How We Ended Up Here
by GrearBeloved
Summary: This story is long winded and as yet unfinished, but I like it. Tension is everything! Making up my own backstory for how Rogue and Gambit fell in love. I'm not following a particular plot, just snatching bits and pieces and making up the rest. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Marvel owns all the characters, names, and settings. You know it, and I know it, and nothing we do can change it. I am not making money off this. Also, do not look for parallels to the comic plot in this story. This is a real fan fiction, not just other interpretations of pre-set events. I am not following a plot line, though I did pull certain events from various places that make no sense. Some of this comes from my own personal experience, because I always wanted to be Rogue. Who doesn't, right? So yes, I'm using the characters we know and love and making their story into what I want it to be. I tried to write in the accents accurately, don't know how great it turned out, but I don't think it's horrendous. So, here it is, I hope you like it. Also, this story is very long. I'm long-winded. Can't help it.

Contact Me: Questions, comments, corrections, death threats, I want them all. Also, if you want to use this story elsewhere, that's fine, actually somewhat flattering, but just tell me that you're doing it so I can giggle with foolish pride.

Summary: Rogue and Remy walk us back over a long road.

Part 1: Where to Begin?

Sometimes, a man's fate c'n walk right in front o' him and he don' see it. It's da strangest t'ing. I t'ink dat's what happened when I first came to dis school. Now I always had an eye for da ladies, dat's true enough. From de time I was a pup I had a certain charm about me dat petites couldn' seem to resist. An' I used it to my advantage, on more dan one occasion. So when Stormy brought me to de Professor, an de rest o' de X-men, dere were several femmes on my mind. Course, de hommes of team were more dan willing to help me sort dem out. D'ere just dat generous. Jean Gray was de first name dat got crossed off my list. Den Wolvie scratched off Jub'lee, by way of making some threatenin' comments dat made it seem less worthwhile, somehow. Dat's al'right. She too young anyhow. Stormy crossed her own self off, which hurt my pride jus' a little. Colossus helped me veto Kitty. I was getting a little discouraged, tell da truth. But finally, dey laid off, and I decided my best bet was prolly Betsy, otherwise known as Elisabeth Braddock aka Psylocke. Beauty, brains, an' an interestin' temperament dat made her jus' enough of a challenge fo' Remy. In my defense, I definitely t'ought lil Rogue was de prettiest petit Gambit ever did see, but I wasn't really looking for l'amour, just den. Never was the settling down type. And I couldn't really have much of a fling wit' a girl I couldn' touch. T'inkin back dat make me feel real stupid. But it was hardly my fault. Seem like now dat we've been through all dat we have, dat de moment I laid eyes on her should have been more dramatic. Seem like I shoulda been struck by lightnin' or somet'in. It didn' happen though.

I saw Rogue and learned her name a long time 'fore we ever actually spoke for de first time. Stormy was rushing me round, pointin' people out ta me but she was real anxious ta get me to da Professor. De t'ing dat stuck out 'bout Rogue was dat she was de only one who made eye contact wit' me. Mos' people get a look at my eyes, and try to look away real fas'. I'm told d'ere more of an acquired taste. Some of de femmes still looked at me, an I'm used to dat, but when I looked back they played coy and made like dey wasn't. But Rogue looked at me out of d'ose green as August eyes and smiled. I smiled back, and thought dat maybe I ought to go an talk to dat one, but Storm hurried me along 'fore I had de chance.

Anyway, I met all de X-men, and decided dat mebbe I'd stick 'round fo' a while. Course, Logan, Scott, and de Prof all had my number, I t'ink, and dey kept me busy on dat count. But I still found time ta wander off ev'ry so often, and talk ta Psylocke some. Seemed to be goin' ok for a bit d'ere, but between dem keeping me busy an her keeping herself busy, I didn' have enough time to really start much. Most of de time I'd wander off and couldn' find her anywhere, and dat's when I started makin some other friends.

First time I talked to Rogue, I was outside, practicin' some card tricks on a bench. Some kids came over, watched fo' a bit, and den wandered back off. Lots o' kids were outside, playing basketball and stuff. And d'ere she was, sitting in a corner by herself, wit' a notebook restin' on her knees, just watchin'. I couldn' help but wonder why a girl dat pretty should be off by herself, wit' no comp'ny and no one ta play wit'. I decided dat d'ere weren't no reason fo' it, and so I went over d'ere.

"I's Rogue, isn't it?"

"Ah didn't know ya paid that much attention, Gambit." She smiled, and pulled some strands of red and white away from her face. I sat down next ta her.

"Touche, chere. But if you're dat interested in my name, den you can call me Remy. Remy LeBeau."

"That's a nice name, Remy, Remy LeBeau." Hurry up wit' da introductions, yeah I know.

"Teasin' already, are we?" I grinned at her. "And what's yo' name, femme?" She looked at the ground fo' a minute, and den said,

"Rogue. Mah name's just Rogue."

"Well den, Rogue, just Rogue, you sound like yo' from around my neck o' de woods."

"Ah'm from Mississippi, and from the sound of yoah French, ah'd say you must be a Cajun."

"I give myself away ev'ry time." She laughed. "So what you doin' over here all by yo'self, petit?"

"Ah was just writin'."

"What about?"

"None of yoah business, Remy LeBeau." She smiled when she said it.

"Den it mus' be about me."

"Don' flatter yourself, swamp rat." Yep, dat was de first time she called me swamp rat.

"Well if it's not bout me, river rat, den why you got ta be so secretive?"

"Creative comeback. An ah ain't secretive."

"Den you don't mind me readin' it." I tried ta snatch de notebook, an she slapped my hand.

"A gentleman shouldn' go grabbin' things from a lady like that."

"When did I say I was a gentleman?" We were laughing. She makes de funniest faces sometime'. I tried ta tackle her, but she shoved my head out of de way and den flew round me. Kinda startled me. She was a lot stronger den I had expected, an' of course, I didn' realize she could fly.

"So dat's yo' power den?" she dropped back down, and her smile faded just a lil bit, but still enough dat I noticed it.

"Not exactly."

"Well, dat's an interestin' answer." D'ere was still a smile on her face, but it had faded entirely out o' her eyes. I felt kinda bad about dat, but I didn' know what I had done to make it go away. She waited a minute, fumbling fo' words, I could tell. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"Ah absorb….energy….ah guess, from other people...when ah touch them. In the case of a mutant, ah absorb they're powers."

"You say dat like it's a horrible t'ing. Seem like it'd be a big advantage." She took another moment, and dis time de smile went gone all de way.

"It's more than that. But if ah tell ya, ya won't feel like talkin' much anymore."

"I doubt dat, cherie."

"Ah don't."

"So little faith, petite? Come on now, I promise. You got Remy all curious now."

She looked at me, real hard. "Y' ain't gonna leave it alone, are ya?"

"Prolly not." She took a deep breath, and she looked at me almos' like she was pleadin' wit' me for somet'in, but I didn' know what.

"Ah absorb memories, and thoughts, too. Ah become the person foah a little while. And the person ah touch…..they get hurt…..real bad. Sometimes they don't get better…." She looked away, like she was ashamed, and I could tell she was t'inking about something, but I knew better den to ask what. I had already pushed farther den I should have, but I didn' know until too late. So I decided I better be real charmin to make up fo' it.

"I see. Well, dat would explain de outfit. Don' get me wrong, chere, you look damn good in it, but it's not exactly climate-conscious." I grinned at her, and she smiled, just a little bit, almost gratefully. Dat made me feel better. I felt real bad fo' her just den, too. No mutant has it easy, dat much I can tell you, but her story….dat's real hard. An' it only gets worse de more you know about it. It's when you get deprived of de simple pleasures of life dat it gets hard in de first place, and not bein able to touch anybody deprives of quite a few. More on dat part later. But she smiled, and dat was good enough fo' now. She came back and sat beside me again, an' out of habit I made a quick appraisal. Den I had some unchristian thoughts. Fortunately fo' me, she started talking again so I didn' have ta worry about it.

"So what's yoah power then? Other than snake charmin' of course."

"Are you sayin dat yo' a snake, femme?" D'ere went does unchristian t'oughts a'gin.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothin', just wonderin' if you were charmed yet."

"You wish."

"Maybe I do."

"You didn't answer my question, Cajun."

"De lady changed de subject. I b'lieve dat falls under de category of self-incrimination, chere?"

"You certainly are full o' yourself, Remy LeBeau."

"'S a trademark."

"Ah bet it is. Good thing there's girls like me around to keep you in check."

"What c'n I say? I'm just a lucky man, I s'pose." I took to shuffling my cards a'gin. She watched me fo' a lil bit.

"You any good at rummy, swamp rat?"

"Depends. What's in it fo' me?"

"Ah got a few minutes 'fore ah gotta get to class. Loser buys lunch?"

"You got yourself a game, chere." Turns out, I am pretty good at rummy. 'Specially when I'm using my cards. She was kin' enough to compliment me on my skills. Always was a fool fo' flattery.

"You dirty rotten swamp rat! You cheated!"

"If it makes you happy ta t'ink so, petit."

"Liar!"

"Au contraire, fille, jus' lucky. You jus' mad cause now you gotta feed me."

"You must be awful hungry if ya felt like ya needed to cheat and lie over a game of rummy."

"Starved." I grinned at her, and she tried to glare at me, but she blushed instead. It was de cutest t'ing.

"Fine then. Ah have to get to class now, ah'm already late, but it's over around one-thirty, so be back then. And ah ain't waiting foah ya!" She flew up and through one of de third floor windows. I was t'inkin she was real cute. But about dat time, I spotted Psylocke through one o' de downstairs windows, and went back on to pursuing my original purpose. Always been bad 'bout getting' sidetracked.

I walked in, an' Betsy was typin' away on her laptop, her mouth set in a straight line dat sometimes makes me wonder if de fille ever smiles.

"You sho' look serious, chere. What you workin' on? Nuclear physics?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, obviously not amused. Gon' hafta try a lil harder, it seemed.

"I'm checking my e-mail, Gambit. You know, personal stuff, where you wish people would knock before they came in and sat down."

"You sure know how ta make a man feel welcome. An' 'xactly how many times do I hafta ask ya ta call me Remy?"

"A few more, let's put it that way. Now if you'll excuse me." She turned back to the computer screen.

"Actually, I was wonderin' if I could get some advice."

"I'm sure you could. I hear they're having a sale down at Office Depot."

"C'mon, I'm being innocen' here." She sighed and put two fingers to her temples.

"What?"

"T'anks fo' yo' interest an' undyin' generosity."

"You're welcome. Now I repeat, what?" Dat was all I needed in de way of encouragement. Waste not want not, I guess. So I started in wit' somet'in 'bout de security systems. Ended up findin' out dat day dat Psylocke's jus a bit ticklish. Don' tell her I told. I'm sworn to secrecy. Overall, I was feelin' a gen'ral sense o' well-being about life. Den I noticed da clock. 2:15pm. I was struck wit' a sense of forgettin' somet'in.

"Oh shit."

"What?"

"Jus' realized I was supposed ta meet someone." Shoulda thought 'bout dat one fo' it came outta my mouth. Betsy didn' look pleased.

"Oh really?"

"Now chere…"

"I didn't realize I was being such a distraction. You should run along then. I'll try not to let it happen again."

"T'ain't like dat…"

"You don't have to explain it to me, Gambit. Not like I care."

"You done cut me to de quick."

"I doubt it. Now get the hell out before I have to break out the big guns. Literally."

"Only cause you ask, ma petite." I made a flourishing bow and den wen' to make my exit.

"You know I only got eyes fo' you."…yeah, I'm aware dat it was a lie. Knew it den too. Was a long time ago. I'm sure she's forgiven me.

She quipped suggestively, "If you run into Warren, tell him to stop by. I'm lonely." Two steps fo'ward, one step back. But I hate ta let down a lady. I went out to where we talked earlier, on de chance dat she would still be d'ere, but dat wasn't de case. I shook my head.

"Remy you putz". Norm'lly I pride myself on showmanship. Not one ta leave a pretty girl waitin' long. Well, maybe she'd gone in to da cafeteria. I didn' like it in d'ere. Too many young people. Too many hormones. Mostly mine, yeah. Actually, I jus' never liked cafeterias. De food is so bad it makes me wan' to cry. But I was willing to brave de culinary disaster area fo' her, even den. So I went in d'ere, and looked around. Hard ta see anybody in particular in a room dat full. Kids' clustered round every table, talkin', eatin', playin'. So I walked around, mostly not bein' noticed in all de' hullabaloo. But den I saw her, sittin in a table by de window, wit' her notebook out in front o' her, an' her pen on de paper, but her eyes were elsewhere. D'ere was a tray of food, or somet'in like it, but it looked like she shared my disdain fo' de piddlin' excuse of a pizza. Once again, she was sittin' all by herself. She didn' even notice me walk up, till I pulled out de chair beside her.

"Remy gives his humblest apologies fo' bein late. I was workin' on somet'in an couldn' get away till now."

"You think ah missed ya?" Blow after blow after blow. Never a break. Not even fo' me.

"Doesn' hurt a fella ta hope, does it?" Dashin' smile, perfect timing. Normally it's fairly effective.

"Keep tryin' ta smooth talk me, Cajun, and we'll find out." Ouch. Backfire. De hurt puppy routine? I gave her de mos' pitiful face I could manage. De side of her mouth twitched. Success.

"It's fine Cajun. Yoah the one who missed a free meal. Yoah loss."

"No chance fo' it now, huh?"

"Ah wouldn't bet on it. 'Sides, ah only got a few more minutes anyway. Yoah that late. Course, unless yoah after the tomato disaster they like to call pizza…"

"Dat's all right, chere. I'd sooner eat my own shirt." She didn' say anyt'ing. I raised an eyebrow, expectantly. She looked down at her notebook. Interestin'.

"So you go anywhere wit'out dat t'ing?"

"Not at school. It keeps me busy."

"Why you always sit by yo'self, chere?" She didn' look at me, she jus' shrugged. "You didn' spit on de class president or somet'in like dat, did you?"

"Ah'm not from the bayou, Remy."

"Gimme jus' a sec ta remove de knife from my ribcage, and den I might have a comeback fo' dat one."

"Maybe you shouldn't ask so many questions, then."

"Maybe if you answered one or two of dem, I wouldn'."

"What are you doin' here, anyway?"

"Jus' enjoyin' scenic upstate New York."

"Liar."

"Only sometimes."

"Ah bet."

"Not well."

"You rotten little…"

"Save de poetry for an'oder time, belle. Wouldn' wan' you to run out."

"Don't you worry about that, Remy. Ah think ah have a bottomless cup of romance when it comes to you."

"De very t'ought takes my breath away."

"It'd be nice if that were true."

"It'd leave me in quite a vulnerable state, dat's true enough. Remy can't help but wonder what de femme would do wit' such an opportunity." Ok, I admit I was gettin' a lil fo'ward wit' her, but I couldn' help it. Unfo'tunately, de bell rung jus' den, and she never answered me. Maybe I'll ask her again, sometime, now dat dat occurred to me. But on wit' da story…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I needed someone to be mean so I picked Kitty. I am sorry to any Kitty fans I may have offended by this. Fear not, for she has upcoming plot to make up for it later.

Yeah, ah suppose Remy and I shoulda been struck by lightning. Or maybe a mild case of spontaneous combustion. But as he said befoah, that didn't happen. Ah shoulda taken a hint from those eyes o' his. Ah shoulda taken a hint when he tried ta snatch mah notebook. Ah 'specially shoulda taken a hint when he didn't show up foah lunch. But ah didn't. Ah guess ah had a lot more patience then than ah do now. Or maybe ah was just a lot more hopeful.

Y'see, when Remy showed up, ah had only been on the X-men scene foah couple of months. It was made clear ta me from the moment ah knocked at the door that there wasn't gonna be no welcome party. An could ah blame them? Not really. Ah had been fightin' with the Brotherhood, and against them, (fairly successfully, ah might add with just a tinge of pride) and they were none too keen on me just showin' up an walkin' in. But ah didn't have any other choice. The dreams had gotten worse an worse, an ah was even startin ta forget who ah was an who ah wasn't. Didn't matter much to them, not at first. Which is why they were very surprised when the Professor said that not only could ah stay, but ah was gonna join the X-men. Ah don't know why he did it, but ah ain't one to take kindness from strangers lightly. From that moment on, ah was determined not to let him down, but somehow ah had to prove it to the others. That turned out to be easier said than done.

Kitty was, as always, a doll. She made sure ah had lots of friends at school, by tellin' them all the great things about me, like that ah could steal your soul by touchin you, maybe even by gettin' too close, that Cyclops was worried that ah was a spy, tryin' to steal other mutants powers an become the new Magneto, the list goes on. After hearin' about all that, the kids were even nice enough ta give me mah own room.

Thus far, ah had two 'friends' per se. The first an' foremost was Logan. He was sorta an outsider himself, and he hadn't been around long enough ta have a good reason ta hate me. Ah kinda think he liked me because Cyke didn't, at first anyway, but turns out our personalities got on pretty well. But Logan ain't around most of the time, and he's busy for a lot of the rest. Not really a social type. The other was Bobby Drake. He enjoyed makin' fun of me, an ah think that was his primary motivation, but he was decent to me, as long as he thought nobody was lookin', at least. So mostly, ah was pretty lonely, an a little nervous. Ev'rybody was just waitin' for me to screw up and then ah'd be outta there faster than greased grits, with no where to go and no one who cared.

Then Remy showed up. At the time, ah was curious about somebody new, so I paid attention. At least that's the best ah could come up with in the way of a well thought out lie. When ah first saw him, he had his brown leather trench coat slung over on shoulder, black boots, torn up jeans and black tank top on. He walked in the room with as much ease as though he owned the place, and pushed a strand of red hair away from his brow. And ah got stuck. Mah brain just quit, and went into a state of shock. The song "You're So Vain" played faintly in mah head, and ah was overwhelmed by extreme and unexpected hotness. He looked over at me, an ah was still stuck. Ah just stared at him. Right into those red on black eyes. An then the curse took over. Ah have a real bad habit of grinnin' real big when ah'm thinkin' somethin' I probably shouldn't. He smiled back at me, and cocked his head to one side, curiously. Foah a minute, he looked like he was gonna come over an talk ta me.

"Please God, if you ever had mercy don't let that man come over here." I thought to mahself. See, phase two of the curse happens when ah try to open mah mouth while ah'm stuck. It never goes ta mah advantage. Fortunately, God's mercy came that day in the form of 'Ro, or Ororo Munroe, aka Storm, puttin' a hand on his arm an hurryin' him along. Ah watched him till he got out of the room, and then set about the sometimes complicated task of breathin'.

'Course, God's mercy only runs so far, an we ended up talkin' after all. Several times. Ah told 'im the first time about mah powers. Ah didn't want to, but ah figure he's got a right ta know if he's gonna be around. Ah didn't tell him all of it, ah'll admit that, but some things ah liked ta keep on a need ta know basis. He didn't seem to mind that much, and ah can't tell you how nice it was just ta have somebody ta talk to. He'd show up ev'ry so often, an we'd play cards, an talk. Argue, really, but ah think he enjoyed it as much as ah did. He was cute, he really was. An ah knew that, so I had ta get my intentions straight right from the beginnin'. Ah mentioned mah first reaction, but ah was well aware that bein physically attracted ta somebody did me absolutely no good. And mah previous experiences with lettin' people get close ta me hadn't gone too well. So ah wasn't lookin' ta start anything. But the more he hung around, the more ah noticed me enjoyin' his company, and missin' him when he wasn't around. But ah didn't pay attention, cause ah figured ah didn't have ta worry about it with Gambit bein' the way he is. He has "playa" written all over him, and as long as he didn't care about me, then ah couldn't really care about him, could ah? Sweet naivety.

Well, the plan was foolproof until the day he decided to play "knight in shinin' leather". Ah was walkin' down the hall, tryin' ta get to mah next class, when Jubilee accidentally bumped into me. Wasn't a big deal. Our shoulders touched, and she turned around to say "'Cuse me." But then she saw it was me, and her eyes went big. She backed off real fast and started examinin' her shoulder like it had broken out in leprosy. Jubilee isn't a mean girl, mostly. She's just not a philosopher, either. Ah sighed. Ah should really be used to things like that afta all these years. But ah ain't.

"It's all right, Jub'lee. If ah had touched ya, you'd have known about it. Sorry ta have startled ya."

Jubilee looked at me, and then looked kinda embarrassed. "S'alright. It's not like you meant to or anything."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Jubes." Kitty stepped out of the crowd. Goody. Mah favorite. "After all, she is a member of the brotherhood. Just because the Prof is a sap doesn't mean we signed a contract to trust her."

"Kitty…" Jubilee began, kinda nervously.

"Dontcha worry about it Jubilee. It's not like ah give a shit what she says about me. If it makes her feel better, then that's fine by me."

"I think you care a lot more than you let on. I think you're terrified about what I could tell them about you."

"You haven't left much out, thus far. Ah'm just sorry that your life is so boring you cain't find anything better ta do than talk about mine." Ah tried ta walk away from it. Mainly cause there was a crowd gatherin' and ah didn't feel like bein' in the middle of it.

"So Rogue, you heard from Carol lately?" Ah stopped in mah tracks. That was somethin' nobody was supposed to know outside the Professor, Hank, Jean, and Cyclops. They swore to me!

"You don't know what yoah talkin' about, Kitty."

"I think I do. But I wonder who else does? I wonder what Bobby would think. You like Bobby, don't you? Oh wait, it doesn't really matter. Not like you could hold hands in the hall or anything." She was cuttin' me up, real good. There were several snickers, and I could feel the heat risin' ta mah face.

"No Kitty, ah cain't touch other people. Thank you foah pointin' out the obvious. You about done?"

"Hardly. Just give me second to consult my list." She pulled out a familiar green notebook. Mah familiar green notebook. The one that was missin' since psychology class yesterday. A big "awwwwwww!" went through the crowd.

"You give that back! That's none o' your business!" She grinned triumphantly. She had me, an she knew it. What the hell had I done ta her?

"What's the matter, Rogue? You're looking a little pale, all of the sudden."

"Kitty, come on…" Bobby said from somewhere in the crowd.

"You curious, Bobby? You're mentioned several times. Ever wonder what would happen if you two ever kissed? Well why don't we ask Cody? He was her first kiss, ya know. Oh wait, he's still in a coma, isn't he?" Ah felt a lump risin' ta mah throat, and ah prayed that ah would just pass out. Ah still missed Cody. An ah spent most of mah time tryin' ta get away from him, only ta have this hussy throw it back in mah face.

"At least people wanna touch me, Kitty, ah think that's what makes you so mad. You couldn't get yoah hands on Colossus no matter how much deodorant you put on in the mornin'." Cheap shot. Anythin' to get her off mah back. "Ooh" went the stupid crowd that follows fights around makin' dumb noises. Ah really hated highschool, come ta think of it. Boy did she look mad, though. Then Colossus stepped up on the other side. Great. Usually ah can rely on the fact that boys don't hit girls. But considerin' our previous relationship….ah wasn't feelin' terribly confident. But ah wasn't about ta let it show. Ah put on as much steel as ah could, but ah was still hurtin', an' ah was afraid of what Kitty was tryin' ta do.

"I've got a lot of things I could throw at you, Rogue, you sure you want to gamble with me?"

"No, ah don't. Ah want you ta give me mah notebook and leave me alone."

"How about I give you the notebook and you get the hell outta here? Can't you see that you're already alone? Nobody wants you here. I don't know what Mystique has you trying to pull but if you're still here when the game's up you're gonna be in serious trouble."

"Are you threatenin' me?"

"Maybe."

"Even ah didn't think you were that dumb."

"You accepting?"

"Ah'm not gonna fight you, Kitty. Ah don't care what you do."

"Then get outta here."

"No. An' get used to it."

"Too bad you weren't cocky enough to say that your daddy."

"STOP IT!" Ah'd had it, ah tried to snatch mah notebook, but she teleported to mah left and slammed it against the side of mah head. The crowds went wild. And that's when ah got mad. REAL mad. Ah knew that Betsy, 'Ro and Scott had just come around the corner, and were about to come get in the middle of it, but ah didn't care. Ah pulled my arm back and got ready ta knock that girl into next week, and then somebody caught mah hand.

"Whoa there, chere. You don' need ta do that. S'alright." Ah turned and saw Remy standin' there, and ah wanted ta die. Dead silence all around. He held onto mah hand until he figured ah wasn't gonna try anythin', and then he let it go. He walked over ta Kitty, and just stared at her. It almost looked like his eyes were glowin', he looked so mad. Suddenly, he snatched the notebook out of her hands so harshly it made her jump.

"You wanna talk about yo' pa'ents today?" She just stared at him, afraid ta say anythin'. He was real intimidatin' just then.

"I didn' t'ink so." He turned to look at the rest of them. 'Ro and Scott just watched him, waitin' ta see what he'd do.

"What about de rest o' ya? Anybody wan' ta talk about dey pa'ents, or dey old best friends, or dey old boyfriends?" He looked around challengingly. Nobody met his gaze. "Non? Y'all oughta be 'shamed o' yo'selves. Y'all got a rare chance fo' somet'in special here, and you 'bout to destroy it wit' stupid crap like dis. You." He turned back to Kitty. "I hope, fo' yo' sake, that I don' have to hear 'bout any more trouble from you." He gave her a meaningful glare. She looked away. He turned back to me. Ah had forgotten how ta breathe again. An' much as ah hate to admit it, ah was shakin' somethin' fierce from a combination of everythin'. He handed me mah notebook, and ah took it from him slowly.

"You late fo' class, chere?" Ah couldn't do anythin' but nod.

"I'll walk wit' ya, make sure you don' get in trouble fo' it." He took mah books from me, all except mah notebook, and then looked around one last time. Ah swear to this day his eyes were glowing. He took his jacket off and slung it over his shoulder. Then, he put one bare arm firmly around mah shoulders, an' walked me to class. Almost, anyway. Afta that, ah decided ta hell with class an' ah just had him take me back ta mah room. We left Storm, Psylocke, and Cyclops to finish cleanin' up the mess. Ah went in an sat on mah bed. He just hovered in the doorway.

"You gon' be all right, chere?" Ah couldn't help but chuckle a little, sarcastically.

"Yeah Remy, ah'll be just fine."

"She didn' have no right ta say any o' dat to you." Ah looked up at him.

"'Xactly how much of that did you hear, sugah?" (Sorry ta interrupt, but dis is de first time she called me "sugah". Not "swamp rat", not "Cajun", not even "Gambit" or "Remy". I jus' t'ought dat it would be interestin' ta note.)

"I heard enough."

"You didn't have ta do that."

"But I wanted to. 'Sides, turned out ta be quite a shinin' moment fo' me, non?" He smiled.

"Remy, ah don't know what you must be thinkin' about me…"

"Remy's not t'inkin' anyt'ing he wasn' already. I don' got much of a platform ta condemn anybody else." He walked in a little ways, an' ah felt mah fingahs tighten against the bed. He stopped in front of me.

"C'n I sit down, petit?"

"If ya want to."

"Well bon, cause I wan' to." He sat down, and he was close enough that his arm touched mine. Ah was wearin' a jacket, and as much as ah would've liked to snuggle up ta him just then, ah moved away, just to be safe. He watched me, notin' every move. It was just a lil' nerve wrackin'.

"Seems kinda funny that mah guardian angel should have glowin' red eyes." Ah meant it jokingly, but he looked away from me. Ah didn't realize it was a sensitive subject.

"No, don't look away. Ah didn' mean it like that. Ah…..ah like yoah eyes."

He looked back up, a half smile playin' around his mouth. "Yeah, chere?"

Ah felt the heat risin' ta mah face, and so ah tried real hard not ta let it show. "Yeah."

"Well dat's a nice surprise. Den, you hate all de t'ings about me dat people norm'lly like, so it only makes sense dat you should like de one t'ing dey all seem ta be afraid of." He laughed. Ah smiled jus' a little bit.

"D'ere now. I saw dat. You gon' be jus' fine after all." Ah sighed, and smiled a little wider.

"Yeah, ah'll be fine. Had you any doubt? You didn't think ah was gonna cry or somethin', did ya?"

"Now you lef' me wit' two unpleasant options, chere. One, say no and deny you yo' femininity, or two, say yes an' say yo' a wuss. I'm gonna plead de fifth and take my leave on dat note. 'Sides, I t'ink you'll be wantin' some time by yo'self, n'est pas?" No ah didn't.

"Yeah, ah could probably use a little time ta relax."

"All right den. You let me know if you need any'ting?"

Ah went to say somethin' back, but it was that exact moment that the alarm went off. "X-men to the jet deck…..X-men to the jet deck…" the robotic voice said over and over. Ah groaned.

"So much foah rest and relaxation. C'mon Cajun."

"After you, ma belle."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Parcheesi or Clue. Also, when people are communicating telepathically, I have denoted it by using hyphens on either side rather than quotation marks. Good luck.

Part 3: Mission Improbable

Never a dull momen' round here. Dat's fo' sure. C'est la vie. But despite de impossible missions an' ridiculous odds, dere's always an upside ta everything. Fo' instance, I didn' feel like going on a mission jus' den. I had already saved de day jus' a few minutes ago, and now I had ta go an' do it a'gin. But dere was a reward fo' my perserverance. Turned out ta be de first time I saw de X-femmes in d'ere skin tight, black leather uniforms. Stormy walked out, and my eyes got big. Betsy walked out, an' my jaw dropped. Rogue walked out, an' I started droolin'. Jean Gray walked out, an' I got hit upside de head wit' a telekinetic'lly guided gym bag. I love Jeannie. She was my fav'rite dat day. After dat experience, I was ready fo' a cigarette. But dat wasn' in de cards, I guess. Cyke started talkin', instead.

"All right people, we've got a report of a mutant being held captive in a remote location somewhere in South Dakota." Where else? Why does it always have ta be a remote location?

"We suspect there are several others being held there as well, but we don't have concrete data on that. Aerial survey shows a relatively small compound…"

"Relative ta what?" I said.

"Other compounds, of course." Bobby grinned. Storm shot him a look. Cyclops ignored the entire exchange.

"We're estimating man power to be somewhere over a hundred, which isn't too bad for a recovery mission, but the difficult part is going to be technological security."

"Ah'm assumin' you've already got a plan?" Rogue said. Scott opened his mouth to respond, but got cut off by Bishop.

"Are you sure you wanna send her out on this? A little high profile, don't you think?"

"What in tarnation is that supposed ta mean?" She challenged.

"It means I'm not entirely comfortable with you watching my back, given past history, and this mission gives you way too many opportunities to slip up, if you're going to."

"Well ah ain't gonna. An' if you think foah one minute that ah'm gonna put up with…"

Dang, she sho' ain't da social butterfly around here. Jus' runs from one mess to da uddah. Scott piped up den.

"Look, I don't really like the sound of this mission. It leaves one too many questions answered vaguely, and if I'm going to send a team out based on that, I'd rather overcompensate than end up short handed. We need as many people as we can possibly get, so Rogue goes."

"Yeah Bishop, lay off. I would think you of all people could appreciate a chick that operates like a living plasma cannon." Bobby quipped. Bishop didn' look amused. I wondered if all de missions started out on such a cheerful note wit' d'ese people.

"Any word from Logan?" Storm asked, tactfully changin' de subject.

"None yet. We could use him, too, but you know how he is about being on the blitz." Jean answered her, as though she was de authority on de subject. Scott looked at her strangely. Well, I guess it was a strange look. Can' really tell wit' dat t'ingy he wears over de top half of his face. Much as I hate ta digress, d'ere's somet'in I've always wondered 'bout Cyke's fashion sense. He's got a decent lookin' pair of red sunglasses dat mostly pass fo' normal. Den he's got dis really ugly visor t'ing dat looks like it came out of "Geeks Unlimited Catalog". Why would you ever wear dat t'ing, if you had an option? Was d'ere no way known ta man…or in dis case, Hank, ta put de blast control on de sunglasses too? It jus' bothers me. Has fo' years. But not somet'in I can exactly ask, either. Anyway…

"Who's Logan?" I asked. I guess dose are de magic words fo' makin' him appear.

"That would be me." Ev'rybody else turned ta look at de figure in de doorway. I turned ta look wit' utter jealousy at de smoke trailin' from da end o' his cigar.

"Logan!" Rogue said, a lil too excitedly, if ya ask me. I still wasn' after her, necessarily. As a matter of fact, I t'ought t'ings were going fairly well wit' me an' Betsy. But dat didn' change de fact dat I still felt tempted ta pout. She ran over d'ere, but what shoulda been a hug was jus' her puttin' her hands on his shoulders at arms length. He smiled at her.

"Hey darlin'. Did I miss anything?" Darlin'? Her name wasn' "darlin'". Her name was "chere".

"Scott was just givin' us the rundown."

"Then the answer is no, I didn't." He looked around the room. "Where's Hank?"

"He's in Ohio, giving a lecture." Storm answered. "Good to have you back. Sometimes you have impeccable timing."

"I do what I can." He took a long puff on dat cigar I mentioned, and den his eyes fell on me.

"Who're you?"

"Well since you asked so nic'ly, my name is Gambit." He looked over ta Scott.

"He comin' with us?" Scott nodded.

"Got a problem wit' dat, homme?"

"If I did, you'd know by now, runt."

"Come on now, boys, ain't no reason ta get snappy. Play nice, Logan. Remy, you'll have ta get used ta Wolvie here." Rogue was lookin' back an' forth between the two of us, smilin' apologetically at bot' parties. An' she was still wearin' de skin tight uniform. I got distracted, so I didn' say anyt'ing. Logan was watchin' me though.

"He a friend o' yers, darlin'?"

"Sorta."

"Then that's good enough fer me. Are we gonna get this show on the road, or are we settlin' in fer a nice round of Parcheesi?"

Scott sighed an' shook his head. De unendin' joys o' leadin' de X-men.

"Ok, we need to get the security systems off, so Gambit, Psylocke, you need to get into the control room without being noticed."

"Dat's my specialty." I said, grinnin' at Psylocke. De femme rolled her eyes, but she smiled. Definite progress.

"Once you get the systems under control, you're gonna be monitoring us and giving us a heads up if necessary. We need a distraction, something to draw the manpower out so the inside crew can slip in. Considering that there may be possible discrepancies in my numbers, I'd prefer if we have two. Colossus and Bishop, I want you on the south side. Logan, with me on the west. Bobby and Storm, you're going to give us air support. There's a lot of radio waves surrounding the place to defer most forms of radar, so our communicators may be out. For that reason, and because it's impractical for us to be shouting into them when we've got people on stealth missions, Jean, I want you in reserve, and while you're there, you're going to keep us all in contact, and help us navigate." I felt like I ought ta salute or somet'ing. Dis was a far cry from da mechanics teacher he had been earlier dis afternoon.

"What am ah supposed ta do?" Rogue asked.

"You're going to be the inside crew. Once we've got security control, I want you in on the north side, and then Jean will guide you through. Gambit and Psylocke should be on monitor, but you're probably going to meet some opposition. Still, you've got the speed and the strength factor to get through there, and find our guy."

"All right, then ah guess mah next question is what exactly am ah lookin' foah?"

"His name is Kurt Wagner. We couldn't find much information on him, save he's originally from Germany, and he's a teleporter."

"Why doesn' he just get himself outta d'ere?"

"Could be incapacitated, could be controlled, we're not exactly sure. Any other questions?"

"If I'm not in class tomorrow, does that count as an excused absence? Or is it still cutting?"

"BOBBY!"

"Hey, I thought that was a fairly legitimate question."

"Any other questions?"

Colossus piped up, finally. "What happens if something does wrong? As it tends to do?"

"Let's just discuss that then rather than jinx ourselves. Any OTHER questions?"

"Can we get matching purses to go along with the rest of our ensemble when this mission is over?"

"I'll take that as a no, Psylocke. Ok, let's board up. Bobby, for the thousandth time, may I remind you that we use CODE NAMES ONLY in the field."

"Well then what am I supposed to call Jean?"

"Smart aleck." Jean replied.

"Again, I pose a legitimate question, and again, receive no answer. There is a conspiracy here!"

"Oh SHUT UP Bobby." Logan threw over his shoulder as he walked towards the jet.

"That's Iceman to you, Sparky."

"One of these days, kid….." he muttered.

"ALL RIGHT. Just get on the plane! For crying out loud!" Seems our fearless leader was already gettin' exasperated.

"Whatever you say, mon capitan!"

Took us a couple o' hours ta get dere. I opted ta sit wit' Betsy, an much as she put on like I was some kind of nuisance, she was startin' ta loosen up a bit. Rogue didn' say anyt'ing. She jus' sat wit' Logan, and dey talked all de way dere. She seemed ta relax a lot now dat he was around. I couldn' decide whether I liked dat or not. But I guess de seatin' positions ain't 'xactly interestin', so we'll move on.

We landed smack in de middle o' nowhere. Nothin' but trees fo' miles around. I couldn' help but t'ink dat dis was secretly just a cover fo' a bad remake o' "Swiss Family Robinson".

It started out jus' as we planned. It always does, doesn' it? Me an Betsy walked up to da wire fence dat had a big welcome sign on it dat read, "DANGER: HIGH VOLTAGE. KEEP OUT!" I clucked ta myself an' shook my head. We walked around till we found da gate entrance. D'ere was a keypad d'ere, obviously fo' some kind of code input, an' a card scanner. Medieval at best. Dey obviously had no idea who dey were dealin' wit'. Underneath was de cover, so I took de screws out an' handed it to Betsy. Den it was jus' a couple o' minutes, playin' a lil wit' de wiring, before we got de green light an de gate opened. Amateurs. We walked in, wary o' any uddah presence, but as Cyclops predicted, night staff was minimal. We got in de buildin' wit' no incident.

-All right, Jeannie, where to?-

-There should be a long corridor on your left about 100ft. down the hall. And just "Jean" will do nicely, Gambit.-

-You people sho' are sticklers fo' detail.-

-Focus, please.-

-Course.-

We followed the directions dat far.

-We're in.-

-Third door on the right should be a staircase, you need to get to the fourth floor, and then the door across from you will be security clearance only. You need to get in there.-

-I's as good as done.-

Door on de right, stairs, good, fourth floor, check, and den security clearance door. Where is de security clearance door? Dis ain't funny.

-Well, two outta three ain't bad, dat I'll give you, chere, but in dis instance….-

-Gambit, it's JEAN for crying out loud, and what's the problem?-

-There's no door here. Jus' a wall starin' back at me.-

-Lemme double check….the blue prints say it's a door.-

-Well tell de blueprints dat Gambit is standin' right here, an' it ain't.-

-Hold on a second guys.- Psylocke's voice went through my head. Den I heard it too. Footsteps comin' round de corner. I grabbed Psylocke's arm and we went back into de staircase, an' watched out de window. Two guys in lab coats walked down de hall and stopped right in front of de wall. He had what I'm guessin' is a communicator on de lapel of his jacket, an' pushed a button on it.

"Jones, Collins, your shift is up. Requesting clearance for Sector 13 C." Dere was a response, but dere was too much static fo' me to hear. Next t'ing dat happened, de wall jus' opened up. Dis was a golden opportunity. I looked at Psylocke, an' she nodded. We flew outta dere and it was over fo' it ever began. I don' t'ink dey knew what hit dem. De bottom of my palm connected sharply ta de back of my man's skull, an' he was out cold. De uddah got better acquainted wit' Psylocke's boot before she brought her head down sharply 'gainst his an' dat was de quittin' time fo' him. Almos' disappointing. We pulled dem through the door, an' we were in.

-What the hell's going on?-

-Had some business to take care of, Jean. Sorry. But you were right about the door. However, it seems that all security clearance areas are going to be hidden, visually anyway. You have to communicate directly with the control center to open the doors. We were lucky that time, and it shouldn't be a problem once we get in there, but if we have any more on the way life it going to be difficult.- Psylocke clarified to Jean.

-Maybe not.- I t'ought to dem, an' picked up one o' de communicators.

-I doubt that will work, we would need the code name for the areas, and no Cajun accent.- Psylocke thought ta me.

-I's worth a shot. Let me work on de one, you work on de uddah. Where to, Jean?-

-Second on the left, security clearance, that should be it.-

Well dat was funny cause dere were no doors anywhere in dis hallway. Hmmm…if I were gonna put doors in dis hallway, where would I put de second one on de left? We stood where we thought we should be, and den Psylocke started puzzling over how ta override de system with no visible seams. I focused on lettin' de accent slip away, an makin' my voice as much like de one I had heard earlier as I could. I pushed de button on de communicator.

"All right Jones, we're here."

"Come on Richards, what area?"

"Second to the right and straight on till morning. I haven't had any coffee yet, cut me a break and let me in, huh?"

"You've gotta start using the codes, man."

An' magically, the door opened. We lunged in, an' took care of de aforementioned Jones an' Collins wit' almos' no effort. Psylocke turned an' smiled at me.

"Nice one, Gambit." I jus' winked at her in response. We took our seats and startin' hackin' the system wit' ease. If I had a nickel fo' ev'ry time I've hacked a security system….actually, I usually end up wit' more dan dat, but let's not get off subject.

-All right team, we're in. I put out.-

-Wolverine and I are in position. Colossus, Bishop? What's your status? Cyclops voice rang out militantly.-

-All geared up and bored as hell.-

-Storm, Iceman?-

-Oh the weather outside is frightful…-

-ICEMAN!-

-Let it snow, Cyclops. Just let it snow.-

-Nevermind. Psylocke, Gambit, turn the fence off and get us on the grounds.-

-Jus' point an' click…..you got it, Cyclops.-

-Rogue, you don't move until I give the word.-

-Wouldn' dream of it, sugah.-

-All right, Colossus, Bishop, you're on go.-

I got ta watch it all come together on de screens in de control room. It was beautiful. Bishop opened fire about 15 seconds later, makin' some nice craters in de concrete. I got to find dat man's rifle dealer. Didn' take de security guards long to get out d'ere after dat. Bishop seemed to be in an out o' de shadows, so dey aimed at Colossus, who's metallic self was shinin' like silver in de moonlight. As you can imagine, dat didn' do much good. Bounced offa him like raindrops. Dey charged in after him, but Colossus didn' seem too bothered. Actually, it looked like he was t'inkin' dey were dere fo' flyin' lessons. Bishop finally came out, and got hit a few times, but he jus' took all dat energy an' threw it back wit' a smile. What goes around comes around, I guess.

-Wolverine and I are going. Bobby, Storm, wait for my signal.-

An' den we watched dem emerge from de shadows. Dey had ta actually dodge de bullets, but dey did a nice job of it. Wolverine started lookin' scarier and scarier as he tore through anyone close enough wit' all de fury of a rabid…..well…wolverine. Cyclops blasted away with red beams. Dey were holdin' off pretty well till Wolverine got hit wit' somet'in special. Looks like dey were breakin' out de big guns. He just howled an' collapsed, an' smoke started risin' from him.

-WOLVERINE!- Scott ran over to him, keepin' de crowds off as best he could wit' de blasts.

-STORM, ICEMAN, NOW!- Thunder in de distance. Wolverine got up.

-Wolverine? Are you ok?- Jean t'ought out to him.

-Ow.- Was the response.

-What's goin' on?-

About dat time, Scott went down on hands an knees, grindin' his teeth. He got back up about 5 seconds later.

-SCOTT! Are you ok!?-

-I'm ok. They're hitting us with some kind of electric current. It feels like a ranged taser. It's not fatal, but it hurts like hell. Wolverine, Colossus, you need keep moving.-

-Why just us?- Colossus came back.

-Because we're free roamin' lightning rods, kid. And you don't have a regeneration factor.-

-Oh.-

-Storm, give us some cover, will ya? Lots of it.-

-That's going to make it very hard for Iceman and I to keep you covered from up here.-

-I'll just keep you posted. We've got too many ranged weapons out here, and besides, that'll give Rogue a little advantage.-

-As you wish, Cyclops.-

-As de fog started rollin' in, I turned to Psylocke.-

"You know, it's too bad we don' have any popcorn or anyt'ing."

"Can you be serious for just a second?"

"Why, you got a confession ta make?"

She turned back to the screen, but she chuckled.

-Rogue, get in there!- Cyclops called.

-Gambit, Psylocke, ah'm on the north side. Can y'all let me in the gate, please?-

-Even under stress, de femme has manners, non? Come on in, chere.- Rogue showed up on de screen, flyin' jus' above de ground. Jus' den an icicle flew past her head, an' she turned around in fightin' stance.

-Sorry! I didn't see who you were!-

-Dangit Bobby! You scared the bejeezus outta me!-

Y-ou better get in there fast, we're moving that way!-

She flew jus' as fast as she could. Turns out dat's pretty fast.

-Jean?-

-I'm on it. You need to get down to the basement. The nearest staircase is on the other side of the building. Just follow the hallway around, you should turn right twice and then it'll be first door on your left.-

She started dat way.

-Hold on, you've got three guards coming your way. Probably trying to get outside. See if you can hide somewhere long enough for them to pass.- Psylocke warned. Rogue just rose straight up into the air, wit' her back agains' de ceiling. Dey ran right under her, but de third one didn't quite make it. She brought bot' fists down on either side of his neck wit' as much force as she could muster. He collapsed, an' de uddah's turned around. She swung herself upright, an den pulled one fist back an' let it go, slammin' it straight into de one's face, an' even on de monitor we heard de crunch of his nose breakin' as he flew back down de hall. When he landed, he didn' move none. De last one fell victim to a roundhouse kick, but he was a lil' quicker an' caught her foot. She did what looked like a no-handed cartwheel an' slammed his whole body straight into da floor.

-Dat was pretty.- She blew a kiss to the camera.

-You could've just let them pass you know.- Psylocke admonished.

-Ah thought ah'd save the other's some trouble, while the opportunity presented itself.-

She flew on down de hallway, until she came to the door dat Jean had told her she needed ta get into. She went in cautiously, and den down de stairs. At de bottom, de whole floor was open jus' like some kinda warehouse, wit' cubicles dat looked like dey was jus' normal offices.

-Ah thought ah was supposed to get to the holdin' cells.-

-The blueprints indicate that the holding cells were on the bottom floor.-

-Well we already had an argument wit' dose very same blueprints earlier.-

-But they were right, if you'll remember, Gambit. Rogue, look around, see if you can find anything.-

We watched her fly around, but dere was nothin' ta see.

-All right, everyone hold on a second.- Psylocke said as she started in on her keyboard.

-Rogue, what's your status in there?- Cyclops' asked out of de blue.

-Not sure at the moment. Ah seem ta be lost.-

-We don't have time for you to be lost. Jean, where is she?-

-I don't know Scott, the blueprints are obviously a bit ommitant.-

-We're getting creamed out here! They've got every kind of explosive I can think of, and we've got no air cover because the fog is the only hiding place! We've apparently traded off team members, without authorization, cause Logan and Bishop got blood frenzied, and Colossus and I- -

-Whoa, chere, you got ta watch out! You got company!- She turned just in time so dat de bullet hit her shoulder instead o' de back of her head. She cried out and clutched the wound, and de blood ran over her gloves. She flew around, dodgin' de oncomin' fire.

-Rogue!-

-It's all right, Gambit, it's just grazed, most likely. It's just bleedin' some. However, ah'd really like to know where this is comin' from?-

-WOLVERINE'S DOWN!- Bishop shouted.

-What do you mean he's down?! Where are you?!- Cyclops answered.

-He got blasted back into the fence, you know, the one marked 1000 friggen volts?-

-That's supposed to be off! Gambit! Psylocke!-

Jus' den, a siren went off. "SECURITY ALERT. SECURITY ALERT. SECTORS 9, 13, 5….

-What the hell is- GAAAAAAH!- Cyclops cried out in agony.

-What was that??- Jean cried out.

-He just took a bullet to the leg! They're suddenly flyin' straight at us though, like they can see us!- Colossus sounded a lil frantic.

-I'm ok! Gambit, Psylocke!-

-I'm goin' I'm goin'! You people are stressin' me out like you wouldn' believe!-

-Ah'm dead! Oh gawd oh gawd ah'm dead!-

-Chere!-

-Who here is not dead right now?!- Psylocke screamed in frusteration.

-Ah've been shot in the head!-

-How are you still talking then?-

-Ah don't know! Help me!-

Try to put yo'self in my situation. I was always a lone gunman, so ta speak, so if somet'ing went wrong, it was cause I slipped up. Now I got all dese people runnin' around screwin' up an' dey all screamin' at me, "Save us, Gambit! Save us!" It's kinda funny in retrospect….actually, no, it ain't.

Fin'ly, I found what I was lookin' fo. -De security systems are back on!-

-We realize this!-

-Gimme a second, fo' pity's sake! I cain't work like dis wit' you people!-

-GAMBIT!-

-Ok, de systems shut down program from de control room is only temporary. Dey got heat sensor artillery on in all security breached areas, dat's what's gettin' you all. De only way to shut it down permanently is manual. We c'n shut it off ag'in, but it's gonna blink on and off ev'ry twenty minutes.-

-Well then shut it off LeBeau! Before I have to bring Wolverine home in a JAR!-

-Done! De fire stopped. Whew.-

-Ah'm still bein' shot at!-

I looked back at de monitor screen. Rogue was flyin' round, frantically, an' blood was running down de left side o' her face.

-An ah still don't know where ah'm supposed to be goin!-

-Bobby, Storm, keep these boys busy! Colossus and I are coming in, Rogue! Bishop, what the status of Wolverine?-

-Well I got him off the fence. He's still looking a little crispy.-

-Watch it bub.-

-He'll be fine, just give us a minute.-

-All right, you two wait for him to recover, and then get in here.-

-Rogue!- Psylocke finally called triumphantly.

-WHAT??-

-I found the map! Do you see the pictures hanging on the wall?-

-Yeah, ah see them.-

-There should be one with an iris on it…-

-THERE'S LIKE 50 PICTURES IN HERE! How am ah supposed to find the one with the iris on it? What is this, Clue?-

-That's what you've gotta do! Now do it!-

-All RIGHT! After what seemed like forever, she finally found it.-

-Take it down!-

-It's latched to the wall or somethin'! It looks like there's some kind of electronic key.-

-Ok, just let me look through the system and see if there's anything…-

She was interrupted by Rogue rippin' a huge whole in de wall, instead.

-How neanderthol of you.-

-So what? Ah've got a button here. Ah'm still bein' shot at!-

-What does it look like?? Push the button!-

She did, an the shootin' stopped.

-Thanks, Psylocke.-

-Anytime. There were murder holes in the ceiling. You just closed them. But you're going to have a whole lot of angry security guards after you in a second, so you need to move along. The holding cells are on the bottom level, but you aren't there yet. There's two sub-levels. So you need to go to the far end of the room, and stand about 15 ft. from the left, while I try to figure out which security door it is.-

She followed the directions to a "T", except fo' one quick stop ta grab some tissues. She waited where Psylocke had told her to, dabbin' at her face.

-So you've got all the directions now, Psylocke?- Jean asked.

-Yeah, I've pretty much got the whole place mapped out.-

-Good, then you take over directions and our currently telepathic communications. I'm going in for backup, now that we're playing by ear. Gambit, since she's got it nailed down, I want you to get down and help Rogue, pronto. The rest are moving too slow, and she's about to have a real problem if those guards get to her.-

-I jus' have one question, Jean.-

-What?-

-What do you people do in a relatively LARGE compound?-

-Not ask stupid questions at a time like this. Bobby, I'll need you to cover me. Get ready for communications to shut down, temporarily.-

Pfft. No mo' voices in my tired lil' head. It's kinda weird, havin' ten different voices in dere. Like one doesn' get irritatin' enough, sometime. Didn' take long fo' Betsy to have everyt'ing up an runnin' a'gin though.

-Check in, everybody?-

-Cyclops, reading loud and clear.-

-Bishop, 5 by 5.-

-Wolverine here.-

-Colossus.-

-The ICEMAN! Still alive and unscathed! Boo-ya!-

-Jean Gray, still perfectly capable of tossing a semi at Iceman.-

-Rogue, and when you've got a second, ah really need ta talk to ya.-

-Gambit, tryin' ta get ta you, chere.-

-…….Storm?- Cyclops asked.

-Oh yeah, almost forgot. Hold on….hey Storm?-

-Yes?-

-Ok, just checking. Rogue, where are you? I don't have visual on you any more. Must be a separate monitoring facility somewhere.-

-Ah'm not exactly sure. The wall opened up, an' ah went through, but ah don't much like what ah'm seein' down here…-


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: PG-13 a little morbidity, but mostly a lot better about language and violence than the others.

Part 4: Top Ten Things That Shouldn't Happen on a Mission

Ah looked around, and ah knew ah was standin' in a place where bad things had happened. Ah coulda had mah eyes closed and sensed that. The whole feelin' of the room just set me on edge. It was like hearin' the last echo of a scream, like there was a monster hidden somewhere in that place. Medical supplies were everywhere. There was one large room in the middle, and several smaller compartments off to the side. The room ah was in was somethin' of a laboratory, but the instruments there were like nothing' ah'd ever seen.

-There are several doors in there leading to other areas, Rogue, so it's going to take me a minute to figure out which one you need. Gambit should be there shortly, and the others are on their way, but there's no guarantee they'll get there before the guards. So I'll try to be quick, but look around and see if you can't find something that might be useful.-

-All right…-

-Rogue, what are your injuries?- Cyclops asked.

-Got a bullet to the shoulder, and a pretty messy head wound, but ah'm still functional.- Actually, ah was startin' ta feel kinda sick. Not too much, but enough to know that ah wasn't operatin' on full strength. And that ah really didn' want ta go pokin' around in here.

Ah looked through the lab, and found what looked to be files on various "patients". There wasn't anything else out o' the ordinary in there, 'cept for those tools ah was talkin' about, but ah didn't have time ta worry about it. Ah needed to find out where ah was supposed to be. So ah wandered inta one o' the other compartments. Operatin' table, a bunch of health monitor stuff, latex gloves, some IV's and medicine bags. Ah found some bandages and tied mah shoulder up. There was a sink in the corner, an ah thought ah'd try ta clean up mah head real quick, but when ah got over there, ah noticed the inside was covered in runny, brown stains. Ah tried not ta gag on thinkin' what it was, and decided it'd have ta wait. Nothin' else.

There was a strange light shinin' through the doorway o' the next room. Ah pushed the door open, and went inside. Ah wasn't ready foah what was in there. There were pillars of green fluid set up all around, with tubes runnin' in and out. They were connected to little pink things inside, that looked like…

-Psylocke?…-

-Still working on it, Rogue. Find anything?-

-You could say that.-

She hesistated foah a minute. -What?-

-It looks like…..babies….little ones, that shouldn' be anywhere near born yet.-

Ah felt her push a little further inta mah head, ta see what was goin' on. Ah heard somethin' that sounded almost like static. Ah guess she was tryin' ta keep too many things runnin at once. She looked around foah a minute, and then ah felt her draw back out.

-Oh my god.-

-Ah gotta get outta here.-

-Wait a second, Rogue.-

-Ah'm not supposed to be doin' this, ah'm supposed ta find Kurt Wagner. This is makin' me sick.-

It wasn't really much of a lie, either. Ah walked outta that room an inta the next. Then ah wished ah'd stayed. Ah wished ah'd crawled inta one o' those tubes with them. The next room was lined with shelves, all around. And the shelves were crammed full of jars of formaldehyde, with pieces of what looked like meat inside, but ah knew better. Ah knew exactly what was in this room. A pair of glowing purple eyes stared out at me from one jar, floatin' in unendin' terror in their prison. Across the jar was a piece of masking tape, with words written indifferently: "Margaret Williams. O, 9/12/95. 15 years of age." And that's when ah couldn' take it anymore. Ah ran out o' that room and had an episode all over a very expensive lookin' microscope, just outta spite.

Ah felt hands pullin' mah hair back away from mah face.

"Come on now darlin'. No need fer that."

"Logan?" Ah turned around.

"Who else?"

"How in the blue blazes did you get here so fast?"

"I didn't need to wait fer directions. You left some bread crumbs fer me to follow, and a nice strong scent, too. That, and I'm just better than anyone else here. You should know that by now."

Then ah got a good look at his outfit. What had been a pristine leather suit was torn, tattered, and covered in blood. He watched me.

"Not all of this is mine, y'know. Don't worry, I'm fine. I can't really die, remember?"

"Just because you've got a regeneration factor doesn't mean it doesn't matter when you get hurt."

"Yer gonna turn me into a softie, talkin' like that. Come on, we've got some stuff to do, I've been told. I'm about ready to blow this joint."

-Psylocke, I'm with Rogue. You got the directions yet er what?-

-How in the hell did you?!- Cyclops responded.

-The tooth fairy owed me a favor. Does it matter right now, one-eye?-

-Oh shove it, please. I haven't given myself a migraine just so you guys can use my brain waves to continue the age old battle. Rogue, Wolverine, you've got a security clearance in the room to your left. The problem I've having is that the sub-level security clearances aren't accessible from this control room. Which probably means you guys are right in the money, but I don't know how to get you in.-

-I've got an idea.-

-Wolverine, I really doubt--

SNIKT. He thrust his claws into the door. Then withdrew quickly, clutching his hand. Barely even made a scratch.

-You done?-

-Well, I'm open to suggestions, if that's what ya mean.-

"Permittez-moi, mon ami."

Logan and ah turned around and there was Remy. Ah know the thought ah shoulda had at that moment. Somethin' like, "Gee, ah sure am glad he showed up just now," or "hope he knows how ta get through this door," but mah main concern just then was what in the hell mah hair was doin', and hopin' it didn't look too terrible.

"Y'know, Gambit, not everyone in the world has a French background."

"S'true enough, but den, not everyone has such polite upbringin' as you. Not even a 'bonjour'. I mus' admit, my feelings……dey hurt."

"Ce n'est pas le temps, mon ami, mais est-ce que tu sais comment ouvre le port?" (This is not the time, my friend, but do you know how to open the door?)

Logan looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Remy grinned from ear ta ear.

"You an' I, chere, we gonna have a talk later. But fo' now, de answer to yo' question is: Non, mais j'ai une bonne idée." He walked over to the door. (No, but I have a good idea.)

He knelt down, and felt along the seam between the wall and floor. Finally, his fingers slipped into a small crevice, and he smiled. He took out a long piece of wire, and what seemed ta me ta be several other odds and ends. He sat there a few minutes, a look of consternation on his face. One thing about Gambit, it's very rare that he ever looks truly serious. Even when we're on missions, or someone's had a break down, he's always got some turn o' phrase on the tip o' his tongue ta smooth things over. So it's very rare that he actually has ta concentrate on somethin'. Sadly enough, it kinda suits him.

At that moment, a question occurred ta me, and a good one too.

-Psylocke, if there's another monitoring facility somewhere, then is someone else monitoring us right now?-

Gambit and Wolverine paused ta ponder that one. They watched, and waited foah an answer.

-Psylocke?-

-I have absolutely no idea.-

"Gambit, hurry the hell up please."

"Yo' wish is my command, petit."

"Yer wish is about to be 'Get that adamantium outta my lung' if you don't get down to business and stop that sweet talkin', Gumbo." (Dis is de first time Wolvie ever called me "Gumbo". Yet anudder lovin'nickname. Some people.) (Remy, if ya don't start buttin' out of mah chapters, then I'm gonna give you a flyin lesson to remember.) (Sure t'ing, mon amour.)

"As temptin' as dat may be, you'll notice de chere had no complaints."

"Swamp rat!"

Just then, the door Remy was tryin' ta pick at opened up.

"Nice going, bub." Wolverine accorded grudgingly.

"Don' t'ank me. I didn' do it."

-In that case, nice timing Psylocke.-

-Um…….-

-You didn't open the door?-

-Nope.-

-So why is the door open?-

-I don't know.-

-You have suddenly become just a well of information, haventcha?-

-Dammit Wolverine, you don't know what I'm dealing with up here, ok?-

-No, I don't. I also don't know what I'm dealing with down here.-

-One of these days, Logan…-

-Field names, darlin'.-

Finally, ah chimed in. Ah know what these conversations turn into.

-Well, if you didn't let us in, Psylocke, and Gambit didn't pick the lock…-

-Den somebody else let us in. Probably in de uddah control room.-

-Why would they do that?-

-Beats me, but I don't like it one bit-… SNIKT.

-Wolverine….this is the part where we die, isn't it?-

-Usually. But don't get yer hopes up just yet.-

Wolverine walked in briskly, fists up and ready for anythin'. Gambit grabbed a few cards outta his pocket, and they started glowin' in his hand. Ah knew his power by then, ah just hadn't really seen him use it. Really it's kinda pretty before things start explodin' an' all. He held the cards up ta mah face, and ah backed away. Ah knew damned well ah didn' look anythin' like a million bucks just then. More like five dollars in quarters. But ah didn' move quick enough, really.

"You don' look so good, chere."

"Thanks for the chivalrous observation, Cajun. Ah'm aware."

"You sho' yo' up fo' dis?"

No. No ah wasn't.

"Course. Ah'm fine." As proof, ah lifted myself inta the air, and flew in ahead o' him. Turns out the next room was kinda small. Just a lil ol' room with no doors, or windows. Almost like we'd wandered into a security clearance closet with nothin' in it. Logan was sniffin' around, but ah didn't think it was doin' him much good. Remy followed in behind us, and walked around, holdin' his cards into corners ta try an figure somethin' out. But then, the security clearance door shut. Logan lunged at it and tried ta pry it open, but it was no good. Those doors closed without a seam. Then the room shook. The boys clung ta the walls, tryin' ta keep their balance. Ah was flyin' close ta the ceilin', and so ah got slammed into it, and then fell. Ah have all the luck.

"Ouch." They had the courtesy not ta comment. Ah stood back up, and a few seconds later, it stopped. The doors opened back up. But the room on the other side wasn't the one we had come out of. It was one long hallway, lined with what appeared to be green glass.

"We're being led." Wolverine stated.

"Ah know. Ah'm bettin' on a trap."

"How much?" Gambit grinned at me.

"Sugah, ah swear you just don't know when ta quit."

"Quiet, I smell somethin." Wolverine drew in quick, sharp breaths, and looked around. Sometimes ah wish ah could see the world like he does. Now wasn't one o' them times. The things ah had seen, the darkness all around me, and the fact that ah knew someone was toyin' with us and we were just walkin' straight in and hopin' foah the best had my skin crawlin'. Ah felt like ah was in a cheap horror movie.

-Cyclops, we need backup, you guys have gotta start movin'.-

-We're going as fast as we can, Wolverine, most of us are injured.-

-So are we. The kid's been hit pretty hard, slowing up now but she was bleeding pretty badly.-

-Ah can hear you, Logan, and ah ain't--

-Save it, there's no use trying to fool me, darlin'.-

-We're on our way, moving as fast as we can. Bishop, Storm, and Iceman are still outside, drawing most of the crowds so this shouldn't be too difficult. Jean's with us. Just keep it up a little longer. Out.-

"Keep yer eyes open, kiddos. There's someone else here." Wolverine finally addressed us verbally. Ah glared at him foah tellin' Cyclops. He ignored me.

"You got any idea who dis is, homme?"

"Not yet. Let's just focus on finding them before they find us."

"I am not hiding." We all froze as a silhouette rounded the corner. Wolverine's eyes narrowed and he looked right at me with the strangest expression ah'd ever seen. It kinda scared me actually, but ah didn't know what was goin' on.

"Well den, come on over here so we can see ya, mon ami. Real nice an' slow like." Gambit raised the cards above his head dangerously. A strangely familiar laugh resounded towards us down the hall.

"Dear boy, you obviously have no idea who you are dealing with. Fortunately, I have no business with you today, so you can remain in your ignorant bliss. But if you continue your present company you will learn the proper respect soon enough. At this moment, I am as curious as you must be."

That voice. Ah knew that voice. But it couldn't be! Wolverine growled beside me.

"I'm not buying that."

"I wouldn't expect you to, Wolverine. Your bloodlust overwhelms all rational thought. However…" SNIKT. "We've danced before, haven't we bub?" A perfect likeness of Logan's voice.

"Momma?"

"Daughter." There was a big awkward moment just here, where ah was beyond shock, Remy was utterly confused, and as much as I hated it, Logan was questioning whether or not ah had a hand in all this.

"Irene and I have been worried sick about you, terrified as to what might have happened, ever since you disappeared. We searched everywhere for you, and had all but given up hope, as I unexpectedly find you tonight, when it was furthest from my mind. I would never have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. My daughter, fighting on the right hand of the enemy. I would not have expected treason of you. In fact, I thought surely Xavier must have abused your mind, but it seems this is not so, as you have addressed me tonight with full recognition of who I am. Why, my daughter? Where did I fail you?"

"You didn't Momma, ah didn't mean to worry you so much. You were a wonderful momma, much more so than the one ah was born to. And ah am still grateful for all you've done foah me."

"Then why?"

"This really isn't the time fer this."

"It is not under your judgment to deem so! I will hear her! Confess!"

Ah hadn't expected this. Ah knew ah was tryin' ta be loyal to the X-men, and that's where ah wanted to stay, but she was still the only mother ah had ever known, and mah political standpoint was in total disarray. Now here ah was, in the bowels of some terrible compound, bleedin' from the head, and ah was gonna have to make up mah mind, one way or the other. Not only this, but ah really didn't want ta cry in front of Remy and Logan. Ah mean really. But it looked like that was exactly what was going ta happen. Why couldn't ah have gotten air patrol with Bobby and 'Ro? Ah didn't mind cryin' in front of them so much.

"Ah needed help that you couldn't give me. Ah had ta go. Ah woulda died!"

"You can't get something for nothing, my child. And what have you given in return for this help?"

"Ah agreed to fight with the X-men."

"So you gave him your loyalty, and compromised your ties to us, to your cause!? What is being alive if you have no soul? Do you not remember the suffering you went through at the hands of the humans? And the protection that came from the Brotherhood? And now you have endorsed the murder and suffering of thousands of others by joining that miscreant, determined to protect them! Not only this, but will you now fight against me, your mother? I loved you, Rogue! There may never be another who can understand you, who can love you as I did! Was it worth your life to throw that away? Do you believe they can ever care for you as we did? Even now my very presence casts their suspicions on you!! You are a slave to them now!"

"Ah'm sorry Momma. Ah-ah never meant ta disappoint you." Ah was chokin' up, and you could hear it plain as day. Ah wasn't quite ready ta let it go yet. But fortunately, she softened on me.

"My dear child, I know your pain. I understand how you have suffered. You have always had a good and noble heart, but even the strongest must falter when their burdens become too difficult to bear. I will forgive you. You need only to ask. I will not let them bring further pain upon you."

"THEM? Momma, you don't even realize, do ya?"

-What in the sam hell is going on down there? Have you found Kurt yet?-

-We're having kind of a situation.-

-You don't have time for a situation.-

"Rogue, we really don't have time fer this. We can't stay here. We need to find Kurt and get out of here."

"What is your business with Kurt?"

"You know him?"

"I have come to free him."

"So have we, incidentally."

"You all stay out of this! This is not your business!"

"Momma? Who is Kurt? You never told me about him."

"That is because he is remnant of a life that no longer exists. There was no need for you to know."

"Well, why can't we help you?"

"Because I am not in the habit of consorting with my enemies for aid. And I do not need your help. I had already seized control of the auxiliary control room and was searching for the cell release files when I noticed on the camera you three following my path with far less grace and much more noise."

"So you were the one controlling the doors."

"Of course. Now if you will excuse me."

"Momma, please. We can help you."

"I would have expected you to volunteer, but I think it would be wise that you consult with the rest of your….team….before volunteering their services as well. Now that you all have made such a mess of things, I just may need extra man power to get back out."

Ah was afraid ta even look at them. This is just what they had been waiting foah. Their eyes were burnin' inta mah back, but ah just couldn't ask them.

"We're doin' the mission we were sent to do regardless of what Mystique here has to say about it. As long as she ain't trying to stand in the way, then we can just carry on. But let's set this straight, we ain't helping ya. We woulda done this with or without yer say so. It just so happens that this once, we're all trying to accomplish the same thing."

"I would much prefer that to be the case."

Logan stared at me, long and hard. Ah swallowed, and tried to imagine what it would be like to be on the receivin' end o' those claws, instead of havin' them on yoah side. Then ah realized that this was mah friend, lookin' at me like that. One o' mah only friends. Maybe not anymore. If they really believed ah had brought Mystique here….

"Logan, ah….ah know what this looks like….b-but…." Ah hate it when yoah tryin' ta say somethin' when yoah upset. Ah had ta tell him that ah didn't do this. Ah had ta make him believe me. But if ah tried to say even one more word ah was gonna lose it. So ah just sat there, lookin' at him like the most pitiful creature you've ever seen, and he just kept watchin' me, thinkin'. Finally, Remy came over, and put an arm around me.

"Come on, petit. Dere will be time fo' dis later. Fo' now, you jus' stay wit' me and we gonna get through dis mission. 'S almos' over. Jus' gotta keep goin'."

We started down the hall, while Momma and Logan watched Remy, and then followed behind. Ah concentrated on collectin' mahself, and stayin' focused on what ah needed ta do. When we had gone a little ways, and he thought no one else was listenin', Remy leaned over and breathed inta mah ear,

"I don' believe you had anyt'ing ta do wit' dis, Rogue." Ah had two distinct reactions. One, ah felt comforted, knowin' at least somebody here was on mah side, and ah was able to pull it together after that. The other was chills all the way up and down mah spine, him whisperin' in mah ear like that when ah least expected it. Ah was really startin' ta hate the effect he had on me.

Finally, we reached the auxiliary control room, where "Operation Failed" and "Password Invalid" messages were blinkin' violently on every screen.

"The programming on this system is much more complicated than the other. The security systems are highly advanced. It has taken me hours to reach even this point, and it will still take me quite some time to complete. I tell you this because I am perfectly aware of Scott's incapacity for patience. You'll just have to ignore him."

"Or, we could do it de quick way an' not have to worry 'bout dat."

"Do you truly believe that you are more competent to…"

"Oui." He plopped down into the chair, and ignored Mystique completely. She would've turned red, probably, if she wasn't blue. He tuned the rest of us out, and set to work. One by one, the warnings started to disappear. Mystique raised an eyebrow.

"It seems that insolence becomes you."

"Does indeed." Gambit grinned at her, and the faintest hint of a smile played on her lips.

"Momma?"

"What is it, child?"

"Who is Kurt?"

"We had discussed this."

"Yes, and you said you never told me because ah didn't need ta know. Well, ah think that considerin' ah'm here to rescue him, that maybe it's time that ah knew."

"Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Because it matters ta you. You said he was part of a life you'd left behind. Was he your boyfriend, or somethin' like that?"

She drew a deep breath. Logan watched the exchange sharply.

"Kurt is the son of my husband. The son that I gave birth to."

"HE'S YOUR SON?!" This day was determined ta drive me insane. She answered me with venom.

"NO! He is not my son! I will not be tied to him as such!"

"But you said…"

"Yes, I gave him life. And the day he was brought into the world is the day that life died! That was the day his father realized the nature of the woman he had married, by the nature of his son."

"But he is still yours as well!"

"No! You do not understand! You cannot!"

"Well ah think it's high time you explained it ta me!"

"Understand this. I believed that I…" she spat the next words out like poison. "..loved Kurt's father. And no matter what he did to me, I loved him. And he knew that. It was not until after I had left that I realized the futility and waste of all those years, loving a man like that. A man who must abuse and control all those around him, the naivety of believing in the destiny of romance. One kind word from him could make me forget all the cuts and bruises. Then I gave birth to Kurt, an act which nearly killed me. The weakness disallowed me to maintain the beautiful form I had kept. And Kurt's mutation was evident from the first. His father then took a course of action that at last made it impossible to believe in the depth of the love he professed…."

"I found it! I got de file!"

"All right, give us a minute to get out there, and then turn 'em loose. Rogue, with me."

Ah was reluctant ta leave without hearin' the end of this story. Ah don't know why it was so important all the sudden, but ah begin ta understand later. We walked back into the hallway lined with green glass. Ah was struck by the length of the place. After about a minute, a portion of it slid open. Wolverine's claws came out, and he approached cautiously. Ah flew up, and followed him overhead. As ah rounded the corner, ah heard whispers rising softly from the corner.

"Blessed are za peacemakers, for zey shall be called "son's of Gott". Blessed are zose who are persecuted in my name, for zere's is ze kingdom of heaven…."

Ah knew the verse. Wolverine just stared in, contemplatin' whether ta make our presence known or charge in. Ah was filled with a deep sense of pity, listenin' ta him pray. Wonderin' if there was anybody listenin'. Ah landed back down beside Logan, and started walkin' in.

"Kurt? Is that you sugah?" Yellow eyes opened wide and looked at me. Ah must admit, from the shadows in the corner yellow eyes have quite an eerie effect. Ah was afraid foah a second, but then he closed them again.

"I vill never leave, nor forsake you." Those are powerful words.

"Ah'm not gonna hurt you. Can ah come over there?" The eyes opened again.

"I have not ze power to deny you anyzing." Ah walked over to him, and wished ah could see him better. The cells were velvety black, much darker than the rest of the place. Ah walked over and knelt beside him on the floor. Logan was, as always, keepin' an eye on everything. His guard was goin' down just a little, but the claws were still out. Kurt wouldn't look at me.

"Hello, Kurt. Mah name is Rogue." He said nothin', and still wouldn't bring his eyes ta mine.

"We've come to get you outta here."

"And to take me where?"

"Well, New York first, ta have you seen to, and then wherever you'd like ta go, ah reckon."

"I know ze meaning of 'being seen to'."

"It's not like that. Sugah, we're not here ta hurt you. We're not with these people."

"Zen who are you? No one has ze power to save us from zis place. We know zat now."

"Well then you obviously have never heard of us." Wolverine walked in, and put his claws in front of Kurt's face. Ah heard his breath draw in sharply, and then with a SNIKT, he retracted them into his fists.

"My Gott…."

"We don't really have time for a whole lot of questions, bub. You comin' or ain'tcha?"

Finally, he looked at me. Probably just so that he wouldn't have ta look at Wolverine, who rarely makes a valid first impression, if y'all notice. And ah wasn't scared of those eyes this time. As a matter of fact, he was the one who looked scared.

"Don't be afraid, all right? Yoah safe now, with us. Yoah gonna be just fine. Whatever they've done to ya here…..it's all over now. Ya just gotta trust me."

He just kept lookin' at me all pitiful like. Ah put one hand gently on his shoulder, an tried to smile reassuringly at him.

"I have prayed, all zese years, zat Gott would see fit to send an angel to vatch over me."

"Well sugah, they're on vacation. Yoah just gonna have ta settle foah me." Ah offered him a gloved hand, he extended his, but then withdrew it.

"Rogue, just grab the guy."

"Vait."

"What is it?"

"Ze others. Ze children. Can you save zem?"

"We really don't…"

"I vill not go until all that can be are saved."

"Just grab him, Rogue, I'm tellin' ya."

"Where are they?"

"In ze other cells. If you can get mine open, can you not open ze others?"

"Fine, I'll grab him."

"Logan, we can't just leave them here. What makes him worth all this trouble but not the others? We can't let them suffer here. Ah can't even imagine what they go through."

He looked from one ta the other of us.

"Kid, if we live through this, you owe me a month's supply of beef jerky."

"Done deal."

-Gambit, can you open the other cells?-

-Easy as dat, but I don' know what's gonna come out of dem. We gonna take dem all?-

-Looks like it.-

-Are dey gonna fit in de jet?-

-They'll have to.-

-You do know dat dere's at least fifty cells along de…-

-Yeah, I know. Just open them up.-

-Alors, it's a sad sad day when de t'ief is de voice o' reason.-

-Cyclops, get ready to get agitated.-

-What's going on now, Wolverine?-

-I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Just wait till we get up there.-

-Wolverine I swear--

-Not as often as I do, but I'll have you know that for once this wasn't my fault.-


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5: Some People

-Gambit, could we get some lights in this hallway for cryin' out loud? Ah cain't see a thing.-

-You know, yo' de first person who t'ought o' dat. Lemme see here…-

De files down here were a little mo' extravagant, but ev'rybody knows how I love a challenge. O' course, lights weren't dat hard ta find. On dey went, an' den I could see t'ings on de monitors agin. Dere was de belle, dere was de brute, and now slowly out came anuddah. A dark figure slunk behind Rogue, keepin' close ta her, an as soon as we got a clear view, I heard dis Mystique stop breathin'.

"Dat mus' be him den. Well, I c'n certainly see where he gets his blue from."

"Do not speak that of which you know nothing."

"I see. So yo' one o' dem superiority complex femmes, huh?"

"That is not for you to decide. I am a 'femme', as you say, who requires others to mind their own business."

"You know, I never said de blue was a bad t'ing. Don' need ta get all defensive."

She didn' answer me, jus' kept watchin' de screen. I looked too. Can' help but be interested in Kurt de first time you see him. I liked de tail. He always did have a nice tail. 'S what makes his whole look work. A la my trench coat. 'S de perfect accessory. Wit'out dat, you jus' got anuddah Blue Kid on de Block.

-You got these doors open yet er what, Gumbo?-

-I'm workin' on it. Can' rush a fine art. All dese doors, dey ain't all in de same file. Dey're spread out, an' dey all have dere own locations. Jus' gimme a lil time.-

-I would if I had some.-

-You don' know it yet, Wolvie, but you an' me, we gonna be great friends.-

-Says you.-

-Gambit, this is Psylocke…-

-I could never mistake you fo' anybody else.-

-What's the story down there?- No rebuke. None at all. Hmmm….

-Well, generally speakin', I liked it a whole lot better when me an' you was sharin' a control room. Mine's jus' lackin' dat feminine touch.-

-You're incorrigible, Cajun.-

-But yo' startin' ta like it, I t'ink. We've got Kurt, an' we've got jus' a few mo' t'ings ta wrap up fo' we regroup.-

-Well hurry it up, keep in touch, and Gambit?-

-Qu'est-ce que c'est? (What is it?)-

-Be careful down there.-

N'ai jamais peur. (Never fear) Suddenly, I felt quite refreshed. (An' Rogue's sittin' here jus' glarin' at me. Like the fact that I ever had any feelin's fo' anybody but her means I cheated. Cain't win sometime. But I got ta be true ta da story.)

"Why do you smile?" Mystique asked. It occurred ta me dat she had no idea we were all communicatin' on mind, so ta speak.

"Mind yo' own business." I turned an' grinned at her. She looked like she didn' know whether she should be amused or offended. Good. Fo' all her pomp and circumstance, it seems ta me dat I c'n always get her right where I want her. I turned back around and got back ta de cell openin'. T'anks to dis an' all de uddah missions wit' de X-men, I t'ink I'm gonna have de worst case o' art'ritis de world has ever seen. Unless o' course, I give up hackin' an' find some uddah use fo' my hands. De possibilities are endless. Anyway, ta avoid de distraction o' de narrator, I did finally get all de cells opened up, an' all de lil mutants came scamperin' out. An' surprisingly enough, except fo' a few adults or teenagers here an' dere, most o' the inmates turned out ta be quite small. Most of dem were children, a few of dem toddlin' out. As I watched on de screen, I started ta lose my sense o' humor. All de t'ings I had seen here gave me some idea as ta what dis place was fo', but de fact dat dey were doin' dis to a bunch o' little ones…it was extremely soberin'. As a matter of fact, it was startin' ta make me real mad, t'inkin' about what sort of people did dese kinds o' t'ings. I knew a man like dat once, an' to dis day I don' care much fo' rememberin' him.

"Mystique, you c'n operate de doors, so you gonna be in charge o' dis. I'm goin' out dere."

"Very well." She was gon' be fine wit' whatever I asked o' her, as long as it wasn't her goin' out dere ta face Kurt. I couldn' help but wonder how long she had let her own son stay in here. An' den she had de nerve ta call Rogue a bad daughter. Kinda cleaned out my capacity fo' sympathy. I turned an' walked out, determined dat if I didn' have somet'ing nice ta say, den I jus' wasn' gonna say any'ting. I went out inta da hallway, an nearly tripped over a boy dat didn' look a day over six. He looked up at me all round eyed. He had a face jus' like dem cherubs in all de paintings, but den had purple scales startin' at his neck and den travellin' all de way down ta his wrists and ankles. Almos' like a walkin' oxymoron.

"An what's yo' name, homme?" He jus' looked up at me. I tried ta smile at him.

"You ain't gotta be afraid of ol' Gambit." He looked at me fo' one more second, an' den pulled somet'ing from around his neck. He looked closely at it, an' den said,

"G….1….4…3…1…6…7…6….5."

"What's dat?"

"That'sssssss my number." A forked tongue flitted out from between his teeth as he talked, causin' him ta linger on the "s".

"But I asked fo' yo' name, little one." He looked back up at me, confused, an' den started again.

"G….1….4….3…." De man I had identified as Kurt came over.

"He vas born here. Ve only have numbers, for it makes it easier for our captors to pretend zat ve are not human. Only Gott knows zese children's names."

I squared my jaw off, an' looked back down at G14316765. He looked up at me like he was waitin' fo' me ta say somet'ing else. I picked him up as gently as I could.

"Well, petit homme, Gambit's gon' have a hard time keepin' up wit dat one. We gon' have ta come up wit' a nickname fo' ya. You got any ideas?" He looked suspicious of me, like he wasn't sure what I was tryin' ta do.

"What about Gambit?"

I couldn' help but laugh. "You got style, little one, but I don' wanna lose the franchise. Why don' we just go wit' my favorite winnin' card and call you Jack?"

He t'ought about it. "Jack….I like Jack."

"Den Jack it is. Now Jack, we gon' try ta get all you out o' here, an 's a big job, so do you t'ink you c'n give a fella a hand?"

"Where are you taking ussssss?"

"Some place dat I t'ink you'll like."

"Sssssssure." I set him back down an took hold o' his hand. De uddah's were all lookin' around wide-eyed, an' mos' o' de uddah children were hangin' around Rogue, who was lookin' carefully over each one, an' tryin' ta smile wit' tears in her eyes. But Logan, he was standin' in a corner, pale as a sheet, an' I couldn' help but wonder. You understand Logan. I had already gotten a fairly good impression o' him, an' cowerin' in front o' children was nowhere in it. But den I saw he wasn't lookin' at dem, really. He was lookin' at de tags. Each child had a tag wit' dere number around dere neck. A hand went ta his chest, an' I saw dat he had somet'ing similar. He was jus' froze den, starin' off inta space. I walked over ta him.

"Wolverine, what should we-…"

"We have ta get them out of here. We can't leave even one. Not even one!"

Rogue looked back over her shoulder at his tone. His look was wild, like some kind o' trapped animal. Sweat was startin' ta pour down his face. She stood up from where she had been kneeling, her eyebrows knit wit' concern. She has a tendency ta look real gentle when she's concerned. Very disarming. An' tres belle.

"Logan, are you all right?"

He didn't answer her, he just held tightly to the tag around his neck. I was startin' ta t'ink dat dere must be much more ta dis homme den I had at first suspected. But den, seem like most o' de people I run wit' have some dark, forbiddin' past. Myself included. But most of ours are just filled wit' regret, or a little legal interpretation here an' dere, but de t'ing about Logan is dat dere is no dark, forbiddin' past, cause dere ain't no past. Jus' flashin' memories of horror wit' no explanation, no answers. De man can never find peace. Now dat I c'n sympathize wit'. Course I didn' know any'ting about it yet, so I jus' stood dere, an' watched Rogue, who seemed ta have some idea about what she's supposed ta be doin'.

She walked toward him slowly, no sudden movements. Lil' Jack was jus' hangin' onto my hand, an' watchin'. She put a hand up ta his face, ever so gently, an' talked ta him.

"Sugah, ah cain't imagine what must be goin' through your head right now. But if there's somethin' there that wasn't befoah, then it's a good thing. We'll talk to the Professor and Jean and they'll have more answers foah you, ah promise."

"Jean…" He said, almos' dazed like.

"Yeah, Jean. Red hair, green eyes, smiles a lot? She always takes care o' you. She's on her way to us right now. But we need yoah help. Ah know it's hard. This night hasn't been mah cup o' tea either, but we gotta hold it together foah just a little longer, all right? Ah'm right here, and ah'm gonna make sure yoah all right. But ah'm also not gonna let you embarrass yoahself, cause you get real grumpy when that happens." She smiled disarmingly at him, an' I watched some o' de tension drain out o' his shoulders.

"Come on now, honey. Ah need ya. All ya gotta do is stay with me." Logan took a breath, and nodded. He started comin' back ta life a little. I felt little fingers tap my arm. I looked down, an' Jack crooked a finger ta make me come closer. I leaned down, and he whispered in my ear.

"Ssssssshe'sssss pretty." He immediately looked embarrassed.

"Yeah, garcon, she is. Doesn' take long ta notice dat." Kurt stepped up on de uddah side o' me.

"She must be von of Gott's angels. She just doesn't know it yet."

Finally, she turned her attention away from Logan and back ta de rest o' us.

"All right, Wolverine and ah are goin' ta lead the way. Gambit, ah need you ta keep them together, and watch our backs. Can ya do it?"

"I c'n do anyt'ing you ask o' me at dis moment, chere." So we'd jus' had a change in leadership, I see. Fine by me. She's cute when she's serious. She turned ta Kurt.

"Can ya help him?"

"Vill you need my help, fraulein?"

"Ah'll need all the help ah can get, if yoah willing."

"Zen you need only to ask."

-All right Cyclops, we're headin' yoah way.-

-We've been trying to get to you guys, but Psylocke can't access the lower level security doors, and Gambit isn't letting us in from the auxiliary control room. He's not responding.-

-That's cause he's not in the auxiliary control room.- Yeah, I had been avoidin' Cyclops. I didn' know what I supposed ta say. Apparently Mystique had let her "daughter" in, but wasn't so inclined to favor de rest o' de X-men.

-Well where the--

-He's with me, and we're comin' that way, so can we discuss this at a more opportune moment?-

-Sorry to interrupt, but may I say something?-

-What is it, Psylocke?-

-Ok, you guys can't get out of the office/murder hole area, because I don't have access to the doors. But the security guards that were after Rogue got into the lab area, mysteriously, but apparently couldn't get any further. Rogue, Wolverine and Gambit are in the holding area on the other side. So you've got twenty-odd armed personnel in between you guys. Not only is that funny, but you've got another wave coming behind you, Cyclops. Maybe a game plan is in order before we have our little rendez-vous?-

-Was dat French? French I heard over de telepath? From someone uddah den Remy? My heart is touched.-

-SHUT UP Gambit. Get off the line.-

-Was dat Jean Gray? Cause you have not been very sweet ta me today.-

-Can it. All right, if we open the security doors to the lab, then my group is gonna get sandwiched. I'm not in the mood to risk that. Wolverine, what's the capability of your group?-

-We're fine, ah'm the only one who's injured at all at this point.-

-Where's Logan?-

-Indisposed at the moment, ah'm just takin' up the slack. Who all do you have with you? Ah missed the whole regroup thing that happened while ah was bein' shot at earlier.-

-Bishop, Storm, and Iceman are all still out on the grounds. I've got Jean and Colossus. I'm the only one with any injuries.-

-Well then ah guess you and ah get ta sit together on the way back. Ok, we'll take the lab crew, you just watch yoah backs. We'll get to ya as soon as we can. Y'all be careful.-

-You too.-

"Wolverine, Gambit, we're gonna change the plans a little. First, we're gonna go kick some ass. Then we're gonna come back and save the day. Any questions?"

"When do I get ta kiss de girl?" She looked at me strangely.

"Do me a favor, Cajun. Don't say things like that when ah'm tryin' ta do somethin' important."

"D'accord."

"Vat vill you have me do?"

"Watch out foah the kids until we get back. Logan, you comin' or stayin'?"

"What kinda question is that?"

"Glad ta see yoah feelin' better. Come on boys, we've got work ta do." She looked up an' found the camera. She waved a signal an' went over ta de door. I guess Mystique got de picture, cause a few seconds later, it opened. We walked inside what we all understood now ta be an elevator, an' Rogue smiled reassuringly at Kurt before de doors closed on us ag'in, an' we were left in darkness.

"You ever been bowlin', Gambit?"

"Dat's an interestin' question fo' dis exact moment."

"Well, ah was just thinkin' how they're gonna be right on the other side when these doors open…"

"I love that trick." Wolverine said, a trace o' his biting sense o' humor returnin'. He grabbed a hold o' my jacket lapels, which didn' please me none.

"Don' man-handle a Cajun boy, Wolverine."

"Get against the wall and try not ta sass me anymore tonight, gumbo. You'll thank me later. She needs some space."

So as to avoid further unpleasantries, I jus' brushed him off an' silently planned ta get a neutering appointment fo' him come Monday. As the elevator shuddered to a halt, Rogue lifted herself into de air, layin' horizontal, wit' her hands crossed over her chest. Looked like she was layin' in a coffin in mid air. Me an' Logan jus' sat still. When de doors reopened, dere were our complimentary twenty guards on de uddah side, not ten feet from us. Dey started ta rush at us, but Rogue started spinning at a speed dat made her look like a blur. One long, floating, an' very shapely blur. I didn' even have time ta fully appreciate de moment fo' she spun right out o' dere and knocked everyone close enough across de room wit' dose super strength powers she's got. My jaw jus' dropped. Wolverine started chucklin', and said ag'in,

"I love that trick." SNIKT. An' den he rushed out inta de fray, since Rogue had left us a nice openin'. Much as I like ta watch dat man at his work, I had some uddah plans. Dey don' call dis ol' boy Gambit fo' not'ing. Cards came out, an' den my hand went behind my back. I walked out slowly, like I was takin' a walk down de street. Half o' success is jus' presentation, n'est pas? At dis pace, it didn' take me long ta get surrounded.

"Hold it, freak!" Dey poined dere lil weapons at me. Isn't dat jus' cute?

"Hold what?"

"Hands above your head if you don't want 200 rounds of lead in your brain, and don't make the fatal mistake of trying my patience."

I sighed. "Well, if dat's really what you want…." I lifted my hands, loaded wit' glowin' cards.

"Wuhhh?"

"Well dat's gonna make a nice epitaph, mon ami." An' den I released dem. I hummed a brief chorus o' "Where have all de flowers gone?" as a salute befo' I went on 'bout my business. Bout den I heard anuddah howl from Wolvie. I rushed over dere, but Rogue got dere first, much as dat wounded my pride. But den, she was nice ta watch. Unfortunately, a lil too nice. She's a big leg fighter, mos'ly. I've always considered myself a legs' man. Girl could move. Yes she could. How long had it been since ol' Remy had a smoke anyway? Well, as I was sittin' dere, I guess I got de drop from behind, cause suddenly, I felt a sharp, vibratin' pain all de way down my right side. I couldn' help but cry out, partially from surprise, an' partially cause dat hurt. Next t'ing I knew, I was soarin' t'rough de air, an' I thought to myself dat dis had been a really stupid endin' to Remy LeBeau. I had always expected somet'in….je ne sais pas (I don't know)…a lil more dramatic. Den a sweet lil voice snapped me back inta reality.

"Danged if y'all ain't gonna be the death of me yet! Stronger sex indeed!"

"Was dat a request or an offer?"

"Ah would kill you, Remy LeBeau, if ah didn' have anythin' better ta do right now."

"I could t'ink o' worse ways ta die."

"So could ah, swamp rat. But since yoah recovering so quickly…" An' den she dropped me. Ah landed wit' a very unbecomin' thud.

"You brought dis on yo'self, Gambit, an' you know it." I said ta myself 'fo I got up ta face my rivals ag'in.

"Whichever one o' you tazed me, hommes, owes me money. BIG money." Dey charged 'fo I could get ta my pockets, so I jus' had ta make do. Not ta be immodest, but I'm really pretty good at dat. 'Sides, I'd been needin' a good work out. I set up my mental boundaries, an' den I watched to see who would break it first. De man to my front. How very easy. Dat identified, I swung myself down an' did a very well timed front hand spring, an' as I swung my bottom half back around I connected wit' de homme's face, bringin' him down an' landin' on him full force. No sooner dan I had regained my balance dan I swung my elbow back an' felt de unfortunate snap of an ill-fated nose. Brought my fist fo'ward ag'in an' knocked somebody over wit' de force o' dat blow. Den I turned as quick as a could an' caught de fist dat had been meant fo' my pretty lil' skull.

"Not much honor in hittin' a man from behind, mon ami. But den, I guess if yo' afraid ta face him…" I punched him in de stomach an' he doubled over. I brought my knee up sharp an' de man went over backwards. Damn I'm good. I gave de next one a drop kick. Dangerous move, but den, who do you t'ink dis is? I swung myself back up in record breakin' time. Impressed? Me too. Once I had my feet I went back to business. Unfortunately, none o' us knew about what was goin' on upstairs, and dey were havin' an interestin' time up dere.

From what I gather, dey were up in de office like t'ing and Jean was basically hidin' in de cubicles an' t'rowin' t'ings wit' her mind, while Cyclops tried ta back Colossus up. Cyclops was blastin' away an' didn' see de blow comin' from behind. De timin' was jus' unlucky. He had jus' opened up anuddah round when de blow fell, and diverted his gaze to de floor, which collapsed once hit wit' a full strength optic blast. I didn' see any o' dis. I was downstairs feelin' like Chicken Little. I had jus' gotten a second ta look around an' see what had become o' mes companions when de ceiling caved in on de pretty one.

"ROGUE!" I tried ta get over dere as quick as I could, but someone grabbed me by de scruff o' de neck. I turned around ta deck 'em, but my fist got caught, an' to my surprise, it turned out ta be Wolverine.

"Might wanna give her a minute, bub." I opened my mouth ta teach him some o' de artful language I learned in de t'ieves guild when I heard a rumblin' come from under de rubble. Finally I see her come blastin' outta dere, green eyes shootin' daggars every which way.

"All RIGHT! THAT'S IT! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET IT!"

"Someone call CNN." I said under my breath.

"More like someone call SCI-FI." Wolverine quipped. She flew up through de hole, an' from dat moment on seemed like she was everywhere. Turned inta de angel o' death. Didn' take to long to finish up after dat. Actually, as it turns out, we were all pretty grateful for de hole in de ceiling, cause dat meant we didn' have ta worry wit dose security clearance doors when we went back to get les enfants. It seemed like after de last battle, whatever security as was left lost it's nerve, cause we didn' see too many more o' dem. De next difficult t'ing was de conversation between Rogue an' Cyclops. I t'ought she was pretty brave. When we were done wit' what needed to be done, she walked up to him, squared her shoulders off, an' opened up bluntly.

"Mystique is here."

"What?!"

She took a breath, an' said it ag'in. "Mystique is here. She's been controlling the auxiliary control room foah us."

"Is this a confession Rogue?"

"You know ah wonder if it even matters what ah say at this point. Maybe ah could convince ya that ah had nothing ta do with this, but no matter what ah do or how hard ah try, that's the first possibility that comes ta mind, isn't it?"

"Considering our past histories, I find it a little interesting that Mystique shows up on a mission where we've already been pushed to the very limit of our resources, a top secret mission no less, and decides to help us. I find that very suspicious indeed. And I find you very suspicious also if you must know."

"Maybe ah should know, Cyclops. Maybe ah should know what my leader, the man ah've been riskin' mah life foah really thinks of me."

"I believe you came here because you needed help. That much I think is true. But once you've gotten what it is you came for, then what? Back to the Brotherhood? And what all will you take with you?"

"Then why do you let me come on the missions?"

"Because we need you. I've never seen a mutant with powers quite like yours."

"Well dammit Scott you cain't have it both ways! You cain't need me and keep me at arms length. All o' you! Ah am not a pawn."

"Answer the question then. Lets just say that right now you got control of your powers, control of your mind, what would you do? What exactly do you believe in?"

"You wanna know the truth Scott?"

"Preferably."

"Fine. Ah don't think ah can go home. Ah don't know that they can forgive me foah what ah've done ta them, and ah don't think ah can forgive them foah what they've done to me. Ah don't know what ah believe in. But ah don't believe in usin' people. That said, ah wouldn't stay here with any o' you either! Yoah not that different, really, from the people you hate sometimes. You both tend to forget that just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they're not a human being. All o' you sit around bitchin' that you cain't trust me, well ah cain't trust any o' you, either. Ah'm terrified ta know yoah watchin' mah back cause half o' you are just as eager ta put a knife in it. So there's yoah answer Scott. Ah'd rather be alone than with ANY o' ya, Brotherhood or X-men!"

Scott didn' have a ready comeback fo' dat one. Neither did anybody else. 'Cept one.

"What a tragic picture you paint, Rogue." Mystique said as she emerged through the hole in the floor.

"And so the truth finally comes out. Just what I didn't want to believe about you. You are, in fact, a traitor. A detriment to the cause. A daughter of mine."

"Ah ain't yoah daughter. Ah've had a lot o' time ta think about a lot o' things, and what a mother should be, and you ain't it."

Mystique wasn' used ta Rogue reactin' this way. She figured she'd get quiet an' confused an' den cry. She'd always been able ta make her cry an' obey. But looked ta Gambit like de femme had figured some t'ings out.

"What are you saying? What have I done to deserve this? Did I not give you a place to stay? A family?"

"More the one than the other. You found me sleepin' on a park bench and prayin' ta die. And you know what? You woulda kept on walkin' except foah that you figured out ah was a mutant. That ah had potential."

"You do not realize what a gift that really is. How many people cry out for help and in truth can be no more than what they already are. In you there is so much more than what you have become!"

"And what have ah become? You want the truth from me? Ah'm tired of hatin' people. Of believin' people deserve ta die or that ah'm better than them because o' somethin' they can't control. Ah've been on the receivin' end o' that one foah too long to believe in it ever again. Ah was only there because of the illusions you gave me about havin' a family, about bein' loved and cared foah. But ah'm not blind any more, Mystique, and ah can see exactly what you are, and ah don't want anythin' else ta do with ya."

Mystique was quite visibly put back. "You don't know what you're saying, daughter."

"Aren't you the slightest bit afraid that yoah wrong? Ah think ah do. The only thing yoah about ta lose is a recruit. That's all ah ever was to you anyway. Ah was never yoah daughter. Just like Kurt was never yoah son."

"Vas?" I t'ink she forgot dat dey weren't de only two people in de room. De rest o' de X-men were just sittin' there all tense, lookin' like dey were either really confused, or waitin' fo' Armageddon ta come. Maybe a combination o' de two. But Kurt stepped out o' de shadows, an' fo' de first time durin' dis whole t'ing, Rogue looked like she lost her nerve.

"Kurt, honey, ah didn't mean ta say what ah did."

"Vat did you say?"

"Oh Kurt ah'm…"

"I can reveal myself. I will not fear my own flesh and blood."

Kurt just looked at her strangely. I kept waitin' fo' someone to say dis wasn' de time or de place, cause it jus' kept getting' worse an' worse, but nobody looked like dey wanted to get involved. An' poor lil Remy had to sit dere an' watch dis wit' trepidation, wit'out even a super-sized bucket o' popcorn ta keep me company.

"Kurt, I am your mother." She held her jaw rigid. Kurt jus' kept starin'. Well, what are you supposed ta say to dat? What would I have said? Je ne sais pas.

"I have had so much zat I wanted to say to my muter, if ve vere ever to meet. But now, at zis moment, vat I vant most is to hear vat she has to say to me."

She turned livid. "I have nothing to say to you. I have already paid for you with my life, and I owe you nothing."

The words cut de man deeply. Dis wasn't de happy reunion I guess he had dreamt about. Dese people sho' did challenge my reputation fo' emotional detachment. I walked over a put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. He shrugged me off.

"Zen why are you here?"

"Protecting my investment. Don't read too much into it, Kurt dear. You may have my eyes, my gifting, but your face is your father's, and I forgot him long ago."

"How can you pretend to care so much foah me and then be so cold to him? Do you even care what he's been through? What you've put him through? What you've put me through? You remember so vividly every offense ta you, but it's so easy for you to forget the lives you take and ruin!" Rogue was getting mad ag'in.

"Like mother like daughter. Do you truly still find it so easy to blame others for your mistakes?"

"No. It was mah fault. Ah should never have left that bench. But there's one mistake ah'm willing ta let fall on someone else, and that is Carol Danvers. You did that."

"I did not know the effects would be what they were."

"You had no idea what the effects could be! But you were willing to risk it. You were willing to risk me. And you lost me. You have no one to blame but yoahself. Don't you ever call me traitor again. That's yoah game, not mine. So now you've lost a daughter and given away a son. Well if you…."

"Rogue, please. I have only one zing to say." Rogue stopped an' looked back at him, pain dancing in front o' her eyes ag'in. Still de fearless X-men said not'ing.

"Muter, do you have faith?" He addressed Mystique.

"Religion, Kurt, is nothing more than the blind leading the blind, and a source of comfort to the weak."

"Nien, fraulein. You are wrong." He walked towards her, an' she actually backed away, like a cat in a corner. He placed his hands on bot' her shoulders.

"Gott is perfect. Ven ve have faith in him, ven ve love him, zen ve too vill try to be better. Gott vould forgive you for all you have done. And because I love him, so vill I. But I am not perfect, so it vill take me longer. You have done more wrong to me zan de rest of ze world put together, but vatever you choose, vatever you do, you vill always be my muter." He tried to take her a in a hug, but she pushed him away, visibly shaken by the power an' wisdom o' dose words. He walked over ta Rogue, who looked at him with awe. Mystique had given him nothing, an' yet he could do what she could not.

"Vere Gott closes a door, he opens a vindow. Vere he has taken my muter away, he has given me a sister. If you vill have me, though ve are not bound by blood, zen you and I shall not have to be alone anymore."

He watched her. We all watched her.

"Ah don't know what kind o' sister I'll make, sugah. But ah suppose it's like the good book says, 'Freely you have received, now freely go and give'."

He smiled, "Ya, fraulein, it does say zat."

"We need to get out of here. You can discuss it all you want at the mansion, but this isn't the place." Finally, Scott, as usual. Rogue looked at Mystique, but Kurt wouldn't look back. I could see all the t'oughts an' all de t'ings she wanted ta say, but in de end all dat came out was,

"Goodbye, momma." Kurt took her gloved hand in his, an' they turned ta follow de rest o' dem out.

"Rogue, I never meant…"

"You didn't have to. All ya had ta do was not love us."

'Bout den I felt a little pull on my jacket dat was startin' ta be familiar. I looked down at de straggler.

"You got somet'in on yo' mind, Jack?"

"What were they talking about?"

"Dat's a long story dat I t'ink you should probably ask her about, not me."

"Are we going now?"

"Oui, petit homme." An' so we did, and thus concluded my first mission wit' de X-men. An' when we got back, I threw my own self une petite boum (a little party). I invited my two meillures amis (best friends), Mr. Jack Daniel an' Captain Morgan. Dey always know how ta calm a man's nerves. You see, a strange t'ing was happenin'. When we got back outside, Everyone was glad to see us, an' everyone got checked over. Wolverine pulled Jean aside an' seemed like dey was havin' a serious conversation, an' it wasn't wasted on Scott, who scowled at dem de whole time. De t'ing dat worried ol' Gambit was dat Betsy came out an' gave me a kiss on de cheek. Dat's very ambitious. De strange t'ing was, de whole time I was watchin' Rogue, worryin' 'bout Rogue, thinkin' 'bout Rogue. Dat was de first time I realized dat maybe I was startin' ta have a problem.


	6. Chapter 6

Like ah said, I hated high school

Part 6: Sinister Dealings

Like ah said, I hated high school. Foah most people, high school is a time to confront some harsh realities about the world, other people, and yoahself. Unfortunately foah me, my world was just chock full of harsh realities. Somewhere deep down ah think ah always knew what Mystique was, but ah wanted so badly to believe the lie that I just didn't pay attention. Maybe ah thought if ah tried hard enough ah could make it real. Kids can be so dumb sometimes.

So yeah, I threw mahself a little pity party foah a while, but I eventually get tired of feelin' sorry foah mahself. Ah ain't one to pretend like ah don't feel anything, but the world don't stop just cause yoah havin' a bad day, and ah always bounce back. Afta a few days ah got right back to mah same routine, now more determined than ever ta prove that ah was an X-man.

To be honest very little of interest happened over the next few weeks, but ah'll catch ya up anyhow. We got back to the mansion, took in the kids, and even though Nightcrawler wanted to go home so bad he was fixin ta burst, we asked him to stay with us a while, just to make shoah he was safe and no one was gonna come afta him. The time he spent with us was primarily shared by the Professor, mahself, and surprisingly Logan. Somethin' about Kurt just calmed him ah guess. But afta his little episode at the compound, Xavier was quick to begin probing his mind again. Ah guess they got a clue cause one mornin' Logan had ta go "check some things out". Ah hate it when he does that. Worries me ta death.

But since this story is about me and the Cajun, let's talk about that foah a while. Basically, we hardly spoke afta that. Gambit started havin' plenty to do and someplace else ta be. Ah took the hint and did the same. One, cause it's beneath my dignity to be chasin around some man who won't give me the time of day, and two ah wanted some space from him.

Let me reiterate: it's hard not bein able ta touch people. Ya cain't snuggle a baby, ya cain't hug a friend, ya cain't kiss the one ya love, ya cain't wipe a tear away, not really. All those unspoken elements of caring that other people take foah granted, ah cain't enjoy. That's something ah gotta live with every day. But when its hypothetical, faceless, nameless imaginary people, it's much easier to handle. Still not easy, but easier. It's so much worse ta have somebody in particular in mind when yoah feelin' lonely.

Still, it's true that sometimes emotions can make a girl irrational. But Gambit, bein the gentleman that he is, gave me some reinforcement.

Wednesday ah got up early to go to my usual danger room session. My path went right by the cajun's door, but it normally didn't make no difference ta me cause he's almost never in there anyway. However, just as ah was nearin' the place, who should walk out half past four in the mornin' but Betsy Braddock, disheveled and sleepy eyed. She caught sight of me and burst into a rascally grin.

"Hey kid." She tossed as she sauntered past.

Now keep in mind Betsy didn't know anything about how ah felt. Ah wish ah coulda kept that in mind. Ah was so mad ah coulda decked a horse. While ah really didn't have any justification foah mah anger, it turned out ta be a great motivator foah stayin away from Remy….scumbag..

But life just ain't boring around the x-mansion, and it had a few more licks ta deal me befoah ah left adolescence.

Hank was helpin' me in the danger room when it happened. Logan was still galavanting off somewheres, Jean and Cyclops were off bein a couple downtown, and Storm was attendin' a press conference. Ah was doin all right, but startin' ta get a little tired. Ah was fixin' ta ask Hank for ten more minutes, when suddenly, ah got real tired. Guess ah was exertin' mahself a little harder than ah thought.

"Hank can ya turn this thing off?"

But there was no answer from Hank. Ah looked up into the observation window and saw him sleepin' on the controls. Red flag. Ah had just noticed a sort of metallic taste in mah mouth before ah hit the ground.

"Rogue! ROGUE! Wake up!" It was Scott. Ah wanted to respond, but ah was so sleepy.

Then Jean's voice came barreling inta mah mind like a train.

"ROGUE!" Ah shot up.

"Rogue, what's going on? Where's the professor? What happened?"

"What?" Ah was still groggy. But Scott wasn't feelin' too patient with me. He started shakin' me up.

"What happened here?!"

"Well hang on a dang minute and let me think! Ah was trainin'…Hank was at the controls. Ah don't know ah just got so tired."

"Did you see anyone? Did you see anything?"

"No. I just saw Hank asleep at the computer befoah ah passed out."

"Scott what are we going to do?" Jean was clearly concerned.

"What's happened?" ah asked.

"There are traces of gas toxin all over the mansion. Someone drugged the place. Hank's gone, the Professor's gone, Jubilee, Gambit, Psylocke, all missing! We have no idea who did this or where they went. Jean can't find any trace of them with Cerebro."

"Well there's gotta be somethin! Five people just don't go missin' without leavin' some trace somewhere!"

"You're right. Split up and look for clues. I'm going to try to access the security files and see if it caught anything. Jean, keep scanning with Cerebro. Maybe they're unconscious."

"I'll try Scott."

I tore through that mansion like a woman possessed. Ah looked everywhere ah could think ta look. Ah was rootin' through Psylocke's quarters when ah heard Scott behind me.

"Rogue I'd like to see your room."

"Mah room?"

"Look, try not to take this personally."

It has been mah experience that when someone tells ya not to take somethin' personally, its usually very personal.

"Well why don'tcha explain and ah'll decide whether ah want to or not."

"We don't have time for this. The Professor is missing!"

"You think he's in mah room? Planning a big surprise party with the others? Fat chance."

"Someone planned this out. Someone had access to our ventilation systems, our security systems, don't you realize they could have come in here and cleaned this place out? Wasted everyone?! But they didn't use lethal force. They just took everyone, with no signs of struggle. Every single X-man except you. I don't know if you're in on it. Right now I don't care. All I know is that your presence is the only clue we've got, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to find my team."

"Sure Scott. Come on up to mah room. Ah'd love another round of Blame Rogue."

"Which do you care more about? Your own pride or the lives of the others?!"

"Ah wish you could just answer that question foah yoahself, instead of me havin ta prove it all the time, but foah now come on up ta mah room. Yoah not gonna find anything there."

Lo and behold, ah was wrong. The room was undisturbed, but there was a small silver tube lying on mah bed. Scott picked it and and found a button on one end. He called Jean in to hit it foah us with her telekinesis so we could stand at a safe distance, in case it exploded. Ah woulda just pushed the darn thing. Ah guess that's why he's the leader. Much to our joy, it didn't explode. Rather, it projected an image; an evil image, one that no one was happy to see.

"Greetings Rogue." Mah name crept out of Mr. Sinister's mouth like it was a disease.

"I'm sure by now you've realized that your friends are missing. I left this message to allay your fears: they are unharmed. Moreover, I am more than willing to return them relatively unscathed to their rightful place, with one provision: I want YOU Rogue." Oh heck. Much as a love a sweet talker this wasn't exactly what ah had in mind foah mah afternoon.

"I don't want a struggle; I want you in peak condition. To insure your cooperation in this matter, I have placed some custom accessories on your friends: collars designed by the good people at the Weapon X programs to suppress the use of mutant powers. I have added my own original flare to the piece, by placing explosive devices in each. Even a hint of aggression on the part of the X-men and they will be obliterated. Enclosed are the coordinates where you can meet me. The facility is equipped with a psychic scrambling device, so don't bother trying to glean more information than I'm willing to grant. You have 24 hours to respond, at the end of which time your friends become of no further use to me. I look forward to meeting you in person. This message will not be repeated"

The image disappeared. Ah was speechless. Scott and Jean weren't big talkers at the moment either. My mind reeled with possibilities and the implications of what Sinister had said. Any aggression, and half the team was signed, sealed, and delivered. No psychic interference. That settles it.

"Well ah'm going to need the blackbird to get there by nightfall."

"We've got to think. We have to come up with a plan."

"Scott, look, we've been up against this Sinister guy befoah, you and Jean especially. He's tough, he's dead serious, and he's got his bases covered. Not in a few hours are we going to be able to come up with a reasonable plan on the information we've got. There's too much to risk."

"You don't think I know that? But we don't have many advantages to play with. The only bargaining chip we have is you. We give you up and what's to say he doesn't waste the other five anyway? Whatever his plan is, it needs you to be completed, obviously. Knowing that guy we can't allow him to succeed."

"Scott, we don't even know what his plan is, we can't foil it before we know that. Rogue right, he has his bases covered. We don't know what we're up against, what we're going to find at the coordinates, and there's too much at stake. We don't have anything to bargain with and he knows it." Jean chimed in.

"I don't like it. There has to be another way."

"Listen Scott, we still got X-men on the outside. Let me go in there. We can't do anything without more information. Ah'll try to find out what he wants with me, and maybe just maybe he'll let the others out. If nothing else, it buys you a little more time to figure out what we're gonna do."

Scott gave me a long, searchin' look. Sometimes ah wonder how a girl like Jean could love such a stern face.

"Scott yoah gonna have ta trust me. Please. Ah want them back just as much as you do."

"Do you?"

"All right, if you cain't believe that ah really care because ah'm part of this dang team, then let's play something more logical: what do you suppose will happen ta me with the Professor gone? You think ah want a ticket back to crazy town?"

"Scott please, there is no time. We're already missing half the team." Jean was clearly getting exasperated.

"All right. Take Storm with you, Rogue. I want her to give us some aerial surveillance, at least we can get the lay of the land. Rogue, when you get in there, you're going to be on your own. But before you agree to anything, I want you to demand the release of one of the hostage X-men. I don't care which one, but this serves two purposes: it gets us one more team member on our side, and gives us some inside intelligence. I'm going to give you a communication plant. I don't know if you'll be able to get it inside, but don't use it, don't turn it on. Try to give it to one of the other x-men. Since you seem to be the star of the show, maybe they'll be able to use it a little less conspicuously. I'm giving you one hour, and if there's no contact then I'm going to have to go after the scrambling device. I don't want to, its too risky, but the odds aren't with us on this one and we've got to try something."

And that's how ah found mahself walking up to the gates of one of Sinister's many lairs. It wasn't really much to see from the outside. Just some sort of commercial buildin', looked like there was still construction goin on. But it was the inside that made me apprehensive.

Even though ah knew Storm was circlin' overhead somewhere above the clouds, it still felt like ah was alone. Ah had gotten used to bein' part of a team, workin' together, havin' too much to think about to even consider what ah was feelin'. But ah had ta keep focused. Mah friends were in there. And this time it was all up ta me. Ah kept their faces in the forefront of mah mind. Hank's gentle smile, Jubilee's exuberance, Psylocke's fire, the Professor's calm hopefulness, and Gambit's velvety voice wrapped around me like a suit of armor. This time they were in there, scared and confused, and ah was gonna save them. Game time.

"Who goes?" a guard trained his rifle towards me as ah approached.

"Rogue. Ah've come just like Sinister asked. So let a lady in."

"Very well. Come on in, real easy."

As soon as ah got within arms reach he jerked me towards him and slapped a gold collar around my neck.

"Whoa there fella, no need to play rough."

"Sorry lady. We gotta take precautions."

"Ah'm here to get my friends back. That's it."

The guard just snickered, dug the barrel of his rifle inta mah back, and ordered me ta move. Jerks like that really get mah hackles up. But today there was no place foah that, so ah just moved along. The place was really quite small, one long corridor lined with officies, which eventually led to large open, warehouse like space.

"So glad you could make our little appointment. Welcome, Rogue." Mr. Sinister stepped out of the shadows.

"Ya coulda cleaned the place up if you were expectin company."

"Efficiency before aesthetic. Between the psionic scrambler and the hologram device, we needed no further extravagant security precautions. Hard to infiltrate something that can't be found."

He began to walk toward me. "Do you know why you are here Rogue?"

"How would ah? You weren't inclined to explain in yoah message. But befoah ya get to the nitty gritty details, ah got some news foah you." He clearly looked annoyed. Good.

"Ah can only assume that you've got some great evil type scheme in mind, but befoah these negotiations go any further you need ta know that ah don't trust ya. Ah want some insurance that my friends will really go free."

He smiled. Not good. "What did you have in mind?"

"Two things, first ah want ya ta show them to me. Ah need to know that they're not already dead."

"Astute of you. Follow me."

Sinister opened a door and ushered me inside. Out the back of the warehouse was another corridor, this one lined with cells. Most of them were empty, but there in the very back were the X-men. Little red lights from the explosive charges blinked at me from the darkness. I heard Jubilee's small shrill voice first.

"Rogue! It's a trap! You've got to get out of here.!"

Ah went over ta her. "You think ah don't know that sugah? Listen to me, ya got ta stay calm. It's under control. Everything's gonna be all right, ah promise."

Ah winked at her for effect, and she nodded at me nervously. Ah held my body as calm as ah could, hopin she couldn't see how scared ah was. Nothin' like seein yoah friends behind bars with explosives strapped to their necks to put the fear of God inta ya. But ah couldn't get scared this time. The line ah had ta walk was too thin. This time ah had to be the voice of reassurance. In the cell with her were Psylocke and Gambit. Psylocke was huggin her knees in the corner, beads of sweat on her forehead.

"Y'all all right?"

"Petit you shouldna come. Dat Sinister, he got plans fo' ya."

"What's wrong with Psylocke?"

"De scrambler, it givin' her a migraine sometin fierce. She real dizzy but she all right. Chere you got ta be careful."

"How are you? You hurt?"

"Mais non petit, take more dan dat to get Gambit down."

He was worried. Ya can always tell when somethin's on his mind cause he starts talkin third person. His hands were clutchin the bars, and ah wrapped mine around his.

"Don't worry Remy. And don't forget who ah am. Ah can handle just about anything they throw at me. Y'all will be home before you can say 'Dixieland.'"

The next cell held Beast and the Professor, only the Professor was strapped into a large machine mounted on the wall with a helmet on him that covered the top half of his face. Impossibly tangled tubes ran in and out.

"What have you done to the Professor??"

"I have only suspended his consciousness. I assure you he is quite fine. The force of his mind proved to be a threat to our devices, so we had to neutralize it."

"You better hope that thing hasn't done him any harm, or mark my words ah'll have you for Christmas dinner the next three years in a row!"

"You are threatening me? How quaint. But remember your circumstances. You wouldn't want me to get…irrational. There, you've seen that they are all here, unhurt."

"Yeah well I have one more condition."

"Don't try me."

"How do ah know that ya won't just kill them when yoah done with me? Ya promised they'd get ta go on back home. Ah want ya to make good on that promise right now. Ah want one turned loose. Ah'll even be a lady and let ya pick which one."

"You are ceasing to amuse me. I will not humor you further. That collar you wear has disabled any threat you might have posed, and keep in mind that I still hold power of life and death over your friends, and now you. I have won, and I shall do as I wish. Guards! Place her on the table!"

After that ah got rushed by three men, and by instinct, ah tried ta fly. Ah couldn't. Ah tried to sling them offa me. Three men shoulda been nothing. Ah couldn't do that either. These collars…they worked…ah couldn't do a thing with it on. As much as ah hated my powers most of the time, now that they were gone ah felt mighty helpless. They flung me down on that table hard and locked me in with some metal restraints.

"What are you DOIN??"

"Why Rogue I thought you might never ask. We, you and I, are making history!"

"What, ah'm officially the first person to be strapped to a table?"

"Silence! Do not mock me! You don't know the opportunity that has been granted you! You will be worshipped as a goddess, marked down in the annals of time as the mother of an age!"

"Sounds great an all that, but isn't this the same shtick you fed Jean and Scott?"

"Science, Rogue, is a quest for success. Mistakes and failures are merely companions along the road to perfection. I chose Scott and Jean because of the strength of their mutant code. This was a mistake. Mutation occurs in stages, and future generations will inevitably be stronger than the early ones. I have no wish to breed an entirely new army each decade. I don't want superior, I want perfect! You are the key to that ultimate success."

"Boy honey have you got your girls crossed."

"Don't you see? It is not strength that is necessary. Strength is only relative. But flexibility, that is adaptable. The lab you destroyed, the children you stole, they were the mistakes that came from my previous flawed theory."

"WHAT?!"

"The lab belonged to a private company called 'Weapon X'. Though their ideas about human control of mutants are inevitably impractical, their genetic research yielded some astounding results. Moreover, they simply have resources that I found unequaled. They've practically warehoused a cross section of the mutant population! Certainly they would have been unwilling to share such a wealth of potential information with a mutant like myself, so I developed some devices to help me control some of the key participants, thus gaining access and control to the location in South Dakota. There I conducted my research, splicing and fusing genetic code in the hopes of creating truly remarkable mutants, but my success was limited."

"Yoah a madman! Ya cain't do that! Ya ain't no better than those people you tortured! Ya got no right!"

"Perhaps no better, but certainly more ambitious. The truth is the criteria for viable genetic material is very limited. One can only push the boundaries so far. For each successful creation, hundreds of others never reached fruition. Even the successes were not completely satisfactory. I had reached the full breadth of my capabilities, but still my ultimate goal was beyond my grasp. Then there was you."

"Ah don't understand."

"You see your specific mutant gene is adaptable. Not at an evolutionary pace, but at lightening speed!"

"It doesn't work like that. It's not genetic. It only works for a little while, then it goes away. You got this all wrong."

"Have I? Then how do you explain your flight, your strength? In assessing the damages to my facilities, much was lost to me, but much was gained. Some of you were wounded during your endeavors, and I was able to recover your genetic material. Your DNA is the most remarkable I have ever seen. You are able to extend your mutant gene with each new entity you absorb. Each power remains in your arsenal, permanently. What is disappointing is how much discretion you've shown in absorbing power. The length of your touch magnifies or minimizes the strength of the transfer. Many of your hiding powers are quite weak, but we're going to change all that."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"I am going to make you the most powerful mutant in the world. You will absorb the powers of other mutants, expanding your arsenal to its seemingly endless capacity. Once this is done, I will use your upgraded gene to create a host of super mutants, not just most powerful to this age, but with your absorbing power, that they might adapt to any new strain of the mutant gene and never become obsolete. With this army I will establish mutants as the dominant form of life on the planet. I will remake the world in my own image! You have made all this possible. So, now you see why it was so important that you come to me unharmed. You will need your strength for the work we must to do."

"You cain't do this!"

"Can't I?"

"You don't understand. It's not just the power, it's the entire PERSON. You'll drive me mad! Your army will all be madmen unable to so much as touch another person."

"I don't need your mind. I only need your genes. And my army will not want for such base pleasures as human contact. Their minds will be directly under my control, and my direction. I can create them; I have no need for them to create themselves. And now that I have you, I have plenty of time to perfect my formula. I do not believe you will be going anywhere anytime soon, or ever again for that matter."

"You musn't! You don't understand what yoah doing!"

"Quiet! I have waited too long for this moment to put it off any longer. Slab! George! Bring out the others."

Mah mind was racin' at a million miles a minute. Ah couldn't panic. Ah needed a plan. There had to be somethin' that could be done. Ah tested my bonds, but they wouldn't give an inch. Mah eyes scanned for anything that could be used, but there was nothing. Come on, come on! Oh gawd Scott please come up with somethin'.

"Vertigo, go and carefully remove her collar. We need those powers of hers active."

The X-men marched into the room, bound, gagged, and collared, minus the Professor. Had ta stay calm.

"You have been brought to witness the dawn of an age! After this moment, all of you will be obsolete prototypes of a master race of mutant, at my control! You will tell your precious Professor of the day his pitiful dream died on the vine! Vertigo, you shall be first to give your gifts to the cause. Ruckus, you must hold her hands. Do not let go until I instruct, we need the gene to be strong!"

"Don't do this! Ya don't know what this will do to ya! Ah could kill ya! Vertigo don't throw yoah life away for this madman!"

"When this madman rules the world, what sort of life do you think I will lead? I will want for nothing! The humans must be obliterated, surely you can understand that."

I was goin ta try again but she grabbed mah face and ah felt that familiar pulsing of another person pushing their way into mah veins, mah body, mah mind.

Thoughts came rushin inta mah head. He'll take care of me. He will give me the savage lands. No one will oppose us! No one will oppose me! Images of jungle trees, villages, dinosaurs flashed befoah mah eyes.

"Stop, let go! It's too much!"

Dizzy, so dizzy. No, I will make THEM dizzy. They raise their hands against me, but I am not defenseless!

My own will started fadin away. My own thought began swirlin, changing inta Vertigo's.

"Help. Help please. Yoah killin us." Ah knew it was the last thing ah would have the strength ta say.

Suddenly her hands broke away. Ah opened mah eyes and Vertigo had collapsed, motionless. Ruckus was holdin' her.

"Boss she don't look so good. You sure this is safe?"

"There are always costs for greatness. Do not question me. Leave her. She will recover in time."

Suddenly a wave of energy came bustin' outta mah mind, outta mah control. It was Vertigo's power, and it poured out stronger and stronger.

"Stop! Make her stop! Ruckus, put the collar back on!"

He writhed on the floor, soon followed by the x-men, the rest of the nasty boys, and Sinister himself.

"I…I can't!"

"Do it!"

"I CAN'T! I can't even move!"

Ah don't know how long it poured out of me, but eventually it began fallin away, till finally everyone got back to their feet.

"That was quite clever of you, Rogue, but to no avail."

"You don't listen! I cain't help it! Just cause ah have a power doesn't mean ah can control it! What if yoah whole dang army turns out to be full of out of control powers like this? Even if yoah idea wasn't stupid in the first place, yoah methods shoah are!"

"It will WORK! Ramrod, you are next. That should prove far less dramatic, given the scramblers."

"Stop this please!"

"Boss, I don't know about all this, you sure you – "

"Do NOT question me!" He struck Ramrod, pretty dang hard too. "Next to hesitate will not be permitted to survive. Do it!"

"Ramrod, you saw what happened to Vertigo. My first boyfriend was in a coma for three weeks, is that what you want?"

"Orders lady. Give it a rest."

"How about Miss Marvel? She never woke up Ramrod, never! Ah don't want you in mah dang head!"

Like most men, Ramrod didn't listen.

After all, ol' boy, who wouldn't want to touch this lady. Whatever the man says. We can't have him mad at us. Why did I get into this whole thing in the first place?

Spiraling down, down. Lost, confused. Once Ramrod let go, ah had a problem.

Ya see, Ramrod's powers were psionic, or psychic in nature. He controls plants with his mind. There's this little recurring problem ah have with Miss Marvel, aka Carol Danvers. I absorbed her whole consciousness. All of it. Her body lies in a hospital somewhere, living off machines, but no one's home. She stays with me, always. And she seems to want me gone. Professor X had managed to contain her with some psychic abilities. Since she and ah didn't have psychic abilities, the defense system was relatively impenetrable. But now ah had some, and ah couldn't control them even under normal circumstances, but the scramblers made it even more interesting. Ah felt Ramrod's borrowed powers shatter through mah mind, and the walls that kept Carol gone begin to crumble.

"What have you done ta me? Oh gawd what have you done?"

"Where's Gambit?? Where the hell did that pretty boy go?" cried Slab.

Sinister lost his cool lickety-split. "You lost him?! How did you??"

The powers and people and thoughts raging around in my newly psychic but horribly scrambled brain seemed to tear a hole right through mah brain. Ah could scarcely even make out an entire thought.

Suddenly, the alarms went off. "Security Breach. Intruder Alert."

"It's the X-men!"

"Detonate the collars!"

"I don't know where the control went!"

"What?! The INCOMPETENCE! Slab, George, grab her, give her your powers. We'll use her to defend us!"

"Don't do it, please! Ah cain't take any more!"

"GRAB HER!"

They did it. Between the incoming power of two different mutants and the ones still raging in mah head, ah was a lost cause. Ah think ah remember screamin' one time. Ah couldn't help it. There's simply no pain quite like psychic damage. Carol broke through her wall, everything went black, and ah ceased to exist.

13


	7. Chapter 7

Dat night wit Sinister was one o' dose night dat you don' forget so easy

Part 7: Sleeping Beauty

Dat night wit Sinister was one o' dose nights dat you don' forget so easy. Not only was de whole t'ing unpleasant, but confusin' as anyt'ing. One minute asleep, next yo' awake but don' know where you are. All you know dat yo' wit Sinister. I hate dat man. So you start ta brace yo'self fo' what's ta come, only ta find out s' not you he's after. S' not often an homme gets de drop on Remy LeBeau, an I mu's admit s' not my fav'rite t'ing.

So dere we were, two to a cell, wit' no answers cept dat somet'in bad was bout ta happen to Rogue.

But let me get a word in on my cellmate, Psylocke. S' true, we spent a night together, but not'ing happen. Me and Psylocke were gettin' closer all the time, an' s' not like I wouldn't have, undah normal circumstances. When Psylocke came ta my room in de night, I'll admit dat at first I was pleasantly surprised. However, Betsy had been out on de town; a combination o' night magic and cocktails had put some ideas in her head about how to end her evenin' out: wit' Gambit. But in his own way, Gambit a gentleman, an I wasn't about ta let it start dat way. I kissed de femme, held her, let her sleep it off, but dat was it. I prefer bein' on de side of de night magic, but sometimes ya got ta do t'ings de right way. Turns out I was right, Psylocke didn' really want dat, least not yet. I tol' her ta come back an' talk ta me again the next night if de idea still appealed, but she didn'. In dat case, my place at de X-men would have become somewhat awkward had I taken her up on her offer. C'est la vie.

Also true is dat I had been avoidin' ma chere. S' not like I had never cared about a femme before. Quite far from it. Gambit cared about lots o' femmes. Never did like ta see a lady mistreated. But s' been very few of dem dat I had real, true, feelings fo'. De truth is dat I didn' want to care fo' Rogue, not like I was doin'. I've learned plenty about myself over de years, an' one t'ing I know better dan anyt'ing else is when I'm in danger. So I gave myself a little breathin' room from her.

Why didn't I want to care? Couple o' reasons. I t'ought I liked my life de way it was. I liked de freedom of doin' what I wanted, goin' where I wanted ta go, and not lookin' back, least not mos' o' de time. In my experience, really carin' about somebody is a chain you put on yo'self. No matter how far you get, dey still got a hold over you. Given previous liaisons, I much preferred dependin' on myself dan on anyone else. Dat an' I was startin' ta get de impression dat maybe Rogue was t'inkin' more about me dan she was lettin'on. Every so often I managed ta say or do somet'in an' dere was dis wide eyed look she would give me, dis kind o' vulnerable side. I liked Rogue. I didn' want anyt'ing bad ta happen ta her. Fallin' in love wit' a man like me would definitely be a bad t'ing.

Back to de night in question. Jub'lee kept runnin' at de mouth, prolly cause she was scared. At first, Psylocke wasn' bothered by de scrambler, till Charles tried to push past it anyway. Den dey put de prof in dat machine tingy, an' reset de scrambler to a stronger setting. Dat took care o' Xavier and Psylocke all in one blow. Afta dat she was dead ta de world, tryin' ta keep hold on her thoughts. Hank was mos'ly tryin' ta figure out a way ta help de prof, but ta no avail. He wouldn' risk messin' wit a machine he didn't undastand with Xavier still in it. Plus he just gets distracted when a machine impresses him. Nature o' de Beast.

Gambit knew better dan to try de locks. I known dis Sinister guy, an I know s' no use. So, much to my humiliation, we had not'in to do but sit dere and wait ta be rescued. After a while, we got Rogue. Jus' Rogue by herself. An' she was bein' uncharacteristically passive about de whole t'ing. Didn' even put up a fight. Didn' look good ta Remy. Looked like everyt'in was going ta Sinister's plan thus far. Den she grabbed my hands. Two t'ings happen ta Remy when she did dat. First, I was touched, and unexpectedly. She was comin' here, at great risk ta herself, jus' to save us, ol' Remy included. And Sinister's no joker, maybe I more dan anyone had some clue o' just how disagreeable he can be, an' still _she_ was de one tryin' ta comfort _me_. Dat was when I really started ta worry. Next t'ing dat happened was dat Rogue slipped somet'in between my fingers. She gave me a meaningful glance, an' den went back about her business o' dealin' with Sinister.

Once dey wandered back away, I had a chance ta look at what she had given me. A communicator! Dere was a plan _après tout_! Happy day…

"Dis is Gambit. You read?"

"We read you Gambit. This is Cyclops, you guys ok?"

"We fine so far, homme."

"That's great news Gambit. What's going on in there?"

"Well, he's decided not ta send any o' us out after all."

"That's bad news."

"Oui. You got a backup plan don't you?"

"Not a great one. Gambit, we've got to get in there."

"You do an we all dance de big kaboom."

"I know. Gambit, if we can get the scrambler off, I think we stand a shot. I think that's probably our best shot. You've got to find an opportunity to – ,"

"Quiet now Cyclops, dey comin' back. Remy'll try."

"Keep in contact."

Dey came in an' bound us all up, den marched us out ta where dey had Rogue on de table. Sinister was making one o' his record breakin' monologues bout de end o' de world or somet'in like dat, but Remy had uddah t'ings on his mind. I was watchin' my surroundings, tryin' ta find de right moment ta sneak away. Jub'lee was sort of snugglin' closer an' closer ta me. I knew she was scared but ah didn' have much time ta pay attention ta her. Plus all bound up an' gagged dere wasn' much I could do bout it. Not gonna be easy, wit Sinister an' all de nasty boys, plus Vertigo. Maybe she a member o' de nasty boys, but if she is, den dey need ta call demselves de nasty _people_.

Den I saw Rogue use her powers fo' de first time. Well, perhaps use is a strong word. I guess I saw her powers _happen_, instead. To be honest dere isn' much ta see, relative to mos' mutant powers. It almos' looked like de air was swimming over Vertigo's hands when she touched Rogue. But Vertigo's face told de story. Dat face was surprise, pain, an' fear. Any way you line 'em up, dat's never a good combination. De longer she held on, de more Rogue's skin seemed ta be humming, even almos' glowing, but her face looked but anyt'ing but serene. Her eyes were flitting around, seemed ta be seein' t'ings dat weren't dere, and her face said more plainly dat words could have dat she hated it. Dat she hated ta be touched.

'S a tres mal feeling, not bein' able ta help someone important when ya want to. But jus' as I was about to get desperate, I felt somet'ing tugging at my wrists. It was Jub'lee! Untyin' de bonds! Smart girl! Dat's why she got so cuddly. Say what you like about our lil' mall hopper, but she works well undah pressure. I t'ink she just got used to bein' in a constant state o' panic after a while. I felt de rope fall away, but I didn' move my hands. No need to draw any attention to myself. I just had to find my chance. Vertigo let go o' Rogue, an' den Rogue herself provided a distraction fo' me. Vertigo's nom de guerre is self-explanatory. Dat feelin' you get up high lookin' down, where you get dizzy and can't tell which way is which, dat's exactly what it felt like when Rogue let loose.

I was not immune. But I jus' kept movin', without really knowing which way I was goin'. Tell de truth, it was startin' ta wear on my stomach. But de further I got away, the less the effect. By the time she let up again, I was out de door.

I went down de hall, quick and quiet. Had ta find de scrambler, but first I had to risk a message.

"Cyclops I'm out. I don' t'ink dey noticed yet, but I gotta tell ya I don' know what a psionic scrambler looks like."

"Gambit do you know how the detonator works?"

"Looks jus' like a remote control, 'cept for it only has one button."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Sinister had it wit' him, but he gave it to dis Slab fella so he could concentrate on de monitors."

"How do you get the collars off?"

"Jus' a key, but Sinister has dat on 'im."

"Where's Rogue?"

"Dey hurtin' her."

"Dammit! Gambit we've gotta get in there."

"Den you better tell me what dis scrambler looks like!"

Apparently, a scrambler looks like some kinda alien stereo system. From my limited understandin', it emits a frequency of sound beyond dat of hearing. You only vulernable if yo' a psychic.

"How do I turn dis t'ing off?"

"It's electrical, you've got to find a way to cut off the power. I don't know if it'll have a button or a switch."

Ev'ry once in a long while, de good lord chooses to smile on Remy Lebeau. I don' know what button or switch was what, but from Psylocke's condition I didn' really want ta pick de wrong one. Fortunately, de damn t'ing had a plug. Pulled it out, and I couldn' help but smile. Not ev'ry day do you get a problem dat simple.

"Done."

"Thank god. Jean, make Slab drop the remote. If we can get it free Kurt can try to grab it. We're coming in Gambit; try to meet up with us."

I started to make my way out o' de buildin' when I heard Rogue scream. Dat sound put a shot of adrenaline in my blood an' I turned right back around wit'out t'inkin. I jus' ran to dat girl as fast as I could.

When I got back to dat room, dere was chaos goin' on. Looked like Jub'lee had gotten everyone else untied, an' dey were tryin' hard ta get dat key off Sinister, but looked like he wasn' makin' it so easy. However, de collar dey had taken off Rogue was layin' on de floor next ta Vertigo. No one had noticed me yet, so I grabbed de t'ing. If I could get dat t'ing onto Sinister, maybe he'd be a lil mo'…cooperative. Unfortunately Ruckus caught sight o' me, an' let loose one o' dose signature rebel yells. Dat boy has quite a set o' pipes. Knocked me flat backwards just wit' de sound.

"Betsy! Heads up!"

I threw dat collar an' t'ank god, she caught it. Sinister was catchin' on ta my idea though.

"Ruckus! George! Stop her!"

Strange, Vertigo was still out cold, Ramrod right next ta her, but George and Slab seemed to be comin' back to life.

Suddenly everyone's attention was focused on Psylocke, an' she got hit with several diff'rent tricks all at once. But de opportunity wasn' lost on Beast. He grabbed Jub'lee an' launched her at Sinister. He might not have been able to use his powers, but never underestimate de physical ability o' Hank McCoy. Jub'lee hit him wit' enough force ta knock him down. She started rootin' an' pawin' at Sinister like he had de last chili dog hidden somewhere.

"I found it!!" she cried, but den Sinister hit her wit' one o' his concussive energy bolts an' she went flyin'. Slab was already givin' Hank enough ta worry about by den. George came to an' sent his arms flyin' over to where Jub'lee had landed.

After I shook off de sting, I jumped up to go after Sinister myself, but a puff o' blue smoke beat me to it. I didn' know Nightcrawler had joined de team, but dere he was, tearin' around de room so fas' I couldn' keep track of him. He got de key, and den he started flittin' around de room openin' collars. Now dis fight was lookin' better.

Me I had a score ta settle wit' Ruckus over dere. Once Nightcrawler put de ragin' back in dis Cajun, I went over ta where he was tormentin' lil Jub'lee. I didn' have my cards. Dey pretty much took everyt'in from us when we were captured, but dat didn' make no diff'rence. De loudmouth was wearin' a coat. I gave him a nice pat on de back, and dat coat exploded. I started ta go help Jub'lee up, but den I noticed de chere. Seems dey had taken her off de table, maybe hopin' ta take her wit' dem. What I saw in her face when she was layin' dere was enough to stop me in my tracks.

Gambit's seen death before. Sometime seem like he's jus' an old gamblin' friend. Once you see him, you never forget his face. And when I looked over dere, I t'ought Rogue was dead.

When you get dese kinds o' shocks...it's very hard ta explain later. One of dose t'ings you either know from experience or you can't possibly understan'. De world slows down, yo' vision tunnels, an' dere's nothin' cept dis one t'ing, dis one moment, dis one person in de whole universe.

I went over to de femme, where she was layin' on de floor so still. I slipped my arm undaneath her, and pulled her inta my arms. Her face was so pale.

"Rogue."

I don' know why it is dat you say somebody's name when you t'ink dere dead, but you'll find dat you do. It's one of those natural responses dat no one should ever have ta find out about.

But de femme, she opened her eyes, lifted her head, an' my breathin' jus' stopped. Dere's only one shock greater dan findin' out someone's dead when you didn' expect it: findin' out someone's alive when you didn't expect it.

"Remy are you all right?" Was I all right? Her first thought was whether Gambit was all right? After what jus' happen?

Almos' laughed, I was so relieved. An' wrapped up in dat surreal moment, dat uddah worldly feelin'…I jus' didn't t'ink about it. I touched her face. Her skin was soft and cool. Den I felt it. You know how it feels when you prick your fingertip, an' den you squeeze? It feels a lot like dat, but ev'rywhere, all o'you, inside an' out. I froze, couldn' help it. She shoved me away from her so hard I slammed into the ceiling before I fell back down.

I blacked out fo' a while, don' know how long, but couldn' been more dan a few seconds. When I came to I still couldn' move. De strength had gone from me. Jus' as well, everyone else was on de floor too.

Rogue was floatin' in de air, even though her body was limp, an' de only way to describe what was happenin' is to say she exploded. The room was spinnin' wit' Vertigo's power, plants were ripping through de concrete floor in response to Ramrod's call, her body grew as Slab's can do, her arms and legs stretched to impossible lengths thanks to Gorgeous… she was cyclin' through so fast you could hardly recognize dat she was human. Shapeshifting, super strength, an' finally her eyes started glowin' red. The gloves she was wearin' exploded off her hands in a pink blaze o' kinetic energy. I don' know how long dis went on. I knew ev'rybody was screamin'. I knew I was still a rag doll from Rogue's touch. An I knew dat if somebody didn' do somet'ing soon, Rogue was bout ta kill herself.

Suddenly, she stopped, collapsed to de floor, an' dere she lay, starin' straight forward, not movin' a muscle.

Hank came from de back, holdin' de Professor, who looked infinitely tired.

"She is contained. Get her out of here Nightcrawler."

Kurt stood up, visibly shaken, but he nodded, grabbed her, an' all dat remained o' dem were wisps o' smoke. Sinister was gone, an' looked like de nasty boys were all funned out. Right now all de X-men wanted to do was go home. So we did, me wit' a little help from de Beast.

Dere wasn' much talkin' on de plane. Ev'ryone was pretty shook up. Us getting' out o' dere was more to do wit' dumb luck dan teamwork or plannin'. Me I'm used to dat, but not usually when de stakes were dis high. An' we had a big question mark layin' in de back o' de jet, starin' at not'ing on a stretcher.

I watched her, waitin' fo' de femme to show some sign dat she was fine. She wasn' asleep, not exactly. Looked like a machine dat somebody had turned off. I touched her hair, careful not to make anuddah mistake. She didn' do not'ing. I was at a loss, an' I didn' like it.

"What's de matter wit' her? She gon' be all right?"

"I can't answer that yet, Gambit," said the Professor.

"Den dere's a chance she won't be?"

"Gambit please, if you give me some time I will have answers for you."

"How much time will dat take?"

"Gambit leave the professor alone! He says he'll help her, he'll help her." Cyclops was clearly on de end o' his rope, but so was Remy.

"I wasn' talkin' to you. I was talkin' to de professor."

"Well save it. The professor's been through a lot tonight."

"So has de girl, an' seems to me somebody round here needs ta take her part, seein' as she done saved ev'rybody's life."

"I don't know what kind of fight you're trying to pick, but –,"

"S' not nice ta have people pickin' at you, is it? Aggravatin', when somebody jus' keeps demandin' answers rather than takin' yo word fo' it."

"Gambit you don't know -,"

"You sent dat girl in like a lamb to da slaughter, not so much as a '_bon chance'_. Would you have done dat to Jean? Or Jub'lee? Remy t'inks _non_. I watch you people, you treat her diff'rent, like she some kind o' criminal, sometime like she downright poisonous. She jus' a girl, she young. She bound to make mistakes. She counted on you people to take care o' her, fo' whatever reason. Now t'anks ta you dey done hurt her, an' she might die cause o' dat decision you made. How does dat feel? Comfy?"

I expected Cyclops to get mad, ta hit back. I wanted him to. I needed ta do somet'in. I was scared, worried, hurt, an' helpless. Mos'ly I needed someone ta blame. But instead I had a very tellin' moment wit' Cyclops. He jus' sighed, rubbed his forehead with one hand, an' seemed to slump forward. It was de first time I started ta get a hint of jus' how tired de man was, or what kind o' ordeal this night might have been fo' him.

"You're wrong Gambit. If it had been Jean, I would have sent her. Jubilee, Beast, the Professor, myself, anyone I would have done the same thing, and I would have hated it. But I couldn't leave all five of you to die. That wasn't a choice. And I know Rogue's a kid. She's a good kid. She's confused, and she's got a temper, but she's sweet and she tries hard. But I do treat her differently. She's new, and she came from the Brotherhood. The team counts on me to lead, to see what's ahead. I have to be suspicious of her, _particularly_ because I like her. I didn't want to send her in there tonight, and if she dies…if anyone of you had died, it would have been my fault. That kind of responsibility doesn't come to me lightly. Please understand, Rogue _is_ a part of our team. We will do everything we possibly can for her."

"Scott it is decisions like you made tonight that convince me you are the best possible leader I could have chosen for the X-men," started the Professor, "And Gambit, it was your resourcefulness tonight that provided our success. The two of you have used the very best of your abilities to give Rogue the best possible chance she can have, and rest assured I will do no less. I would also like to recommend that neither of you underestimate the strength of our Rogue. While she was once a formidable opponent, she is now a fierce friend and fighter. I refuse to lose her to Sinister without a struggle. Right now she has too many different personalities vying in her mind. I have cut off the conscious part of her mind from communicating with her body, so as to prevent her from harming herself physically. When we return to the mansion, Jean and I will begin immediately trying to restore her mind."

It was de way de Professor said "our Rogue" dat calmed me. It may have been one o' de first t'ings dat made me wan' to join de X-men. He said it de way a father should say it, an' I couldn' help but realize how much he cared bout de chere. I believed dat he would help her, an' dat helped me. Either dat or he was usin' mind control on ev'rybody, but mos'ly he tries not ta do dat.

We got back to de mansion eventually, an' Rogue consumed my t'oughts. I saw her every day. S' hard to describe a psychic battle, cause dere ain't not'ing to see, but Jean and de Professor were dere nearly all de time. Dey even took turns sleepin'. Much as I could gather not bein' psychic myself is dat all de personalities Rogue had absorbed were fightin' fo' control o' de body.

Certain ones were stronger dan uddahs. At first Jean an' de Professor focused on tryin' ta help her fight inside her own mind, but dat didn't help. Den dey realized dat de strongest contenders were dose Rogue had touched, but who hadn't yet recovered. Since dere real bodies were still unconscious, dere personalities inside Rogue's mind were stronger. I know. All dis confuses me too. Anyway, de Professor used Cerebro to restore an' wake de minds of Vertigo an' Ramrod while Jean stayed tryin' ta protect Rogue. Eventually dey were able to sort of quarantine dese uddah consciousnesses, an' save her.

If you want real explanations, you got ta talk to someone uddah den Remy. I bullied as many answers out o' Jean and de Professor as I could, but some o' it didn' make no sense, an' dey got kinda exasperated wit' me after a while. What I know from my own experience is dat Rogue didn' move fo' almos' three weeks. Didn' move. I went to her ev'ry day, an' she never so much as blinked. An' s' easier to talk about now, knowin' dat she was jus' fine, but at de time, no one could say whether she was ever gon' come back out o' it.

It broke my heart. All dat fire, all dat fight, all dat tryin' could jus' go to waste at any second. An' fo' what? Some kinda science experiment. Wasn' fair. Near de end o' dose three weeks, it got harder to keep goin' back. I started really wonder whether she'd ever come back or not. Worse, some lil part o' me dat didn' even want to be heard out loud wondered if I was gon' come in an' find out dat she was gone. Dat we lost. But _finalement_, I came in one day to fin' Jean smilin'. Her eyes were dark an' her shoulders sagged, but when she smiled at me I knew it meant dat Rogue was gon' be all right. Instead of layin' on her back like a corpse, Rogue was on her side, clutchin' de covers an' curled into a lil ball. She was cute, an' even better, she was herself ag'in. I started ta rush over to her, but Jean stopped me.

"Remy please. She'll be ok, but she's exhausted. She's been fighting without rest since we got her back from Sinister. She'll need to sleep."

I looked doubtfully from Jean back to Rogue. It was mo' pout dan doubt really. I had been waitin' so long. I jus' wanted to hear her voice, find out fo' myself if she was ok. Jean shook her head at me.

"She'll be fine in a few days Remy. I promise. She's not in danger anymore, but she's got to rest."

"_D'accord_." I turned to go.

"I'm sure it will mean a lot to her. Knowing how you watched over her." Jean was giving me an encouraging smile.

"Who says de femme is gon' know anyt'ing about it?"

Jean seemed surprised. "Why would you not want her to know? You've been driving me crazy in here day after day, but it's been so sweet to watch you care for her. Everyone likes being cared for."

"I don' care bout dis girl. An' she don' need me carin' bout her. Mos' important, she don' need to be carin' about Gambit, _n'est pas_? She got you, de Professor, Logan…she got all o' you to worry fo' her. Remy LeBeau don' make no diff'rence one way or de uddah."

"Remy I don't think you realize-,"

"Petit, Gambit's a big boy. He can handle his own business. Don' need no help wit' it. Don' want no help wit' it. I made up my mind, now let's jus' let sleepin' dogs lie, _non_?"

I turned an' left her dere wit' an incredulous look on her face. I still don' know quite why I did dat. Somet'in inside me was just itchin'. I didn' want Rogue knowin' dat I was watchin' fo' her, an' I didn' feel like explainin' myself. I never feel like explainin' myself, but especially not when its some'tin I don' undahstand myself.

Rogue slept fo' days. I didn' go back to see her. Knowin' she was all right, dat was enough fo' me. I went about my business, an' when dere wasn' business, I found uddah ways to keep myself busy.

But business came callin' after all. Betsy an' I were precariously spendin' time together. Now I don' know if you know dis, but Betsy can be downright prideful. Turns out, her pride don' got hurt when I didn' take her up on dat offer I mentioned previously. Not only dat, but wit' all de drama on de team we were sort o' driftin' away from dat happy, playful pattern we established at de beginnin'. That, an honestly I was kinda losin' interest fo' some reason. Nevertheless, Remy was never one to turn down a pretty face.

So dere we were, out enjoyin' de night life. Loud music, a few drinks, an' some heated dancin' were helpin' me to rid myself o' some unwanted tension. Dat an Betsy's club attire were sufficient to distract me from my woes, even if only fo' a few hours.

Even though I'm mo' a jazz, Louisiana spice type man myself, watchin' Psylocke sling those taut limbs an' dat purple hair around to some heavy beat techno was provin' to be a more dan comparable substitute. Still, soon enough I needed a little air. De heat in dese kinds o' places always surprises me. Everyone gets packed in dere shoulder to shoulder an' soon as dey start to move de whole place lights up like a church oven before a Sunday social.

I lef' Psylocke at de bar an' went out de side exit to a brick paved alley where a man can have a smoke in peace. Not'ing out dere but broken beer bottles an' a dumpster down de way. I leaned against de wall, breathin' in slowly an' den lettin' de smoke drift up toward a sky I couldn' see. Never can see a decent night sky in a city. Part o' de atmosphere I guess. I closed my eyes, holdin' still to cool off, an' let my mind listen to de sounds o' de city. I could still hear de low thud of de bass line driftin' out o' de club, but a good 90 percent o' all city noise is jus' cars. Tires squeal, brakes screech, horns honk, sirens wail, all somewhere in de distance. I let all dose mechanical sounds weave a song in my mind, tryin' to keep my t'oughts engaged.

"Remy LeBeau I was startin' to wonder if I'd ever find you."

It took me less dan two seconds to snap back inta reality, grab my staff an' grab de homme by de collar.

"Remy! I'm not tryin' ta hurt you! S' me, Arnaud!"

De man had his hands up, palms out. Was Arnaud all right. Arnaud from de T'ieves Guild, Arnaud from back home.

"_Q'uest-ce que c'est_, Arnaud? Why you here? I tol' all o' ya to leave me alone."

"_Je me souviens_, Remy. An' I would if I could, but dis I gotta tell ya. Got no choice. Message from _ton pere_."

"_Il n'est pas mon pere_. An' I don' want his messages. If I did I'd buy an' answerin' machine."

I dropped Arnuad an' turned away. Jean-Luc jus' wouldn' drop it. I'd left de t'ieves guild nearly five years ago. Hadn' been back to visit even once. Still, ev'ry often somebody would seek me out, try to get me to come back. How many diff'rent ways can _un homme_ say _non_?

"He has Belle."

I stopped. Had no choice. Damn him. I turned around slowly, letting my eyes talk.

"Don't kill de messenger, Remy. I didn' want anyt'ing to do wit' dis."

"You a t'ief. T'ieves band togeddah."

"Well won' do you no good comin' after me anyway. Jean-Luc won' take no fo' an answer anymore. He say you come back an' work wit' yo' fam'ly or he gets rid o' de girl. He can gain a friend, or lose an enemy, de choice is yours."

I grabbed him by his shirt, shakin' him hard.

"How dis happen?! How he get Belle?! What do I have to do to get rid o' you people?!"

"You wan' to find out mo', you come back back to de bayou, an' you come by yo'self. We don' need no X-men."

I stared Arnaud down long an' hard, but I knew dere was not'ing I could do. Jean-Luc fin'ly found a way to get to me.

I threw him hard, jus' outta spite.

"What you gon' do?"

"You tell Jean-Luc I'll be dere in a few days."

"_Non_, I tell Jean-Luc you be dere tomorrow, or I tell you how sorry I am bout yo' wife."

I had bout three diff'rent ways o' killing Arnaud mapped out in my head, but none o' dem got me anywhere diff'rent.

"Fine, Arnaud. I'll be dere tomorrow."

"_Bon_."

An' wit dat, Arnaud disappeared into de shadows.

Had to cut my evenin' wit' Betsy short. I t'ink dat transgression was de one dat fin'ly sealed de fate o' our not-so-blossoming romance. Leastaways she tol' me to find my own way home, she would leave when she was good an' ready. So I took a cab. Had mo' important t'ings on my mind.

Soon as I got home, I burst in on de Professor.

"Gambit, what can I -,"

"Gambit got to leave. Tonight."

De Professor looked surprised an' concerned. "But why? What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you none o' dat. Wasn' even gon' tell you I was leavin' cept it occurred to me dat you might try to find me wit' dat machine o' yours, t'inkin' maybe I was in trouble."

"Are you in trouble?"

I grinned at him. "_Peut-etre_. But dis is somet'ing I got to do alone."

De Professor knit his eyebrows together an' folded his hands.

"Gambit, you are certainly free to leave whenever you need or want to. I swear I will not try to stop you, nor follow you. But I would like you to know that we value you here, that you are cared for, and whatever we can do to offer assistance we certainly will. I certainly hope you will be coming back to us when your personal affairs are concluded?"

"I don' know bout dat right now. Maybe not. Maybe so."

"Have we done something?"

"Non. Jus' can't see so far into de future right now."

Xavier put a hand to his chin an' looked at me perplexed.

"Gambit I realize that you are in some haste, but can you spare a few more moments to speak with me?"

"I can' tell you anyt'ing I haven't already."

"No, I will not press you for answers. It's not that. Please close the door. I will be very brief."

Close de door? Dis a secret? Remy jus' can' pass up a good secret. Character flaw. So I closed de door an' sat down.

"I wanted to talk to you about Rogue."

Damn. Shoulda kept walkin.

"What about her?"

"Well it seems the two of you have shared a rapport, become friends."

I shifted in my seat, but den put my poker face on. I wasn' giving not'ing away. De Professor continued.

"Personally I couldn't be more thrilled. Rogue is very slow to trust others, resists depending on any one else, and yet needs the same support and stability as any young girl her age."

"What dis got to do wit' me? Rogue got lots o' friends."

"Not quite. You see, there are people here who care about Rogue, probably more than she realizes. But I have learned a great deal about Rogue throughout these past few weeks, as Jean and I struggled with her inside her mind. You see the nature of her power is very perplexing; we have only just begun to understand how it works. I hope one day to be able to understand enough that we can help her to control it, but we aren't there yet. What I have learned is that Rogue herself has an unconscious influence on her own ability. Do you follow?"

"Not 'xactly, but I can pretend."

"What I mean to say is that Rogue's perception of the people she touches, her perception of herself, her mental awareness all have an effect on how her power manifests. This explains this disparity between Vertigo's experience and your own. Rogue's own dread of being touched, her fear of Vertigo, and her heightened state of awareness made her touch all the more potent. When you touched her, it was accidental, she was mentally exhausted, and therefore the effects were much milder."

"All right I get it but why are you telling me dis?"

"Because her perceptions continued to have influence once those entities entered her mind. Jean and I not only had to contend with the outside personalities in her mind, but her own personality as well. Her continued perception of Vertigo as an enemy gave the manifestation of Vertigo more power to cause damage. Not only this, but once Rogue's consciousness lost control of her body, every person she had ever touched manifested into their own phantom, a combination of their own selves and Rogue's interpretations of them. Even the X-men she absorbed while she was with the Brotherhood she perceived as being against her."

"How many people she been fightin' all dis time?"

"Dozens. However a rare few of these entities did not try hurt her. While I will not invade Rogue's privacy by describing them, I feel I must at least go so far as to tell you that you were one of them."

I was startin' to get confused again.

"What dis mean to me?"

"Gambit, you were trying to help her. In her mind you're one of the few people that she actually believes she can rely on, that she believes is on her side. This may have even been a reason why you were able to recover so quickly from her touch. This may be very valuable to understanding and controlling her power, but my concern is beyond that at this time. Jean and I have been able to protect and restore her subconscious mind, but we have not removed these influences completely. We don't know how this will ultimately affect Rogue's _conscious_ mind. She will still have thoughts and memories not her own. We will still have work to do. And I think of any of the X-men, you are the most qualified to help her. I believe that she will need you when she awakens."

Karma is cruel. Gambit flirts wit' all de ladies, an' so all de ladies need him at de same time. I got lots o' tricks up my sleeve, but bein' in two places at once isn't one o' dem. De idea dat Rogue actually liked me, trusted me…dat had my head spinnin. How could I abandon a reputation like dat?

But in de end, Belle's life was at stake. I couldn' ignore dat. An' I couldn't live wit' failing dat girl again. I felt so tired. Hate choosin' between two evils. I stood up.

"I'm sorry, Professor. But I'm not an X-man. I got to go."

Xavier smiled, but I could tell he was disappointed.

"Very well Gambit."

I turned to go, but stopped again. I don't know what it is about de Professor, but when you let him down it's awful hard to shrug off.

"I want you to know dat I hope to come back…dat I want to come back."

"There will always be a place for you, Gambit. I do believe I'll make an X-man of you yet. We'll be waiting to hear from you."

"One more t'ing?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like to borrow a plane."

15


	8. Chapter 8

The white was so bright ah could hardly open mah eyes

The white was so bright ah could hardly open mah eyes. The windows were open, lettin' the noon day sun hit the whitewashed walls like a train. Mah head was poundin', and after one quick look ah squinted mah eyes tight against the day. Ah opened mah mouth ta speak but found mah throat was drier than Arizona in July and mah tongue was swollen inside.

_Where am ah? What's goin on?_

Ah had some kinda nightmare dancin' on the edge of mah memory, but every time ah tried to grab an image out of the jumble it drifted away like ashes in water. So ah just laid still and took deep breaths.

After a while ah tried opening mah eyes again, this time more slowly. The light still stung, but a few seconds allowed me to look around the room.

Ah heard a gasp. "Rogue??"

Rogue? Rogue. That name. Mah name. Ah was so confused. All mah thoughts were a mess. Ah couldn't get them in order, what with bein' so tired.

Ah turned mah head, and ah saw a face. It was a girl; a pretty, young girl. What was this girl to me? Why did ah feel such a sense of dread at such a sweet, open face?

"Oh my god you're awake! Oh Rogue say something!"

"Kitty." Yeah, that was it, Kitty. Where did ah know her from?

"Listen, I know you, like, just woke up but I'm really glad that I'm here with you. I need to say something to you and I was afraid I wouldn't get to but now you're awake so I can. Rogue I'm so sorry. For everything. I know I made it really hard on you coming here, and, like, I didn't even think about it. Sometimes I don't think about things. It's like I just start feeling angry or sad and I can't do anything else. Do you understand what I mean?"

No. Maybe. Kinda. Ah was too tired to wrap mah brain around a girl that talks so fast.

"Can ah have some water?"

"Oh! Oh sure! One second!" Kitty scuttled off.

Slowly ah started really wakin' up, but even though ah was feelin' conscious ah was still a little confused. Ah propped mahself up in the bed and tried stretchin' mah arms, get some blood pumpin. Dang. Felt like mah whole body was sore.

Kitty came back with the water.

"Here, I put some ice in it."

"Thanks, sugah." Ah still hadn't quite figured out if this girl was mah friend or not, but ah'd have just about kissed anybody who brought me that first glass of water. The cold was refreshing and the water soothed mah throat. Ah closed mah eyes and took a few large gulps, then put the glass to mah forehead.

When ah opened mah eyes, ah remembered a little bit. Kitty wasn't mah friend at all. She didn't even like me a little.

"Why are ya bein' so nice ta me, Kitty?"

"That's what I've been trying to explain. See, Rogue, it was Colossus…"

"Colossus?" Another semi-familiar name. Oh yeah, big guy. Ah remembered him.

"Yes…look I know its stupid, but I really like Piotr. I know he doesn't like me that way, he probably does even notice, but…I'm kinda protective of him. I mean I know he's a big guy and he can take care of himself, but sometimes he just doesn't have a clue, y'know? Like he's this little kid with big blue eyes trapped in a huge metal body."

"Men typically know little more than they're told." Ah shook mah head. That voice wasn't even mah accent. Kitty didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah well…almost nothing ever hurts him really. I mean he is Colossus and all…but when you were with the Brotherhood…you hurt him. He'd never so much as taken a scratch before, and he came back pale and unconscious. We were all confused, trying to figure out what you had done and how we could help him. I never saw him like that before, and it scared me. So when the Professor just welcomed you in with open arms I didn't even give you a chance. I was so mad at you, and I wasn't going to give you another chance to hurt Piotr. And I never really thought about what things must be like for you, not being able to touch people, having your family throw you out and stuff."

She sort of blushed at me, not sure if she was overstepping a boundary. Touch. What about touch? Something important.

"Well at least I didn't think about it until now. But Rogue, what you did to save the Professor and Beast and everybody…that was amazing. Who could have doubts about you now? I mean I think Gambit thought you were going to die. I don't know if I could have done it, y'know? I really don't. And you've been asleep for all these weeks and god…your face when you got here. I never saw anything like it. But you're ok now and you're back. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I understand if you're still mad. I was really mean and hurtful to you, but I just hope that maybe we can start fresh. I'd like a chance to prove that I can be a really good friend too."

"Thanks foah yoah apology. Ah appreciate it. We can talk about all this a little later, but honestly Kitty right now ah'm havin' a little trouble thinkin' straight."

"Oh sure sure. Relax, rest, I'll leave you alone for a while." Kitty jumped up to go. Why she had to do everything in hyperspeed ah just don't understand. But Gambit…that name was ringing some chimes. The pieces were startin' ta fall into place foah me. Sinister had me strapped to a table. People kept grabbin' me.

"Kitty?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you ask Gambit to come see me when he has a minute?"

"Oh…well Gambit left a couple days ago."

"What?" Ah couldn't quite keep the surprise out of mah voice.

"Yeah. He told the Professor he had something that he had to take care of by himself and he just left."

"When's he comin' back?"

"Nobody knows. He didn't say if he was coming back or not." With that she shrugged, turned and left.

Ah don't know what reaction ah shoulda had to that news. Maybe ah shoulda been disappointed, sad. Maybe ah shoulda just been surprised and not cared either way. Instead, ah felt wrath borderin' on rage. A swell of anger came up tight in mah stomach and made a hard knot that ah couldn' swallow. Mah hands were shakin, the works. Even ah didn't understand why ah was so mad, so ah just laid down and closed mah eyes. Eventually ah must've fallen back to sleep.

Gambit was gone for eight months. EIGHT MONTHS. Not a word. Frankly, ah gave up on him.

A lot happened in those eight months. Ah graduated high school and turned 20. Between becomin' a mutant, the Brotherhood, and the X-men, ah was a little behind in mah schoolwork even though mah grades were always good. So what?

Ah stopped bein' such an outcast. After mah stunt with Sinister, it was like all the problems were magically gone. Jub'lee started treatin' me like her own personal hero, Kitty stayed true to her word, moved me inta her room, and ah could hardly be separated from her. Bobby remained mah friend just like he always did, but he seemed more relaxed, like he wasn't worried about bein' seen with me anymore. I was finally being treated like a real X-woman by the rest of the team. Mostly anyway.

No one knew what to expect from me after what happened. Everyone was nicer now, but it was almost like they were looking at me in a glass box, like one of those bugs on display. Ah didn't much care foah it.

Logan came back about two weeks after ah woke up, and won back a load of brownie points when he didn't react to the Sinister story. The Professor, Jean, Scott, and even Nightcrawler were sort of handling me with kit gloves, but Logan just listened, called Scott an idiot, and then shrugged it off. Logan doesn't waste energy. Clearly ah was fine now, so why should he work himself up? It was exactly what ah was hopin' foah. Somebody to treat me like a regular person again.

But anything that looks rosy on the outside is usually festering underneath. They weren't altogether wrong about me being a little fragile, much as ah hate ta admit it. Mah mind was a wreck. It took me weeks to be able to get some sort of handle on how much of the stuff in mah head was me and how much was everyone else.

Ah started havin' serious trouble sleepin'. Ah'd doze off just fine, but ah could never stay asleep foah long. One night in particular, ah woke up and came downstairs to the main hall. Without thinkin' about it, ah sat down at the piano to kill some time. Logan came in behind me, back from a late night out.

"Didn't know ya played, darlin'. Where'd ya learn?"

Ah stopped. Ah looked down at mah hands, and ah almost didn't even recognize 'em.

"Ah don't. Ah never learned." It was Gorgeous George that played the piano. His momma made him take lessons until he was 14.

Ah got up and left the room. Logan didn't say anything, and he didn't follow. Good, I didn't want him to. He's pretty good at pickin' up on things like that. I went back upstairs, angry and upset, and remembered that there was a bottle of whiskey in the library cabinet. I went and poured mahself a shot, and tossed it back, ready for the soothing calm that would make mah mind rest a little easier. Instead, mah throat lit on fire and ah started chokin'. Why? Cause ah don't drink. Ruckus drinks, particularly when he's upset. Ah grabbed the glass and threw it as hard as ah could. Unfortunately Carol Danvers has quite a throw, and ah punched a hole through the wall. Somebody screamed on the other side.

This is the kind of thing ah was dealin' with. Some days were worse than others. It wasn't just things ah would do, but things ah would think and say and remember.

Logan ran in behind me.

"Rogue?"

"Take me outta here Logan."

"Come on."

Ah was wearing mah pajamas, but ah didn't care. We went outside and over to the motorcycle.

"Give me the keys. Ah'm drivin'."

"You sure that's a great idea?"

"_Mais oui_." Dammit! The Cajun was leaking. Ah snatched the keys and we jumped on the bike.

Ah can't even count how many road laws ah must've broken. Ah just wanted to go fast. Sometimes that's what you need to get somethin' out of yoah system. So we went fast, and we went off road, and we rode through a rain storm, just kept going, didn't talk. A few hours later we pulled back in, covered in dust and mud, but ah had calmed down.

"Ah'm gonna go take a shower."

"Rogue…"

"What Logan?"

"You know if you ask me for somethin', anythin', I'll try my best to get it to ya. If ya need to talk, I'll listen to ya. I'm not good at it but I'll try. If you need to drive the heck outta my bike a few nights a week, that's fine too. I can't understand a lot of what seems to be happenin' to ya, darlin', but I understand bein' mad. I don't want you to feel like that forever."

"Ah can handle it."

"Did I say ya couldn't? I just said I didn't want ya to."

"Ah wish ah could talk to you about it, all right? Ah wish ah knew why ah was so mad. Ah just don't know what to say. Yoah no good at listenin' and ah'm no good at talkin'."

"A perfect pair."

Pair. That stupid word just made me think of poker. No, it just made Gambit think of poker. But his thoughts were buried somewhere in mine. Ah clenched mah fists, so mad ah could scream.

"Ah'm mad at Sinister. Ah'm mad at Vertigo, Ramrod, all of them. They raped mah mind! And ah don't know if it can ever be undone. How am ah supposed to cope with that? Livin' every day with people ah hate?"

"Same way I live in the same house with ol' one-eye-eagle-scout."

Ah chuckled. Ah couldn't help it. Logan's humor suits me. His sharp eyes were still watchin' me though.

"Ah'm mad at Gambit."

"Fer touchin ya?"

"No. Maybe. Ah don't know. Ah could just kill him foah some reason and ah don't know exactly why it is. Ah'm even more mad at him than Sinister ah think."

"Did he try something I don't know about?"

"No Logan, it's not like that. Ah just don't know. Ah'm so confused about everything. Ah'd like to say ah just want things to get back to normal, but ah hated that too when ah think about it."

"I have to admit darlin' this ain't makin' much sense to me."

"Ah know. Doesn't make sense to me either. But ah'm tired now. Ah'm gonna go to bed."

"Go ahead. Just you keep that offer in mind. You need somethin', you tell me."

"Thanks Logan. But mostly you not treating me like a crazy person is makin' mah day."

Ah was going to therapy with the Professor and Jean. It helped sometimes, but it wasn't like magic. They kept tellin' me to give it some time. Sure enough, as time went by the attacks became less frequent. Turns out the more often ah thought about the people in mah head, the more often they came ta life. So ah had to learn ways of distractin' mahself until the influences had worn off a little more. This was all easier said than done, of course. Not to mention ah really don't like having telepaths poking around mah head. Both Jean and the Prof complained that there were places ah had sealed off, maybe even ta mahself, as though navigating mah mind while there were about a dozen other trains of thought in there wasn't tough enough.

The Professor had apparently learned a good chunk more about mah powers from the whole experience. Ah guess that was supposed to be some kinda silver lining. He hinted at having big plans foah me once ah'd made a full recovery. He also stressed how important it was foah me to eventually confront Carol and barter some kind of peace. Where all the other personalities eventually fade into shadows, Carol's practically glows. She remained a threat, and each time she escaped the astral trap the professor placed her in, she grew in strength. Ah wasn't ready foah it, and ah had mah doubts that peace with Carol was even possible. So the Professor left it alone and we focused on getting me back ta normal, though that task wasn't much easier.

Ah took to the danger room an awful lot more than ah used to. It was a way to blow off steam, and one of the few ways ah could really get mah mind clear foah even a few minutes. Ah guess my mental stow-aways realized that if this body blew up we all go down with it, so they tended to shut up and let me work.

Hank, danger room technician extraordinaire, was actually pleased with how often ah managed to break the dang thing. He loves an excuse to upgrade. Ah love an excuse to break something. And the dark truth is, ah think his constant references to books no one's ever read are quite endearing.

But one thing Hank hates is a back seat technician.

"Hank, dangit, turn it up. This is too easy foah me! I told ya already it was easy as pie, now you've apparently set it foah cheesecake instead. Gimme the meat already!"

"Jibe me all you like, Rogue, your vital signs tell a completely different story. I thought you may actually wish to complete an objective before obliterating the danger room this morning."

"Ah'm tellin' ya to set it higher. Ah already fought these robots, ah can take 'em two hits apiece. Ah'm supposed to be learnin something. Gimme a challenge."

"Rogue, both you and the danger room have limitations."

"Thought you just upgraded it. Still feels pretty stale."

Ah thought he might choke. Ah saw his hands jump to the dials, which was just what ah was aiming foah.

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls." He warned.

The warehouse scenario faded out abruptly, leaving just the grey metals walls of the danger room with lights somewhere overhead. It was only a few seconds before the room melted away, and ah was left standing on a rooftop, the lights of a city twinkling somewhere below.

Ah felt the hair bristle on the back on mah neck and ah spun around just in time to see Sabretooth leaping towards me befoah he pummeled me to the floor. That's more like it. Ah lifted mah knees with enough force to lift him off me and send him up over mah head. Ah had just found mah feet and turned ta face him when a long, green tongue wrapped itself around mah wrist, yankin me back around. Toad's powers have always made me a little squeamish. Once ah'd got mah balance back, ah dug mah heels in and yanked as hard as ah could, and Toad went sprawling through the air, just surprised enough to let my hand go.

Ah heard Sabretooth roaring up behind me and ah ducked his clutches, managing to trip him up at the same time. Toad's tongue swung back out and ah managed to side step and catch it, swinging the little green guy down onto Sabretooth's chest. Ah had half a second to wonder what it felt like to be swung around by the tongue befoah something zipped by me, popping me in the chin. Ah recognized Quicksilver's signature breeze. He zipped back and forth, taking small jabs, but while Quicksilver can move at jet speed, one thing he can't do is fly. So ah lifted up out of his reach, and yanked up one of the pole lights on the roof. Once mah eyes had gotten the pattern of the blur zipping around, ah timed mah swing and managed to clothesline him. He stopped running and hit the ground, choking but now visible.

"Hi there handsome." Ah thought, satisfied. Unfortunately that was the moment the battle decided to turn against me. A cold slime hit mah face, completely blinding me. Ah started scraping at the stuff instinctively, but it's a real pain to get Toad's spit off. In the time that took, ah felt his tongue grab mah ankle, pulling me back down to the roof. Ah pulled back as hard as ah could, but apparently ah'd gotten down just low enough to be within reach of the hulking Sabretooth, who pulled me down and started raking me over with those claws of his. Quicksilver started runnin' up a vortex around us, sucking the air away. Turns out Sabretooth can hold his breath a little longer than ah can.

Ah mustered all the air ah had left. "Turn it off!" A moment later everything vanished back to the grey metal walls. Mah suit had taken quite a beating, though it was nothing compared to mah pride. Ah hate losing.

Ah stormed out towards the locker room, ignoring Hank's inquiries. Ah knew it was childish, but ah couldn't help it. But ah guess me getting so upset created an opportune moment foah the lurkers. Ah went to open the combination lock so ah could change back into mah everyday clothes, and it froze solid. Yeah, ah absorbed Bobby Drake back in mah Brotherhood days. Ah got quite a few X-men logged away someplace. Mah first instinct was to break something, but ah decided to heed the professor's advice instead. Ah sat down on one of the locker room benches and took deep breaths. Ah tried to think of one simple thing, one thing to focus on, drown everything else out. Ah chose an apple. It was the first thing that leapt to mind. Ah tried bringing into focus every detail about it, drowning out any other thoughts or feelings. And then to compromise, ah mentally smashed the apple, and then started to focus on every details of the abused fruit, broken skin and gushing juice.

"Rogue are you all right?"

Slowly, carefully, ah opened mah eyes.

"Yeah Hank. Ah'm ok. Ah'm sorry but ah think ah broke one of the locks."

Hank started to smile. "Not one of my very expensive wal-mart issue combination locks? That was irreplaceable! Why couldn't you have just smashed the multi-million dollar danger room?"

Ah couldn't help but smile back. But when Hank actually looked at the lock, his smile turned into a perplexed frown.

"Hasn't it gotten any better?"

"Any better than what is the question. Ah guess it's better than it was, but this kinda stuff still crops up. Ah'm startin to think it'll never go away."

Hank came and sat beside me. Ah braced mahself for some kinda "have faith in the professor" type speech.

"You know Rogue, telepathy is not among my talents, and I certainly will not pretend to identify with your personal experiences, but every now and again I find that I myself get a little lost in this mutant business."

Ah raised an eyebrow at him, beckoning him to continue.

"You see, our lives here revolve so much around our mutations. Being an X-man requires us to train and utilize our mutant abilities for the good of others and ourselves, to be aware of mutant/human relations, advocate mutant rights, and ultimately represent the best potential of mutant-kind. Being teachers at the institute has us constantly referring to and sharing our dilemmas specifically as they relate to being a mutant. At times, I find myself forgetting that being a mutant is merely one thread of my life, rather than its entire fabric. Do you follow?"

"So you're saying ah should spend less time being a mutant?"

"Not in so much a literal sense, but yes. There are many mutants in the world, and I am certainly one of them. However, the world's scientists are not so numerous, nor scholars of literary classics. My interests, my personal passions, these are what make me, essentially, me. Not to oversimplify, but my understanding is that you're in need of some 'you' time. So why don't you spend some quality time with yourself? Develop your own interests and skills apart from being an X-woman. Stop busting up my danger room so often. You've nearly maxed out the school's annual budget for danger room repair."

"You know what Hank? Yoah pretty smart."

"I shall take that glowing endorsement as a sign that I have been at least marginally helpful."

He gave me one last reassuring smile befoah he rose to leave. But ah couldn't resist.

"Hank?"

"Yes?"

"If ah ever get mah powers under control…could ah pet ya? Ah've always wanted to know what that fur of yoahs feels like."

Hank started sputtering and ah started laughing.

"You can sleep on it if you want to sugah."

Hank "harrumphed" and left the room, and ah when ah stopped giggling ah realized he had a point. Now to remember what in the heck mah interests were. It really had been an awful long time since ah'd thought about things like hobbies.

Ah took his advice, and ah started spending more time away from the mansion. If ah couldn't remember what mah hobbies were, maybe ah'd find some new ones.

At the end of eight months, ah looked and felt different. Between bein' unhappy and the danger room, I lost a lot of weight. Maybe even a little too much weight, but ah wasn't concerned with it. Ah cut mah hair shorter to keep it out of mah way, and started collectin' wigs. Mystique gets antsy when she has to keep one form for long, which made it difficult to keep her quiet in mah head when ah couldn't shapeshift. That, and ah didn't want people lookin' at me funny foah mah stripes when ah left the mansion. Ah hate dying mah hair, so wigs it was. Ah make a great redhead. Black doesn't look too bad on me either.

Mah wardrobe changed from sweats to more appealing attire. Ah retired the sweats, sweaters, and baggy clothes foah layers of actual women's clothing where you could see mah figure underneath. Ah also started wearin' makeup. Maybe ah was growin' up, or maybe ah was responding to Vertigo's vanity. Hard to say, but ah was pickin' mah battles. It had been less than a year, but ah had several different lifetimes floatin' around in mah head, makin me feel older than ah was.

Eight months of quiet is more than any X-man deserves, and fate remembered me at last. Ah had gone out foah a walk. When ah say "walk" ah mean "fly". The night air was clear and clean, and ah liked watchin' mah breath frost in the cold air. Ah'm a southern girl, the whole concept of winter is interestin' ta me. The wonderful thing about the night sky in winter is how clear the stars are. If you stand outside on a clear night and look straight up, you almost get dizzy from the panorama. If yoah lucky enough to be able to fly, you can have a blanket of stars above ya, and a blanket of city lights below. If you spin fast enough it's like being inside a kaleidoscope. This particular night was late November, and many of the city streets already had their Christmas lights up, adding to the illusion that the world was made of glass.

Ah was hopin' to wear mahself out enough that ah could actually sleep through a whole night. Once ah'd had enough wind and cold, ah crept back in through mah window. The Professor had gotten a little leery of me wanderin' by mahself all the time, so ah just did it less conspicuously. Ah pulled the window shut behind me as quietly as ah could, so as not to wake Kitty, befoah plopping down on mah bed. But when mah head hit the pillow, it made a strange crinkling sound. Ah sat back up and looked underneath, where ah found a blank white envelope.

Ah poked mah head out into the hall, but there was no one to be seen, so ah closed the door and went to see what it could be.

When ah opened it two things fell out: a piece of paper of paper that said "come alone" above some numbers that looked like coordinates, and a playing card…king of hearts.

11


	9. Chapter 9

It was all too familiar

**Hiya folks!**

**Thanks for reading! I've enjoyed the helpful reviews and glad to see so many following along!**

**Bologna21 – Thanks for the anonymous review advice! I'm new to the site and didn't realize you had to enable it. Very helpful! Glad you're enjoying!**

**Crack 4 sure – Thanks for pointing out the Kitty error. For those who missed it, I claimed Kitty teleported, rather than phased in chapter 2. Whoopsie daisies. I get a little too excited sometimes. ;P I'll try to be better about getting my facts straight. Everyone needs an editor, thanks for the help!**

**gambitfan85 – glad you're enjoying the story! I promise Belle is not going to ruin everything. Basically I'm using this twist to get Remy and Rogue alone together for a little bit. Only a few chapters and we'll head back up to New York to get this show on the road! **

It was all too familiar. Twisted oaks windin' up outta murky water, seeming to bend undah the weight o' the moss that hung off like a heavy curtain, the musky smell o' swamp water and ol' trees. Even in November, Louisiana couldn' get cold enough to ward off the toads, crickets and cicadas makin' a racket in de brush. Every so often we pass a small house or cabin along the banks and a whole host of critters would be swarmin' the lanterns. Critters never seem to get bored with lanterns.

De air hung heavy all around, and to me it was a mos' comfortable blanket. Say what you wan' to bout Cajun country, but s' always gon' hold a special place in _mon coeur_. S' my home, plain an' simple. As de little johnboat wound its way through the shallow water, I realized jus' how much I missed dis place. Five years wit'out Mardi Gras. Now dat's a shame. I couldn' help but wonder if Mardi Gras missed me too. We were such a great team, she an' I. If only dat Ash Wednesday wouldn' get in de way.

Fin'ly we drew near de place. De home o' de T'ieves Guild don' look like much from de outside, and dat's deliberate. Still looks big, but it looks old and rickety, like it ain't been lived in fo' a long time. Look like a place you might need to get a tetanus shot befo' you go inside. Appearances can be deceivin', an deceivin'… why dat's a t'ieve's forte.

I knew what lay beyond the rotten siding an' rusted rails. De place was big, beautiful, well lit, decorated wit' de finest taste. I could walk around dat place blindfolded, and had to a couple o' times. Ah grew up here. Dis was de only place ol' Gambit had ever called home. De only place dat I'd ever been happy.

_Merde_. Dere was still a part of me dat was happy to be back, even after everyt'ing, after all dat happened. Dat same part dat wanted to run in wit' a big smile an' hold ev'rybody tight. Ev'rybody's got a Peter Pan hidden somewhere. But not dis time. Not ever again. Remy done grown up, an found out dat a spade's a spade.

I jumped out o' de boat, pullin' it up onto de shore so as not to lose it. I doubted I'd be leavin' again anytime soon, but hey, here's hopin'.

"Ya really came. I'd wondered if ya would." That deep husky voice poured out like honey. I knew it could be both soothin' and intimidatin', dependin' on de situation.

"You didn' leave me no choice. And if ya hadn't been expectin' me I wouldn't have gotten dis far wit'out bein' stopped." I turned to face Jean-Luc LeBeau, leader o' de T'ieves Guild…my papa.

"Choice? What choice did you leave _me_, _petit vaurien_? (Little rascal) I was startin' to t'ink you never come back." Dat's what he always called me as a kid. What's he t'inkin'? Dat playin' cutsy was gon' make ev'rything go away?

"Don't call me dat Jean-Luc. I ain't so little anymore. And you coulda let me be. I wasn't gonna come back. And next chance I get, I'm leavin' again." He hates it dat I call him Jean-Luc. De day after it happened, I stopped callin' him papa. Haven't called him dat since.

"You can never leave really, can ya, Remy? No matter where you go, no matter how far ya wander, de bayou, de big easy, dey keep callin. Yo' a t'ief Remy. Always have been, always will be. Yo' only makin' dis harder on yo'self."

"No. Yo' makin' it harder on yo'self. Remy is not a t'ief. Dis is not Remy's home. You ain't Remy's father. While you busy bein' exactly de same, lots o' t'ings have changed. What was, ain't. And dere's no goin' back. Yo' a bad man, Jean-Luc LeBeau. I'll be damned if I turn out like you. So you best be tellin' me what ya want so we can get dis over wit'."

We only hurt de ones we love I guess. Anger is mos' potent when s' mixed wit' hurt. Jean-Luc done hurt me in ways ya can't say sorry fo'. De damnable t'ing is, I still loved him.

His jaw tightened and his eyes turned to slate. Guess de pleasantries are over.

"De T'ieves Guild is not'ing to sneer at Remy. We still got our pride. An' you are one o' us. I'm keepin' Belle till you realize dat."

"Quoi?"

"She ain't harmed. She ain't gonna be harmed. Unless you decide to leave."

"How long you plannin' on keepin' her?"

"Till you take de oath." De oath. De one dat would bind me as de heir to de T'ieves Guild. Jean-Luc wanted me to be his successor. Dere was a time when I considered it. Dat time had passed.

"Jean-Luc why can' you jus' let dis go? You got a house full o' scamps who would jump at dat chance, I already tol' ya no. What's is gonna take?"

"I'm not going to take no fo' an answer. It's not a matter o' who wants to be de next leader. It's a matter o' who I choose. I chose you. I'm willing to do what it takes to make you change yo' mind."

"I'm not changin' my mind!"

"Yes you are. You can take yo' time about it if ya want to, but dat's longer dat Belle's gon' be away from home. In de meantime you live here, eat here, and you get back to living de t'ief life. You'll come 'round."

Dis man makes me so mad I could charge up his pants jus' to hear him squeal. "Where is Belle?"

"Why in de hell would I tell you dat?"

"Cause you need ta prove dat you got her, and you haven't hurt her."

"Ah. Missed de femme did ya? I know she missed you."

"No. I didn' miss any o' ya. But I got a responsibility ta her."

"You be seein' her once a month. You never know where she's kept. First visit is tomorrow, so you better come in an' get yo' beauty rest."

Too mad to say much else, I shoved my fists inta my pockets and stormed past him towards de house.

"Remy, dere's one mo' t'ing I need ta say."

I stopped but I didn't turn around.

"What?"

"Remy I'm sorry. I never knew…I never meant fo' you to be caught up in dat."

We bot' knew what he was talking about. Sinister. I spun around.

"Dat, comin from you, comin like dis, means not'ing to me. You say sorry cause you wan' me to fo'give you, not cause you mean it. _Non! Je ne vous pardonnerai jamais!_ _Vous n'etes rien a moi!_ (I'll never forgive you! You are nothing to me!)"

Ev'ry man has his sensitive spots. Even me. What happened between me and Sinister…that's one thing I'll never learn to keep calm about.

"Remy I need ya. Can't you figure dat much out? We were dere fo' you when you needed us, remember dat?"

I didn't listen, just kept walkin' toward de house. I opened de doors to a hero's welcome. Dere dey all were. _Ma famille_. Tante Mattie, Henri, Mercy, Emil. But I had Morlock faces swimmin' in front o' mine, faces I fought ev'ry day to keep from my t'oughts. I stormed past all o' dem wit'out a word, up de stairs and to my room. My feet still knew de way wit'out t'inkin about it. I slammed de door shut behind me, but den I heard a sound dat surprised me out o' my own reverie. A baby started cryin'.

Baby cries are a strange t'ing. You hear de sound, and you got to find out where it's comin' from. Make sure de little one is ok. Even if yo' in an airport, you hear de _bebe_, you look round, once you see de parents holdin' dem, you go back about yo' business, but not before.

De sound was comin' from de room next ta mine. Used to be Etienne's. I walked in and turned on de lights. De room was completely different. In place o' de posters, magazine's, and dirty laundry, dere were teddy bears holdin' balloons on de wall, toys in ev'ry corner. Against de wall by de window was a crib, and inside dat crib was de screamer. I made my way over dere, unsure o' what to do. I don' have a whole lot o' experience wit' babies.

"Hey dere lil one. You all right. Remy didn' mean ta wake ya. Stop all dat racket an' go back to sleep, petit."

I patted him on de head, and he opened his eyes to look at me, still clenchin' his baby fists, gasping fo' breath. But den a hand came up on my shoulder, gently pullin' me away. It was my bruddah, Henri.

He kinda gave me an unsure smile, and den went to de bebe, scoopin' him up outta de crib like it was de mos' natural t'ing in de world.

"Hey now, _Sebastien, tranquillite, s'il te plait. Tu dois dormir maintenant. _(Sebastian, quiet please. You must sleep now.)"

He bounced de bebe around de room until he quieted down, lying still on Henri's shoulder. I was astounded. Didn't take Charles Xavier to realize dat dis was Henri's child.

"Yo a papa."

"And yo' an oncle."

I missed it. I missed de birth o' my bruddah's child. I guess I naively jus' sort of assumed dat not'ing would ever change at dis place, whether I was dere nor not. Now I was realizing for de first time dat I was missin' de lives o' my family as much as dey were missin' mine. But den, dis wasn't really my family.

Henri carefully laid little Sebastien back in de crib, and motioned fo' me to go to my room. I did as I was told. Henri followed me but stopped in de doorway.

"I'm not gonna keep you up Remy. I know yo' not in de mood to talk. And I know yo' not happy to be here. But I do wan' you to know dat I'm happy yo' here. I missed ya, and I'm mad at ya fo' makin' me miss ya. Ya weren't dere when Mercy an' me got married. Ya weren't dere when I found out dat I was gonna be a papa. Ya weren't dere when Tante Mattie had cancer. Ya weren't dere when Emil went to jail fo' two years. You gotta undahstand, we mad at you too. You were part of our family. But families, dey love one annuddah unconditionally. No matter what. And no matter what you do, you always gon' be my _petit frere_. And what I wan' mos' fo' you is ta be happy. I'm on yo' side in all dis. So whatever decision you make, you let me in on it, I'll support you. But Remy Lebeau, you leave me in de dark again and I'm gonna hunt you down an' rough you up, you hear?"

"Henri –,"

He raised a hand ta stop me.

"We got time fo' talkin'. Go to sleep. We got t'ings to do tomorrow."

I didn' sleep dat night. I stayed up, t'inkin. I t'ought about all de mem'ries in dis place, all dese faces dat still meant somet'ing to me. De truth was, I wasn' all dat surprised to be back. I knew I needed to get out o' dere when I did, but the idea that I never intended to come back is a little bit o' a lie. I hadn't really t'ought dat far at all. All I knew is: I never intended to come back '_gainst my will_. But here I was anyway, and I wasn' ready to be back. So rather than dwell on all dis confusin' nostalgia, I turned my t'oughts to how I was gonna get out o' here. Long as dey had Belle, I couldn' go. So free Belle, free myself. I had ta find out where dey were keepin' her.

Dat proved easier said dan done. T'ieves are tricky people, I'll give dem dat. We met once a month, as promised, but I was always taken blindfolded and couldn't so much as find a whiff o' Belle dat Jean-Luc didn't mean me to.

Seein' Belle was an experience. I was dreadin' it. Belle was technically my wife, but we'd spend less than 12 hours o' our married life together, and it had been five years since dat. Soon as we were found out, bot' guilds came a-callin. Belle's bruddah, Julien from the assassins guild, was de one dat found us. Were weren't armed. He didn' care. We started scrappin', and he pulled a sword on me. Julien Boudreaux was a sight to behold wit' a sword. Might be de mos' scared I've ever been in my life. I didn' want to fight him. I didn't want to hurt him. Belle and I naively hoped dat our marriage would unite de guilds, stop all dis fightin' and killin' and warmongerin'. Later, I realized dat I was more in love wit' de idea of unitin' de guilds dan I was wit' Belle.

I kept dodgin' him, throwing punches here and dere, but Julien was one fast _homme_. Fin'ly he landed a blow, slashin' me in de ribs. I staggered back, and fell. He raised his arm in front o'him, gettin' ready to do me in. I raised my feet to kick him in de elbow, deflect de blow. But den Belle, who hadn't known what to do wit' her husband and bruddah fightin' dis way, screamed at Julien. It was jus' enough to grab his attention. His head turned and his arm lowered. When my kick connected….dat sword…it didn't go where it was supposed to.

Dere was blood everywhere. Belle started screamin' an screamin'. Julien staggered inta her arms, blood from his torn throat coatin' her hands and clothes. I hadn't so much as been in a scrap since de Morlocks. I couldn' live wit' what happened in dose tunnels…what I allowed to happen. All dose lives on my conscience…I knew it was one experience I never wanted to know again. Yet now here was someone else, dead by my hand.

I never wanted to kill anybody. I hate killin'. Still my soul is dirty. Can' never be clean ag'in. It's like dere's somet'ing inside me dat's just evil, dat can't be contained. Like my destiny is full of death and decay, and no matter what I choose, dere's no escapin' it.

Belle and I were so young. I was 20, and she's turned 18 not less than a month before. I didn' know what to do. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could. Didn' take anyt'ing wit' me. Didn' say goodbye to anybody. I'd stayed gone all dis time. Hadn't seen or spoken to Belle since.

Yet de mornin' after I arrived, here I was, standin' in front o' her again. De guards were standin' a ways off, blockin' any way of escapin', but givin' me an Belle a little privacy at de same time.

She had grown up, but she was still de same Belle I remembered. Blonde tresses wavin' down a lil' ways past her shoulder, clear ivory complexion makin' de blue o' her sapphire eyes all de more intense. She was still petite, but her curves had filled out.

"You look beautiful, Belle."

"Dat all you can t'ink to say?"

I shrugged. Kinda hard to start a conversation on dis footing. She kept lookin' at me, searchin' fo' somet'ing in my face, but I don' know what.

"Why'd you leave me, Remy?"

"Chere…"

"I've waited an awful long time to know. I know why ya left to begin wit', but why ya never came back fo'me?"

"Didn' t'ink you'd wan' to see me."

"Remy, what happened was an accident. And if it hadn't happened, Julien woulda killed you. I miss my bruddah, and I'm so sad dat he's gone, but as much as I'd like to I jus' can' blame you fo' it, any mo' than you should be blamin' yo'self."

I shrugged again. I haven't quite sorted out my feelings on dis subject, so I didn' have much to add to de conversation.

"I'm glad yo' back, Remy."

I looked up at her. Of all t'ings I might have expected, dis wasn' one o' dem.

"You know, I've worn yo' ring all dis time."

Oh surely she can' be sayin' dis.

"I t'ought maybe you forgot all about me. But you came back, jus' ta come to my rescue. Dat means you mus' still care, at least a little."

She came closer to me. I stepped back.

"Belle you can' be serious."

She frowned.

"Remy yo' still my husband."

"Belle…I care bout you, s' true. But a lot has happened between den and now."

"I don' care bout dat. You're here now, wit' me."

"You got to listen to me, chere. I'm not gonna let anyt'ing bad happen to you, but I'm not yo' husband. De guilds will never let us be together, and even if dey would, dis is not de life I wan'."

"Den we start a new life, together."

"Belle, chere. You've grown from a pretty, sweet girl into a beautiful, noble woman. Dere's no man dat wouldn' bend over backwards to be wit' you. An' you deserve a man who's gonna love you unconditionally, wit' his whole heart, who's gonna make you de whole reason fo' his livin'. Belle, I ain't de one. And you ain't de one fo' me. I pinned all my hopes fo' a better life fo' my family on you, and I'm sorry. I fooled myself inta t'inking dat I loved you, but I didn't really, not dat way. I'm so sorry fo' dat. I wish I could make it diff'rent, but now de best I can do is be honest wit' you. Now I'm not going anywhere till I know yo' safe, but once you are, dat's all."

Big tears welled up in dose blue eyes, but she blinked dem away and looked at me all de harder.

"No Remy. You and I are jus' beginning. What we shared was somet'ing special. You jus' need a lil mo' time to remember."

I sighed.

"Can' say I didn't try."

Mos' o' my time wit' Belle was spent dis way. She kept reminiscin' bout de past, and I kept tryin' to convince her dat de past was jus' dat: de past.

Rest o' de time I spent doin' t'ief business. Why people keep bringin' high profile artifacts and jewelry to de big easy is beyond me. But easy come, easy go, I always say.

There were a few odd t'ings bout my situation dat I didn' understand. Months passed, an' dere was no noise from de Assassins. Belle is high rankin' femme in de Assassins Guild, so why dey keepin' so quiet? I brought dis up ta Henri, since he was "on my side" and all dat. He says he guessed dey were plannin' somet'ing big, or else dey were afraid o' what would happen ta Belle if dey tried somet'ing. Maybe. Maybe not.

See, T'ieves and Assassins are no stranger to hostage situations. We catch one anuddah, and if we don't kill one anuddah, we bargain. De first t'ing you try is to get de bargainin' chip back. You don' give up not'ing to de uddah Guild. Rule one. Unless o' course I missed somet'ing while I was away.

Dat and my gut started tellin' me dere was somet'in goin on behind closed doors. Whenever de t'ieves finish a heist, we split de loot. Shares are based on performance, involvement, and rank. A certain percentage always goes to de house, somewhere in de neighborhood o' 20 when I was last wit' de Guild. Now Gambit's no whiz at math, but seem like dese days more like 60 was goin' straight back to de house. I asked Jean-Luc bout dat, and he shrugged it off as increased expenses. I've always been suspicious o' a simple answer, particularly since de t'ieves had been more active now den I had ever seen dem.

I consulted wit' Arnaud, who normally keeps de books. I said I wanted to see how de expenses were doin', so I could try an' make up de gap. Books are supposed to be open to all T'ieves. Dey get to know where dere money is goin', but Arnaud tol' me I wasn't allowed, Jean-Luc's orders.

So much fo' dat. I found out where dey were bein' kept and snuck a peek. Mos'ly looked normal, except dere was a new account under liabilities….read H.G.W., and large chunks o' money were going to dis account ev'ry month. I logged dat away fo' anuddah time.

Six months passed and I had made absolutely no progress toward findin' out where dey were keepin' Belle. Dat was strange. Not even a clue? De bayous are big, but dat big? Gambit's good at findin' t'ings dat are hidden. Why couldn' he even pick up a scent? Be nice to have Logan around dese days…

I started to consider strikin' a deal wit de Assassins Guild. If I couldn' find Belle on my own, maybe I could find her wit' help. I was getting' a little desperate, t'inkin o' Belle bein' kept in captivity, away from her family fo' so long.

So one night when I had been sent out to do a little reconnaissance, I made a detour. De plan was to sneak inside and corner jus' one assassin long enough to give dem a message. I had one in mind too: Yves DeGallier. He was young, hot headed, and eager to prove himself. He'd jump at de chance to handle somet'ing himself, and wasn't likely to call fo' help. Moreover, he ain't much to scrap wit. Not yet anyway. Mos' o' dose assassins you jus' don' wan tangle wit'. I swung myself up into de trees around de estate, tryin' ta look into de windows; get an idea o' who all was home.

Dat's when I got a serious surprise. When I looked into de window, I saw Belle. Dey were all dere, havin' a big meetin' o' some kind, dere was no way in wit'out bein' noticed. So I did de only t'ing I could: I left.

_Couldn'a been Belle. Dat don' make no sense_. I t'ought.

But den, dat would explain why de Assassins wasn't after us. But what did dis mean? Particularly, what did dis mean to me? If I left, could Jean-Luc really hurt Belle? Was she really a captive? And if not what was she doin' workin' wit' de T'ieves?

I needed answers. Everyone was keepin' secrets from me. I didn' know who I could trust, or how far dey'd let me push before dey knew I was gettin' suspicious. Somet'ing was up, and Remy was gonna find out what, in a hurry, but how?

Dat's when I t'ought o' it. _Her_. She had a way o' gettin' at secrets wit' or wit'out cooperation. By now she should be right back to normal, jus' like Jean said. Would she come? If I asked her to come here?

If you t'ink dat all dese months went by wit'out me t'inkin about Rogue, you mus' be crazy. I tried not to t'ink about her, dat's true. I had enough on my mind, and I didn't even know if I'd ever see her again, much less how I'd feel if I did.

But I did t'ink about her. An awful lot more dan I wanted. I wondered if she was really ok, if de Professor had been right about her really trustin' me. I wondered what she was doin' all dese months. But most o' all, and much to my dismay, I wondered if she missed me.

Why should she? We'd only known each uddah a few stress filled months. Nevertheless, it had occurred to me on more dan one occasion dat I missed her. I missed beatin' her at rummy, missed her little temper, missed hearin' her say "dang" even.

_Mon dieu, Remy, I t'ink you found a friend_. I t'ought. Friends, real friends don't come along so often fo' me. I don't take it lightly, nor get over it easy. And besides, t'inkin' dat what I felt fo' her was jus' friendship…well, dat made it all de safer fo' me to t'ink soft t'oughts bout her. Since we were friends and all. Friends miss one anuddah when dey apart. Friends would dream about one anuddah now and den. Friends would see each uddah's faces when dey closed deir eyes. Made perfect sense.

So I made up my mind to send fo' Rogue.

She came.

De coordinates I gave her were to restaurant on Bourbon Street. I couldn't very well send her straight to de T'ieves Den. Dat would jus' be stupid. And I figured if de femme is gonna travel all dis way, she might as well enjoy de atmosphere. Cajun Cabin is right in de French quarter, wit live music ev'ry night and real Cajun cookin'. Tourists also keep de place hoppin' at mos' hours o' de night, so s' easy to be inconspicuous. One o' my fav'rite hangouts. Coincedentally, it was also one o' my fav'rite places to take a date. Sheer coincidence.

I was late on purpose. I wanted to see her fo' she saw me. It had been eight long months since I left New York, wit' her sleepin' in de infirmary o' de X-mansion. Part o' me wanted to look her over an' make sure she was really all right. De uddah part jus' wanted to look her over, if you know what I mean.

I wasn' disappointed. De Cajun Cabin Restaurant is two stories, wit' a balcony overlookin de street. Dis is where she chose to sit, much as I suspected. De balconey's wrought iron railing was wrapped two and three times over wit' Christmas lights, givin' her face a candlelight type glow. She sat at a two seater table next to de rail, her arms crossed over her chest, lookin' down at de people on de street.

She looked diff'rent. She was slender, pale as porcelain. She was wearin a red tank top under a black denim jacket, who's sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. O' course, she was also wearin' long, thin black gloves that covered her arms. She'd obviously retired de ol' baggy blue jeans she used ta wear in favor of some tight black black ones dat hugged her hips in all de right places. She crossed one long leg over de uddah one and I had to bite my lip. The jeans were tucked into a pair o' embossed leather boots that came up mid calf, jus de smallest possible heel on dem. Her makeup was light but perfect. Eyeliner with a touch o' coppery eye shadow set off dose August greens and pulled out de red o' her tanktop. A little sheer gloss made her lips seem full and shimmerin, almos' beckonin'. She wore a thin silver chain around her neck with a single charm, barely peeking out the top o' her shirt. What a view it mus' have dere. In one word, she looked hot. Smokin' hot. I wanted ta….well, I did say "one word" didn' I? Movin' on.

Den I noticed de one t'ing dat disappointed me. Her hair was darker dan I remembered, a deep chocolate brown instead o' de coppery auburn, an her white streaks were gone. Dang. She done dyed her hair. I was kinda partial to dose white streaks. But no matter.

After I took an eye full, I sauntered over dere, determined to keep my eyes on her face fo' de rest o' dis affair.

"You lookin' fo me, chere?"

She looked up at me, but de look was less dan…inviting.

"You asked me ta come didn't ya?"

"An' I'm so pleased to see you chere. If you don' mind my sayin', de bayou suits you."

"Bout as well as New York suited you." Was dat..venom? What de hell? De femme hadn't smiled once. I guess I looked a little confused, cause he face softened up jus' a little.

"Gambit, why'd you ask me ta come? You seem to be in one piece."

"You were worried?" I smiled jus' a little and cocked an eyebrow.

"Ah was curious, let's say. But you should be worried, if ya don't get to explainin' yo'self. Ah didn't come all this way just ta make conversation."

I guess maybe de femme hadn't missed me all dat much after all. So I got down to explainin' de situation. She had questions, sure. Didn' know much about de guilds, or de feud, or my fam'ly. Certainly had a lot o' questions bout my wife. I didn' tell her ev'ryt'ing. Jus' what she needed to know. De Morlocks, Julien Boudreaux…she didn't need to hear dat.

"So that's it? You need a favor from me? You want me to use mah powers to get information foah ya?"

"_Exactement_."

To my surprise, her jaw squared off, and her eyes started glitterin' dangerously. It looked like she was gonna say somet'ing, but instead she stood up abruptly, knockin' her chair over, and started stormin' away downstairs. As soon as my surprise wore off I jumped up as ran after her, but she was ignorin' me. She stormed right out de front door and was bout to continue across de street when fin'ly I got a little heated wit' her. I mean really, what was goin on?

"Damn it, woman, stop making Gambit chase you around. What's de matter wit' you?!"

She stopped and turned on me, de wrath o' hell in her eyes.

"What's the matter with me? You wanna know what's the matter with me?"

Well…kinda..now maybe not. She started stompin' over ta me, and truth be told I t'ought she was gonna hit me. I stood dere cool like, lettin' her make her move. Instead o' punchin' my lights out, she grabbed the lapels o' my jacket and lifted me in de air. Guess it's a good t'ing I'm not scared o' heights. She flew me a few miles off from de starin' crowd, not sayin' a word, until fin'ly we landed on an empty roof, where we could have a little privacy.

Once we landed, she jus' sat dere, lookin' at me. I guess she was tryin' ta choose her words. I went to put my hand on her shoulder, but she shoved me so hard I had to stumble a few steps back. Granted, for her dat shows remarkable restraint.

"You couldn't even say goodbye? Couldn't leave a note? Anything? Couldn't even wait foah me to wake up? Or did that even matter?"

Boy she sounded mad. Of course it mattered, but I didn' say anyt'ing.

"Answer me, dangit! Don'tcha have anything ta say??"

"Chere, I t'ink dat right now, s' better dat Gambit listens to what you got to say."

She turned away from me, huggin' herself and takin' deep breaths. Finally she spoke, but she didn't look at me.

"You could've said something, at least let me know where you were going. Ah know ah wasn't your favorite person ever, but ah at least thought we were some kinda friends. Ah risked my life foah you, for cryin' out loud!"

Fin'ly she turned around, lettin' those emerald eyes cut like glass.

"You leavin' like that showed me ah was nothing. At least not to you. The only dang reason we're even talkin' now is cause you need me foah somethin', not cause you wanted to see me. You didn't wait to even see if ah lived or died, much less gave me a chance to explain."

"Explain what, chere?"

She clenched her fists at her sides and looked down at de ground fo' a minute. I could practically hear her teeth grindin'. Was she…was she gon' cry?

She fin'ly looked back again, and I could see angry tears threatenin', but she held dem dere wit' sheer will, not lettin' dem fall.

"Remy….ah didn't mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you. Not on purpose. Ah can't help it, ah just…" her voice was shakin', so she trailed off. She turned around again, starin' straight up and tryin' to breathe easy.

I understood what she was sayin'.

I took a few steps closer to her. "Rogue. All dis time…you been t'inkin' dat I left because you touched me. You t'ought dat you hurt me, dat I was scared, dat I was disappointed, dat I didn't trust you, jus' cause you touched me. Cause dat's why ev'ryone always left before, isn't dat right?"

She didn' answer, jus' bowed her head. I whistled, and moved even closer. Seemed safe.

"No wonder you been so mad at Remy. But chere, you been wrong."

She spun back around, eyes angry again.

"Don't lie to me. Don't toy with me to make me feel better. If there's one thing ah can -,"

What I did den stopped her mid sentence. From out o' my inside pocket, I took a secret. Somet'ing I hadn't even explained to myself. One long, white glove. Her glove. I took it de night I left, after dat talk I had wit' de Professor. At de time, I don't know what had inspired me to do it, but now I begin to undahstand.

"I kept dis wit' me all dese months. Took it when I left to remember you by. Rogue, I didn' want to leave. De one, de _only_ reason dat I left was to try an protect Belle."

Dere it was. Dat big-eyed, vulnerable look she had started givin' me back at de mansion. It was my same Rogue, all right.

"And I didn' leave before I knew you were gon' be all right. I came to see ya ev'ry day. Yo' not not'ing to me, Rogue, you are quite possibly my fav'rite person I ever met. An I promise you, when dis is over, I'll go back wit'you. I missed you, chere. And I t'ink I've fin'ly figured out dat when it comes to me an' you…when it comes to 'us'… s' only a matter o' time."

13


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, thanks all of you for your kind reviews! My ego is practically glowing. ;P **

**But really, if there's anything that doesn't make sense, isn't correct, or even if you just have a character you'd like to see more of, feel free to throw that stuff in too! I hope you're enjoying our little trip to New Orleans as much as I am! And you'll all be happy to know that I'm starting the next chapter today!**

"Rogue. All dis time…you been t'inkin' dat I left because you touched me. You t'ought dat you hurt me, dat I was scared, dat I was disappointed, dat I didn't trust you, jus' cause you touched me. Cause dat's why ev'ryone always left before, isn't dat right?"

Yeah, that was it. The anger that had been surgin' through mah veins every time ah thought about him. Ah hadn't let mah brain wrap around the idea entirely till just now, because it was too painful. Ah was mad because ah thought he cared. Ah'd fooled mahself into believin' again that this one might just be able to see past all that was wrong with me, that this one might actually have enough gumption to get close. Ah was mad at him, but ah was also mad at me. Ah always messed it up. Ah couldn't help it, and ah didn't want to, but shoah enough, ah'd slip up and it'd all go ta hell.

Why'd ah even come here in the first place? Maybe ah was worried that somethin' had happened ta Gambit, that he was in trouble. Maybe because ah was curious what he wanted. It was probably a lot of reasons, but a part of me was hopin' he wanted to see me. Maybe say "hey, sorry ah left you high and dry". When ah found out he just needed a favor…that he wanted mah powers, not mah person…ah had resolved to give him a piece of mah mind that would leave a nasty taste till next July. It was all ah could do not to just hit him till ah wore mahself out, but ah'm a lady after all.

Once ah actually got down to the meat of the matter, down to the words…ah got a little lost. Ah started to realize that it wasn't just anger…it was hurt. Dangit didn't somebody in this whole stupid world think ah was worth somethin'? Wasn't there anything inside me that was good enough to counteract my touch? My skin can't be, but there are plenty of parts of me wide open and beggin' ta be touched: my mind, my heart, my soul…weren't any of those good enough?

Ah wasn't about to say all this to him. How could he understand? And while ah'd started this conversation with all the fire ah had in me…it threatened to end with tears, and ah wasn't givin' anybody that. Ah hadn't wasted tears on anybody or anything in years, and ah wasn't about to break mah record now over this.

But then he tried to take the easy way out, tell me a nice lie to make it all better. "No, of course it wasn't that. Whatever do you mean?" Yeah, right. Just enough to help me get mad again. But as ah spun around to give him another earful, he did somethin' to really rattle me: he took mah glove out of his jacket.

Ah wear gloves every day of mah life. Ah go through them like most people go through socks. When ah lose one, ah assume the dryer ate it up, and go buy some more spares.

But let's be honest…Remy LeBeau stealin' one of mah gloves…be still mah heart. It doesn't get any more sentimental than that. Foah one of the few moments in mah life, ah was completely speechless. Ah couldn't think of anything ta say. So ah just sat there looking at him, mah feelings plain on mah face.

"And I didn' leave before I knew you were gon' be all right. I came to see ya ev'ry day. Yo' not not'ing to me, Rogue, you are quite possibly my fav'rite person I ever met. An I promise you, when dis is over, I'll go back wit'you. I missed you, chere. And I t'ink I've fin'ly figured out dat when it comes to me an' you…when it comes to 'us'… s' only a matter o' time."

Wait what? Hang on a minute. Us? What are we talkin' about here? Remy can flirt with the best of 'em, but he and ah…we're friends. He wouldn't look at me like that. He likes the gorgeous, glamorous, sensual type gals. Not some boring down home brunette who practically lives in an isolation tank. Oh…ah get it…

"Remy Lebeau of all the times foah you to crack a joke you shoah picked a lousy one this time."

His eyebrows lowered and his gaze fell square on me.

"Gambit is bein' dead serious, chere."

He started movin' closer ta me, and ah backed away. Ah hate havin' the lower ground.

"What are ya? Plum nuts?!"

"You gon' try to tell Gambit dat you don' feel dat? Dat you don' feel dis?"

He tried run his finger through mah hair, but ah smacked his hand.

"Ah don't know what yoah talkin' about, but you better stop all this funny business befoah ah give ya a real reason ta laugh."

He seemed to chuckle to himself, and then he reached for me a second time. Ah went to smack him away again but he moved quick, caught mah wrist and spun me toward him. Befoah ah even knew what had happened, he had mah back pressed against his chest, and his arms around mah waist, lockin' mah arms at mah sides. Ah coulda broken free, but ah was startled and ah didn't want to hurt him, so ah just sat there, stiff as a board.

"You got till the count of three to let me go, ya dirty swamp rat!"

He leaned forward, his mouth lingerin' by mah ear. Ah could hear him smile. Ah still can't make up mah mind whether this was one of the best or worst nights of mah life.

"Chere…._ma chere_…when you decide yo' ready, Remy'll be dere. Until den, run all you wan', cause ev'ry time you turn around, I'll be jus' a step behind."

He let me go and backed away, hands up. He kept giving me that knowing stare, smilin' me down. Ah couldn't think of a dang thing ta say, so we had our very first awkward moment. Finally ah couldn't take it anymore.

"You know, ah don't even think anybody's come up with a word yet to describe just what's wrong with yoah head."

He laughed at me. "Does dat mean we friends again, petit?"

Ah smiled at him in spite of mahself.

"It's dirty work but ah guess somebody's gotta do it. So how do you propose we get you outta this right proper mess ya got yoahself into?"

"Lucky fo' you, I t'ink I got it jus' about figured out."

About then, Remy whipped out a diamond ring the size of a sweet pea.

**-Later-**

"Ah ain't leavin' without ya! Now tell me what's goin on!" Ah grabbed him by the wrist befoah he could walk away.

"Chere, please, let dis go! Remy's only tryin' ta protect ya!" Remy's eyes were pleadin' with me.

"You think ah can't take care of mahself? What are ya tryin' to protect me _from_?"

"Please, honey jus' go on back up ta New York. I don' wan' to see you get hurt."

"You think eight months without you didn't hurt?"

Just then, a man came runnin' towards us. He was a little shorter than Remy, but only by about two inches. He had blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, a square jaw covered in about two days' worth of stubble and warm brown eyes. He wore a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and combat boots. Not altogether unhandsome. Must be Henri.

He stopped just short of where Remy and ah were arguin', drawing more than one or two curious stares from passersby, eyes dartin' back and forth between the two of us.

"Remy…what's dis?"

"Please don't ask, now ain't the time."

"Oh ah think now's the perfect time! Who're you and what business so you have with mah Remy??" Ah put mah hands on mah hips, a message from one southerner to another that ah meant business.

Henri looked at me appraisingly, and then back to Remy.

"Jean-Luc tol' you to come alone."

"I did come alone. Dat's why she's so mad."

"Who's this Jean-Luc? Somebody better get to explainin' somethin' to me or else ah'm gonna have to crack some horns."

Remy looked at me hard, and then sighed.

"Chere, why you always got be so stubborn?"

"Cause ah have to be to put up with you."

Henri stepped closer to Remy. "Who is she?"

Remy opened his mouth to explain but ah cut him off. "Who am ah? Ah'm the future Mrs. Remy LeBeau, so whatever you got on mah fiancé, ah'll have you know ah outrank you."

Henri's jaw dropped.

"Pourquoi n'avez-vous dit rien? Comment pourriez-vous garder un secret comme ceci? (Why didn't you say anything? How could you keep a secret like this?)"

"I didn' want her involved in dis. I didn' even want her to know about it. Jean-Luc proved dat he'd use anyt'ing against me, I couldn' risk it."

"Den dis is all true? You love dis femme?"

Remy looked away from his brother and back up at me. He walked over to me and took mah hand in his.

"Dis girl, Henri, she's everyt'ing to me. _Mon monde entier _(My whole world)."

"You could try treatin' me that way ev'ry now and again." Ah smiled at Gambit…tried to make it look good.

Remy pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me, nestlin' his face in the collar of mah jacket. Ah had to resist all mah instincts to go rigid and push him away. Mah personal bubble is roughly the size of a football field. It had been years since ah'd hugged anybody at all. That and Gambit just has ways of gettin' me all shook up. But ah took a deep breath, forced mah smile to stay on mah face, and wrapped mah arms around his neck like it was the mos' natural thing in the world, even though it was the first time ah'd ever hugged Remy. The first time ah'd had the scent of him wash over me…the first time ah felt how warm he was when our bodies pressed together…the first time ah felt small and safe in his arms…

See? He gets me all shook up.

Henri finally interrupted.

"Remy."

Remy pulled apart from me slowly, and looked back at his brother.

"We got to take her to de guild."

"Non! We keep her out o' dis."

"She's here now Remy. Jean-Luc's gonna find out one way or anuddah. He's not gonna hurt her. Maybe it'll be enough to make him wan' to let you go."

"I said non! What is it wit' you people and not listenin'? I'm gon' work dis out on my own, and ma chere is goin' back to New York."

"Remy LeBeau, ah am goin' wherever you go and ya cain't stop me. Ah didn't come all this way just to be sent packin' by the man who's supposed ta love me. If this Jean-Luc is the reason ah've been huntin' you foah eight months not knowin' whether yoah alive or dead, then ah'd like to have a chat with him anyway."

Ah folded mah arms over mah chest and looked him dead on. Henri did the same. Remy's shoulders slumped.

"I can' fight you bot'."

"Ya cain't fight me on mah own either."

And that is how Remy got me to the Thieves Guild, without anyone suspectin' that was the plan all along. Ah hadn't been all that keen on posin' as Remy's bride-to-be, but ah figured he knew the situation better than me. He thought that him havin' a lady in the wings might put enough pressure on Belle to either slip up or talk, and Jean-Luc would have to bring me into the fold to continue controlling the situation. If we could keep mah little skin condition a secret, as well as mah fairly adequate French, we might be able to get enough information to sort this thing out and gain some leverage.

Of course until we did ah was gonna have to follow Gambit around makin' calf eyes. Ugh. But ah had to look like a love sick puppy, not bright enough to pose a real threat. And as undignified as that might be, ah was gonna have to deal with all Remy's sweettalkin' and snugglin'. Ah don't even think ah need to explain how many different reasons ah had foah objecting to that. But the biggest one? Ah was gettin' the impression that Remy was gonna use the situation to his advantage at every turn.

What made me think this? Well of course there was the incident with sleepin' arrangements.

"I assume yo' gon' wan' de femme wit' you in yo' room, Remy?" Jean-Luc seemed like he couldn't decide whether to be entertained or irritated with him.

It took everything ah had not to sputter and flush. Remy's face gave no indication of his real response, other than a cocked eyebrow. The moment ah could ah jumped in with a response.

"What kind of lady do you take me foah? Remy might be mah fiancé but we aren't married yet. Ah'll take mah own room if you insist on keepin' us here."

Jean-Luc looked both amused and surprised, but ah thought he was gonna comply befoah Remy jumped in there and ruined everything.

"Non. I wan' her wit' me. I don' wan' anyone tryin' anyt'ing funny. She's here fo' me, not any uddah business. I wan' to make sure it stays dat way."

His jaw was set like he was determined, but his eyes were twinklin' with mischief. He was tryin' ta rattle me.

"Now Remy, far be it fo' de T'ieves Guild to impune a lady's honor."

"Remy we talked about this." Ah gave him a look that ah hoped conveyed mah wishes telepathically.

"And you can trust me, chere. It's ev'ryone else dat you got to be worried about. Please, if you insist on stayin' here wit' me, den you got to let me call some shots." He gave me a half grin…cheeky…

Ah knew Henri and Jean-Luc were watchin' me close. Ah couldn't argue logically. If we really were a couple, and he'd really been missin' foah eight months…then ah wouldn't argue past this point. Unfortunately, it was a lie. We weren't a couple, ah'd spent the past eight months hatin' him, and he was still tryin' to flirt underneath it all and trap me into somethin' ah didn't want to do. Some people have a way of gettin' under yoah skin.

Ah swallowed hard. "Fine."

What was actually anger heatin' mah cheeks looked like blushin' ah guess, cause everybody busted out laughin'. This little vacation was goin' to be the death of me if Remy LeBeau had anything to do with it.

Jean-Luc didn't seem too pleased to meet me, but ah have to admit, ah was more than a little interested in the Thieves Guild. Secret families, feuds, outlaws…why it was straight out of an adventure novel. Not to mention that sometimes a person makes a lot more sense to ya if you know where they're coming from. Remy has a hell of a place to be comin' from.

The first day was unnerving, and most of it was spent on mah own. Remy had a lot of explainin' to do behind closed doors. Perfect. Everyone was watchin' me close, both suspicious and threatening. Ah just pretended not to notice. Not like ah haven't been in awkward situations befoah. Like that time ah left the Brotherhood foah the X-men jumps to mind.

This was different though. Ah've got a lot of faults, but lyin' has never been mah forte. It took a lot of talkin' on Gambit's part to convince me this whole thing was necessary in the first place, and then this whole world was so foreign to me ah had no choice but to take him at his word…if ah wanted to help anyway.

Puttin' on a show with all these unfriendly eyes on me…ah was startin' ta wonder if ah'd made the right choice.

It was Tante Mattie that finally cracked first. We were still talkin' things over with Jean-Luc and Henri in the foyer when she tore across the room and grabbed me by the elbow.

"Tante Mattie, what you doin'?!" Remy rose to come after us.

"You wan' to marry dis femme, den you got to get it by me. I tol' you dis last time and you didn' listen. Look where dat got you. So jus' sit down and shut up." Her tone wasn't one to be argued with. Ah looked back at Remy, beggin' him with mah eyes, but ah don't think he'd figured out yet who he should be more afraid of.

Tante Mattie set me down at the kitchen table, and ah waited while she looked me over. Her eyes were a dark grey, almost charcoal, and they were sharp as a tack. Her posture told me she was a lady used to gettin' her way. Her hair was piled on top of her head, a mess of blonde that had all but turned to silver with age. Finally she sort of snorted, a signal that she'd made up her mind ah guess.

"You wan' somet'ing? Tea, coffee?"

"No thank -,"

"I'll be offended if you refuse."

"Tea's fine."

"And some cake. I have a few slices o' pound cake left over from dinner Monday."

"You really don't need to-,"

"I do jus' what I want and not'ing else. Yo' too thin. Skinny girls are twits. My Remy is too good to marry a twit, so you better eat somet'ing now."

Oh she was tryin' ta ruffle mah feathers all right. Ah wasn't gonna take the bait.

"Fine then. Ah'd love a piece of cake."

She scuttled about the kitchen foah a few minutes, then presented me with mah tea and cake. Oh, this was a belle battle if ah'd ever heard of one.

"Thank you. It's quite good."

"It oughta be after thirty years' worth o' makin' it."

Ah took a sip of tea, not losin' her gaze. Then ah put my cup and saucer to the side.

"You made up yoah mind about me yet? Or are ya waitin' foah me to do a trick?"

"Now ain't the time to get sassy wit' me."

"What, you got a copyright on sass?"

"Maybe." She took a long sip of her tea, still starin' me down.

After a moment or two, she continued.

"Yo' too young."

"Pardon me?"

"Yo' too young. Yo' all taken in by the idea o' de happy endin'. Fate work ev'ryt'ing out. Dat handsome face he wears charms all de ladies, but dere's a lot more dat comes wit' Remy."

"We all got our baggage. Lord knows ah got mine."

"He's a mutant. Now dat's neither here nor dere to his fam'ly, and maybe so far it don' matter to you, but what about when it comes time fo' children? How you gon' feel den? How about when yo' movin' again cause you got to get away from all de people dat wan' to hurt him? How about when some uddah handsome face smiles at you and gives you way out o' all dis?"

"You think ah don't know he's a dang mutant?"

"Don' give me dat tone. I've seen all dis before. Maybe Remy hadn't proposed to all o' dem, but I've seen girls want to be wit' him but not be seen wit' him. I've seen de way people look at him when he's out on de town, and it burns me up. Yo' a pretty girl. Men gon' fawn over you. I'm tryin' to tell you dat Remy deserves somebody who's gon' be proud o' him always, in spite o' ev'ryt'ing. Maybe you believe yo' dat girl, but I'm tellin' you yo' too young to be t'inkin' about all dis seriously."

This kinda talk had the reek of bigotry in denial. Bein' young and hotheaded, ah did the thing that came easiest. Ah reached up and pulled mah wig off, lettin' mah own auburn and silver locks fall free.

"Mutants ain't monsters. It's not something you explain to a kid 'when they're old enough.' You try to protect Remy from the rest of the world when deep down, yoah still thinkin' about it like its some kinda deformity, like there's somethin' wrong with him. Bein' born a mutant is no different than bein' born with blue eyes. It's who you are. Now ah've known women like you befoah. Yoah hindsight is perfect and you know everything there is to know. Well ah got news foah ya, sugah. Yoah wrong. Ah may not know much, and ah certainly can't see the future, but ah know two things foah shoah:. Ah care about Remy Lebeau. Ah care what happens to him, and ah ain't gonna be dissuaded from it by a meddlin' biddy. And two, Remy doesn't want to be here with any of ya. He left y'all behind cause y'all didn't treat him right. So who's suspicious of whom here?"

Tante Mattie looked at me hard. Ah looked back at her coolly, waitin' foah her to do whatever she needed to do. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, she smiled. Then she threw her head back and laughed.

"Young lady," she began, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, "You are wonderful. I had started to t'ink I was de last! Now go on, get back to our Remy. He'll be waitin' fo' you."

Crazy person…

Jean-Luc reminded me of a pirate; a mean pirate, but a pirate nonetheless. It was partly his dress. He wore a dark burgundy button down shirt, open at the collar, with long cuff reachin' from his wrists to his fingers. The pirate shirt was tucked into black pants, which were tucked into black boots. He had a gold medallion around his neck that looked old as heck. When ah asked, Remy explained the medallion was the mark of the Thieves Leader, and had been worn by every guild head for the last 200 odd years. Made me want to play with it somethin' fierce, but ah discerned that Jean-Luc wouldn't take too kindly to the idea.

Henri was nice enough, but it was plain in his face that somethin' was goin' on behind those brown eyes of his when he looked at me. What the specifics were, ah don't know, but ah know he was conflicted. Remy havin' a fiancé had messed up some kinda plans someplace, and now Henri didn't quite know what to do. Maybe Remy was onto somethin' with this scheme after all.

Emil was irritatin' as a hose turned on a hornets' nest. Clearly not high up in the strategy department, he was content to follow me around makin' comments that normally would have earned a good pop in the jaw. Remy tried to get him to stop it, but only half-heartedly. He thought it was funny. Damn him.

Merci, like all women in this family ah suppose, had a test foah me. Hers was less straight forward. She came out all friendly like, talkin' to me about this and that, how much Remy was like Henri and all that, reminiscing about her own engagement while bouncin' little Sebastien on her hip. All the sudden, her face lit up.

"Oh no! I left some'ting in de kitchen. Here, watch de little one fo' a minute, won't you?"

She practically threw de baby at me, and den ran off befoah ah could say anythin'.

_Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd_…ah thought. Ah don't know the first thing about babies. Ah'm an only child, or ah was when ah left home. Not to mention mah skin condition. If ah ever, ever hurt a baby ah do believe ah'd fly mah lousy behind right inta outer space.

But Sebastien just looked up at me foah a minute or two, like he was t'inkin. Den he went to bein' a roly-poly. Ah nearly dropped him, but when ah caught him, he giggled. So ah mocked droppin' him again, and then caught him. He giggled harder. Ok…ah can play dropsies. As ah was droppin' and catchin' him, mah necklace fell down and he grabbed it in his little fist.

The necklace was mah momma's. Not Mystique, but mah real momma. And pryin' it from his little fingers made me think of her like ah hadn't in a long time, but not really in a ponderin' kinda way, just made an arbitrary memory leap to mind. Ah remembered bein' small, and ah remember a game she used to play with me. We'd laugh an' laugh and ah'd beg her to do it again. Gosh ah hadn't thought of that in years. Ah thought maybe ah could try to play it with Sebastien.

So ah sat down in a chair by the window, putting him on mah knee, and started bouncin' him in tune to the old rhyme.

_Ride a hoss to the Banbury cross_

_See the old lady, ride on a hoss_

_Rings on her fingahs and bella on her toes_

_She'll have music wherever she goes_

At the end of the song, you make a sound like a horse neighin', and then you tip the baby backwards, like the horse reared up. Sebastien bout laughed himself red in the face. At some point, ah started laughin' too. Ah stopped thinkin' about everythin' else and just enjoyed playin' with the baby. Little ones shoah are strange things.

But after a little while, Merci's voice snapped me out of mah reverie.

"You know…babies don't respond to kind words or gifts. Dere little eyes don't get swayed by beauty or fashion. Dey see right on through to de real person. We've had people come through here befo', and Sebastien always had dem pegged. He seems to like you, so you mus' be all right."

"You in the habit of leavin' yoah baby with strangers to figure them out?"

"I didn' leave you alone. Been watchin' you de whole time. Dat's my precious angel."

She held out her arms, and ah deposited the little tyke, who smiled up at his momma, totally unaware of all the intrigue. Ignorance is bliss, ah guess. But Merci smiled at me, and den back down at the little guy.

"You been havin' a good time wit' yo' Tante Rogue?"

Felt like rocks hit mah stomach. Ah guess it hadn't really occurred to me till just that second that this was a family; a strange family with a strange occupation, but a family nevertheless. Some of the tension here was because of me messin' with guild plans, but some of it was these people tryin' to accept me as a part of their lives. Because ah was tryin' to convince them that ah was gonna be.

Ah'm a lot of things, but ah'm not a liar. Remy and me were gonna hafta have a talk.

"Merci…you got a very handsome guy there. You and Henri, yoah both very lucky."

"Don't I know it, but _merci, petit_. I hope you and Remy will be ev'ry bit as happy. I'm jus' so glad dat he had de sense to stick wit' de southern ladies. When I heard you were from New York, I was worried."

Dangit ah liked her already.

Bout that time Jean-Luc sent foah me. Ah was hopin' maybe he was just gonna throw a baby at me too and then this would all be over with.

Ah went to see him in his office. It was a big room, lined with bookcases. The back left corner held his desk across from two chairs, where one might expect a job interview to take place. Ah hoped he wasn't gonna make us do this that way. But there was also a claw foot sofa in the middle of the room, facing the right wall and an unlit stone fireplace. He beckoned me to sit with him here. This was a little closer than ah might like to be to Jean-Luc this early in the relationship, but beggars can't be choosers. Ah sat down with him.

"So what yo' pa'ents t'ink of Remy?"

Well, here's at least one question ah can answer truthfully.

"They haven't met him."

"How long you plannin' on keepin' it a secret?"

"Well, ah don't know where mah momma is, frankly, and daddy and ah haven't spoken since ah was 14 years old. Ah figure ah can keep it a secret as long as ah need to."

"Well isn't dat convenient?"

"It's not like that anyway, and you know it. All the people ah live with now have met Remy. Some like him, some don't. But in the end it's me he's got to please, isn't it?"

"An' does he?"

"When he's in the mood to."

Jean-Luc smiled at me, and sort of chuckled. What's he gettin' at?

"You know…when Remy was not more dan 7 years old, he brought home a puppy. Tol' me de mutt had gotten bogged down in de swamp, and when he pulled him out, it followed him home. He had dat same expression his face dat he did jus' now, tellin' me about you. Went to watch de news a few days later, and turns out it was de mayor's dog dat Remy stole from de front yard. And it wasn' no mutt. Was a rare breed Australian hound."

He rose, a nostalgic smile on his face, and went to lean on the mantle over the fireplace. When he turned back around, the niceness was gone.

"You see dere was more to Remy's part in de story dan he was tellin' me, but dere was also more to de dog."

"What are ya tryin' ta say?"

"I know Remy. I'm his papa. I know when he's up to mischief, and he's up to some right at this moment, and yo' in it wit' him. Mattie tells me yo' a smart girl, and fo' a smart girl to do a dumb t'ing like come here means she got a plan. So you feel like talkin'?"

Ooh he's clever. I don't know if all Cajuns think on their feet like this or if it's just the LeBeaus.

"That would sorta take the fun out of it, wouldn't it?"

"Dis ain't a game. Dis is my family"

"Not ta sound childish, but you did start it."

"Least as far as Remy's tol' ya. But keep in mind, you only got one side of de story. How far you willin' to trust a t'ief?"

Good question.

"Look Jean-Luc, ah'm not here to mess with yoah family. Ah don't want to cause trouble. Ah just want to help Remy, that's all. So if ya want more answers, talk to him."

"You care about my son? Or you just need him fo' somet'ing?"

Jean-Luc was lookin' at me hard. There was no way foah me to lie under that gaze. So what was the truth?

"Ah don't really have a use fo' him, so ah don't see how ah could use him."

"Don't dance round me. Do you care about him?"

Ah thought about it the way my momma must have. If ah had to leave tomorrow, and never see him again…would it matter?

"Yes. Ah care about him...he matters to me."

"_Bon_. Then let us begin our little game shall we? You better try hard to catch me in my mischief befo' I catch you in yo's."

With that, Jean-Luc dismissed me, and concluded mah first day. But then ah had to worry about survivin' mah first night…in a room alone with Gambit.

14


	11. Chapter 11

It was strange, having Rogue in dis place

**Thanks again for the awesome reviews! I'm glad you guys seem to be enjoying the LeBeau family. This chapter is not the most action packed, but I figured I'd slow down and develop the dynamic between our little duo, Rogue and Remy. Hope you enjoy the banter!**

**Brains-in-a-nutshell – Thanks for the kind comment about the baby. Sebastien is based on my nephew, he'll be one year old in September and "Banbury Cross" is his favorite game. He cracks me up too!**

It was strange, having Rogue in dis place. S' impossible fo' me to walk through dis house without a million mem'ries playin' in my head, and now dere she was, super-imposed over the ghosts.

Dat first day was stressful. Rogue and me got separated an' grilled, and I jus' had to hope dat she was holdin' up ok. Me, I love a little game o' cat and mouse.

But finally, de sun set, and darkness came to de bayou.

In my defense, part o' de reason dat I wanted to share a room wit' Rogue was because I wanted to look out fo' her. From my experience, anyt'ing could happen in dis house, and usually did. Moreover, I knew dat de game was jus' beginning. Me, I been playin' fo years. Jus' wanted to make sure de chere got de hang of it befo' she went off on her own.

De uddah part o' de reason was jus' plain fo' fun. She's cute when she's mad. But maybe Rogue would go a little softer on yours truly undah the right comfy, cozy circumstances. Seemed to work in de past, anyhow.

When I got to my room, Rogue was already dere, pacin' by de window.

"Fear not, yo' knight is here." I said wit' a flourishin' bow.

"Remy, you and ah need ta talk." Her face was all seriousness.

"Whatever about?" I dropped onto de bed, stretchin out and putting my arms behind my head as a pillow. Yeah I looked good. Did it on purpose. Man's got to have a little fun ev'ry now and den. All work and no play makes Remy dangerously reckless. Dat and I was in a great mood. Fo' de first time since I came down here, t'ings were lookin' up.

Rogue definitely looked. I could have pretended not to notice…but I didn'.

"Dere's room fo' two here, chere, if you like what you see."

"Remy ah have spent the past day bein' grilled by crazy people. Please be forewarned that mah patience is at an all time low."

"Jus' offerin'."

"And ah'm not stayin' in here with you."

"Mais oui, you are. Got to look after my bride-to-be."

She was gettin' mad all right. Adorable.

"Ah agreed ta help you get out of here, Cajun, not become yoah own personal slave. Ah'll do what ah want or ah'll change mah mind and catch the next flight north, how'd that be?"

"Heartbreakin'. Come on now chere, s' no big deal. Remy's not gonna try anyt'ing."

"Because ya cain't or because ya don't want to? Nevermind, ah don't even wanna know. It's not about that. Ah'm just not spendin' the night with ya."

"You worried about what my fam'ly gon' t'ink o' you?"

"Foah spendin' the night with you? No. But foah lyin' to them about wantin' to be part of that family…yeah. That's botherin' me a lot Remy."

Her eyes were actually concerned. I sat up. Play time was later. I took out a cigarette and started to light it.

"Yoah gonna smoke in here??"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"You sho' are persnickety chere."

"Ah am NOT persnickety!"

"Oui, you are. I guess I'm so used to smokin' in my own room I didn' t'ink about it. Don't worry chere. I'll leave yo' lungs unsullied." I saluted her, jus' to get on her nerves.

"You know you really oughta quit."

"Mon dieu, woman! Don' you ever stop?"

"All right, all right. Ah agree we got bigger problems right now." She started pacin' again.

"Why you so worried bout my family?"

"Because Remy ah'm just not a liar under normal circumstances, much less when it's gonna hurt somebody."

"Who's it hurtin'?"

"How can you be so thick-headed? These people think ah'm comin' here as a daughter, a sister, a friend, and ah'm here as a spy! That doesn' sit so well in mah stomach."

"Don' forget chere, dese are de same people dat are holdin' my wife hostage until I do whatever dey wan'. An' you never said any o' dat to dem. Far as dey know, yo' leavin' wit' me when I go, never to return."

"Remy…Merci referred to me as 'Tante Rogue'. Is the baby in on the whole scheme?"

"Keep in mind dat dese people are tryin' desperately to find ways under yo' skin. You can' let dem do dat."

"Merci?!"

"Merci is a t'ief, same as ev'ryone here. Lyin' to each uddah is one o' de ways we bond. T'ink o' it like a chess match. De whole battle takes place upstairs, not on de board."

"Yeah but yoah a thief too. Does that make me a player or a pawn?"

"Depends on how much responsibility you wan' to take at de checkmate. Trust me. Dese people are not gon' take it hard when dey find out Remy lied. Jus' like I don' take it personal dat dey're lyin' right now. Yo' jus' helpin' me. You wan' to be a player you got to get in de game further than I t'ink you wan' to."

"All this makes mah head spin. Ah never was too hot at chess."

"Den you gon' have to trust me."

"Fine but ah'm not stayin' with ya."

"Chere what is yo' big problem wit' spendin' a night in de same room wit' me? Some girls would jump at dat chance."

"Yeah well some girls ain't Psylocke."

Oh-ho-ho!

"You been jealous, chere?" Dis was one cocky grin I couldn' control.

"Of what? Smellin' like cheap cigarettes and romantic rendez-vous at Taco Bell? Ah should say not."

Oh she was so jealous.

"Well you know petit, if you were jealous, now would be yo' golden opportunity to one-up de purple-headed ninja. So why not jus' take it and quit whinin'?"

"Ah'm not whinin', and ah'm NOT stayin' in here with you."

I got up and crossed over to her.

"We can do dis de easy way, or de hard way. Either way sounds like a good time ta me."

"Ah don't want you any way you come! Now back off!"

"You try to leave dis room an yo' gon' blow our cover. Now calm down and come here."

Her face was mad, but her fingers started fidgeting. Well which was it? Mad or worried? Now I was startin' to get mad.

"What is de matter wit' you? You don' trust me? You t'ink Remy would try to hurt you? I don' never go where I'm not invited."

"Well then what in tarnation do you think yoah doin' right now? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I've never spent a night with a man befoah? That maybe to other people, spendin' nights together is supposed to be intimate, no matter how you pass the time? That maybe ah might not want to have this happen under a lie?"

No. De truth was I hadn't t'ought about dat at all. And why I didn' put two and two together, that because Rogue was untouchable that she was also…untouched…I jus' don't know. De women I mos'ly run wit'…dey're not so sentimental. I'd never been around dis type befo'.

As usual, now dat Rogue had actually said what was on her mind, she was feelin' and lookin' vulnerable. De femme…she got so many walls. It makes me sad, sometime'.

"Chere…Remy didn' know. Calm down now, s' all right. Sit down and I'll be right back."

I went down de hall to grab a few t'ings from de utility closet. I came back with some sheets and duct tape. Rogue was lookin' at me funny, but she didn' say anyt'ing. I grabbed de chair and taped de sheets to de ceilin', makin' a wall down de middle o' de room, wit' de bed on her side and de door on my side.

"Could dis be an acceptable compromise?"

Her voice was small and unsure when it came out. "Remy…Remy ah'm sorry ah'm so silly. This is ridiculous."

"Chere can I come in?"

She laughed half-heartedly.

"Yes."

I pulled the edge of the sheet away to make a door, and went in, sittin' on de bed beside her.

"You aren't silly, chere. Yo' jus' too good fo' a swamp rat like me. I'm sorry dat I upset you. I didn' realize dat it meant so much to you. But chere, I t'ink its wonderful dat it means so much to you. And I t'ink its wonderful dat you hate to lie. I'm sorry I'm putting you through all dis, and I hope you know dat when it's over, Gambit's gonna owe you big. So don't start all dis talk about you bein' silly. You make more sense dan mos'."

"Ah didn't do this so that ya'd owe me."

"Then why? Jus' so you could get annuddah look at dis Cajun?"

She smiled and gave me a side long glance. "Maybe." Then she winked at me. While sittin' in my bed.

"Dis is so unfair."

I sighed and got up to go.

"Remy?"

"Mmm?" I turned back around.

"This is…this is really sweet of ya. Thank you, sugah." Her voice was sincere.

"Yo' welcome, ma chere."

I grabbed a cot and some extra pillows, den wit' a few careful 'goodnights' we settled in fo' de night.

But Rogue didn' stay asleep. I wasn' sleepin' so hot on de cot anyhow, so when she started gruntin' in her sleep it woke up me up.

She was tossin' and turnin'…pantin'. Dis was either a very good dream or a very bad one. Den she started wimperin'. Bad one.

"Chere?" I called out gently.

She didn' answer, but began whisperin' to herself.

"Please don't touch me. Oh gawd, please don't touch me."

Dat's it. Dis dream ends. Nobody hurts Rogue. Not even in her sleep.

I threw open de sheet.

"Rogue!"

Her eyes shot open, and she flew up outta dat bed and grabbed me by de throat, liftin' me off de ground. Surprised? Me too.

Her forehead was broken out in a sweat, and her chest was heavin' wit' scared breaths. Me I was hangin' out ta dry. Fin'ly her eyes softened and she seemed to actually see me.

"Gambit?"

I choked in response. She dropped me.

"Oh gawd, sugah, ah'm so sorry! Are ya all right?"

After a few deep breaths, I managed to answer.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Gambit loves a good surprise ev'ry now and again. You didn' hurt me."

"Are ya shoah? Ah can go get help or-,"

"Chere," I stopped her, "it's all right. Calm down. Now…are _you_ all right? Dat was some dream."

She sat back down on the bed, and hugged her knees to her chest.

"Just a dumb ol' nightmare. Sorry."

"What about?"

"Nothing."

"Rogue, can't you make it easy fo' me jus' once in a while?"

"You'd get bored."

"Once in a rare while, den."

She sighed. "It's not a nightmare. It's everybody inside still tryin' to get out. Easier foah me to deal with it when ah'm awake. When ah'm dreamin' it all just gets so confusin'."

"You still dealin' wit' dat mess from Sinister?"

"It's not Sinister's mess. It's mine. He just made the situation more difficult to control. Ah'm sorry ah woke ya Remy, but keep in mind befoah ya get all mushy like that ah've been dealin' with this foah eight months. Maybe bein' a strange place is makin' it flare up, but it's nothing new, and it's nothing to worry about. Just makes it hard to sleep sometimes. So go on back to sleep now, just yell at me if ah make a racket."

I didn' really know what to say, so I went back and laid down on my cot. Rogue laid still, silent on de uddah side o' de sheet.

"Rogue?"

"Yes?"

"Dere's somet'ing I wan' to say, but I don' want you to get mad or upset or anyt'ing. Particularly it'd be nice if you wouldn't yell at me."

"Ah don't yell at you."

"Yes you do."

"Do not."

"Chere please?"

"All right. Go ahead."

"I'm sorry."

"What the devil foah?"

"Fo' leavin' you alone all dis time. Not tryin' ta talk to ya or anyt'ing. And…I'm sorry if I hurt you when I touched you. Gambit, he would never hurt you on purpose."

She was quiet fo' what seemed like a long time.

"Ah know you wouldn't. Ah don't know why, but ah trust ya. Ah don't know why you do anything you do, but ah know that yoah mah friend. And you didn't hurt me Gambit. Ah was worried ah'd hurt _you_, but foah some reason when you touched me it didn't hurt."

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Does it usually hurt?"

"Not like you'd think and sometimes more than others, but yes it hurts. Not mah skin, but me. Inside."

"Do you dream about all o' dem? All de time?"

"Most of the time."

"Did you ever dream about me?"

Silent again. I let it hang. Not a question to push. We sat there in the dark, listenin' to de sounds of de night pour in through de window.

"Yes."

So she had missed me a little. What do you know?

"I dreamt about you too."

"Remy, ah really don't know why you've been in such a mood lately, but please, don't flirt with me. Don't say these things to me. Don't talk to me this way. Please don't tease me."

"I'm not teasin' you. It's de truth. I'm not tryin' to get at you right now. I wanted to know whether you t'ought about me while I was gone, cause I know I t'ought about you."

"Remy…"

"I know. I pushed my limits. Go on to sleep now chere, I'll let you be."

She sighed. "Goodnight Remy."

"Goodnight Rogue."

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I let de sounds o' de night take me out into de bayou, let my mind wander over old paths, tryin' to trick myself into goin' to sleep. It was jus' about to work too.

"Remy?"

"Oui?"

"Ah've been so mad at you all this time."

"I know."

"But now that we're here…it feels like you were never gone. Does that make any sense?"

"You sho' are honest when yo' tired petit. I'm gon' have to remember dat fo' de future. But I know what you mean. _Maman_ always tol' me dat when someone is supposed to be in yo' life, den dey're never far away."

"How long has it been?"

"Since what?"

"Since you lost her."

"What makes you t'ink she's gone?"

"Ah don't know. Just heard it yoah voice."

"Well den…Marianne Lebeau, my Maman, she also tol' me dat when people are supposed to part ways, den you got to let dem go befo' you can heal from it. I had to let her go when I was jus' a scamp…five or so. Yeah, Henri was eight, so dat would make me an' Etienne five."

"Did ah meet Etienne?"

"Let him go when we were bot' sixteen. Don' say sorry chere. S' a long time ago."

Why'd she bring dis up? And why did I let her? She didn' say anyt'ing fo' a while. I figured she was jus' gonna let it lie. Den she came out from behind de curtain, an sat down by my cot.

"You wanna talk?"

"I could t'ink o' uddah t'ings on my top ten list."

"What am ah gonna do with you?"

"Again, let's consult dat list."

"Can you be serious foah just a second? You always have somethin' on the tip of yoah brain to bounce back with. Yoah so strong Remy. So strong. And yoah smart as a whip. But needin' other people isn't gonna change that."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"You asked if ah dream about you. Ah do. Ah remember yoah memories. Ah feel yoah feeling's from time to time. And ah'm sorry about it. But there's this strange sensation about you, like yoah always lookin' at everybody and everythin' through an open window. You could go inside if you want, but you don't do it. You tell me about a dead mother, and friend, and of a captured wife, and you show me this family that you left behind without so much as batting an eye. You make light of the whole thing so that ah will too, but ah know there's more to it than that. You asked me to come here and help you, well ah'd like to do just that if you'd let me."

"I should never have touched you."

She hit a nerve. What else can I say? At de time it made me mad. Her pryin' into my life wit' her powers. Jus' cause she saw my mind didn' mean it was hers to play in. Not to mention dat it kinda came out of nowhere and took me by surprise. De show is much better if you give a man some time to prepare.

But when I said dat, her shoulders stiffened, and she looked like I'd jus' slapped her in de face. She jumped up and went back behind de curtain.

"Ah'm sorry. Goodnight."

"Rogue, wait-,"

"Goodnight Remy."

"I'm sorry all right? I shouldn't have said dat."

She didn't respond. I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Dis night started out so well. Now I sat still, tryin' to choose my words carefully.

"You know, dere's lots o' ways o' bein' close to somebody. S' not easy fo' you to be touched, Rogue. Even if de person doesn' mean to, dey hurt you inside. S' not easy fo' me to be touched either. You reachin' inside me like dat…it hurts. Jus' cause you saw somet'ing inside my head doesn' mean you know what its like. I know yo' mad at me, but I hope you can undahstand. If anyone can, you can."

Best I could come up wit' on short notice.

"Well whaddaya know, Remy LeBeau? We got somethin' in common after all."

"We got a lot in common. Jus' haven't found all o' it yet."

"Ah didn' mean to pry Remy. Ah'm not evenin' pretendin' that ah understand what you've been through. Ah was just tryin' to tell ya that ah'd like to."

"I can handle dat. And I didn' mean to snap at you. Look at dis chere, we resolved a conflict. We're makin progress!"

"Slowly."

"Progress is progress."

"Ah'm not gonna get any sleep as long as we're here, am ah?"

"Not if you don' let me get any."

"ME?!"

"Yes you. Goodnight Rogue."

"Ugh! Goodnight Remy!"

Two minutes later…

"Rogue?"

"UNH! No!"

"Please?"

"What?"

"What did you see in my head?"

"Brain rot."

"Come on chere…dey're my t'oughts. I got a right to dem."

I heard her sigh, and den roll over towards me.

"Ah don't exactly know. It doesn't always come in a linear fashion. You were worried about me ah guess. Then yoah mind sorta jumped to other times when you were worried. Ah saw a lot of the faces ah met here today, but only so much is sight. Some of it is feelins, thoughts, not all of it makes sense to me. Ah saw me, times we were on a mission or at the school, except through yoah eyes. You only touched me foah a second, ah really didn' get much. 'Cept an occasional cravin' foah a cigarette and some spicy food."

Relief. I chuckled.

"Ah did see a little girl though."

Damn.

"Just her face, but ah felt the way you do when you see her. She's…significant somehow, but ah don't know how. Ah won't ask you about her, but you asked what ah saw."

I knew who it was. And I wasn't gonna talk about her tonight. Rogue didn' know anyt'ing dat I wouldn' want her to, dat was good enough fo' me.

"Tanks fo' tellin' me."

"Shoah…Ah'm sorry, if ah saw somethin' ah wasn't supposed to. Ah…ah couldn't help it."

"You already said sorry. I already said s' all right. I might not like people in my head, but if somebody had to go in, s' a small comfort to know it was you. So stop all dis 'sorry' business."

"Goodnight then Remy."

"Goodnight Rogue."

Three minutes later.

"Rogue?"

"Ah hate you."

"I know dat, but dis is de last t'ing I promise."

"Promises from a thief?"

"Best I got at de moment."

"For the love of all that is good and holy what?"

"I didn' get a chance to tell you, but I'm really glad dat you didn' dye yo' hair. I was worried."

"As much as ah hate bein' a skunk-head, Ah hate the smell of ammonia worse."

"Yo' not a skunk head. Yo' beautiful. But Tante Mattie is right, you need to eat somet'ing ev'ry once in a while."

"Go to BED Remy!"

"Only de sweetest of dreams, ma chere."

13


	12. Chapter 12

**Roguechere – your review cracked me up. I'm sorry I deprived you of so much sleep, but I'm happy to know that there's someone out there who reads like I do. And I'm so glad that my little story managed to snare you. Huge compliment as far as I'm concerned. :P**

**Brains-in-a-nutshell – I'm looking forward to hearing your trademark "yay update 8D!" so don't disappoint me. Lol.**

**iloveromys – thanks for your review and I'm glad you're enjoying! Lucky for you, I love Logan and Rogue's friendship as much as you do, so don't be surprised if he turns up as the major supporting character 90 of the time. ******

**gambitfan85 & Bologna121 – them waking each other up last chapter was my favorite part to write. I'm notorious for babbling the second I lay down to sleep, so I thought it'd be a fun little annoying trait to write into the story. :P**

**Everyone in the world – I'm sorry I was so slow in updating this time, but real life decided to get in my way, and I had a little touch of writer's block that I'm trying to work my way through. Let me reassure you I have no plans to abandon this story, and I hope you enjoy this latest update! Thanks everyone for all the wonderful reviews! **

**Part 12: A Little Espionage Never Hurt Anybody**

When ah woke up, Remy had already left the room. That was fortunate because ah am not one of those girls that wakes up lookin' sweet. Mah hair was a wreck, the makeup ah had been wearin' yesterday was smudged all over mah face, and ah had to sleep in mah clothes from the day befoah which were now one big wrinkly mess. Fortunately foah me, there was a bathroom attached to Remy's room and ah was able to sneak in there and freshen up a little. Of course nothing could be done about mah clothes, and there was only a comb, no brush, but ah managed to sort out the worst of the mess, wash mah face, and get mah hair pulled back. Then ah headed down the stairs.

Ah heard everyone in the kitchen, smelled like they were havin' breakfast.

"Well good mornin' chere!" Remy greeted me cheerfully from the table. "Remy t'ought maybe you'd never get up."

If there's one thing in this world ah hate, it's a mornin' person. "If ya'd let me sleep, swamp rat, maybe ah'd be up sooner."

Merci and Tante Mattie snickered. Dang. Maybe ah shoulda chosen mah words more carefully. Remy just winked at me.

"Well yo' jus' in time fo' breakfast, so sit down." Mattie was at the stove, her posture as defiant as ever.

"Mrs. Mattie, ah know ya hate mah figure, but would ya mind if ah passed? Ah'm not much of a mornin' person, and eatin' this early sometimes make mah stomach turn."

"Ms. Rogue, jus' Mattie will do. An' you gon' need yo' strength if you want to keep up wit' dis crowd. So I tell you what, I'll make de same deal wit' you dat I make wit' Sebastien. You eat five bites, and if yo' still not hungry, you can go."

Sebastien was at his high chair, happily beatin' his fists on the table. Remy was next to him, eyein' him sort of warily, so Sebastien threw his spoon at him.

"Remy quit botherin' that baby." Mattie scolded as she gave the spoon back to the little guy.

"I'm not botherin' him, he's de one throwin' t'ings."

"Yo' his oncle. Keep him quiet till his oatmeal is ready."

"Me?! I don' know what to do wit' him."

"Time you learn, Oncle Remy."

Remy picked up the baby's spoon and poked him with it. The baby looked at Remy sort of confused, and then back at the spoon. Then he looked at me blankly, clearly unimpressed.

"Try blowin' on him."

"Quoi?"

"Mah cousin's baby used to like it. Made her laugh."

Ah knew when the face leapt to mind that it wasn't actually mah cousin's baby. Someone in mah head had a cousin wit' a baby. But hey, helpful is helpful. Gotta choose yoah battles ah guess.

So Remy blew at Sebastien, who blinked, gasped, and then giggled. Remy looked back at me appreciatively, and then continued playin' "blow in the face". So now we have dropsies, Banbury Cross, and blow in the face. We could practically run a day care.

About that time, Mattie put a plate in front of me. It was full of scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and a pile of…of…

"Oh mah gawd."

It just slipped out, but Mattie turned on me.

"You got a problem?"

"No no! Ah'm sorry its just…you made grits."

"Cheese grits. What about it?"

"Ah…ah love them. Ah can't even remember the last time ah've had grits. Jean and Scott in New York…they never even heard of them, and when they tried to buy some they were those gross instant things you get in packets."

Mattie smiled, and then turned back around to her stove. "Well I got a big pot full, so you better eat up."

Ah took one last moment to admire the square of butter meltin' on top before ah took a big bite and all bets were off. Ah killed that plate of food. It never had a chance. Ah didn' even realize ah was hungry. Mattie plopped another heapin' spoonful of grits on mah plate and ah ate that too. When ah finally slowed down foah fear of poppin' like a balloon, ah realized that Remy was watchin' me, completely amused.

Ah sat up straight. "What? Can't a girl eat a little breakfast?"

"Some girls more dan uddahs. Welcome to my home, chere."

Ah was about ready to fire off and start the mornin' bicker, when little Sebastien squealed and threw his entire bowl of oatmeal across the table.

It went everywhere. Remy had a nice stripe from his left cheek across his nose, not to mention his shirt was covered, the table was coated, what a mess! But the worst thing was that Sebastien had managed to cream mah gloves…the only pair ah had with me. See when ah had come here, foah some reason ah thought ah was only gonna stay foah a few hours. Long enough to save Remy from whatever, or get mad and desert him. He didn't say anything about this big chess game in the letter.

Tante Mattie just sighed and turned around.

"Well kids, off with it. I'll rinse ev'ryt'ing in de sink and den wash it later."

Remy hadn't even noticed me yet. He was lookin' at little Sebastien and surprisingly, smilin'.

"You, _petit homme_, are a LeBeau." He then gave the baby a big kiss, smearin' oatmeal all over him.

Mattie hit him with a wooden spoon.

"Remy Lebeau! Why do you always wanna make mo' work fo' yo' ol' tired Tante?! You are all de badness in de world! Now give me dat shirt."

To mah dismay, Remy obliged. You know how if someone is attractive enough in a movie, any shot involvin' their body happens in slow motion? Yeah…Unfortunately this little reverie was destined to be distressingly short.

"And you missy, I t'ought dat your breakfast attire was a little odd. Hand over de gloves."

Panic. Mattie started comin' over to me and ah jumped up, nearly knockin' over mah chair, backin' away.

Mattie's eyes went sharp and locked on. In a single instant, ah watched her face go from Tante…to thief.

"What kinda secret you got under dere?"

Only the worst kind. She kept approachin' me, slowly.

"It's not a secret."

"If yo' gon' lie to me, petit, yo' gon' have to do better."

Remy tried to jump in, but Mattie cut him off.

"Not from you, Remy. From her."

A knot came up hard in mah stomach, and ah didn' know what to do. This is why ah hate to lie. Cause you get caught in it, sooner or later.

"Well Rogue, you gon' answer my question?"

"Please leave me alone."

"Non. Too late fo' dat. Yo' in de game now, you either learn to play or you cash in de chips."

These people and gamblin' metaphors.

"It was an accident."

Mattie raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. The best kind of lie is one in which there is some truth.

"What was?"

"Mah hands…there was an accident."

Her face gave nothing away, but it was clear she wanted more than that.

"There are plenty of people who ain't exactly friendly to people like me and Remy. Who ain't friendly to mutants. Some of them have bigger plans and more resources than others."

"What you mean by dis?"

"It means that this ain't thief business, this is mine."

She looked at Remy, hard.

"Someone hurt dis girl, Remy? Somet'ing wrong wit' her hands?"

It wasn't concern. She was playin' us agaist each other, tryin' to find the gaps.

Remy stared at her dead on, and foah once was able to tell the truth.

"Lots of people hurt dis girl."

Mattie looked us both over hard, one last time, and then the thief melted back away.

"I'm sorry, petit. You wan' to wear yo' gloves, you won't get no trouble from me."

But now Remy had a mouthful. His jaw had set and his eyes were…glowin' a little.

"Tante Mattie why you helpin' Jean-Luc wit' dis?"

"Jean-Luc heads dis fam'ly. I am part o' dis fam'ly."

"Don' give me dat. You don' do not'ing you don' want to. Why you let him do dis to me?"

"Remy, you should know better dan anyone dat no one 'lets' Jean-Luc do anyt'ing. Not even me."

"But yo' watchin' us. And why? Cause you gon' run tell ev'ryt'ing you find out to dat man so he can use it against us. Yo' playin' my girl, yo' playin' me. All o' ya! Why am I de only one wit' de stones to actually question dis? Doesn't anyone suspect dat maybe its Jean-Luc and not me who's in de wrong?"

"Remy yo' not askin' de right questions."

"And yo' not givin' de right answers."

Mattie was quite calm as she poured herself some coffee and sat down at the table.

"You been out o' de game fo' a while. Yo' gettin' rusty, Remy." Remy just watched her, his eyes narrow. She continued. "Yo' askin' what side I'm on, who's right, who's wrong? Dat don' matter so much right now."

"It sho' matters to me. If he finds a way to make me take dat oath Mattie…"

"Listen to me, Remy. Dere's a lot of bad blood in dis house right now, lots o' people mad at each uddah. But tell me, do you believe dat dis family loves you?"

Remy looked at her hard, me ah was tryin' to figure out what was goin' on under this conversation. All the color is underneath. Finally, he answered her, his voice lower.

"I don' know. Sometimes I t'ink you must. Sometime's I t'ink you only believe dat you do. Love gets so wound up in need dat I can' tell."

Mattie set her coffee mug down on the table and took one of Remy's hands in her own.

"Dat makes me sad, Remy, but listen to me now. You need to find out de answer, because jus' supposin' dat dis family does love you, why would dey go to all dis trouble to keep you close? T'ink Remy. Sho', Jean-Luc is bound to his role as leader, but all o' us? Why would all o' us stand wit' him on dis decision?"

"Dis is what I was askin' you."

"You got to come up wit' de answers Remy. You wan' to figure dis out, start lookin' past Belle. All dis time you been tellin' us dat you don' need us, you don' wan' us, and dat yo' fine on yo' own. _Bon_. Cause yo' on yo' own dis time Remy. Let's see how you do."

With that Mattie stood, scooped up little Sebastien, and left. Remy grabbed a dishtowel and wiped the last of the oatmeal off his face. Ah was feelin' like maybe ah shouldn't have been here foah this, but ah didn't exactly know what to do. He went over to the sink, throwin' the towel into the water forcefully enough foah me to know he was mad. He put both hands on the counter and leaned on them, lettin' his head hang and his hair fall forward. Ah just stood there like a dummy. Ah'd never really seen him get mad befoah, and ah was kind of afraid to make sudden movements.

That's kinda funny really, considerin that these days ah don't much give a hoot nor holler if Remy's mad. You get used to it after a while. Like right now, he's mad cause ah said that. Do ah care? No.

Finally he stood up, pushed his hair back, and turned around with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, we won one and los' de uddah."

"What do you mean?"

"Information, chere. Mattie knows dere's more to yo' gloves dan we said. Dat means Jean-Luc is gonna know, and dat means dey gon' be after you."

"Joy."

"However, we now know somet'ing we didn', too. Dey are tryin' to protect me."

"Protect ya? From what?"

"Dat is exactly what we got to find out. And we don't have much time."

"What's it ta be then?"

"Emil."

"Emil? What are we gonna do with him? Why he's nothin' but a big bucket of testosterone!"

"Exactly."

It turned out that Remy's grand master plan was foah me to get Emil to grab me. If he did, ah could get information. And we would forgo keepin' mah strength a secret by tellin' everyone he startled me so ah hit him and it knocked him out cold. When Emil woke up from mah touch, that last thing he'd remember was doing somethin' he shouldn't have.

Ah was just as thrilled about this plan as ah was about posin' as Remy's fiancé. Emil was annoyin', but ah didn't want to hurt him. And at the time ah didn't know how keen ah felt on usin' mah powers. Yet again, Remy talked me into it. It made sense. Dangit. Why can't my way ever be the one that's logical? (Dat's what Gambit's been askin' himself fo' years.) (You know, it's not too late foah me to go back and include some baby pictures from Tante Mattie. Is that what you want swamp rat?) (Please proceed, ma chere…) (Thank you.)

It was almost too easy really. Remy went out on thief business during at least part of most days, and Emil ended up nearby, ooglin'at me. As per the plan, ah sort of encouraged it. After a few days, and since ah apparently wasn't allowed to leave the mansion, Merci went out and bought me a few things to wear, according to a list ah made foah her. She didn't do half bad, actually.

Eventually an opportunity presented itself. Ah was changin' in Remy's bathroom. The bedroom door had been closed, but the bathroom door was open. Then, magically, stupid Emil was there. Ah barely caught a glimpse of him in the mirror, and pretended not to notice. Instead, ah "accidentally" got a little toothpaste on mah shirt. Oh darn! So ah took it back off, leavin' just a thin camisole and mah bra underneath, and turned to face the door. Just then ah felt a yawn comin' on, so ah stretched mah hands above mah head and took a deep breath.

Dumb kid. As soon as ah turned back around, ah felt warm hands tryin' to encircle me from behind. Unfortunately, mah cami had rode up just enough to leave a thin strip of tummy exposed. As soon as his fingers reached it, he fell to the floor with a thud.

Emil's thoughts flooded mah mind. Dark images…

_Underground...yes that's why its so dark…dark in the tunnels…the monsters don't like to be seen…no, not monsters…morlocks. _

_HGW…HGW…H.G.W….H.G. Wells... The Time Machine took people forward, the Morlocks couldn't be any more backward._

_Have to get the money dere, down in the darkness. _

_Can't be afraid. I bet Remy wasn't afraid down here. Is this really where they all died? Gives me de creeps just t'inkin' about it, what Marrow will do if she catches him._

_How did dey know? How did dey find out? It wasn't Remy's fault…was it?_

_That stupid Sinister guy. He made all dis happen._

_At least de Morlocks aren't trying to kill us anymore. I don' t'ink I could take another one. Not after Etienne. _

Ah snapped back into mah own head, but now with more questions than answers. My general feelin' was one of "what the hell??" but there was something deep and dark and foreboding that had put a knot in the pit of my stomach. Something about this whole situation was far more serious than ah had been hopin'. All this reference to death…

It was more than Emil's thoughts, it was his feelings of fear and regret and guilt all mixed into one sickening concoction that had me alarmed. Ah allowed mah mind to wander back over what ah had seen, thought, and felt from Emil, and finally one detail stood out.

Sinister. Ah had thought about all the lackeys that touched me, but ah hadn't once allowed mahself to dwell on Sinister himself. The first man who had really tried to hurt me because ah was me, the first person who ever sincerely tried to kill me and darn near succeeded. Whenever mah thoughts strayed that way mah mind flashed a sort of panicky warnin' and changed the subject. Plenty of people had tried to take me out, but usually because ah'm a mutant, or ah was in their way, or ah had picked a fight. Never because ahw as Rogue, and never in cold blood

Now mah mind jumped to conclusions and foah the first time in maybe mah whole life ah had a response to fear that ah couldn't control.

Normally ah just twist fear into resolve, into anger: ah use it to propel me forward. But the thought that Sinister might be here…the possibility of bein' back in under his power and direction…Ah'm ashamed to admit how much that thought affected me then.

A shot of adrenaline hit mah system like a train and stopped mah breath short. Mah face felt cold even though ah'd broken out into a sweat and mah hands went to shakin'. Ah dropped to the floor and put mah head between mah knees, tryin' to take deep breaths, tryin' not to panic. Panickin' was a dangerous proposition. If ah lost control, ah had plenty of people upstairs who would be happy to take over.

"Don't think about that now, Rogue. Just calm down. Yoah ok. Think about somethin' else. Anything else. Like riding Logan's bike. Or graduation. Anything…"

Finally, ah managed to get it together. Ah slowly lifted mah head and opened mah eyes. Emil was still out on the floor, so ah went over and flicked him in the cheek. With mah strength, it'd leave enough of a bruise to substantiate the claim that ah hit him, and the last thing he'd remember is doin' somethin' to deserve it.

A word on mah absorption: it's worse on mutants than it is humans. Mah mutant gene seems to respond to other mutants. Sure Cody got a raw deal, but that's partially because ah held on so long, not realizing what was happenin' and partially because he got the awakening touch, the very first one. Emil's touch wasn't more than a graze: he'd be fine in about twenty minutes.

Eventually Remy came back from whatever lawlessness he had been up to and night fell, leavin' us alone in his room. His family didn't give us much alone together outside the bedroom, so it was the first opportunity ah had to tell him what ah'd learned from Emil.

The second the word "Morlocks" fell from mah lips though, Remy was up like a bolt of lightening.

"Dey here? Dey know?!"

"What do they know?"

"What else did you see?"

"Ah saw tunnels, and Emil was tryin' to get the money down there to them. He kept thinkin' about H.G. Wells foah some reason. It didn't make much sense to me."

"Merde! Dat's where de money is goin'! Dey blackmailin' my fam'ly to get at my hide!"

"Remy-"

"Why didn' dey jus' tell me?? How did Marrow find out? Mon dieu!"

"Remy-"

"Why did dis have to happen? I never meant fo' dis!"

Finally ah had to actually grab his arm to get him to remember that ah was here. Remy seemed dang near unflappable…what had him so riled? Him losin' it made me jumpy, but ah figured it was mah turn to be calm and comforting.

"Remy, sugah, people are gonna hear you if you don't keep it down. Now ah'm here ta help ya, we'll sort this out, but first ya gotta tell me what's goin' on. Who's blackmailing you? What do they know? What's happened?"

Remy's face had never been so raw. It was as if he'd forgotten all about me. His face sunk down to the bottom of his shoes and he backed away from me like ah was poisonous. Whatever was eatin' him was no small thing. Ah stepped toward him slowly.

"Remy? Everything's ok. Just calm down. Talk to me."

In an instant he steeled his face and straightened. That unshakable coolness came back over his features, and he was closed.

"Not'ing. Don't worry about it."

Boy was he into mixed signals all the sudden. Ah took a deep breath.

"Listen sugah, ah just wanna know what's goin on. Ah'm tryin' ta help."

"You can' help."

"Well then what in tarnation did ya ask me down here foah? You were the one who asked me to come, remember? Ah'm here now, but you gotta let me in a little."

"Not this. Please don' ask me."

His face showed just the faintest trace of the desperation that had shown a moment befoah.

"We'll start easy then. Skip 'what', why can't you tell me?"

"I'm not tellin' you dat either."

Ah swallowed the snippy response that came most naturally (no small feat ah might add) and tried to keep to the gentle side.

"Remy ah wish you would trust me."

"Trust YOU? Dat's what you wan', me to trust you? And why should I? Yo' just some starry eyed kid who don't know anyt'ing about de world yet. You can't even trust yo'self, so why should I trust you?"

His face was angry, and his eyes were aflame as he stared me down. Ah closed mah eyes and swallowed hard. When ah opened them again, ah tried to understand what was goin' on here. It was simple really. Remy wasn't mad at me. Ah hadn't done anything. He was in pain. Something was goin' on that hurt him, and he was takin' it out on me. He was tryin' to pick at me, make me rise to the occasion so he could feel something different, think about something else. He wanted me to provide a distraction.

Oh he and ah both knew he would be made to pay later, but not right now. Now ah just looked at him coolly, and didn't say a word.

"You got not'ing left to say?"

Ah shrugged.

"Good, den we can go to bed. Goodnight!"

He stalked over to the box seat under the window and sat with a flourish of his trench coat, one leg tucked under him and his arms across his chest. His eyes burned out into the night, clearly dismissing me.

Ah watched him with a strange combination of compulsions wrestlin' in mah stomach…one was to go over there and knock some sense into him, and the other was a warm sort of desire to go comfort him…but ah didn't know how.

Finally the whole care-taking thing won out. Ah decided that the only way ah knew to comfort somebody was the way ah would want to be comforted. Sort of a twisty golden rule.

Ah approached him slowly, and he didn't look at me. Unsure of mahself, ah finally got close enough to put a hand lightly on his shoulder.

"I said goodnight, Rogue." His voice was short and stern.

"Ah'm sorry." He turned and looked at me, his mouth still twisted in an angry line, but his eyes softened with confusion.

"You don't hafta tell me anything you don't want to. This must be hard foah you, seein' Belle, dealin' with yoah family, bein' trapped, havin' yoah past haunt ya. Ah may not know exactly what's goin on here, but ah know some of what that's like. Ah didn't mean to upset ya. Wasn't mah place."

His mouth twisted down into a sheepish kind of frown.

"You didn'. Listen, Rogue-,"

Ah held up mah other hand to stop him.

"Later. Foah now, you just tell me what you want, what you need, and ah'll do it. No more questions, ok?"

He only managed a stiff nod. Mah response was leavin' him a little off kilter ah guess.

"In the meantime, remember that ah'm on yoah side. Ah may do a lot of annoyin' things, but ah'll never lie to ya. If you decide you need to trust me, ya can. If ya don't want to, then don't. Deal?"

He just stared at me. All that calm ah'd been holdin' onto finally twisted into concern, and mah hand involuntarily drifted from his shoulder to the side of his face.

"Are you gonna be ok sugah?"

Half a second passed where Remy just looked at me, and then wordlessly he reached out and wrapped his arm around mah waist, pullin' me close and tight. As always, mah personal space phobia made me stiff as a board, but with a little concentration ah managed to breathe and relax. Ah put one arm around his shoulders, holdin' him every bit as tight as he was holdin' me, and mah other hand stroked his hair.

Ah may not know a whole lot of things, but if there's one thing in this whole world that ah do understand it's the need to be held. So ah held him foah a while, and told him everything was all right.

His eyes were closed and his face pressed against mah stomach. Foah half a second he looked downright vulnerable, and a strange feelin' came over me. Mah heart constricted in mah chest, and ah realized consciously foah the first time that ah actually cared about Remy LeBeau. Ah'm not talkin' the lovey dovey stuff, ah mean that moment where you realize very simply that somebody is important to ya. Ah knew that foah whatever reason, Remy Lebeau was important to me.

Now was not the time foah too much thinkin'. Foah now ah just marveled at him. It was like he'd undergone some kind of transformation just because he meant something to me. Suddenly he was almost familiar, from how warm he always is down to his scent: cologne, smoke, and falling leaves.

If ah had known at that moment just how far we had to go…ah don't know that it would have mattered.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Ok folks, I am sorry for the delay. I know how much I hate waiting for new chapters, so I sympathize entirely! I tend to write in spurts though, so while the chapters are spaced now, every now and again you'll get like 4 chapters in one week. Don't lose faith in me! I swear I will not abandon this story. It just might take me a while to finish it. :)**_

_**I'm really glad you guys liked the ending to chapter 12. I'm trying to keep the pace realistic, but I really just thrive on the displays of affection between these two. I'm glad to hear I didn't jump the gun.:)**_

_**Brains-in-a-nutshell – I laugh every single time you say "yay! Update XD". Every single time. Without fail. Lol.**_

_**Roguechere – I think we understand each other, yes? Lol You're review made me laugh and I'm glad you enjoyed the breakfast scene. **_

_**CompleteLoser – Thank you thank you thank you for your message. Your kindness and enthusiasm really lit a fire under my bum to get this next chapter posted. I promise I will not abandon this story. I really wish I could work for Marvel. That would be pretty much my dream job..lol…but really, your message made my day and I hope to hear from you in the future! **_

Part 13: Revelation

I am not normally dis type o' guy. This is not the kind o' image I like to project, and I don' wan' anyone getting any funny ideas about it. What happened jus' now was not'ing less dan fate. De odds o' Jean-Luc and Belladonna conspiring jus' to get me back? Slim. De odds o' me actually getting stuck in dis situation fo' dis long? Very slim. De odds o' de Morlocks comin' back to haunt me? Teeny tiny. De odds o' all dese situations comin' to reality at de same time while Rogue was standin' in my bedroom? Dat's an act o' God or de Devil.

I had been impressed with how well I was keepin' t'ings together. If Rogue had jus' risen to de occasion and we'd had a little fight it would have been no big moment. But at de very moment I was holdin' it together by a thread, she had to give me dose big green eyes, worried and caring and open.

I jus' didn' wan' to be alone was all.

Later, layin' on dat cot starin' at de ceiling while she slept, I realized dat dis was de first time _she_ touched _me_. Every other time she was either responding to me, or I jus' couldn' help myself. Now de t'ought of it consumed me. See Rogue…I jus' couldn' figure her out. I couldn' figure out myself around her. And it was damn hard to t'ink about anyt'ing with this morlock t'ing raging at de back o' my head.

Why did dat have to be de first touch? See when yo' wit' somebody...dat kind o' t'ing is expected. Give an' take. All de uddah girls put up wit me because eventually dey knew dey'd get somet'ing dey wanted. Dere's a lot of nice t'ings about bein' me when de ladies are around, but one o' de disadvantages is dat everyt'ing has to have dis undertone o' desire and expectation. Words, touch, time, it's all part o' de game, and it all has hidden meaning.

When Rogue talked to me, she said what she meant. When she spent time wit' me, it was cause she wanted to. An' now she had touched me, not to set a tab to be repaid, but because she wanted me to be ok. Plain. Simple. In some ways Rogue makes it hard on me, but in uddahs she makes it so very easy to be wit' her. Dere's no pretenses, and any mind games that happen happen because she's bein' stubborn, not cause she's manipulating.

I already knew I liked Rogue. I took de feelin' fo' granted, cause I'd been through this so many times before. But in that brief moment where we both dropped our guards, I started to see a woman totally unfamiliar…a woman who was totally different from any uddah one I'd ever come across. To be close to dis woman I would have to come up wit' a whole new set o' rules, a whole new set of expectations…she wouldn't want the parts of me I was so confident in, but the ones that hadn't been given before.

Why couldn't our first touch have been a kiss, a caress, hell, a pinch on de backside? This whole pure compassion t'ing set a terrible precedent, and had me feelin' as unpracticed as a thirteen-year-old with bad skin gettin' his first kiss under the bleachers. I didn' know what I was supposed to do next, what she expected, or most importantly what she wanted.

So I lay dere on dat cot unable to sleep, tryin' to pretend that there wasn't a question since I couldn't come up wit' an answer. If dere's one t'ing I am, it's true to form.

After all Rogue never even said she wanted me, or anybody. She jerked away whenever I touched her. I was here chasin' my ex-wife...chances were not'ing was happenin' wit' me an' Rogue, and not'ing was gonna happen. Based on dat logic, dere was not'ing to worry about.

Still couldn' sleep.

It was now dat she started talkin'. "Quiet now girl…yoah ok. Ya know it's just the cold that gets you feelin' down…just watch the lines go by…"

You know dat ol' expression, "penny fo' yo' t'oughts"? I'd pay more dan a penny to get inside dat head sometimes.

I had sort o' gotten used to dese midnight soliloquies over de past several nights. She didn' sleep long an' she didn' sleep well, but she hated it if I woke her up cause she got all embarrassed. So if t'ings sounded too bad I'd gotten in de habit of knockin' t'ings over. She'd stop breathin', an I'd sigh to let her know it was me. Den she'd settle back down an' go to sleep.

Dammit why was I payin' so much attention to dis girl? Dis untouchable, unreachable girl?

"Remy?"

Huh? I waited. Was she awake?

"Remy, its too cold foah you."

Her words trailed into mumbling an' den she was quiet. I listened to de rise an' fall o' her breath. An den de corner o' my mouth betrayed me. At first it twitched, and then it crept slowly up my cheek until it exploded into a full grin. So…de chere was dreamin' about me dese days? Ooh she'd hate dat, but I liked it fine. I laid dere grinnin' like a pole cat fo' several more minutes, until suddenly her voice rang out again.

"Are you awake?"

I laid still, unsure if she was really askin' or not.

"Remy?"

Apparently she was. I tried to make my voice sound groggy and muffled.

"Hahn? Chere? What you wan'?"

"How do you know Sinister?"

Can' we jus' have one nice moment? Jus' one time? "What you mean by dis?"

"Please. Ah know ah said ah wouldn't pry. Ah'm gonna try not to. But Sinister is something ah gotta know about. Emil mentioned him, and the more ah think about it, the more ah'm convinced you know what he was talkin' about."

It was the stupid "please.""What is it you wan' to know?" I was tryin' to hedge.

"Ah want to know…if ah should worry…" Her sweet voice was fumbling around what she wanted to ask.

"Spit it out, chere."

"Is he here? In New Orleans Ah mean?"

Whew! Well dat was an easier question den I expected. "Non chere…he was here a long time ago. Far as we know he's long gone an' not comin' back."

I heard her exhale. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"

I lied. "Non. He helped me mostly."

"Helped you??"

She yanked on the sheet so hard it came down. I sat up and put my hands in front o' me. I swear, I never know what's gonna set dis girl off.

"Whoa dere! Hang on and lemme talk." I waited until she took a seat on de edge o' de bed.

"See Rogue when I first found out what I was, dat I was a mutant, I had some trouble controllin' my powers too. First time dey flared up I nearly took half de house down. Us bein' who we are, dere weren't many places we could go fo' help. I t'ought I might have to leave home. Den dis Sinister guy shows up, literally walks to our doorstep, and offers his help. We didn' know what else to do, so we t'ought we'd give it a shot. Sure enough, he helped me get t'ings under control, and also taught me a lot about security systems and computers. I didn' know him from Adam, an' it was 13 years ago."

She stared at me intently, absorbing every word. "Why would he help you without getting anythin' out of it?"

I smiled. That was a very well played question. De t'ief life was startin' to rub off on her.

"Of course he wouldn'. Dere were t'ings he wanted dat he couldn' get himself. Let's face it, he isn't de type o' guy dat blends in at parties."

Her forehead creased as she tried to sift through my words and find something more. I could tell that my light-hearted responses and half-smiles were annoying her. She t'ought dis was way more serious. Suddenly her eyes lighted on some t'ought, and her face got pale.

"You…"

Now it was my turn to be confused. What now? She just stared at me, and then at some point closed her eyes.

"No. You wouldn't. Ah don't believe it…but…"

"Chere?"

"Why didn't you say anything? All this time you never told any of us about it, least of all me. Why wouldn't you have told me?"

It wasn't clear whether she was talking to me still or now jus' to herself. I followed.

"You an yo' X-men, you don't have no secrets from each uddah? Scott, Jean, 'Ro, dey all know everyt'ing dere is to know about you?"

"Of course not."

"Why can't I have my secrets den? I got to tell you everyt'ing?"

"Remy this is different and you know it! If Cody showed up and tried to torture Jubilee to death Ah'd have the decency to tell her what ah knew; her if nobody else!"

"Suppose you know dat if you had piped up right away, den all yo' X-buddies would assume you were de one who gift wrapped Jubes for Cody? Isn't dat de idea you jus' talked yo'self out of? Dat I was de one who let Sinister inta de mansion?"

Her mouth dropped, and then snapped shut. She looked away.

"Hmm. And here I t'ought you trusted me."

"That's not fair. Ah do trust you. Ah talked mahself out of it didn't ah?"

"But why was dat de most obvious answer?"

"Yoah sayin' that you keep secrets because we don't trust you, meanwhile how can we trust you if yoah keepin' secrets all the time? Ah was just tryin' to find a way to fill in the holes. Ah can't go back to that table. Ah can't have people grabbin me. Ah don't care what ah have to do to keep that from happenin' again."

Her face was carefully composed, but her knuckles were white as they clutched at the sheets. Not a good time to push at her.

"Fair enough. Maybe I should've told you. But I t'ink we both agree dat I couldn't tell de rest o' de team an' expect as much understanding. You would know, dey treat you de same way. But movin' on. Sinister had me steal t'ings as payment. Mostly information. That was the bargain. I didn' ask too many questions, because well, I'm a t'ief. At de time he was well payin' and powerful. Bot' guilds worked fo' him. I parted ways wit' him a long time ago, before I even knew de X-men existed. You happy now?"

She t'ought fo' a minute. "Almost. Why'd you part ways? Sounds like a pretty good arrangement. Something had to have happened foah him to leave town permanently."

Oooh clever little trouble-maker. I smiled. "Well chere, Gambit was-,"

She raised a hand. "Don't lie to me if yoah plannin' to. If its that bad just don't answer."

Actually yeah, I was planning to lie right den, but she couldn't know dat.

"Fine den. I won't answer. Let's just say it might have somet'ing to do wit' de trouble we're in now."

She nodded once, curtly, clearly displeased with my answer. When it was clear I wasn't gonna offer any more, she lay back down and we pretended to sleep until sunup.

In time, I decided dat dis whole "lay low and wait" strategy was takin' far too long. Time fo' a switch from poker to roulette.

Next time I had de chance, I took anuddah trip to the Assassins camp. Now that I was 90 sure dat Jean-Luc couldn't hurt Belle, I figured dis was de place to start. I snuck into Belle's room and laid low. Of course I knew de way. I could probably find dat room by scent alone.

She made me wait a good long while, but eventually I heard her light footsteps dancin' down de hall. Once inside she locked the door behind her and leaned against it fo' a moment. Somethin' botherin her? Conscience maybe?

She went and sat at her vanity, loosing her hair and running a brush through it. Fo' just a moment, a blink of an eye, a tenderness gripped my chest. You got to understand…I didn' wan' her back, didn' wish fo' t'ings to be different. Belle and me just aren't meant to be. It was the delusion o' youth and blindness of first naïve love that ever made us t'ink different.

But we were so familiar. Maybe it wasn' true now, but at one time we knew each uddah inside an' out. She was de first girl dat really touched my heart, even though she never understood it completely. I knew every line o' her face, every curve o' her body, the twinkling sound o' her laugh, the golden shimmer o' her hair, but more importantly I knew her hopes, her fears, her vanity, her cruelty, and her vulnerability.

De feeling passed quickly. I wasn' here to play nice. De parts o' me dat really cared fo' her had gone silent long ago.

I moved carefully…underneath that porcelain appearance was a trained and elite Assassin, and I couldn' forget dat. Fortunately fo' me, she was distracted and her guard was down. I slipped one arm around her shoulders and put a blade to her throat wit' de uddah in one swift movement. She didn' move or scream, she jus' stiffened. Belle isn't one fo' panickin'. But when she caught my eyes in de mirror, she gasped.

I smiled and moved de blade away.

"You know Belle, you always wanted me to take you to dat opera. I never would, cause I hated to dress fancy and dey didn' have a smokin' section, not to mention dat well, I flat hated de whole idea."

I released her. She wasn' gon' do anyt'ing now dat she knew it was me.

"And I'm still not gon' take you. But we're gonna split de difference. You gon' sing fo' me now. You gon' tell me everyt'ing you know."

"If I don'?"

"Well petit, now dat I know dere's no danger, dere's no reason fo' me to stay. You either tell me what's goin' on or I'm gone. You didn' seem too keen on dat idea."

I didn' let on anyt'ing I'd already figured out. Let's let her start from scratch. See if we can' fill in some holes.

"You'd really leave me? You think I'd have gone to all dis trouble if I didn' really need you?"

"If it was dat simple you coulda jus' asked. Dere's plenty more I'd wager."

Her breathin' was heavy…she was excited. I'd caught her unprepared, and she wasn' as good at t'inkin on her feet. I'd counted on it.

"How bout we start wit' de truth and work our way back to de lies, hahn?"

"Remy…if I tell you…Jean-Luc…"

"Jean-Luc don' know I'm here. Besides, since when is de Killer Princess on de side o' de King o' T'ieves? Yo' papa wouldn' take so kindly to dat."

"He said you had to choose me freely. Otherwise he wouldn't allow it. Yo' good Remy but he can find you anywhere. He proved his end o' de bargain."

"Bargain?"

"Don't you see Remy? We both need you, Jean-Luc and I. We need you to do one of yo' miracles, but when you don't love us you won't help. So you got to love one o' us."

"Try not to be sentimental Belle. I'm feeling fairly vexed wit' you, it'd behoove you to be mo' cooperative."

"Are you threatenin' me?"

"I'm done bein' patient, if dat's what you mean."

"Den you should know, Remy LeBeau, dat I am not the same starry eyed, half-wit novice dat you used to best so easily."

She rose from her seat, and her movements were fluid. She had a snake-like grace to her form that she had lacked as a younger woman. As she approached, her gait took on a more sultry sway, and her mouth twisted into a mischievous smirk.

"In fact dere's quite a lot o' t'ings about me that you haven't had a chance to fully explore."

I caught her meanin'. It wasn' subtle. She reached to place her hands on either side o' my face, but I only studied her. Sometimes dere's only one way to get an answer to a question. I kept my hands firmly at my sides as she pulled up to her full height to plant her lips on mine.

And she was cold.

My lips followed along with her motion as I put my arms around behind her back, winding a trail with my fingertips gently up her spine, and then I grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, yanking her away from me.

"You would rather seduce a man you don' even care about den tell de truth? Belle yo' a lot o' t'ings but I never t'ought of you as a charlatan! What became of yo' dignity??"

I was shakin' her a little. I was honestly kinda mad. I didn' love Belle but I cared about her, and dis is what she had come to?

Her face twisted into a pained expression. It was fake.

"How can you say I don' care about you? Yo' de one who left me!"

"Belle you t'ink my memory is so short? I know yo' kiss. I know de way yo' body responds. I know de very rhythm of yo' breath. Yes, I left you, and since I been gone you realized de same t'ing I did: what we had wasn't real, it wasn't good enough."

Her mask twisted into real pain. I loosened my grip.

"But it was still good wasn' it? We could make do. We could give up on all dese childish fantasies about love and find some way to stop lookin' fo' somethin' more, can' we??"

"Belle…I know dat dere's trouble. I will try to help you as best I can, but you got to tell me what de problem is."

She sank into a heap on de floor.

"You won't take me back. No matter what I say, or do. Nothing I can offer will bring you back. You said what we had wasn' good enough, but you meant to say I wasn' good enough. Not fo' you."

"Belle I don' understand why dis is so important. You admit dat you don't wan' me. Not dat way. Not anymore. So why you wan' me to take you back?"

She sighed.

"Well since yo' not goin' to choose me freely or uddahwise, you might as well know dat I'm gettin' remarried."

I was staggered. "What??"

She smiled, but the smile was hard. "What, you t'ink dat jus' because you don' wan' me dat no one does?"

"Who?"

"Caliban."

My mind worked overtime to put a name wit' de face. Finally after shufflin' through a lifetime o' names and faces I remembered. Caliban was a Morlock, and a mutant. His skin was a muted grey, pulled tightly over his hairless body. His bones made strange, alien ridges across his brow and down his arms. His eyes were a milky yellow, and his mouth perpetually frowned. He barely spoke, and gravitated toward shadows. Dis couldn' be right. I couldn' imagine Belle…glowing, light, full of energy and charm…living in the sewers with a man that was little more than a somber wraith.

"Belle…" I fumbled around fo' my words.

"You t'ink that this is what I wanted? You t'ink dat I would do it if I had any uddah choice? Of course not! But apparently I don' have any choice. Once again you choose to leave me behind in a bloody mess."

Her words stung and I backed away as though she had actually hit me.

"Why? Belle jus' tell me why?"

"Because the Morlocks found out we were contracting wit' Sinister. Yo' guild and mine. They came back callin' fo' blood, but den found out there was a more…progressive way o' bleeding us dry that would do more fo' dere people. Dey place a bounty every month. Dey choose one member of each guild. If we don't pay de ransom den dey die. De Morlocks have grown in number and in ability. Dere's not'ing we can do but pay it."

I was vaguely aware dat my jaw had dropped as I listened, but I didn' care enough to do anyt'ing about it.

"Of course, de T'ieves have managed to keep up with de prices. Dey deal mostly in money anyway. We Assassins have been harder put to de task, and my papa doesn' know how much longer we can keep it up. So he tried to bargain wit' dem. Dey named dere price. Dey want me to marry Caliban. Marrow-," she practically spat the name, "thought it would be a fitting punishment fo' de Assassins, since we caused death, dat 'de mos' beautiful should have to live with de ugliest, to rot in de shadows away from all happiness.'"

"I did de only t'ing I could t'ink of. I told dem I already had a husband, and dat it wasn' possible." Her face contorted with shame. "She laughed at me. Said she'd heard all about my _dear_ husband. You know my fam'ly. Dey wouldn' speak fo' you. So she told my papa dat I had a year to produce said husband, or I would marry Caliban. He agreed. What more could he do? We can't keep up wit de ransoms. Eventually we'll come up short an' lose somebody."

"I knew my fam'ly wouldn' help, so I worked wit' yo' papa to find you and bring you back."

I was havin' some trouble comin' up wit' breath to speak.

"H-how did you get him…Jean-Luc…to agree to dat?"

"I knew all he needed was an excuse. De Morlocks…dey been lookin' fo' you."

My chest constricted.

"I don' t'ink dey know. If dey did dey'd have done away with de t'ieves. No one knows what dey wan' from you, or why dere lookin' fo' you, but Jean-Luc wanted to keep you close jus' in case. Dat's de difference between yo' papa and mine, Remy. At de end of de day, when it really matters, Jean-Luc is yo' papa first. Marius is always Assassin first. So I will marry again."

"But Belle why not jus' leave? I'll help you. We can get away, I'll find some way fo' you to live. Dere's a life away from all dis!"

"Leave my fam'ly? Dishonor the guild? Break our word? Hope dey don't die? Ha! Not everyone is as faithless as you, Remy. I had hoped there would be annudah solution, and I was a fool. I see dat now."

"No Belle!"

I fell to the floor beside her and grabbed bot' her hands in mine.

"Belle you don't have to be bound up in all dis. You don't have to be an Assassin. You can't help it dat you were born into dis fam'ly, but dere is always, always a choice. You once believed dat life could be different. Dat wasn't so long ago."

"You forget Remy, you weren't born into dis life. Maybe dere was a choice fo' you. But I'm done puttin' my faith in you. It's not fair fo' me to keep expectin' a miracle from you ev'ry time t'ings go wrong. I'm done wit' hopin' fo' t'ings dat can't be."

"Don' say dat. I'll claim you. We can jus' lie to dem."

She laughed a wicked barking sound.

"You have no idea what kind o' hate yo' dealin' wit'. Imagine someone killed yo' whole fam'ly, you t'ink you'd leave any loopholes? You claim me Remy LeBeau, and yo' gon' have to stay here and be my husband. Fo' de rest of yo' life. Dey're always watching. How would dat plan fare wit' yo' little skunk head?"

I wasn't expectin' it, so my face confirmed what she said.

"Oh yes Remy, I heard all about her. Like a fool I t'ought I could win you back. I must look old. She doesn't look so pretty in de pictures I saw."

"Den yo' camera sucks."

I didn' mean to be smart. It jus' leapt out o' my mouth. Her mouth hardened into a line.

"It comes to dis Remy, are you goin' to be my husband or leave me to Caliban?"

I loosed her hands, and looked at her as hard as I could.

"Belle, if I took you back now, den neither o' us would ever be sure o' what we had. The love we had faded, but I still find joy in de time we spent together. You were my first love, and I was yo's. You would spend ev'ry day knowin' dat I was only goin' through de motions to save yo' life. I would know dat you were only wit' me cause you were scared o' de alternative. Dat life is no uglier dan we one you face wit' Caliban. I wish, _mon dieu_ I wish you weren't so stubborn! I wish you could see dat you can make dis choice fo' yo'self. You don't have to live at de mercy of uddah people. You're a beautiful, intelligent, energetic woman. You should be at no one's back and call."

Her expression washed away, and left a dangerous glare in its place. She rose and I stood with her.

"You have made yo' choice then. Understand now, Remy LeBeau, dat you and I are enemies. Should we meet again I will give you no quarter, nor expect one from you. I AM ASSASSIN, and you are worse dan t'ief. Now get out."

My jaw dropped again.

"Belle you can't-,"

"GET OUT!"

I sighed. My shoulders suddenly felt heavy. I turned and headed to the window, feeling her eyes burnin' at me. I paused one moment before I leapt from the sill, and I didn' turn when I spoke.

"I know you don' understand now, but I'd like to go on de record and say dat no matter what, I will always be yo' friend."

I slipped out into de night, and let my mind stay mercifully devoid of t'ought as I made my way back home. Dis should feel like a victory. I had figured it out and I was free to go, but I felt empty. I didn' love Belle, but I cared. And I felt helpless. What could I do? I like de part where I storm in an save de day best. But dis time all I could do is walk away, leave t'ings every bit as bad as when I came. Didn't feel very good.

Ever notice how when bad t'ings happen, dey bring friends? Yeah.

I heard it before I saw anyt'ing. Wit'out t'inkin I picked up de pace, and within minutes de house was in sight.

De eastern wall had fallen, leavin' a sofa and de remains o' a tv out in de open night air. Lights were out inside and a few dark figures were scurrying from de hole. Cards came automatically to my hands but before I had time to throw dem those figures soared up into de air.

Rogue had two in one hand and the last in the uddah.

"AND STAY OUT!" She cried as she launched them like shotputs through the trees. Branches cracked and fell as they descended and scrambled off into the darkness.

"Rogue!"

Her livid eyes poured down on me.

"Dangit-all Remy!"

It shames me to say I was totally caught off guard when a blunt object caught me square across the shoulder blades. I tried to get to my feet, choking fo' the air dat was gone. I caught another blow. I rolled over jus' as the third was about to fall, and whipped my cards out, throwin' dem in de face o' whoever my assailant was.

"Aaaaccck!" He dropped his branch and stumbled backwards, tryin' to catch himself when a green-eyed torpedo planted bot' fists in his chest. He went flyin' thirty feet backwards, and from the sounds o' t'ings was planning to keep headin' dat direction.

Rogue grabbed me by my lapels and put me upright.

"You hurt? You ok?"

Her forehead was creased as her gloved hands flew over me checkin' for unseen injuries. Even on de worst day dat girl knows how to make un homme smile.

"Lower."

Her head snapped up, and her mouth pressed into a hard line just before she shoved me back down in de dirt. Of course dis time I was expectin it so I bounced right back.

"Come on swamp rat." She tossed over her shoulder as she flew into de house through what used to be de tv room.

I followed quickly, and was relieved to hear de family sound off.

"Everyone ok?" Henri called from the north window, where he was undoubtedly positioned with a custom weapon he affectionately called "The Sniper". Merci, Emil, and Jean-Luc all checked in.

The door to the basement creaked open and Tante Mattie came out holdin' Sebastien. Rogue exhaled audibly. She was worried? About my fam'ly? Funny, but interestin'.

"What happened?" I asked. My fam'ly jus' looked at one another, unsure o' how to answer. Rogue groaned. Adrenaline made her less patient.

"They came lookin' foah ya. Fortunately ya weren't here, but they must have gotten a tip somewhere that you were back in town."

"Morlocks you mean?"

"Guess so. Do Morlocks smell?"

"Mais oui."

"Yep. Was them."

Jean-Luc stepped forward.

"Where you been, mon fils?"

Now dat ev'ryt'ing was sorted, I could tell de truth.

"At Belle's."

"Den you know?"

"Oui."

"And you made a decision?"

"Yeah."

"I see." He paused and studied my face fo' a minute. "You leavin' again den?"

"Fo' now."

He raised one eyebrow and smiled a little. "Dat's a little more optimistic dan I'm used to."

"Jean-Luc…papa. I don' want to be a t'ief. I will never lead dis guild. Dis will not be my home, or my life. But apparently no matter what I do, dis will always be my fam'ly. De safest place fo' you to be right now is away from me, and de safest place I can be is in New York until we figure out what dey wan'."

"Remy, you know we will protect you. We always look after our own."

"Yeah but you'll also lie to me and drive me crazy. And dis is de best way I know to protect you. But I won't let dis go. I will find a way to help you."

Jean-Luc nodded once, and den his eyes glided over to Rogue.

"I wish you really had been marryin' my son. Fo' now I'll hold no ill-will against you. Consider us your friends, madamoiselle."

I laughed. "How'd you know?"

Jean-Luc grinned, but Henri answered. "You never kissed her, idiot!"

I laughed wit' dem, unthinking, amused at how well they remembered me. I didn' notice dat Rogue winced, or backed away unsmiling. But Henri did. He walked forward and clapped her on de back.

"But hey, dere's still time. Maybe next time you two come to visit, t'ings will be different. Hell, you'd be one sister I wouldn't arm wrestle, non?"

She smiled at him, but moved away from his hand.

"If you two are leavin', you'd better do it. Dey'll be watchin' fo' you to run."

I nodded at Tante Mattie, and den Rogue and I went to grab what few t'ings we brought wit' us.

I had jus' closed our one bag when I turned around and noticed dat Rogue was jus' standin' dere, lookin' around. Her face was unfathomable.

"Chere…you all right?"

The sound of my voice broke de spell. "Hmm? Oh. Yeah. I'm ready when you are."

I didn' have time to press de matter.

"Should we go and say goodbye?"

I grinned. "Our fam'ly never says goodbye. In fact, we're very creative at avoiding the phrase. Wanna give me a hand at keepin' de tradition?"

A gestured toward de window. Rogue smiled, but looked back over her shoulder fo' a moment. What's goin' on wit' her?

Finally, she took a deep breath, grabbed me, and we alighted into de night sky, away from my fam'ly, away from de guilds, and away from New Orleans.

15


	14. Chapter 14

Part 14: No Goodbyes

Ah had been loungin' in the tv room with Merci, watchin' one of her "stories" as she liked to call them. It had sort of become the mornin' ritual, and there wasn't much else foah me to do. Sebastien was crawlin' around on the floor where his toys were littered, and ah was keepin' an eye on him.

Merci watched soaps the way ah read books. She was thoroughly engrossed, and her face foah once was perfectly plain. If she was angry, her mouth curled into a grimace and her shoulders went rigid. If she was happy, her hands came together and her eyes lit up. The romance scenes she sighed aloud and pressed one hand to her chest.

My favorite kind of days were when she couldn't resist talkin' to the screen.

"NO! Don' you believe dat Rachel! Christian only loves you!"…"Snake! You sniveling snake! So help me you gon' get yo's!"

These kinds of outburst were usually followed by a rebuke from Mattie in the kitchen, where she spent most of her time.

"You watchin' that trash in there again Merci? You gon' rot yo' brain! Someone should talk to dat husband o' yo's."

Then Merci would stick her tongue out in the direction of the kitchen and turn to me.

"Hahn. Like de LeBeau's are so high and intellectually mighty. Henri won't admit it, but he likes dis story as much as I do. You like stories, Rogue?"

"Ah gotta say ah was never really big on tv. Daddy kinda had the corner on that market. Ah do love a good book though."

"Oh? What kinda stories you like to read?"

Ah blushed just a little bit, but then ah realized Merci was watching soap operas. Not much room to judge.

"Well, really just about everythin'. But ah'm particularly partial to adventure and romance."

Merci raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"So maybe yo' a Jane Austen fan from time to time?"

My enthusiasm wasn't faked. "Of course! Ah love the language, the old world, all that jazz."

She grinned at me encouragingly, and hopped up and went to the bureau where they kept their films. Amazingly, she retrieved the British mini-series of Pride and Prejudice.

"I always felt dat Colin Firth was de only real Mr. Darcy, n'est pas?"

Oh yes. Yes he was. She popped the first DVD into the player and put it on.

"Merci we don't need to interrupt yoah show. Why don't we put it on later?"

"I wouldn' hear of it. We gon' be sisters you know. It's all about compromise. De vocab will be good for Sebastien…and besides I jus' know Tabitha's gon' walk into dat trap and I don' know if my blood pressure can take it dis mornin."

Ah laughed. It was easy to like Merci. And foah some reason she seemed to like me. Minutes in, Mattie came in with some tea and cookies.

"You ladies mind indulgin' an old crone fo' a while?"

"Don't you talk like dat Tante. If you weren't a blood relative o' every man here you'd give us a run fo' our money."

"Hmph. You sot heads can keep dem. I jus' wanted to say good mornin' to Colin Firth."

We erupted into laughter.

We were happily watchin' the first dance scene when Henri popped in, back from a run.

"You in here cheatin' on me again Merci?"

"Every second you were away."

He glowered at her playfully before he went over to ruffle his son's hair. His eyes stayed carefully away from Merci when he asked, "Did Tabitha fall fo' it?"

Merci turned her head and gave me a wink that only Ah could see. Ah stifled a grin.

"I t'ink so. I turned it off to watch dis instead."

"Well…now dat I'm back…I better find a way to run off all o' dese scalawags you been spendin' de mornin' wit." He glanced up at the TV screen. "Monsieur Firth, we meet again. Allow me to demonstrate once more why she's MY wife and not yo's!"

And with that he scooped Merci up over one shoulder while she called him names and hit him repeatedly in the back. A drew a breath. God was he strong! He didn't even look phased! He turned, and with a bow of his head said simply, "Ladies," before chargin' up the stairs, the sound of his boots echoin' in the corridor.

Ah sighed without realizin' it. They were all just…so happy.

"You t'ink dats bad…wait till yo' married. Remy is de romantic one."

Ah stared straight at the TV screen, but in spite of my dang self ah blushed. Mattie chuckled quietly to herself.

Just then ah heard a sound, like a quiet whistle. At first ah thought it was interference from the TV, but as it got louder ah strained to listen. Sabretooth's senses kicked in before ah realized it, and without thinkin' ah scooped up Sebastien and then Mattie and flew them out of the room and down the hall.

The force of the explosion knocked us forward a bit, but ah had the two of them cradled against my chest when we landed ungracefully at the bottom of the stairs. The lights flickered and then went out.

"Y'all ok? Y'all hurt?"

Sebastien's lip pouted outward. Ah'd startled him. Mattie grabbed him, looked him over quickly, and found to her satisfaction that he was fine. Then she looked at me.

"Take Sebastien down to de basement. We'll handle dis."

"With all do respect Mattie, why don't _you_ take him?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't make de mistake o' t'inkin' dat I can' take care o' myself and my family."

"Not foah a second, but Tante, ah really doubt they can hurt me at all. And ah'm already mad. Ah'd hate to miss the fight."

She looked at me appraisingly, and then smiled.

"So its Tante is it?"

Ah opened my mouth and then closed it again. Ah guess it just slipped. Mattie grabbed Sebastien and hurried towards the basement.

"You be careful petit!" she threw over her shoulder.

The whole exchange took a matter of moments. Henri and Merci came thunderin' down the stairs, and ah didn't pause to wonder what took them so long.

Merci's eyes locked on mine, askin' a question Ah understood. With two fingers ah pointed downstairs and mouthed Mattie. She nodded and took a deep breath.

Henri opened what had been an ordinary panel in the wall, and tossed Merci a pair of handguns before he took out some kind of assault rifle. Me ah'm not a gun aficionado. Ah couldn't have identified anything beyond a .22 double barrel or a .38 special, and none of these weapons were those.

Merci caught them, her expression cool. Man these guys got down to business quickly. Henri didn't glance at me when he asked, "In or out Rogue?"

"In."

"What do you know how to use?"

Ah held up mah fists. "If the left don't getcha the right one will."

"In the basement wit' you."

"Trust me Henri. Anythin' more than that is an unfair advantage."

"Show me now or get in de basement."

Talk about puttin' a gal on the spot. Ah looked around, and then ah noticed the banister of the stairs. The end post was one solid piece of oak, with its cap beautifully sculpted in a sphere engraved in patterns almost like a pineapple. Ah took a deep breath.

"Sorry, but you asked." Ah plucked the globe off the post with a loud snap, and then crushed it between both hands, letting the splintered shards fall onto the floor. Henri's jaw dropped foah half a second befoah he started laughin'. In fact he laughed so hard it made me a little uncomfortable.

"R-R-Remy always….hahaha…needed…hahahahahaha...a girl dat could….whoop up on him! Hoohoohahahaha!"

Merci stepped forward and pinched him, but she was smilin'. Henri got himself under control.

"All right, je _regrette_. I'll take northside, Merci you take west, Jean-Luc is already coverin' the south window from the study, and Rogue, if you feel comfortable coverin' the big hole in the east, I'd be much obliged."

Ah nodded once and then headed the direction my legs were already itchin' to go.

When ah got there company was already startin' to climb over the glass into the room, which was a wreck. The whole dang wall was gone, coverin' the furniture and carpet with thick dust and debris. The place where just a few moments ago we were sittin' and enjoyin' some family time now looked like it had just suffered a natural disaster, or one of Logan's bad days.

Ooh…it was on.

Ah let them filter into the room and even waited, smilin' sweetly while they surrounded me.

When it was clear that the big guy was leadin', ah addressed him.

"Well hey there, sugah. You after somethin' special or just lookin'?"

"We don't want trouble. We're not looking to hurt anyone. We just want Lebeau."

"Gotta be more specific than that, but then, it doesn't really matter, seein' as none of the LeBeau's are up foah sale. Try back later, huh?"

He trained his rifle on me. Ah focused on bein' untouchable.

A word on this invulnerability business: invulnerable is a misnomer. Against psychic attacks, bio attacks, hell lots of things can hurt me just the same as anyone else. What I am is resistant to physical attacks, particularly inertia, but since that's a mouthful they just say "invulnerable". However this ability sort of fluctuates in strength. When I'm distracted, sick, or generally feelin' weak it's not as potent. Foah instance, remember back when we rescued Kurt, and ah got shot in the head? Well that bullet should have gone straight through mah skull and laid me out cold, but if ah'd been payin' attention it wouldn't have even grazed mah skin. What's more is that mah super strength often means ah can hurt mahself, even if other people can't hurt me. If ah go to hit someone as hard as ah can and hit a wall instead, it'll hurt. So we all clear? Good. Now you know why ah'm making a point of focusin'.

"We're here for Remy LeBeau. If you won't cooperate, then I suggest you stay perfectly still. I don't bluff."

"But you do smell like wet dog." Well he did. And he wasn't gettin' Remy LeBeau. Foah once ah was glad he wasn't around. Not that ah like havin' him around or anythin'. Shucks.

His eyes flared angrily, and he motioned for one of the lackeys behind me to go on.

"Ah wouldn't do it hon…"

His footsteps paused half a second before he continued. Why don't people take a lady serious?

Ah zoomed around and grabbed that joker by his shirt and slung him back towards the open window he came from, knockin' the other lackey over on the way.

Leader Lenny opened fire on me, but the bullets fell harmlessly beside me after rollin' off mah skin. Ah heard shots open somewhere else, guess we had another wave someplace.

"Now is that any way to treat a lady?"

Ah flew at him and gave him a fistful to the teeth. He careened backwards. The other two losers had jumped up, but their eyes danced unsurely back and forth between me and the leader, waiting foah some kind signal.

The leader glared at me, nostrils flaring with rage. "So the _pretties_ have special powers now. How lucky for them." He said "pretties" like it was an insult.

"Why don't you do yourselves a favor and get out of here before someone gets hurt?"

Ah thought it was reasonable. They weren't goin' foah it. Ah have a sixth sense about these kinds of things.

"Unluckily for you, we have powers too."

Ah kept mah poker face on, but mentally ah crossed mah fingers and started recitin' "please no psychics please no psychics…"

Ah barely had time to move before huge spikes came flyin' outta the big guy with enough force to run a body through. Wow! He only seemed to be able to make two at a time, in opposite directions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction ah guess. But man was he quick. As soon as he missed he drew them back and spat them out again, again narrowly missing me.

Ah dipped and ducked and was tryin' to think quick how to get this one outta mah hair when another one shot a sticky kind of goo out of his hands. It was clear purple colored, and the second it hit ah was feeling so sick it was hard to move. My stomach churned and bile came up in mah throat as mah lips went cold. Ah felt dizzy and mah head spun, mah vision feelin' fuzzy, like my whole body was hummin' in anticipation. Mah first thought was mortification…ah just couldn't let mahself puke all over the LeBeau's family room, even if it was horribly destroyed. Bout that time ah had to dive left again to miss another spike. Ah pulled mah jacket off, and with it most of the goo. Ah felt a little better but now ah was havin' to fly like a madwoman to double dodge everythin'. Ranged attacks, bah! The third buddy seemed to melt down into shadows, creating a crater in the floor that looked bottomless. It didn't take me long to realize they were going to herd me into it. Not going foah that.

Ah flew close to the bookcase, hopin' luck would be on mah side tonight. It was. The next spike that flew out embedded a full six inches into the wood, stickin' securely. He yanked with his full body weight tryin' to free himself, but it barely budged. That done, ah flew around behind Nausea Nellie and kicked him down towards the whole. Him being so slight ah hardly had to expend any effort at all. He yelled as he fell forward, and as ah suspected, the black hole rematerialized in half a second to the tall, gangly man it had been before. Ah yanked the lining out of the couch cushions and strapped the lackeys together to make sure there wouldn't be any more holes. Then ah gave mah full attention to their fearless leader, who was still pulling furiously against his bind. Ah kicked him hard in the stomach, taking his breath away, but also loosing him from the bookcase. Pretty sure ah cracked a rib or two, but that way he'd stay off balance. Once he was free he whipped the spikes back into himself, and the three of them ran foah the openin'.

Leavin'? Ah was happy to lend a hand. Ah hit Spikey across the back of the neck with the edge of mah hand, knockin him out cold. Ah grabbed him by the scruff of the collar befoah he hit the ground, and then grabbed the other two in mah other hand, flying them up into the air kickin' and flailin'.

Then ah launched them off into the trees. "AND STAY OUT!" Ah called after them.

"Rogue!" Ah heard mah name and looked toward the familiar sound. There was Gambit, lookin' up at me, a charged card fizzlin' between his fingers. Sadly, he was lookin' at me and not at the big ape with a tree branch comin' up behind him.

"Dangit-all Remy!" Ah flew as fast as ah could but the blow landed square across his back. He tried to scramble to his feet, but caught another one instead. Ah flinched with every blow in spite of mahself. He flipped himself over and threw a lit card squarely into his assailant's face, knockin' him backward at just the right moment foah me to hit him square in the chest with both fists. Normally ah try not to use unnecessary force, but in this case ah took the offense a little on the personal side. He flew off through the trees with a yelp, and then kept runnin'. It was quiet.

Ah didn't think. Ah just grabbed Remy by his lapels and pulled him upright, checkin' him over voraciously for any injuries.

"You hurt? You ok?"

"Lower."

Mah head snapped up to see that stupid, insolent, incorrigible grin. He was fine. And ah was becoming more of an idiot every second ah spent with him. Ah shoved him back down, not sure which of the two of us ah was more irritated with. He popped back up like ah knew he would, but ah had already lifted off and headed back to the house.

"Come on swamp rat." Ah threw over mah shoulder.

When we got inside, everyone was already yellin' their "I'm ok's." Ah listened to each voice eagerly, and finally when Tante Mattie came back upstairs holdin' little Sebastien ah let out a breath ah didn't know ah was holdin'. Thank God.

Ah knew all along that they would handle this kinda thing, but ah felt better now that ah was sure. Besides…the little guy was quick becomin' mah favorite sweetheart…well…almost.

"What happened?" Remy asked. Ah waited but the family did one of their "should we or shouldn't we?" looks. Ah didn't have the patience so ah spilled it.

"They came lookin' foah ya. Fortunately ya weren't here, but they must have gotten a tip somewhere that you were back in town."

"Morlocks you mean?"

"Guess so. Do Morlocks smell?"

"Mais oui."

"Yep. Was them."

Jean-Luc stepped forward, and as always his sheer presence commanded a type of awe and respect. Ah found myself takin' a step back to hear him speak.

"Where you been, mon fils?"

Every day that went by mah French got better around here. But Remy's answer surprised me.

"At Belle's."

"Den you know?"

"Oui."

"And you made a decision?"

"Yeah."

"I see." He looked at Remy sorta curiously. "You leavin' again den?"

"Fo' now."

What?? We're leavin? Now?! Of course ah knew that this was what we wanted all along…ah just thought it'd be a while longer. At least Jean-Luc seemed pleased with his answer.

"Dat's a little more optimistic dan I'm used to."

"Jean-Luc…papa. I don' want to be a t'ief. I will never lead dis guild. Dis will not be my home, or my life. But apparently no matter what I do, dis will always be my fam'ly. De safest place fo' you to be right now is away from me, and de safest place I can be is in New York until we figure out what dey wan'."

"Remy, you know we will protect you. We always look after our own."

"Yeah but you'll also lie to me and drive me crazy. And dis is de best way I know to protect you. But I won't let dis go. I will find a way to help you."

Ah was tryin' to fight off the dejection that was threatening to explode into full blown misery, when Jean-Luc looked at me.

"I wish you really had been marryin' my son. Fo' now I'll hold no ill-will against you. Consider us your friends, madamoiselle."

I blanched, unsure of what to think, but Remy laughed. "How'd you know?"

Jean-Luc grinned, but Henri answered. "You never kissed her, idiot!"

Oh it was full misery now. Of course Remy didn't kiss me. He would never kiss me. No one would ever kiss me. Ah would never truly share a room with anyone. Ah would never be carried up the stairs by mah husband like Merci. Ah would never have a little Sebastien. This would never be mah life. Remy had asked me to pretend, and that's just what ah'd done. Ah'd pretended that this was mah family, and mah future. Ah'd made them mah friends. But like everything else in life that had been perfect and pure, it was nothing more than fantasy. Remy laughed along with his family. He didn't care that the pretense was ending. It was just a game. A little piece of me deep inside froze and then crumpled, and ah stepped away unconsciously.

Henri was watchin' me. His face became more serious and he looked almost worried foah a minute. He came over and clapped me on the back.

"But hey, dere's still time. Maybe next time you two come to visit, t'ings will be different. Hell, you'd be one sister I wouldn't arm wrestle, non?"

Ah smiled as big as ah could manage before ah moved away from his too friendly hands. Last thing ah needed now was to knock somebody out with mah dang powers.

"If you two are leavin', you'd better do it. Dey'll be watchin' fo' you to run," said Mattie, always the voice of reason.

With that we went up to our….Remy's room. He started flittin' around, gatherin' our things, non-chalant and non-affected. Ah had to pause.

Ah let mah eyes wander back over the wooden floor, the bed where ah had slept foah…how long had ah even been here? The cot, which still held his shape, the window which was often open and served as Remy's favorite seat, where he had reached foah me…

And finally the curtain he had made to keep us separate. Ah knew it had been my bidding. At the time ah thought ah was worried about accidentally touchin' him in mah sleep, an excuse which of course covered foah me bein' horribly shy about bein' intimate with anybody, much less when it was all a lie.

Now ah thought maybe there had been one more reason that ah didn't fully grasp. If ah had spent all this time sharin' a bed with the man ah was beginnin' to love, what would become of mah heart when we left?

Here we had been closest. This had been our place, where we spoke freely and came to know each other better. If nothing else, this was where we became friends. Real friends.

Ah would never see it again after this moment.

We would go back to New York, to our separate rooms and our separate lives. Ah wouldn't be important to him anymore. How did this happen? Ah was so careful, always so careful not to let mahself feel at home, because there was no home foah me. Now ah'd done it without even really realizing. Ah always had to leave, that's what made me Rogue.

Looking around this room, ah realized ah was havin' to give up more than this family, more than this house…the game was up, and ah had to give up Remy too.

The pain was familiar. It folded down inside me until it was a tight knot, and ah held it there with all the others. Ah wouldn't let them out. Maybe its just stubbornness. Maybe if ah let mahself really go through it ah would lose mah mind, or what was left of it.

"Chere…you all right?"

His voice called mah attention, as brought me back to the task at hand.

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Ready when you are." Ah doubt ah sounded convincing, but he was in too much of a hurry to bother me with it.

"Should we go and say goodbye?" Ah must admit ah was askin' hopefully. Maybe ah'm a masochist, but ah just didn't want it to be over just yet.

He grinned. "Our fam'ly never says goodbye. In fact, we're very creative at avoiding the phrase. Wanna give me a hand at keepin' de tradition?"

He gestured toward the window. Ah smiled. Good ol' LeBeau's. Ah couldn't help but look over mah shoulder though. His family didn't say goodbye because they knew they would see each other again. Ah would never see them again. Still, it was probably better.

Ah took one last breath of the New Orleans air, and then ah grabbed Remy and glided up into the sky.

The sky made me feel better. Ah know that flyin' isn't technically _mah_ power, but still its nice. It's open and free, but you can hide and no one can reach you, unless of course it's Ro, but that goes without sayin'.

Ah soared up higher and higher, and foah a while we were silent. It was dark, and the clouds overhead were growin' heavy and foreboding. Me, ah liked a nice flight in the rain, but it occurred to me that perhaps mah cargo had a more feline attitude.

"Which way to the airport?"

"East. You'll see de lights easy dis time o' night."

Ah didn't respond, just altered my direction slightly.

"Yo' awful quiet all de sudden chere. Normally you get all chatty when we're alone."

"Oh?"

Mah non-committal answer frustrated him. "What's eatin' ya? You can talk to ol' Remy."

"Nothin' Gambit. Just thinkin' about New York."

He waited foah a minute. "So we're back to Gambit? Did I do somethin' wrong chere?"

Ah sighed. "No. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why am I in trouble?"

"Yoah not. Ah'm just thinkin'."

"Well what about?"

"What? Ah'm supposed to tell you everything?" Ah was mocking what he said the other night, about keepin' secrets. Ah hoped it would get him off mah back, but it seemed to amuse him.

"Yeah. Me yo' supposed to tell everyt'ing."

"How about how ah'm gonna keep Logan from killin you when we show up together?"

"He's not yo' dad."

"And yoah not mah fiancé."

"Touche. But who knows, you behave yo'self and stop bein' so stubborn, maybe I'll let you keep dat ring."

"You want yoah dang ring? Here, catch!" Ah slipped the ring off mah finger and threw it down towards the earth, and ah heaved Remy after it. That'll teach his sorry swamp rat self.

Ok, so sometimes he catches me off guard and ah overreact. Ah snatched him back out of the air after he fell a while.

He was breathless. "Sometimes…Rogue…you make it…hard fo' me."

Ah just shook mah head, but then with one deft movement, he slipped the ring back on mah hand. How the hell did he catch that stupid thing?

"Like I said, looks good on you. Sides' its de least I can do fo' you, after you rescued me and protected my fam'ly."

"Why are you so set on makin' this as hard as possible?"

"Makin' what as hard as possible?"

Ah didn't answer and he let me stew. Eventually we reached the airport, bought our tickets to a red eye flight, and boarded the plane, all in speculative silence. He watched me and ah watched Louisiana fade out the window.

His eyes drifted from mah face when he finally spoke.

"You know, I really appreciate what you've done fo' me Rogue. I know its no small thing."

His sincerity made me look up.

"Sure Remy."

"I also want you to know dat I won't forget it. You ever need anyt'ing from me, all you need to do is ask."

Ah shrugged and looked back out the window.

"And any time you'd like to come back and visit, you'd be more dan welcome."

Mah head jerked up too quick. He grinned.

"Hard leavin' de big easy, huh?"

Ah blushed.

"If anyone understands, it's me. But dere's still plenty you didn' see, under de circumstances. We got to have beignets at Café du Monde, night clubs, restaurants, and mon dieu all de food! You didn' spend more dan an hour in de whole French Quarter!"

Ah smiled in spite of mahself. Losin' New Orleans was the least of mah worries, but it was nice to pretend ah was goin' back sometime.

"And somebody's gotta help me figure out dis Morlock mess. Otherwise I might never again have a decent gumbo as long as I live."

He smiled at me, clearly pleased with his progress at cheerin' me up, and it made a small dimple in his cheek that took mah breath away. There's something you need to understand about Remy LeBeau if you don't already. He is god awful good-lookin'.

He kicked his seat back, tucked one of those airline pillows behind his head, and closed his eyes. Ah wanted to touch him. Bad. So ah locked mah hands under mah arms and forced mahself to look out the window into the black sky.

Later, the taxi let us out in front of the mansion, and ah had to admit ah was kinda glad to be back. Still sad to not be New Orleans, but ah was itchin' to see Logan, get in the danger room, and be around a bunch of mutants again. It had been hard keeping

mah powers a secret.

Surprisingly enough to me, Ororo was the first one out the door.

"Gambit! Rogue!" She threw her arms around him tightly, excitedly…almost like a small kid. The hug she gave me was much more formal, and ah noticed. After she had greeted us her smile faded.

"How dare you? How could the two of you just leave without saying anything?"

The question was directed at both of us, but her eyes stayed on Remy. Dangit was anybody in the world not in love with Remy Lebeau?

Remy smiled. "Sometimes dere's just not enough trouble to go around, Stormy. I didn't wan' to share."

She shook her head, but her smile returned.

"At least you had the decency to have Rogue come. That makes me feel better. She is very good at keeping people alive."

Ah balked at the compliment. Maybe she wasn't in love with Remy. Maybe that was just me.

Storm continued, "Though she might have mentioned that that's where she was going."

Ah opened mah mouth to speak, but Remy beat me to the punch.

"My instructions, Stormy. Like I said, didn' wan' to share."

She cocked her head to one side and smiled mischievously. "The trouble? Or Rogue?"

He roared with laughter. Ah flushed and flinched. About that time Logan stormed out the front door headed straight foah us. His eyes were locked on Remy.

"Logan wait lemme explain!" Ah was surprised when he grabbed me by the wrist, without ever lookin' away from Remy, and dragged me off.

Ah kept yellin at him but he didn't answer until we got into the garage where he released me gruffly.

"Two things Rogue. First, we're either friends or we're not. So which is it?"

Mah jaw dropped.

"Logan, of course we're friends!"

"Yeah? We'll friends don't leave friends hangin'. I didn't know if you were dead, stupid, in trouble, nothin'! You didn't even have the decency to tell me you were leavin'! Just ran round to the Professor to tell him not to hunt you with his little toy. It was you and me before that damn Cajun ever showed his sorry face around here, and so don't be so quick to replace me."

"Logan don't you DARE take that tone of voice with me! How often do you run off and just leave me to hope foah the best? Bein' friends ain't a competition. Yoah mah friend. Gambit's mah friend. Gambit needed mah help, ah helped him. Ah didn't realize ah needed yoah permission!"

"And that brings us to the second thing. What's goin on between you and Gumbo? He makin' moves at you?"

"NO!"

"Then why do you look at him like that?"

"Like what?"

Oh gawd don't panic.

"Don't hand me a load of crap, kid. Since when do you jump at someone's beck and call? You trust him or else you woulda told me where you were goin. You didn't tell me cause you knew I would try to stop ya, because _I don't_ trust him. And ya wanted to see him. You come back all starry eyed wearin' a ring. Now talk."

Ah had to take a moment to swallow so mah voice wouldn't come out hysterical.

"You are more than crossing a line here Logan."

"Kid I think you know by now how I feel about ya, and you know how well I handle stress. You shoulda been expectin' this."

Ah was expectin' him to be mad…not perceptive.

"There is nothin' goin' on between me and Remy LeBeau." Ah don't think. Ah don't really know. Mah voice apparently wasn't convincin'.

"Rogue listen to me. If LeBeau has been leadin' you to believe…leadin' you to want somethin'…look yer a smart girl. You gotta see how he feeds off that kind of attention. You wanna look, be my guest, but yer not the type who plays. I don't want him breakin' you up fer an ego trip. I don't want you breakin' yerself up cause you were bein' too stubborn to see. You got enough on yer shoulders. You know I'm not good at this, but I'm tryin' cause I care about ya. He hurts you and I'll have to break him. Then we'll have to leave the team, start over again, you wouldn't want that would ya?"

He was trying to lighten his words by teasin' me. Somehow Logan's rough kind of affection pierces me to the core. Ah'm never sure how or why, but it happens. His face watched mine, and he must have seen somethin' of the maelstrom swimmin' under the surface.

"Ah shit. I'm too late aren't I? I'll have to kill him."

"Logan please…its not his fault. Ah'm tryin'. Ah'm tryin' so hard. Ah know its stupid. Ah know ah can't hope foah that from anyone, least of all him."

"Well if I kill him you won't have to worry about it."

"Kay. You kill Remy, I'll off Jean, and we'll go live in Brazil."

He staggered back at mah bluntness.

"You can't not love her, can you? Even knowin'? It hurts you and ah hate it. Dangit ah hate _her_ foah it! But deep down ah know its not anybody's fault, and there's nothin' ah can do to help but be there foah ya and let ya know ah care."

Logan just stared at me foah a while, then he came over an grabbed me roughly, pulling me in foah one of his tight feral hugs that almost never happened.

"I'm sorry kid. I'm too late and we're too much alike. But I do care about ya and I'm here fer ya."

Crap crap crap.

It was worse now that ah had admitted it to somebody. Ah really did care about Remy…that way…ah might even love him. Now what?

16


	15. Chapter 15

_Dear Awesome Fans:_

_Recently it was suggested that I may actually get tired of hearing the constant praise for this story. Let me be quick in refuting that accusation. Each of us loves these characters because in some way we relate to them in a personal way. While I confess that most of my personal traits are more in step with Rogue than Remy, there is one area in which I sympathize with our Cajun hero entirely: ego. I will never tire of praise. And in fact, your praises often prove the motivating factor behind my writing. So don't think to yourself "oh she's tired of me saying how much I love each and every chapter", because it's just not true. I grin and giggle and pat myself on the back with each and every review. Glad to have cleared up that issue. ;P_

Part 15: Cat and Mouse

I was worried dat I might never be able to look at Stormy de right way. When I met her she had been a beautiful little toddler wit' big cherub cheeks, russet skin, a lot o' sass and a shock o' white hair. She had needed my protection, and how could I refuse?

Now Storm had grown literally overnight into a voluptuous, powerful, and self-sufficient woman, which my eyes could see but my mind could not perceive. It was a block. When I looked at Storm, I saw chubby cheeks and wanted to mess up her hair.

With a bit o' surprise, I realized I was glad to see her. Kinda missed de little t'ing. In fact, mostly I was glad to be back at dis place. It wasn't like everyone here was particularly nice to me, cause dey weren't, but dey were trying to do somet'ing truly good here, and it was de first time I'd ever actually been close to t'ings like dat.

Wolvie was gon' cause a problem, I could see dat straight away. Frankly it was hard to miss. De look in his eyes when he charged outta dat house to meet us at de taxi was familiar. I'd seen it before. "Stay away from my girl," was backed up wit' a potent threat. Logan's not exactly a gentleman, but would he act on dat threat if de girl wanted me around? Hmmm. I always liked to push my luck.

Though bein' back was good in some ways…I mean a man can only take so much o' his fam'ly…uddah t'ings developed de likes o' which I wasn' a fan.

I didn' see Rogue. Not half as much. Not hardly at all. At first I didn' t'ink about it too much uddah den to pout ev'ry now and again. She'd been gone fo' a few weeks, o' course she wanted to see all her old friends and settle back into her home. But den it became almos' tangible. I walked into a room, she walked out. I went to find her, she had jus' stepped out. Where was she goin' anyway? Anytime I did catch her on her own, it wasn' de same. She was guarded, de conversation was on autopilot, and after a few minutes she made some excuse about headin' to de danger room or meetin' up wit' Logan or helpin' Jubilee study.

At least she was mo' polite dan Betsy, who apparently hadn't gotten over my slight. All I ever got out o 'her was a curt an' unfriendly "LeBeau." She said my last name like it was meant to be insultin'. Truth be told, I didn' miss her all too much, so I didn' care.

But Rogue was not gon' ignore me forever, so help me. I tried de direct route first. I cornered her in de library, leadin' a study group. Her eyes flickered up, but den immediately continued wit de lesson. It was a blatant dismissal. Heh. Sometimes 's like she doesn' know me at all.

"Rogue?"

Her eyes jumped back up again. "Yes?"

"I hate to interrupt, but I was wonderin' if I could talk to you fo' a minute?"

Her face stayed cool, unresponsive. "Can it wait? Ah'm sort of in the middle of somethin' here…"

"Please?" Her please had worked on me back home…maybe mine would work on her here. She took a careful breath.

"All right y'all, maybe discuss the chart on page 59 foah a few minutes? Ah'll be right back."

Jubilee an' Kitty looked up at me, an' I winked. Jubilee blushed and looked away, Kitty giggled. Rogue stared only at de floor in front o' her feet. I led her to an abandoned aisle and it wasn't till I stopped dat she brought her eyes up to mine carefully. 'S probably just my imagination, but it seems like her eyes change wit' her moods. Right now dey looked duller somehow; like a bunch o' grey got mixed in wit' de green, or like moss wrapped around stone.

Like I said, dis was meant to be a direct approach. She's usually direct wit' me. Do unto uddahs and all dat.

"Rogue you ever gon' tell me what de problem is?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, one t'ing I always liked about you was dat you don' play games. You gon' start now?"

"Gambit, you seem to be concerned about somethin'. Ah'm tryin' to answer yoah question, but ya need to be more specific. What have ah done that's bothered ya?"

See, she called me Gambit. S' not all in my head. "It's not what yo' doin', it's what yo' not doin'."

"Well what am ah not doin? Is this a confrontation or a guessin' game?"

"Ever since we got back here you been avoidin' me like I'm poisonous or somet'ing. Tryin' to get to you is like tryin' to grab water. Now if I've done somet'ing wrong den tell me and we'll deal wit' it, but dis cold shoulder nonsense has to stop. S'not right and you know it."

Her face stayed agonizingly empty and unreadable. What de hell? She was normally so open, and I loved to watch her t'oughts and feelings play out on dat beautiful stage.

She smiled, but it looked like her lips were fightin' gravity. "Remy ah think maybe yoah overreactin'. Ah'm sorry if its seemed like ah've been avoidin' you, but while you were away ah came into a lot of new responsibilities around here, and ah have a lot of catch up to do. Now if you actually need me foah somethin', then please don't hesitate to ask and ah'll do mah best, but if not then please find some other way of entertainin' yoahself. There's a lot of jobs ah don't mind havin', but babysittin' just ain't on the top of mah list."

"Dat's not it."

She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. "Well then let's hear yoah theory."

"I already told you. Dis is not a coincidence, dis is not in my head, you are not short on time: you are avoidin' me."

"Why would ah do that?"

"Dis is de question I posed to you. Why you got to be so stubborn all de time?"

Fo' jus a second some light danced behind her eyes. She hates bein' called stubborn. Met'inks de lady doth protest too much.

"As far as ah'm concerned, swamp rat, this conversation is over and dead. You want mah time? Get in line. Don't like it? Go make some new friends. Ah'm not the only girl in this mansion in case you haven't noticed."

I grinned at her. I knew she wouldn' like it, but I couldn' help myself. De girl's got personality. "But yo' de only one dat I find interestin'."

"Oh puhlease." She rolled her eyes and stalked past me. I caught her wrist, and her whole body went stiff as a board.

"Dis is de easy approach, Rogue. One way or de uddah, dis is goin' to stop. You sho' you wan' to force my hand? I got no problems bein' more persuasive…" My tone was meaningful…what can I say? I got a hot spot fo' women dat frustrate me.

She twisted her hand free, turned back around, and waved dismissively as she walked away.

"Ah got things to do, so scat," she said.

I smirked at her retreatin' back. Stubborn. No matter.

Plan B…reverse psychology…otherwise known as de ol' fashioned guilt trip. I ignored de life out o' dat girl fo' two weeks. I made myself terribly busy. I worked in de garage wit' Scott, earned some stripes dere, usurped Jean in de kitchen, pretended to be interested in Stormy's gardenin' until she called me out on it and kicked me out, I even improved on my pool game wit' Logan. He tried so hard to pretend he didn' like me, but we're both too shady to not be impressed by one anuddah. Dat, and we're de only smokers. If yo' not a smoker, you don' understand. We're fadin' into extinction. Dose o' us dat remain band together on balconies, decks, and in alleyways to share in de simple joy dat is respiratory recklessness.

When she walked into a room, I walked out. When I found her someplace on accident, I occupied myself as quickly as possible. Maybe you t'ink dis whole t'ing is childish, but she's de one who decided to play games. Sadly, she didn't respond but one time.

It was rainin' and dere was not'ing to do. Normally a little water doesn' keep me from doin' what I wan', but dis rain was stingingly cold and purely miserable. Dat's New York fo' ya. Unfortunately, de hour was so late dat bein' housebound was a lonely job. De last place to be when yo' feelin' lonely an' cold is in yo' room, so I wandered aimlessly fo' a bit fo' I decided on a smoke. Since de prof wasn' around to jump down my throat, I jus' opened a window in de parlor and sat on de sill. Like I said, I didn' feel like bein' out in dat nastiness.

I breathed in deeply, and den watched my breath mingle wit' de smoke as dey traveled up towards de heavy skies. I let my t'oughts wander aimlessly until I'd finished, and den tossed de still glowin' butt out de window. If I was gon' be devious and break some rules, might as well get it all out o' my system.

When I finally looked back into de room, Rogue was standin' just inside de doorway. I hadn't heard her come in, what wit' de rain poundin' all around. Fo' one split second, her face looked completely raw, and it stopped me from bein' able to respond.

Her eyes were so soft it all but took my breath away. Her face was open, sincere…and strangely affectionate. I wanted to curl up in her arms under those eyes and sleep like a child: a strange and tender compulsion that made me at once safe and vulnerable.

But her shoulders had fallen, and her arms hugged her torso fiercely, shoulders sagged in way that I couldn' quite identify. Was dis pain? Or disappointment? Or jus' resignation? How could a body like dis wear such a sweet, indulgent face?

It was a second. Less dan dat maybe, but dat image was etched into my memory as though chiseled into granite. No man, woman, or child had ever looked at me like dat. Den it was gone, and she smiled sheepishly. She lifted a book by way o' explanation, and made her way over to the bookcase wordlessly. Once de book had been replaced, she uttered a short goodnight and promptly left de room.

I was sure dat tomorrow would be different. She'd cracked, and she'd talk to me again, I jus' knew it.

She didn'. On to Plan C: brute force and bigotry.

I bided my time, lulled my prey into a false sense o' security. I kept talk polite, brief, and superficial. I waited fo' my cue.

It arrived in the form o' insomnia. Now I keep late hours fo' all kinds o' reasons, but when I finally decide to sleep s' normally a simple t'ing. Dis night I jus' couldn'. So I went wanderin' around de mansion.

You'd be surprised how many X-men have sleepin' disorders. I always t'ought de pure at heart slept soundly. Shows what I know.

Logan was in de garage, but in one o' his moods.

"Business hours are over, Gumbo. Garage is mine."

"Pardon moi homme, but I don' see yo' name on it.

"If ya needed my help dozin' off you coulda just asked, gater-bait." SNIKT.

"You really should have yo' blood pressure checked sometime mon ami. Yo' downright jumpy tonight." Logan took a step toward me, and I raised my hands befo' takin' a step back.

"All right, bon, Remy didn' come to ruffle yo' feathers. You wan' de grease pit, s' all yo's. Guess ol' Remy's gon' have to stake his own claim elsewhere."

SNIKT. "Guess so." Logan wandered back over to his mechanical companions wit'out a backward glance.

Unphased, I continued in my search fo' an occupation. I t'ought maybe I'd jus' take it easy and take in a movie. No dice. Piotr was out like a light in de recliner sawin' some big ol' Russian logs, and Kitty was curled up on de couch.

I almos' turned to go immediately, but den I stopped fo' jus' a moment and watched de kids. Now I got a sixth sense fo' dese kinds o' t'ings, but I didn' even need it to know dat Kitty Pryde had it bad fo' our big foreign friend. She's not de guarded type. De question was, how colossal were Colossus' feelings fo' Miss Pryde?

One o' dese two had actually decided to stay in de living room. De uddah one had stayed because dey didn' want to be apart from their mate. Regardless of who was who, no one had objected to de arrangement. Lookin' hopeful for de Shadowcat.

But this kind o' t'ought led me smack into annudah one: what was Rogue up to? Sheesh…a girl hadn't led me around dis bad since…ever. Was I gon' stand fo' dat? No!

I headed up to de femme's room, but I found it empty. Didn' de girl ever sleep? Really? Guess I learned dat answer down in Louisiana: kinda sometimes. I checked de normal spots, de study where she liked to read, de kitchen fo' a glass o' water, and finally headed down to de danger room.

Sho' nuff, dere she was, in all her leg swingin' glory. Sometimes de only way to get a straight answer out o' Rogue is to catch her off guard.

I t'ought o' all de ways I could use dis to my advantage. First I was gonna turn de danger room off and wander in dere. But Rogue's a little defensive and dat might get de conversation goin' de wrong way…like wit' her fist in my face. Den I t'ought about seizing de controls and making de course harder and harder until she had to cry "oncle" and agree to my terms, but den she'd never honor an agreement under dose circumstances. She probably wouldn't cry "oncle" anyway, jus' wait till somet'ing gave her a concussion and den I would feel bad.

In de end, it was simple. Eventually she'd wear herself out and try to go to bed. Befo' she could do that she'd have to take a nice hot shower. There would be a brief window o' opportunity between de bathroom door and de dresser where Rogue would be as off balance and close to defenseless as she ever was. And o' course, all I needed was a ghost o' an excuse.

I waited. She played right into my hand. I was waiting patiently outside her window when she flicked the lights on in her room and made her way to de bathroom. Moments later I heard de shower come on. Den o' course a new plan occurred. I could just slip into dat shower wit' her…dat'd be a surprise wouldn' it? But quickly I remembered dat Rogue deserved a gentleman…and dat she would probably kill me, accidentally or uddahwise.

While she was indisposed, I slunk inside de room and turned de lights back off. I sat on de bed at de top near de pillows. In dese cramped quarters I'd be hidden behind de bathroom door when she opened it. It worked jus' like it should. De shower turned off, and moments later she emerged. She paused in de doorway a moment, likely wondering whether she really did turn de lights on or not. But when she saw not'ing in de room, she just made her way back across to turn dem on again.

"Good evenin' chere!" I said wit' gusto. She jumped nearly out o' her skin and backed into de wall. Her eyes darted to de bathroom door, but realized too quickly dat she'd have to get by me. De window was similarly blocked, and de only option open was wanderin' out in to de hall. She considered it briefly I saw, but ruled it out befo' turnin' full force on me.

"Remy LeBeau you get the hell outta here befoah ah knock ya so hard each and every one of the saints cringe! How dare you barge in here like this!? Get out get out GET OUT!!"

"Now petit, don' be vexed wit' yo' Remy. You made de call an' left him no choice."

"Vexed!?! You wanna see VEXED?!?" She kept glancin' at the hand that kept her towel tucked firmly around her, probably wondering if she could still kill me wit'out it.

It was so temptin' to jump in an' goad her. She hadn't argued wit' me in so long it was almos' music to my ears. But I waited too long fo' dis moment to waste it. Time to be bold!

"Rogue." My voice was calm and serious. It wasn't enough to turn de tide, but it was enough to make her quiet down and pay attention. Now all dat was left was to get her off balance…in essence, to sweep her off her feet.

"I wan' you." Her eyes went from angry to panic in one millisecond. Still she said not'ing.

"I've never been dishonest wit' how I feel. I told you de first time on dat rooftop, though I'm startin' to wonder if yo' memory is spotty. I've always acted de way I wan' to around you, done what I wanted. Seems to me dat Remy deserves de same courtesy from you now."

I stood, and continued talkin' while I took slow deliberate steps toward her. She jus' kept starin' at me wide-eyed.

"We both know you've been avoidin' me, lyin' to me wit' yo' time. So tell me why. I didn' do anyt'ing. I'd remember. You don' wan' me? Tell me dat. I'll leave you alone, _if _you can' tell me why. But chere," I stopped close enough to her dat she couldn' breathe wit'out me feelin' it. "If you wan' me, tell me. Tell me now."

Her neck was craned up so her eyes could meet mine, and to my surprise, I felt dem burnin'.

Why were my eyes burnin'? Was I tryin' to scare de femme? Stop dat! No I wasn' tryin' to scare her…I was nervous. What?! Me, nervous? You only get nervous if yo' in danger o' gettin' hurt. _Mon dieu_ had it already come to dat?

I closed my eyes befo' dey could betray me further, or hurt my cause, and turned my head ever so slightly away from her before I tacked on a heartfelt "please."

To my surprise, I felt her body crush against mine. My eyes snapped open and peered back down at her. She was never like this. Mos' o' de time she's like concrete under my touch, except once, and dat was not'ing like dis.

Her hands snaked up, dangerously tracing the line of my jacket around my neck before her bare fingers wound up into my hair. She pulled me back against her, and we fell into the wall, wit' me pinning her there, and de towel between us. I couldn' help but moan, and my arms found dere way around her waste wit'out even t'inkin'.

She used her grip on my hair to pull my mouth tantalizingly close to hers. You wan' talk about off balance? Dis plan had definitely back fired. De lady had de floor, no doubt about dat.

"Remy." My name was spoken in a low, hungry voice barely above a whisper. It had never sounded so good. I didn' speak, I jus' waited.

"Do you really believe that's the problem? Me not wantin' you?"

"I was sort o' hopin' not, but I had to entertain de possibility."

"How could anyone not want you? Me most of all?"

I shrugged. "Beats me."

Her body melted against me, and there was no part o' us that wasn' touchin'. Her curves fit against me until we formed one perfect shape, and I was seconds away from losin' my grip on reality.

"Listen closely Remy LeBeau, because ah want to make this point perfectly clear. Ah want you. In every way a woman can want a man. That's the truth. And you say you want me. Just me? Or am ah just the front runner?"

Dis messed up my mood a little. I pulled back from her just enough to be able to glare more directly.

"I. Only. Wan'. You."

Her fingers loosened in my hair, and fell down until they rested on my shoulders. She leaned forward, until her lips were nearly against my ear.

"So what?"

I drew back. Dat wasn' what I expected to hear. So what?

"What does dat mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. You want me. Ah want you. Too dang bad. There is no point wantin' and wishin' and hopin'. It is what it is. Now you have the satisfaction o' knowin' that Ah can't resist you any more than any other girl. Move on and find someone else to want, cause that's as far as it goes here. And because, while we're bein' honest, yoah killin' me."

She slipped away from me and went to de bed, sliding towel and all between de sheets. She pulled the covers up to her chin and den rolled to put her back to me.

I didn' know what to do. She expected me to leave, I know. If I was hurtin' her so bad, maybe I should. As much as I wanted her out o' her shell, as much as I t'ought I could make her happy if she'd let me close, maybe de chere was right. Maybe she needed dat shell. Maybe it was better, not fo' me, but fo' her, fo' me to be out o' sight and out o' mind.

It was that last line, "yoah killin' me", dat had me caught between what I wanted to do and wonderin' what was best fo' me to do.

I watched her, knowin' she wouldn' say anyt'ing else, but hopin' she would do somet'ing to make de decision fo' me. She stayed dere like a statue.

I decided to leave. I exited de room, and closed de door quietly behind me before I leaned against it in crushing defeat.

What else could I do? I never t'ink t'ings through. I'm not'ing if not impulsive. So Rogue has to over-t'ink everyt'ing to compensate. And wasn' she right? What, I was gonna be in love wit' someone who I couldn' touch? Couldn' kiss? Couldn' hold? Couldn' do any of dose t'ings dat I'd been able to enjoy with all my uddah girls?

And dere it was. All de uddah girls.

I stormed back in dere.

She jumped an' turned. Clearly I'd surprised her yet again. Her eyes were confused and slightly annoyed. Didn' matter. My turn.

"T'anks fo' pointin' out de obvious yet again Rogue. I know how you love to have dat fall back argument to use as an excuse to push people away. Yoah right, yo' skin is untouchable. Mine isn't. Dat's a problem, s' true, but problems happen to ev'ryone. You get over dem."

She sat up, pullin' de blankets around her. "Remy you can't sit around and bank on me gettin' control at some point. You can only work with things the way they _are_, not the way they might be."

"I'm not talkin' about dat. Stop arguin' wit' me and listen fo' a minute. Yo' very bad at listenin' so you might have to focus, but its important dat you hear dis: Every uddah girl in de world can touch me. Every uddah girl can kiss me, can hold me, can even make love to me if she's in de mood fo' dat. Doesn' make dem special."

I sat down across from her, so we could be on de same eye level. "Not every girl can make me feel like dis. Not even a handful. Only you. I admit dat our situation is gonna be complicated. We're gonna have to work on it. I admit it isn't necessarily a situation dat I would have chosen on paper, but like you said, 'it is what it is'. I could fight it all I wan' if you asked, but it wouldn't do no good. When yo' gone, yo' on my mind. It makes me anxious. When yo' wit' me, dere's nowhere I'd rather be. Maybe you don' believe in dese kinds of t'ings, but I do, and I know we're supposed to be here, now, like dis. Not many people get dis chance and I'm not gonna pass it up."

She opened her mouth to say somet'ing, but I held up a hand to stop her.

"Yo' listenin', remember? Stay focused. I'm almos' done. I know yo' scared, even if you won' admit it. I know you t'ink too much and can always find a justification fo' lettin' go. I don' t'ink yo' ready to make a decision. You don' know what _would_ make you happy. As such, I don' intend to let you decide. Jus' stop dis ignorin' me nonsense and give me a chance. Let me know you. Let me try to figure this out. Stop makin' all de calls and lean on me a little. Come on, Rogue. Trust me. A little. Please."

She stared at me. She opened her mouth a few times, as though she was going to speak, but den closed it again silently. I waited patiently. Finally she sighed and closed her eyes.

"Ah don't know if ah can."

I nodded and t'ought again. Finally I came up wit' my next question. "Don't know if you can? Or if you should?"

She was pensive fo' a moment, and den replied, "If ah can."

We were dancin' very timidly. We were right on de edge o' some kind o' agreement, I could feel it. One wrong move here could botch the process up for another several weeks if not months.

Her answer led me right to my next question. "Do you wan' to?"

"Trust ya?" I nodded in reply. She paused another minute, actually t'inkin' about her answer. Dat's good. Automatic answers are usually de least true. "Yeah, ah guess ah do."

"You guess?"

"Yes ah do."

"Dat's good enough fo' me. Long as we're bot' willin' to try, I t'ink we have an understandin' dat will work."

She almos', almos' smiled. Den we were left in a kind o' awkward pause where we didn' know what should be said next. I knew dat o' de two o' us, I was de one dat was gon' have to come up with a break.

"So I got anuddah term fo' ya."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm. When we were in my home, you got to ask all de questions after hours. Now we're in yo' home, I t'ink I deserve de same courtesy, don't you agree?"

"All right. Ah suppose that's fair."

"Bon. I missed my nights wit' you." I actually didn' mean to say dat, it jus' slipped out. To cover, I kept talkin'.

"So you care if we begin?"

"Ah guess not."

"Let's ease our way in wit' some easy ones. You got bruddah's or sisters?"

"No. Ah'm an only child, far as I know."

"Far as you know?"

"Mah parents divorced when ah was six. Ah stayed with mah daddy after that."

"In Mississippi?"

"Yeah, Caldecott. Born and raised."

"How old were you when you left?"

"Fourteen."

There was no inflection in her voice fo' dis answer. It caught me a little offguard. "So young petit?"

Rogue smiled sarcastically and pointed to her chest. "Mutant."

"Family didn' take too well to de news?"

"Caldecott didn't take too well to the news."

"We'll come back to dis some uddah time. I did promise you easy questions to start. What's yo' favorite color?"

"Ah don' have one."

"Ev'ryone has one."

"Not me. Doesn't make sense. There are so many different shades of colors, and they can be used for different things. Green is beautiful in a forest, but it's not a great color for shoes. Purple could be lavender, puce, royal, deep. Ah just don't have a general favorite foah starin' at."

"All right. I'll accept dat answer. When's yo' birthday?"

"Pass."

"What?!"

"Pass ah said!"

"Come on chere, its one little date."

"That's a closely guarded secret. Ah hate birthdays and ah don't want one. You would ruin it foah me. Ah know you."

"I'm gonna find it out either way."

"Yoah welcome to try, swamp rat."

"All right, I accept de challenge and we move along."

I asked softballs mostly, determined not to leave until she was relaxed and we wound our way back to a more favorable dynamic. But a funny t'ing happened. As we were talkin' I found myself movin' slowly in tiny increments up the bed, until we were side by side rather than across from each uddah.

Next t'ing I knew, she was shakin' me gently. I opened my eyes and was sort o' surprised to see her clear green ones so close to me. Den it all came back. Guess I drifted off to sleep.

She was wearin' pajamas now, layin' on top o' de covers, which I was now mysteriously beneath.

"You feel asleep."

"I was jus' restin' my eyes." I yawned hugely.

"You can stay here if you want."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yo' actually gonna let me stay wit' you?"

"No, ah was gonna sleep in yoah room. Ah don't want to disturb ya."

"Non non petit. Remy'll get back on his side o' de sheet. I can be a gentleman when de mood strikes me."

I flipped the covers away and slid off de end o' de bed.

"Until tomorrow night den, ma chere?"

She smiled at me gently, and then her eyebrows furrowed. I almos' chuckled. I could read her again.

"Spit it out, petit."

She considered it fo' anuddah moment. "Ah just don't want to hurt you, is all."

"Ah, she wants to apologize fo' kickin' me out, but doesn' know how far I'll take it. I got it chere. S'alright. Like I said, we'll figure dis out together."

I turned to go, but den I had a better idea. I turned back around and extended my hand to her. She looked suspicious, but took it anyway. Guess she was all outta steam for fightin' me off today.

I pulled her up and into my arms, stoppin' wit' our faces breathlessly close again. I searched her face and then let my gaze rest on her perfect lips meaningfully. She stopped breathin'. I wound one hand gently in her hair, and leaned forward. Then I tilted her head down so I could kiss her hair befo' releasin' her.

"_Bon nuit and reve doux, ma chere_."

Best she start gettin' used to me now. With a bewildered flush on her face, I left her to her t'oughts.

14


	16. Chapter 16

_Ok folks, this chapter is a bit longer than the other ones, but a bit less romance packed. _

_Those of you who've read this whole thing, I could particularly use advice as to continuity and believability. Basically, are the characters and events jumping to conclusions a little too easily? Romance scenes more cheesy and less breathless than you'd like? I'd love some constructive criticism. See it's tricky because I want the story and relationships to flow naturally, but I've never actually experienced romance or intensity in my personal life without feeling kind of awkward. I'm trying to find out if the awkwardness here is me projecting my experiences onto what I write, or if what I write is just plain awkward. I know it's a fanfiction about mutants, but I'd like to try to make this as believable as I can. _

_By the way, I don't know how many Twilight fans are out there reading this (woot to you) but Rob Pattinson expressed some interest in playing Gambit in X4 (which as always may actually happen sometime in the future). Yes please. We'll just have to reserve judgment until we see what Taylor does in Wolverine: Origins. _

Part 16: Specks and Logs

It was too easy. Dangit ah let him walk right in and get to me easy as pie.

Ah don't know if this happens to all girls or just me, but it seems like you build and build the defenses you put around your heart and soul until yoah shoah you've closed yourself off forever in an impenetrable fortress. Then, magically, at the first sign of breach those walls turn out to be made entirely of honeysuckles.

What was ah thinkin'? Grabbin' Remy like that. Agreein' to trust him, let him try. What good was that gonna do anybody?

And what in all God's green goodness was ah gonna say to him today? Ah mean what had ah agreed to? Was he like…mah boyfriend? That seemed so…not…right…somehow. A boyfriend was somethin' you had in 9th grade. Describing Remy as a "boyfriend" seemed perfectly ludicrous.

These were the thoughts that flew around mah head as the minutes ticked by on mah digital alarm clock. Ah kept tryin' to think of a solution that involved me never leavin' this room again, but ah couldn't come up with a good one.

Stupid stupid stupid. No one had ever pushed back when ah pushed them away. Ah pushed Remy hard, and somehow he'd stormed back in a grabbed me like he didn't even know Ah could kill him by twitchin' wrong. Doesn't he think? Ever??

What had seemed so pure and sincere the night befoah made mah stomach turn this mornin'. "Only you can make me feel like dis"…how many girls did ah suppose he'd used _that_ one on? And there ah sat, eatin' out of his hand like a poor puppy. Ah could feel the heat risin' to mah face just thinkin' about it. Ah sure had made a fair mess of things.

Ah was just gonna hafta set him straight, simple as that. Ah'd track him down and somehow maintain enough dignity to tell him that all this was going to stop.

Problem was ah had to mean it.

On the one hand, ah was convinced that everything he'd said and done last night had been a total rouse. Ah was just another game, and he intended to win. That kinda mind set would make this easy foah me.

On the other hand, the memory of his eyes glowin' down at me, his arms around me, his scent washin' over me had mah knees shakin' and mah breath ragged.

What was the dang matter with me?

Ok, ah just wouldn't think about it. Ah'd stick with the embarrassment and indignation angle. That way ah could march right up and say what had to be said. Ah squared off mah shoulders and went to face this ridiculous day.

Unfortunately ah couldn't find Remy anywhere. Chances were he was sleepin' in, but no way was ah goin' into his room. This conversation would be had on mah turf. He had enough advantages as it was. Between that smile, the scent, that way of catchin' yoah eye that made you unable to remember what you were about to say…

Stop! Enough of that! In the meantime ah had to go teach mah study hall class, so ah was just gonna focus on that.

"Rogue, are you well?" Piotr's voice rang out freshly as soon as ah entered the room. Mornin' people.

Ah tried to make mah voice less stony when I replied bluntly, "Ah'm fine, Pete."

"Geez are you sure? Your face is like, all red." Kitty jumped in, eager to be in any conversation with Piotr involved. Well, maybe that wasn't altogether fair. We were kinda friends now and maybe she was just worried, but ah wasn't feelin' too magnanimous today.

"Of course Ah'm shoah Why wouldn't ah be?"

"Well gosh I didn't mean anything by it." Kitty raised her hands defensively.

Ah closed my eyes foah a second to regain mah composure. "Its fine, let's just get to work, ok? Piotr, ah already got yoah books on post-modernism on the front table, so you better get to studyin' foah that art history test. Kitty, here's the book title you need foah child psychology, go grab that. Anyone else need any help feel free to shout. Now Jubes you want to start with the SAT or ACT?"

Pretty soon ah was back into rhythm. Xavier and Jean pounded me hard about college after ah graduated, but ah just wasn't ready to make a decision. Ah liked the academic stuff and ah usually got good grades, but ah'd had about all ah could handle of the social experience. The compromise we made was foah me to take on some adjunct faculty roles, the most important of which was mah study hall class. Ah wasn't too happy about it at first, but after a few weeks ah'd really gotten to like it. Ah'd learned a lot about the students that used to be mah classmates, and ah felt like ah was doin' somethin' that they really appreciated. Turns out ah'm pretty good at explainin' things, and have a decent memory when its not bein' trampled by mah other personalities.

Ah also served as teacher assistant and intermittently graded papers, did plagiarism checks, handled various paperwork, and acted as substitute foah the older X-men. Ah knew darn well that this whole scheme was another of the professor's attempts to integrate me into the team. Ah'd just been surprised when it had kinda worked. Ah definitely wasn't in the core, but at least ah was kinda in the circle now, so long as ah kept up with the grunt work. Pay mah dues and all that.

As far as mah students went, Piotr was fast becomin' a favorite. He was the oldest, basically attending classes here to become more familiar with the culture, but also because he was so curious about everything. He was quiet, but nothing escaped him. Today he was havin' some trouble understandin' how post-modernism was still art.

Ah tried takin' the objective route. "Oh, these images are meant to appeal to the subconscious, not the conscious mind. So even though you might not recognize the image, it should still appeal to your emotions on a more basic level."

"But it can be interpreted differently by everyone. White in America means 'pure', but in Japan is means 'death'. To me personally it means 'snow'. If the piece is meant to be completely subjective, then it can't be criticized. If it can't be criticized, its value cannot be determined. This has no value."

"Well to be honest Pete it isn't exactly mah cup of tea either, but that's opinion. You need to understand what other people see in it."

"How can anyone see anything in all this…how you say…gobbler?"

Ah tried not to but ah couldn't help but laugh at his attempt at southern colloquialism. "Gobbledygook?"

"_Da_. That."

"You find that answer let me know, sugah."

"Now Rembrandt, he knew what was art! His use of light and dark could take the ordinary…"

He went on one of his tangents. Normally ah love to hear a man talk about art intelligently, but mah mind kept dying foah an excuse to wander off, and this was a perfect one.

Light and dark. Turnin' the lights on and findin' Remy there. His hair twisted around mah fingers. His low moan as he melted into me. "I wan' you." He'd said. What would it have been like, if ah hadn't had to stop? What would his skin have felt like? What would it be like to have his panting lips against mine?

Suddenly ah became aware of mah name.

"Rogue? Hello? Are you all right?"

Ah started and mah eyes wandered up displaced to a confused and concerned Russian face.

"Ah'm so sorry Piotr…what were you sayin'?"

"I do not wish to make you angry again with this question, but are you well? Your face…"

Piotr didn't know a polite way to finish that sentence, so he just trailed off. "You know what? Ah'm not feelin' so well. Think everyone will be ok if ah check out early?"

"I think we can manage. I can help with the finding of books. Go and feel better, Rogue."

"Thanks sugah. Yoah a life saver."

"You have helped me always. I can help also."

Ah smiled and then left them to their own devices. This had to be taken care of. Now. No distractions.

Ah stormed up to Remy's room. To heck with it, ah'll take it on any turf. Unfortunately foah me, he wasn't there either. Where did he go? Sometimes he can be so hard to get hold of, like some kind of Cajun ninja.

Ah checked the kitchen, the danger room, the tv room. He was nowhere to be found and no one had seen him. What did that mean? Did he change his mind? Was he in trouble? Ooh! Ah was absolutely NOT gonna worry about him.

But in the meantime Ah couldn't help but be antsy. When ah get a bee in mah bonnet ah gotta get it out or ah can never rest. Ah tried to grade papers foah 'Ro, but after starin' at one essay foah a full thirty minutes and not even getting' through the first paragraph, ah had to beg out of that too. Ah went down to the garage, thinkin' maybe if ah kept mah hands busy mah mind would follow. Scott was there tunin' up the jeep, and was kind enough to let me help. He'd discovered ah'm fairly handy with tools and mechanics, and normally this was the one activity we used to bond. But after ah dropped his wrench foah the third time he suggested that ah go grab some lunch and let him do some "reconfiguring". So ah decided to run to the kitchen and grab some food, but when I got in the elevator ah pushed the wrong dang button. Ah was totally useless!

Rather than explode with frustration, ah opted to go run a course in the danger room. When ah got there ah found it occupied. Normally ah leave each to their own, but today ah had to blow off some steam. Ah pressed the intercom button.

"Hey Logan, you mind a little company in there?"

It took him a few seconds to answer, seein' as he was mid-pulverize on an innocent, unsuspecting robot, but finally he said, "No problem, but if yer comin' in turn it up a notch."

Ah did as he asked and then put a 30 second delay on the course so ah could get in there.

"Hey kid. You takin' high or low?"

"Ah'll go with high foah starters. Ah could use a warm up."

"Fair enough."

The scenario was a good one. We were evacuatin' mutants from riots and aggression in Atlanta. The rest of the team were presumably acting as herders, while Logan and ah protected the bus that was their ticket out as long as we could. The idea was to beat your previous time, but the course was non-repeating and enemies were randomly generated each run, so it wasn't like you could memorize it. The city setting gave us a multi-tiered line of aggression to ward against. Ah liked this mission because it reminds you of why yoah doin' this whole X-men thing.

The buzzer came on, lettin' us know the course had begun. The danger room melted away and "presto chango" we were in Atlanta. Ah had one eye on the windows, and one eye on Logan.

"So what are ya fightin' today kid?" Logan asked as he whipped around and sliced three digital aggressors in halves and then quarters.

"Well ah'm feelin' a little antsy if you must know, and ah thought this would be a good way to blow off some steam. By the way you know we're supposed to avoid killin' anybody."

"I'm not. I'm killin' robots and holograms. Getting a little healthy aggression out of my system so I can be a regular boy scout on the field."

"Yeah? Well then ah guess the question is: what are _you_ fightin' today, Logan?" Ah yanked a bad guy out of the window he'd been usin' as a sniper base and gave him a nice chop to the shoulder to knock him out cold befoah droppin' him.

"Chuck found some old records."

"About you? That's a good thing isn't it?"

"Neither here nor there in this case."

"You wanna talk?"

"When have I ever wanted to talk?"

"There's a first time foah everything. Maybe one day the planets will align just right."

"I don't believe in that hippie crap. Up."

As per his cordial request, Ah snatched Logan up and tossed him claws first at the first of the armored vehicles. Then ah used mah own variations of "the windmill" to clean up the handful between Logan's truck and our bus befoah headin' back to the high ground.

With a loud screech of metal on metal, Logan emerged from the truck a few minutes later.

"So what's got you so 'antsy' today?"

"Mah own dang self bein' stupid."

"Yer not stupid. Usually anyway."

"Gee thanks.'

"So you gonna tell me who I've gotta beat up or what?"

"You know, violence isn't always the answer."

"If that were true we wouldn't be in here shreddin' doombots."

"Logan…do you ever find your personality…inconsistent?" Ah grabbed one joker in each hand and banged them together till they quit.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Like you keep makin' up yoah mind about somethin' and then foah some reason you find yoahself doin' the exact opposite?"

"Not really. But then I don't think like you do. I'm more of an instinctual guy, less of the intellectual type." He kicked someone in the head.

"Does that work? Just followin' yoah instincts all the time?"

"Nobody's exempt from trouble, darlin'. Door?" Ah ripped the driver's side door off the defeated truck and handed it to Logan. He proceeded to remove a row of rioters with it. "But I'm still alive. That's got to count fer somethin'."

"Well how do you know what yoah instincts are tellin' ya?"

"Words follow thoughts. Actions follow instincts."

"That is one of the most unhelpful things you've ever said." Ah grabbed a light pole and used it as a bat to get the next truck off the road.

"It's kinda hard to explain and keep in mind I have a limited vocabulary. What I mean to say is that yer instincts talk to yer body, not yer mind. Yer body decides when to eat, when to sleep, when to fight, run, all that stuff is instinct."

Crap. No way was ah gonna give my body free reign to make decisions foah me about Remy.

"Suppose yoah instincts happen to be stupid. Then what?"

"Instincts aren't wrong. They're there fer survival. They're just selfish is all. Instincts tell you what you need. Sounds to me like you could use an exercise in trustin' yerself, kid."

One of the trucks opened fire at the bus. People started screamin' inside. Ah rushed down and grabbed the bus, liftin' it into the air and carryin' it behind another buildin'. The bullets drilled against mah back. Felt like a hail storm. It stopped abruptly, and ah didn't have to look to know Logan had taken care of it.

Numbers were gettin' high though. Pretty soon one of us was gonna have to tell the bus to go and end the course.

In the meantime, we were due foah a subject change.

"So what's got you so upset about these records? Find out yoah real age or somethin'?"

"I'm 29. Don't you forget it."

Ah laughed. "Cross mah heart. So what then?"

"The records weren't about me. They were about my family."

Ah froze foah a split second and caught a baton to the head. Ah grabbed the cop by the collar and tossed him into the next county.

"Logan…that's…well that's fantastic! So where are they? Are ya gonna-,"

"Hold off kid. It's not like that. I don't know where they are, and I don't intend to find out."

Ah froze again, jaw dropped. Logan took one look at me and sighed. "Bus out." The course disintegrated. Ah made the conscious effort to close mah mouth as he stalked out of the danger room.

"Logan Ah'm sorry. Ah'm just a little surprised is all. You've been lookin' foah so long, ah thought you'd be…"

"Happy?"

"Ah guess."

"It doesn't mean anything."

"What??"

"I looked at the record. I couldn't even pronounce their names. The record is 15 years old. I don't remember anything. What am I gonna do? Go chargin' into their lives again? I don't know where they are, but I know fer certain that I'm not that guy anymore. I've got nothing of his to give them. Fer all they know, that guy is dead, and it's probably best that he stays that way."

"Oh Logan no!" Ah threw my arms out toward him, as though that would somehow protect him from these thoughts. "They're yoah family! They've probably been lookin' foah you all this time. They'll want you however you come!"

He snorted. "Yeah? Nice ideal. Is that how yer family felt about you?" It so caught me off guard that ah backed away unconsciously.

"Sorry, but lookin' around this place I've seen a lot of examples of family. A lot of pain and regret. A lot of selfishness. Parents don't wanna deal with mutant kids, no matter how good the kid is. Couples walk out on each other at the first sign of hard times. I'm not gonna do the selfish thing. I'm not gonna track my family down and disrupt their lives in hopes of remembering somethin'. As long as my memory is out, they won't mean anything to me. Some father."

He stiffened. A slip he didn't mean to make. Mah jaw dropped back down so hard ah thought it'd hit the floor. Mah voice sounded like it was underwater when ah was finally able to speak.

"You….got kids?"

"Rogue this ain't yer business and I'll thank you to keep it to yerself."

"Ah…no…of course ah won't say anything…but…Logan, you think that stayin' away is the _unselfish_ thing to do??"

Logan's blue eyes narrowed and fell on me sharp as steel. "You got somethin' to say?"

Ah bit my bottom lip, sort of wishin' ah could stop mahself, but knowin' ah couldn't. "Ah know that part of you really believes that pushin' yoah family out of the picture is altruistic, but-,"

"But what?" He practically growled. Ah was treadin' on sensitive ground, and there was no way to tread lightly. Ah love Logan, but sometimes that temper means there's no easy way to deal with him.

"But takin' the decision away from them means yoah not even willin' to consider what they might want, or need. It means yoah too scared to confront the situation, and that fear outweighs their welfare. It doesn't make you self-sacrificin', it makes you selfish."

He charged at me. Ah was so shocked ah just stood there like an idiot as he grabbed two fistfuls of mah shirt and shoved me against the wall, pullin' mah face so close to his ah could feel the heat of his distemper.

"You callin, Rogue? Good. Cause I got a dose fer you. Don't make the mistake of applyin' yer logic to me. You don't know me all that well, you only know what I tell you. I'm not a sweet little girl with a skin condition. I'm a man with no memory who only knows blood. It's all I want and I can't always control the craving. If I decide that I don't belong in a family situation then I think I'm justified, and I don't care fer yer approval any more than yer permission. It's you that likes to attribute misery to the powers that be and call it a pity party. If only you hadn't have been a mutant, you wouldn't have had to leave home. You gave up on the situation and haven't been back since. If only yer parents had loved you more you wouldn't have teamed up with Mystique and the Brotherhood. You were 16-years-old, isn't that old enough to know the difference between right and wrong? If only Mystique hadn't been so damn persuasive you wouldn't have killed Danvers. Tell me, was she there physically holdin' yer hands in place? When you decide you want to grow up and take some responsibility fer yer own life then maybe I'll come to you for advice. Until then don't be stupid enough to analyze me. It only makes you look pathetic."

He dropped me and turned to storm out of the room. "Yoah right Logan."

He spun back around and it looked like he was exerting every shred of self-control he had not to come back over and thrash me limb from limb. "Don't you take the high road with me. I've got no stomach fer it."

Ah raised mah hands in front of me defensively, just in case. "No, it's not that. Ah don't know what its like to walk in yoah shoes. Ah was wrong to try to tell ya what you should and shouldn't do. Followin' mah own advice hasn't gotten me very far, like you said. Ah can't say what's right and wrong foah a parent to do. Ah never had any kids. But ah do know what its like to be on the other end. If ah could trade it all in and be back home with mah daddy, ah would. Even better if ah could go back far enough to have mah mama, ah'd do that too. But you can never go backwards, and that choice isn't open to me. So its very hard foah me not to take the part of yoah family, since ah don't understand yoah perspective. Ah know ah wouldn't want anyone takin' that choice from me, even if ah ended up makin' a bad one. Ah'm not tellin' ya what you should and shouldn't do…ah just wish you'd think about it from the other side befoah you get yoah mind all made up."

He clenched his fists and shook his head. "You don't listen. Its. None. Of. Yer. Business. So get out of it." He turned to leave again.

"Ah can't ah'm stubborn." He just kept walkin'. "But ah do know that if ah found out you were mah blood, ah'd be thrilled. And ah think yoah family would too."

He slammed the door. Ah slid down the wall till ah was sittin' on the floor and rubbed mah temples, which were startin' to throb from the adrenaline. Didn't take a genius to figure out that we were no longer on speakin' terms. Me and mah big mouth.

Logan had never laid a hand on me in anger befoah. He'd also never said the first hurtful word. Problem was, of the many flaws he has dishonesty isn't one of them. He had a point. Everyone could make excuses foah themselves, and somewhere along the line, maybe ah'd gotten into a bad habit of convincin' mahself that ah didn't have choices like everyone else did. It certainly made things easier, and cleared me of any wrongdoing.

Ah was 14 years old when ah left home. Mah life since then hadn't been typical, and there hadn't really been a way to prepare foah the experience. Now ah'm twenty, and its time to stop feelin' like mah life is spinnin' out of control. There are two ways ah could handle the words Logan had used to shatter my self-pride: one is the natural one. Go up to mah room and cry in the dark until ah was too tired to think about it any more, repeat as necessary. The other option was to take it to heart and see what ah could do to be better.

Honestly ah liked the sound of option one.

But there was no time foah that, because ah had another choice to face: Remy. And he might just be thickheaded enough not to let it go. So if ah really did want him as much as ah did…shouldn't ah at least try to meet him halfway?

However, if ah was gonna go after option two, ah had no choice but to admit ah needed help.

That's how ah found mahself an hour later knockin' on a big oak door.

"Come in, Rogue." Sometimes ah think ah never will get used to the Professor's little tricks.

Ah took a deep breath, swallowed mah pride, and then opened the door.

"I'm glad you've come to see me, though I must say your visit is somewhat…unexpected. Please, come have a seat."

Ah closed the door behind me before ah sat in front of the desk. The Professor smiled. "What can I do for you?"

The Professor can sometimes be intimidating in how welcoming he is. He's just so…together…and good. It's almost like his very presence emphasizes yoah own insecurities. Plus there's the added bonus of wonderin' if he's readin' yoah thoughts.

Ah looked down at mah hands to find they were already fidgeting. Ah took a second to still mahself befoah ah answered. We were here now, might as well just be honest.

"Ah really don't know how to say this…"

"Take your time."

Ah did. "Ah guess ah just don't want to sound like a twit."

He nodded, very understandingly. "I promise that I will take you seriously."

Mah fingers started dancin' again, and ah looked out the window, tryin' to fumble around foah a way to start.

"I make you very uncomfortable, don't I?"

Ah jumped. "What? No! Ah mean, you don't mean to or anything..."

"Rogue, I don't take offense. You find it difficult to locate a common ground on which we can relate to each other. It's quite all right. However, I think if I could find a way to put you at ease you may find this easier. Hmm…"

"Can't you just jump in mah head and turn all that off?"

He chuckled. "Its not exactly that simple, Rogue, but yes, I suppose I could. However the effects would be temporary and superficial."

"Might as well just let me squirm mah way through this, then." Ah took another deep breath and closed mah eyes. "Ah think ah need some help."

"With what exactly?"

"Yoah psychic aren't ya?"

He smiled again. "Yes, but that's cheating. You know perfectly well that I try not to use my powers unless it's completely necessary. I find its much more progressive to have you volunteer."

"Ah thought you might say somethin' like that, but it was worth a shot. You know how you always said that maybe all the folks in mah head could be dealt with if ah was willing?"

"I do recall saying something to that effect."

"Well ah'm willing."

"That is wonderfully encouraging Rogue."

"Ok, so…you'll help?"

"Of course my dear."

"Kay…just tell me if there's something ah'm supposed to do."

Ah closed mah eyes and tried to relax.

"Do you think it's that simple?"

Ah opened mah eyes. "Hmm?"

"That I can now just…jump in your head, as you say, and hope to undo everything?"

Ah shifted in mah seat. "Well no…not exactly. I figure it'll take some time and all that, but ah thought we could at least get crackin'."

"Rogue…how to put this delicately…coming to terms with your powers, their history, their control, and confronting the presences that I have contained in your psyche…those are the final steps. There is much preparation required in the meantime. You say it will take 'some time', but you will find that it will take a terrible lot longer than that."

"Well what do you mean? What do ah need to do?"

He paused foah a moment, surveying me as though looking foah a cue. "We would need to overcome your vulnerabilities."

"To psychics? Can you become resistant to-,"

"No. Your mental and emotional vulnerability."

My fingernails dug into the arms of the chair. "So that's it huh? Ah'm a basket case? See this is why it's so hard to come to you foah help. You just jump right to conclusions-,"

"Please let me finish. You did ask for my help, I am trying to give it."

My teeth met with an audible "click".

"I have never invaded your mind when it was not completely necessary or at your request, but I have learned from the glimpses that have been allowed, and from interacting with you on a verbal level. Confronting the presences you've absorbed will be nothing short of a battle, but the planes of the mind can prove a much more challenging sort of engagement. Not only must you wrestle with the will of the 'outsiders', but with yourself. Do you follow so far?"

Ah gave a stiff nod.

"The weapons they can use are the ones you yourself equip. You do realize that you refuse to speak beyond a strictly factual tone about either of your parents, your home, your feelings in general, Rogue. You won't even reveal your own name."

Ah didn't want to admit it, but my shoulders turned to stone at just the mention of those kinds of things.

"I know from what I have seen that there are deep wounds that you have buried, rather than healed. All people do this from time to time. It is a way to protect your mind from injury it is not yet capable of sustaining. Yet if they are never allowed to surface, then they begin to fester."

"So yoah sayin' ah need to be all touchy feely?"

The Professor leveled me with a heavy stare. "No. I am saying that if you are clinging to feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and pain that you will not share with friends who you trust, how are you going to respond when it is your mind's vision of Mystique? Or Carol? Or Cody? Or Sinister? Damage that occurs in a mental battle is not a mirage, it is real. I will not risk you taking any damage that could be prevented if you would be kind enough to accept both good help and good advice."

Xavier has this particular tone that makes you feel like perfectly justified offense is actually a childish tantrum. Ah wanted to stay mad, but all the sudden ah felt like a sulky four-year-old and couldn't come up with anything to say that didn't sound petty.

"So…what do you recommend foah me?"

"I think it would help to begin with some basic psychotherapy."

"Wait…you want me to see a shrink?"

"While I'm not sure I approve of that term, yes."

"Seriously?"

"Rogue, I believe that by providing a safe setting for you to verbalize your feelings and experiences, you may become comfortable enough to address and overcome them. Moreover, with guided practice you may learn a healthy process for dealing with personal suffering in the future."

"You really think a head doctor is gonna do all that?"

"I agree that there is a certain…void of empirical evidence to support the efficiency of psychotherapy statistically, but I think in your case especially it will be not only helpful, but essential. Most people have personal influences and relationships that allow them to communicate, express feeling, and bond. You do not have these kinds of relationships, though I will not speculate why. This will provide you with an outlet."

Ah couldn't exactly argue, though ah was feelin' pretty aggravated with the turn this conversation had taken. "You got somebody in mind?"

"Actually, I do. I think you'll find it far less painful than you fear. Though we have several team members and residents here with appropriate certification, I wouldn't want to cause of conflict of interest for you here as either an X-woman or faculty member. So I believe I can arrange for you to meet with my good friend and associate, Dr. Moira MacTaggart."

"Who?"

"Moira runs a mutant medical research facility on Muir Island in Scotland. She is a great personal friend, and an advocate for mutant rights. You would meet with her via teleconference for one hour, twice a week pending her opinion. I think the physical distance, anonymity, and gender rapport will make her a perfect candidate for your particular needs. Is this acceptable to you?"

"Yoah the professor here, if its good enough foah you then ah suppose it'll do."

"I would much rather have your personal approval. I can arrange all the meetings and support in the world, but without your motivation and cooperation there is no reachable objective."

Ah couldn't help but sigh. Ah was tryin' to play nice but we were talkin' about psychotherapy here: key word "psycho".

"I know that it might not make sense to you now, but if you are really serious, and you want to make changes to the state of your mind, your powers, and your ability to relate to your past and the people around you, this is what must be done. Now is that what you want?"

Ability to relate to the people around me. Ability to relate to another person. Ability to relate to Remy.

"Yes, Xavier. Ah want that."

"Very good. I'll contact Moira this afternoon, and let you know when your first appointment will be."

Ah nodded resignedly, and then went to leave the room.

"And Rogue?"

Ah stopped but ah didn't turn. Mah pride was already in tatters. "I know that this is difficult for you…I appreciate your strength in coming to me, and…I want you to know that I am quite proud of you."

"Um…yeah. Thanks, uh, Professor."

Ah left his office as quickly as ah could manage without lookin' rude.

So grand total foah the day: Piotr thinks ah'm crazy, Logan's not speakin' to me, the Professor is makin' me see a shrink, and all thanks to one person: dang ol' Remy LeBeau.

But at least ah'd come to one conclusion: mah life was goin' to be made up of choices and consequences now, not just events with no rhyme or reason. If only that would make things easier somehow.

16


	17. Chapter 17

_Dear Awesome Readers,_

_Thank you all so much for the feedback, it was incredibly helpful to me. I was also somewhat surprised that despite my worst fears, most of you felt I was moving a little too slowly instead of too fast. Very well, I had some romance planned anyway. This particular chapter was meant to add some more action, but never fear: the next chapter will undoubtedly have some Romy moments. _

_Again, it's really been a wonderful experience to have such excited, creative, and thoughtful feedback from everyone. It's given me yet another reason to really love writing. So my question for this week is: If you didn't know anything about the X-men, do you think you would still be interested in this story? You can even do a scale from 1-10 if you like, 1=no its totally lame, and 10= I'd love it every bit as much. _

_I couldn't be more thrilled that so many of you are really enjoying the story, and I hope I will continue to live up to your expectations. Just FYI, I've estimated this story will end around Chapter 30, so we've got plenty more happy times ahead!_

_One last thing: I wanted to address some concerns about the Logan/Rogue tiff. Firstly, let me say that Logan was in no way trying to hurt Rogue when he charged at her. He was communicating just how angry he was, and trying to intimidate her out of her intrusion. Keep in mind she's poking at some very sensitive issues for him. I also wanted to preserve his very animalistic side, as its what makes Logan who he is. If we're going to love him, then we have to accept all of him, good and bad. Also keep in mind that this tiff gives our card-chargin' hero an opening to get close to Rogue without having to risk a beating every second. I think he's got quite enough on his hands battling with Rogue's insecurities, don't you? Without giving anything away, I just want everyone to know that I love the Logan/Rogue relationship too, and I'm not trying to go around breaking hearts. ;P Take deep breaths and gimme a few chapters.  
_

Part 17:

Remy LeBeau is not'ing if not observant. I knew full well dat daylight was gonna find Rogue on full alert, defenses on max and ready to charge in and undo all my fine progress. Wasn' about to allow dat, so I made myself unavailable.

I don' know why I chose de truck, it's probably de least impressive vehicle in de X-garage, but fo' some reason it suited my fancy. Besides, since it was really only used fo' utilitarian purposes like dump runs and haulin' furniture, it would probably be de least missed. I took to de streets befo' de sun was even peekin' towards dawn. 'Sides, I had uddah business to attend to.

I was keepin' close correspondence wit' my fam'ly back in N'awlins, hopin' dat we could find some sort o' leverage fo' getting' out o' dat Morlock situation. Belle's marriage was on de horizon and wit' de Assassins out from under de tithe time was of de essence. My job was to try an' find where de Morlocks' base was dese days. Though they were terrorizin' de organized crime world o' Louisiana, my fam'ly was convinced dat dey hadn't resettled dere. De easy t'ing to do would be to ask de Professor to use his special space helmet to find dem, but he has all dose morals and questions. I make a point o' keepin' my lives as separate as possible.

As such, I neither sent nor received communication at de X-mansion, but had messages passed through a series of connections to an unlabeled P.O. Box. Unfortunately dis mornin', business didn' waste nearly as much time as I'd hoped. Jus' a letter from Henri sayin' dat Belle was still at her father's house last we checked. Apparently she was gon' cash in every last second befo' she descended. She was so tenacious. Jus' once couldn' she be stubborn in de right way? A hole through my stomach still went ice cold when I t'ought about it too long. It wasn' right fo' Belle, dis life she'd chosen, but in de end it was her choice. I wasn' gon' let it fall on me. I gave her an out, it jus' wasn' de one she wanted.

I sent back a letter about a former truck station manager in Maryland who'd described what sounded to me like de Morlocks. Apparently dey robbed de place a few years prior and den headed north. It wasn' much but at least it was somet'ing.

As always, Henri's letter included a standard post script, "Merci wants to know: How's Rogue?" It translates to "De fam'ly wants to know if yo' gon' bring dat girl back cause we all like her and she'd make a first rate t'ief."

De answer is: "S' not yo' business so stay out o' it or I'll set de house on fire." What I wrote on de paper is "She's the same."

De rest o' de day I spent bein' patient. I wandered around aimlessly fo' a while, wonderin' how in de world I was gonna pass enough time fo' de girl to come to her senses when lady luck smiled on her favorite jack: dere on my right was de bright, homey lights o' de Monticello Gaming and Raceway center. You know dat warm, fuzzy, nearly emotional feeling you get at Christmas time? Dat's how I feel when I spot a casino. All I needed to do was kill time till 10am when dey opened and I was set fo' dis day.

I finally found a diner a few miles away and headed in fo' some coffee and pancakes. It's not my typical fare, but diner coffee and diner pancakes are a different t'ing altogether dan deir non-diner counterparts. If you haven't had dem, try dem. Today.

De waitress was even kind enough to put my tab on de house, so long as I came back to see dem. Amazin' how far a little courtesy will take you. All right, I flirted my pants off, but I didn't wan' to waste my cash here knowin' I was headed fo' a casino. Didn' mean anyt'ing by it. All in all I'm not sure I can even help it.

I walked into dat casino wit' $74.62 in my various pockets. I walked out dat evenin' wit $1200.12. Oh I had found my home away from home. Lights, slots, tables, live entertainment, lady dealers, dey even had horse racin'! Of course, I've never had a head fo' savin', so I bought a round o' drinks at de bar (to leave everyone wit' a good impression…can't afford a lot of sore feelings if yo' plannin' to come back) and den headed out to find somet'ing special fo' a special lady in de way of a peace offerin'. I know: I'm a genius. Can't believe I didn' t'ink of it earlier. Oh wait, I didn' have any money earlier.

Shoppin' fo' Rogue is not easy. She's not into any o' de fail-safes dat I've come to rely on: jewelry, flowers, candy. But hey, dat's what I like about her: she's different. It was nearly 9pm and I was jus' about frustrated when somet'ing happened. Guess it had been quiet around here too long.

Dere was a loud rumble and de ground shook under my feet. An earthquake? I heard folks start screamin', and some strange sounds I couldn't recognize or describe. There was anuddah rumble and de ground shook again. Sirens started in the distance. I dropped what I was doin' and took off toward de sound.

When I finally came upon de scene I didn' know what to t'ink. Cars were on fire, asphalt was cracked, people were panickin'…but none o' dat mattered when you noticed what was causin' all de destruction.

I've watched news releases and seen pictures since o' what happened dat day, but one t'ing dat does doesn't translate is de sheer size. I'm 6'2". Deir boots were taller than me. At first glance you jus' don't know what you're lookin' at, suffice to say it's probably de end o' de world. I learned dat dey were called "Sentinels" later. At dat moment I was frozen where I stood.

A bright light snapped me out o' it. De blue beam passed over me in about a second befo' it disappeared. I opened my eyes and saw only an expanse o' metal. My eyes followed it up, up, forever up, before meeting what I guess was its face. Indifferent lenses peered down at me and a mechanical voice boomed loud enough to make me jump.

"Mutant target identified. Acquisition underway. Do not resist. Cooperation is imperative."

What de?! Next t'ing I knew it was tryin' to side swipe me. Cooperate _mon ane_! I had my staff out befo' you could count to two. I used de robot's hand as a launchin' board fo' getting' up and over. I hit de ground runnin' and threw a full house behind me to cover my trail. Once I got to a safe spot I whipped out my cell.

"Hello?" I recognized Ororo's voice on the receivin' end.

"Get me de Professor!"

"Gambit, are you quite all right?"

"We got a situation here Ro', if yo' really insistent I'll tell ya about it later but right now I need you to put de man on de line!"

"Of course!" I couldn't have been more dan five seconds, but it felt like forever. I was already yellin' "come on come on!!" into de phone when he finally picked up.

"Where are you Gambit?"

"I'm near Park and 42nd, y'all better get out here fast!"

"What's happening?"

"Dere's…robots I guess…tall as de buildings! Dey're searchin' out mutants. I don't know how many but people are panickin' and it's already out of control!"

I heard him tell Ro' to put out the alarm. "We're on our way. Gambit, do not engage them until we get there. Try to locate a safe place where we can bring victims and stay put."

"I'll do my best."

"Good." De line went dead.

Ok, safe place, safe place. Outside doesn' look too safe, so what have we got o' de indoor variety? I stealthed my way around as best I could, but dere was no tellin' where dey were or if dey could see through walls.

I had my back to an alley wall and peeked around de corner jus' in time to see a woman tear by, shrieking. I pulled back around de corner fast, but she was back in my line o' sight when long steel tentacles flew out and grabbed her, lifting her off the ground and drawing her backwards. I did a double take befo' I looked around de corner again. De mech monster was dere, assuring her in its terrifyingly unaffected voice dat dere was no reason to struggle as it opened its chest cavity and began pullin' her inside, where four or five people were already strapped to the walls in hysterics.

The woman was givin' it everyt'ing she had, but it didn' make any difference. De Professor said not to engage till dey got dere…but dat screamin' was makin' my skin crawl.

I had a split second of indecision and den decided dat de Prof would probably forgive me sooner dan I'd forgive myself.

Cards in hand, I swept out into de street. "Hey, homme, you mind if I crash dis petit boum?"

De cards came out one after de uddah, explodin' pink against de tentacles until it finally dropped de girl and withdrew. Den dat beam fell on me again.

"Hostile target: mutant. Aggressive force: permitted."

The hand appendage split and retreated into the arm, revealing not'ing but a hollow barrel. He aimed it at me and I got a runnin' start. I don't know what it was shootin' at me, but I know it left steamin' craters in de asphalt, and in de end what else do you need to know? I ran in a windy path and managed to stay one step ahead o' de blasts. Finally I used as much speed as I could to build momentum befo' runnin' up de wall and using my staff to flip up onto a second story ledge.

I headed full speed back toward my foe, tossing a hail of explodin' cards befo' me. Once I got within range, I launched my staff dead on through its left eye. Though dere's some debate on de issue, I know when to play and when to get serious. I had no intention o' playin' wit' dese t'ings.

To my dismay, de t'ing took no notice o' de injury. Didn' even pause. Wasn' counting on dat. Its hand shot out to grab me again, and I dodged by jumping from de ledge back down to de ground. Unfortunately I didn' make it. One o' dose tentacles lashed out and caught me around the waist, pinnin' my arms to my sides jus' befo' my feet hit de ground. I was bein' reeled in like a fish on a hook, fumblin' around fo' my next darin' feat when I came to a jarrin' halt.

Rogue had wrapped her arms around the metal appendage, stoppin' it in its tracks. She looked back at me and raised one eyebrow.

"You know Cajun, sometimes ah think followin' directions just isn't one of yoah fortes."

With dat, she gave de tentacle a jerk and ripped it right out o' dat robot. It immediately went slack and I slid to de ground.

"A man's gotta find some way to get yo' attention, petit."

"Well, if that's yoah goal, you could try coverin' me."

"D'accord."

She started flyin' full speed toward de t'ing, and I made sure dere was an explosion blockin' her from sight every second. When she fin'ly connected, she used a roundhouse kick to the head hard enough to bust de neck. One more kick and a shove and it came rollin' off. The sound o' dat t'ing powerin' down was similar to de sound it makes in de movies when a jet engine lands. Wit' one last rumble, de robot collapsed.

Rogue turned to me wit' a glorious smile. "See, X-men are all about teamwork, sugah."

I shrugged. "Hmm. Not used to dat. Maybe I'll ease my way in wit' a partnership, hahn?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Can we at least save the day befoah you start givin' me trouble?"

"No promises."

"Drop somethin', hon?" She tossed my staff back to me and I caught it wit' a bow.

She hit a button on her communicator. "Ah got him Cyclops, looks like he's got about seven civilians on his hands."

"Are they in a safe location?"

"Not really. We had to down one of those robot thugs to get 'em."

"Find someplace now and lay low until we get to you. Tell Gambit we mean it this time, since there was obviously some confusion."

"Aye aye captain." She switched it off and den turned to me.

"Cyke says hi." I grinned. I love it when she's in a good mood.

Her face turned serious a split second later. "Ok, there's a parkin' garage about four blocks up that way. They're about as structurally sound as a buildin' can get, so let's huddle there foah now. Lower levels so we can stay outta sight."

"We got to get dem out o' de robot first."

"I'll handle that, you grab her-," she gestured to the girl I had saved earlier, now hidin' in de same alleyway I had staked out, "and start leadin' the way."

Rogue ripped open de chest cavity of our fallen enemy and I could hear her tryin' to calm everyone down. I ran over to my charge.

She looked to be in her mid-thirties, with dirty blonde hair to her shoulders. She was wearin' a purple sweater and dark blue jeans, both torn. She had skinned her knees and elbows pretty good, and de blood was quickly tryin' to stain everyt'ing it could. She had her shakin' hands clasped together against her chest. I t'ink she was probably justified.

"You ok? You hurt?"

Her frightened eyes met mine, and she jumped. I closed dem out o' habit. She wasn' de first person to feel less dan comforted by my eyes.

"I'm not gon' hurt you. I'm tryin' to help. I'm a mutant, like you."

I could hear her breathin' race as she considered fo' a moment.

"I'm Leslie."

I smiled my mos' winnin' smile. "Hello Leslie. I'm Gambit. I wish we were meetin' undah better circumstances, but I'm glad to meet you regardless."

She took a deep breath, tryin' to calm herself. "I'm not hurt, I don't think."

"I'm very glad to hear dat, but it's not safe to stay. You ok to come wit' me? We're

not goin' far, jus' gotta get out o' de streets." I kept my voice as polite and casual as I could. Tryin' to make dis whole situation seem normal somehow. It appeared to be workin'.

"Ok. Sure."

"Bon. Yo' ok. I'll watch out fo' ya. Jus' stay wit' me." I took her by de arm and we hurried up towards de parking garage. I guess Rogue had contacted Cyke, cause de rest o' de team was already dere wit' a few uddah refugees by de time we arrived.

"Where's Rogue?" Cyke's tone was in full military mode.

"She's bringin' up de rest, she tol' me to go on ahead."

"Ah'm here." She herded her group in wit' de uddahs.

"Ok, here's the plan. These things are all over the city, so we're going to have to split up to cover more ground. We'll use this as a center target, start at the outskirts of the city and work our way in."

"How thin are you spreading us? These things aren't exactly easy kills." Jubilee chimed in.

"You did insist that you were up for this, didn't you?"

"Well yeah, I mean, I can take 'em…"

"I hate to do it but we're going to have to start with groups of two."

"Two?!" Jean's eyes practically popped.

"More than enough." Logan snickered.

"We've got too much ground to cover and only so many people. We'll do tank and range strategy."

"I'm with Rogue." Logan huffed. Like hell.

"No, you're with Jubilee."

"I'm no babysitter."

"HEY!!"

"We need tanks to divert damage for the ranges. You and Rogue are both tanks. We aren't choosing dance partners here people so shut it. Colossus, with me on the south side. Wolverine, with Jubilee on west. Rogue, with Gambit. You guys stay here and protect civilians. Keep the coast clear for us. Bishop, with Jean on the east side. Beast, you and Storm take north point. Iceman, Psylocke, patrol the perimeter. Report any newcomers and try to stop any of these things that try to leave till another team can reach you."

A half dozen mouths opened to argue, but Cyke raised one hand to stop dem. "Everyone move. Keep in touch, and watch your partner."

"May the road rise to meet you, my friends." Hank said as a final adjournment befo' everyone split. All in all I'd say Team Sparkler Claw was the least happy wit' dese arrangements. I was perfectly content bein' part o' Team Gorgeous.

At first it wasn' too eventful. Rogue was patrollin' on de upper decks to see if any o' dose t'ings were comin', and I was below decks keepin' people calm and makin' sure new recruits sent by de uddah teams got in with no incident.

But all good t'ings must come to an end. I was doin' de whole hero t'ing when Rogue called me upstairs. I couldn't help but oblige.

"Gambit, we got about five of those things headin' this way. They were just circlin' foah the longest time but now it looks like they're directly on course. Ah already contacted Cyclops, he's comin' back with Colossus and called in Beast and Storm, but Ah think the robots are gonna get here first."

"Merde."

"Ah need you to get everybody downstairs mobilized. Make sure they're ready to get out on a signal. See if there's anyone who can drive a bus. If there is, get them one."

"What about you, chere?"

"Ah'm gonna try to slow 'em down."

"By yo'self?"

"Ah'm hopin' you'll move quick and then get on the top level so ah won't have to be on mah own foah long."

"I don' like it."

"Dang ah wish ah cared."

"Look, give me 15 minutes befo' you head off into de fray, ok?"

"We don't have that kinda time."

"Rogue, I don' have a communicator. I'm not 'xactly in uniform. If somet'ing goes wrong you won' know where I am or be able to contact me. Cyclops did say we're supposed to watch our partner. Give me 15 minutes to get dat stuff done befo' you head out so I can cover you."

She rubbed de back o' her neck while she t'ought it over. "Ten."

I smiled and winked at her. "T'anks." De corner o' her mouth twitched. I took off to make use o' my time.

I could've done it if I hadn't been delayed. I went out to find a bus first. In desperate times, somebody would figure how to drive it. Dat took five o' my minutes. I never did run across a city bus, but I managed to find a shuttle bus dey used fo' some youth group. Sorry youth group. I hotwired it and started makin' tracks.

Dis is where I lost time. Roads were blocked by debris, cars dat had been left, and in some cases I would have had to drive right over one o' dose sentinels, which somehow seemed like a poor strategy. I could see de parking garage, _see it_, but not get to it.

And den t'ings went to hell in a handbasket.

I was lookin' at de garage, tryin' to figure out if I could get to it by makin' an elaborate U-turn when there was a huge blast o' red. It sounded like a train wreck, and de buildin' began leanin' precariously.

De buildin' was gon' collapse, and all dose people in de basement. I knew it couldn't possibly do any good, but I jumped out o' de van and started runnin' back as fast as my legs could carry me. My eyes were glued to de scene, I couldn' even blink. Somehow, it was holdin' steady.

"Come on come on jus' wait!!" My voice sounded panicky even to me.

As I got closer to de buildin' I saw Colossus poundin' into a robot like a muscle clad soviet tank. His eyes met mine and he called out to me.

"Gambit, I have need of your help!"

"We gotta get de people out!"

"Look around, where would you say they should go?"

Oh yes, de Sentinel attack was in full swing. No way dey could get out without runnin' into one o' dose. But which was worse, capture or bein' crushed to death by a parking garage?

"Rogue has stabilized the structure for now. We must clear a path for the civilians, but Cyclops has lost his visor, we must find it! I will keep these troublemakers distracted while you search."

Is it so much to ask dat a man should run to his girl when he's worried about her? Why is dere always somet'ing you got to do first?

I started flyin' through de rubble like hurricane Katina lookin' foah dat stupid, hideous visor. I don' t'ink I've ever had less patience wit' anyt'ing.

Fin'ly! "I got it!"

"Get it to him! In de basement! And hurry!"

When I got down dere Cyclops was sittin' in de corner wit' his eyes shut as tightly as he possibly could. I grabbed his hand and slammed de visor into it. About dat time I heard Rogue on de second floor.

"If there's an X-man nearby that wants to give a girl a hand, ah'd be tickled pink!"

Scott turned to me, "Go. I'll get back out to Colossus."

Didn' need to tell me twice. I took off up de stairs. She was on de far corner o' de deck, stretched to her full height, arms above her head supporting de weight o' three floors of reinforced concrete and steel. I knew o' course dat she was super strong, but somet'ing about actually seein' dis in action stopped me dead in my tracks fo' jus' a split second.

Den she was hit wit a blue beam, and I noticed de Sentinel peering in wit' its mechanical eyes. I immediately found my legs again and started runnin' toward her. She was ok, but her skin was steamin' from de blast. Den one o' dose tentacles shot out around her waist. I could see dat it had pulled tight, but she wasn' budgin'. She swung one leg up and over, tuckin' her ankle underneath befo' she brought her leg down sharply, snappin' de tentacle into two pieces: one dat immediately retreated back into de robot, and de uddah which dropped its hold on her and fell lifeless to de ground.

Den annuddah one shot out, dis time wrappin' around her nose and mouth. She couldn't drop her arms wit'out de buildin' collapsin', and her eyes went wide as she realized she was in trouble.

But I was here now, and de cards were flyin'.

"Hey homme, you ever play a little game called '52 pick up'?" I split de deck, bowed dem wit' my hands, and let de barrage fly straight into its face. Befo' de smoke cleared, I jumped and used my full weight to drive my staff through de tentacle holdin' onto Rogue, pinnin' it to de floor away from her face.

It twisted and convulsed like a great metal snake, flippin' dis way and dat as de sparks flew. I looked toward de open chest cavity and noticed dat it was empty o' passengers, so I reached down and grabbed de tentacle, loadin' it fully befo' I wit'drew de staff and let it fly back to its owner. De explosion knocked de top half o' de robot off its legs, and he was down and out.

I didn' even look long enough to see it hit de ground befo' my attention was back to Rogue. I wish I could say dat my eyes were less dan innocent as dey scanned her whole body, but at de moment I was consumed entirely by makin' sure she was ok.

But den she laughed. I cocked my head to one side in confusion. "What could possibly be funny?"

"That was the coolest thing ah've ever seen in mah whole life!" She continued to giggle triumphantly.

I shook my head at her, but I couldn' help but smile. "Yo' a strange one, chere, dat's certain. But anyt'ing to entertain."

De buildin' creaked ominously, and Rogue's smiled disappeared as she exerted even more effort into holding it up. Her breath was heavy an' tiny beads o' sweat had popped out on her forehead. You had to look hard to notice, but her arms were tremblin' ever so slightly.

"You all right, petit?"

"Well," she said between pants, "Ah know it may come as a bit of a surprise, but this thing is actually quite heavy."

"T'ought you could lift anyt'ing wit' dat strength o' yo's."

"Everyone's got limits, swamp rat. Ah'm just tryin' to make shoah everyone's safe befoah ah reach mine."

I'm not entirely sho' why, but dis made me terribly antsy. "I wish I could help. I don' like jus' watchin' you struggle while I sit here wit' my hands tied." I guess dat's why.

She sought out my eyes, and her smile was encouraging as she said, "But you already did. Couldn't still be here holdin' the dang building up if you hadn't rushed to mah defense. Don't beat yoahself up. You did good."

I was not used to compliments from dis woman, nor was I prepared fo' one. So I jus' sat dere lookin' dumb and takin' way too long to come up wit' such a lame answer as, "Well…what did you expect?"

"A white horse and a suit of armor. But hey, ah'm not picky. Ah'll settle foah a leather jacket and a bad attitude."

Back to de abuse. "Not me. I got standards. I'm gonna get you into a dress if it kills me."

"Ah think foah once yoah word choices are completely appropriate."

De noises outside were dyin' down. Fin'ly a voice came over her communicator. "Rogue, the building is clear, you and Gambit get out of there."

She exhaled heavily in relief. I collapsed my staff a tucked it away. "Can I get a lift, chere?"

"Get on the ledge, close to the end as ya can."

I did as I was told, and she collected all her strength to give her burden one upwards shove. It gave her jus' enough time to grab me and get us out befo' our beloved parkin' garage came crashin' down. We met up with Cyclops, Storm, Hank, and Colossus on the ground as de last shred o' daylight began fading. Hank was busy hackin' de central processor out o' one of de defeated robots, and everyone else was waiting for orders from Cyclops, who was prompt in delivering dem.

"Psylocke and Iceman reported a mass exodus of the remaining robots. Jean and Bishop are transporting the civilians to the local hospital. Everyone else, regroup at the X-jet and get ready to head home. Rogue, Logan's not in shape to be mobile. I hate to ask, but I need you to go pick them up."

"What's wrong with Logan?"

"He's…not yet recovered from his injuries."

"All right, ah got enough steam left foah that."

"We'll be waiting on you."

Rogue took to the sky and de rest o' us followed orders. We didn' have to wait long befo' she showed back up wit' de last team in tow. Logan was still covered in gashes, lacerations, and blood, but I could tell he was startin' to feel more like his charmin' self cause he immediately lit up a cigar once Rogue put him on the gurney in back.

"Could you give yoah regeneration factor a break every once in a while, please?"

He blew out a huge breath o' smoke. "Nope." Seemed less cordial dan normal.

She sighed resignedly. "Can ah get you anything? Is there anything you need?"

"Nope." Definitely less cordial dan normal.

She sighed and turned, but looks like Logan had words after all. "Hey, Rogue…"

"What?"

"Check on Jubilee will ya?"

She put one hand on her hip, and reached out with the uddah one to snatch his cigar, which she promptly snapped in half. "Give a little get a little," she tossed over her shoulder as she went to check on Jubilee, who was uncharacteristically blanched and unanimated.

Rogue tried talkin' to her, asked if she was ok, but Jubes dodged her and went back to starin' out de window, also out o' character. Rogue looked concerned, but since we we're getting ready to take off she had no choice but to take her seat and buckle up.

De jet was abuzz wit' voices. Very few o' de X-men have much in de way o' a poker face.

"Did you _see_ those things? I mean, did you _see_ them?" Bobby's voice was near breaking.

"They were thirty feet tall, Bobby. Kinda hard to miss." Jean's voice was incredibly irritable, considering her usual disposition.

"Who could have sent them?" Ororo's question was laced with incredulity.

"Someone with a hell of a lot of capital. They've managed to develop their own robotic fleet and deploy them with total surprise." You could hear de gears turn in Scott's head.

"So who hates mutants enough to spend a billion dollars on their elimination?" Betsy chimed in.

"Dey weren't tryin' to kill mutants, jus' capture dem. Dat's de real mystery. Who wants a mutant collection?"

"I'm afraid I haven't the smallest notion, but I'm hopeful that once we return to the X-mansion and I'm able to analyze the processor data we will have answers, or at least clues." Hank's voice addressed us, but his eyes were already wandering as he speculated on systems, protocols, and algorithms.

Jean closed her eyes fo' a split second befo' speaking again. "The Professor is already investigating casualties and numbers of missing persons, but this attack wasn't isolated. Similar assaults were conducted in Washington D.C., Los Angeles, London, Paris, Moscow, and Tokyo. Reports are still coming in and information is incomplete."

Silence filled the cabin. What had we just been part of? At least seven major world cities filled with mutant seeking robots? Dis was…too big.

"Well…it was incredibly lucky Gambit was on the ground when it hit. We destroyed a lot of those things and prevented a lot of harm to mutants and civilians alike. We did a lot of good here today, team. The Professor will be proud." Scott was determined to stay focused on de task at hand until we were officially home and off duty. His words only cut the silence briefly, and it closed back in over his voice as soon as he was finished.

It seemed like much longer dan it really was in de somber quiet befo' Stormy finally got around to askin' me a question. "What were you doing out in the city, Gambit? No one realized you had planned to leave the school."

Sometimes de truth is more fun dan anyt'ing you can make up. "I was shopping."

Storm's eyebrows lowered suspiciously. "Shopping?"

"Yeah. Looking fo' a gift."

I waited. She bit. "For whom?"

"Rogue, of course."

De attention o' de cabin turned tangibly toward de lady o' de hour, who had assumed her stone statue stance and was avoidin' everyone's gaze by starin' wide eyed at de back o' de seat in front o' her.

De silence returned, but dis time it was electric. Only Betsy laughed.

14


	18. Chapter 18

_Well kids, here's the latest installment, I hope you enjoy. Tfobmv18 pointed out that in the first chapter, I made it sound like Remy met Logan twice, and may I say that you are absolutely and totally right. I wrote chapter one like 3 years ago, and you're the first person that caught it. Well done you! If I could give you a cookie, I would. When I get done with this story that will be the very first thing I go back and edit. Selina and Red Skippy, I do indeed have an endgame in mind. I know it seems fragmented now, but I'm hoping that everything will seem to fit together smoothly by the end. But thank you for your honesty. Constructive criticism is awesome and helps me make this story just a little better, which is what I want most. Glad to see that iloveromys is back, and I'm thrilled that you're still enjoying the story. ____ Thanks to each and every one of you for the awesome reviews, every bit of feedback is much appreciated and very helpful. I'm particularly happy that some of you find me occasionally funny. In my opinion, the humor is what makes the X-men awesome, and I'm glad that's translating. So everyone enjoy some more Romy magic, and belated Merry Christmas! _

Part 18: As Hank Would Say, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

The plane landed, and the team started filterin' out. By then Logan was back to normal and off the gurney, but his eyes seemed full of Jubilee and ah knew we needed a little more time befoah "the talk". Besides, ah felt there was a more pressin' issue.

Ah fixed mah glarin' eyes on Remy. He smiled back confidently, but stayed put until the rest of the team were off and just the two of us were left.

"Gambit, ah would like to speak with you privately."

"Dis ain't private enough?"

"No. It ain't. Ah'd be most obliged if you'd follow me to mah room."

"How 'bout my room, chere?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me and ah resisted the urge to grab 'em by the ends and yank 'em off. Instead ah said nothing, and got off the X-jet. Ah knew he would follow me.

We got to mah room, and ah ushered him in befoah slammin' the door.

"Remy LeBeau what in the blue blazes are you tryin' ta do to me?!"

He shrugged. "A little o' dis, a little o' dat."

Ah leveled him with a heavy stare. "Ah would advise you not to get all uppity with me right now. Ah asked you a question."

"Did _you_ jus' call _me_ uppity, Miss Scarlett? I t'ink maybe dat's de pot callin' de kettle black. Yo' upset cause o' what I said on de plane. My question is, why exactly?"

Ah opened mah mouth in preparation foah a fire and brimstone tirade, but mah words betrayed me, coming out in stutters and fragments.

"Why don' you jus' take a deep breath ev'ry once in a while? You get all worked up wit'out even knowin' why." He was completely relaxed, a smirk playin' across his lips.

Finally mah voice found its way out. "You knew it would embarrass me; that's why ya did it. Not exactly movin' you up on the list of people ah can trust."

"The point, chere, is dat you have a temper, and yo' gon' have to reign it in a little. You bring me in here ready to give me hell and even you don' know why. Mos' girls would jus' say 't'anks Gambit! What did you get me?' you say 'I would like to speak wit' you in private so no one can hear you scream'."

"Maybe that's because unlike you ah don't like makin' a fool out of mahself."

"How is my gift shopping making a fool out of you?"

"Because you are Remy friggin' LeBeau. If you are out gift shoppin' foah a lady, everyone's gonna think somethin's goin' on that's not."

"An' what exactly is dat?" He raised an eyebrow at me. Ah tripped over words ah didn't want to say out loud.

"That…well…that you and ah are…like…a couple or somethin'."

"Unh-huh…and what did we jus' talk about last night?"

"NOTHIN' was said about a…um…girlfriend/boyfriend situation."

He laughed, and it made me embarrassed and angry, knowin' full well mah whole face was turnin' an unseemly shade of red.

"Oh forget it! Just get outta here!"

"Wait, Rogue, wait," he said between peals of laughter, "Desole, you caught me off guard!"

"You don't make any sense."

He took some deep breaths, and finally managed to get himself under control, exceptin' of course the huge pole cat grin.

"Girlfriend, boyfriend, chere. I haven't heard dose terms since middle school. You make it sound like I'm gonna carry yo' books and slip notes into yo' copy o' 'De cat in de hat'."

Ah flushed again, feelin' totally off keel and havin' trouble keepin' on topic. "Well what daggum terms do you use in the swamp?"

"If two people were romantically inclined, a simple possessive adjective would suffice. Say, if _we_ were so inclined, I would call you 'mon femme', or my woman, and you could call me your man."

"That sounds a little prehistoric, don't you think? Introducin' somebody as a belongin'?"

"Well, you still introduce people by deir names. 'Hello Greg, dis is my Rogue.'"

"Maybe…but…this is still pointless! You an ah are not…well we're not…"

"Yes, but you agreed dat we would try to get to know each uddah, see if it goes dat way. Yo' short term memory ain't yo' best is it?"

"Ugh! Ah remember what the agreement was! The point is neither of us have made up our minds, and ah don't want a dang audience while ah'm mullin' it over. You love the attention. If things go bad yoah just livin' up to yoah reputation. Ah'll be the one who looks like a hopeless idiot foah hopin' that…"

"Hopin' dat what?"

"That things could be different foah me." It wasn't what ah was goin' to say originally, but ah thought it sounded better. How did we get so off track?

"I see. So its you dat's takin' all de risks, hahn?" His tone was accusatory, but his body language was still calm.

"That's not what ah said."

"Yes it is. You t'ink dat if t'ings go bad yo' de only one who stands to suffer from it. Or maybe I misheard you, maybe you meant to say dat if t'ings go bad it'll probably be my fault, me leavin' you right?"

"That's not exactly what ah meant, but face it Remy, where am _ah_ gonna run to? Yoah the one with the options."

"Tell me you didn' try to take it back."

"What?"

"Today I was gone because I knew you would be tryin' to find me, to tell me dat you'd changed yo' mind. Tell me I was wrong."

Ah stuttered, caught off guard by his perceptiveness, and completely flustered. Ah brought him in here to give him an earful foah bein' a loudmouth, and now ah had no idea what was goin' on. So ah just stared at him, sputterin'.

"Dat's what I t'ought. Now listen to me. Last night we talked about trust, today you aren't trustin' me at all, and I want you to know dat I understand why its hard fo' you. Yo' used to people runnin' out, and so it's a natural self-defense fo' you to expect it. It doesn't help dat I have history, but I can't change dat. What I can do is tell you what I stand to lose, and hope you can see dat yo' not supposed to be waitin' fo' me to catch you, because we jump together."

He raised his hand and held out one finger. "Fo' starters, what do you t'ink will happen to my place here wit' de X-men if I break yo' heart? You t'ink Logan's gonna let me hang around? And where would I go? But hey, I been in dat situation befo', maybe it's not so bad." He held up a second finger. "How about my wonderin' if t'ings would be different if you didn't have yo' powers. Like you said, I'm de one wit' all de options. Do you look at me de way you do because I'm Remy, or because I'm de only one who tries? And what-,"

"You!" It just jumped out. Ah didn't mean foah it. He raised both eyebrows and smiled. Mah fingers started fidgeting in front of me and ah looked away. "Ah…ah just like you. Ah coulda liked Logan, or Bobby, or even Pietro or Morty, but ah didn't. Ah like you."

"Which brings me to my last risk," he took a few steps toward me, "you could very well walk away from me. You almost did it dis mornin'. You t'ink dat wouldn't bother me?"

Ah didn't know how to answer, so ah just sorta stood there like an idiot. How does he always do this to me?

"Tell you what chere, you wan' t'ings kept between us, I'll respect dat. Doesn' make any difference to me. Least not fo' de time bein'."

Ah sighed, relieved. Its not that ah was ashamed of Remy or anything, but with me bein' so mixed up inside and bein' so far out of mah element, ah didn't need every X-lady in the place glued to me like syrup on fly paper. But still, ah couldn't help but feel guilty. When did ah turn into one of those psychotic gals? Maybe it was when ah was absorbin' all those other personalities into mah own consciousness, but still ah'd hoped ah was better than that.

"Remy, ah'm sorry. You did deserve better after all you've put up with from me so far. And ah want you to know that-,"

He rushed over to me, takin' both mah hands. "No no, hush now. Relax. Yo' not in trouble wit' Remy. He knows dat it's his job to make you feel safe, and dat's gonna take some time. I planned dis whole t'ing. Well, de robots were a surprise…"

"But ah just wanted to tell you-,"

"X-MEN: TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM."

Never fails. Stupid computer man. Ah sighed again. Guess it'll have to wait. He smiled at me, the one-sided smile that makes a small crease in the side of his mouth and brings out his dimples. It's the one that makes it hardest foah me to breathe.

"See you back at de games, chere." He let mah hands go, bowed gallantly, and left the room. This man was gonna be the death of me.

Knowin' full well how long Scott can rant, and how late it was gonna be when ah got back to mah room, ah slipped out of mah uniform and into mah pajamas: long sleeved tee-shirt and pajama pants. Ah kept mah gloves on and threw on some socks and shoes befoah joinin' the rest of the team.

When ah walked in, they were usin' the flat screen television to watch news casts.

"…_the U.S. government has officially denied any involvement…"_

"…_Friends of Humanity spokesman Dennis Sutton called the mutant abductions 'a valiant effort by watchful humanitarians to defend the world against the mutant scourge' and went on to say that the robots themselves were 'sentinel soldiers for the innocent and the defenseless.'…" _

"…_though reports are still coming in, nearly 400 persons have been reported missing worldwide, with Los Angeles and Paris being the hardest hit. Fortunately, reported casualties have been minimal. Property damage has been largely confined to roads, with an estimated repair cost of ₤3.4 million in London alone…"_

The images as we flipped from CNN to ESPN to CBS to FOX drowned out everything else. It seemed strange that ah went so quickly from fightin' these things on the streets of New York to fightin' with Remy, but the whole affair was just too big foah me to get in one go. Ah wasn't ready to accept that this whole thing was real, and ah was tryin' hard not to hear Mystique in the back of mah head. Was this the inevitable war she was always on about? How could she have possibly thought there was a way to prepare foah what ah was seein' on the video feed?

Just then, we saw somethin' on the news that made Scott drop the remote and stay put.

"_These unidentified mutants were seen in New York, dismantling the sentinels and rescuing those captured. Anti-mutant groups are calling them 'an unauthorized group of vigilante terrorists', but this woman and several others who witnessed their deeds are calling them 'heroes'." _

We froze as we watched Colossus barrel into a sentinel on the television screen befoah a red beam made the camera pan to Cyclops. A familiar face then came up as the field reporter began an interview.

"_I'm here with Leslie Moore, who says that these mutants rescued her. Leslie, what happened? Can you tell us who they are?"_

Her wide eyes were reminiscent of a deer in headlights as the camera fell on her frightened face. _"Well…I was walking back from my friend's apartment…she was sick and I had gone to visit…and this, this…MONSTER started chasing me, and it grabbed me. I was just hysterical, you know? I've never been so scared. But then there was this flash of light, and it dropped me. I don't know where they came from, but they saved me and a bunch of others and took us to the garage to try and keep us safe. The one that came first called himself Gambit, but I don't know anything else about him. I was just so grateful." _Her voice broke a little, but she held herself in check.

The voices continued, but footage of the garage rolled over the sound. God bless, it was me, holdin' the buildin' up, and Gambit lettin' his deck loose into a sentinel's face.

"_As you know, Ms. Moore, the garage was destroyed by these mutants. They have not come forward to identify themselves or take responsibility for their actions. Don't you think they were out of line by interfering without proper authority and destroying property?" _

Logan growled as his hands bit into the chair. "Talk about leading the witness," Jean interjected, her tone hot.

Leslie's voice was no less amused as she answered, _"Property shmoperty. People's lives were at stake and these guys came out to save us when no one else could, or would. And if these…X-men…are watching right now, I just want to say…well god, thank you!"_ Her tears finally spilled over, as her eyes met the camera, looking right at us.

"_Ms. Moore why do you call them the X-men?"_

"_It's what they called themselves. The one guy came to the basement with us, he was talking over some kind of radio…he kept saying 'X-men do this' or 'X-men do that'."_

Footage of Hank leaping from robot carcass to robot carcass while Ororo hurled lightning before him was followed by Bobby bolstering a wall of ice while Betsy cast psi-bolts at anything that broke through.

"WOW! I look AWESOME!"

"Shut up Bobby! This is the worst possible time!" Jean's eyes flashed as she berated him.

"You say that every time. Besides, it's better than sitting around getting depressed. You guys should know better than to watch the news."

"Robert, if you wish to pursue your role as a teenage ignoramus with no real understanding of the world around you, then please proceed to your quarters. If you want to be an X-man, then stay and learn what that means. This is our calling." Hank's voice was calm, and it made Bobby slink in his chair, sulking.

Finally the Professor wheeled into the room, and the television was turned off. His shoulders were still square, but his eyes were worn and his whole face seemed to sag. His smile had only half its usual charisma.

"My X-men," he began, "your efforts today were nothing less than extraordinary. As hard put as you have been, I wish I could say that we were at the end of our work rather than the beginning."

"We've been discovered, Professor."

"We always knew that discovery was both a risk and a probability of our public service. It was this reason that prompted us to develop code names and uniforms. There was no real way for us to address an emergency of this magnitude without being noticed. However, we will all have to take extra precaution to not be recognized outside this mansion for fear of jeopardizing the school and the children. We have far greater threats to address at this moment than the world becoming aware of our existence."

"Professor, having conducted a cursory investigation into the central processor I recovered today, I must say that the technology is formidable. I am currently without means of breaching the security systems without actually destroying vital information, which I am not willing to do. It will take me some time to gain enough understanding to access and interpret the data." Hank's voice was sheepish and sullen. It wasn't every day he was outwitted in electronics.

"Take what time you need, Henry, but make this your very first priority. People are missing and the processor is the only clue we have as to where they may have been taken."

"You think they may still be alive?"

"Killing someone is far less trouble than capturing them. I am convinced that these hostages were meant to be kept alive, but for how long and what purpose I cannot say."

"With all due respect, Xavier, even if we knew where they were, how do you expect us to rescue 400 people? We're good, but we're not that good. We're not an army." Psylocke's words finally voiced what we were all thinking.

"I cannot expect that of you. I will never ask you to do the impossible, but we will play as large a part as we possibly can. Jean and I will travel to Washington, D.C. tomorrow to address Congress, and then seek an audience with the United Nations."

"You really believe the government didn't have a hand in this, Chuck?" Logan's cynicism wasn't hard to detect.

"I don't believe the whole government was involved. Whether a small sect of it participated is, unfortunately, a possibility, but if they did they did so illegally. It is up to us to keep this issue in the forefront of the public mind. We were blindsided by this attack; with everyone paying attention hopefully the powers behind it will find it too risky to make another move. X-men, there are many people against us, but do not forget that we are not still without friends. We will solve this issue as we have solved all others, with teamwork."

Somethin' in his words sounded a little suspicious to me. "Professor, what exactly are ya sayin'?"

"That this problem must be resolved. And we must be willing to do everything in our power to see that it is. To this end, I have contacted Magneto."

There wasn't a body in the room that stayed seated. "Hear me, X-men. I know that he is our enemy, but he is a powerful man and an avid advocate for mutant rights."

Scott's voice thundered in first, "He's an advocate for mutant supremacy! If we're associated with him then how can we get people to listen to us when we say we want mutants and humans to live peaceably?"

"I would not have asked for Erik's help if it had not been absolutely necessary, Scott."

"It's NOT absolutely necessary. With the government, the army, the UN, surely we don't need to involve the Brotherhood!"

"Four hundred people Scott. An army of mechanical warriors, which no one has claimed, and no one knows anything about. We cannot afford to leave any stone unturned."

"Shouldn't we at least vote on it?" Bishop volunteered, equally unenthused.

"No. The few people in this room have no right to jeopardize the fate of those who are missing. The decision is made."

Half the team flopped back into their chairs, exasperated, but Scott stayed standing, clenching his fists, unwilling to yield. Finally he inclined his head toward me.

"Rogue, you were with the Brotherhood," Oh gawd, really? We're going to do this again? "therefore your opinion is valid. What do you think?"

Oh…oh. Ah had to admit, ah suspected that this was a loaded question, but ah figured under the circumstances answerin' honestly was the only way to go.

"Mind you, ah don't know much about Magneto personally…ah met him once but it's not like we had long conversations. He was in Europe with his team, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Pyro, and Mastermind foah most of mah time with the Brotherhood, and ah was under Mystique here in the states. But from what ah do know, ah think they'll be after the same goals as us whether we work together or not. Protectin' mutants is one of their main deals, and ah think we'll all move much faster if we just work together. But Professor, ah gotta say it: the difference between them and us is that when we find the people who did this they're gonna try to kill them all, not bring them to justice. Ah'd hate to see y'all tainted with that kinda reputation."

"I know. That is why I am restricting our cooperative efforts to cracking the code on the processor and creating a detection and alert system to prevent future attacks. They will not be granted access to the full code, which will contain the origin point for the sentinels."

"They won't stand foah that. They'll agree to it if they have to, but it'll be a lie."

"Yes I know. We're going to have to trust in our own ability to outsmart them in that case." The Professor fixed his gaze on Scott, who nodded to me curtly befoah taking his seat. Ah couldn't tell whether ah'd given the wrong answer or not. Ah knew the Brotherhood was wrong, but ah just didn't believe they were bad people like Scott did. At any rate, the issue appeared to be settled.

Logan cleared his throat and stood. "I know this is the part where we normally start talking about all the things we did wrong, but I'd like to say somethin' else first. Today was the first time I've ever worked closely with Jubilee here," he gestured to her across the table, and she looked up at him with wide eyes, "and I gotta say she really earned her stripes. I got us into a real situation, and she toughed it out and pulled through." He ran a hand through his hair, not used to sayin' so many words together in front of so many people. "Just wanted you to know ya did a good job today, kid."

Jubilee stared at him foah a second or two, and we all waited foah the trademark Jubilee gloat. Instead she jumped out of her chair and ran out of the room. Ah don't know quite what it was in her face that made me run after her, but sure enough ah found mahself sprintin' down the hall.

"Jubes? Hang on a second sugah!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Just tell me what's wrong!"

"I'm quitting the team. I gotta get out of here!"

Finally ah grabbed her by the shoulder, "What are ya talking about? Just cause Logan gave ya a compliment?!"

She shoved me off, but stayed put. "You guys don't get it. You think I'm so bubbly all the time because I'm young and stupid. You think I want to be on the team because I'm overconfident and after some kind of sick 'fun'. You don't know anything about me."

"Well tell me somethin' then."

"I have to try all the time. It doesn't just happen to me like it does for you guys."

"What doesn't happen?! Sugah yoah not makin' any sense."

"You guys get beat up and knocked down and then you get right back up and things go back to normal. It doesn't work like that with me, it changes me."

"You think we're _normal_?"

"Why am I even talking to you? You don't even know what happened."

"So tell me!"

"You wouldn't understand!"

Jubilee took off up the stairs, and ah followed a few steps behind. When she finally got to her room, she slammed the door in mah face. That finally got under mah skin a little, so ah went out a window and yanked hers open.

"Jubilation Lee you quit actin' like a dang brat and talk to me!"

"It's none of your stupid business!"

"If yoah plannin' on leavin' the team, leavin' the school, and leavin' mah study hall class, then it is mah business. Now you can either act like an adult and tell me what the problem is, or you can act like a dumb kid and ah can give you one heck of a time out at 10,000 feet till you cool off. Which is it gonna be?"

"But that's just it, there isn't a problem! Logan blew up and I was just fine. There wasn't a problem at all!"

"Honey, Logan blows up all the time."

"I'd never seen it before. It should have bothered me."

"It didn't?"

"No." Jubilee sank down on her bed, looking utterly deflated.

"Ok, what exactly do you mean Logan blew up? What happened?"

She sighed. "He was fighting one of those things, and I was covering him. Then he got sideswiped I guess or something, I couldn't really tell. He fell with his claws out and punctured a propane tank."

Ah couldn't help but wince, poor Logan. She pointed at me. "See that? That's the reaction people are supposed to have. And I'm just telling you the freaking story, you weren't there to see it. When I got over there his face was blown off. I could see the metal grafted to his bones…his eye sockets were empty…pieces of the tank were jutting out of his arms and legs." Her eyes welled up and overflowed in almost the same instance.

"Oh sugah ah'm so sorry!" Ah went to try to grab her hands, but she shoved me off again and jumped up.

"Don't you get it? I didn't even flinch! I threw some light out to give us cover, grabbed him, and dragged him away. Once we were out of sight I started yanking the shrapnel out of him. His whole body was convulsing and bleeding, and I didn't throw up, I didn't cry, I didn't scream. I'm 15 years old! I'm supposed to freak out! I held him down till he stopped shaking, and then once he had skin again I went and got him some clothes. We laid low until he was well enough to be moved and then we contacted you guys. I keep waiting, but there's nothing wrong with me. I might as well have gone for a walk in the park today. That's not _normal_!"

Her body shuddered with her sobbing as she her voice got louder and louder. Ah just stood there stunned, and not havin' any clue what to do.

"I try so hard to feel things, as often as I can, but it just keeps getting harder. My parents gave me up, I got shoved from foster home to orphanage to foster home. Then just when I find a family that wanted to adopt me, it turns out I'm a mutant, and everyone wants to kill me or hurt me or lock me up someplace. I wanted to be an X-man because I thought it might scare me, or inspire me, or make something happen inside! All my life I've been terrified that one day all the bad stuff would just snuff me out like a light, and I wouldn't be able to feel anything anymore, and then I wouldn't be ME anymore. And now I know it has already happened!"

Finally her voice gave out, and she started gasping in ragged breaths, the kind that only comes from really cryin' yoah eyes out. She sat back down on the bed, clutching the sheets with all her strength and tryin' to get ahold of herself.

"But Jubes…if ya don't feel anything…," ah reached out mah hand slowly, drawin' a single tear onto the tip of mah glove. "then why are ya cryin'?"

"I-I-I d-d-don't kn-kn-know!"

Ah sat down beside her on the bed, and fixed her with a level stare. "Let me tell you somethin' Miss Lee. What you felt today wasn't nothin': it was resolve. The chips were down, you saw what needed to be done, and you did it. Ah don't think ah've ever told you about a friend of mine. Her name is Merci. See, she was always such a persnickety kind of girl, didn't like to get her hands dirty or have her hair out of place. Then she got married and had a baby. She loves that baby more than anything in the whole world. And you know what the baby does?"

Jubilee looked at me like she thought ah was crazy, and had no idea why ah was tellin' her this. "He gets food in her hair, and throws up on her, and needs to have his diaper changed, and drools." Jubilee laughed a little because she couldn't help it, but it sounded like it probably hurt.

"Things that would have bothered her just don't anymore, because she loves him, and it's more important that he be ok than for her to be clean and comfy. Do you get what ah'm tryin' to tell ya?"

"Hon-honestly?"

"Ah didn't think so. Look, we're a team, and we're a school, but we also care about each other. Well, except maybe Bishop." She laughed a little again. "But we want you here because we like you, who you are. And the reason you didn't freak out when Logan exploded is because you care about him, and you knew he needed you. Yoah one tough cookie, sugah."

"Y-you really think th-that's it?"

"Ah'm convinced of it. And besides," ah pinched her shoulder and she smacked mah hand, "no one's gonna take the spunk out of you, girl."

"H-how can you be so sure?"

"Cause you didn't choose it. No one can make you one way or the other. If you want to feel things, then you will. Its only when you make the choice, like ah did, to put everything in a sealed box that you can stop feelin' things, and lemme tell ya, keepin' feelin's in is a lot harder than lettin' them out."

"Why would y-you do that?"

"Well Jubilee, it turns out that yoah a stronger person than ah was at yoah age. See, everything just got so bad that ah decided that nothin' was better than all the pain. But once ah started buryin' things, that box just kept getting bigger. Now it's so big that ah'm afraid to open it. If ah let mahself feel all that ah think ah'll just shrivel up and blow away. But there are some things that ah want to feel, and so ah've got to take the bad with the good."

"So what, we're exactly opposite?"

"Ironic, isn't it? So how about this: you stay here, and we can be accountability partners. You throw in the towel and it's probably gonna set mah recovery back about 10 years. Plus ah think Logan would feel just terrible."

"Logan won't care."

"Now I don't know about that," came a gruff voice from the other side of the door. Jubilee's face turned bright red.

"Come on in here, Logan, if yoah gonna pussyfoot around anyway."

Logan pushed the door open, and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I wasn't tryin' to spy. Just wanted to see if she was ok."

"Well come on in and have a look, sugah. Ah was just on mah way out." Jubilee looked up at me with wide eyes. "Don't worry Jubes, he doesn't bite. He's just obnoxious. And ah think you two might wanna have a talk, huh?"

Ah stood up to take mah leave, but Jubilee stood up too and surprised me by puttin' her arms around mah waist, pullin' me into a hug. True to form, ah froze like a statue and tried to back away. She let me go.

"Sorry…I just wanted to say thanks, Rogue."

"Uh…shoah sugah. Anytime."

Ah headed toward the door, but as ah passed Logan he caught mah shoulder and gave me a long look. Befoah he could open his mouth, ah held up a hand to stop him. "Later, Logan, one thing at a time." Ah tilted mah head towards Jubilee befoah ah finally got out of the room.

Ah briefly considered goin' back to the conference room, but then decided heck with debriefing, ah'm whooped. Mah shoulders and arms were startin' to ache from my earlier excursions, and mah eyes were startin' to feel heavy with want of sleep.

Ah trudged back up to mah room and opened the door only to find mah bed occupied.

"It amazes me dat you bother to look surprised every time, chere."

"What do ya want, Cajun?"

"Don' you remember? Nights are mine. We agreed on it."

"It's nearly one o'clock in the mornin'!"

"A deal's a deal."

Ah let mah breath out in a huff, but closed the door behind me. Slowly but surely, ah was learnin' to pick mah battles with Remy Lebeau. Ah walked in and kicked mah shoes off into the closet.

"You all right tonight, Rogue?"

Ah laughed sarcastically. "What kind of question is that?" But then ah thought about it foah a while. "You know, aside from the big mutant war that's happenin' and all the missin' people and the world outside this house, ah'm doin'…kinda good."

"Oh yeah? Why do you suppose dat is?"

"Well, we saved a lot of people today. And ah think that ah really might be an X-man now."

"You weren't already?"

"Ah was, but on probationary status. Ah've kind of felt like everyone's lookin' at me in a glass box since ah got here, and today was the first time ah didn't feel that at all from anyone, not even Scott. Ah feel like they're finally startin' to rely on me, and ah kind of like it. It was never like that with the Brotherhood."

"What was it like wit' dem?"

"Like every man foah himself. Ah mean ah thought of Mystique as a mother, but it was always a little weird. Ah didn't want to admit it, but ah always kinda knew she'd be ok without me. And ah knew that mah usefulness was the most important asset ah had. Or maybe ah didn't know it, maybe its just hindsight. It was always just a little colder than a family should be, ah guess."

"You get chatty when yo' in a good mood, you know dat chere?"

"What do you mean?"

"Normally I have to pull teeth to get you to come out o' yo' shell, and now yo' jus' leakin' all over de place."

"Hmm…maybe yoah right. Can ah get in mah bed now please?"

"Not jus' yet." Ah groaned. "I had somet'ing I wanted to try."

Mah body went positively rigid and mah breath caught. What was he talkin' about?

"Rogue, breathe. It's not anyt'ing big." Ah did as asked. "See I been t'inkin' about dis whole trust t'ing, and also about de touch t'ing." Ah stopped breathin' again. "Come on chere, relax. Put dose hackles away and listen fo' a second."

"What are you on about, Gambit?"

"Remy. My name is Remy. I hate it when you do dat."

"Do what?"

"Whenever yo' mad at me or wan' to push me away, you call me Gambit. It means yo' not listenin'."

Ah retorted with a very mature, "Nuh-unh."

"Den sit down an' say 'please go on, REMY'."

Ah sat down in the desk chair, crossed mah legs, and said, "Go on, swamp rat."

"Close enough. So long as s' not Gambit I got yo' attention. Though my proper name does sound so nice rollin' off dose lips o' yo's."

Ah couldn't stop mahself. Ah blushed. "Dangit, why do you like to do that to me all the time?"

"What?" He asked, puttin' on his most innocent face.

"You know just exactly what." Ah glared at him.

"Very well, petit, let's get back to business. Dis trust/touch issue. See one o' de ways people build trust is through touch, but you got a special case, oui?"

"You noticed?"

He ignored me, "De 'ting is, you can touch jus' as much as you wan', so long as it's not skin. You got in dis bad habit o' stayin' away from everybody jus' in case. So I t'ink maybe we should fix dat."

"Um, but…"

"I'm not goin' to try anyt'ing. Not tonight anyway," he flashed me another of those smiles that melts me, "but I was t'inkin' dat after today yo' back must be killin' you. So, if it's ok wit' you, Remy'd like to work on you a little. Totally innocent. Part of our trust therapy, which you agreed to."

"I don't know if that's-,"

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"But Rem-,"

"Come on, please? Every once in a while you got to jus' let me do t'ings, and not fight me de whole way. I t'ink dis should be one o' dose t'ings."

Ah took a deep breath, and closed mah eyes foah a moment, tryin' to come up with a valid reason ah could argue. Unfortunately there wasn't one. Ah opened mah eyes.

"You swear you'll be careful? If you touch me ah'll just-,"

"I swear. Now come over here."

Ah hesitated, but eventually pulled mahself out of the chair and put one foot in front of the other until ah had reached the bed. He grabbed one of mah wrists and pulled me gently down in front of him, sittin' with mah back to him. He was entirely too close, well within mah personal bubble, and ah found mahself nervous as all get out.

He gently gathered mah hair and placed it over mah shoulder. Then he ran the tips of his fingers slowly, gently down mah back a few times, raisin' goosebumps along mah skin under mah clothes.

His voice was distressingly close and low when he said, "Rogue, relax. It's ok. I'm not gon' hurt you, you aren't gon' hurt me, but you keep up wit' dis statue t'ing it'll ruin de whole point."

"Ah'm sorry…ah don't really know how to…ah'm a little nervous."

"Dat's ok, chere. I can help." His palms flattened against me and slid around mah waist. He pressed himself against mah back, resting his head on mah shoulder. He was so warm.

"That's not helping."

"Gimme a second, woman. Now close yo' eyes." Ah swallowed hard befoah lettin' mah eyelids sink.

"Now focus on jus' lettin' yo' face relax, like yo' asleep…Forget de rest o' yo' body, and let yo' eyelids feel heavy, yo' mouth be soft…Keep de worry out o' yoah eyebrows…Breathe. I'm here wit' you, and everyt'ing's fine. Take some deep breaths, and den turn yo' attention to yo' neck. Try to relax…let yo' head hang forward…"

He continued this way, workin' his way with his words down mah shoulders, back, arms and legs, until finally ah relaxed into the idea that we were here together, and he was touching me.

"You ok now?"

"Ah think so."

"Bon."

He leaned back, placing his hands on mah shoulders, kneading them with his thumbs. If ah coulda purred, ah could have. As it was ah moaned softly and let mah head fall down to mah chest.

Ah could hear the smile in his voice. "Was dat so hard?"

"Kinda. Ah've never had a backrub befoah. Where did you learn how to do that?"

"What, make you relax?"

"Yeah."

"Why, Tante Mattie o' course. Dat's how she used to get us back to sleep when we had nightmares. 'Cept she would put a chair near de bed and play with our hair, so we'd know she was dere till we fell asleep."

"She's a smart lady."

"One o' a kind. But remember, chere, it's still my turn to ask de questions." His fingers made small circles on either side of mah spine as he worked his way down mah back.

"What do you want to know now?"

"What do you miss most about yo' home?"

"Mississippi?"

"Mmmhmm."

"That's hard to answer."

"Work in tangibles, not feelings."

"Ok, then it would be one of three things depending on mah mood: Daddy, mah guitar, or Pied Piper."

"Go on."

"Well, ah miss daddy, but not like he was last time ah saw him. Honestly ah miss him most like he was befoah mama left. We were happiest together then. After that ah sort of reminded him of her so much…but anyway, enough about that. Mah guitar because it's kind of an extension of the best in mah parents. See, mah mama had to take piano lessons when she was a kid, and she hated them. She wanted to learn to play guitar and be a rock star or somethin', but her parents said it wasn't proper foah a young lady, and piano it was. But she went to all the clubs, and she met mah daddy there. He played in a band called "Flatbed", and he said that when she walked into the place you couldn't see anything else. At the time she was datin' a friend of his, so he couldn't do anything about it, but he overheard her whinin' about wantin' to play guitar, so he went and bought her one, had to delivered to her house as a 'secret admirer'. But secrets were hard to keep from mama, and as soon as she found out it was him they became inseparable. At least foah many years. She never did actually learn how to play it though. She was a bit on the whimsical side. Once ah got old enough, ah found the thing in the attic, and ah asked daddy if he would teach me to play. It kinda pleased him that ah took after him, and so our guitar lessons became our best times together."

"How come you don't just buy yo'self a new one?"

"Ah don't know. Ah haven't played since ah left home, and ah probably stink."

"It'll come back to you."

"Ah think it would be hard now, to think of him that way. It's easier to think of the bad stuff."

"You got to remember t'ings how dey were, not just de good or de bad. T'ings dat happen, happen so we can learn. You shouldn't let de bad stuff take away t'ings dat you care about."

"Yeah well, ah'm tryin' but ah gotta start with baby steps."

"What do you mean?"

"That's what ah was tryin' to tell you earlier," ah stifled a yawn, "you were right about me wantin' to take everything back."

"I know dat."

"But what you don't know is that ah talked mahself out of it." His fingers paused foah a moment and then continued.

"Oh?"

"Well, ah had a little help, but ah realized that ah've been convincin' mahself that things just happen, and that ah don't have choices. But it turns out things happen because of choices. And ah decided that ah want to try to make the right choices with you."

His hands stopped again. "Are you giving me positive reinforcement?"

"Don't let it go to yoah head, Cajun." Ah let out another yawn. "Yoah hands are really warm."

"I'm hot-blooded after all, petit." He let his fingers trace mah shoulder blades, and ah moaned softly again. "So what's Pied Piper?"

"Oh yeah. Pied Piper was mah horse. Pip foah short."

"You ride horses?"

"I rode that horse."

"Yo' full o' surprises, chere."

"He was mah best pal. And the handsomest boy you ever saw. Maybe even handsomer than you."

"You t'ink I'm handsome?"

"Do you really need me to tell you? Ah should think you'd know that well enough by now."

"Ah, but handsome is subjective, chere. I know dat I'm handsome to some people, but it'd be nice to know dat I'm handsome to you."

"Where do you keep that ego so it doesn't show?"

"Trade secret. Maybe I'll let you go looking fo' it sometime."

"One of these days, Remy,"

"You gonna answer my question?"

Ah shrugged his hands off mah back and turned around to face him. Ah nearly got nervous again when ah saw how close he still was, but ah managed to fight it off. Ah chewed on mah lip as tried to think of a way to get him to do what ah wanted.

Finally, ah reach up slowly with one hand, and stroked his hair. He stayed perfectly still. Ah reached up with mah other hand, runnin' mah fingers up either side of his jaw and then gently in his hair, massagin' his scalp.

At last! One side of his mouth turned up, making that crease in his cheek.

"There!" I pointed.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"That smile."

"I have more dan one?"

"Yes. That one is mah favorite. It means that yoah tryin' to do somethin' to make me happy, or occasionally it means ah've done somethin' that makes you happy. It's yoah best kind of mischief. When you smile like that, yoah the handsomest man in the world."

Ah beamed at him, pleased with mahself. Ah was glad ah'd found a way to make him do it when ah wanted.

He smiled that smile again, and rubbed the back of his neck, lookin' away almost like he was embarrassed.

"You know…yo' very beautiful, Rogue. You been smilin' more often…it kind of catches me off guard."

Ah felt mah face set a new heat record, but this time ah felt mah mouth creepin' into a bashful grin so ah hid behind mah hands.

Ah felt his fingers curlin' around mine, and his voice was gentle. "Don't do dat. Come back here. I got a question fo' ya."

"How many questions are ya gonna ask me? It's quarter past two!"

"Just one more tonight den I'll let you rest."

"Ah remember that line: 'just one more thing'."

"But I mean it dis time."

"Well out with it."

"If I was gon'…say...ask you on a date…what would you say?"

"Ah would say 'maybe', and make you wait foah a few days so you don't get a big head."

"And after dat?"

"Ah just might say yes, so long as you promised to be a gentleman."

"But it's so much more fun when you let me not be a gentleman."

"Remy Lebeau yoah a lot of trouble."

"Yes I know. Goodnight, chere."

"Goodnight, sugah."

He stood and went to the door, but stopped with his hand on the knob.

"Friday night then?"

"Yeah, Friday sounds good." He smiled and opened the door.

"Remy?" He turned back around.

"Thanks foah savin' me today…and foah the backrub."

He grinned and walked back over. Ah held mah breath as he leaned down and planted a kiss on top of mah head. Then he winked. "Anytime, petit, anytime. And back at you."

He went back to the door, but stopped one last time. Ah laughed at him.

"One last t'ing."

"Ah thought so."

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"To play wit' my hair, to make me smile…"

"Tante Mattie's a smart lady."

He grinned one last time as he closed the door behind him. "One o' a kind."

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	19. Chapter 19

_Hey there kiddies! I'm sorry that this was so long in coming, but the holidays hit like a train and I was helping my parents move and starting a whole new semester at the same time. Ugh, real life. Anyway, I know everyone has some high hopes for this chapter, and I have a feeling many of you will be a little disappointed, but I promise these things will work out and there's some excellent Romy on the way! Thanks everyone for reading, can't wait to hear what you think!_

_Tfobmv18 – I swear Remy is going to open up and have his turn to shine. Probably in the next chapter or two. I just gotta get Rogue to a point where she's comfortable enough with him to start making some demands and showing her southern. ____ Thanks for reading and for the review!_

_Roguechere – Thanks for the comment my old friend! ____ If only these moments would last…but that up/down dynamic is just so characteristic of Romy. You can't just leave it out. _

_Shandy – Awww…I loved reading your review! You're so enthusiastic! I'm glad you enjoyed the hair bit…I was worried it was a little overkill, but honestly these are the kinds of things you notice about somebody when you've got it as bad as Rogue does. ____ Thanks for reading!_

_Bologna121 – Ah, the hair bit. I liked writing it. I always really loved Remy's hair and wondered what it would feel like…sigh. As to Jubilee, I used to really hate her too. Then I got this idea of her that wasn't so annoying, and we're cool now. Jean Grey is currently occupying my slot for "least favorite X-person ever". _

_Red Skippy – I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! I promise there will be more happy Romy moments in the near future. He does have fabulous hair doesn't he? ____ Thanks so much for reading and leaving a review!_

_Selina – You always leave me such detailed commentary! It makes me downright giddy with glee. Thanks in particular for the feed back on the news segments. It was actually quite tricky to write when I got down to it, and I'm glad you thought it flowed well. I promise Rogue and Wolvie won't be estranged for long. They aren't really estranged now, they just need to have the official talk. I hope you won't be too disappointed with this date, but hey, all the back and forth will (hopefully) have a sweet payoff. Thanks as always for you review!_

Part 19: Karma

Yes de weather outside was frightful, but as long as we kept our attention indoors, t'ings couldn' be rosier.

Well, except dat de X-men t'ing seemed to be on steroids. De professor and Scotty-boy were on full red alert. Strategy meetings, danger room sessions, evaluations, one right after de uddah. De world outside was getting dark, but when I t'ink back to dat time, it seemed like all de light had drawn together into a pinpoint, and dat was me an' Rogue.

We were not together. Every time t'ings got too close she was quick to remind me, but whatever we had…it became important. Not dat it wasn' before, but it was different somehow.

Rogue is not de easiest femme to deal wit'. She was worse back den, cause she wasn' used to me. It was like tryin' to play chess blindfolded only yo' opponent keeps stealin' yo' pieces. Fortunately, I'm used to de courting game. De difference is dat wit' uddah girls, all de wooing was jus' payment fo' one big reward. Wit' Rogue, I actually enjoyed de wooing. I looked forward to de small moments where we were alone together, to de sound o' her voice…and when she would let me touch her I tried to memorize it: de weight o' her hands, de silk o' her hair, de swell o' her cheeks when she smiled.

What always stunned me is dat she always felt so small in my arms. Of course she's slender, but she's a tall girl, and strong. I'd watched her lift a building, throw simulated trucks, and put holes in brick walls by accident, but holdin' her…felt like she could slip through my fingers like a breeze.

But let's move on befo' I put anymore holes in my already tarnished reputation. See, while Rogue and I were developin' our romance, we were also developing the other trait fo' which we are known: fighting.

Y'all wan' to know about de date, huh? Let me indulge you. Remy LeBeau is not one to leave de femmes wanting.

Normally first dates aren't as grave to me as everyone else seems to make dem. Mos' o' de time not'ing important happens. Dis time however, I had invested so much and fought so hard jus' to get dere dat I was determined not to make any mistakes. So I decided not'ing too fancy, stick to what I know. If I'm comfortable, maybe she'll be comfortable. Why don' I ever learn?

I kept it simple: dinner, a nice drink, wit' de option but not expectation o' dancin'. I always like to leave myself a chance to get lucky. So I stuck wit' an old favorite: Swing 46 Jazz club, wit drinks, food, and live jazz music every night. It had never failed me in de past; hopefully it would work on Rogue.

She seemed excited at first while she shot down all my dreams.

"Sounds like mah kinda place, but ah ain't dancin'."

"Now why don' you wait til you hear de music at least?"

"The last thing ah need is to fly skin first into some poor passerby after ah trip over mah two left feet."

"Don't worry chere, bot' my feet are right, so you can' go wrong!"

"It's not too late foah me to cancel swamp rat."

"I'll consider dis conversation postponed den. Besides, exactly how much skin you plannin' on showin' chere?"

"Depends on yoah behavior between now and then, sugah," she shot over her shoulder wit' a wink and a smile. I closed my eyes and t'ought o' grannies and cold showers.

Fin'ly Friday rolled around. Rogue tol' me to meet her down by de pool house, seein' as we were still keepin' mum on de nature o' our relationship. I was runnin' late, but it takes time to look as good as I do.

My dress shirt was solid black offset by a white tie and silver cufflinks. My slacks were black with white pinstripes and a white belt, stretching down to my black and white wingtips. Sometimes de classic look is de only way to go, and so to top off de outfit I donned a black fedora wit' a white band. Classic may be classy, but you all know me: I got to have a hint o' color. To dis end, dere was a red handkerchief in my jacket breastpocket, and a small red feather tucked into my hat band. De swinger style works fo' me. My hair was slicked back, and spicy cologne wafted around me irresistibly. One last spin around in de mirror, and my optimism about dis evening increased a hundred fold. If dis didn' hit its mark, den my name wasn' de White Devil.

Wit' a flourish I headed off to meet my lady. I was feelin' so cocky I hadn' even contemplated what Rogue might be wearin', which is probably why de wind got knocked out o' me when she stepped around de side o' de building a few minutes later.

"Why Remy LeBeau, what do you mean by keepin' a lady waitin' so long? Ah thought maybe you'd changed yoah mind."

Her black halter top dress fit snugly over her well-toned shoulders, and hugged the curves o' her chest so dat when she took deep breaths I couldn' t'ink. A red sash pulled the black fabric tight at her waist befo' her skirt flared out, sportin' red polka dots before it cut off just above de knee.

I had never seen e cool, pale flesh o' dose long legs before, and I drank them in wit' my eyes through de silk panty hose. Dere is not annudah set o' legs in de world so gorgeous as dose. Mmm. Dey went all de way to de floor, or rather, dey went down to a pair of strappy red heels that set off de outfit nicely. Her hair was set in long, loose curls, half piled on her head where a red rose was tucked in, and half allowed to cascade down to the beaded red wrap adorning her shoulders. Her shimmery lipsticked lips were twisted into a beckoning smile dat let me know she knew exactly what she was doing to me.

"Ah don't suppose we coulda planned this any better, huh Cajun?"

I was still starin' at her slack jawed, so it took me longer den necessary to realize she meant dat our outfits matched.

"Oh…well…no, I suppose not. I bet all de uddah couples leave as soon as we walk in. How could dey compete?"

She smiled and took a few steps forward, extendin' her hand (which was wearin' a short, black lace glove) and touchin' de side o' my face gently.

"Ya look good Remy."

I grinned at her.

"I'd have to be fo' a girl like you to take me out in public." I extended my arm. "You ready, mah chere?"

"Mah mah, yoah all manners this evening." She hooked her arm through mine, and the sweet scent of peach blossoms, lilac, and jasmine washed over me and made me wan' to bury my face in her neck. Fo' de sake o' de rest o' de evenin' I resisted de temptation.

Once we got all settled into Scott's much abused Camaro ( I don' t'ink dere's anyone in de X-mansion dat hasn' borrowed dat t'ing wit'out askin'), Rogue suddenly got all quiet, and her fingers twisted in her lap.

"You all right chere?"

"Just fine, thank ya."

"Warm enough?"

"Mmhmm."

I paused while tryin' to come up wit' somet'ing else to say, havin' decided not to call her out. "Excited about dis?"

"Um…yeah, Ah guess Ah am."

"Not exactly a glowin' endorsement." I couldn' keep de pout completely out o' my tone.

"No no! Ah didn't mean it that way. Ah'm really excited. Ah haven't ever been to a swing club befoah."

I raised an eyebrow, but didn' press further. Instead I turned on de radio and we listened to some pop-type rubbish quietly fo' the next several minutes. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"Ok, it's two things."

"I'm all ears."

"One…well…ah've never been to a swing club. Is what ah'm wearin' ok? Ah mean, its not too much? Ah won't look silly?"

I laughed at her. I couldn' help it. Sometimes she seems like the oldest woman alive, and den when you least expect her pigtails show and I wish I could give her a lollipop.

"It's not funny! Ah tried to find some things on the computer, and ah thought this was right but now Ah'm not sure. Ah don't want people to stare." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Chere, yoah outfit is perfect. You look exactly as you should. But everyone's still gonna stare, me most of all." I grinned and reached across to caress the hem o' her skirt, and she popped me away with her handbag much as I suspected she would, but at least she smiled.

"Very well petit, one down, one to go."

She took another deep breath, and her cheeks flushed lightly. Mon dieu she looked beautiful.

"Well…um…Ah'm 20."

"So?"

"Firstly that might throw a wrench in yoah cocktail plans, and secondly…are they gonna let me in?"

"You just t'ought o' dis now?"

She shrunk down and admitted bashfully, "Not exactly but ah'd already bought mah dress and didn't want to say anything."

I laughed again. Dis was anuddah strange t'ing about my relationship wit' Rogue: she made me laugh a lot whether she meant to or not. It was…nice…I liked it.

"Fortunately fo' you my devious little vixen, dey know me dere. We won' have any trouble on either front."

"Yoah gonna let me drink?"

"I'm yo' date, not yo' pere. Jus' take it easy on me and I'd be happy to let to try a t'ing or two."

"Are you tryin' to get me snockered so you can take advantage of me?"

"I'll leave dat up to you, petit." I winked at her and she rolled her eyes, but a snicker escaped those perfect lips.

So far, so good.

We arrived at de club, and I opened Rogue's door and helped her out o' de car befo' handin' de keys to de valet. Like I said, I was determined not to make any mistakes. We passed by the line, and I caught de eye o' my good man.

"Mr. Lebeau, good to see you again."

"You too, Brent." I slipped a bill discreetly into his open palm.

"We have your usual table ready for you, sir. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance."

"T'ank you, we will."

Rogue gave him a friendly smile as we passed, tryin' to be polite, but Brent barely acknowledged her with a stern nod and a curt, "Miss." Her face looked confused fo' a second but she didn' give it much t'ought. It set uneasily wit' me, but I shook it off. I shouldn' have.

We arrived at the familiar setting, small table for two, candlelight dancing across de white linen table cloth and reflecting off de fine china and crystal glasses. I pulled Rogue's chair out and made sure she was seated befo' I sat down. She had scarcely had time to compliment de place before our waiter sashayed up to de table, gushing.

"Remy Lebeau! I was beginning to worry I had seen the last of you!"

"Hello Jean-Paul. Would I leave wit'out sayin' proper goodbyes?"

"Judging by the menagerie of skirts you've paraded through this club, I imagine you're quite the expert at it. Speaking of, who's this?"

Rogue looked a little flabberghasted, but extended her hand, "Hi. Mah name's Rogue. It's a pleasure to meet you…Jean-Paul, was it?"

He took her hand and kissed the back of her glove. "What excellent manners! And Rogue! My what an intriguing name! Why she's just plain adorable Mr. Lebeau. What a shame she couldn't find anyone better to spend her evening with." He shot her a wink, letting her know that he was being playful, and she smiled indulgently though it was clear she wasn' sure what to make o' him.

He turned back to me. "Tsk tsk Mr. Lebeau. You shouldn't pick on the sweet ones."

"Jean-Paul -,"

"Ah yes! I seem to be dressed as a waiter. May I take your drink orders please?"

"I'll take a Manhattan, s'il vous plait. And if you feel inclined to more commentary, den I'll also take a bowl of French pre-madonna soup."

Jean-Paul laughed uproariously, barely pullin' himself together enough to manage, "And for the lady?"

Rogue was starting to look a little flustered, but managed to smile and politely ask, "Actually ah was thinkin' of tryin' somethin' new. What would you suggest?"

"Well, it's not as sweet as some of our other cocktails, but I must say Stephen makes a glorious pear martini! It's a perfect blend of mild sweet and tangy crisp."

"Sounds wonderful. Ah'll try one of those please."

"She's got good taste, Lebeau, I'd consider bringing her back sometime. I'll be right back with your drinks." He hurried away befo' I could respond.

"He's quite a character…"

"Yes well, dis is the theatre district."

She nodded and opened her menu. I opened mine as well, feelin' a little off kilter after Jean-Paul's thinly veiled accusations. Did he always talk like dat? Or was it just tonight? I couldn't remember. All I knew is dat de man would pay good money to be my date fo' an evening. Fat chance.

Well we'd just have to get this show back on track.

"Now chere, if you'd like an appetizer den dat's fine, but I can't let you leave here wit'out tryin' de pie."

"Oh?"

"C'est magnifique! De crust practically floats away in yo' mouth, and vanilla ice cream mixed wit' de homemade warm apple filling is jus' like a little slice o' heaven."

"Ooh that does sound good on a chilly day like today. In that case, why don't we just get a salad foah an appetizer?"

"You can have my share."

"You don't like salad?"

"Rabbit food."

She smiled. T'ings were warmin' back up. "Fine, we'll skip the appetizer. But don't blame me if yoah arteries start to look like Mount Rushmore."

"Who knows? Maybe if I can find a nice girl to get me in shape I won' need to worry about de vegetables, n'est pas?"

She gasped playfully, causing her chest to heave and my pulse to rise. "Why Remy Lebeay Ah never!"

But just den de band started to play. I had forgotten how loud de music was. It was good, and de place was hoppin', but we had to lean over de table and practically shout to hear one annudah. I guess I hadn't been as interested in conversation de uddah times I was here. Now it was drivin' me crazy! I finally get de girl on a date, and now I can' even ask whether she's havin' a good time.

Jean-Paul brought our drinks, and we ordered our entrees: Pan-seared red snapper fo' me, and pasta primavera fo' Rogue. She seemed to like de pear martini, and ordered another when she finished it. We watched de couples twirl around de dance floor, and occasionally tried to comment on dis or dat, only to give up after repeating "what?" and "say again?" over and over.

I watched Rogue out o' de corner o' my eye, and she spent her time doing one o' three t'ings: pretendin' like she wasn' watching me, staring longingly at the couples on the floor, and lookin' a little bored. Dis wasn't exactly what I had in mind, and finally I resolved dat I needed to get her to dance if I was going to save dis t'ing.

I leaned across the table again and cupped my hand around my mouth. "Would you like to see de fountains?"

"What?"

"Would you like to go see de FOUNTAINS??"

"Oh. They have fountains?"

"What??"

"YES ah WOULD like to see the FOUNTAINS!"

I nodded across the dance floor, and den offered my arm, which she took before we started making our way across de room. When de song stopped we were strategically in the middle of the dancers. I stopped and grinned at her, using this brief pause in the racket to speak.

"Turns out dey don' really have any fountains."

Her eyes darted back and forth in a panic. "Remy what on earth are ya tryin' to do?!"

"Relax chere, its just one dance."

"But ah don' know how…"

"You don' need to. I got dis. Just follow me."

"Please Remy ah don't wanna do this!"

The music started back up. I pulled her close to me, putting my mouth near her ear so she could hear me.

"Jus' breathe."

As always, she went rigid under physical contact, her hand like granite in mine and her waist immovable.

I leaned in again. "Rogue, trust me. Loosen up."

She took two quick breaths and den let her guard down marginally, but her eyes were still flittin' to de people around us. Carefully trying not to muss her hair, I turned her face back to mine, indicating wit' my fingers that I wanted her to look at me. Dose jade jewels met my eyes obediently and it gave me a surge o' confidence. Rogue is de only girl who has never ever balked at my eyes. Sometimes it's endearing, sometimes it turns me on somet'ing fierce.

First we swayed back and forth a few times, settling into de rhythm. Den I threw in a few breaks….together, break left, back together, break right, spin, pull back, together, repeat. After a few times she started to get a little more confident, flowin' wit' de motions, and smilin' up at me. Me, I was grinnin' ear to ear the whole time. Holdin' her close and movin' together was at de top o' de list when it came to my favorite t'ings.

Finally I pulled her back close and said, "You ready to have a little fun, petit?"

Her eyes flashed a warning. "Behave yoahself please."

"While yo' wearin' dat dress?" Wit' dat, I spun her out fast, and pulled her back, catchin' bot' her hands. Amazingly, she landed right on beat, almos' smiling triumphantly but stopping herself to give me another warning glare. I grinned cause I love a challenge. I grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off de ground and den swinging her down between my legs before I brought her back up and set her down. Her eyes were wide and she had two fistfuls of my sleeves. Folks were starting to eye us appreciatively.

"Remy…"

"You better hold yo' breath, chere." I said wit' a smirk as I pried her hands loose.

"Remy listen to me please."

"Not a chance. I'm in my happy place."

I swooped dat girl up into my arms wit'out annuddah word, and she renewed her rigidity tenfold. Dis was fine fo' my next move: I swung her legs around behind me, catching dem and den swinging her torso back around, pulling her back into de same position she started. De crowd whooped and like an idiot I got caught up in de moment, throwing her legs so dat she flipped over my other arm.

Apparently all de swingin' around left her dizzy, and when her feet met de ground she reeled and den tripped. I reached out fo' her, but too late. She careened into annuddah girl who gasped, froze fo' about five seconds, and den collapsed on de floor. De crowd went abuzz as dey closed in around the fainted swinger, and in de hullabaloo Rogue plain ol' disappeared.

I felt my stomach lurch. It was only a few seconds, but I knew how much Rogue lived in fear and dread o' dese little mishaps dat were so much a part o' her identity. I remembered her face in Sinister's lab, terror and worry and disgust. I remembered her face on de rooftops of Nawlins, when she t'ought dat her powers had driven yet annuddah person from her life: full o' pain to be sure, but more shadowed by shame. Not'ing worse dan dis could have happened. What was I t'inkin? Swinging her around like dis in a crowded room? She had dressed dangerously in an effort to impress me, and I had used de opportunity to embarrass her half to death. I just wanted us to have fun. I wanted her to see dat we could be a normal couple, even if only sometimes. I wanted to shake her out o' dat shell, just let her live in de moment. Dis place had worked wonders on all de uddah girls.

No time to mope. I was not going to take dis lying down. It was just an accident, everyt'ing was fine. Dis evening was going to be saved yet.

With no small effort, I managed to push myself through all dose bodies, but dere was no sign o' de girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid. De girl on de dance floor finally came to, feelin' strange, but it seemed de crowd had attributed it to de heat, alcohol, and exertion. I paced a hole in de floor lookin' fo' Rogue, until finally I came around and saw her reseated at our table. I rushed over.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

Her face was perfectly masked when she replied. "Ah'm fine. Ah think Ah'd like to go home now."

"Now?"

She didn't repeat herself, just sat looking at me coolly and waiting fo' me to say somet'ing.

"Chere, everyone jus' t'inks de heat was too much fo' her. We're fine."

"Yes, but you and Ah know it's not just the heat. Could we leave please?"

"Oh come on chere, at least give me a chance to try and save dis. We were havin' such a nice time. No reason to let one little incident spoil our night on de town, oui?"

"Ah'd rather just-,"

"Besides, you promised to try de pie. Come on, one little slice o' pie and den we'll go, I promise. Fo' me?"

She waited and gave me a long, deliberating stare.

"Fine. Order the dang pie."

I motioned over to Jean-Paul, who returned abruptly, grin firmly in place.

"And how is the happy couple getting on this evening?" He cooed.

De sarcasm in Rogue's answering smile was very thinly veiled, and Jean-Paul's smile fell a tiny bit. I was overly jovial to compensate.

"Tres magnifique, mon ami! In fact, I t'ink we're finally ready to try some dessert."

He clapped his hands together and turned back to Rogue. "Wonderful! What would you like, beautiful?"

"Mr. Lebeau here has given the apple pie quite a review, Ah don't suppose ah can leave without givin' it a try." She gave me a pointed glare as she spoke dat made me wince a little. I could certainly use a miracle.

Jean-Paul huffed playfully. "He always gets them to fall for the pie. You'd think he'd get tired of it after a while. He doesn't always bring such talented dancers though, Rogue dear. You two looked fabulous on the dance floor! Shame about that lush though. Gracious the stories I could tell you from this place!" He rolled his eyes and chuckled, but when he caught my expression he straightened up and cleared his throat.

"All right then, two slices of apple pie coming right up!"

We sat silently at the table, watching the band descend from the platform as dey took de intermission break. Finally I conceded de fact dat de only way back uphill was de path o' submission and swallowed pride.

To dis end, I took a deep breath and offered, "Would it help if I said I was sorry?"

Her eyes cut over to me. "Depends on what yoah apologizin' foah."

I opened my mouth to respond, seein' an opportunity fo' salvation plain on her face, when de nail hit de coffin wit' a loud thwack.

"Well if it isn't Remy Lebeau. What an unexpected and…incredibly pleasant surprise." De voice was like heavy silk, smooth and deep, and de confidence in it was thick as honey.

I turned and saw both a vision and a nightmare at de same time.

Emma Frost, vixen extraordinaire was sauntering over to de table. Why dis one? What had I done to deserve dis? I had met Emma a few years ago at a dis very club. I was out looking fo' trouble, and she was sex on white heels. It was one stupid night, and we hadn' even made de pretense o' exchanging numbers. Granted it wasn' de worst night o' my life or anyt'ing, but still…

Her eyes made brief observation o' Rogue, who smiled up at her incredulously. Emma wrote her off quickly and den leaned on de table, clearly cutting between us.

"Where have you been hiding yourself Remy darling? I hope you're staying in town at least a little while?" De invitation in her voice was plain, but it was only half fo' me. De uddah half was meant to incense Rogue who only continued to watch, dat confusing smile still on her face.

"No. Just in town fo' de evening wit my girl. It was good to see you, though, Emma." I t'ought de dismissal was obvious. Shows what I know.

"I see." Her eyes slid grudgingly to Rogue. "How rude of me! We haven't been properly introduced, have we, sweetheart?" She made de endearment sound like name-calling.

"I'm Emma Frost. I wouldn't be surprised if Remy hasn't mentioned me before. Our brief liaison isn't something one can mention in mixed company, you know."

Rogue took one look at Emma's extended hand and left her hanging high and dry. "Rogue."

"Hmm…I don't think he mentioned you either. Ah, men. What can you do? I don't suppose you would mind if we combined tables, would you Rogue dear?"

Emma had set her agenda, and if I had learned anything in our brief time together years ago it was dat Miss Frost was accustomed to getting her way. She wanted Rogue gone so she and I could relive old times. If it had been any uddah girl, she probably would have been successful.

"Actually Emma, it turns out dis table is a little more exclusive den it used to be. Like I said, it was good to see you."

"Why Remy, I'm hurt." Funny, her voice sounded more amused to me, even though her lips were in a full pout. "Surely any woman brave enough to spend an evening with Remy Lebeau can stand up to at least a little healthy competition."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but to my intense surprise, Rogue laughed, and stood.

"Oh sugah, the only problem with this competition is that nobody ever wins. Still, since you've got yoah heart set, please, have mah seat. Ah was just leavin' anyway and ah hear the pie is delicious." Rogue giggled to herself once more, and den headed fo' de door. Merde.

I rose to go after her, but Emma caught my cuff as she hastily dropped into Rogue's chair. "Come on Remy, stay and play awhile. I've learned some new games I can teach you." She winked at me, and fo' de first time in my life I was offended by a woman hitting on me. I mean, no one accused me of being subtle, but dis was downright audacious.

I sneered dangerously at her. "Sorry Emma, I learned all I wanted to know de first time. Speaking of, I get de feeling I somehow left t'ings unresolved between us. Allow me to remedy dat."

I leaned in towards her face, and she parted her lips just slightly, waiting, expecting, playing her games, but I didn't touch her. I lingered dere only long enough to slip a $100 bill into the front o' her blouse before leanin' back away.

Her blue eyes flickered down only long enough to recognize what was dere before her expression went livid and her face flared red wit' de insult.

I watched her, unsmiling. "Consider de matter closed." I left her dat way as I hurried out de door after Rogue, pausing only long enough to throw some cash at Jean-Paul. I didn' even count it.

I made it outside jus' in time to see her disappearing into a cab. I rushed toward dem but was too late. In defeat, I sought out de valet and asked him to bring de car, knowin' full well dat I had quite an evening still ahead o' me.

How had t'ings gone so wrong?

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	20. Chapter 20

_Tfobmv18 – he does try…but hey, if Rogue made it easy for him, he wouldn't have any fun, right? Silly Cajun…_

_Red Skippy – its not that he wasn't thinking, exactly…its just that his thoughts weren't very good in this case. Lol. And don't worry…he definitely owes our southern belle a few favors!_

_Shandy – Hooray! I am so glad that this is not only your favourite, but your favourite favourite Romy fic!! I may even through myself a party! Really, thank you! That's such an awesome compliment! Yeah…Emma is one of those frustrating people that you can never quite like or dislike. She's interesting but she's just such a hussy! And as to Remy's smoothness…he is well known for his comebacks…read on…_

_Rck. – Hahahaha! I'm so sorry I deprived you of your sleep but I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the story so much that you couldn't put it down! Your enthusiasm humbles me! Here is the update you so desperately wanted, and I hope it lives up to your expectations!_

_Suis. – Wow. I mean, just wow. Thank you so much. I have no idea how to respond to such kind words. I'm elated that you're enjoying my story and I hope it continues to have such merit. I swear I will never abandon this thing. I've come too far! _

_Crack4sure – Yeah, the date did sort of take a nose dive. These two southerners can prove quite volatile, but as often as they ruin things, they can also have an unbelievably good time!_

_Queenofspades19 – Emma does have a nasty habit of screwing things up. Ugh. But she's so good at it. No one else has that brazen quality to be so entirely self-concerned. Thanks for the compliment!_

_Selina – Good to hear from you again my friend! I'm so glad to hear you have a dress similar to Rogue's! I actually looked up outfits for both of them online, as well as the club, which actually exists. Yay! As to the dancing bit…I'm just sort of giving Remy the ultimate smooth points and assuming he could pull it off. That part was kind of based on my 16__th__ birthday, when a guy friend of mine pumped me full of wine coolers and decided to teach me how to swing dance. All I remember were colors spinning and spinning and spinning. Lol. But good point. That was probably a bit stretched. I am really glad that Emma's entrance didn't seem contrived. I live in fear of seeming contrived, so thanks for the confidence boost! And honestly Remy's animosity towards her was only my own irritation thinly veiled. Though how one can get irritated with a situation you create in your head…I guess I'm just strange. Lol. Thanks again for a great review! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_Bologna121 – hahaha! I'm so glad you enjoyed the fedora! I love them and think they're so sexy. Remy is also sexy. So in this case sexy+sexy=OMG. Lol! And again, I swear this fic will not be abandoned, though someday it may sadly have to end. Hopefully I can make it worth it though. Thanks for reading and for your review!_

Part 20: The Art of the Segway

Mah shoes landed in the closet with a loud thud, followed by the bang of the slamming closet door. Ah was in full fume mode, and no inanimate object was safe from the violence. Notebooks were slung mercilessly from the bed to the floor, mah dress got slung to the laundry hamper, even mah toothbrush was used aggressively.

Ah scrubbed the makeup and perfume off, leavin' mah face pink and raw with the effort, and changed into mah pajamas. Ah was busily pacin' an angry hole in the floor when a knock came at the door. Ah wasn't surprised.

"Ah have nothin' to say to ya, ya slimy low down gutter hound!"

"Uh, kid? Did I miss somethin'?"

Dang. Ah hate wastin' a perfectly good insult. "Sorry, ah thought you were someone else. Ah'm not really in the mood to chat, Logan."

Ah heard his feet shuffle behind the door. "Could I please come in? It'll only take a second, I swear."

Sighin', ah finally opened the door. "What?"

"Can I come in?" He repeated the question somewhat unsurely, no doubt in response to the expression on mah face.

"Be mah guest." Ah gestured grandly, tryin' to remember what Moira had told me about directing mah anger only toward what ah was angry at.

"Thanks, kid." Logan took a few steps into the room, scratchin' the back of his neck and shuffling his feet. Nervous. That's never a good sign.

Ah managed to get mah ire under control long enough to be curious. "What's wrong? Did somethin' happen?"

"No, everything's fine. Just had somethin' I wanted to say."

"Could we get to it then please? Ah'm in a bit of a foul temper and you don't deserve the brunt of it."

"Oh…you mean yer not still mad at me?"

"That's not exactly what ah said, but this particular batch of wrath is cookin' foah someone else."

Logan shifted his weight again, his eyes dartin' everywhere around the room that wasn't at me. "I thought maybe it'd be appropriate to thank you…fer yer help with Jubilee the other day."

"If that's seriously it can we be done? Yoah welcome, mah pleasure, good night."

"No, that's not it. That's just the easier part where I know you won't punch me in the face. Yer not exactly makin' this easy on me."

"Life ain't easy."

"Kid-,"

"Sorry, Logan. Hang on a second." Ah raised a finger to stop him, and closed mah eyes, takin' a few deep breaths. Logan was tryin' to talk to me, and until he was finished ah would put the rest of this evening out of mah thoughts. Logan and ah had unfinished business of sorts, and at this moment there was nothin' ah could do about dang ol' Remy. One thing at a time.

Ah opened mah eyes. "Okay, let's try this again. Why don't you sit down Logan?" Forcin' a smile, ah gestured to the vanity bench and took a seat on the bed. Logan watched mah change in posture before cautiously takin' the seat.

"Ah'm sorry ah'm in a rotten mood tonight, but it's been a bit of a rough day. Ah am glad you've come to see me. We haven't really talked in a while."

His eyes were still watchin' apprehensively, but his shoulders relaxed a little. "Yeah, that's kinda what I'm here about."

"Okay, shoot."

"I think I was probably a little harsh with you back in the danger room." Ah raised an eyebrow. "All right, fair enough, I was really harsh with you."

"But ah pushed you first."

"It's not about who did what first. You've always been a good friend to me and I shouldn't have been aggressive with ya. It's not an excuse, but I've never been much fer criticism."

"Ah'll remember that."

"Just cause I don't like it doesn't mean I don't need it sometimes. I got issues just like everyone else. I think it's probably a good thing that I have a friend who'll stand up to me when they think I'm doing somethin' wrong. I hope I haven't done something stupid to screw that up."

"Yoah usin' an awful lot of words to avoid sayin' sorry, Logan."

"Yeah."

Ah took a deep breath, knowin' ah had to be honest some more, and grateful in a twisted way that the evenin' with Gambit already had mah dander up. "Look, Ah'm not mad at ya. Ah knew you were gonna hit the roof when ah said what ah said, but if yoah waitin' foah me to say sorry back then yoah gonna be coolin' yoah heels. You attacked me as a person when it was totally unwarranted. Ah attacked one action of yoahs, and ah'm gonna stand by mah opinion."

"So what yer not gonna forgive me unless I go find this family?"

"The decision is all yoahs, and ah love ya no matter what you decide. Ah just want you to know that if makin' up means apologizin' foah somethin' ah believe is right, then ah just can't do it."

"I'm not here to ask fer yer apology, I'm here to give mine."

"Well ah was pretty much over that already."

"Really?"

"Yeah, just been waitin' on you. You still mad at me?"

He paused, choosing his words. "No. Not at you. I'm still ticked with the situation and I hope we can just agree to disagree."

"Like ah said, its yoah choice, yoahs alone. Ah won't tell anyone, and ah won't interfere. But just to reiterate, if ah found out ah was yoah daughter-,"

"Are you sayin' you think of me as a father?!"

His tone was incredulous. It sort of caught me offguard, so ah hedged with a question. "Well how do you think of me?"

"I don't think of you in any stinkin' pigtails that's fer sure! Do I seem that old to you?"

"No. Yoah 29."

He tried not to smile but one corner of his mouth betrayed him. "All right, so I'm probably a good bit older than you. But I always thought of you and me as equal shares. I dunno, more brother/sister if we're using the family thing."

"That suits me fine. It's easier to bust chops if we're on the same footing."

"Just go a little easy on me somedays. Baby steps."

"Spare the rod, spoil the child." Ah tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. Teasin' Logan makes me too happy.

He shook his head. "Kid, yer a handful some days."

Ah felt mah smile slip away. "Can ah ask you one question though, befoah we close this matter entirely?"

"Crap."

"Please?"

"All right. Go."

Ah hesitated, tryin' to be careful with mah words. "Sometimes…when people get angry…they say things that they don't really mean or believe. But other times anger acts kinda like alcohol, a disinhibitor, making you say things that you really do think but would never have said otherwise..."

"You wanna know if I believe what I said?"

"Yeah…ah guess so."

He nodded, mullin' it over. Dang. Ah hoped this would be a quick response. "Yes and no."

"Oh."

"Wait up and let me talk, if we're gonna do this. You got some baggage, Rogue. And yeah, I think some of it comes from you makin' bad choices, and I wish you would own that so you could get over it. Everybody makes some lousy plays, but you gotta take responsibility before you can learn from it. That said, yer not pathetic, and the grand majority of yer baggage comes from other people and things beyond yer control. I know from experience those things are harder to let go. I also didn't have any right to turn cutthroat on ya. Pain ain't a competition, and I don't know what its like to be you, any more than you can know the opposite. Does that answer yer question?"

Ah smiled. "Yeah. Ah guess ah kinda already knew that, but it was fun to make you say it."

"Well get yer kicks in now, cause after this I've got a long night of stiff drinkin' to see to."

"Please, don't let me stop you. Ah've got a full schedule mahself."

"Oh yeah? What's on the agenda?"

"Moppin' the floor with a lousy behind followed by a swift kick to those same pants."

He grunted. "Good luck with that. Holler if you need a hand."

"Or a claw?"

"Ooh. Someone's in serious trouble."

"You could say that."

"Well…now that we've opened the gate fer constructive criticism…maybe hear the Cajun out before ya make him a eunuch."

He turned to go, and mah voice followed him weakly. "Ah thought you didn't like him."

"I'm not sayin' I do. But let's face it: fer some stupid reason he makes ya happy. Besides, you can still neuter him after ya listen, with my blessing."

With that final Logan-ism he took his leave, and ah sat with the irritable feelin' that he was probably right. Pity, ah was still in the mood to be mad. Unable to reconcile mah temper with mah better judgment, ah took back to pacin' the floor.

What was the man thinkin'? Really? Did he forget about the whole mah skin plus someone else's equals catastrophe? And did we even need to discuss the floozy? Was ah really special like he kept tellin' me, or just another duck in a row? Could ah trust his answer? Every time ah started feelin' optimistic about the man he found some genius way to foul things up.

Mah mind wandered back to Moira, though it made me want to kick mahself. Ah'd like to think ah'm far too sophisticated to gain much from therapy, but after only a week ah found mahself hopelessly in awe of Dr. MacTaggart.

Moira was the perfect match. She was insightful, kind, and inviting. Ah didn't want to like her but ah couldn't help it. The first day in therapy she had taken the unorthodox route of tellin' me all about herself and her experiences with the mutant community. Befoah ah even realized what she was doin' ah felt close to her, kindred. Learnin' about her relationship with the Professor was weird, granted, but learnin' about her marriage and the loss of her son had quickened my stubborn heart to compassion after all. Moreover, it made me want to talk to her, confide in her. She was good.

The following sessions had focused on three major points: one, ah needed to find a way to use mah real name. This was mah least favorite, and ah was plannin' to just ignore it foah now. Moira said that people who use more than one name, particularly those who have suffered "trauma" like me, tend to compartmentalize their experiences. Foah a temporary survival method this is fine, but in the long term it prevents real healing, or so the good doctor seemed to think.

The second tenant was temper control. After reviewing mah file she concluded that often mah temper is a defense mechanism. Dang ah coulda told her that and ah don't have any degrees. It just so happens to be a fantastic defense mechanism. Works wonders foah me. But as per her instructions ah was supposed to gauge if ah was truly angry, how angry ah was, and at whom befoah ah took any decisive action. Somehow ah wasn't in the mood this evenin'.

The third item on mah list of self-improvements was honesty. Ah never really considered mahself dishonest, but apparently Moira thinks ah'm one big pit of misinformation. She says that omission can be a form of untruth: ah omit mah past experiences and mah real feelings. Ah knew we'd have to get around to the touchy feely part at some point. Ah don't make a habit of sitting down and telling people how ah feel about them. Ah figure actions speak louder than words, and they should know. Moira says that the saying is foah mah benefit because ah need to become ok with feelin' vulnerable. Did she even read mah chart?

However, foah the purposes of this evening sayin' how ah really felt seemed only too simple. So with what ah can only imagine as a wicked smile, ah burst out of mah room and headed downstairs to skin mahself a Cajun.

Ah didn't have the courtesy to knock. Ah probably should have.

He was sittin on the bed, missin' his shoes, tie, and hat. His black shirt was untucked and unbuttoned to halfway down his chest, which was immediately distracting, but not the worst part. His elbows rested on his knees, and his head was in his hands until it rose to look at me: he looked every bit as dejected as a kicked puppy. It was so pitiful that a feelin' almost like guilt twisted in mah stomach.

No! Not this time. Ah just couldn't let him wriggle his way out of every misstep…Could I? Of course not! Stick to yoah guns, girl!

Ah resumed mah angry posture and put mah hands on mah hips. "Would you like to explain just what exactly you were thinkin' tonight Remy Lebeau? Befoah ah give you a heapin' helpin' of mah mind?"

He sighed, and pulled himself back fully onto the bed, stretchin' his legs in front of him.

"Chere, Remy really doesn' know what he would say."

"Really? Nothin'? Does this mean yoah oblivious to the fact that you did somethin' wrong?"

"Non…I know. I just don' know how I could have avoided it. I always do somet'ing wrong wit' you."

There it was…that familiar little pang that made me want to go comfort him. Ludicrous. Ah took a deep breath, determined to get through this without backin' down.

"You coulda been original. All this time you've been sellin' me on this 'different and special' bit, and then the second ah give you a chance you start treatin' me like every other girl you've ever been with. You coulda listened to me when ah said ah didn't wanna dance. You could have let me go home when ah asked to, rather than waitin' around foah that hussy to flaunt herself all over our table. You even could've taken me and walked away from her, but you just sat there."

"S' not like I didn' try to make her leave us alone."

"Well then explain the rest. Ah wanna know just exactly what you were thinkin'. The truth. Because ah'm getting plum fed up of playin' the fool in this little arrangement."

"You t'ink yo' de only one who's been eatin' crow? Dammit Rogue sometimes ah t'ink you live and breathe fo' my mistakes!"

"What in tarnation are you talkin' about?"

"I do t'ings right, I get maybe a smile, a gesture, but de second I screw up de sky falls. It's like every second yo' waitin' and watchin' fo' me to slip and do somet'ing you can pounce on. I can' be perfect. I'm gonna screw up sometimes. Can' you ever let anyt'ing go?"

"Remy this evening was not a mistake, it was a total disaster! Ah went out on a limb fo' you. Ah let you make every decision and ah went along with it even though a dang swing club isn't the most comfortable place foah a girl with mah issues, so don't you dare pin this on me! Every time ah'm upset you try to make it sound like its all in mah head, and its not. How many girls have you been with that thought they were somethin' special whether you wanted them to or not? How many of them were dead wrong? Ah can't afford to be wrong about this."

"I can' change what happened in de past, Rogue."

"Ah'm not expectin' you to. Ah just need to know that ah'm not part of yoah past. Ah need to know that we're both over that and ready to move forward."

"I've been tryin' to tell you dat!"

"Well then indulge me and explain it again. What were you thinkin'?"

He sighed. "Do you have any idea how long it took jus' to get to a first date?"

Ah thought about it. "Ah guess a little longer than typical, but we have extenuatin' circumstances."

"Yeah. And a single screw up sets us back about 2 years."

"That's mah fault?"

"Oui."

"Swamp rat you sure are makin' a hell of a case."

"You gon' let me finish?"

"Maybe. Depends on how long you stay on this fantasy that _ah_ somehow ruined this evening."

"I didn' wan' to try anyt'ing new because I was too afraid dat somet'ing would go wrong."

"Ah'm not sure how to wrap mah brain around that one."

"It's easier to take risks when yo' comfortable. I can never be too comfortable wit' you. Like right now, if I don' come up with a good answer, yo' gon' call de whole t'ing off. I couldn' risk havin' leavin' anyt'ing to chance, so I picked somet'ing dat I knew had always been good."

Ah was taken aback. "Ah never said ah was gonna call the whole thing off."

"Weren't you?"

"No! Not unless you said somethin' ridiculous like you invited Emma to see what ah'd do…or that we were only there so you could see your sweet Jean-Paul again."

"WHAT?!"

"Longshots, exactly. Just because ah'm mad at ya doesn't mean ah'm gonna call the whole thing off. Ah said ah would give you a chance and ah'm tryin to do that. Geez."

"Well you got to admit, dat's a new development."

"Ah don't have to admit anythin'. Yoah still on the hook, Lebeau. So go on."

He groaned. "Why you wan' to make me do dis?"

"Because ah have to know the problem befoah it can be fixed and avoided in the future. And because you always dodge questions about yoahself and so help me ah am gonna make you talk this time."

"Fine. I made you dance because it was a chance fo' me to be close to you and show off."

"So just blatant selfishness then? Remy did you not even think about the fact that ah coulda really hurt somebody?"

"AND I wanted you to stop worryin' so much all de time and just enjoy yo'self. I wanted you to see dat we could be a normal couple sometimes. Yeah we got some issues, but dose issues don' have to define who we are and what we do."

"Yes, Remy, Ah'm afraid they do. Ah should think that would be obvious enough by now, or should ah go down the list of things we absolutely cannot do?"

"Name one."

"SWING DANCING."

"We can absolutely do dat…we just gotta be more careful about how."

"Remy you know what ah mean."

"Yes, but you overexaggerate t'ings. Not'ing's forbidden, we just got to be creative."

"You are bein' entirely too optimistic."

"One o' us has to be."

"How about a kiss goodnight? How do ah be creative about that? Remy yoah bein' completely ridiculous."

Remy got up, crossed the room, and kissed the back of mah glove. Ah sighed and pulled away from him. "That's not the same and you know it. If this is gonna work then you need to realize that ah am not normal. If you really need a normal-,"

"Could you jus' stop talkin'?"

That made me so mad ah coulda killed him. Ah opened mah mouth to scream at him, but he swooped me right off the ground so fast that ah couldn't even think of what ah was gonna say.

Ah landed on the bed somewhat less than gently, and he was on top of me, his arms wrapped tightly around me so that ah couldn't move mine. Unfortunately ah was in too much shock to even try.

His lips found me. Found mah shoulders, the collar of mah shirt, the sensitive skin of mah throat through mah hair, and ah had no time to think. Ah could only lay there, suspended in time and space, gasping foah air, a slave to mah senses.

His scent washed all over me, intoxicating, intimate, warm, and distinctly masculine. His weight was a close, heavy, pleasant thing, and ah was amazed at feelin' every tiny detail of his movement against me: the heaving of his chest, the thudding of his heart, the fluttering of his breath, the gentle rolling of his muscles. Like a curtain of silk, his hair fell against mah skin, and the sensation sent chills up mah spine. Fingertips traced over me hungrily, starting at mah thighs and workin' their way up mah side and into mah hair, where they closed into a tight fist. Ah heard a moan and realized with a distant sort of surprise that it was me.

His lips found their way to mah ear, where they whispered with a quiet sort of desperation, "Touch me." The sound of his voice was like wine; potent, intoxicating, irresistible.

Something about these words had a distant ring of something dark and cold, but ah couldn't quite grasp it through the sound of his want.

Tentatively, mah fingers found their way to his shoulders, and the heat of his skin burning through the thin fabric set me aflame. Mah fingers traced less than gentle patterns down his back, and his breath came in quick pants. Each time he responded ah became less and less rational. Ah wrapped mah arms around him and pulled him closer to me, as though there were such a way. Without even thinkin' about it, mah legs wound their way around his, and it was his turn to moan.

With us feverishly exploring each other through the frustrating barrier of our clothes, becoming more and more impassioned, it should have come as no surprise when his hips locked with mine. In some ways, it felt perfectly natural, but in another more immediate way it jarred me back into reality. It wasn't just the powers, though that's enough reason foah anybody. Even without them, ah wasn't ready foah this.

"Stop."

He froze, our bodies still together, and brought his eyes to meet mine. They were glowing, and it made me shiver.

"Ah…ah can't." But dear sweet Lord ah wanted to. His face still burned down into mine, and suddenly ah felt incredibly stupid.

Its hard to explain why ah felt stupid. Remy's older than me. There's no part of him that isn't fully a man. But at this moment, there was still so much about me that ah didn't understand that ah was stunted. Ah was as unsure of mahself as a toddler tryin' to skip rope, and ah was too scared to go any further. Yet here ah was with this god among lovers who could surely now see that he had gotten himself involved with a completely ridiculous airhead who had led him on.

Mah hands came up and covered mah face. Ah couldn't stand to have him lookin' at me.

"Hey…" he started gently.

"Ah'm sorry ah'm sorry ah'm sorry."

"Hey…," ah felt him lift from on top of me and begin tuggin' at mah wrists. "Stop dat. Come back."

Ah didn't want to come out, but deep down ah knew that the ostrich maneuver was completely ridiculous and probably wasn't helpin' mah cause. Ah let him pull mah hands away, but ah wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Rogue, what are you sorry about?"

"Ah don't know."

He smiled at me. "Den why are you sorry?"

"Ah…ah don't want to disappoint you."

"Oh chere!" He pulled me into an embrace. "If dat's what you call disappointing, den disappoint me as often as you like."

"But ah…stopped you."

"Yes. Leave it to me to get carried away while tryin' to make a point. Look at me."

Begrudgingly, ah managed to look into his face foah a brief moment. "I like bein' with you, petit. I don' really care what we're doin'. But you know what I don' like?"

"What?"

"When yo' unhappy. I wan' you to break out of dat shell and have a good time, but I don' wan' you to ever do anyt'ing you really don' wan' to just because you t'ink it will make me happy. Bien?"

Ah managed to smile a little bit and nod. He pulled me back against his chest and started runnin' his fingers gently through mah hair. "I didn' bother you, did I?"

"No. Except that you distracted me from killin' you."

"A strong sense of self-preservation is a t'ief's first defense."

"So what point were you tryin' to make?"

"Dat yo' normal, o' course. Keep up."

"How does this prove anything?"

"You feel, t'ink…and wan' just like anybody else. And yo' a smart girl. Dere's not'ing dat you can' have."

"One thing…"

"Admittedly I need to t'ink on dat one a little more, but I'm not t'rowin' in de towel jus' yet. Besides, we don' even need to worry about dat until yo' ready. And..I'm kinda glad yo' not ready jus' yet."

"What? Why?"

"S' hard to explain. I guess because…yo' so different from everyone else. I like it dat s' a special t'ing to you. Because dat way if it does happen, I'll know dat it means somet'ing…dat you really wan' me."

"You didn't feel that way befoah?"

"Maybe once or twice. Mostly I jus' felt like de means to an end. And dat's ok, dere's merit in dat too, but I t'ink I've finally gotten to a point where I wan' somet'ing different."

"Which is?"

"You. Obviously. Pay attention."

Ah smiled.

"So does dis mean I'm forgiven?"

"No."

"Merde."

"Ah have conditions."

"Encore, merde."

"You wanna get out of the doghouse or not?"

He sighed. "Let's hear it, chere."

"One: this does not count as our first date. We are goin' on another first dat of mah choosin'."

"D'accord. I await wit' baited breath."

"Two: yoah turn is officially over."

"My turn at what?"

"Questions. It's mah turn to ask you questions."

"Oh come on chere! T'ings were just gettin' good!"

"Take it or leave it."

"Chere…dere are some questions…dat I might not be able to answer."

"Well then we can at least get started."

He looked down at me, and ah didn' understand his expression. It seemed like a simple enough request, but he looked genuinely hesitant. Ah stuck mah chin out stubbornly.

"D'accord."

"Good. Back in business then."

"Can I at least have a respite fo' dis evenin? My mind is a little…out of sorts…"

"Why's that?"

"Because I was born male."

"Oh…" Ah tried not to blush, but found it impossible. "In that case, ah think ah'll take mah leave foah the evenin'. It's getting late."

"Actually 's getting early, but dat's no reason fo' you to go…"

Ah smiled at him. "Ah could use a little time to put mah thoughts back together." Ah stood up, and he stood with me.

"Den dere's just one more matter to resolve."

"Oh?"

"De goodnight kiss."

"Remy ah don't think ah can handle-,"

"Deep breaths, petit. Remy is bein' a gentleman."

He took mah hand again, but kept his eyes locked with mine as he bent over to kiss mah palm. He held me there just long enough that ah started to wonder if he was gonna sweep me off mah feet again befoah he released me.

"Goodnight, mah chere."

Ah felt mah face redden one last time, and an uncontrollable, guilty grin passed over mah face.

"Goodnight, Remy." Ah hurried to make mah exit befoah ah could embarrass mahself further, and ran straight into the doorjamb on the way out. Ah didn't turn around, just let the sound of his bellowin' laughter chase me down the hall.

15


	21. Chapter 21

_**Review Replies:**_

_Shandy – Wow! Thanks for the long review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm also glad you're a fan of the Logan/Rogue friendship. I gotta say I'm a sucker for it too (if you couldn't tell by his constant cameos). As far as the romance sequence, I'm glad it made sense to you. I worried about that a little, so its nice to have the reassurance. But I think there is a definite time in most romantic relationships where you want the physical proximity and affection but you're not quite ready for the whole deal. (Sorry I couldn't think of a non-nerdy way to put it..lol) Also thank you for the petit/petite comment. I have a little bit a French background, but I was unsure because sometimes in the comic Remy will refer to a girl as petit, and I thought maybe it was the Cajun variance rather than the proper French. But maybe it's a child/adult differentiation. Foreign languages…tricky. But thank you and I'll try to get it right in the future. _

_Rck. – Holy moly with the praises! Lol! I blushed so bad when I read your review! I'm glad I could write a story that you loved so much, what a compliment! I gotta say I think one of the things I love most about Romy is the way they seem to love each other because of the flaws, rather than in spite of. Like Scott and Jean tend to split up when there's a problem, where as Rogue takes all of Remy's mouth in stride and he puts up with her temper like a champ. Good times! I'm looking forward to more of them!_

_Queenofspades19 – Thanks so much for your review! It's always really wonderful to get feedback from readers. I hope you enjoy this latest installment!_

_Red Skippy – I'm sorry it has taken me so long to come up with the next chapter, but I hope that this one will meet with your standards! I'm also really glad you got a laugh out of the last chapter. It's always hard to tell whether something is really funny or just seems that way in your head. Lol! I'm also glad you're digging the dialogue. It can be really hard to make it sound natural, so I appreciate the feedback!_

_Tfobmv18 – Remy always gets out of trouble. I don't know who I get more frustrated with, him always getting away with things, or Rogue for overreacting all the time. But at the same time, that frustrating dynamic makes them such an entertaining and intriguing couple. I have to keep reminding myself that it's the first time either of them has something real, and they have to take the time to grow into it. But I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the story and I hope you enjoy this latest installment!_

_Crack4sure – I'm so glad you liked the romance scene! They're both such passionate people, I guess sometimes it's hard for them to make up their minds. Or do things in order. Usually a couple makes up first and then can't keep their hands off each other, but hey, convention is overrated. Lol. As to Logan and Rogue, I definitely appreciate the father/daughter thing, but I have something a little different in mind for Logan. Also, I grew up with the comics and 90's cartoons, where Rogue was more of an adult than a teenager, so I first knew them as a more brother/sister thing. I guess I've just always been attached to that idea. But I also know that the movies and Evolution had her being younger and it did seem more father/daughter. I hope that it won't take away too much from the story for you, and thank you for the comment!_

_Suis.. Your review cracked me up. "own." What a fabulous opening. I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I don't know why real men can't be like that. Probably because they don't read enough dang fanfiction. Lol. Thanks for the review!_

_Moonfan2012 – hi! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks so much for leaving a review and I'm sorry it's taken me forever to post a new chapter. College is apparently just a device created for ruining my life. Lol. I hope you'll enjoy the update!_

_Makbee – Thank you so much for your review and the compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I hope the new chapter will live up to your expectations! I promise I will try to be more punctual in the future, and thanks so much for reading!_

_SabucS951 – Thank you thank you for the review and compliment, and also for pointing out the Kitty/Rogue room thing. I didn't realize I had been confusing on that point til your comment. So, anyhow, Kitty is no longer sharing a room with Rogue. She only moved in with Rogue while she was recovering from her bout with Sinister. I should have been more specific, and thank you for pointing it out to me! And as to the sentinels, all in good time, all in good time. I'm trying to get us there as we speak. Hope you enjoy the new chapter!__oly_

Part 21: Back and Forth

After all dis time…an' I still manage to impress myself. De femme came chargin' in after blood, and left all a-twitter. Dat couldn' have gone better if I'd planned it.

Except fo' de question bit. Part o' me knew dat my worries were wasted. What could de girl possibly ask dat would lead to my secrets? She'd have to be pretty specific, and even den I had every intention o' dodgin'. I could very easily slake her curiosity wit' a lifetime o' Remy trivia, not'ing o' substance.

And yet ol' Gambit lay awake wit' uneasy t'oughts. I had been fightin' an' fightin' to get dis girl to trust me, so wasn' it ironic dat I should be t'inking o' ways to lie? To keep secrets? De last t'ing dat girl needed was annudah disappointment.

But what choice did I have? Ultimately I'm a selfish creature. I couldn' consider leavin' Rogue, or worse: havin' her leave me. It would hurt, and I wouldn' know where to go or what to do. Dis was de first time in a long time dat I felt like I really had a shot at happiness. I wasn' gon' give dat up on some archaic idea of nobility.

I wouldn' tell her. She would jus' have to accept dat dere are some t'ings about me dat are in de past where dey belong. C'est finit.

Still, if dere was a deep side to Remy Lebeau, it would have one last jab at my flawless justifications: if I didn' tell her, I would never know if she could accept me, really accept me fo' everyt'ing I truly am, have been, and will be. I would never really know if she was de one. I would always have a dark shadow in my mind, whisperin, "She'd leave if she knew, Remy ol' boy. You know she'd leave if she knew." And dat shadow would be right. If I couldn' forgive me, how could she?

De deep side o' Remy knows dat he's no good. If he were he'd admit dat de girl is too good fo' him and leave her alone.

But again, dat's only _if_ dere was a deep side to Remy Lebeau, which dere's not. At dat moment her scent was still driftin' across my sheets, and de remembered feel o' her left my hands burning. It was as close as we had ever been, and no dark t'ought was gon' steal dis moment and ruin my reveling. Damn, we didn' even do anyt'ing and dis was already better dan mardi gras! My heart was pounding in my chest, blood was rushing in my ears: dere was a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

It was exhilarating.

De next mornin' however was not so exhilarating. At five thirty in de morning, I was dreaming o' water. I was in a lake, swimming wit' smooth, strong strokes, and I felt light and happy, letting my t'oughts drift to' and fro' like waves on de surface. Suddenly I realized I didn' know where de shore was. I floated on my back to sort out de confusion when I noticed de sky was dark, wit' a storm approaching any second. I started to get a little apprehensive and decided to retrace my steps. Den I remembered: I swam out o' de sewers…I'd had to escape. I didn' know where I was but I couldn' turn back. I heard a little girl's voice callin' to me.

Suddenly everyt'ing was familiar. I'd had dis dream before. Seems like a million times. I knew who it would be when I turned toward de voice, and I knew dat I would fight wit' everyt'ing I had to try and reach her. I also knew dat I would fail. De lightning would strike at de last second, and Sarah would scream once befo' she was lost to me. Still, it was a fuzzy, useless kind o' knowing, like watchin' a train wreck. Dere was not'ing I could do to change de course.

But when I turned, it wasn' de girl I expected: It was my Rogue, swimming nearby. As soon as her eyes caught mine her face broke into a relieved smile. Suddenly I felt like everyt'ing was gon' be ok. She would swim over and take us away to safety, and we could be alone together. All de tension left me as I grinned and started to move toward her.

But den de Blackbird was hovering above us in de air. Scott's voice rang out, "All X-men to the War Room immediately."

Rogue's eyes looked up to de jet, and den back at me regretfully, de corner o' her mouth turned down into a little frown. Den she turned away to go follow orders, leavin' me dere.

"Rogue, wait!" She didn't turn. "Rogue!" She hesitated, but den Scott's voice called again: "All X-men to the War Room. IMMEDIATELY." She lifted up out o' de water wit'out a backward glance and started flyin' to her commander.

I shot up out of my bed wit' a start, callin' fo' her. "ROGUE!"

Dreams are stupid t'ings. Scott's voice again on de intercom. "All X-men, every single one: report to the War Room immediately on pain of kitchen duty."

I groaned. I'd only just gotten to sleep three hours ago. And dat one-eyed jerk had just ruined a dream dat fo' once was goin' well. I went to trudge groggily toward de stupid War Room when I realized I was still wearing my clothes from last night. So I quickly did somet'ing comical: I changed into my pajamas to go out. Life's little jokes.

Usually I'm a stairs kind o' guy, but dis time I made an exception an' took de elevator. I was surprised when de doors opened to find Logan standin' inside. He looked me up and down a few times, and I kept my face blank: not a hard feat at 5:30am.

"You seem to still be in one piece."

I shrugged and smiled, not sure what he meant, as I stepped inside and hit de button for de sub-basement. De elevator had just started to move when Logan hit de emergency stop. I crossed my arms across my chest and raised an eyebrow, waitin' to hear what he had on his mind.

"I'm glad we got this chance to talk, Gumbo. There's something I've been meaning to say fer a while now. You mind?"

"I always got an ear fo' a man wit' claws."

"Good."

Suddenly his face was an inch from mine. Why are de little guys always so fast? Now I'm a head taller dan Logan, but it doesn' take away from de impact. Logan's all right most o' de time, but when he looks at you too hard, you can see dat monster swimmin' underneath dat unforgiving blue. He's intense.

"Did you really think you could just slip around with my girl without me sniffin' it out?"

I didn' flinch. I know better dan dat. You handle Logan just de same as any uddah wild animal: don't show fear. "I'm sure I don' know what you mean. After all, I was under de impression dat you were still on de market."

"Don't lie to me, bub."

"You wan' me to say 'I knew you had a girlfriend all along?'"

He moved forward, and much to my chagrin I have to admit I leaned back a little. Don' tell anybody. He inhaled deeply. "You smell like Rogue. That, and you reek of cheap cologne, but mostly this discussion is about the Rogue part.

I made a show o' smellin' my shirt. "Huh. Well I'll be. Must've gotten our laundry mixed up."

Claws came up to my throat, brushin' uncomfortably across my skin. "You may get around most people with that mouth of yers, Cajun, but I'm not in a playful mood this mornin'."

"Apparently not a perceptive mood either, _mon ami_, so let me lay it out plain fo' you: if I had a lady, I wouldn' kiss an' tell. It'd be up to her how much she wants people to know about her private affairs, and Gambit isn't gonna go around impunin' her honor. If dat certain lady chose not to talk to you about it, den yo' gon' have sore luck forcin' me to. So if I were you, _homme_, I'd put dose away and talk to her if yo' so curious, _hahn_?"

I put one finger petulantly against one o' his claws, and it turned pink. We glowered at one annudah fo' a few seconds, and den he pulled his claws away. I drew de charge back, and we stood at a kind o' awkward stalemate fo' a few seconds.

Fin'ly, he spoke. "I'd really like to hate you, Gambit."

"I know."

We waited some more. I decided it was my turn to break de ice. "So why don' you?"

"Beats the hell outta me. I shoulda turned you into a shish kabob the first time I saw you slinkin' around her."

"Well why didn' you den? An' I don' slink."

"Cause it's her choice. I'm not her stinkin' dad, I'm her friend."

"So dat's what dis is? You t'ink I don' know dat you'll beat me black and blue if I do wrong by her?"

"No that's not it. Yer not stupid enough to miss that. It's not about what I'll do to you, it's what you'll do to her."

"What is it you t'ink I'm planning?"

"I need to know you really understand that she's different. You may think you know women but you don't know anything about this one."

"Well rest at ease, I've noticed."

"I don't mean the game. Yer all about games Remy. You love a challenge." His voice became more heated as he spoke, and he started to pace de small space back and forth, a look o' consternation on his gruff face. He was beginning to lose my understanding, so I waited fo' him to say what he needed to say.

"You love to win. And winning a girl like Rogue must beat the hell outta poker. The odds are impossible, and the stakes are high: that's just the situation that gets yer blood boilin', isn't it? But what about after that? You've broken a heart or two in yer day, no secret there. And what became of those girls? They shed a few tears, maybe shredded a picture, and then they moved on."

Normally dis kind o' talk launches me into my "mind yo' own business" speech, but dere was no judgment in Logan's voice, no shame-on-you-Remy undertone, not even de usual sympathy toward de poor damsels. In fact his tone was pleading: o' course if you don' know Logan you wouldn' have known, but fo' Logan dis was a big step. I didn' know what to make o' his words paired wit' his manner, so I continued to hold my tongue.

His hands began clenching and unclenching as he spoke, as though his words took great effort and concentration. "This is the difference in Rogue that's important: this is the one I need you to understand so I can sleep at night. Rogue is a strong girl, stronger than most. She's good at keeping people out, and it's kept her alive and in one piece. But once you win, Lebeau…once she lets you in, lets you close…she's completely defenseless. She's been chewed up and spat out so many times that she's weak inside. I don't think she can take it again. Every single person she's ever been close to has left her, betrayed her, thrown her away, treated her like garbage. In response each time she's put up a new and stronger wall. So if you win yer little game and get past those walls, you better be sure of what you want, because if you do to her what you've done to all the other girls it won't be as simple as a box of tissues and a tub of ice cream: it will destroy her."

De words were so simple. So very simple. But from dis man, dey were so powerful dat it seemed dey took physical form. It felt like his voice reached out and grabbed my stomach in an ice cold grip, twisting till it was painful.

He stopped pacing and stood up a little straighter, his eyes boring into mine with crushing weight. "And yes, I will beat you till you can't remember your own name, but it won't help. I don't care about many people. I care about her, and I wouldn't be able to stand seeing her that way. That would kill me. So please, think long and hard before you throw your next card on the table. She may be all starry eyed fer you, but she is, has been, and will always be my girl."

He gave me a long look, and den fin'ly released de elevator. We rode in silence fo' a few moments. I didn' know what to say to de man. I sat, pouring over his words, wondering what I could give dat would satisfy him, when slowly pictures began drifting over my mind's eye.

I saw Rogue standing on de rooftop in New Orleans, her fists clenching and her jaw set. Yes, I saw her anger, but what I didn't pay attention to was her restraint. I began to speculate about the storm dat must have been raging underneath her shaking surface when she believed I had left because o' her touch. I wondered how and why I had never given it much t'ought before.

De image changed, and I saw her in her bedroom; watched her face as she tried to send me away, how her defeated body slid between her sheets. I heard her words echo. _"You want me. Ah want you. Too dang bad. There is no point wantin' and wishin' and hopin'. It is what it is. Now you have the satisfaction o' knowin' that Ah can't resist you any more than any other girl. Move on and find someone else to want, cause that's as far as it goes here. And because, while we're bein' honest, yoah killin' me."_

And finally, what at de time had seemed so adorable and trivial found a new weight. Our moment last night: her body, one moment wrapped around mine, moving wit' me, de next rigid as stone as she hid behind her hands in shame at her…anxiety?....naiveté?...no…fear. Befo' dis moment I had given no real consideration to how much courage it took her to even let me try to be close to her. Of course it had occurred to me dat she had been hurt in de past and had to overcome dat, but in my mind so had everyone. It was like Logan said, I didn' realize dat she was different. She'd been hurt differently dan most people, in a way most people couldn' fully understand. All de time I had been t'inkin' o' her, I hadn' t'ought o' her dis way.

I destroy everyt'ing I touch. Its one unlikely trait we seem to share. If it wasn' my powers causin' explosions, it was my choices, my actions, my circumstances. I even used to wonder if I was cursed somehow.

All o' de sudden we started to seem hopelessly incompatible. Each new t'ought became a stone, and dose stones were slowly stacking up to form a wall between us dat I couldn' hope to breach, and Logan's words were de mortar. Where nightmares and conscience had failed, Logan managed to pull de rug from under me.

How could I not have t'ought o' dese t'ings? Or if I did not recognize deir significance? Was I dat stupid? Or jus' dat selfish?

And den it occurred to me: I didn' t'ink o' dese t'ings because I had never learned how. I knew how to appreciate a person, enjoy dem (particularly de lady variety), even know dem well, but it had never occurred to me to try and really _understand_ annudah person. No one had ever quite been important enough fo' me to wan' to.

First time fo' everyt'ing.

When I was at last able to speak, even I was surprised at de sound o' my voice. It was…small. Dat's de only word I can t'ink of to describe it. Like I couldn' get enough air to support de sound.

"Logan…" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I…I can' be…wit'out her."

It occurred to me dat dis t'ought needed more explanation dan what I managed to say, but I couldn' t'ink o' a follow up. Logan just kept his eyes on me skeptically, which only made me more flustered wit' each passing second.

At long last, Logan responded. "Did you just friggen stutter?" he snorted and den turned his eyes away dismissively. Translated, dis meant he was relatively ok wit' me fo' now, pending further observation. Probation, if you will. (A subject I know a little too much about.)

I, on de uddah hand, was still unsettled: actually dat's an understatement. It felt like dere was a tight coil twisting from de back o' my throat all de way down to de pit o' my stomach. My t'oughts went back and forth from worry to shame to guilt to joy to hope and back again. May I also remind de audience dat it was 5:53am.

De elevator lurched to a halt, and we exited silently and headed fo' de War Room. When I stepped inside, de room was abuzz wit' activity. Hank was busily clackin' away on de computer wit' Scott over his shoulder tryin' to make sense o' his increasingly exasperated speech. Jean was trying to bring up de presentation software wit' de Professor's help, while Bobby and Jubilee sat lackluster at de conference table, bickerin' back and forth about somet'ing or uddah. As soon as she spotted Logan, Jubilee was off her chair wit' an enthusiastic smile.

"Wolvie! Can you believe this wake up call? What crap!" Ever since Logan exploded, he and Jubes had been attached at de hip or somet'ing. Some girls are won wit' flowers and candy, uddah girls need a viscous mass befo' dey soften up. To each deir own.

Psylocke and Warren were off at deir day jobs, while Bishop was on de West Coast "investigating" somet'ing. He does dat. Colossus was on a reconnaissance trip back home to Moscow, to assess the attacks dere. Dese people always stay so busy.

And dere she was. Rogue sat on de uddah side o' de table, her hair swept up messily and her face washed and glowing, quietly sipping a cup o' coffee. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled warmly wit' a hint o' heat in her cheeks. Somet'ing about dat girl's beautiful blush makes me wan' to sigh. I don' know what it is.

Simple as dat, all my inner turmoil quieted. It startled me how quickly de change came. I almost began speculation on what and why and all dat, but den I remembered who I am. I am not de type to over-analyze or look a gift horse in de mouth. T'ings felt right wit' Rogue…I felt right wit' Rogue, and dat's all I needed to know. Frankly, it was nice enough jus' knowing dat.

I returned her smile wit' a discreet wink befo' takin' de seat next to her. Logan cut his eyes at me, but I pretended not to notice. I'm good at dat.

Scott switched on de intercom once more. "All X-men, meaning YOU Storm, to the-,"

"You needn't shout over that abhorrent machine, Scott. I am present." Ororo was fully dressed and in full makeup as she walked through the doorway.

"Maybe next time you'll make it downstairs in less than half an hour." Scott retorted.

"And perhaps you will give more than 30 seconds' notice." Ororo replied curtly, unruffled as she gracefully took a seat and crossed her legs.

Scott may have rolled his eyes, but really who knows? De professor spoke den, and as always he gets de trump card.

"X-men, Henry has been working diligently on decoding the processor unit we managed to collect from the 'Sentinels', and may have uncovered some important information. Henry, please take the floor."

Hank nodded, pleased as always to have the professor's confidence, and began to speak. "The systems on this unit are unlike anything I have ever seen. While I am continuing my study in hopes of decoding more information, I have to say that even when I worked as a consultant to the Pentagon I was less challenged. You see, software and coding is essentially designed according to the computer program. Within just one programming lineage there can be thousands of-,"

"No offense, furball, but I didn't come here fer a lesson in computer science. What'd you find out?"

"Indeed, Logan. Forgive me for getting carried away, but in the words of the great Aristotle, 'pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work'. What I mean to say is that the programming code…or language, if you prefer, of the computer is becoming more clear, but I am not entirely fluent at this time. However, I think I have been able to identify some basic coding akin to what you all would know more simply as a GPS system."

"Seriously? That's it? You found out it has GPS? Geez so does Scott's Camaro!" Bobby spat out grumpily. He's jus' not a morning person, per se.

"If you all will indulge me for just a few moments I will explain myself in full. If you insist on these continual interruptions I'm afraid this will take the rest of the day."

"It probably will anyway, knowing Hank." Jubilee whispered to Logan. He seemed to ignore her, but de corner o' his mouth twitched.

Hank sighed, used to de abuse, befo' he continued. "Naturally we had expected these machines to have some kind of guiding systems. In fact it was among my primary objectives to locate them, and I am pleased with my progress. The reason for which was not simply idle curiosity, but rather the hope of deciphering their terminal location: where they took the hostages." He shot a look at Bobby dat seemed to say 'duh'. Bobby sulked.

"Are you sayin' you know where they took everybody?" Rogue's voice was excited and hopeful.

"Not entirely, my dear. Like I said, I am not fully fluent in the language. I have located one destination, but whether it is the point of origin, final destination, or merely a red herring put into the system as a joke or to mislead, I cannot say with any measure of certainty."

"You really think these people would make jokes? About stealing mutants with their scary-ass robots? That's just sick!" Jubilee was getting over-excited already. Where she finds the energy I jus' don' know.

"As I said, I don't know, but it's the only useful information I've been able to access."

"Well what's the destination?" Jean chimed in, helpfully trying to get the meeting back on track.

"That's what's so baffling. The coordinates correspond to the land mass in Antarctica."

Silence descended on de room like a wool blanket. We all sat dere, looking at one annuddah stupidly, hoping dat we had somehow misheard and sense would be made any moment.

Finally, as a last ditch effort, Storm simply repeated, "Antarctica?"

"Like I said, I have no idea what the purpose of such a destination could entail. It seems that solving the puzzle has only provided me with a mystery. However, just because it might seem implausible does not mean that the information has no merit. As Nietzsche once said, 'the irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it.'" Apparently, Hank gets all quote-y when he's stressed.

"Professor, what can we possibly do with this information?" Scott's military logic kicked in, had trouble wrapping itself around de situation, and thus deferred to de powers-dat-be.

"That is precisely why this meeting has been called, Scott: to answer that question."

"Well we can't jus' skip on down to de icelands," I threw in. Shoulda kept my mouth shut.

"Not immediately, Remy. Such a journey would require major preparations," the professor threw out non-chalantly.

"Professor, you can't really be suggesting-,"

"Ororo, I'm afraid we have precious few options. Each day that passes without action decreases the likelihood that we will ever discover the origin of these attacks, or recover the victims. We have a lead, and I cannot in good conscience disregard it until we have exhausted the possibility."

"Um, this might be a stupid question, but how exactly would we even get there? It's not like there's a lot of buses headed that way." Bobby seemed incredulous.

"Obviously we would need to make some modifications to the Blackbird, develop some necessary equipment, and run through some pertinent training."

"Professor shouldn't we give this some more thought? I mean, we're talking about some serious resources that we could be throwing on a wild goose chase: resources that we may actually need later. I agree that we can't afford to waste a whole lot of time, but I'm afraid that all these preparations may amount to just that."

"It has long been a probability in my mind, Jean, that this caliber of terrorism is beyond our capability to address. That is why you, Hank, and I will be departing this afternoon to present our findings to our correspondents at UN headquarters in the city. If I can persuade the governments to take action, then we won't have to. But we have to be ready for the possibility of making the effort ourselves."

We all wanted to jump on the ol' X-men bandwagon, but it's a tricky t'ing to get fired up about a trip to…Antarctica. Everyone just sat around lookin' kinda confused, or like somet'ing smelled funny.

"What are the orders then?" Scott finally asked, but his voice told sounded less sure dan normal.

"Scott, you will begin drafting modifications for the Blackbird. If you need help, Forge is on Muir Island: you can contact him there. As soon as we return, Henry, you will resume your efforts to decipher the processor. Everyone else will begin training in the danger room under new series 31.5.6, with the exceptions of Ororo and Bobby. You two will be working closely, as you both have a natural advantage to this particular climate. I would rather you developed those advantages rather than rehearsed your combat skills."

Bobby beamed…Ororo scowled.

De Professor paused. Scott jumped in eagerly. "All right people, let's get to work."

"Wait, Scott. There is one more topic I'd like to discuss before we conclude." Xavier scanned de table befo' letting his eyes rest heavily on me. Everyone else followed his gaze, seeming as bewildered as I was.

Why is it dat whenever you t'ink yo' in trouble you become twelve all over again? What did I do wrong lately? How could he know? Was dis about smoking in my room? Or leaving de toilet seat up? I'd been on my best behavior! Honest!

Den it hit me…Rogue. Logan must have talked to him about me an' Rogue. What was de big deal? Can't dese X-men have a private life too? Unless de Professor had got inside my head…mon dieu what was he getting ready to do?

I glared at Logan, but he only raised an eyebrow. De impudence!

"It has become glaringly apparent to me that Gambit doesn't appear to be blending with our little group." His face remained utterly stern. I resisted de urge to fidget. Rogue's eyes stayed on de Professor, waiting to see what he would say, but she shifted closer to me, almost protectively.

"I also have extreme doubts about the capacity of that much abused jacket to withstand an arctic freeze." His eyes started to twinkle. Now I was nervous and confused.

De Professor rolled away and unlocked a compartment in de wall, where he extracted a black mass dat I didn' recognize. Den he rolled back to de table and unfurled it.

It was an X-men uniform. It was an X-men uniform made fo' me.

I reached out gingerly, too surprised to know what to t'ink. My fingers caressed de black leather, and found holders on de hips and thighs jus' perfect fo' playing cards. De fingers on de gloves were cut off, allowing me free use o' my hands.

I stood and picked it up, still dazed. I noticed a clasp on de back between de shoulder: fo' my staff. It smelled new and expensive, and de silver "X" on de chest made it look like somet'ing dat belonged to a superhero.

As I continued to stare dumbfounded, de Professor spoke again. "Remy, your help was invaluable in our rescue of Kurt Wagner, essential to the safe escape of the team from Mr. Sinister, and instrumental in our success against the Sentinels in New York. Your skill set has proven priceless to the team dynamic, but more importantly you have proven yourself trustworthy as a team member. The coming days I'm afraid may prove increasingly difficult as our challenges threaten to exceed our abilities, and as our ideas seem less and less realistic to a hostile public. Bluntly, we will need all the help we can get. You have proven yourself to us time and again; you have satisfied every request we could make of you. Because of your service, I am officially offering you a permanent place on the X-men team."

I froze. De praise from de Professor alone had me flabbergasted, but dis….dis was….commitment. I had idly suspected dat it might some day come to dis: join de team or leave. It made sense. You don' let someone hang around yo' secret lair wit'out asking somet'ing in return.

Dis would mean I wouldn' be jus' staying here, I'd be living here. I'd have to be accountable. I'd have to play by de rules. He might even make me teach. I hadn' lived anywhere fo' years, and now I was gon' pick New York State?

But t'ings were different here. Fo' de first time in my life I was helping a group o' people do somet'ing dat was right. I was playing on de side o' de angels. Maybe, jus' maybe, dis could be de chance I'd always dreamed of to redeem myself; to prove dat I could be good, like everyone else.

All dese eyes on me…put on de spot. Maybe he'd give me time to t'ink it over befo' he'd make me leave. It couldn' hurt to ask.

"How long do I have to t'ink? Befo' I need to…leave?"

De Professor smiled a patient little smile. "Remy this is hardly an ultimatum. This building remains a safe haven for any mutant who needs one. Logan has consistently refused to join the team, and yet he is welcome to come, go, and aid us as he sees fit. Whether or not you decide to join the team, I hope that you would consider us your friends. You may have all the time you need to make a decision. I understand that there is much to consider."

"You mean…you trust me enough…to let me stay anyway?" My tongue jus' couldn' keep up wit' my t'oughts dis morning.

"You've given us no reason not to trust you. However, since we are cooperating with official organizations at the moment, I must require you to wear the uniform in the field regardless. I think you are a man who can appreciate a degree of professionalism."

Dat professor…

I looked around de table. Scott had his business face on, revealing not'ing. Jean's eyes were darting between me, Scott, and de Professor. Hank was gently drumming his fingers on the table, seeming almost excited. Bobby was spinning his chair back and forth. Jubilee put her open palms out in front o' her, a brazen display o' her impatience fo' my answer. Logan had his arms crossed and was looking at de floor disinterestedly. He didn' fool me. De Professor's face was cool and accepting. No pressure from him. Ororo had her hands clasped to her chest and a smile on her face.

Finally, Rogue. Would she want me to be here permanently? Would dis complicate t'ings? She was chewing her bottom lip and twisting her fingers, which could be a sign o' excitement or nervousness. But underneath she was smiling a special smile dat I hadn't seen befo'.

She was proud o' me!

"I'll do it." I said, wit' my eyes still on her.

"What's that, Remy?" I met de professor's gaze wit' a smile.

"I'll do it. I'll join de team. But I have no idea how to get dis t'ing on. I may need a little help from my new teammates." I winked at de ladies. Gotta start t'ings off on de right foot.

Deir half-hearted indignation only lasted half a second befo' I was surrounded by claps on de back and handshakes and welcome. Even though Scott's alpha syndrome leaked a little, I was surprised dat no one seemed too hesitant. It was a nice feeling, to be welcomed rather dan jus' accepted.

Den Hank came barreling over, shaking my hand vigorously wit' both his furry paws. His words came out a mile a minute. "Remy my boy I just couldn't be more elated that you've decided to join us at last! I knew you'd come around! And now that you're an official team member, I can ask you to join me in deciphering this processor! I've already cleared the idea with Charles, and he thinks your background in hacking security systems and general knowledge of coding would be of great use to the effort! I can't tell you how excited I am to have someone who shares my enthusiasm for technology! As Benjamin Franklin said, 'Hide not your talents, for use they were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?' And as soon as-,"

"Whoa dere, Beast! I will help wit' de processor, Scout's honor, if only I can have a shower and a smoke first. Besides, I don' know what yo' so excited about. I'm de one who gets to work wit' de master." I gave him a grandiose bow, and he laughed heartily.

"Of course, of course my friend! I get ahead of myself from time to time! But welcome to the team!"

After a few more congratulations from my FELLOW X-MEN (ha!), we all started filtering out; some back to bed, some to showers, some to breakfast, some to work. When I finally managed to make it to the hallway, Rogue was dere waiting. I was in such a good mood, I beamed at her.

She smiled back coyly. "Welcome aboard, swamp rat."

"Merci, ma chere."

"Ah hope you'll find some time away from Hank to join me in the danger room today."

"Yo' wish is my command."

She took a few slow steps toward me. "Well ya know now dat yoah a team player, Ah have to stop goin' easy on ya."

I leaned against de wall non-chalantly. "Dat so?"

"Mmhmm. Ah shoah hope you like to play hard."

"Au contraire, fille, Gambit likes to play slow…" I looked her over meaningfully.

She grinned. "Ah suppose that'll have to do. And besides, somebody's gotta help you get into that uniform." She turned and sauntered away.

Mon dieu, who'd have t'ought dis would turn out to be such a magnificent day?

15


	22. Chapter 22

_Queenofspades19 – I know! I'm so excited to be winding towards the end game that I'm really having to struggle not to rush. I have to admit, there's some stuff I'm not looking forward to, but there's a lot more that I'm dying to write!_

_Tfobmv19 – I am not going to have Rogue dump Remy in Antarctica. In fact I have a bit of an irony planned foah that particular continent. But let me stop before I spoil things. I'm glad you're enjoying, thanks for the feedback!_

_Bologna121 – I'm so glad you enjoyed the ending last chapter! After that hot night, I had to throw in at least a little steamy interaction. As per your request, here is the more! _

_Makbee – I'm really glad that the character development is coming across well. I gotta admit, its been a little tough to go back and forth between two first-person POVs and keep any semblance of organization, so thanks for the reassurance! I'm also glad you liked the Logan/Remy interaction. I get so used to Logan being gruff and aggressive that when he actually uses words I think its really effective. I don't think he could've hit Remy any harder if he'd punched him. I love the Logan/Rogue dynamic too!_

_Shandy – Aww!! Thanks! I love hearing your favorite parts! It lets me know I at least did something right. Yeah, Logan's usually the fist-over-diplomacy type, but I figured he had something really important to say, and sometimes words can hit harder than knuckles. And yeah, Remy definitely needs someone to knock some seriousness into him sometimes. Him and that silver tongue. And yes, Remy can't get through any situation without going into "Gambit mode" at least a little. That cracked me up by the way. Gambit mode. Well put! Glad you're enjoying!_

_Crack4sure – Hey there! Thanks for reading and the review! Hope you're still enjoying it and that it's not moving too slow. Its all coming together I promise! _

Part 22: The Man in the Iron Mask

Gambit's staff landed broadly across mah shoulders, knockin' me forward to stumble through the snow. Sometimes Ah wanna take that thing from him and snap it in two, but in the end ah can never find it in me to do it, knowin' how attached he is.

We'd spent the last couple of weeks in overdrive. The UN correspondents had flatly refused an expedition to Antarctica. They weren't going to go through the expense and organization on something so vague as Hank's revelation. Of course, it wasn't hard to read between the lines: they weren't going to suffer that expense on a blind chance just to rescue four hundred no-account mutant civilians.

Fortunately foah us, Scott managed to convince the Professor to hold off on the order to ship out until we had something more concrete from the processor. Unfortunately, this meant we were all workin' double to prepare just in case. Gambit's free time had all but evaporated in light of helpin' Hank decode and trainin' in the danger room with the rest of us.

Scott, Logan, and Ah were busy trainin' as well, but our additional duty was upgradin' the Blackbird. The Blackbird's a great aircraft, but its structure and programming is so complex that any kinda alteration becomes a major headache.

So between preparation, trainin', and keepin' up with our regular duties, danger room sessions like this one were a rare opportunity to spend time together.

Admittedly we still tried to have a few guilty moments every night befoah bed, but we were both so beat by that time that it was usually minutes only befoah one of us was out cold.

Speakin' of cold, even though we had spent a few weeks trainin' in it, this Antarctic-type freeze was still crampin' mah style. Jean and Scott were hard at work tryin' to perfect our uniforms and apparatus foah the sub-zero temperatures, but still the best of us were lucky to make it through a half hour. There's just no way to appreciate this kinda cold if you've never been in it. Here at least we could get out of it in an emergency: Ah was havin' mah doubts about how long we could stand the real version.

We had scant been in foah a full ten minutes, and already the winds were sappin' mah heat away like it was no more than dust. Mah face and digits had long lost all feelin' but foah a dull sting. Ah had to keep movin' to try and get some blood flowin', but ah had to conserve energy at the same time so ah wasn't overwhelmed too easily. Ah was also shakin' so bad it was hard to concentrate on anything else, much less the rules of hand-to-hand combat.

Ah liked playin' with Remy at least. Since we're both so competitive, Ah was kinda surprised these danger room sessions went so well. Sometimes ah won, sometimes he did, but it didn't really matter. Befoah and after each match, he'd smile and bow, like a gentleman askin' a lady to dance. It was so adorable ah could never find it in me to get mad at him. Either that or Ah was just too thrilled that he was part of the team.

Ah had been so proud that the Professor had recognized under his nare-do-well exterior the same thoughtful, driven, honest, caring, dependable, and valuable person that ah had come to know. Moreover, ah was ecstatic at the thought of Remy stayin' here, foah real, from now on.

It seemed almost silly that ah had once thought Remy and ah were impossible; now we seemed almost inevitable.

Rather than catch mah balance, I left myself fall forward, knowin' from experience that he would already have another blow in progress. As his staff whipped over my head ah grabbed it and yanked it down hard: now it was his turn to be lyin' on the ice.

He grinned over at me. "You wan' to cuddle, you can jus' ask."

"You want a knuckle sandwich, you can just ask," Ah retorted, though I couldn't help but smile back.

Ah shouldn't have. The next moment there was a flash of pink that both startled and momentarily blinded me. Embers from the ruined playing card fell onto mah suit, and ah hastily brushed them off. Once Ah thought to look foah Remy again, he had vanished. Ah couldn't even see the last hint of his leather jacket.

Yeah, he insisted on wearin' the jacket over his uniform. Of course he did.

"Come on girl, focus. There's a reason yoah doin' this," Ah quietly admonished mahself.

Remy's fast, and Ah'm strong. If Ah can catch him, Ah win. We both know this. To save face, ah decided to do somethin' ah hated to do in "Antarctica": Ah flew. There's very little landscape there to hide, and an aerial view was a sure fire way to find mah prey.

The downside is the wind. Not only is it both constant and ferocious, but it also adds a wind chill factor to the already unbearable cold which can easily be deadly. Moreover, Antarctica is well prone to sudden blinding snow storms, which add up to a game over foah me if ah'm caught airborne in one.

So Ah needed to catch him fast. Ah soared up as high as ah dared, and just barely managed to spot him hidin' out under an outcropping of ice. It was almost a miracle ah managed to spot him at all, but as ah turned toward him, ah made mah fatal mistake: Ah turned directly into the wind.

The cold air whipped into mah face and made mah eyes water. No sooner had the tears reached the air than they started to freeze. Ah dropped and started wipin' mah eyes as fast as ah could. Ah ripped mah gloves off and pressed mah hands to mah eyes, hopin' they were warm enough to keep the water from freezin'. Ah heard Gambit call out the code to stop the simulation, and then he grabbed mah arm, pullin' me out into the warm hallway.

The blast of the heaters were almost uncomfortable against mah pallid skin.

"You all right chere? Do I need to get somebody?"

"Ah'm all right." Ah pulled mah gloves back on hastily. "This is ridiculous. We cannot go fight a dang war in Antarctica. If we had a thousand people on our team, we still couldn't do it. We've been trainin' foah weeks and we still can't stay in the dang thing more than what, twenty, thirty minutes?"

"Dey're working on our equipment all de time…"

"Yeah? Well so far it hasn't helped much. Besides, after all this trainin', Ah'm startin' to suspect that those coordinates really are nothing more than a red herring. How could anyone launch this kind of attack from a place like stupid Antarctica? The manpower and the technology…if someone really is down there doin' all this, then we're outta luck befoah we begin."

"I'm wit' you, but sometimes it's easier to show somebody dan to tell dem. De Professor knows how hard we've been working, and he knows how little progress we've made. He's a smart man, let him figure it out."

Ah sighed. "Ah guess yoah right. Ah just miss the old days in the danger room when a gal would win or lose, instead of gettin' off-ed by the dang climate."

"S' not yo' fault Gambit's so good at staying out o' sight."

"Yeah but it is mah fault that ah keep lettin' you talk every time ah get the advantage."

He seemed to consider this. "Well, I can be a hard man to ignore. D'ough really when else do we get to talk? And Antarctica isn' exactly fo' lovers, non?"

Ah tried to keep the heat out of mah cheeks, a feat ah was slowly startin' to master…at least sometimes. "Ah couldn't agree more, but we got work to do. It's gotta slow down eventually. Either you'll turn somethin' up on that processor or we'll get the equipment right foah the expedition or the Professor will give us a dang break and realize this whole thing is stupid."

"Dat's true…but also indefinite." He looked up and down the hallway mischievously. "What do you say we get out o' here and take de afternoon off?"

Sold. Ah couldn' help but giggle a little bit. Unfortunately, it occurred to me that there was one thing Ah absolutely had to do today.

Mah face fell. "Shoot."

"Aw come on, chere. S' only a couple o' hours. Surely whatever it is can wait jus' dis once?"

Ah smiled ruefully. "Ah'm sorry, sugah, but this is one appointment Ah have to keep. But if you can give me an hour, Ah'd be happy to take you up on that offer."

"Gambit mus' be losing his touch…" He feigned a pout.

Ah nodded thoughtfully, which only made him irritable, but it was too funny. "That might be true, but hey, it's nothin' a little practice won't cure." Ah winked at him, and his smile returned. "Meet you in the garage? One hour?"

"And not one minute more, mind you."

"Cross mah heart." Ah hurried down the hall, relishin' the flutter in mah chest that was startin' to become familiar. Ah felt his eyes on me til Ah made it round the corner, and it made me giddy.

Oh yes, an afternoon off with Remy Lebeau was just what the doctor ordered.

Ah went upstairs to the study, which was just off the library. This particular study was restricted from students, and remained locked at all times unless somebody had an appointment. One, it had a lot of technology in it that we didn't want played with, and two, it was quiet and confidential place to do things like what Ah was about to do.

Ah waved at Jean, who was on library duty that day. Though no one knew exactly what Ah was doin', they all knew that the room was reserved for me certain times and days. She smiled and tossed me the key without question.

Ah went in, set up, and waited patiently. Ah didn't have to wait long. Dr. MacTaggart is very prompt.

Suddenly her smiling face appeared on the flat screen. "There ye are!"

"Aren't Ah always?"

"Aye, but not always on time." Her admonition had no bite. "So how are ye today? Charles still working all o' ye half to death?"

"Ah'm afraid so, but ah'm takin' a day off today."

"Oh really? Any big plans?" Sometimes Moira's manner was so casual it was hard to remember that ah was technically in therapy.

"Sneakin' off with Remy." The nice thing about therapy is that the person you talk to is legally bound to keep confidence. Ah had to leak somewhere.

"Shame on ye, brazen lass!" Moira giggled conspiratorially, but then her face tightened into concern. "Ye won't be getting in too much trouble will ye? Don't get me wrong, I'm more than pleased that ye're taking some risks, but-,"

"Oh Ah imagine Ah'll get scolded, but it won't be serious. Ah almost never take any personal time, so they can't really hold it against me."

"I must say I've become altogether curious about this gentlemen o' yours. Perhaps you have a picture?"

"Hmm…actually no."

"I'm no surprised. Ye don't really keep mementos."

"Sure Ah do."

She leveled her eyes at me. "Rogue, since ye've been seeing me, I've asked for pictures of parents, friends, boyfriends, comrades, items from childhood, anything that may have sentimental value attached. Not once have you been able to produce any such thing. Now either ye are lying, which I've no indication of, or this is yet another manifestation of the "burying" behavior we've discussed."

"In mah defense Ah have moved a lot. Ah mean Ah didn't always have the option of keepin' a bunch a junk."

"O' course that's part of it, but there's always the element of personal responsibility. So what part do ye think your actions played?"

This was one of those baited therapy questions. Ah thought back over our discussions about personal responsibility and recognizing choices and opportunities. We'd also had a talk about making excuses and denial, much to mah chagrin. So Ah took a deep breath and thought about mah answer.

"Ah guess that every time Ah've had a relationship end, it's on the premise of some kind of betrayal. So it kinda invalidated all the good stuff."

"How do ye mean? Can ye give me an example?"

"Well…Ah've kinda already told you a lot of them."

"What do ye mean by 'invalidated?'"

"Yoah digging, Moira."

"Aye, but ye're making me. Just explain what ye mean."

Ah sighed. Ah still kinda hated all this gooey feeling stuff, but Moira seemed to think it was important to talk about. She's the expert after all.

"Like Mystique, then. Ah believed foah a while that she really loved me like a daughter, but then her using me, using mah powers, puttin' me in danger again and again, and eventually nearly drivin' me insane…it proved to me that her feelings weren't real, weren't true. So why would Ah keep pictures of us happy together, when Ah knew it was just a lie? Ah don't wanna be reminded of this stuff all the time. Ah wanna get past it. That's why Ah'm here."

"Yes, but ye're going about it all the wrong way. Ye canna make things unhappen, any more with the positive than the negative."

"Ah know that."

"On a conscious level, perhaps. But ye also know on a conscious level that using your given name is really only a simple thing. It has such strong symbolism in your subconscious mind that ye can't bring yourself to do it. No experience is all good or all evil. If ye really want to accept your past, and the person ye truly are a result of those experiences, then ye have to accept all sides of it. Yes, Mystique used, betrayed, and did wrong by ye, but ye were still happy with her at times. Personally, I think she did care about ye, but in her own way, not the way you needed or wanted. There's nothing wrong with remembering that happiness."

Ah was quiet foah a while. "It hurts less to believe that she was all bad."

"Aye, of course it does. It's one of life's hardest lessons, that good people can do bad things, even to people they care about. It leads us to the next hardest lesson: that we ourselves can do bad things, and still be good people. But your constant belief that the people who have hurt ye are monsters has undermined your self-trust. I've heard ye talk about feelings of disbelief and self-deprecation. If everyone ye've loved were truly monsters, then how can ye trust your own feelings?"

"Ya can't."

"Exactly. You go through life mistrusting yourself and everyone around ye."

"Well what do Ah need to do then?"

"I want ye to try to turn the same eyes you give Remy onto your past. Remy seems to be the only person who can do wrong by ye and still garner your trust. I think it's wonderful that you have him, he's a very good influence on you, mostly because he doesn't back down when you try to chase him off."

Ah winced a little. That was true enough. Dang these psychoanalysts and their dang insights.

Ah hid behind a joke. "Ah don't mean to be obtuse, doctor, but Ah don't think Ah can think of Mystique the same way Ah think of Remy."

"Ye know what I mean, young lady. I want ye to tell me about a time ye were happy with Mystique. Dunna try to temper it with hindsight, dunna give me disclaimers, just recite the facts like ye're reading a story: no commentary."

The session wound on, Moira peggin' me every step of the way to the point it was almost insultin'. Ah mean, everyone likes to think of themselves as a complex person, but Moira seems to find me painfully obvious. But she's good at what she does, and Ah knew that if Ah ever wanted to be different Ah needed to step outside mah comfort zone. She was just the person to give me a push.

It was harder to talk about a good time with Mystique than it had been to talk about the bad stuff. Ah'd actually been surprised how well Ah'd relayed my sob story over the past few weeks. Ah watch tv like everyone else, Ah figured ah was supposed to have a big, uncontrollable breakdown at some point, then ah'd be cured. So far, no dice.

But talkin' about this happy stuff was more of a challenge. When Mystique had first found me, Ah thought of her as an angel. Turns out Ah was slightly off.

Finally the hour started winding to a close, and Moira started in on some positive reinforcement. Ah knew this was probably formulaic, but Ah liked it anyway.

"I'm very proud of ye, Rogue. I know that this is very difficult, and can make ye feel vulnerable or embarrassed, but ye're doing a great job, and I'm really feeling hopeful about your progress."

"Thanks, Moira."

"And actually, I have some good news for ye."

Ah perked up. Ah'm a sucker foah surprises. "Oh?"

"Ye've been doing so well at taking direction, and being proactive about your health that I have great confidence that ye will continue to move forward. So I've decided to recommend to Charles that ye begin the process for controlling your powers."

"Really?!?"

"Now granted I'm also going to have to continue the therapy sessions, but I think ye're in a positive and secure enough state o' mind that ye'd be able to make some progress."

"Oh Moira ya won't regret this Ah promise! Oh thank you thank you!"

"Now keep in mind that Charles still has to approve my decision, don't get so excited yet."

"But ah just know he will if its comin' from you!"

"Probably." She admitted sheepishly. "But I also want you to remember that this is still a process that takes time."

"Ah know ah know, you've told me. Ah'm excited to be startin'! Ah mean, if ah could control mah powers, everything would be…"

Ah couldn't find an adjective strong enough. Moira just laughed at my exuberance. "Well, I hope ye get the chance to find out. In the meantime, ye'd better not keep Remy waiting. After all, your conduct in regard to him has been a large factor in my decision."

"Huh?"

"Rogue, ye've shown me that ye're capable of trust, and affection, and intimacy. If those things were completely gone, we'd have much more work to do before you start really confronting your demons."

"Oh…"

"Now go on. Ye're not the only woman in this room with places to be." She smiled warmly at me and waved. I returned the wave, and then the screen went blank.

Since Ah was alone and the door was locked, Ah jumped up and danced around the room excitedly. They were really gonna help me get these powers under control! Ah couldn't wait to tell Remy!

But at that thought, mah enthusiasm curbed. The professor had always tried to warn me that mah powers might not be somethin' Ah could ever control, and ah had to be prepared foah that. Ah didn't want to get Remy all excited over it, only to have to tell him later that it would never happen.

But then Ah got all giddy again. Wouldn't it be that much more exciting anyway? If it was a surprise? If ah just walked in one day and laid one on him? It had been nearly six years since Ah'd touched another person skin to skin without mah powers. Ah'd like that to be the first thing Ah felt.

Ah laughed to mahself just thinkin' of it. A surprise would be perfect.

Ah hurried to mah room to change out of mah uniform and felt the first uncomfortable pangs of havin' a man in mah life: what the hell was Ah gonna wear? Dang this skin thing! Ah could just suck it up and do jeans and tee-shirt…but surely there were options, even foah me. Ah had a skirt, but it was kinda more evenin' oriented and Ah didn't want him to know Ah made an effort. He'd jump to conclusions and become immediately unbearable. Hmm. Ah could just go with the jeans and try to dress it up with a nice top. Then Ah remembered: there was a sundress Ah bought during mah less coherent days after Sinister, pale green, empire waist, billowy skirt. It was perfect, except foah mah skin. Hmm. A pair of pantyhose would take care of the legs…obviously the long gloves, but foah the shoulders? Ah dug through mah closet, keepin' one eye on the clock. Beige cardigan. Good enough. Ah threw it all on, along with a pair of brown strappy sandals with just a tiny heel. Then Ah went to mah dresser, fumblin' in the top drawer foah some mah eyeliner and some sheer lip gloss. It was the best Ah could do under short notice.

When Ah walked into the garage, Remy revved the motorcycle. Ah smiled broadly at him, unable to contain mah good mood. Then Ah silently cursed mah decision to wear a stupid dress. A girl can't win some days. Oh well.

"Where to petite?"

Ah jumped on the motorcycle behind him, wrappin' mah arms around his stomach. It occurred to me briefly that this may well be the reason he chose the motorcycle in the first place, but Ah didn't care: Ah almost agreed with him.

"Anywhere so long as ya drive fast."

He lit up a cigarette. "I love it when you make t'ings easy on me."

Like that we were off, wind rushin' overhead and road underneath. There's just somethin' about a bike: it's reckless, it's stupid, but it's so much fun. Ah pressed mahself against him, guiltily enjoying his particular scent and the feel of his movement as he steered us in no particular direction.

After Ah while, ah had an idea.

"Take Saw Mill River parkway."

"How far?" He called back over his shoulder.

"You in a rush?"

He chuckled to himself as he merged on. We took exit 23 into the Bronx, and towards one of mah favorite hidey-holes.

An Beal Bocht is an irish café that has some of the best coffee above the Mason-Dixon line. It's also a great venue foah local talent to come in and play. Weekends were reserved for Irish music only, but the weeks were full of a bohemian assortment of homespun music, poetry, comedy, and small scale theatre: it was the kind of place that made you feel like you were far away from all yoah troubles, which was just where Ah wanted to be.

But also, the coffee…

When we pulled in, the crisp notes of an acoustic guitar were already driftin' across the lot, tangled hopelessly with a smooth male tenor.

Ah jumped off the back of the bike and headed inside, but Remy put a hand to mah shoulder, stoppin' me. Ah turned back to look at him.

"What's wrong?"

"We're not at de mansion."

"You noticed?"

"I agreed to playing coy at de mansion. Out here's a different story…"

He pulled in close, planting a stubborn kiss to the top of mah head and then looped his fingers through mine, pulling me along.

"You look beautiful, by de way, chere."

Ah flushed all the way to the tips of mah ears and followed him in a silly stupor. As soon as we entered the place, Pat, one of the managers, rushed over. Though he was a second generation American, he was every inch an Irishman, from his close cropped red hair, to his round middle, to his consistently beet red face, to his warm sense of hospitality, to his sudden and fiery temper.

"Well hello there pretty! I was starting to think I'd seen the last of you!"

"Me? Never. Just been a bit hellish at work."

"Ah yes, the young miss is a very important lady, to be sure. Far too important to come out and have a good time."

"Now ya know that's not what Ah meant. Ah'm here aren't ah?"

"I suppose you have a point there. And who's this with you? You've never brought anyone in with you. Well, you know any friend of yours is a friend of ours, so long as he's not the reason you've been so very busy…" He winked at Remy, who characteristically grinned rather than defend mah honor.

Ah rolled mah eyes and cleared mah throat. "This is Remy Lebeau. He's mah…uh…an acquaintance of mine."

He rushed forward and shook Remy's hand in both of his with vigor as he teased, "Acquaintance huh? Sounds serious."

"Gentil de vous rencontrer, monsieur."

"A Frenchman!" he exclaimed good naturedly. "Bless your heart, young lady! It would be a staunch woman indeed who could withstand the seductive talents of a Frenchman! Well then, I suppose Mickey will be heart broken." Mickey was Pat's brother, who could also be his twin. It was a long standing joke that Ah was Mickey's "one true love", even though he was hopelessly taken with his wife, who was best known foah smackin' him in the head at least twenty times a day.

Ah was quickly becomin' flustered when Remy jumped in. "Dat's de price o' having such a face. Every great beauty has to leave at least a short trail o' broken hearts. Surely even de Irish can appreciate dat, non?"

Pat shook with heavy laughter. "All right fair enough. Besides, Irishmen have a cure-all: a nice round of Guinness. Mickey will have to see his way through it. But please, don't let me keep you. Lord knows I've got work to do. Make yourselves right at home. Stage is open to anyone who wants on, and I'm just sure today's the day Miss Rogue would like to regale our company with her lovely voice."

"Not this or any other day and you know it."

"Well let's just see, shall we? The usual for starters?"

"And another foah mah friend?"

He nodded and smiled widely befoah he scuttled off to take care of Lord knows what.

"What did you just order fo' me?"

"The best coffee in New York."

"Dat's my girl."

The tables were all crowded, so Ah headed foah the lounge-area, where vacant, over-stuffed couches beckoned. Ah settled into one, expectin' Remy would sit across from me. Instead, he sat down next to me, drapin' one heavy arm across mah shoulders. Ah stiffened out of habit, but tried to relax into it.

"Yoah really pushin' today, Cajun."

"Gotta make de most of it. One, after dis stunt Hank will never let me see de light o' day again, and two, yo' in one o' yo' rare good humors."

"Am Ah really that moody?" Ah looked up at him, momentarily concerned.

"Yo' getting better all de time." He smiled down teasingly, and Ah shook mah head at him while secretly enjoying the warmth and feel of his closeness.

The man playing guitar had stepped down, and in his place was a girl at the piano. She wasn't much good. Ah love a good piano, but the song was a desperate "can't live without you" romance, and her whiny voice wound out the angsty lyrics as though her teeth were in the way. Remy winced as she wailed out a note just out of her range, and our eyes locked in quiet disapproval that made us both laugh.

The waiter brought us coffee and menus. Ah had determined to get something light, like a sandwich, but after the danger room mah stomach had other plans: hot and heavy. As such, Ah ordered the shepherd's pie. Apparently Remy had the same idea as he enthusiastically requested the roast beef and a Guinness brie wheel appetizer.

Once he left, Remy took a sip of his coffee and all but purred. Ah grinned.

"Told ya so."

"Fo' once, petite, it seems yo' right."

"Foah once? When have ah ever been wrong?"

"Only every moment since I met you."

Ah flicked him in the arm, and he feigned a wounded face. "All dis abuse all de time."

"As often as you earn it Ah figure you must like it at least a little."

"'S a plausible theory. Maybe we can experiment a little one o' dese days." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"You just can't help yoahself can ya?"

"I could, but den I t'ink yo' starting to warm up to me."

"Oh yeah, what gave ya that impression?"

He shrugged and smiled. "Jus' a feeling."

"Where do you get a head like yoah's anyhow? Ah would think Mattie woulda beat it out of you years ago."

He nodded thoughtfully. "S' not like she didn' try. But I was born into an all boy generation. Only so much she could do."

"What do you mean, all boys? What about Merci?"

"Merci married in. Growing up was jus' me, Henri, Emil, Etienne, and Theoren."

"Lord have mercy, five boys?"

"Best time of my life."

"Ah'm sure."

We let it hang while the wailer stepped off the stage and two guys stepped up, one with a guitar and the other with a banjo. They started unloaded some traditional Irish tunes, always lively with touches of both humor and longing. We kept talking.

"What was it like, growin' up in such a large family?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well it was always just me, growin' up. Ah always wanted brothers and sisters. Just wonderin' if the grass is really greener."

"Dere's ups and downs to everyt'ing. On de one hand, everyt'ing was always such a production. Even going out to family dinner was an exercise in scheduling and transportation. And den o' course you got to earn attention from people, find a way to stand out. We fought all de time. T'ings get political when too many people are involved. But on de uddah hand, you always had somebody around you were close to, always people to depend on and confide in. We were never bored, and we always cared about each uddah. I t'ink wit' any uddah family, I woulda spent more time wonderin' about my real parents. I was happy enough dat I didn' care. Still don', really, 'cept fo' idle curiosity every once in a while."

Ah frowned. "Then why do ya hate goin' home so much?"

He sighed, and looked over at me foah a moment thoughtfully. "De business. De business ruins everyt'ing. Dere's a reason people say don' mix business and pleasure, and 's cause de one kills de uddah."

His face was still passive, but his tone was hard. Ah didn't have a great record at approachin' him when he's in these moods, so Ah hesitated a moment. Ah remembered back in New Orleans: if ah pushed him, he'd just get mad and snap at me, then Ah'd be too distracted to ever get any answers. But Ah so desperately wanted to know him better. Maybe Ah could distract him.

Ah leaned in and snuggled closer to him, reachin' over to stroke his hand absently. Of course we both know Ah never touch anyone absently, but perhaps the gesture would count foah somethin'.

"So why can't ya just tell them yoah not gonna do the business part and see them anyway?"

"S' not like that."

"How is it then?"

"S' jus' complicated."

"Lots of things are complicated Remy, you normally sort your way out." Ah gave him a meaningful smile, but he only lowered his eyebrows. Ah frowned. "Come on, talk to me. We got time."

"Why are you so interested?"

"Aren't Ah supposed to take an interest in ya?"

"Dere's no point in 'supposed to'. Yo' not obligated to do anyt'ing you don' wan'."

Ah felt mah patience wearin' off, and Ah crossed mah arms over mah chest. "Would you quit bein' so dang stubborn?"

He jaw tightened defiantly. "Yo' calling _me_ stubborn?"

"Oh Ah know _Ah'm_ stubborn, Gambit, but the difference is, Ah'm makin' an effort to open up, like _you_ asked. Least you can do is meet a lady halfway."

He withdrew his arm, suddenly foul-tempered. "Well den what is it you wan' to know so badly dat it can' wait til I'm ready to tell you?"

Ah glared at him and he glared right back. Ah watched him straighten and simmer, and slowly recognized that stupid, closed, aggressive stance that meant the conversation was over, whether Ah wanted to go on pretendin' or not.

Disappointment overshadowed mah anger, and Ah let mah shoulders drop and looked away.

"Forget it."

A shadow of confusion danced over his face befoah he settled back beside me. We sat, pretendin' to watch the stage acts and not talking foah a full five minutes. At first mah irritation was ample company, but then mah own mind ruined mah otherwise satisfied fuming.

Ah had been so happy earlier at the thought of surprising him with a kiss. Now here we were, another chance to be together out on a date like a normal couple, and again, spoiled. My feelin's took a terrible nose dive toward dejected and morose.

Why didn't he want to talk to me anyway? About anything? Ever? As long as we talked about me, us, or our immediate surroundings he was all charm. The second Ah ask him a personal question he turns into Mr. Hyde and gives me that look like "who do you think you are?"

Ah just couldn't reconcile his behavior with his outrageous claims that Ah was somethin' special. How was Ah supposed to be close to him if Ah couldn't know anything about him? Ah mean ah can certainly sympathize with reluctance to open up, but Ah didn't try to make him feel stupid and annoying foah asking.

Suddenly Ah felt like all eyes were watchin' me and Remy, his posture rigid with agitation, mine slouched with dejection. We were just the sort of couple Ah would normally make fun of. Ah slid mah eyes discreetly over to him, but he was still pointedly watchin' the stage. Ah sighed.

Well, he'd been patient with me so far, maybe Ah should just try a little harder.

"Ok, what did Ah do wrong?"

"What makes you t'ink you did somet'ing wrong?"

"Would you lay off the Socratic method and answer the dang question? Yoah mad, yoah not talkin', yoah not even tryin' to touch me or make any lewd comments."

"Maybe I'm tired."

"Look, if ya don't tell me what Ah'm doin' wrong Ah'm not gonna learn how to avoid it or make it right."

Ah waited but he just sat, sulkin'. Ah put one hand to the side of his face and turned him toward me a little less than gently. "You know you can trust me, right?"

He glowered down a moment longer, and then sighed. "Actually no, I don' know. But I guess I have to give it a try, at least."

Ah was a little miffed at the answer, but Ah decided to swallow it since Ah was gettin' close. "It might be helpful. Besides, who am Ah gonna tell?"

He looked tired all the sudden and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "What do you wan' to know?" He wasn't bein' defiant now.

Ah took a deep breath, and then lifted his arm back around mah shoulders. "We were talkin' about why you don't like to see yoah family."

"Oh yeah. Dat." He took a heavy breath. "De t'ieving business is not like uddah family businesses. S' neither a day nor a night job. No matter where you are, what yo' doin', or who yo' wit', yo' still a t'ief. S' de blood. Been dat way fo' centuries. Cradle to grave, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."

Ah nodded thoughtfully, tryin' to figure out the questions that would keep him talkin', and avoid the ones that would make him shut up.

"So…why don't you like bein' a thief? From what I gather ya weren't bad at it or anything."

He looked almost curious foah a second. "You want me to go back to stealing go' a living?"

"Not if you don't want to. Ah just wondered what yoah problem is with it."

"You don' have a problem wit' it?"

Ah considered. "Not really. Ah've known lots of people that have done lots of bad things. Lord knows Ah'm no saint. From the time we spent with yoah family, they never seemed to take things from anyone who'd really miss it. In fact…" Ah trailed off, not sure if Ah should say what Ah was thinkin', but his eyes pressed me. "Ah kinda thought of it like Robin Hood or somethin'." Ah looked down, embarrassed.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a small smile returnin' to his lips. "Robin Hood hahn? Sounds dashing. Guess I'll just have to sweep some maiden off her feet to make de impression complete."

"What am Ah? Friar Tuck?"

He laughed loudly, and Ah started to feel a little more confident.

He wiped at a corner of his eye. "You always surprise me, chere."

"Why?"

He gave me one of those glances that makes it hard foah me to breathe, those red eyes of his borin' into me like fire. "All de t'ings dat uddah people hate about me, you like, or at least don' seem to mind. Like right now. When I look at you, you never look away. S' like you don' care what I look like, or what I do. Jus' who I am. It surprises me always."

It never in a million years would have occurred to me that Remy Lebeau would be self-conscious. It was hard to imagine anyone not likin' him. At least, any woman. Ah tried to fight through the bewilderment that his stare put on me to reassure him.

"Yoah a good person, Remy. Yes yoah charmin' and attractive, but yoah also kind, and perceptive, and patient. Ah don't want you to ever think that Ah care about ya because Ah'm lookin' foah a good time. Ah care about _you_. Behind all the quips and secrecy." Ah put a hand on his chest, tentatively. "Inside. The real you. That's the person Ah want to know better."

His face became serious, and he placed one of his hands over mine on his chest, closing his eyes. We he opened them again, they smoldered, and his smile was warm enough to melt ice.

"So I'm charming _and_ attractive?"

Ah ignored his attempt to lighten the moment. Ah didn't know when ah could get him here again. "Ya take mah breath away."

He sighed. "I know de feeling." He pulled me back in close to him, and foah maybe the first real time, Ah felt close to him. Ah sank into his arms without hesitation, wrappin' mine around his stomach.

Finally, he answered mah question. "De t'ing about t'ieving is dat its basically wrong, any way you look at it. When you do bad t'ings, you find yo'self taking a path to uddah bad t'ings. If you go too far, you become someone you never wanted to be. I don' want to go dat far. So I left, hoping dat good t'ings will have a way o' leading to a better life, even if it doesn' seem possible from where you started."

"How's that workin' foah ya?"

He kissed the top of mah head. "Better dan I expected."

The music played on, and he talked about New Orleans, his family, travelin' on his own, bein' an X-man. We ate and talked and laughed so long that the sun fell and the stars came out, and all the while his heart thrummed under mah ear until the sights and sounds and closeness lulled me into a surprised and happy sleep.

18


	23. Chapter 23

_Dear Readers – I hate to give excuses but I really feel like I owe you one. Over the past several months (you know, the ones where I didn't update) I have really been up to my ears with things to do. I double enrolled in college over the summer in order to graduate on time, and between reading, writing, studying, and going to class I just didn't get a whole lot of time for consciousness and creativity. Also, I started my very own counseling (which inspired the final Moira segment) because apparently I'm not entirely normal. Lol. No, really its more like Rogue: I'm just trying to get myself to a healthier place. But enough about that. Once the summer was over I needed to move two hours away to rejoin my parents until such time as my finances improve (is that not the lamest thing you ever heard?) and if any of you have families I'm sure you can understand how that might be hectic. Suffice to say I've either been busy or exhausted, but things are finally settling down a little and I'm getting into a more reasonable schedule. I've missed writing this as much if not more than you've missed reading it. I was just getting to the good parts and everything stopped! But here, finally, is a new chapter for you to enjoy. It might not be the most incredible ever as I got a little rusty, but I'm hoping to get my stride back as quickly as possible. Thanks so much for your patience and for continuing to read. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I will not abandon this story. I will finish it, so help me. I hope you all are doing really well, and I can't wait to hear what you think!_

_Red Skippy – Thank you! It's always wonderful to hear from you! I was worried that the café would be a little too low key, and maybe boring, but I'm glad it came across pretty well. I promise that there are more chapters like this, but unfortunately not for a little bit. I've got to move the other plot with the Sentinels forward a little bit. Thanks so much for reading!_

_Bologna121 – At long last I have managed to comply with your request for more. ____ Things should pick up from here, and thanks for reading!_

_Iloveromys – Hi! Thanks so much for reviewing! And no worries about the privacy thing, romy fans are some of the awesomest people anywhere so I don't mind sharing. *grins* I'm actually not from NY, but just south of Washington, D.C.. The café is real however, I looked it up online and even had our favorite crime fighting duo order from the real menu. The Swing 41 club also exists, as does saw mill river parkway. I use google maps to find cool spots near the supposed address of the X-mansion to send them to. If I ever head up that way, I think I'll have to stop and try it out. That shepherd's pie did sound delicious. If you do end up going, let me know how it is! That would be really exciting!_

_Queenofspades19 – hoorah! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed the date! I kind of enjoyed writing some down time for our favorite couple, what with all the chaos all the time. Everyone needs a break._

_Crack4sure – If you've really been on dates like that then I'm totally jealous! Lol. Happily ever after indeed. How could it not be happily ever after with Remy? Thanks for reading and for your review!_

_Aniuwolfe – thank you so much for reading through this entire thing! I feel so bad for those of you joining the story now because its just so heinously long, and not even finished yet. It is such a huge compliment that you took the time out of your life, but especially your sleep to read. I hope it was worth it! I don't want to give too much away, but I have some very different plans for Antarctica than what you're thinking. I won't say if its good or bad, just different. And we'll just see what kind of trouble comes Remy's way. Thank you for your review and suggestions, it keeps my wheels turning!_

_ChaiGirl – Geez! I stole an entire day from you? I'll say I'm sorry only if you didn't enjoy it. ____ Thank you for reading through the whole way, and for your incredibly thoughtful comments. I'm glad the characters are coming across so well, as really it's the person interactions that drew me to X-men to begin with. Please do keep me in check if that starts to slip! I'm sorry you had to spend so much time on an incomplete story, but as I've said before, this story will get done. It may take awhile, but I swear I will not abandon it! _

_Shandy – Your reviews always reassure me that I'm not the only person in the world who thinks I'm funny. Lol. As far as Remy's snippiness, he's patience himself as long as he isn't feeling vulnerable. After all, Rogue isn't the only one with a tough past. But all in good time. Muahahaha! And thanks for the specific quote, it made me laugh that I could make you laugh. I am so jealous of you being a Scot! I think Scotland is beautiful and I've always wanted to go, but no dice so far. I apologize for the broad accent as I know it's over the top, but I figured I'd just write accents the way they were in the comics, like you said. And if its any consolation, I'm originally from Georgia (deep American south) and I don't sound anything like Rogue! Lol. However, if you have any suggestions for me about anything you'd like done differently, or any details stuff you'd like included, I'm all ears! Thanks for reading and your review!_

_SparklesInTheSun – Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! I'm also glad that you seem to think there's a good balance between the serious and humor portions. I have trouble deciding when something is lighthearted and when it needs to be heavy, so I'm glad I'm not mucking it up terribly so far. Logan is incredibly special, and I love how protective he is of Rogue too! I don't know what she did to make him like her so much, but I'm glad she did it. And Bobby is such a wild card. He really does think out loud, and its one of his most charming traits. Sorry it took me so long to update!_

_Selina – Hahahaha! To the point as usual! Thank you for that review, it made me laugh a lot. You're approval is worth a thousand words. Thanks for reading along, hope you enjoy the new chapter as much as the last one!_

_Sweetcornbee – Never fear, dear reader! I have taken a solemn vow never to abandon this story! Granted it has taken me an unreasonably long time to post this latest update, but if you'll see the above hopefully you can forgive me. I really desperately want to finish this story. I'm every bit as emotionally involved as you are. I'm glad the pace doesn't feel too slow. On the one hand I want Remy and Rogue together, but on the other I want it to feel real without taking the rest of my life to finish. I just hope the grand finale lives up to your expectations! Thanks for reading and your review!_

_Randirogue – Thank you so much for finding my story and taking the time to read it, I know what a huge time investment it is at this point, and I'm glad its still good enough to capture your attention! I'm sorry its taken such a long time to update, but I promise I will never abandon this story. I'm sticking to my guns, I'm just a slowpoke. Hopefully the updates will be more forthcoming for the next little bit. ____ As far as constructive criticism goes, that will certainly not impeded future updates, and I'd love to hear any comments or suggestions you might have. I want this story to not suck more than anyone! Lol. Thank you for all the compliments and the review!_

Part 23: Prophecy

I didn' wan' to do it. She looked so sweet, limp in my arms wit' sleep. S' moments like dese dat touch a special place in my heart.

We had been quietly listening to de music fo' some time, but it had still surprised me to feel her slump against my shoulder wit' one big sigh. I had looked down to find an angel sleeping.

But it was after eleven, and our communicators were buzzing. If we waited much longer Scott would surely sick de dogs on us. I had to do it, whether I wanted to or not.

I gently pulled my arm out from under her. It was jus' enough to jostle her awake, and she jumped, eyelids fluttering open to reveal dose twin pools o' green.

I smiled and ran one hand through her hair. "Hey dere, sleeping beauty."

She sat up abruptly and started rubbing her eyes. "Oh geez did Ah really fall asleep? Ah'm sorry Rem, Ah didn't even realize Ah was tired."

I shrugged at her. "I didn' mind."

Jus' den de communicators buzzed again. Rogue looked down and groaned. "He's gonna skin us alive."

"I t'ink yo' probably safe from dat particular fate, chere." She cut her eyes at me, but smiled.

"Ah suppose we have to face the music, huh?"

"I could tie you up and tell dem I kidnapped you."

"Now why do Ah not trust you under those circumstances?"

I grinned. "Beats me. But hey, maybe we'll save dat fo' a later date." Den I t'ought about it and ran a hand through my hair a little nervously. "So…does dis count as a first date? Or we still jus' 'acquaintances'?"

Her eyes got big fo' a second, and den she cocked her head to one side curiously. "You'd accept this as a first date? Ah mean, we didn't dress up or spend a bunch of money…just seems sort of casual foah yoah idea of a date."

I smiled gently. "I don' know about you, petite, but I had a wonderful time."

She smiled her biggest smile and looked away as she blushed. "Well then, Mr. Lebeau, Ah suppose we're datin'."

It would be an understatement to say "dat took long enough", so instead I grabbed her around de waist and spun her around while she slapped mah chest and told me to put her down, dangit!

"Honestly, Cajun, can't you ever skip the theatrics?"

"Not wit' you. Besides, I t'ought you wanted to know me better. Guess I'm jus' gon' have to act like myself mo' often."

She smiled encouragingly. "Just as long as you remember that Ah can pile drive you all the way down to the subway if Ah've got a mind to."

"'S a deal." I grabbed her hand and we started making our way out. As we stepped outside, I frowned. De night had put a chill in de air, and a light drizzle was coming down from a shrouded sky.

Rogue had chosen a dress, and I had chosen de motorcycle. I hate it when t'ings don' work out de way I planned.

"Tell you what, chere, why don' you let me call you cab and I'll take de bike back?"

"Not a chance. Ah give you the bike and you'll take the long way home. Ah'm not facin' everybody by mah lonesome."

I laughed. "What if I swear I'll make it back first?"

She fidgeted wit' her skirt. "If's it's all the same, Ah'd like to stay with you. Besides, it's not that cold."

Now how could I resist? "All right den, dere's only one solution: you got to wear de jacket."

"Remy you'll freeze. And like Ah said, it's not that cold."

"We gon' be traveling sixty-five miles an hour on a motorbike fo' twenty minutes. You are wearin' de jacket."

"And what are you gonna wear, pray tell?"

I grinned wickedly. "You."

I let her decide whether she was irritated, flustered, or intrigued while I swung my jacket off and around her shoulders. It was big in all de wrong places, and it made her look like a little girl playing dress-up as she scowled up at me. Adorable.

We hopped on de bike, and I took my time getting it started up while she wound dose arms around me, pressing close against my back. On de one hand, I loved to revel in her touch, but on de uddah, her curves were de kind dat could give a man a problem if he didn' mind his manners.

Suddenly a t'ought occurred to me. "Hey, you mind if we make a quick stop while we're out?"

"No. In fact Ah'm all foah any delay you can conjure."

"Unfortunately dis won' take long, but since we're out anyway…"

It had occurred to me dat in all de hullabaloo back at de mansion, it had been nearly a month since I had checked my P.O. Box fo' any information from Henri. Of course, it had been pretty quiet befo' dat so I wasn' too worried, but it was probably gon' be a long while befo' we were allowed back out o' de mansion.

I got us dere quick as I could and left Rogue wit' de bike. I had some second t'oughts about bringing Rogue to my secret correspondence, but hey, we were here and after all, P.O. boxes are secure against most prying eyes. Not mine, o' course, but probably hers.

To my surprise, dere were three letters inside. I didn' wan' to risk opening dem in de rain, so I stuffed dem in my pockets and went back to de bike.

D'ough my mind raced with curiosity, I tried not to t'ink about de letters. Not'ing I could do til I got home and opened dem, and I wanted to enjoy my ride wit' Rogue befo' de world came crashing down.

It wasn' hard to stay warm on dat bike. My mind went back over our evening: our first date. I had been chasing dis girl so long it caught me off guard when she started chasing me. I hadn' even gotten close to saying any o' de t'ings dat might be deal breakers, but even still, I couldn' remember de last time I'd felt so close to anyone.

God help me, I was so happy.

We pulled up to de gate, and I hesitated befo' pushing de button dat would open dem and alert everyone to de fact dat we were back. I reached out tentatively, but Rogue grabbed my wrist.

"Remy, stop the bike will ya?"

I obliged, and she climbed off. "You know, as soon as you push that button, this date is over."

"You suggesting somet'ing?" I winked, hopefully.

"Nah. Ah suppose we gotta go back sometime."

"Well den?"

She twisted her fingers; a mannerism dat meant whatever she was gon' say or do next she'd been working up to fo' awhile. Dis could potentially be very bad. I went rigid, waiting.

"Well, um, Ah didn't think dates ended by pushin' a button."

Like a dummy, I didn' follow. Instead I raised an eyebrow, invitin' her to go on. She rubbed her shoulder nervously.

"Ah…um…sorta thought they ended with a kiss."

As soon as I could make meaning o' her words, I couldn't help but smile, dismounting de bike and striding over to her.

"Of course. Yo' absolutely right, ma chere. How could I forget?"

I wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her close, and with the uddah took her hand in mine, raising it. I brushed my cheek lightly across her knuckles befo' I pressed my lips gently to de back o' her hand, lingering dere long enough to meet her eyes.

She was breathing quick, nervous breaths, and her eyes seemed conflicted. I had jus' enough time to wonder what was going on befo' she leapt at me, wrapping one arm around my neck wit' her fingers in my hair.

Wit' no warning whatever, she put her uddah hand to my lips, and planted a hard kiss on de uddah side.

Fo' a moment I was too startled to do anyt'ing at all. It tends to happen when she gets in dese moods. Den I was hopelessly enslaved to my senses, which is usually de next t'ing dat happens.

I know it seems strange to you. Her hand kept us separated, what kind o' kiss is dat? But dis is because you haven' been kissed by Rogue. I have dat honor. I could feel her lips on de uddah side, moving wit' mine. I could feel her sweet breath on my face. I could feel how much she wanted me, and I couldn' help but feel exactly de same.

Dere's not'ing quite like being close wit' someone who's close to you. Work dat out fo' yo'self.

After an indeterminate amount o' time, we drew back. I felt my eyes burning, but I didn' care, because I knew she didn'.

"T'anks…fo' dat."

She smiled shyly, and fo' some reason it made me wan' to shred dat dress o' hers. I considered it briefly, but den decided dat it was, after all, de first date. So instead I hugged her, and she hugged me back. I enjoyed it fo' all it was worth.

She sighed heavily. "Well Cajun, its been nice knowin' ya." Wit' dat, she pressed de button to open de gate.

Scott came over de intercom. "Get in here THIS MINUTE."

Our eyes met regretfully as we hopped back on de bike and drove it into de garage. Scott was standing inside with his arms crossed over his chest, staring down his nose at us. Scott's aggressive stance always makes me feel like he's gon' pull a bazooka out o' thin air and blow me away befo' I can say "oncle".

"I don't suppose either of you have anything to say for yourselves."

"Non, and since we got not'ing to say we'll jus head upstairs wit'out supper. Bon nuit-,"

"Oh shut it Lebeau. Do you two have any idea what you might have caused, leaving without any warning and not answering your communicators? Do you realize that the communicators are for EMERGENCY communication only?"

"Well no, Dad, actually Ah didn't, cause you use them more like baby monitors. Now we are X-men but we are also adults. We've been workin' hard and we decided to take the afternoon off. Ah don't think Ah need to explain mahself."

"If you were such a confident adult, Rogue, then why didn't you tell someone you were leaving?"

"Well…cause…ya woulda said no."

"That's funny. I thought you didn't need my permission. You think anybody here _hasn't _been working hard? No one else felt the need to go AWOL. It was immature and irresponsible. You want to get treated like an adult? Act like one. In the meantime, the communication you so graciously chose to ignore was letting you know that there was an emergency of sorts here at the mansion. We needed you and we couldn't reach you. For being the two newest members of the X-men team, you two certainly know how to earn your stripes."

Me and Rogue stood dere shuffling our feet and looking at de ground. I had a flashback to every single day o' my childhood.

"I'd love to elaborate further on just how much this kind of attitude offends me, but unfortunately I don't have the time. Suffice to say you will make this up to the team in triplicate at my discretion. For now both of you need to be made at least partially aware of our new tenants."

Rogue looked up. "New tenants?"

"Exactly. The Brotherhood arrived today to help us with the investigation of the Sentinel attacks. I would've liked to give you some time to prepare, Rogue, but you know, gosh, I couldn't get ahold of you."

You know Scott's mad when he's being sarcastic. That's like a code red. He turned and stormed inside. Rogue stood still, staring intently at the floor.

"You all right, chere?"

"Fine. Just tryin' to remember if Ah've ever absorbed anybody that can turn invisible."

"Now dat I don' know…but at least yo' invincible."

She sighed. "It'll have to do."

"Besides, even invisible, I can smell ya." We both jumped and turned at the sound of another voice.

Logan entered the garage from behind us. "Great googamooga Logan don't do that to me!"

"Look kid, if I hadn't been off tryin' to find ya fer the last two hours I might care. Things being what they are, you better know ol' Mystique has been wheedlin' into yer business since the second she got here. Might wanna be more discrete in the future."

"Let her snoop then. Ah don't give a hoot what she thinks."

She sounded confident when she said it, but one look from Logan let me know I wasn' de only one less dan convinced.

We headed to our rooms in a strange kind o'humor. On de one hand, Rogue and I had successfully completed our first date and neither one was dead: dat's reason to celebrate. One de uddah, knowing dat de Bruddahood was lurking around de corner made _un homme _ill at ease.

I would like to continue wit' "de next morning" but sadly de story picks up "later dat night". Hank McCoy is a man who is sustained on passion alone, and gave me an ungodly wake up call.

"Remy my boy you'll never believe what I've discovered!"

I pulled de covers over my head to block out the sudden light wit' a groan. "Agreed. So why don' you convince me when de sun comes up hahn?"

Hank either ignored me, or was too excited to realize I had spoken. "I've been so side tracked by the coding and guidance systems that I overlooked the most elementary evidence. Erik noticed an irregularity in the metal alloy used in the construction of the Sentinels. Of course I was immediately perplexed, and upon closer inspection of what I had assumed to be ordinary materials, I found instead a highly complex polymer. After some experimentation I discovered the basic traits of the polymer are to be lightweight, durable, but most intriguing was their heat properties. The chemical bonds are such that they are somewhat vulnerable to extreme heat, but incredibly resistant against extreme cold. I don't know how I could have missed this before. Of course the on board computers and electronics would need some kind of protection. It seems I couldn't see the forest for the trees."

"Hank?" I sat up and looked at him groggily. "I don' mean to rain on your parade, so I'll try to say dis as slowly an' gently as possible…huh?"

He laughed his perpetually good natured laugh. "This means, my sleep deprived friend, that Antarctica is a realistic destination. There's no other reason the Sentinels would not only have the coordinates but also be equipped for such an extreme climate. Though we don't know where the destination falls in the big picture, it is most assuredly where we will find our next clues."

"Excellent work, Hank. Tres bon. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"I'm afraid not. There's so much to do and time is more critical than ever."

"O' course. When is time not critical?"

Hank shot me an apologetic look as I flung de covers off an' slipped a pair o' jeans and my jacket over my pajamas. We hurried down to de subbasement where a throng o' zombified-looking mutants were gath'ring round de conference table. O' course, dere were a few unfamiliar faces, as well as a few unwelcome ones.

"Excellent, Charles. Of course we have no objections to an Antarctic expedition. How very exciting. Do let us know if there's any way we can help with the various elements of bureaucracy."

Dere was no mistaking dis homme. His voice was a rich baritone, his posture regal, his longish-gray hair, though slicked back, was reminiscent o' a lion in winter. He wore a jarringly blood red suit and a purple cape, and his left arm rested on a purple metal helmet clearly visible from its prominent perch on de table. Magneto.

"I appreciate the gesture of goodwill, Erik, but I'm not sure what you mean," de Professor's voice was good-natured as always, but his face had a guarded quality dat I hadn't seen before.

"Well certainly you will need to coordinate with your friends from the government, international organizations, humanitarian supporters, all your human friends who will be rushing to aid us in this historical endeavor."

Magneto didn' even try to mask his sarcasm, and de Professor's voice was harder when he answered, "I'm afraid I have not concealed any interested parties from you. The only people we need concern ourselves with organizing are those here at the mansion: succinctly, the Brotherhood and we X-men."

Feigning a look o' surprise, Magneto pressed on. "Why Charles, I am shocked. All this time you've led me to believe that cooperation between humans and mutants was a sure success. Here I thought with all your connections and persistent work in encouraging acceptance that some progress would have been made: certainly enough to persuade some human somewhere that 400 mutant civilians have civil rights worth protecting."

De Bruddahood emissaries snickered unabashedly. Charles ignored dem completely and answered in a hard voice, "I, like you, was hopeful for a greater response than what reality has granted us at this time. Nevertheless, I am loath to give up on the cause of what is right and decent only because the path proves harder than expected. I find hope easier to defend than tyranny, but on this point you and I consistently differ. I am not interested in evangelism at present, old friend, not for my part or yours. We are here on common ground, and I suggest we stay on it until the task at hand is resolved."

Every X-man present backed up de Professor's words wit a harsh glare. De Professor is an easy man to get behind, I'll give him dat. To my surprise, Erik nodded almos' respectfully. "Very well, old friend. Let us retire the debate for the time being on this last word: I'd like to remind any of you X-men who are troubled by the logical notion of mutants relying on friends rather than enemies that there are plenty who share your conviction, and there is a place where you can enjoy the security of protection from the outside world without living a lie."

"And let me remind any of you interested in free will for yourselves or others that you are exactly where you need to be and are welcome to remain as long as you determine appropriate. Henry, will you share your findings with us?"

Normally, ol' Remy has no head fo' politics but dis was an exciting lil' exchange; warring fo' souls in 100 words or less. Hank got up an' began his dissertation, but seeing as I'd already heard de bulk o' it and my hackles were up I t'ought it best to familiarize myself wit' de new faces. I immediately recognized Mystique on Magneto's right: she makes an impression dat's hard to forget. She hadn' so much as glanced at me, but kept her challenging gaze on Hank, who was too excited wit' his precious science to be much aware o' his surroundings.

Beside Mystique was a terrifying looking hulk o' a man…or maybe somet'ing else. His clothes were ragged, and de sleeves o' his jacket were torn off to reveal some truly impressive guns. Looking at de size o' him, it was a wonder dat de chair was managing to hold him up. His hair was long and shaggy, and his face was covered in what looked more like fur dan hair. He seemed completely disinterested in what was being said, instead staring at de table and cracking his neck, shoulders, hands, fingers…if it could pop he was determined to make it.

Beside him an' adding to de impression o' sheer size was a lil stringy guy. He sat awkwardly as though his body wasn' put together quite right an' couldn' seem to hold still to save his life. He looked almos' sick to me, practically green. Suddenly, his tongue flicked way out o' his mouth and dragged across his left eye. It took everyt'ing I had not to shudder. Dat's jus' plain disgusting, not to mention bad manners.

A gorgeous woman dressed in all red cringed next to him. She gave him a quick but hearty look o' disgust befoah turnin' back to listen to Hank. Dis woman was unmissably gorgeous; dark hair, full lips, fair complexion, an' her dark eyes held a vibrant spark o' intelligence. She was magnetic. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled casually, almos' like we were all here fo' de first day o' school an' she wanted to make nice wit' de uddah new kids. Her smile was brief and den she looked away.

De man beside her was de kind I hate ta see; tall, angular, handsome, even an element o' de tortured soul written on his uddahwise flawless face: competition. His eyes were de lightest blue I'd ever seen on a person, enough to make you wonder if he's wearing contacts. His hair was likewise a startlingly light blonde, almos' white…maybe even closer dan almos'. He looked like he belonged in a Calvin Klein ad, except dat somet'ing about his countenance was jus' plain unhappy. Couldn' put my finger on it, jus' seemed like someone ought to buy de man a drink.

Standing behind de lot o' dem was man who was…less dan competitive. He was huge, but not like de first guy…he was tubby. In fact I was impressed dat he could still stand wit' so many layers o' flab weighing him down. Seems like he should be on a motorized scooter or maybe a really big wheelbarrow. I guess his hair was either a dark blond or light brown; it was so close cropped to his head dat it was hard to say. His eyes were prolly brown, but ag'in s' hard to say fo' sure behind dose round cheeks. Worst o' all, he was in some kind o' leotard. I couldn' stomach looking at him long.

Beside him a willow o' a woman seemed to shrink into de shadows, or maybe s' jus' who she was standing next to. De tilt o' her head, cane and dark sunglasses inside tipped me off to de surprise dat she was blind. Her gray hair was short and in her blue suit she looked almos' dignified. I couldn' help but wonder what she was doing wit de rest o' de collection, like Queen Elizabeth providing a cameo for Fraggle Rock. As I was looking at her, her head turned suddenly toward me, almos' like she could see me. I was about to write her off as de creepiest t'ing I'd seen since "The Ring", when she suddenly walked to the door and nodded at me to follow.

I was confused o' course, and looked to de rest o' de X-men team fo' some kind o' confirmation, but dey were determined to look only at Hank. Since it was jus' Hank, Jean, Cyclops, and Storm down so far, I guess dey were unhappy about being outnumbered. De lady tapped her cane impatiently and I followed her out.

"Bonjour, madame. I'm-,"

"Remy, isn't it?"

I was a little surprised…apparently de Bruddahood really kept tabs on de X-team roster.

"Since I have not yet discovered a way to make such information gentle, please allow me to make myself plain. My name for your purposes is Destiny. I am a mutant who sees into the future, and I am a person who loves Rogue infinitely. That said, I have seen a vision of your future which is of the utmost urgency."

She stopped here ever so briefly. My head wanted to spin, but after all I'm from N'awlins: I've heard dis kind o' talk befo'. I waited fo' her to go on, but she seemed content to wait.

"S' dis de part where I give you a twenty to go on?"

She ignored me. "What are your feelings about Rogue?"

My stomach hit de floor. "What?"

"Do you love her?"

I stepped back, reeling, but I couldn' answer.

"I see your face…there is so much pain. Your hands are covered in blood. You are so sorry, so shocked. There is no malice, no satisfaction. You never meant to kill her."

"What are you talking about?! What is dis? Kill who?"

Suddenly she dropped her cane and grabbed my shoulders roughly. Normally dis would have made me defensive, but her face was wrenched in concern. "You get ahold of yourself! Listen to me and listen well: if you go to Antarctica, you will kill Rogue. If you do not care for her now, you will. You will not mean for it to happen, but mark my words she will be lying in your arms, broken and bloody. Please Remy, you must not go! Say you will not! You are the one who can make the vision disappear: I cannot bear to see it."

I shook her off less dan gently, and to my great surprise my hands shook fiercely and the room lit up wit' de glow from my eyes. "I don' know you, and you don' know me, but dere's a few t'ings I do know. You're wit de Bruddahood. You and de rest o' dose miscreants in dere hurt her ag'in and ag'in until she had no choice but to leave. I can' believe dat any o' you really care, and neither can she. I will not listen to you shout at me from such a pulpit dat I'm de one who's gon' do her harm. I would never hurt Rogue, not fo' any reason, an' I don' take kindly to anyone suggesting uddahwise."

"If it will soothe your anger to hurt me, Mr. Lebeau, then do so. I am not trying to compete with you. I have never considered myself blameless, but that does not mean I cannot care. You left her once yourself, in spite of your care. Something is coming, something we cannot expect. Just promise you will not go!"

Her accusation dealt annuddah blow. What is dis woman trying to do? How does she know dese t'ings? Under dat sightless gaze I couldn' seem to draw breath, like de air had grown too heavy. De room spun.

Jus' den, Rogue came around de corner, an' her eyes grew wide at de scene.

"What in tarnation is goin' on?! Remy, stop!"

I tried, dazed as I was, to pull all dat energy back inside, to quiet my eyes and mind, but I couldn'.

"I'm sorry…I didn' mean….I can'….Rogue I wouldn'….I'm sorry…"

To my surprise, Rogue shot a glare at Destiny, and den approached me. She put her hands on either side o' my face.

"It's ok Remy. Everything's fine. Irene's power gives her a bit of flair foah the dramatic. Take a deep breath."

I tried, but where normally dose green eyes would have made de world seem all right, de idea o' her death at my hands almos' made dem impossible to bear. Not ag'in. Not dis time. It had to stop somewhere. A person can' go through life destroyin' everyt'ing dey touch. I had to be capable o' doing good at some point. Please not her.

Her brow creased wit' concern. "You know Remy, Irene once told me that the only way Ah'd ever learn to control mah powers was if Ah wore a collar. Ah wore a dang collar foah a year and as you can see, nothin' ever came of it. Maybe it was a symbol, maybe it was a possible outcome of somethin' that never happened, who knows? Irene may see the future, but she can't tell you what it means, and she can't know if the future will change. All we can know foah shoah is the present. Well at the present we're here in the dang subbasement early in the mornin', safe and bored. When you calm down, we'll probably have a big, boring breakfast. Then we'll go do some boring training. Everything is ok."

I closed my eyes and drew a breath. The air seemed normal ag'in. The energy wavered ever so slightly, and I slowly started pulling it back. I nodded once to let her know I was ok. It was de best I could do.

She let go and turned on Destiny, who had magically become Irene. "Ah figured leavin' you losers high an' dry was a pretty clear cut message, but apparently you just didn't get it, so here it is again: stay outta mah business, away from mah friends, and outta mah life! Ah'm not ashamed, ah'm not scared, ah'm not conflicted, ah have no regrets. Every time you people show up you mess everything up."

"Rogue, I was not trying to upset him, or you. I saw something, something that made me very afraid. I do not wish to see such things, but I have no choice. I only told him what I saw, and I told the truth. I do not think the Brotherhood is the place you need to be. You are wise enough to make your own choices, and I have never tried to persuade you otherwise. I may love Raven, but I am not her. Do not convict us of the same crimes. However much you may disagree, however angry you become, you will not deter me from trying to protect you."

"Well foah not trying to upset anyone you do a hell of a job."

"That is a trait we share, my dear."

"In the future, when you're tryin' to protect me, why don't you talk to me about it, since ah'm wise enough to make mah own decisions and all?"

"Sometimes you are not the one with a decision to make."

"Of course not. When you can see the future ah guess you've got an answer foah everything."

"And if you want to be sure of the answers, you know they are always free to you."

Irene extended her hand, and Rogue practically snarled at her, "Ah am not gonna touch you, Irene."

"Then you'll have to trust me the old fashioned way."

Dey stood, staring at one annudah across de hallway, Rogue's posture was defiant while Destiny was patient and austere. Finally, she spoke. "This was not quite the reunion I had hoped for."

Rogue raised an eyebrow, but sighed. "Yeah. Ah wasn't sure you'd come at all. Ah was hopin' you would."

"Your mother does make it difficult for us to love one another."

"No, just difficult to see one another."

Rogue's attitude toward Irene was surprisingly gentle. It gave my mind a distraction as I carefully wound down from de adrenaline.

"Well if you'll promise to be a little nicer to mah friends, maybe we can start over."

"I have said my piece and it is out of my hands."

"Close enough." Rogue walked over to de door o' de conference room an' peeked inside. She rolled her eyes and walked back.

"Did they have to bring Creed?"

"Erik never misses an opportunity to make a statement."

"Ah'm guessin' Mystique is plannin' to make mah life hell?"

"Actually, I think she's a little wary of you. She doesn't know what to expect."

"Why not? She has you."

Irene just shrugged. "What happens between you and she should stay between the two of you. You're both too strong willed for a little old lady with a cane to influence."

"You always use that excuse to get out of givin' answers. What are we missin' out here anyway?"

Irene leveled her gaze back at me. "From the sound of it, I'd say some of you are headed for Antarctica."

18


	24. Chapter 24

_Queenofspades19 – Just breathe. It has to get worse before it can get better. I promise I have a plan. Deep breaths, it'll be ok. Just remember that I love these characters as much as you do. _

_Bologna121 – thank you so much for your kind review and gracious forgiveness of my slow updating. It was wonderful to hear from you, and I hope you're happy to see that I have not in fact waited a year to post a new update. Here's one today! I hope it lives up to your expectations. _

_Red Skippy – thank you for your continuing support and encouragement. It really does help me with this whole writing process more than I could ever say. Here is a new chapter in a more decent amount of time, and just to compensate its actually longer than normal. Hope you enjoy!_

Part 24 – Pandora

When ah came around the corner and saw Remy glowin', he looked angry to me. Ah hadn't had much experience with Remy bein' afraid, so ah didn't realize what ah was seeing. If ah'd known what Irene had said then, ah wouldn't have taken it so lightly. As it was, ah figured it was standard Brotherhood bull honky. Something along the lines of "she'll betray you" or "you don't belong with the X-men, catastrophe will occur if you remain: the only solution is to join us."

Which is why ah was utterly confused at how hard Remy seemed to take it. Admittedly, ah was a little distracted over the next few days. Irene was right. An expedition to Antarctica was imminent, and if ah thought our schedules were crazy befoah, they seemed like playschool now. But even still ah noticed Remy was takin' an awful lot of alone time. Moreover, ah noticed he was lookin' at me funny, like ah'd just done somethin' unspeakably cruel. He also absolutely refused to be in the same room with Irene.

Unfortunately most of the time things were too busy foah me to do anything about it. Hank and Cyclops were havin' big tiffs about the new Blackbird designs, the Professor was totally inaccessible, the Brotherhood were runnin' around causin' problems and keepin' tensions high, especially foah me.

Ah was walkin' down the hall on a summons from Ororo, checkin' mah notebook to figure out how ah could do this and still have time foah the trainin' session when Sabretooth bumped into me hard enough to knock me backwards and into a wall.

"Hey! Watch where yoah walkin', other people exist!"

He snorted, "All I see is a puny little turncoat. Hope we get to work together soon, I'm itchin' to give you a proper goodbye."

"Why Creed, ah had know idea you'd learned to put so many words together in order. Congratulations."

He snarled and leapt at me, but ah dodged and he buried his fist in the wall. Bobby groaned on the other side. "Why is it always my room?!" He came out into the hallway, breath frosty with irritation.

"Hey, monstro, cool it or -,"

"Or what? You'll run tell your daddy? Ha! Not an X-man here with the gumption to stand up to me on their own." He turned a pointed stare at me. "You haven't changed a bit, little girl. Just changed your colors."

Ah glared back at him, removing mah gloves slowly and deliberately. Ah know ah shoulda been the bigger person, but exhaustion and frustration had teamed up to make that insult impossible to ignore.

"Come on and try yoah luck again, see what happens."

"Rogue, come on, the Professor said we're supposed to keep it cool." Bobby pulled on mah arm half-heartedly.

Sabertooth's eyes darted back and forth between mah bare hands and then glared at me more forcefully. "You think I'm scared of you, little vampire?"

About that time, Mystique rounded the corner. "Oh for heaven's sake, stand down Victor. Rogue, I can see the passive nature of a true X-man is really blossoming." Victor doesn't listen to most people, but Mystique had a way with him. He'd thrown a temper tantrum one time and during the scrap she ripped his tongue out. He knew she wouldn't hold back: that was something he could respect.

Ah pulled my gloves back on violently. "Keep your dog on his leash, Mystique."

"Tell your precious Professor to do the same."

Ah opened mah mouth to give her a bitter dose, but Bobby grabbed mah arm and pulled me away.

"Well, good, that's settled, off to the danger room. See ya around!"

Once we got out of earshot he stopped. "Rogue what were you thinking? Can't you pick a fight with Toad outside my room? Why'd you have to pick the bloodthirsty big guy?"

"You coulda stayed in yoah room."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure, that's totally the superhero thing to do."

"What makes you think yoah a superhero?"

"Super powers, super good looking, super charming. Plus I just saved the poor damsel in distress outside my room. Don't know what your definition is, but it sounds like a superhero to me."

"Saved me?!"

"Nope, saved Creed."

Ah laughed in spite of mahself. Ah couldn't help but picture Creed in a long flowing gown at the mention of the word "damsel".

"Sorry Bobby. Guess ah shoulda handled that a little smoother."

"Hang out with me kid, the smoothness is bound to rub off."

Ah groaned. "You never know when to stop huh?"

"Hey, someone around here has to keep it fun. Scott and Jean and all the others have turned into real downers. Turn away from the dark side, Rogue. I mean seriously, even Gambit's been all morose lately."

Ah did a double take. Foah some reason, when Remy was around ah got so wrapped up in our tight, fierce, and sometimes passionate little world that ah forgot other people. It took me a bit by surprise that ah wasn't the only one aware of him. Particularly, that ah wasn't the only one who noticed him acting funny.

"You noticed that?"

"Dude, Gambit's usually awesome. He's like a gas fire or something. No matter how much water you dump on a situation, he just keeps running his mouth. And when he runs his mouth, it keeps me out of trouble for running mine. Ever since the Brotherhood got here, he's taken on this brooding crap. Who knew he'd turn out to be little Logan junior? He totally snapped at me in the danger room when I hit you with that ice spike. I mean sorry, but it's not like I meant to. He told me to 'stop goofing off and take dis seriously'. Really?? He's accusing _me_ of not taking things seriously? Lame!"

Bobby's impression of Remy's voice was sad. Very sad. But ah hadn't missed the exchange earlier, ah just hadn't thought much of it. Everyone gets snappy with Bobby from time to time. Still, if ah wasn't the only one who thought he was acting strange, maybe this was somethin' ah should be payin' more attention to.

"You know, ah thought it was just me, but he has been actin' strange lately. Maybe ah'll go talk to him."

"Well somebody ought to. And besides, he likes you."

Ah nearly choked. "What?"

Bobby raised an eyebrow at mah less than cool expression. "Um, did you want him to like you? I mean he didn't say anything, just seems to hang around you a lot. I figured you guys were friends and all. But I could ask him, if you wanted. I mean I don't think he's got a girlfriend or anything."

Ah felt mah face heat up to an unsightly and unhuman shade. Bobby started grinning triumphantly. "Oh this is just too good to be true. Seriously? Lebeau?!"

"Shut up Bobby! Ah'm just…embarrassed that you would think that…Remy doesn't really like me more than anybody else. And ah do NOT have a crush on him!"

"Oooh! Remy huh? I don't think he lets anyone else call him 'Remy'. You two must be close."

"Bobby shut UP!

"I mean I can see it. He seems to have a way with the ladies. Much like myself. You know, being able to charge things with his touch is quite an asset. I wonder if there's any recreational uses for that." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

Ah thought ah might have a seizure. Ah sort of hoped ah would. "Bobby, Ah swear on everything good and holy that if you don't drop this right now…"

Ah couldn't think of a threat good enough.

"I think the professor would frown on taking aggressive action against a teammate." He laughed at mah bewildered face. Ah couldn't summon an intimidating amount of rage when ah was so embarrassed. "Aw. You're kinda cute when you're all red. Don't worry doll face, your secret's safe with me. Run along now, go find your sweet _Remy_."

Why did ah not trust him? Ah hate mah life!

He turned away from me and ah called after him, half-heartedly, "There's nothin' goin' on between me and….Gambit."

He chortled as he turned the corner, but didn't look back. Suck. Ah thought briefly about followin' him and smotherin' to death with a pillow or somethin', but then he'd probably freeze the crap out of me, and then everyone would run in and want to know why and he'd blab his stupid mouth to the whole universe. Maybe ah could just sneak in and sew his lips shut…but then ah remembered that ah had about a million things on mah plate to do first. Patience.

Somethin' was up with Remy. It was up to me to find out what. Havin' a….boyfriend, was it?...was turnin' out to be a lot of work.

Ah didn't really mind. A little part of me that ah would never admit to was already excited about the prospect of seein' his face, was anxious for the little skip mah heart took when he stood too close, was eager for the thick happiness that descended on me when he was around.

Of course ah would never admit that.

Ah went to Ororo first. Ah went through the door and didn't even have a chance to speak befoah she jumped in.

"Rogue, glad you could make it. Hank has designed a new helmet apparatus for we fliers. We need to test it out in the wind simulator to make sure it has adequate ventilation, and that our peripheral vision is not too heavily impaired."

"Is there any way you could just hold off for a few minutes? Ah kinda need to be somewhere."

"We're both due for the combat training session in an hour, and Scott has been actively breathing down my neck. Can't it wait?"

"Ah'm not really sure. See, the training in an hour is mandatory, then ah'm supposed to meet up with Scott to run a simulation to make sure the jet modifications are working properly, then ah have mah study hall class, then its back to-,"

"What is it exactly you're trying to do? I don't see how this appointment is any more negotiable than the others. Or do you want to be blinded by gale force winds?"

Ah sighed. "Would it count if it was foah a friend?"

She groaned. "Can't I be your friend for the next hour?"

"Look, what ah have to do probably won't take an hour, maybe ah can just go and come right back?"

"Oh no you don't! You can either do this first and hope that we can get it done in less than an hour (which we're currently wasting in argument), or you can get permission from Scott. I am not serving as a buffer."

Ah cringed and debated, but in the end ah'd already gotten all excited about seein' Remy so ah decided to be brave. Ah picked up my communicator.

"Scott?"

Ah hoped he wouldn't answer, then ah could just say ah'd tried and go about mah business.

"Yes?" Shoot.

"Ah'm gonna take a few minutes out of helmet testing to handle a personal matter….if that's all right?" Ah hadn't meant to phrase it as a question, but in the end Scott is the leader, and ah thought maybe the deference would count foah somethin'.

"Last time you took a few minutes to handle a personal matter, you were incommunicado for half a day. We need the evaluation of those helmets so Hank will have time to make modifications. No dice."

"Look, ah'm really worried about someone, and ah just want a few minutes to go make sure they're ok. Twenty minutes?"

"Rogue, chances are anyone in the mansion is just as busy as you should be. It makes more sense to wait for the day to be over before you start an elaborate conversation."

Mah shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine. Understood."

"Rogue, I'm sorry. I'd like to give you the time but everyone's been asking. If I start giving you special permissions everyone will jump in. The professor's counting on us. I'm just trying to make sure we don't let him down, ok? If you and Storm are a few minutes late to the danger room this afternoon, I won't take it too personally, but seriously, we need you firing on all pistons."

In the end, ah wouldn't trade places with him. "Ok Scott. Ah'm doin' mah best."

"I know. It shows. Keep it up."

Storm beamed triumphantly and tossed me a hideous looking helmet. Ah stuck out mah tongue at her. Even defensive praise from Scott was always uplifting, but now ah was doubly frustrated. Whenever ah was upset, ah couldn't keep Remy away from me. Now that somethin' had him actin' strange, ah couldn't seem to get to the man to save mah life. Of course Scott was right, he was probably just as busy, but ah'm not a patient person.

We strapped on our helmets and flew through a simulation. It was nice to be able to fly without that cold wind in mah face, but the clear face of the helmet fogged up so easily it was nearly impossible to see. Moreover, we discovered that while peripheral vision was decent (when it wasn't clouded) neither of us could actually turn our heads with the dumb things on. Most unforgiveably, they looked awful.

The hour's progress was painfully slow, but finally the simulation ended.

"Ah don't know about you, Ro, but ah give 'em a 4 out of 10."

"Perfectly useless devices. I'll simply have to improve my control over such extreme elements."

"Ah hope you do, cause ah have no hope of improving mah control over such extreme hair."

Ah could see mah reflection in the Plexiglas face of the helmet ah was now holdin', and it wasn't pretty at all. Ro sighed at her own reflection.

"Pity. My hair did look particularly splendid today."

"Dressed up foah anyone in particular?" Ah teased.

She smiled good naturedly. Nothin' like a good flight to steady tempers. "Unfortunately no, but one can never be sure of what the day will bring. You must always be prepared. I would certainly hate for Prince Charming to walk in while I look like this."

She pointed to herself as she scrunched her face up in an unbecoming way. Ah laughed at her. "Well if ah run into him today, ah'll be sure to stall."

She looked at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry I kept you from your friend, Rogue. My temper has not been what I would like of late."

"We're all getting pretty stressed."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. When difficulty visits, it always brings a guest."

Ah headed back to mah room and tried to get ready foah the trainin' session: in layman's terms, ah went to fix mah hair. As usual, it was bein' stubborn, so ah just pulled it back into a tight ponytail to disguise the hazard. This wouldn't be the quiet moment of confidence ah had hoped to have, but at least it would be a little time with Remy.

When ah got to the danger room, he was already there. Ah flashed a smile a little brighter than ah meant to and he did smile back, but his was hard and less cheerful. Maybe ah was just payin' closer attention after mah talk with Bobby: ah shouldn't start overanalyzin' everything. Probably he was tired.

Logan took his usual place by me, and Jubilee flanked him. This new configuration was slowly becomin' familiar. Jean came in and announced the teams for the day. We broke off into teams of two or three each day and fought in the snow. One of the goals was to develop better fighting techniques that didn't require unnecessary force, and the other more prominent was to learn how to function better in this horrible climate. The computer assigned us randomly each day, so no two days were exactly the same. It also assigned team leaders, so we all had some more valuable field experience should Scott be incapacitated foah some reason. As much as we all razzed him, he was an amazing source of confidence foah us. It was harder to operate when he wasn't callin' the shots.

Today was a two team affair: me, Scott, Jubilee, Logan and Hank against Jean, Remy, Ororo, Bobby, and Colossus. Jean and I were leading our respective teams. Joy. Hank stepped out to start the computer while Jean and ah shook hands.

"Good luck Jean. May the best lady win."

"You too. It'll be good for these boys to listen to their betters for once." She smiled competitively while the boys rolled their eyes.

And then it began. The cold hit like a train; it was impossible not to suck in air. The improved suits were makin' it easier to handle, but it was still no walk in the park. Two minutes until engagement. Ah huddled mah team, tryin' to be professional.

"Ok, the other team has a big advantage in Storm. They won't be fightin' the climate as hard with her on their side. Cyclops, take her out first chance you get, Jubilee cover him. Logan, Jean will hesitate on her telepathy, favoring her telekinesis. She'll be able to deal a decent amount of damage, and ah need you to barrel through with yoah regeneration factor. With the leader out, they'll have a moment of weakness while they reorganize: that's an opportunity foah us to take offence and win it. In the meantime, Beast, ah want you to cover me while ah take down Colossus. Ah know ah'll be a target since ah'm the leader, but Colossus is the only real heavy hitter they've got. Without him they'll need a whole new strategy."

"What about Iceman and Gambit?" Jubilee asked, tryin' to keep focused.

"If we can slow them down, we can take 'em. If you and Cyclops get Storm out of the way, then you can keep Bobby melted and Gambit blind until we get to them. Otherwise people, when you get through yoah first assignment, pick a favorite and pin 'em down. Last thing: try to save Iceman's death blow foah Beast. Let's not forget that Iceman did try to make Beast a blond this week, we owe him his revenge."

They smiled at mah attempt at humor, and then the buzzer let us know we were out of time. It was a decent plan, or at least the best ah could come up with in two minutes flat. The problem with these exercises is that the other team always has a plan too.

Like ah suspected, they were keepin' Jean under wraps. That was fine, Logan could sniff her out with no trouble. Even now he slunk through the snow with sinuous movements, sure of his prey. Ah had hoped they would send Colossus out first to defer damage, but it was Bobby. Ah had also hoped they would send Storm out to clear the snowy path, but she was a no show. Cyclops and Jubilee were in reserve, waitin' on her. Bein' the leader and a target meant ah couldn't be the first one to charge out: it would leave mah team vulnerable. Ah smiled at Hank.

"Beast, would you do the honors? Ah'll catch up to ya."

He grinned, pleased with his charge. He rushed out to meet Bobby, who was constructin' an ice wall foah extra defense as quickly as he could. At least, that's what ah thought.

Hank leapt to the top of the wall and then handsprung higher in one deft movement, kickin' Bobby in the stomach with enough force to knock the wind out of him. He fell from his ice shoot doubled over, but rather than turnin' to face Hank, he fled towards us away from the wall. Hank had just turned to pursue him when the whole ice wall lit up a blinding and brilliant pink.

"Oh no…" ah lamented under mah breath. Hank's eyes went big foah just a second befoah the wall exploded, sendin' ice shards in every direction. The force knocked Hank backward through the snow in a blaze of glass daggers.

"Maximum damage sustained. Player eliminated." The computer said bluntly as Hank disappeared. Bobby jumped up and down in elation at the success, whoopin' and hollerin'. A red beam and a hail of fireworks blasted around him, meltin' his ice form. Logan jumped in, diverted from his original path by the explosion and pounded Bobby to the ground befoah putting an adamantium blade against his throat.

"Dangit! No fair three on-,"

"Maximum threat level exceeded. Player eliminated." Bobby was gone. Four on four.

A huge chunk of ice floated through the air to where Scott and Jubes were takin' cover, and they fled just befoah it dropped.

"Wolverine, take Jean down!" Ah called. He nodded in mah direction and then took off.

Leader or not, we needed a tank to divert attention. Ah launched mahself forward, but somethin' caught mah collar. Ah swung mahself up and over, shakin' 'em loose befoah throwin' a jab between the shoulder blades. He dodged.

"Just wondering how you enjoyed de light show, chere." Ah'd sorta learned mah lesson about lettin' Gambit talk, so ah swung mah leg around and landed a back kick in his side. He slid through the snow, takin' a card out on the way to retaliate with.

Much as ah'd like to hang out with the Cajun, ah had a different objective. Ah flew away from him, stayin' low but searchin' foah Piotr.

"Rogue!" Scott called from where he was duckin' and dodgin' some big Russian blows. Storm was tryin' to keep the climate under control, but Jubes was throwin' lights all around her and it was clearly makin' it hard to concentrate.

Ah plowed into Piotr, who slid back but stood his ground. The metal version of Colossus is quite heavy and he's one of the few people who can withstand a full blow from me. We kinda liked sparrin' foah this reason; neither of us had to hold back much. But just at present when time was of the essence, a fair fight just wasn't as much fun.

He grabbed mah arm, slung me down to the ground, and dragged me through the rocks and snow. It wasn't pleasant or dignified, but at least it served its purpose of distractin' from Scott. Unfortunately it distracted the wrong person.

Scott had turned back to Storm and wasn't payin' attention to the fault line developin' discreetly around him and Jubilee. Suddenly, a loud crunch shook the ground as the ice broke loose and started shiftin' and breakin' away.

Ah swept one leg under Colossus, but didn't stay long enough to see him hit the ground. The piece of ice holdin' my two ranged teammates was turnin' precariously, and threatenin' to flip them into the icy water below. Ah ran and grabbed both their wrists at the last moment, but was a moment too late. Scott's lower half slipped into the cold water.

"Maximum treat level exceeded. Player eliminated." He vanished from mah grasp. Ah had no time to mourn. Ah flew Jubilee in to the air, away from the treacherous ice.

"Think you can ground Storm?"

"Get me over there and we'll find out."

"Keep a hostage til Logan or ah get back to ya."

Ah flew her over in an instant, and launched her at Storm's back. She jumped and wrapped her arms around Storm's face, blocking her sight.

"Guess who?!" She teased. Ah couldn't help but laugh at her style. Without sight and control, Storm played safe rather than sorry. The climate went back to normal. Jubilee kept her as a hostage, just as ah'd instructed. Good. Now where the hell was Logan?

Ah didn't have much time to think about it cause Colossus grabbed mah ankles and dragged me face first against the ground again. What am ah? A broom? Ah flew up as hard as ah could, draggin' him with me (which was no small feat). He clung to mah ankles persistently as we rose higher and higher into the fierce wind, the ground becomin' a vague whiteness below.

"I do not think this strategy is good. You are leaving us with very poor options."

"Ah was thinkin' maybe you wouldn't be such a big fan of heights."

Just then, a pink missile streamed up, explodin' loudly in front of mah face. The boom was deafening and foah a split second ah lost both sight and concentration. The Russian and ah plummeted. Ah felt an invisible steel blanket take form around me, pinnin' me rigid and drivin' me down faster: damn you, Jean Gray.

Ah managed to look down and saw that we were very unfortunately fallin' towards the watery hole that had claimed Cyclops earlier. Since there was no more superstrength or flying ability available on mah team foah a rescue, ah accepted mah fate. At least the leadership change wouldn't be hard to figure out. Logan and Jubilee left. Looked like Colossus was goin' to be sacrificed to take me out. Poor Piotr.

But then ah heard a series of loud explosions and the invisible blanket lifted. Once the surprise wore off, ah pulled us back up with seconds to spare and landed on the snow safe and sound. Ah turned to face Colossus but then we were both distracted by the shouting.

"What de hell are you doing? Dis is just a trainin' simulation!"

"What was I doing? Gambit did you forget that you're on my team? Why would you turn on me like that?"

"Dat was unnecessary force and you know it! You coulda hurt somebody! It was already handled befoah you turned into lil' miss overkill!"

"What is your problem?! I had the situation perfectly under control!"

The shouting between Jean and Gambit was slowly escalating into screaming. We all looked on, bewildered and unsure of how to proceed.

"How dare you! I blinded de girl to get her back to de ground, not so you could use my powers to make some kinda leadership statement by freezin' her to death!"

"Remy she would have been removed as soon as she hit the water! This is training!"

"Yeah but we're training fo' de real t'ing, and yo' trying to put blood on my hands!"

Suddenly the scenario melted away. Scott came over the intercom. "Hey, everyone chill out and get out here."

Jean glared at Remy, and he glared back, his anger settin' his red eyes aflame. She recoiled a little bit. Apparently she hadn't seen him glow befoah. We started filin' out.

I fell in step beside Remy, reachin' out toward him as ah asked, "Are you ok?"

He yanked his arm away from me, glarin' down. "What does it look like?" he snapped.

Ah jumped at his unexpected hostility and he sighed, relenting. "Sorry." He didn't sound terribly sorry, just like he knew that's what he should say.

The heat outside the danger room was immediately uncomfortable in contrast to the cold we'd just been in. We all started shiverin' as we realized just how deeply the chill penetrated. Ah clenched mah jaw to keep mah teeth from rattlin'.

Remy tried again. "Sorry. Really. Are you hurt?"

Ah shook mah head, too unsure of him just at present to answer out loud. Scott called our attention befoah he could say anything else.

"Ok guys, first off I want to congratulate both our team leaders on a job well done. You both strategized well for the climate and your team, and adapted well to the unexpected. Also, there was a lot of good team interaction out there. Iceman, Gambit, the exploding wall really took the cake."

We just listened. We knew he was just getting through the pleasantries to address the tiff that ended the exercise early.

"Jean, the ice fault idea was a really creative way to integrate the environment into your strategy. Keep thinking like that, but it was also too extreme. In a real life scenario, that would have been a mortal attack. We would have no way of retrieving them from the water, and even if we could the temperature would give us precious little time to provide medical attention."

Jean crossed her arms, clearly planning a retribution foah him later. Gambit kept this face straight, but his posture gloated. "And Gambit, using aggressive force against your team and particularly your leader should be an absolute last resort. It's one thing to refuse orders, but another to actively work against the success of the team. We do encourage everyone to conduct themselves ethically and is good that you're aware of that, but perhaps a less dramatic approach would have been effective."

Remy glowered. Jean jerked her chin up petulantly. Scott sighed. "I also realized that everyone here is fighting stress and exhaustion. We're quite simply undermanned for the amount of work we need to do. But I need everyone to stay on board 100%. For that reason, I think everyone could use some time off. We're not going to accomplish anything if we're at each others throats. So let's just call it an early night tonight. I don't know about you guys, but I plan to get some extra sleep just as soon as Jean's done yelling at me."

Scott gave me a meaningful look, and ah smiled gratefully. Jean raised an eyebrow at his blatant announcement, but everyone was jazzed at the idea of a night off so she couldn't get too mad. We got ready to merrily disperse.

"Do keep in mind that tomorrow is integration training with the Brotherhood. It's going to be hell, so use this time wisely."

Scott's jaw tightened at the mere mention of our nare-do-well houseguests. We all shuddered and grumbled respectively, then rushed out the door to make use of a rare and wonderful night off. Remy was one of the first out the door. Ah was nearly miffed, but then figured he was probably just tryin' to get away from Jean in a hurry.

"Hey, wait up!"

Remy didn't look back, but slowed his place a hair. Ah caught up. "So, what do ya have in mind foah a few blessed hours of free time?"

"Je ne sais pas. Probably catch up on my beauty rest." He smiled jovially, tryin' to be light, but ah couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"Right now?"

"Oui. Like Scott said, I could use some quiet time to unwind."

Ah nodded. Normally ah didn't have to wait long foah an invitation from Remy. Ah was startin' to feel a little intrusive. Ah started awkwardly, "You know, maybe ah could help? We could…watch a movie, or play some cards. Ah still owe you a back rub you know." Ah tried to make mah smile alluring, but he didn't look over.

"T'anks but I t'ink I can manage on my own. Honestly I could use de time to catch up on some personal business."

"Personal business?" Ah pressed.

"You know, accounts, correspondence, supplies, personal hygiene, all dose kinds o' t'ings." His non-chalance made me feel pathetic. Here ah'd been pinin' after him all day, and he didn't seem to have any particular desire foah mah company.

Or maybe he was a regular person who was tired, and ah was actin' like a love sick puppy. Ah didn't want to seem immature, so ah tried to smile and keep mah voice light and dejection free.

"Ok, well have fun. Ah'll probably see what Logan's up to. Thanks foah savin' me today by the way. Very smooth."

"Savin' you?!" he turned on me, inexplicably upset again. Foah the second time today, ah jumped at his tone. "I was de one who put you in danger in de first place! If you hadn't started falling…"

"Um, Remy? It was a simulation. Ah'm fine. Ah kicked you earlier, remember? Scott actually fell in the water, and he's ok. Really, ah'm pretty ok with the whole thing, and there's not a scratch on me."

"I know it was a simulation! Why does everyone keep saying dat? Mon dieu, does everyone t'ink I'm stupid? De point is it's supposed to train us fo' de real t'ing! If it had been de real t'ing, it would have been my fault, even if it wasn't my intent to…"

His eyes darted down the hallway, where Bobby and Jubilee openly stared. Bobby coughed and started lookin' at the ceiling, and Jubilee turned away, whistlin' innocently. Ah hate you, Bobby Drake. There will be payback foah that, if it's the last thing ah do.

Ah flushed beet red, wonderin' if he'd filled Jubes in on what he suspected earlier. Remy caught it.

"I'm embarrassing you. I'm sorry."

"No…its not you."

He laughed darkly, "Is dere someone standing here yelling at you dat I don't know about?"

"Look its not you ok? It's something that happened earlier."

He rolled his eyes. "Right." He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "Sorry again, Rogue. S' not yo' fault. I'm just…tired I guess. I should probably just go to bed befo' I can cause any more ruckus."

Ah twisted mah fingers, debating. Ah didn't want him to walk away feelin' like this. And selfishly, ah didn't know when ah'd have another chance to spend any time with him. Ah didn't want to seem clingy, but…

"Could we maybe talk? Just foah a few minutes? Not in this hallway?"

"I don't want to keep taking my frustration out on you."

"Then don't. Just talk to me?"

He sighed and walked on ahead of me. Ah took that as a yes and followed him to his room. He walked in and shrugged out of his jacket without enthusiasm and sat in the chair, eyes wandering the room and not really focusin' on me.

Ah didn't know if ah should sit on the bed, so ah just leaned against the wall with mah hands behind mah back. Ah took a little too long tryin' to phrase what ah wanted to say, and so he looked up at me speculatively.

"T'ought you had somet'ing on yo' mind."

Ah shifted mah weight. "Yeah."

He watched me, interest flickerin' briefly behind his brooding expression. "Well?"

Ah needed confidence. He wasn't gonna tell me anything so long as ah sat here all jumpy, so ah stalled. "Ah'm not shoah ah know the right thing to say."

"De truth is usually in dat category."

"That's not really the issue. It's arranging the truth in such a way as to not strike a nerve."

His mouth pressed into a hard line. "Guess I deserve dat. Well, spit it out. Gambit is on his best behavior now."

He flashed a gracious smile, but the use of third person hadn't escaped mah notice. "That's good news, but still ah think ah'd rather wait and talk to Remy."

He chuckled. "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. You sho' are persnickety, chere."

Ah smiled, feelin' encouraged. "Ah'm not bein' persnickety right now. Ah'm bein' perceptive."

His look darkened again. "Not very."

Ah sighed. "See? This is why ah have to chose mah words carefully."

Mah eyes traced the pattern on the carpet and the silence hung towards the point of awkwardness.

Finally he spoke again, givin' me no quarter. "Why don't you just skip de daily jumble and say whatever you need to say? Like I said befo', I'm very tired, and until I get some rest dere's very little chance I'm going to progress socially."

Ah gave up on the idea of findin' some steady ground, and instead decided maybe the pretense of confidence would be enough. Ah smiled as brightly as ah could manage and went to sit in closer physical proximity on the floor across from his chair. Ah stretched mah legs in front of me and leaned back on mah arms so ah could look at him comfortably. It was meant to look casual.

He watched me almost like he was suspicious. Ah swallowed hard and glued that smile to mah face.

"It's really pretty simple, almost stupid foah this level of build up. Ah guess ah'm just a little worried about ya and ah'm hopin' to get to the bottom of it."

He raised an eyebrow. "What have I done dat has you so worried?"

"Ah'd like to quote a good friend of mine and say 'it's not what yo' doin', it's what yo' not doin'', but actually its both."

He smirked. "Would it help if I said dere's no reason to worry and reminded you dat I'm very tired?"

Ah considered it because ah wondered if it would please him if ah let somethin' go foah once, but quickly remembered that ah'm incapable.

"Nope."

"Any chance you might put dis off to a time when I'm halfway conscious?"

Ah might not have a thief's instincts, but ah recognized this maneuver as a dodge. Ah shook mah head slowly.

He looked away again. "Well den, where would you like to start so we can get dis over wit'?"

Ah thought about that, still uncertain of what his mood was or how it related to me. Ah supposed that was as good a place to start as any. "Why don't we start at the most obvious place?"

"Which is?"

"Have ah done somethin' wrong?"

"Why would you t'ink dat?" His eyes flickered back down to me.

"You know, it's very annoyin' when people answer a question with a question."

He lowered his eyebrows. "No, you didn't."

Ah considered that briefly. "Would you tell me if ah had?"

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Still feeling a little distrustful, Rogue?"

"No. Ah just don't want you sparin' mah feelin's if somethin's botherin' you this much."

"I repeat: you haven't done anything wrong."

Ah felt a small tremor of temper and let it leak. "You don't have to make this hard on me."

"I'm not trying to."

"Yes you are!"

"Yo' de one determined to do dis. I'm trying to go to sleep. Of de two o' us, yo' de one bein' difficult."

Ah would have jumped in to bicker if there had been a hint of ire or amusement in his voice, but his tone was matter of fact. Again, if ah couldn't feel confident, ah was gonna fake it. Ah plastered mah smile back on.

"If ah wasn't difficult, how could you be sure it was really me?"

He sighed, exasperated. "Please chere, can't we do dis annudah time?"

"Ah just…want to help."

He looked down at me, weighin' his words. "I don't know if you can…right now."

That stung. Walk it off, soldier. Ah swallowed down the disappointment, clingin' to mah frail smile. "Can't hurt to let a girl try. Ah'm a good listener, if ya wanna talk. Ah can also come up with a creative distraction if yoah in the mood to be distracted, or ah could-,"

"Rogue, stop." He looked down at me again, his face unsure and searching. Ah chewed mah bottom lip in spit of mahself.

His voice gentler when he continued. "Look, everyt'ing is ok. I promise I'll talk to you and let you cheer me up, but right now I really jus' wan' to sleep. I need to sort t'ings out in my head, and I can' do dat right now. I'm sorry, I know you wan' me to, and I don' wan' you to worry, but…not tonight."

Ah started graspin' at straws. His words were meant to soothe me, but instead they made me very nervous. Ah had to focus to keep mah voice from bein' shrill.

"Can't ah even…stay with you foah a while? You can sleep or do whatever you want to. Ah could just keep you company. Sometimes it's easier to deal with things when-,"

He smiled at me apologetically. Ah tried to smile back resignedly, and stood up to leave with as much dignity as ah could muster.

He stood and caught my wrist. "Rogue?" His voice sounded raw.

Ah tried to muster up as much of a brave face as ah had left. When ah turned, his face was open foah the first time since ah walked in.

He pulled me towards him, wrappin' his arms around mah waist in a gentle embrace. His gaze was earnest. "You really didn't do anyt'ing wrong."

His attempts at reassurance had the opposite effect. Mah breath came quicker. "But apparently ah didn't do anything right either."

He put a hand gently to the side of mah face. "No, no, petit. Don' do dis. I didn' mean to make you t'ink-,"

"INTRUDERS DETECTED. SECTOR 4A. INTRUDERS DETECTED."

The robotic voice made us both jump. Our eyes met foah a moment as realization set in. We had no more time foah pressin' this matter. We broke our embrace and headed out the window to join the rest of the team on the front lawn, which corresponded to the breached sector classification.

Logan was already tearin' out across the lawn, and it wasn't long befoah Storm landed in step with him. Fliers are always the first ones on the scene. And Logan. Logan is first anywhere. Maybe its part of his mutation.

More X-men came out the front door and others through windows until we had a solid line. Scott signaled us to form three groups in order to flank from both sides. They sure picked the wrong dang day to mess with this team: we were already grumpy. Even Hank had fixed his expression into an impressive scowl.

Dark shapes rose out of the shadows on the lawn. They were unidentifiable at this distance, but Scott addressed them.

"Stop where you are and identify yourselves, or we will take aggressive action."

The lumbering shadows halted, taking Scott at his word. There's a shocker.

"We have a right to be where our leader is." A gruff female voice called.

"We are not denying you entrance. We have a right to know who you are and what business you have."

"You of all people should understand that identity can be a most valuable asset. We will not divulge it freely." The voice answered challengingly

"Then you risk the safety of your party. Our job is to protect this residence and its inhabitants. We are very good at it."

"Perhaps if you would admit us to advance enough to show ourselves, that our leader may recognize and acknowledge that our presence is legitimate?"

Scott was quiet foah a moment, considering. "Come forward slowly."

The shadows progressed towards us at a conservative speed. The shapes began to take a more concrete form, and then the glare from a security light revealed them.

The first form was slight, with shortened arms and legs suggestin' that he wasn't fully grown: childlike. His face was a startling green, shiny as though wet. He had rounded, lidless eyes that were disconcerting, but his mouth was curved upward into a sheepish and rascally grin as he loped forward.

The second was a tall, solid looking man. His skin was grey and smooth, his body hairless. Yet his structure produced strange ridges under his skin, giving him a supernatural appearance like a swamp monster or alien from a movie. His hard eyes were a glazed yellow color, but they way they danced around made it obvious that his vision didn't suffer.

The two men flanked the female, ah guess she was the one who had been talkin' this whole time, and it was obvious that she was the leader. Her face wasn't unattractive, just intimidatingly aggressive. A startling magenta shade of hair was close cropped to her head, and her tattered clothes were all the more pulverized by the ivory spikes jutting out of her back. She kept her hands at the ready, both clutching sharp objects ah couldn't quite make out.

Storm stepped up, rolling her eyes. "For heaven's sake, Marrow, must you be so dramatic? You had the entire estate on red alert. What could be so terribly important?"

Marrow sneered. "I will do what I think is necessary for our people's safety, as I'm sure _dear leader_ would prefer. We needed to see you. We would not risk daylight exposure, or let your pretty friends take pictures of us with their precious cameras."

When she said "pretty friends" she looked us all over, letting her eyes spit defiant fire at us individually. She was letting us know that it didn't matter where she was, or who we were: she was in charge. But as soon as her eyes passed over me, her face contorted in obvious shock.

She drew in a sharp breath as her jaw dropped in horror. "YOU!"

She lobbed one of the sharp objects with deadly accuracy. Ah stepped in front of it and let it shatter harmlessly against mah chest, but it more due to autopilot than any real thought. The change came too quickly foah me to make sense of it.

The tension level sprang back up as everyone took an offensive position and whipped out weapons of choice.

The tall grey mean let out a blood curdling growl. "You would shelter HIM??" His voice was a ragged with unfathomable rage.

The source of their sudden alarm dawned on me at last: Remy. Ah turned to look at him, but all ah saw was the last glimpse of his leather jacket as it disappeared inside the door.

The grey man dove to follow him and was brought up short by Logan. Scott had one hand on his visor dial and the other thrust in front of him, tryin' to keep the situation in hand.

"Hey! HEY! Calm down! What's going on here? What's the problem? Somebody go after Gambit!"

Ah took off. Ah heard the shoutin' continue behind me, but ah was too confused to make much sense of it. Why did these people hate Remy so passionately? And why had he run away?

One word from the skirmish behind chased me toward mah destination. The word meant nothing to me, and had no context here.

"MURDERER!!!"

24


	25. Chapter 25

Part 25: Point of No Return

I knew dat my body was racing, driven by adrenaline to speeds normally beyond my reach, but I felt like I was moving in slow motion.

My t'oughts were a voiceless scream, a chaos o' memories and panic. De world took on a shifting red hue, like firelight cast onto de walls, like hell creeping out into my reality. I was vaguely aware dat de crimson light was coming from me, from my eyes. I couldn't care.

De rush had me gasping fo' air, even though I hadn't run far. My pulse thundering in my ears was de only sound I was aware of as de pressure o' my blood pumping thickly through my veins became painful. De lines in the hallway wavered like a mirage.

I t'ought I had forgotten how to feel dis way. I had been running from dis moment dat defines who I am fo' so long I had foolishly believed it was too far behind me to ever catch up. Here I was again, doing de only t'ing I knew to do.

You can never run away from yo'self. I knew dis, but I couldn' stop myself from trying, from pushing my legs faster. I was fifteen again, leaving bloody footprints on the stone floor o' de Morlock camp. I was seventeen, running through de woods o' de bayou as though I could escape de death stare o' my cousin, Etienne, de image dat danced behind my eyes every time I closed dem. I was twenty and Belle's hysterical shrieks haunted my steps as I fled from her, from Julien, from my life, from myself. All dese t'ings I had run from: I had never succeeded at putting one step o' distance between us. Dey chased me from inside, part o' me.

De door was an unacceptable barrier and delay to my possessed flight. I slung a card ahead o' me, blasting it in. De explosion must have been loud: de floor shook. I didn' hear it. De smoke cringed away from me as I moved through it like wind.

I flew through my dresser, stuffing letters from Henri into my pockets along wit' a pack a cigarettes and a deck o' playing cards. My jacket was still lying across de bed, and I slung it up and around my shoulders. I flew to de closet next, yankin' de door so hard it broke free o' one o' de hinges. I would leave most o' my belongings. I'd acquire new ones. I needed to travel light and fast.

A hand touched my shoulder. I jumped out o' my skin, turnin' in one movement to knock de intruder away from me. I grabbed de chair from de desk, charging it fully and turning to face my assailant.

Her green eyes grew wide as she took me in. Fo' a moment, I had no idea who I was looking at, and I didn' care. I snarled like a cornered animal. After all, I was one.

"Remy."

Her voice wasn't nearly as alarmed as her face was. Merde.

De window was open, and I lobbed de chair through it. I had no hope o' recalling de charge, frantic as I was. It exploded in mid-air and only dust drifted down to de ground.

De urge to run made it nearly impossible to stop. Holding here in deliberation made my muscles twitch impatiently and my panic heighten. Why couldn't I keep moving? What had halted my escape?

Dis girl. Dis girl had to be removed. I had no choice. I had to go.

"Get out o'here! Get out Rogue!"

Her eyes grew wider, and she flinched at the volume o' my voice.

I took two hasty steps toward her, leaning. "Are you deaf? I tol' you to leave!"

She leaned away from me, but made no move to follow my orders. I couldn' worry about her anymore.

"Fine! Stand dere! But stay out o' my way!"

My attention left her and went back to de closet. I had to have my staff. None o' de clothes could come. De cash out o' de lock box. Time was running out.

Her voice came again. "Remy."

I ignored her. Where was my cell phone? Could I leave it? No, I couldn' risk anyone taking my calls. Too much information at stake. I rummaged through de pockets o' my jackets and pants.

Under my nose de whole time! Dere were hundreds o' t'ousands o' places de Morlocks could have been. Why did it have to be New York? Why my new home? Where was my head, t'inking dat I ever had a chance anywhere?

"Remy, what are you doin?"

Her voice kept interrupting my t'oughts. I answered. "What does it look like? Put two and two togeddah! I don' have time to spell it out!"

I started shoving my t'ings into a much abused rucksack. My hands fumbled in deir haste, and I dropped somet'ing, stumbling to pick it up wit' a curse.

"Yoah leavin'?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

I shouted, perturbed and struggling to keep my mind away from her. "Yes! And in case you haven't figured it out yet, I don' have time to answer a hundred stupid questions!"

I continued to ransack de room dat had been mine dese many months. I would not t'ink o' dis girl. I would not.

"What do ah need to bring?"

My eyes jumped over to her face. She had squared her jaw off determinedly, her fists clenched at her sides. My teeth ground togeddah painfully.

She was dead. Sure as she stood befo' me. Dat's what I didn' want to see: de death written all over her face like a mask dat was only visible to me. As long as I was here, death was gon' stalk her steps. It was clear now: she was de price fo' all my wrongdoing.

Irene had said Antarctica, but in my heart I knew dat it wasn't de setting, it was me. Even if I stayed behind, it would only delay what was destined to happen. I was death, and it was de only gift I had to offer. Did I imagine fo' one second dat it would ever change? Dat I would have any more choice in her end dan in all de uddahs? My choice was not de weapon, de only t'ing necessary to create tragedy was my presence.

If Rogue's life was de price o' escaping my demons, it was too high. I would carry dem, de memories, de pain, de guilt, de evil…I would run and run and never stop…if it meant she would stay safe.

De noose was drawing tight around her neck, my past almost tangible. Every second I lingered was one less she had to live. I had to leave. I had to go now.

"You are not coming. You are staying here, where you belong."

She drew a ragged breath. "Ah'm not gonna let you face this by yoahself. You can't make me stay."

I stalked over to her, glaring down. "You will not be able to keep track of me. Yo' not fast enough. So go wherever you like, but you WILL NOT come wit' me."

I tried to move around her. She stepped in my path. My threatening glower was not a bluff. I would make her stay if I had to.

"When are you comin' back?"

I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away from me roughly. "Did I say I was coming back?"

She drew in a sharp breath and held it. "Ah don't understand. What are you sayin'?"

I called on my t'ief. He would have de strength and intelligence to get dis done wit' de way it needed to be done. De part o' me dat was real was too shattered to be trusted.

"Not very quick tonight are you? Don't worry, you'll figure it out eventually."

I stalked past her, but she grabbed my coat lapels and dragged me back into de room.

I twisted free o' her grip, and yelled at her wit'out mercy, "Don' touch me!!"

She recoiled, like I knew she would. I rejected the compulsion to take it back, to take her and make it all right. I forced a pitiless smirk onto my face.

"Still such a fragile girl? You know one o' dese days you really should grow out o' dat. Dis should feel perfectly normal by now."

She started taking quick, shaky breaths, opening her mouth twice to speak and failing.

Finally, she managed to give sound to her t'oughts. "Yoah….leaving…..me?"

Don't break. Don't break Remy. Do de right t'ing. Do it jus' dis once. "Dere's no need to be so dramatic. Act like a normal woman and conserve yo' dignity. Let's jus' say 'it was fun while it lasted.' I was hoping to play our little game longer, but unfortunately I got mo' important t'ings to do, an' I can' put dem off any longer."

Her face grew so pale I t'ought fo' a moment she might be sick. Her shoulders hunched forward, as though her frame had jus' lost de strength to hold her up. My breath faltered, but I forced my face to conceal me.

"Wh-what did ah do? Please, just tell me what ah did?"

I swallowed hard and hoped she didn' see. "Don' you see? You did everyt'ing you could. It wasn' enough."

Please let me go, Rogue. Please don' make me say it.

"That's not true. Ah haven't done everythin'. Not yet. But ah can…ah will. Ah can do better. Ah can be what you need me to be, just tell me what it is."

I punched de wall, hoping de throb o' my knuckles would keep me focused. "Let me rephrase den: you aren't enough. Yo' not what I wan'. I t'ought you were, but as we got closer I had my doubts. Tonight sealed it. If what I felt fo' you was real, it wouldn' be easy to leave. But it is. I only do what I want, what makes me happy. Leaving is what I wan' to do now. Sorry."

Her face contorted in disbelief and pain, her arms wrapping around her torso. I turned and stalked out o' de room, begging my legs to be fast enough to get me out befo' it came crashing down on me

I had nearly made it to de stairs when she soared over my head and planted her feet in front o' me, blocking my path. Her face was defiant an' angry.

"Ah don't believe you. This has nothin' to do with me, with us. This is somethin' else. You WILL tell me what is goin' on."

Her face was holding all her strength. Her hands were shaking, and I could see it. I shoved her out o' de way and continued toward de garage. Run, run!

People were watching us, but dey didn' dare intervene. De monster mus' have been showing on my face. I was barely aware o' dem, too distracted by de shadow I knew was still following me.

I felt like someone was tearing a hole through me. She was de one. De one in a million. De one who should not have existed, not fo' me. If I didn' know it befo' I knew it now, now when I had to put de separation between us forever. Now when I had to shut her out and do de very t'ing dat I had never meant to: hurt her.

Hurt was a temporary word, I reminded myself. Hurt was somet'ing dat healed. Death was permanent. Dere was no choice. I would do what I had to do.

I was morbidly t'ankful to Irene. My coldness over de past few days would help me substantiate my ludicrous claims dat I didn' care. I was t'ankful to de Morlocks, fo' giving me dat final shred o' evidence, dat final push dat I needed to protect Rogue, even though I was terrified o' being wit'out her.

Dese would be my last memories wit' her, watchin' her pain. Fin'ly I was t'ankful fo' Rogue's shell, de one I had so viciously assaulted every day since I'd first met her. Her pride and reserve would make dis easier on me. She would try to hide as much from me as she could. I hoped it would be enough. I had to get away from dis place. I had to be able to leave her. De Morlocks already had my fam'ly pocketed, I couldn' let dem use me against her, too. I had no more pretenses left to offer.

She was following me, calling my name. I ignored her. I knew what needed to be done, but I knew I was only human. I could only take so much o' her asking me to do de very t'ing I wanted mos' in de world.

De garage smelled like smoke and gasoline. I went over to de bike, tossing my rucksack into de luggage compartment befo' heading over to de rack to find de keys.

She grabbed my wrist. I turned toward her grimacing. She would t'ink it was anger, even though it wasn'.

Her white face was wit'out even a trace o' guise. It was completely open and impossible to misinterpret. Her eyes were de most unbelievable shade o' green. How could anyone be so beautiful? It wasn't fair.

I forced my voice to be hard. "Let go o' me, Rogue."

She shook her head quickly, desperately. "Ah can't."

Her voice broke. No. Please no.

Her eyes filled and de tears spilled over, running down her cheeks in agonizing torrents. In all dis time, I had never seen de girl cry. I had watched her be tortured by Sinister. I had watched her stand up to de team when dey hated her, distrusted her. I had watched her confront de mother who had never loved her. I had seen de pain dance perilously close to de surface, but she had always choked it back through sheer force o' will. She kept it to herself, shoved it down an' held it dere. Why wasn' she doing dat now?

Her body shook wit' de force o' her sobs, and her face was unbearable to me. She was choking, trying to draw breaths but her lungs wouldn' cooperate. Her face grew red as de violent pain thrashed its way out o' her eyes. It was hard to undahstand her words as dey tumbled broken from her lips.

"Please don't go. Oh, god, please don't do this!"

I froze, unable to move or speak. Her pain cried out to me in a way that was wholly unfamiliar. I couldn' stand it, it had to be stopped, it was intolerable. I would give anyt'ing to make it stop.

But de panic inside me still knew dat I couldn'. I couldn' stop it. I had to make it worse. She had to let go. De compulsions wrestled in me, drawing blood from one annuddah and rooting me to de spot, unable to take action. I t'ought I may split in two.

She kept hold o' my wrist, and grabbed a tight fistful o' my jacket in de uddah. Her tormented eyes bored into me, desperate fo' me to understand her, desperate to make an impact.

"Ya can't go because…ah love you, Remy. Ah love you so much. Whatever's wrong, ah can fix it. Ah have to fix it. Ah need you, and ah can't let you go!"

Her voice broke down again into gasping sobs, and if she said anyt'ing after dat I coudln' make it out. She watched my face, engrossed and desperate to see some response. I felt like I was made o'stone. She was standing so close to me, familiar, beautiful, and everyt'ing I ever wanted. Her tears glittered cruelly against her cheeks, like ice. Her hands, her lips…her whole body was trembling. I could not move.

My legs still commanded me to run, demanded that I go while dere was time to escape. My hands begged me to touch her, to reach out and pull her closer, to greedily devour everyt'ing about her. My heart…my heart was broken. It knew dat it would never beat wit'out her, and reminded me dat whatever I chose, I would lose her. Dere was no way to be selfish. My mind was drowned out in de maelstrom, silent against de crashing waves.

She loved me.

But how could she? I had never tol' her who I was. I had never intended to. Could she love somet'ing she couldn' undahstand?

"_She'd leave if she knew…you know she'd leave if she knew."_ My mind repeated its mantra in a hollow and merciless tone. If I could leave me behind, I who knew de whole truth, I would. In a heartbeat.

She was still watching me, and I still couldn' move. We were rooted dere, to dat moment, and everyt'ing balanced on de edge o' a knife. I was dat knife. I was left to me to make a decision, and I jus' couldn'. I knew dat it was right protect her, but de anguish in her eyes…how could dat be right?

She loved me. I loved her more, but how could I prove it? If not to her, to myself?

She took my silence as indifference. Defeat came over her face, crushing what little light was left. Maybe she would leave now. Maybe if she left, dis decision would be easier to make. Maybe de right t'ing would become obvious again, like it had been befo' de tears…befo' I knew she loved me.

She let go o' me. De sobs came all de harder, as she backed slowly away from me, step by step. I was gone, she was sure o' it. De agony o' dat knowledge was plain, but she refused to look away. She knew it was de last time she would see me, and she didn' wan' it to be over.

Her feet betrayed her. She stumbled on the step up to the door, and fell wit' a thud on the stoop. She made no move to get up, pulling her knees up to her chest an' bowing her head into dem, hiding from me at last.

"Just go. Just go."

I watched her. I felt like I was slowly burning to death, but dere was no way fo' me to move out o' de fire. How could I live wit' dis as de final picture o' de woman who had claimed so much o' me? Hadn't I been de one fighting fo' her heart? And now dat I had it, I had chewed it up and spit it out like it was not'ing more dan a worthless toy. I could go now. I knew she wouldn' follow me. But I couldn' move.

Suddenly, a voice I did not expect rang through de storm raging inside me.

"_If you do to her what you've done to all the other girls…it will destroy her."_

It was Logan's voice, Logan's words. Dese were de words he had used to bring all my carefully placed deceptions crashing down around me. At de time it made me feel dere was a wall between me an' Rogue dat would always separate us. It made me t'ink dat we were never meant to be togeddah, dat we were all wrong.

Standing in de elevator wit' Logan and de naked truth o' my unworthiness, I had said de only t'ing I could t'ink to say.

"_I can' be wit'out her."_

My mind had recoiled against de only solution I had been able to t'ink of at de time: leaving her alone. De t'ought o' living wit'out her smile, her voice, her touch…living wit'out her was somet'ing I refused to consider. De pain had been too great.

As I stood here, watching her shoulders shake, I was certain dat de very pain I hadn't been able to bear was de pain racking her body now. If I stayed, I would kill her. If I left, I would destroy her. Which was worse?

Maybe if I had done de right t'ing when Logan made me t'ink o' it, t'ings would be diff'rent. Maybe if Irene had come sooner, or de Morlocks had found me in New Orleans. A thousand uddah alternate destinies, each mo' likely dan de one I was caught up in now, would have drawn us apart befo' it had come to dis. Befo' she had loved me. But dey had failed, and we were here now. De pain I had spared myself, de pain I had never even t'ought of concretely was de pain I was passing on to Rogue now.

I could not t'ink o' right and wrong, should and shouldn'. It became very quickly a matter o' can and can't.

I couldn't leave her like dis. It was not possible.

I dove to her, pulling her into my arms.

"I'm sorry, Rogue, I'm sorry. Shhh."

She kept crying, unable to stop, but she threw her arms around me, holding so tight it hurt. I kissed her hair, an' de vision o' her blurred befo' my eyes. I realized wit' very little surprise dat dere were tears in dem.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I won' leave you." De words were bitter in my mouth, but dey were true.

Her face was buried in de neck o' my jacket, her hands tightly bound in de fabric. I stroked her back, trying to soothe her. I pulled her into my lap, and inside my jacket wit' me. I knew it wasn' cold dat caused her to shake, but it was all I knew to do to help her stop. And I wanted her as close to me as she could possibly be. Moments ago dis was an impossibility. I hadn' left, but I still felt like I had lost her, and now she was back.

She was here in my arms, and I was complete. She was everyt'ing in me dat was good, dat was worth saving, but she couldn' erase everyt'ing about me dat was none o' dose t'ings. De pain and panic and dread remained, charging through my system like poison, tainting what joy I could find in our reunion.

What was I gon' do? I couldn' leave her, and I couldn' tell her de truth. De Morlocks were here. Irene said dat I would cause Rogue's death, like I had caused so many uddahs.

She was trying to stop, I could hear it, but she wasn' having much luck. I realized vaguely dat we were well wit'in hearing range. De garage door was wide open. She might not care jus' at de moment, but she'd eventually be ashamed o' having such an extreme moment o' weakness wit' an audience.

"Can I move you?" I whispered gently.

She nodded wit'out showing her face. She had no intention o' letting go of me, so I had no choice. I put one arm behind her knees and de uddah around her shoulders, lifting her. She clung to my neck as I walked us back into de mansion, and did not object.

Some o' de X-men were still out on de lawn, but some had filtered back into de house. I felt de questions waiting behind de stares, but either my face or Rogue's condition kept anyone from speaking to us as I climbed de stairs. I knew what judgment awaited me, but fo' now it would have to wait.

I had blown de door off my room, I remembered. I would take her to her room. I took her and tried to gently place her on de bed, but she still wouldn' let go. I sat wit' her. She had stopped crying, but her breath still came in choking gasps, out o' control. I stroked her hair, waiting.

Finally, I could take her anguished silence no more. "Say somet'ing. Please."

She shook her head no, her face still buried against my shoulder. I whispered urgently but gently, "Parlez moi, s'il vous plait. Dites-moi quoi faire pour le rendre tout droit. Dites-moi comment le rapporter, dites-moi ce que pour être vous avez besoin de moi." (Please talk to me. Tell me what to do to make it all right. Tell me how to take it back, tell me what you need me to be.) My slip back into French was unintentional, but she fin'ly looked up at me.

Her eyes were rimmed with red, swollen. Her face was splotchy, and still she was beautiful. She didn' trust her voice, whispering back, "Why are you here?"

"I won' leave you."

"Why?" she repeated.

"Rogue, I've never said dis befo'. I don' know how to say it right."

She pulled her hands away from my neck and wrapped them around herself, putting distance between us, but she was unwilling to break contact wit' me: she stayed where she was.

"Ah don't want you to stay because you think ah'm too pitiful and pathetic to handle bein' alone again. I lost mahself…that was unfair. Maybe this is some sick form of chivalry. Maybe you'll wait til ah'm asleep and sneak away. No more lies, Remy. Why are you here?"

No mo' lies? What else was left? Wit'out dem, I was jus' a ghost o' a person dat might have been. Why would she wan' dat?

My eyes stared into hers, and I didn' answer. She shut her eyes tightly. "Please tell me the truth. Please just this once. Ah don't know what to do."

"About what?"

She grimaced. "Whether to let mah heart break and start pickin' up pieces as best ah can, or to try and keep it together. Ah don't have the strength to do both, so please tell me why yoah here."

I looked away from her, unable to control my face any longer. "Rogue," my voice was too weak. I took a deep breath and tried again. "Rogue, dere are some t'ings about me dat you don' know. Bad t'ings. Terrible t'ings. De next time you leave dis room, you'll start finding out…who I really am."

She took some deep breaths, finally getting herself back under control. "Is Remy yoah real name?"

I didn' t'ink it was possible, but I couldn' help it. I smiled. "Yes."

"Those people ah met…they're yoah real family?"

"Oui."

"You like coffee, gumbo, live music, and irritatin' me to death?"

I laughed. A miracle. "Yes."

"Then what could ah find out that would make you someone else?"

De mirth evaporated instantly. I couldn' bring myself to say de words. "I…I've done some t'ings…"

"So have ah."

I sighed, feeling a tremor in my chest. I couldn' tell her. I jus' got her back. She watched my expressions carefully.

Her voice was low when she pressed me. "Ah'd like to hear whatever it is from you, Remy."

My throat felt thick. I had never spoken o' dis, not to anyone. How can you put somet'ing like what I had done into words? How can you describe de images I've seen wit' my waking eyes?

"I'm…not good, Rogue. I'm a bad person. I'm bad fo' everyone, but mos' of all, you."

She put one hand against my chest. My words worried her. "I'm not gon' leave you. I promise."

"But you haven't answered my question."

"Non?"

"Why are you here? The truth?"

I touched her hair, wondering if I should say. I didn' know if I could say it and make it mean what I felt. But in de end, wasn' it obvious? What exactly did I t'ink I could hide at dis point, by not saying it? Could I make it less true? Could I save anyt'ing? Would it give me any mo' options, keeping it to myself?

"I'm here…because I'm a bastard. And because I love you, wit' every part o' me I have left to give. I'm sorry."

She ignored dat last part, sighing and slumping against me as though relieved. She wrapped her arms back around my neck, and I held her de way I had always wanted to. One o' her hands wound its way into my hair, pulling me even closer. I didn' resist.

"Stay with me?" She whispered in my ear.

"I tol' you I would."

"No." she pulled away jus' enough to be able to look back into my face. "Stay with me here. Tonight. Ah don't think ah can bear to let you go. Ah'll think ah dreamt it."

The horror was washing out o' my system, and since I couldn' cater to it, I let myself selfishly enjoy de warm joy dat was starting to spread from my chest throughout my body.

"Should I say it again den, to help you remember?"

She smiled jus' a little bit and blushed. "You don't have to. Just stay."

I wound my hands through her hair, holding her gaze captive. "I'll do bot'. I love you, Rogue."

She sighed, happy again, and put her hands on either side o' my face. I closed my eyes contentedly. "Ah love you, Remy. Ah love you so much."

We laid down on de bed, still tangled up togeddah. She felt right in my arms, like she was always supposed to be mine. We stared into each uddahs eyes wordlessly, awaiting de dawn.

I stared all de more urgently: I was dreading it.

14


	26. Chapter 26

_Disclaimer: sorry I took a few extra days to post this when we're at such a pivotal point in the story, but to compensate this chapter is about double the length of the usuals Unfortunately this was the hardest and least enjoyable chapter that I've written thus far, but it's very important. I'm really anxious to hear what you guys think, but I'm sort of dreading that you'll hate it. Just a warning – there is some graphic stuff in this chapter. I tried not to go overboard, but there are some blows that you can't soften. Be prepared. Thank you all again for your continued patience and reading. . _

_Shandy – hey chica! I missed hearing from you! I know it's my own fault for taking for dang ever, but I'm so glad to hear you're back! And yes, these chapters have been incredibly stressful for me to write. These scenes have been in my heard for years, and finally putting them on paper makes them…seem more real somehow. The next little bit is going to be a little less light-hearted, but I'm hoping what I have in mind for the ending will make up for it. Thanks for reading, it's always a pleasure!_

_Red Skippy – You are so sweet to me! Thank you for such a glowing review. I'm glad I'm not the only one who got a little emotional over that one. Is it completely lame that I got teary-eyed writing it? Probably, but hey…I'm glad you're enjoying this story, and I hope it turns out to be everything you hoped for by the end. It's a tall order!_

_Bologna 121 – Wow…your review made me blush! I'm glad you're so into the story, and that you enjoyed the chapter so much! Favorite's of all time?? Man! I just…thank you for that. I'm really glad I could write something you thought so highly of. I'll see if I can top it by the end. Thank you so much for your continuous reviews, it really does encourage me tremendously. _

_Starlight2twilight – lol! Thank you for review! I'm glad to see you've joined in! I wish I had a finished story for you, but one of these days. We're winding slowly in that direction, anyhow. And thanks for the quote! I'm always pleasantly surprised by what parts people really like…I'm glad I'm funny to someone other than me! Thanks for reading!_

_Crack4sure – you're back! Hooray! I know my long and painful hiatus was discouraging, but I'm glad to see you're still around. Yep, so much for the secret romance. They've got bigger fish to fry these days. We'll see how everyone responds, but some other issues to handle first…thanks for reading!_

_BlimeytheToad – Blimey!!! Better late than never, right? Lol! Thank you so much for your review! You've read this whole thing three times?? My hat is off to you. Holy mess. This thing is huge! I'm glad you enjoy enough to revisit! I promise one of these days you'll get the whole picture. I'm glad you're into the mega-fic, because this is looking like at least another ten chapters, and it'll take me a while to get everything in my head down on paper. Your patience will be one of my best allies! Lol! And the Antarctica-Death bull honky ruined my life. I am desperately trying to redeem everyone involved with this story, and I hope its successful. I wish Marvel would get back on the Romy bandwagon. Thank you so much for your generous review, and for reading! I hope I'll hear from you in the future! PS- my muse is b eating the hell out of me just at present. _

Part 26: Made and Broken

The darkness came and went. We didn't speak or sleep. Ah refused to let mahself think. Ah know mah mind well enough to know how obsessively ah would scour his words foah the cracks. Ah knew how the doubts would descend, how the stone wall would try to crush back down on me and pull him away.

Ah knew that ah would eventually have to deal with all that, but ah refused to do it now. Every part of me thrilled with the exhilaration of him acknowledging that he loved me. Every part of me felt impossibly exposed. Ah had never felt so close, so raw with anyone. Ah didn't want it to go away. After his near escape, ah felt like it was too fragile to stand up to the war ahead.

Ah would hold everythin' else back as long as ah could. Stupid and irrational with nerves, ah vainly hoped ah had enough strength to hold it back forever, to keep us locked in this wordless moment indefinitely.

His eyes searched mah face ceaselessly, hungrily. As the sky outside turned from an inky purple to the pale grey of dawn ah began to feel his tension increase. He didn't move or speak but he began to look more and more like a statue, and his eyes moved faster and faster over me.

The sunrise felt like an enemy approaching. Once light broke, we would have to face everything: what we had become, what Remy's secrets were, Antarctica, the endless questions. Ah had no hope that mah display last night would have been overlooked, or undiscussed. It was almost funny, that seemed almost irrelevant today. Whatever had been forged between us last night, fragile as it might be, was real and tangible. We had ceased to be two independent people reaching towards some middle ground: we were one entity now. Ah had no interest whatsoever in hiding it, and ah didn't think ah had the ability anyway.

The increasing light of the approaching dawn was making it harder to keep out the thoughts ah didn't want to have. One theme was painfully clear and undeniable: ah was insecure. Normally ah would try to deny or suppress such information, but today ah simply accepted the fact. Probably because ah was unwilling to suppress the behavior that accompanied it.

He loved me, but if ah had been able to (and ah truly believed that ah was unable to at the time) contain mahself last night…would he still be here right now? Would he really have left foah good, or maybe thought about it when he was calmer and returned to me? Ah couldn't know. Ah believed he loved me: ah felt it there between us, but his love made me no promises.

Somethin' was horribly wrong, and he couldn't or wouldn't tell me what it was. Ah would find out today regardless of his wishes or mine. All ah knew was that it was somethin' he didn't have the strength to face, and ah had to prepare to have enough strength foah both of us. Most of the time mah strength is the one thing that ah can trust not to falter…today it seemed less reliable. Ah would find a way. Ah couldn't risk the potential consequences of failure.

Ah would not leave him alone foah a single second. Ah focused on the only motivation that was acceptable, that ah could admit to: he needed me. Much as ah refused to dwell on it, ah knew there was another…ah didn't know if ah could trust him. No matter which way you looked at it, he'd spent half of last night lying to me. The desperation in his face had been plain: he wanted to leave. He said he wouldn't, but still…

It was a strange sensation…mah insecurities, reservations and fears kept stacking up, as they always did. There was a larger pile there than ah wanted to acknowledge, and yet foah once they didn't seem to put one shred of distance between us. They all seemed like conditions of our closeness, rather than barriers to it. They fell all around us, but not between.

Ah kept waiting foah the panic to set in, to feel utterly absurd foah telling him ah loved him, foah crying the way ah had. Ah waited foah my pride and survival instinct to demand that ah push him away, lock him in a box and never let him out. It didn't happen.

Ah pondered over this, still watchin' his perfect face. Ah traced the line of his jaw, the curve of his lips, the rise of his cheeks, and wandered mah way back into his depthless eyes.

How could anyone resist lookin' into his eyes, much less be averse to the idea? The weight of his gaze seemed like somethin' vital to me, like taking a breath after being underwater too long.

Maybe that was the answer. He was no longer a threat to mah survival, he was necessary to it. Maybe that was an unhealthy way to look at it, but that didn't make it untrue. He was part of me now, whether or not ah agreed to it.

The thought brought me some measure of relief. It meant that all mah defenses weren't gone, mah wall wasn't fallen: he was just inside it. We were in here together now, and ah could protect him the same way ah had always protected mahself.

Ah felt infinitesimally stronger. Whatever came foah us today, ah wouldn't let it touch him any more than ah would let it touch me.

The first rays of sunlight broke in through the window. He inhaled sharply, but didn't move. Ah touched mah fingertips to his face, tracin' its outline gently. There was no effort to make the touch feel natural, no struggle to fight off the anxiety. Ah guess everythin' really was different today.

"Are you awake?" he asked me.

The answer was obvious. Ah had never closed mah eyes. Ah smiled gently in response. He smiled back and the movement seemed strange, like his mouth was struggling to move stone.

"Do you want to tell me?" Mah voice was unhopeful, and rightly so. He shook his head no.

"You'll find out, either way. I don' wan' to be de one."

"Why?" There was no rebuke in mah reply, just curiosity. "Don't you think it would be better foah you to plead yoah own case?"

His eyebrows knit together. "Not if I have no defense."

Ah considered his answer foah a moment. "Well…its like you say, ah'll find out one way or the other. But yoah not defenseless, Rem. Ah don't know what to expect, but if anyone wants you, they have to get through me."

He closed his eyes, his brows knit tighter together. "I don' deserve dat."

"Doesn't matter."

"You don' undah stand yet. Shouldn' you wait til you know what battle yo' trying to fight fo' me?"

Ah leveled mah gaze. "It doesn't matter. It is what it is. You can't undo whatever it is than you've done, ah can't undo the way ah feel about you. Whatever you have to face, we'll face it together, or ah'll face it foah you."

He looked at mah face hard, it was clear he wanted to find a way to talk me out of it, but he found no crack there to exploit. He sighed, and pulled a strand of silver away from mah face, bringing it gently to his lips.

Ah wished…god how ah wished ah could close that distance between us. Ah wanted to kiss him, to touch him, to drive him crazy until he couldn't remember whatever it was that caused the shadows under his eyes, until he couldn't think of anythin' but me, and believe that ah could take whatever was comin'. It was a hard impulse to resist, like water tryin' to resist a drain…everythin' about his presence drew me in.

Ah closed mah eyes foah a moment, tryin' to regain control. To mah surprise, the curse took over: ah smiled because ah was thinkin' about somethin' ah shouldn't.

When ah opened mah eyes, he was smiling down at me quizzically, and his smile was more real this time. "What was dat you jus' hid from me?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about."

His smile deepened, crinklin' his dimples in that special way that made mah breath catch. He was perfect, like God had let me make a checklist of everythin' ah had ever wanted befoah he created Remy Lebeau, and then threw in several bonuses.

Ah had had one-hundred-percent confidence in the fact that love, any love, much less one like this, could never be part of mah existence. Ah had accepted it, fair or no. There was no way to deserve the way ah felt right now.

The fact that a man really loved me in that special way was a miracle in and of itself. The reality that it was exactly the man ah loved back was unspeakably precious. And finally, it was Remy.

In the same moment that mah elation flared to the point ah thought mah chest would burst, ah found mah strength. This connection was worse than a one-in-a-million shot, the odds were non-existent: there was nothing anyone could have done to force this. It was fate, it was meant to be. Maybe it was cheesy, but there was just no other explanation.

This day was goin' to try and take it away from us. The answer was no.

"It kills me sometimes, not knowing what's going on inside dat head." He frowned, perplexed. Ah had been unaware of what mah face was doin' while ah got lost in mah inner dialogue.

Ah smiled at him. "Ah'm thinkin' that there's no reason in the world foah you to worry."

His frown pulled down harder. "I wish I could believe you."

"Me too. But foah now, you'll just have to know that _ah_ believe it. Don't you see? Ah love you. That's the most impossible thing that could have happened. There's no way anythin' more impressive can exist."

He sat up, his frown deepening even more as his brow tensed, and ah sat up with him. His eyes flickered away from mah face foah the first time, and his fingers traced the pattern on mah blanket.

"You don' have to say dat, you know."

Ah cocked mah head to the side, confused. "What?"

He took a deep breath, keepin' his eyes carefully concealed. It frustrated me: ah wanted them back. "Dat you love me. You don' have to say dat."

Foah the first time this mornin', a feelin' came that ah might have expected…a little embarrassed. Ah twisted mah fingers. "Does it bother you?"

"Non. Jus'…it won' change my mind if you don'. I still won' leave. De feelings I have fo' you, I can' ignore dem anymore."

Mah jaw dropped as realization set in. "Remy Lebeau, do you think ah told you ah loved you just so you'd stay?!"

He shrugged. "I'm jus' letting you know dat I won' hold a grudge if you did. If you wan' to wait until…after…today, den dat's ok."

It was strange…a moment ago he was everythin' ah ever wanted. Now ah really wanted to punch him. Ah opened mah mouth to give him a tirade, but a sudden thought stopped me.

What if he told me he loved me just to get me to calm down? Just out of guilt? Mah fingers twisted harder. He still must care, if he stayed at all. Ah could wait. "If you only said it to comfort me….if you'd rather take it back, slow down a little…"

He grabbed mah shoulders and looked at me seriously. "Don' you dare. Stop it right dis minute."

His rough touch roused mah temper again. "Then you stop. You started it. You think ah just run around tellin' people that to get mah way?"

My irritation ignited his. "You t'ink I jus' say it to any girl jus' cause she's crying?"

"Well ah don't know quite frankly, ah just thought since you brought it up maybe you were havin' some second thoughts."

Ah glared at him, and he glowered at me. Then all the sudden, his lips split into a grin. In the same moment, ah blushed at the ridiculousness mahself. Really? We were fighting already? Over this?

He pulled me back into his arms with an amused sigh. "Sorry. Fo' some reason I t'ought you'd be less trouble dan usual dis morning. My mistake."

"If ah've told you once, ah've told you a thousand times: ah am not a mornin' person."

He grabbed mah hands and planted a kiss on each one. "Well, let's jus' resolve dis issue befo' someone draws blood. I love you, Rogue. I do."

Ah flushed red. It was stupid, ah'd already said it, but the bicker had taken the surreal edge off everythin'. It felt like any other day and it was harder to say, if no less true. "Ah love you too."

He laughed at mah crimson face, and pulled me into a fierce hug. "I don' t'ink I could ever hear enough o' dose words."

Ah silently agreed.

The room was filled with mornin' light, and the alarm ah would normally have set to wake up went off, filling the room with its abrasive sound and remindin' us of what was ahead.

Ah felt him tense at the noise, so ah reached over and slammed mah fist down, utterly destroyin' it.

"Was dat necessary? I t'ought he was jus' doing his job."

"Like ah said, anyone who wants you has to come through me."

He looked somber again. "Will you promise me one t'ing?"

Ah raised an eyebrow. "Maybe."

He sighed and smiled half-heartedly. "Tell me if you change yo' mind. Don' try to spare my feelings or let me down easy. Jus' tell me."

"That won't happen, idiot Cajun."

"If it does."

Ah grabbed his chin roughly, forcin' him to look at me. "That. Won't. Happen."

He didn't say anythin' else, but it still felt like a stalemate. Ah sighed and stood up. "Ah guess there's only one way to prove it to you." Ah glanced toward the door meaningfully, and then extended mah hand to him.

He didn't mean foah me to notice, but he was holdin' his breath. He took mah hand, and ah quickly wound mah fingers with his. He raised an eyebrow.

"Dis is a lil conspicuous, non?"

Ah scoffed. "Ugh. X-men drama is the least of mah worries today. Besides, ah can always just drain the knowledge from them later if ah change mah mind."

He smiled, "You mean it? You don' mind?"

"Nope." Ah popped the "p", and then led him out of the room.

The door creaked ominously on the way out, and ah put on mah game face. Ah almost expected every single X-man and Brotherhoodlum to be waitin' outside to pounce, but the hallway turned out to be empty. He stayed close at mah side, and ah found an endearing amusement at the irony: me leadin' him by the hand, takin' care of him, reassuring him…him dependin' on me foah once.

Ah wasn't happy that somethin' or someone was makin' him so vulnerable, but in a strange way ah was happy ah had this chance to prove mahself to him. Ah wanted to be an equal partner. Ah wanted him to want and need me like ah did him. Ah wanted him to turn to me when he faltered.

Ah squared mah shoulders off, determined to make the most of this opportunity. We walked to the end of the hall, then down the stairs with no interception. Finally, ah heard voices from the kitchen.

"…I mean, it's not really like we know a whole lot about him." Jubilee's voice was bewildered.

Scott answered with his militant, objective tone; totally detached. "Yes, and we have to make it a first priority, but I'm not going to jump to conclusions."

"Right. There are a thousand explanations I'd be more willing to believe," Jean jumped in helpfully.

Logan's gruff voice was a surprise. "It shouldn't matter either way."

Silence. Remy's hand squeezed mine tighter. Ah squeezed back and commanded mah face to smile light-heartedly. Ah wasn't shoah if ah was successful.

We walked in. All eyes fell on us in unison, landing first on Remy, then our hands, then me, then back around in a predictable pattern.

Scott groaned. Ah wondered why, but ignored it. Ah was only goin' to fight the battles ah absolutely had to today: there were conceivably enough of them.

We stood, waitin', foah what seemed like a long time. Jubilee, Scott, Bobby, Wanda and Pietro sat around the table. Jean was at the counter, in the middle of cleanin' or cookin', ah couldn't tell which. Logan was leanin' against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Remy's hand squeezed mine so hard ah thought it might break if it could have.

At last, Jean smiled a little guiltily. "I've got eggs, toast, oatmeal and cereal. Coffee is brewing."

The eyes fell away immediately, lookin' everywhere but at us. Ah took a breath, holdin' steady. They were gonna play nice…foah now.

"Toast sounds great, but ah'll wait til the coffee's ready. Ah see the table's full, so we'll -,"

Wanda jumped up. "No no, Pietro and I just finished. Please, take our seats."

Pietro scowled up at his sister with a mouth full of eggs. "That's all right, Wanda, don't rush on our account." Ah was amazed at how naturally the plural fell from mah lips.

"No, really. If we don't leave now we'll be late for our briefing from Mag…father. Come on, Pietro." She smiled good naturedly at us befoah draggin' her brother from the room.

Remy and ah took their places at the table, and the tension was palpable. Jean asked without turnin', "What about you, um, Gambit? What will you have?"

Remy looked up at her incredulously. He apparently wasn't expecting this kind of reception. He stuttered twice befoah he managed to blunder out, "I'm actually not all dat hungry dis morning, but t'anks anyway, Jean."

Logan snorted and walked over to the counter, dishin' some eggs onto a paper plate. "Eat anyway. You'll thank me later." He shoved the plate in front of Remy brusquely, and ah had to focus to keep mah jaw from droppin'. Did this mean that Logan…one of the people ah was dreadin' the most…was on our side? Or just that he had somethin' super awful planned foah later?

Dangit, what was it that everyone else knew? Ah hate bein' last to find somethin' out. Makes it harder to know what to expect. Remy dutifully picked up his fork, offerin' a muffled "t'anks" befoah takin' a mouthful. Logan nodded at me once befoah headin' out.

After a few minutes, Jean placed two cups of coffee in front of us. Ah was glad foah it. Right now the electricity in the air was keepin' me alert, but ah knew that the sleepless night was bound to catch up at some point. Caffeine was just the thing to stave it off.

"Ok, well I'm off to meet with the Professor. Scott?" She turned toward him, givin' him a meaningful look.

"Um, right. Right behind you, Jean."

They shuffled out of the room, and left Bobby and Jubilee sitting there looking guilty. With the obvious displays of awkwardness from Scott and Jean, they knew there was no excuse that would seem believable to get them out of the kitchen.

Remy kept his eyes studiously on his plate.

Ah took a deep breath and forced mah mind to put some sentences together. "So, uh…integration trainin' today, huh? That should be interestin'."

There was a delay, but finally Jubilee offered, "Yeah. I just hope they're looking forward to it as much as we are."

Bobby and ah smiled at her attempt at light-hearted sarcasm, but then the silence happened again. Remy looked like he was pretendin' to be somewhere else.

Ah tried again. "Wanda and Pietro seem really nice. Sort of surprisin'."

"I thought you already knew all the Brotherhood." Bobby said without lookin' at me.

"Ah'd seen them a time or two at meetings, but they traveled with the other team. Ah don't think ah really even talked to them befoah today."

"Yeah, Wanda's particularly…sweet. They seem to hang out with us more than their own team. Wonder what's up with that."

"Sweet huh? Ah don't think you've used that word in reference to a person befoah. Interestin' choice foah a first."

Bobby looked up, a flicker of real personality in his eyes. "Jealous?"

Ah shrugged. "Everyone has to move on sometime."

Jubilee's eyes danced up briefly and then back to the table. "Sooooo….you guys are like, a thing now?"

Ah laughed, but it sounded shrill even to me. "Yeah, ah guess we're a thing. The only question left is what kinda thing."

"Smart of you to work in that condition that Gambit can never speak again. If I ever need to hammer out a contract, you'll be the first person I call." Jubilee teased.

Remy looked up, finally. "Sorry to spoil yo' fun, but my mouth never entered de negotiations."

"Oh so he can speak! Does he get a treat or something?" She tossed a half eaten biscuit at him that he caught with the faintest glimmer of a smile.

"Seems like all us X-men are pairing off an' settling down. Scott an' Jean, me an' Rogue, you an' Wolvie."

"WHAT?! Ew! Grossgasm!"

He smiled more fully now. "Oh I'm sorry, did I misinterpret? Wit' de way you two been spending time togeddah lately…"

"He's like, 20 years older than me or something! That's totally disgusting!!"

"I dunno, seems like the lady doth protest too much." Bobby jumped in.

"Oh shut it, ice weenie. I'd still take old Mr. Grumpy Claws over you!"

He stuck his tongue out at her. "You sound just like Rogue yesterday, 'There's nothin' goin' on between me and Gambit'. Now look at the lovebirds, romance blossoming in the air. "

Remy turned a questionin' look at me. Ah blushed just horribly. He grinned. Jubes giggled. Bobby felt encouraged.

"Yeah, she turned like, that color and was all like 'oh he doesn't like me like that', and I was like, 'dude, he so loves you' and she was like 'shut up Bobby', and I was like 'you know you're totally smitten' and she was like-,"

"SHUT UP BOBBY!"

"Yeah, just like that. Gosh, I'm glad all that crap last night turned out not to be true. Sorry I was worried for a second, man," he tossed the peacemakin' gesture at Remy.

Remy froze, and then his eyes went back to his plate. The mood shifted back violently.

Bobby's eyebrows shot up. "It's not true, is it? You guys were acting all light hearted…"

Remy didn't move or respond. Ah took a deep breath. Now's as good a time as any. "Bobby, ah wasn't outside foah much of last night. What exactly was said?"

Bobby did a double take at me, and then his jaw dropped. He turned a surprisingly fierce glare on Remy. "You didn't even _tell_ her, did you? Seriously? You just went right ahead and-,"

"Bobby." Storm's sudden appearance in the doorway silenced him, but he continued lookin' at Remy hostile-like. Ah squeezed Remy's hand, and reminded him in a whisper, "It doesn't matter."

Bobby snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. Storm spoke again, "Gambit, may I speak with you privately, please?"

Nope. Ah jumped in, "If it's all the same, Ro', Ah'd like to stay with Remy."

"I'm afraid it's not all the same, Rogue. I am making my very best effort at being cordial, but when I say I'd like to speak to him alone, I am not asking: I am demanding."

"Ah'm makin' an effort too. When ah say ah'd like to stay with Remy, ah mean ah'm not leavin' him unless someone makes me."

Ro's eyes flashed white foah a second, and then she looked at Remy. "Perhaps this is a conversation that you might not want your companion to hear?"

Remy looked evenly at her, and then looked at me. Mah face was plain: no way, not a chance. He closed his eyes foah a moment befoah answerin' her.

"Actually, I t'ink she better come wit'. She's got as much right to de truth as anybody."

You could see Ro's jaw clench together, but she nodded once, curtly, and turned. It was clear that we were meant to follow. Ah stood, bracin' mahself foah whatever blow was to come. Remy stood like he was facin' the gallows.

As we followed 'Ro down the hall toward the elevators, mah heart picked up the pace. Ah swallowed and prayed it wasn't as loud to everyone else as it was to me. Remy's hand was still in mine, it had never left since this mornin'. That was the only thing that mattered. It had to be.

If ah had doubted it in Remy's face befoah, Bobby's tone sealed it: whatever this was, it was earth shatterin'. Could it possibly be enough to unmake everythin'? Mah mind begged me to guess what it could be, but ah staunchly refused. Ah would find out in a minute, and presumably that would be bad enough. Ah didn't need to give mah nerves any help from mah imagination.

Remy had one hand in mine, and the other in his pocket. He stared only at the ground in front of his feet, placing one foot in front of the other. It was strange and painful, seein' him this way. He had no quips, his normally graceful steps had a decided trudge, his broad shoulders slumped…he just seemed so hopeless. Maybe it wasn't too late…maybe we could just turn and run now, get out of here and just pretend this was all a bad dream. We could just love one another and ah could just live with not knowin' some things, if it would make him feel better.

But deep down, ah knew that wasn't an option. We weren't headed toward a firing squad in a cell, but walkin' through our home with our friends. We couldn't leave things this way. And…ah had to know. Ah had to get around the secrets. Mah fears and insecurities weren't comin' between us now…but Remy's shadows were. In order foah a person to be whole, there has to be good and bad. In order foah me to love this whole person, ah had to know both sides.

Ah prayed ah would be strong enough.

'Ro led us into the conference room, and as she switched on the lights I realized we were not alone.

It took a moment foah mah mind to register the face, as it was just barely known to me. The grey man from the lawn stood toward the back of the room, his yellow eyes seethin' with rage, the hard ridges of his grotesque body standin' out all the more as his muscles tensed.

Ah slung Remy behind me, takin' an aggressive stance. 'Ro grabbed mah wrist.

"Caliban has agreed to a truce. There will be no fighting."

Ah remained tense, distrustful. He spoke. "I want to hear. I want to know why. I want answers."

If he seemed hostile befoah he spoke, his quiet voice made him downright menacin'. But still, his words were convincing. He was headed the same direction as me, desperate to know…he was just on the other team.

It took real concentration foah me to relax mah guard, but ah stayed in front of Remy. 'Ro went and stood beside Caliban, turned ever so slightly toward him. Ah wasn't sure if she was discreetly lettin' us know which side she was on, or if she doubted Caliban's self-control and wanted to be in a position to intercept. She'd been our friend up til now, ah'd give her benefit of the doubt.

Ah had thought surely mah system was out of adrenaline after last night, but ah felt it coursin' through mah veins again. Ah hadn't had a chance to eat much, there was nothin' in mah system but a few swigs of coffee. Between lack of food and the sleep deprivation, mah energy stores were depleted: ah was relyin' entirely on the rush.

Mah hands threatened to tremble. Ah clenched them into tight fists, forbiddin' it. Ah would not show weakness. Not today. Ah didn't care how unhappy mah system was.

Ah kept mah eyes trained on Caliban. He was the reason we were here, and therefore he represented everythin' ah had been fearin'. He wasn't offended. He didn't notice. His eyes were locked on Remy.

His face was unspeakable. It was hard not to wince when you looked at him, even if he wasn't lookin' back. The wrath seemed like a mask over his face…is was hard to make out any feature other than the blatant fury. Tremors danced all across his body, and he made no effort to hide them. They were not the result of fear or adrenaline, but the rigid tension he held himself. It was physically demanding for him to restrain the violence he so clearly craved.

So suddenly that it made me jump, he scrubbed the back of his hand over his face. It was only then that I noticed that the milky-yellow hue of his eyes was brightened by furious tears. There was no weakness in them: they were intimidating. It proved that whatever he was feelin' was too great to be held inside. If he wouldn't express it, it would express itself.

Storm kept a wary eye on him as she addressed us. "Gambit, I think you know the answers we are seeking."

He was quiet a long time. Ah found it difficult to tear mah eyes from Caliban, but finally the silence stretched too long and ah turned to look at Remy. He was starin' at Caliban, and his face was unfathomable.

"Ask me, den."

Caliban snarled words similar to the ones he had used last night, "It was you!"

Everything was quiet again foah a moment. Ah thought mah mind was gonna explode if it didn't get an explanation soon. Ah felt like ah was wearin' a blindfold in a room full of landmines.

Remy finally answered, in a voice barely audible. "Yes."

Ro's face collapsed. The answer didn't surprise her, apparently…she was just holdin' onto blind hope that she was wrong. Caliban ground his teeth. One of his feet moved forward, and he dragged it back into place. He wasn't finished yet.

"Why?!" His voice was animalistic, marred by wrath, agony and desperation. "What could you have possibly gained? What had we ever done?!"

Beads of sweat appeared on Remy's nearly unreadable face. It wasn't that his face was blank, ah just couldn't comprehend what the emotion was.

"I don' know."

Ro's jaw dropped in disbelief. Caliban snapped, rushin' at him in a blur. Ah intercepted him, grabbin' him around the waist and refusin' to let him move an inch. His strength couldn't match mine, and he knew it, but it didn't stop him from thrashin' futilely as he spat venom.

"You don't know?! You didn't need a reason?! Do our lives mean so little, just because we don't have a face so lovely as yours?! Because we don't leave trails of scorned lovers?"

Remy winced. He stared at the floor in front of him, unable to bear Caliban.

"I'm sorry. I don' know because I wasn' told. I have some answers, but not dat one."

Caliban stilled, and finally looked down at me. The weight of his gaze was like a physical blow. "Release me."

Ah wanted to ask if he could control himself, make sure that ah wasn't makin' a mistake, but ah couldn't bring mahself to speak to him. Ah let him go, and he backed slowly away. So did ah, and he studied me. Ah wished he would stop.

He didn't. His gaze changed all the sudden. Foah a moment, ah was confused: ah couldn't identify this new expression. His eyes bored into mah face, and then very slowly, deliberately, he let his eyes wander down mah throat, mah shoulders…lower. It sent chills down mah spine, and not in a good way. Ah didn't know how, but ah knew he was thinkin' about how to hurt me, the worst ways.

"You say you have answers," his voice came out much calmer, but cold now, calculatin'. Another shiver ran down the length of me. "I would like one. Would it have hurt you more, if I had done to this one what I did to your wife?"

Remy's head snapped up. Caliban continued. "Of course at the time we had no idea that Remy Lebeau was the name of the man who led the Marauders. That would have been a definite bonus. We would not have given you a year. She was punishment for the Assassins only. Now that we know, things will be much harder for her."

"Leave Belle alone. She didn't know anyt'ing. She didn' even know me, when it happened."

"Amazing how so many people can die and no one knows anything about it. Those lives, the ones you took, they didn't know anything either. They didn't matter to you, but they mattered. This Belle, it would seem, does matter to you. I will judge her by standards you set. That seems fair, doesn't it?"

Remy's face was tortured. "Please. Don' punish Belle fo' de t'ings I've done. Punish me, but please…dat girl has been punished enough."

Caliban's face turned up in a smirk. His frenzy was finally havin' its release, causin' Remy pain.

"Not yet, but rest assured she will be. She's one of the best ways to punish you….one."

His eyes fell back on me. Mah mind was slow to wrap around this conversation…it didn't want to. Ah stared at him, dumbfounded, but Remy jumped between us.

"Dis girl is innocent! So is Belle! You t'ink you gon' set t'ings right, by becoming de t'ing you hate mos'? You t'ink you can find happiness by walking my path? Let me tell you, dere's not'ing in de world dat can ever hurt you as much!"

'Ro jumped in, her ignorance mirrorin' mine. "Who is this Belle? What part does she have in this?"

Caliban ignored her, fury returned. "You would pretend remorse?! You think that would be enough?!"

Remy straightened, and his eyes fell back to the floor. "No. I have plenty of remorse, but it doesn' matter. Dere's no way to make it right."

"No! No way!"

Remy's head snapped up again, finally with some degree of distemper. "So den why are you here? What is it you wan' me to say?"

Ah felt like ah was in a dream, or underwater, unable to do anythin' but watch.

"I want the answers you _claim_ not to have! You and the rest of those despicable marauders didn't just _stumble_ onto our territory! You didn't just _happen_ to be armed. You didn't just _accidentally_ kill all those people! All _my_ people!"

Mah mind reeled, and ah started shoutin' befoah ah even thought what ah would say, "Yoah lyin'! Yoah LYIN'!!!"

All eyes fell on me. "That's not true! You haven't even let him say anythin' yet. You don't know anythin'!"

Caliban started shoutin' back "I don't know anything?! I was there! I saw! I saw him massacre those innocent people!"

Remy stepped around me, voice strong. "Dat's not true! You saw horrible t'ings, and you saw me, but you did not see dat!"

And that's when everythin' went to hell. It happened so fast. Caliban shrieked, unable to contain himself any longer, and lunged forward. 'Ro grabbed his arm and yelled "No Caliban!" befoah he slung her across the room and into a wall. Her head slammed back with a terrible crackin' sound and she slumped, momentarily stunned.

Caliban tackled Remy to the ground, landin' on top of him. The instant they hit, Caliban had both hands around Remy's throat, liftin' his head and slammin' it into the floor, once, twice....

Ah dove foah him as soon as mah reflexes would allow, panickin'. Ah knew this was no brawl: Caliban had every intention of killin' Remy if he could. Ah hit him hard enough that we both went tumblin' head over heels in a heap.

His eyes were locked on me, but ah could tell he wasn't seein' me. Ah was just a thing at this point, somethin' in his way. When we finally landed he wasted not a moment's breath. Ah hadn't known befoah what Caliban's power was, but ah found out.

Fear. It was overwhlemin'. Mah mouth went dry, and the terror was uncontrollable. It was in the space of a second. Ah opened mah mouth to scream but no sound came out. Ah was completely paralyzed.

He wrapped his hands around mah throat now, squeezin' hard…ah was unable to do anything at all.

Then his eyes opened in surprise. He didn't know mah power either. His skin against mine was cold and smooth foah just a moment, and then the room, the fear, the moment disappeared from me.

The memory flooded toward me vividly. It was forefront in his mind.

Ah was trapped behind his eyes, an unwilling passenger in his body. It was dark, but ah could see. Ah was walkin' on a slimy stone floor, keepin' watch in the dark tunnels…they were dark but ah could see. The place was familiar in every way, a home ah both loved and hated. It provided me somewhere to belong, someplace safe, but ah missed normal life. Ah missed the light.

Ah knew it was late, near the end of mah shift. There was no sense of importance, no foreboding. It was a normal day, or night…it was hard to tell here. Berzerker would be here soon to relieve me. He'd have Scaleface with him tonight, trainin' her.

Ah suspected with a certain amount of mischievous glee that somethin' more than a professional relationship was goin' on between them. It was nice to think that there was some good still left in the world, even down here.

It was cold. It was always colder down here below the streets of the city, with the sun never touching and the constant dampness hangin' in the air. But tonight it was colder. As I neared the door, I stuck my head in. Cybelle was on door duty tonight, I'd send along a message to the next sentries to dress as warmly as possible.

We'd need to make a surface run soon. Food and clothes were getting scarce. We needed some penicillin as well. Chest colds and pneumonia were a given in this atmosphere.

Cybelle agreed to pass on my message. She interested me. She was so timid when she spoke, and yet in a fight she showed no sign of weakness. It was almost easier for her to strike than speak. I wondered why that was, but given the sad tales of the rest of us hapless ghouls, I decided I probably didn't want to know.

Mah thoughts were interrupted. Ah had closed the door behind me, continuing down the hall and around the bend. When ah turned the corner, a pair of glowin' red eyes stared back at me.

"Evenin', homme! T'ought we'd drop by fo' a visit!" The voice was young, jovial, playful even.

Ah swallowed the surprise and flew into action. Ah swung at him, and he blocked. Ah swung again, and he kicked me in the stomach.

"Not very hospitable. You don' know nothin' bout hosting parties."

Ah tried to ignore his words, focus only on bringin' him down befoah he could reach the door, when a flicker of shadows in the dark drew mah attention. Ah suddenly realized he wasn't alone. The shadows seemed to multiply, to rise from every surface. He was very not alone. A sharp sense of dread welled up in my stomach.

"Stay back!" ah cried futilely.

Two of the other men, dressed totally in black with masked faces grabbed me. Another one punched me in the stomach. One of mah ribs cracked, ah heard and felt it as the wind rushed out of mah mouth in a loud whoosh. Ah choked and gasped, tryin' to get air to come back in, and each movement felt like its own little blow as it further aggravated the injury.

"Hey, easy hommes! I t'ink you hurt him," the red eyes' voice seemed sincerely agitated.

Ah looked up and finally saw past his eyes to his face. He was barely more than a boy. His face was not unhandsome, but his limbs were gangly, like he hadn't grown into them yet, and his face had just the faintest hint of childhood roundness left. His skin was still baby smooth.

The men paid him no heed. "Open the door," one commanded him without a hint of playfulness. Somethin' about it made mah skin crawl, even as ah was still gaspin' to catch mah breath. Somethin' was very wrong.

The boy backed away from the masked men down the hallway, palms raised face out. "All right, all right. Hold yo' horses. Don' know why everybody has to be so serious all de time."

He turned toward the door. Ah wanted to yell, but ah could only gather enough air to call weakly, "Wait!"

But his hands were already against the wood and a pink glow spread from his fingertips until the entire surface was covered. He gave the door a shove, and it exploded inward, toward the room. Ah heard screams from inside, and panic as the people inside reacted to the intrusion.

"Nicely done. You've made a lot of progress, runt. This night wouldn't have been possible without you."

The boy beamed arrogantly, no hint of remorse on his face, but the masked men gave no further acknowledgment. They marched on ahead of him. Foah a moment his eyes seemed almost confused.

Ah didn't have much time to dwell on it, because just then a sharp, shattering pain dove into mah shoulder. It was quick, and hit twice more. It was like nothin' ah'd ever felt. Ah cried out again and again as the blows fell. The boy turned back to me with a shocked expression. Ah felt a warm stickiness spread from the points of origin, and the pain seemed to radiate outward.

They dropped me and ah fell limply. The force of the fall made me cry out again as my ribs and back sent agony shriekin' throughout mah body. Ah looked up, and saw one of the men who had been holdin' me wipe a bloody blade off on his sleeve before tuckin' it back in its sheath.

Mah mind slowly processed that ah had been stabbed. How many times? Three? The knowledge came as though through a fog. Ah wondered if ah was goin' into shock.

Then the screaming started. At first, the screams were in terror. Ah hated this sound. Ah could recognize the voices. Ah woodenly started draggin' mahself toward the door, and ah realized that the stones around me seemed slick foah some reason.

But the screaming changed quickly. They was no longer screams of terror. As horrible as they had been, ah wished them back a thousand times. The screams now were pain; agonizin', searin' pain.

The small part of this moment that was really me begged him to stop. Please don't go. Ah don't want to see.

He was unaware of me, and ah was powerless.

Ah dragged mah damaged body over to the wall, and it took me several tries to right mahself. Each failure brought with it an increasin' amount of torture from mah protestin' wounds. Ah had to keep tryin'. Ah had to find out what had happened to mah family.

When ah was finally upright, the world went starry foah a moment. Ah thought ah might pass out, but ah clenched mah teeth and forced one foot in front of the other, mah weight carried by the wall until the stars disappeared.

They had left me to die, and the hallway was empty now. There was a vague awareness somewhere in mah head that ah might die, but it wasn't completely relevant at that moment. The shrieking poured in increasing intensity from the open doorway. Mah stomach started to turn. Ah didn't know if ah could bear it. But ah couldn't run away, ah had to see. Ah had to try and help. Ah had to warn them. I was the one keepin' watch.

The path to the door took an unbearable amount of time. Had ah really thought earlier that ah missed the light? Such a trivial thing! Nothin' in the world was more beautiful than mah home, mah family. They had to be ok. They had to be. What would ah do without them?

They would be ok. There had to be fairness somewhere in the world. We had so little, who would want our scraps? What did we have to offer anyone? What had we ever done, other than take what little we required to survive? We didn't even require them to look at us, acknowledge us. We just wanted someplace to _be_.

Our place was one that no one else wanted. We were people no one else wanted. But we wanted each other. Isn't that what everyone wanted to find? Most hoped they would find it in a big house with a beautiful wife and lots of children. Maybe with a fancy career where everyone wore suits. Most people never found a place to belong, only things to comfort them. We had no things, we had only each other.

Mah world was small: it was entirely contained behind that door. If somethin' happened to it, there would only be darkness left.

Mah limbs started to feel cold. Mah blood hit the floor behind me with a faint and toneless "plink….plink….plink".

"Please……please…..please…" ah whispered to mahself. Ah just had to know they were ok. Then ah could die. Ah had to make it to the door first.

The sounds started to become vague, like mah ears were plugged up. Ah ignored this change and continued mah slow trudge. Ah wouldn't make it much longer, but ah had to keep goin' as long as ah could.

Finally, ah reached the door frame. Ah used mah last reserve of strength to pull myself around and into the room befoah ah collapsed.

It took me a moment, pantin', to collect enough strength to lift mah head and look.

The small part that was still Rogue begged. Begged just to be able to close her eyes. She couldn't, because ah couldn't.

The scene struck mah sight like a bolt of lightenin', etchin' the scene forever in mah memory.

Cybelle was lyin' facedown a few feet in front of me. I could only tell it was her because of the shock of red hair. Acid sweat still dripped from her pores, and her clothes were steaming as they melted away. There was one spear through her left hand, pinnin' that appendage to the floor. Another jutted out from her back at a strange angle, where it had pierced between her shoulder blades and driven down through her ribcage and out her stomach. Her blood was in a black puddle all around her, and though she was gone…ah could tell, ah just didn't know how…her body twitched in a useless endeavor to survive.

Scaleface and Berzerker were trying to block the way to the back tunnel, where the others would be trying to escape to the outside. They were outnumbered and it was clear they would be overwhelmed, but the masked men laughed and jeered, takin' their time and enjoyin' their work.

They fired guns and threw daggers, careful to cause pain and not disability.

Berzerker cried out as a small blade took root in his thigh, "Fall back Scaleface! You have to report to Callisto!"

"I won't leave you here by yourself!"

"Fall back NOW! That's an order!"

Scaleface turned towards him, heavily conflicted and hesitant. One of the masked men stepped up, pulling his mask off to reveal a tan face fixed with a hard scowl, and framed by long black hair. There was nothing human, no empathy in his cold eyes.

"Enough of this. Get the job done, slackers."

He pulled out a handgun, holding it in both hands. He leveled it at Berzerker's face. B's eyes went wide foah a split second, and then the dark man pulled the trigger.

The sound was deafenin' as it ricocheted off the stone walls, and Berzerker slumped down to the floor lifelessly.

Scaleface shrieked, a blood curdling sound full of her loss, her fury and disbelief. She lunged herself toward the dark man, her eyes wild. In one deft movement, he turned his aim toward her and pulled the trigger again.

She fell without a sound, and he walked over to, straddlin' her prostrate form. He pointed the gun down, cocked it, and pulled the trigger again. And again. And again.

Click, BANG!...click, BANG!...click BANG!...click BANG!

Her body jumped as the force of each bullet entered it at close range. His clip was empty. He pulled another from his belt, but stopped in mid motion, cockin' his head to one side.

Turning, he noticed me starin' wide eyed, unable to do anythin'. Helpless. Bleeding.

He smiled, chuckled, and then dismissed me. Dismissed my agony. Dismissed my life.

"Come on boys, the night is young."

He led them down further into the tunnels, chasin' the others. The echoes of their boot steps died away, leavin' me in the silence and the dark…alone with corpses.

Ah would soon join them. There was no comfort in the thought.

Ah had forgotten the pain in mah body as each blast of gun fire pierced mah soul through. Gone, gone, everything gone.

Why? Why?!

"WHY!?!?!" Mah voice cried out as Caliban slumped away from me. The sound of it was so loud it hurt mah ears.

The world ah had been wrapped up in was gone as quickly as it had come, and ah was back in the conference room. Caliban's memories lingered, his pain fresh in me. Ah had scarcely had time to register who and where ah was when his power overwhelmed me.

Ah could see the world differently. Ah could sense every mutant in the school, and yet the new information was not overwhelmin'. Ah was aware of each one individually; they were like pale flames dancin' in a colorless world, but each one slightly different, distinct.

Some of the flames were different. They shone brighter, they had color…they were varying degrees of gold. At first ah didn't know what the difference was, only that ah was attracted to these yellow flames.

Then small threads of me, mah consciousness reached out and caressed the yellow flames, connectin' mahself. Ah knew instantly…the colored flames were those mutants experiencin' fear.

Ah couldn't control it. As ah connected with each, mah presence acted as a catalyst. Each of them flared, goin' from a mild amber sheen in many cases to a blindin' flash. Ah felt the fear cripple them, felt their hands go cold, their throats tighten. Pulses thundered, and several people screamed.

Ah pulled hard on as many flames as ah could, and ah felt the effort tirin' me. The energy poured out of me in thick waves until it was utterly spent. Mah threads shimmered and then vanished, the flames flicked and then snuffed, the awareness faded until there was nothin' left.

Ah slumped to the floor, exhausted in ways ah didn't think possible. Caliban was unconscious next to me.

It had only been a few seconds…the entire experience was a only a breath of time. Ah felt like ah had lost years.

"Chere! Are you,-?"

"Why?" Ah repeated, mah voice blank and soft as ah turned mah gaze to him. Whatever he saw in mah face, it stopped him in his tracks.

"Why, Remy? Why did you do it?" Caliban's memories were starting to wilt around the edges…not mah memories. Just like seein' a scary movie. It was over now.

But the horror…that was real. The actors hadn't gone on to make other films. They stayed where they lay.

Remy stayed frozen, mouth agape. Ah struggled to pull mahself to mah feet. The room tried to spin as exhaustion started mixin' in with everythin' else, but ah forced it away.

"Why?! Answer me, Remy! Why, why, why?!?!"

He was staggered. He knew what ah had seen. Ah had entered his own little hell. Moments befoah the sight of Remy so horrified would have brought me to mah knees. Now it only enraged me.

"Speak!"

His voice stumbled out, chokin' on the words, and makin' no sense.

"Speak UP!"

Ah had no mercy in me. Mah fury would have been enough, but it was tangled up in Caliban's, which was greater than any ah'd ever felt from anyone.

"I didn' know dey what dey were planning! I didn't know…I would never have t'ought dat…."

"That what? That were goin' to kill everyone? What did you suppose all the guns were foah?!"

He took shallow breaths like his lungs were refusin' to expand.

"He….he tol' me dat…dey…de Morlocks…had somet'ing of great value to him. He tol' me I had to find dem. Dat was de price."

"Who told you?! The price of what?!"

His face grew ever more tortured. "Essex...Sinister. He wanted de location o' de Morlocks….he said he could help me control my powers, if I would jus' agree to get it fo' him."

My jaw dropped. Ah had told him! Ah told him not to keep secrets about Sinister! He had lied to me, to mah face, about somethin' that he knew was so important to me?!

"Is there anything about you that isn't a secret or a lie?!" Mah voice was borderin' on hysterical.

He ran his hands up into his hair, pullin' until his knuckles were white. His eyes started glowin' fiercely bright. "Very very little! Dat's what I've tried to tell you all along!"

Most of me felt nothin' but the drive, the pull of the anger, the near insanity. A very small part, barely noticeable, recoiled.

Ah had nearly forgotten Ororo in all this mess. "Rogue, what did you see? Is Remy guilty of these crimes?"

Ah turned toward her, and she took a step back. Ah tried to force mahself to calm down befoah ah crossed a line ah didn't want to. In mah peripheral vision, ah was aware of Remy's eyes serachin' mah face pleadingly.

Ah had to answer her question…what was the truth?

Remy was there. He had been with them. Ah had seen him.

But…ah didn't see him kill anyone. Did that mean he didn't? Or only that Caliban didn't know?

How could you explain that someone "sorta" killed a person?

"Ah didn't see….him commit the crimes. But ah saw him lead the ones who did. He told them where to go, and let them in."

Ororo shuddered, and her eyes flitted back and forth as she tried to process. Finally, she looked at Remy. "But you say you didn't know what they had planned to do once they arrived? Is that correct? Is that true?"

He just nodded, jaw tremblin'. She thought again. Ah seethed, tryin' to reign in whatever had been unleashed in me.

After a time, she spoke again. "Do you know where they are? The men who hired you?" Her face seemed almost hopeful.

His face crumpled again, and he shook his head no. Ro's face fell. A quiet kind of panic started risin' above the wrath as Caliban's past seeped further away, less tangible. Where could we possibly go from here? What about the team, the Morlocks, me, Remy? This changed everything, but into what?

Ro's voice spoke again, this time with resolve. "Could you find them, Gambit, if you had to?"

Remy and ah both turned to her, startin' to catch on to her train of thought. Remy pondered this moment.

His voice was strained when it came out. He was hopin' to give her a better answer. "I don' know. Dere were so many…and dey had a lot of resources. S' been a long time, de trail is dead cold."

"Could you try?" Ororo's voice had an urgent edge to it.

"Yes, I could try."

Ororo fixed him with a level stare. "The Morlocks will not excuse you. I cannot excuse you, either as your friend or their leader. Without justice, there can be no forgiveness. Unwilling as you might have been…and I am trying quite hard to believe you…you still had a part to play. But, perhaps, if you played a part in setting things right, if you brought those who were truly responsible to face judgment…perhaps then you might be absolved. And," she added ominously, "your cooperation in this regard may be the only thing that keeps you safe. Caliban will track you, they will hunt you to the ends of the earth, satisfied only with your destruction."

This word brought a jolt to mah system. Destruction? They were gonna kill Remy?

Ah was mad, scared, betrayed and horrified all at once, but Remy couldn't be killed! He couldn't just be allowed to die!

Ororo continued, "If they believe that you might lead them to better prey…perform the services you performed for their enemies, your chances might improve."

'Ro's gaze stayed steady and hard, her threat thinly veiled. She wouldn't hurt Remy…she owed him her life. But he was the villain here, and she wouldn't intervene with justice.

It seemed like it should have taken Remy more time to answer. "I'll do it. If it'll make it right, if it can stop all dis…I'll do it."

'Ro nodded at him, but kept him locked in her attention. "In the meantime, I am the leader of the Morlocks, and this issue is not resolved. Until it is, I cannot be where you are. I cannot cooperate with you, protect you."

Remy slowly processed her words, and nodded. "I'll leave, den."

Another jolt to mah system. Ah felt like ah was feelin' too much to respond to anythin'.

"I'll go until you've had time to prepare and make good on that."

Remy nodded woodenly. Ororo grabbed Caliban, proppin' one arm over her shoulder as she made her way towards the door, head high, refusin' to show anythin' of what she felt. She stopped just inside the door way, but didn't turn.

"I hope…that this can come to a resolution. I hope that we can someday…be as we once were. I am sorry, sorry to you both that it must be this way."

She left us alone. The silence was heavy. He watched me, waitin'. Ah had never realized it befoah, but ah was usually the one who broke the silence.

Ah couldn't think of anythin'. Ah felt like ah was made of ice. Ah didn't know what to think or feel, how ah should respond, or how ah wanted to. Ah was frozen, incapable of even the slightest gesture.

The part of me that was so painfully and intimately aware of the truth wanted to reach out and shake him, make him answer every question, make him understand violently how much he had hurt me, changed me with this. The part of me that was still Caliban just wanted to hurt him.

The part of me that was familiar, that played by the rules in place an hour ago would have comforted him, reassured him. That part of me was as terrified as ever at the thought of him leavin', was petrified that someone was goin' to try an' hurt him, was agonized at the sight of his pain and disgrace.

Ah was trapped between them all, expressionless, silent…

His eyes stayed on me, begging me to say somethin' even though he didn't dare ask. Slowly, a glow came to his eyes. It built in small increments as the seconds ticked by.

The clock in the corner sounded louder than normal. The ticks sounded louder and louder, til they were almost a "thud". They sounded like nails bein' driven into a coffin.

Remy's eyes glowed all the brighter, and then shone as they brimmed with tears he blinked away furiously. He looked away foah a moment, controllin' himself.

When he looked back up his face was still shattered, but he held his jaw rigid, determined.

His voice was low, carefully controlled. "De part of me dat is secret…de part dat's a lie…yoah right, its bigger dan de part dat isn't. I'm not even half a person, once you do de math."

He took a tentative step toward me, took as deep of a breath as he could manage, and continued. "But my name is Remy Lebeau," his voice started shakin' as he continued. "De t'ieves guild is my real fam'ly. I like coffee, gumbo, live music, and irritating you to death. And I love-,"

He stopped because his voice cracked. If he said anythin' else, he would lose it.

Ah felt the force holdin' me back snap like a leash, and ah ran to him.

He grabbed me like ah was the only thing holdin' him to the world.

32


	27. Chapter 27

_Starlight2twilight – As per your request, here is "moar!!!" lol! Thank you for reading and your kind review. I'm glad this thing turned out to be as intense to read as to write. I think I chew my fingers down to nubs writing that! _

_Bologna 121 – I was really kinda concerned how the ending to the last chapter would come across reading. In my head it sounded unbearably tragic, but sometimes things don't translate the way you want on paper. Thanks for the reassurance, and I'm glad you like my Remy. Believe it or not, he's tough to write! What seems like quick comebacks reading takes me like an hour to come up with. Thanks for the review!_

_Red Skippy – geez I've been making you sob a lot lately! I'm sorry girlie! I'm really glad you enjoyed the last chapter, and the ending. That last chapter was the hardest thing to write ever. I lost sleep over it. Lol. But hopefully there won't be any more that emotionally demanding for a while. Whew! Thanks for reading and the review!_

_BlimeytheToad – Thank you so much for your feedback! That dang massacre is not easy to handle at all. It can very easily get disturbingly morbid, or you can water it down too much and make it bland. Fine line to walk, yes. I'm really glad it came across well. And you should've seen my face when I thought of that ending for it. There's a large part of this story that I simply make up as I go, and when I thought of that ending it was just…devastating. Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reading and the review!_

_Crack4Sure – Oh man! You read the last two chapters at the same time??? Those are the two most trying chapters so far! I apologize for any psychological scarring that may have occurred. I had like, two weeks to ease into it. I feel for you. I'm really glad you're enjoying it though! Thanks for reading and the review! I've missed you!_

_Shandy – I know. Seeing Remy being so…deflated the past two chapters has been a special endurance challenge for me. All I want to do is make Rogue just magically get control of her powers, run over to him and kiss him and love him til he feels better. But I can't. Ugh! Unfortunately I think all this bad stuff is necessary to make the good stuff count the way I want it to. I have read a fan fiction or two where it's like, a paragraph of arguing and then 300 pages of being in love, and it just doesn't work. It should, but doesn't. Sigh. But I do have some good, pleasant stuff planned before the end of this story. It won't all be misery, I promise. Thanks for reading and the review!_

Part 27: Long Road

My life had turned into a walking nightmare. Dere's no uddah way to describe it. Fo' de first time in a long time, I had started to see de man I wanted to be. Dat man, de man I was now, and de man I used to be had all collided and shattered each uddah. I couldn' tell which pieces were worth saving, or which ones could even be saved in de first place.

I felt like my life was made of threads; threads that held me where I was, gave me my identity and connected me to de people around me. One by one, dey were being snipped away and I was cut loose, thrashing around, unstable.

Storm was gone fo' a few days while I made preparations. I had saved her life. We had been friends. She was de one who brought me here in de first place, and now she refused to be around me. Snip.

Bobby glared at me whenever he saw me. He was just a kid, never serious. He normally lacked de emotional complexity to hold a decent grudge. He didn' let up on me an inch. Snip.

Scott held a team meeting. Suddenly, I wasn' invited. I wasn' part o' de team. Snip.

Dere was one thread dat was de most important of all, and dat was de one tying me to Rogue. Dis thread held, but it was frail, frayed, and threatened to snap. I was clinging to dat fo' dear life, but I couldn' put my trust in it.

My presence…it made her uneasy. She caught sight o' me, her shoulders tensed and she frowned. It hurt. Befo' she had always been aware of me, but it was because I excited her. She wanted to see what I was gon' do next. Now t'ings were different.

I created a war in her head. She tol' me she needed some time to come to terms wit' de t'ings she knew, had seen and felt. She said she was sorry, but it wasn' somet'ing dat she could do overnight. When she saw me, her mind spun. She didn' know what she felt, what she was supposed to feel, what she wanted to feel. She felt like I was someone different, someone she didn' know as well. I understood, but it still hurt.

I knew which conclusion was easiest, and I wondered how long it would take her to reach it. I was a liar, t'ief, renegade and murderer. I had not'ing to offer anyone. It terrified me, but I could do not'ing but wait.

I had to leave de mansion. I had tol' Storm I would. Moreover, between de two of us, Storm was de greater advantage fo' de Antarctica expedition. Dey needed her more dan dey needed me, especially now dat dey knew me better.

Storm had given me de conditions undah which I could return. In dis dere was some small hope. If I could comply wit' her, dere was a chance I could be forgiven. Dat I could stop running from dis mess at last, finally close de door. To do it, I would have to face de demons who got me into dis mess. I didn' know if I could handle seeing deir faces again, but I had to try.

I wasn' leaving Rogue, but I had to leave de X-men. I hadn' hoped she would come wit' me, jus' sorta wished she would. She wouldn'. She said she couldn' leave dem at a time like dis, when dey needed her mos'. And, in a barely a whisper, she admitted dat de time might be helpful.

De thread binding us swayed ominously. I jus' nodded.

It seems kinda funny dat I should be so reluctant to leave now, when not so long ago de impulse was all but irresistible. But really, it made a hard kind o' sense. De t'ings I had been running from: de ostracism, de judgment, de confrontation…de truth, well, dey had caught up wit' me at last. Running was no longer an option. Everyone who mattered knew. My legs weren't long enough to escape de scrutiny.

I couldn' find myself in all dis. I couldn' decide how to act, how to behave. I couldn' tell what was expected, what was de truth. I couldn' t'ink o' much to say to anyone, so I spent mos' o' my time on my own. I felt hollow.

I spent my time sleeping and packing my t'ings. I decided to take everyt'ing: leave no reminders, no scars from my presence here. And, it meant a little more time befo' it was really over.

I stretched de whole t'ing out long enough fo' de sun to rise and fall three times, and den I had no more excuses. My t'ings were packed, my ties cut, I sent a letter home to Henri, closed my P.O. box, everyt'ing was in order. At least it was night time. It made sense fo' me to leave first t'ing in de morning, rather than in de dark. Undah any uddah circumstances, time wouldn' have mattered. Now it was all I had.

I sat on my bed, smoking unabashedly. If someone wanted a reason to upbraid me, dey had plenty of ammunition. Might as well enjoy what lil comforts I could. Nothing a touch of febreeze couldn' cure. I kept my attention firmly on de present: de taste o' de cigarette, de beige o' de walls, de yield o' de bed. I wouldn' t'ink o' tomorrow. I wouldn' let my mind wander over de thousand tiny details o' de life dat had almos' been mine.

A soft knock came at de door. I turned my head at de sound but didn' answer. De knock sounded unsure, maybe dey'd lose deir nerve. A few seconds passed, and de knock came again, dis time louder.

"Who's dere?"

"It's me."

I sighed. "Come in."

Rogue came in quietly, closin' de door behind her. She kept her eyes on de floor.

"Hey."

I chuckled once at her awkward opening, but dere was no merriment in de sound "Hey."

We dat dere fo' a few moments, me watching her, waiting fo' some kind of cue; her keeping her eyes diligently away from me.

"Are you lost?" I asked.

"No. Sorry. Ah'm just tryin' to work up the nerve."

My curiosity peaked fo' jus' a second as I wondered what she could have in mind. Dese shaky starts normally mean some kind o' surprise. But de feeling evaporated quickly. It only took seconds fo' me to identify de most likely outcome.

It was de perfect time. She could make her escape now, and I'd be gone in de morning. Clean break. We could skip all de awkwardness.

My blood froze in my veins. I knew I had asked, made her promise. I had told her not to let me down easy. I told her I jus' wanted to know. I should play it cool, casual. I should take it in stride, or at least make her t'ink dat's what was happening.

But I t'ought I still had time. Time to wean myself off, to get used to not having her around. Time to let de distance come gradually so de blow would be softer. In my heart I knew de blow was always coming, but I needed time.

It was hard enough leaving dis place wondering if I would get to return some day. How could I bear it knowing as de gate grew smaller in my rearview mirror dat I had no reason to come back?

"Remy? Could you breathe please?"

Her eyes had wandered up to my face, I realized, and it was far from under control.

I tried to comply, to reset my features into a more acceptable expression as I drew in air that suddenly seemed acrid.

I should make dis easy fo' her, but I couldn' help but try to stave it off. "You sho' you wan' to do dis? Now?"

She nodded. "Ah don't know if ah'll get another chance."

I went back to not breathing, but tried to keep my face smooth. I don' t'ink it went very well, but it was de best I could do.

Her mouth turned down at de corners, concerned. "It's not that big a deal. Ah just feel a little silly ah guess."

Not dat big a deal? Is dat what it had come down to? A silly little fling? Couldn' she at least pretend dis had been a hard decision?

I jus' shrugged and looked away from her. I didn' know if I could hold my poker face.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Ok, here goes: ah know that ah haven't really been there foah ya, not as much as you hoped, and not as much as ah wanted to be. Ah'm sorry foah that, ah really am, but ah promise ah'm doin' the best ah can. You know all that already, ah know. Ah'm startin' to sound like a broken record with all the 'sorrys' ah've thrown at you the past few days-,"

I couldn' stand sitting through dis. "Jus' spit it out Rogue. Don' drag it out."

She nodded and took another breath. "Well, ah know ah haven't done anythin' to deserve it, but ah was hopin' ah could ask…kind of a favor."

My eyes flickered back up wit'out my willing dem to. Dat didn' flow well wit' what I was expecting. I was surprised to find a bashful half-smile on her face wit' jus' de faintest blush. She took my renewed eye contact as an invitation to continue.

"Ah know…ah know you'll be leavin' soon, and…ah know ah'm confused and that ah'm confusin' you and it'll be a while until ah figure everything out, but…well ah'm really gonna miss ya."

My blood thawed jus' a few degrees. My t'oughts slowed down.

"I'm gon' miss you too. You don' even know how much."

She smiled a little wider, feeling encouraged. "Ah thought maybe it'd be easier if ah could see you every now and again."

I raised one eyebrow quizzically. "Am I not allowed to visit?"

She thought about it. "Ah don't see why not. Ah mean nobody said you couldn't, but ah know ah'll see you a lot less and it'll probably be a while."

"Yo' losing me, chere."

She sighed. "Ok. It's cheesy. No way around it. But…ah was hopin' maybe ah could…get a picture of ya. You know, just somethin' to remember you by. Ah thought it might help me keep mah version of you separate from-,"

She cut off and looked up at me, her eyes growing a little wider as she realized she may have said too much.

I smiled cynically. "Caliban's?"

She cast her eyes downward as she edited herself. "Everyone else's."

I waited, but she seemed finished. "Is dat it? Really?"

She looked confused. "Yeah. What were you expectin?"

I wasn' about to answer dat question, so I pondered over her request. Rogue had been careful not to bring up Caliban or de t'ings she had seen from him, uddah dan what was strictly necessary. We bot' knew. In a way, we were bot' dere, and fo' dat reason neither of us wanted to say it out loud. Made it too real.

Still, she had hinted dat part of de struggle fo' her was because not all de t'oughts and feelings she had about me were hers. She couldn' tell which was which yet, so she didn' trust herself to talk to me.

She wanted a picture o' me. Innocent enough. I had no real reason to say no, but it seemed a little random…a little not her style. I tried to piece togeddah some sort o' reason. She had said it might help keep her version of me different from de uddahs. Dat seemed unlikely. If my presence still confused her, how could my image clarify?

Maybe it was somet'ing I jus' didn' undahstand. Wouldn' be de first time wit' dis girl after all. Still, if she was still tryin' to sort out all de conflicting accounts, maybe dat was hopeful fo' me.

Maybe she jus' wanted to remember me, like she said at first. Was dat so bad? No. I knew I'd be t'inking about her, probably more dan even I suspected. And maybe I could wonder, when I t'ought o' her, if she was looking at my picture and t'inking about me.

Dis is jus' getting tragic. What happened to me? Where was my bravado? My pride? Everyt'ing felt so heavy, and I didn' know how to lighten de mood.

I sighed wit'out t'inking.

"Look, if its gonna bother you or something…"

I smiled at her jus' a little bit, trying to fight off de little twinge o' hope threatening. "Non, s'alright. You wan' a picture, you got it. How you wan' do dis t'ing?"

"They have digital cameras you can check out in the library. Ah figure they've got the best light anyway."

I nodded. "When?"

She shrugged. "Whenever. Just befoah you leave."

"Den dere's no time like de present."

I took one last drag off my cigarette befo' tossing it out de window. Rogue gave me a look but didn' say anyt'ing. I stood up, straightened my jacket and swept my hand in front o' me, gesturing fo' her to lead de way.

We walked wit'out saying much. Seemed like everyone else was having as much trouble comin' up wit' conversation starters as I was. I walked wit' my hands in my pockets, gaze pointed directly in front o' me, and hoped dat we wouldn' run into anyone else on de way. Despite popular opinion, I can only take so much abuse.

De library was all but empty dis time o' night. Like mos' libraries, it was only rarely crowded, and dose times usually coincided wit' finals week. Hank sat at de front desk, flipping through a thick, yellowing book absently. He didn' look up as we entered, and I stopped a little ways back from de desk, letting Rogue go do de talking. I figured dat was probably best.

"Hey Hank. Ah was wonderin' if ah could check out a camera?"

Hank's eyes lifted and smiled at Rogue. He opened his mouth to speak, but noticed me standing a few paces back and cut off. He looked back and forth between us, trying to decide how to proceed.

I like Hank. He drives me crazy wit' his constant enthusiasm, but he's smart and kind and decent. Once he got me into de lab, we got along better dan I expected. He was encouraging, appreciative, patient and energetic. Moreover, he had a singular view of de world, a wise but somehow innocent mind. Conversations wit' Hank made time go by quicker, challenged me to t'ink more broadly.

Now Hank, babbling, bubbly Hank, couldn' t'ink o' anyt'ing to say to me. Snip.

"Um, Hank? Camera?" Rogue prodded gently, disliking my suddenly notorious reputation almos' as much as I did.

He snapped out o' it and turned his fingers to de keyboard. "Of course. Forgive my distraction. How long would you like to keep it?"

"Not long. Ah can have it back tonight if you want."

"No no, there's no rush. I'll put it on three day loan and you can return it early if you like."

He took a small camera from under the desk and handed it to Rogue.

"Thanks, Hank."

We turned to go, when Hank offered abashedly. "We haven't seen you lately, Gambit. How are you?"

I turned back to him, wondering how in de world to answer such a question.

I stuck to de classics. "Fine, t'anks. You?"

Hank smiled a little at de generic answer to a generic question. "I'm…fine also."

I smiled a little at him in spite o' myself. "See you around, Hank."

His smile faded. "Yes."

Rogue gave him a grateful look befo' we turned and made our way to one o' de corner study areas. Secluded by shelves of books, dese little cubby holes had a small desk and jus' a few chairs around dem, wit' one bright light overhead. We stopped here, and Rogue looked up at the light and then through the camera, trying to judge if dere was enough light.

After a second she seemed satisfied.

"You wan' me to do anyt'ing in particular?"

She shrugged, unsure o' herself. "Um, smile?"

I threw out a carefully posed and completely unbelievable grin dat probably looked more like a grimace. She sighed.

I relaxed and took a deep breath. I made my smile smaller, and hopefully more realistic. She put the camera up, clicked the button, and blinded me wit' de flash.

I blinked several times, trying to clear de dark spot dat danced right in de center o' my vision.

"Oh sorry! Ah didn' realize it was on." She looked down at de mini screen. "Well that one's a dud. Just a big white spot. Hang on, lemme try to figure this out."

She tried to navigate de camera's menu fo' a few moments, but judging from how her eyebrows kept sinking lower and lower, she wasn' having much luck. I held out my hand.

"May I?"

She handed it to me, and I quickly went through the settings and found de flash. I selected "none". Den I quickly held it up and snapped a shot.

"Hey!" she protested, but I showed her de image on de little screen, in focus, no flash.

She took the camera from me. "Oh. Thanks."

I put de plastic smile back on my face, and stood still as she tried de picture again. When it came up on de screen, she smiled a little at her success, but den frowned upon looking at it more closely.

"What's wrong?"

She didn' answer me fo' a while, and then started out unsurely. "Its…not you."

"Who showed up in de picture den? Charlie Chaplain?"

She sighed. "No, it's not like that. Hang on a second."

She kept her eyes on de little screen, t'inking. I waited. Finally, some kind o' idea lit her serious face, and she walked toward me.

I stayed put, even though her physical closeness was a commodity I had gone wit'out fo' de past few days. De absence only made it more potent. I was afraid if I moved wrong, she'd change her mind.

She stopped in front o' me and looked me dead in de face, steadying me wit' her gaze. I held my breath as she lifted one hand slowly, touching my cheek lightly befo' she gently stroked my hair a few times.

I smiled again, and dis time jus' de tiniest part o' it was real.

She showed me the little screen. The man in de picture looked like he might be at a funeral. My likeness had shoulders slumped, eyes unreadable…he was distant and defeated, and de false smile did nothing to lift de image.

"This isn't the Remy ah wanna remember. This isn't mah Remy."

I looked back into her eyes, which at de moment were piercingly green.

"I'm sorry, chere. I don' t'ink dere's anyt'ing I can do."

She t'ought about it fo' a minute, seeming unsure if it was really a good idea to do what she was about to do. De deliberation didn' last terribly long, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a gentle hug.

It wasn' romantic. Dis wasn' de time fo' dat. Dis was her being my friend. She had always been dat. I hugged her back, and she spoke while we were wrapped up togeddah.

"Look, ah know things are awful right now. Ah don't know what's gonna happen. Ah'm not sure ah wanna know. But ah do know that things can't just stay like this. Everything changes, Rem. And this won't last forever. There's some kinda resolution right around the corner. Ah don't know if it's good or bad, but at least it guaranteed to end. Once that happens, we can all start movin' on from it, get over it. Everything's wrong right now, but yoah not gonna be miserable foah the rest of yoah life. You'll find a way to be happy again, no matter what. It'll be baby steps. First you'll realize that you haven't even thought about it in an hour, then a day. You'll wake up one mornin' and it'll be a distant memory. Yoah gonna be ok."

I held her tighter. "I hope yo' right."

She squeezed once, den pulled away. "Have ah ever been wrong?" She raised an eyebrow, challenging me to answer.

I smiled. "Course not."

She smiled back at me broadly. "There, that's mah Remy. Now jus' forget all this other crap foah a few minutes, just long enough foah me to get a picture, ok? Pretend it's a normal day, where ah'm being all sweetness to you and yoah drivin' me crazy foah no reason."

"Dat is not a normal day."

She snapped a shot while I was mid sentence, retorting, "It is from where ah'm standin'."

I felt a grin pulling up at de corners. "Well apparently, yo' standing in an alternate reality. I'm de charming one. Yo' de one wit' a temperament problem."

She snapped anuddah shot. "Yeah, smoking in yoah room and flickin' butts out the window is a real winnin' trait."

"Apparently so. Got you feeling all nostalgic at least."

"Swamp rat."

"River rat."

"You'll never get that to stick. Swamp rat just rolls off the tongue better." She did a double-take as she realized de horrible set up she'd jus' provided.

"I'd be willing to test dat theory." I winked at her. She snapped another shot, red face scowling.

"The things ah put up with…"

"My heart goes out to yo' suffering."

She stuck her tongue out, but said not'ing. Point me.

"So am I gon' get an even trade fo' all dis cooperation? Or should I jus' have my agent send you de bill?"

She raised her eyebrows. "You want mah picture?"

"Seems fair."

"Well it's not. It was mah idea. And yoah more photogenic."

"Sometimes, but I'm not exactly dressed to impress here."

It was true. My clothes were wrinkled, my hair was a little disheveled, and I was…less dan clean shaven. Normally I pride myself on showmanship, but dat hadn't been on my priority list lately.

"Ah think the rugged look works just fine foah ya."

I rolled my eyes. She snapped annudah picture. "We're getting off subject." I darted forward, snatched de camera and immediately started snapping away.

"Hey! Stop that! Geez!" She tried to grab it back, but quickly realized she couldn'. So she crossed her arms over her chest and stood there looking grumpy.

I stopped. "I admit dat's de look I get from you mos' often, but s' not quite de you I was hoping to remember."

She put her arms at her sides, smiled broadly, and her voice was chipper when she said, "Jerk."

I laughed and snapped a shot. We carried on dis way fo' a while, until we heard a little voice.

"Um, if you want, I could take a picture of you guys together."

Lil' Jubilee took a few paces forward, holding up a book defensively.

"Sorry, I was doing a little research, waiting to put my book back. Couldn't help but overhear."

Her face was being deliberately friendly. I felt my good humor withdraw a little bit, still defensive.

Rogue looked a little embarrassed, glancing back and forth between us, trying to get a read on de situation.

Jubilee shrugged. "Just a thought."

"Um, sure." Rogue handed her the camera, and came to stand by me.

We stood awkwardly side by side, not touching and smiling dumbly.

Jubilee was not patient wit' our complex emotional states. "Oh come on. You're together aren't you? Friggen look that way. This isn't 'American Gothic'."

Rogue and I smiled at Jubilee, grateful fo' her seeming normalness, and den at each uddah. I put one arm around her shoulders, and Jubilee snapped a shot befo' we could look back.

She looked at the mini screen gleefully. "Definitely a keeper. I'm a genius."

She snapped a couple more, but I had to ask. I don't know if it's her youth or disposition, but it's easier to be frank wit' Jubes. "Jubilee, why are you being nice?"

Shrugging, she snapped anuddah shot. Rogue pressed, "Really. You know everyone else is so upset. No point you gettin' on anyone's bad side."

"Look, I don't know how I'm supposed to act, ok? Everyone's freaked out, but no one seems to really understand what happened. Believe it or not, I have a lot of my own stuff going on right now: I can't keep track of everyone else's drama. I'm just going to mind my own business and try not to ask too many questions. So don't start in on me. Here, that oughta be enough to work with."

Jubilee tossed the camera to me, put her book on the shelf, and den turned and walked away.

Rogue shook her head and looked at me. "Ah can't tell if that girl is really simple, or really complicated."

"She and Logan were made fo' each uddah."

Rogue chuckled. "Well thanks foah the pictures. Ah'll get put them on the computer tonight and see if ah can't get 'em printed off."

"Don't you delete anyt'ing."

She put one hand behind her back. "Ah would never."

I took a deep breath befo' using my secret weapon. "Please."

"Dangit. That's cheatin'."

I smiled. "Whatever works."

As our little appointment wound to a close, de brief but blissful sense o' denial started to shimmer and fade. Dere was a reason we were doing dis: tomorrow I was leaving. We would be separated, and no one knew if we would ever really come back togeddah. Our eyes locked in quiet acknowledgment of dis fact.

In a way, our short game of pretend was helpful. It was relieving to get my mind off t'ings, even if only fo' a few minutes. It was comforting to be near Rogue, have her close, even jus' one moment. I knew dat if t'ings went bad, maybe someday down de road I'd be t'ankful fo' dis one last glowing memory, dat maybe it'd be all the sweeter because I'd known it was ending, dat dis was de last time: I'd appreciated it on a whole new level.

In anuddah way, it made everyt'ing worse, sharper. Dis moment was a goodbye. She had dug down deep to give me dis. She'd swallowed all her doubts and fears to give me just a few more minutes. I was grateful, but it wasn' enough, nowhere near. Dat was selfish, maybe, but true. I felt de first panicky pangs of desperation try to surface.

Most o' me wanted to beg and plead pathetically, but de smaller, stronger part knew dat what was best fo' me wasn' necessarily best fo' Rogue or anybody else. She would decide what was best fo' her and let me know when she was ready. I hoped I would be ready befo' she was.

At least she wanted my picture. Dere was some small optimism in dat. Not enough to really be hope, but still.

She broke the gaze first. "Well, it's gettin' late. Lots to do tomorrow."

"Yeah."

We stood a moment longer, and her face started to look conflicted again. Finally she spoke. "Ah'll see you tomorrow, right?'

"I don' know. Do you wan' to? Dis isn' a bad place to leave t'ings."

She considered. "Ah think…ah'll let you decide."

I nodded. "D'accord."

Our words hung briefly, and then she started to turn to go. Some o' de t'ings I was trying to suppress snapped all de sudden and I hurried to stop her.

She looked up at me, startled and concerned, but I couldn' stop myself as I pulled her into my arms tightly.

"I love you, Rogue. I'm gon' miss you all de time. I know you got to do what's best, and I know you don' know how you feel right now. I don' know what you'll decide, but if you ever need me, or wan' me, even if its ten years from now, I'll be dere. I'll be waiting."

I kissed her hair fiercely, and then released her abruptly. I couldn' trust myself much farther than this, so I kept my eyes on my feet as I hurried away and back to my room.

I took my jacket off and forced my body to lay still on de sheets, hoping my mind would follow.

I laid in de bed, and finally surrendered, let my mind caress all de memories I would miss. I knew dere would be plenty o' time fo' dis once I left. I had told myself I would wait til' I was at least out o' sight. But de time wit' Rogue had left me too raw to argue wit' myself.

I t'ought o' de thrill o' de missions. Sure dey weren't much fun in de moment, but de adrenaline, de rush: it was fun to look back on. It felt good when it was over, to be dere among friends. Somet'ing about someone saving yo' tail makes you more fond o' dem.

I t'ought about Leslie and Jack: people I'd saved. I might uddahwise be a black mass o' sin, but dose two bright spots no one could take away from me.

I t'ought o' de people here: smoking wit' Logan, programming wit' Hank, competing in de danger room. I t'ought o' de way Bobby's face twisted into a wicked grin when we t'ought up de exploding ice wall. I t'ought about de way de Professor looked at me, like he really expected great t'ings.

I t'ought about Rogue. Everyt'ing.

I had decided befo' I even got back dat I wouldn' see her in de morning. I'd leave quietly.

By sun-up, her pull had gotten de better o' me. She was becoming an addiction. Dis could really be de end o' everyt'ing. It probably was. Shouldn' I get every moment I could? Could anyone begrudge me dat?

De sun came around too quickly, ever my enemy. I had no more excuses. Dis was it. My own personal apocalypse.

I had rented a car a day or two ago. Generic SUV. Not'ing to draw too much attention. Jus' somet'ing wit' horsepower dat sits high.

I started carrying my bags downstairs. I put dem in de trunk, and den pulled out onto de drive so as to not block de uddah cars. People would be up soon, and I didn' wan' to force anyone to say anyt'ing to me. I decided it probably wouldn' hurt anyt'ing to grab some coffee, since I hadn' been sleeping well lately and it was a long drive, but Rogue rushed out to meet me befo' I made it back inside.

I almos' smiled.

"T'ought you were gon' let me decide?"

"Yeah, well ah owed you some pictures." She shoved her hand out, holding a white envelope.

I took dem from her hesitantly. "Oh. T'anks. I almos' forgot."

She smiled. "And ah couldn't stand it."

I smiled back. We jus' looked at one anuddah, not sure what to say.

Bout den, Logan came tearing out de front door, followed closely by Scott, Jean and Jubilee.

"Logan stop! You can't do this! The team needs you. This is no time for a temper tantrum!" Scott called, tried to keep up.

Logan headed over to my car, plowing between me and Rogue. We bot' took a step back, and looked at each uddah confused. He jerked the trunk open violently, and threw a green sack inside.

"Please, Logan think about what you're doing. No one wants you to leave!" Jean pleaded wit' him.

Rogue turned to Logan. "Yoah leavin? Now?"

Logan was curt. "Yep."

Rogue looked at him wide-eyed, "Why? Are ya gonna be gone long?"

He snorted. "That's not up to me."

Scott's tone was unforgiving. "Logan's seems to have some kind of ethical dilemma that he thinks is more important that the team and the people we're trying to save."

"No one asked fer yer opinion, and I don't care fer yer attitude. You ready or not, Cajun?"

I jumped, uttering an ungraceful, "What?!"

Rogue jumped back in, "Whoa whoa whoa everybody. Why do we have to be so rash? Why can't we work something out? What's the problem?"

Logan kept his eyes on Scott. "Gambit's the problem."

Isn't he always?

Jubilee groaned, "Logan disagrees with Gambit being suspended from the team, so he's being totally lame about it and trying to leave. Seriously Logan, don't you think this is kind of overkill? You'll accomplish more by staying here and annoying Scott."

Rogue looked at Logan wide-eyed, and then uttered her own "What?!"

Logan slammed de trunk door and stalked over to de group.

"Let me say this once, using small words, so you can all understand. If we're gonna start throwing X-men out based on what they did before they got here, then we're down half the team. Yeah, Gambit's done some bad stuff. Rogue was with the Brotherhood. Storm was a pickpocket fer cryin' out loud! I'm missing half my memories and I still know I'm no saint. I don't believe in double standards. If this is really yer decision, then me leaving is just saving everyone some time."

Jean piped up, "Logan, it's not just that. There's also the conflict of interest between he and Ororo to consider."

"Don't all of you hide behind Storm! She made her decision, she gave the ultimatum, let her eat it! Storm's just the most convenient excuse. I thought this was a safe place for mutants to come and get a fresh start, as long as they came here in good faith. I was wrong. This is a place where good little boys and girls get their reward and sneer down their noses at the rest of us because we've had tougher choices. This place isn't what I thought it was, and I have no business here."

"Seriously Wolvie, I get why you're upset and everything, but can't you at least wait until after we get back from Antarctica? I mean, we need you! What am I supposed to do with you gone?" Jubilee seemed genuinely upset by the t'ought o' him leaving.

Logan's face softened as he looked at her. "Look kid, it's simple. Soon as Scotty and Chuck come to their senses, they'll ask Gumbo here to come back. Soon as that happens, I'll be back too. Hopefully they get it together before the Antarctica trip, but if they don't, bring me back a penguin. In the meantime, you got other friends."

He looked meaningfully at Rogue. Rogue watched him fo' a moment, and den nodded. She jerked her chin subtlely at me, and Logan nodded.

"Logan, you're crossing the line with this." Scott tossed at him harshly.

Logan ignored him, walking around de front o' de car and opening de passenger door.

"I'll ask you again, you ready or not, Cajun?"

I turned. "Logan, I don' wan' to cause all dis. Yo' happy here."

"You didn't cause anything. One-eye over there did. I'm looking forward to the thought of him sleeping on that. Now shut up and get in."

Logan got in and shut de door behind him. Scott turned and stormed back toward de house. Jean stared almos' longingly after Logan fo' jus' a moment longer, and den followed him. I didn' know what to do.

"Go on, Remy. It's no use when he's made up his mind," Rogue said gently.

Jubilee stepped up on the other side o' her, jaw set. "Men are such scum."

Rogue smiled apologetically as she put her arm around Jubes.

I was still reluctant to go, but I knew now was de time. "T'anks, Rogue. Fo' everyt'ing."

Her face turned serious. "You too, Remy."

Logan leaned over and honked the horn, making everyone jump.

"You big jerk!" Jubilee yelled at him through de glass.

I looked at her fo' one more second before I got in de car and cranked it up.

20


	28. Chapter 28

_Bologna 121 – Your reviews always make me smile, but that last one was unfair. I don't know if this seems weird, probably does, but I was really touched that you were thinking about my story yesterday on the way home. That was an enormous compliment. I feel like I should send you a card or something, but I fear a simple thank you will have to do for the moment. Lol. I'm really glad you liked the camera scene. I was worried it would seem too forced for them to be lighthearted amidst everything going on, but I just can't stand torturing them for long. Thanks for reading and the review!_

_Gidgeygirl – Thank you for your kind review! I'm glad you're backing Logan. He's just…awesome…all the time. I swear, it's hard for me to take credit for some things. Logan is such an amazing character its like he writes himself. I go to get a cup of coffee, and when I come back there's a new paragraph of Logan dialogue, magically. Lol. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy this latest installment!_

_Red Skippy – lol! I'm glad you liked the penguin line. I laughed really hard when I thought of it, but I'm easy to please so that's not saying much. He's such a smart aleck, but in a totally different way than our Cajun hero. I'm as excited as anyone to see how they get along in the coming chapters! Thank you for always reading and reviewing. I'm always excited to hear what you think!_

_Shandy – I am so happy you're still enjoying the story, even though the relationship is in a bit of an awkward phase. I must confess, one of the reasons this story seems so unpredictable is because I do very little planning. I mean, I have some key elements lined up in my head, but a lot of the little scenes and dialogue are very spur of the moment. I find I get bored if I know all the answers before I actually go to the trouble of writing them down. Lol. I'm glad all the improvisation seems to come across as natural and realistic. Your reviews always make me breathe easier, so thank you immensely. So yes, I am very excited to see how Logan and Remy get along. I imagine I'll be laughing a lot. And yeah, part of my motivation for sending Logan is to prevent this story from sinking into a pure depression. I hope it works out the way I hope. Remy and Rogue are parted, which I hate, but I'm hoping our peripheral characters act as mild painkillers so we won't feel it as hard. Thanks as always for reading and for your review!_

_SparklesInTheSun – your enthusiasm made me laugh a long time! I think you did leave me one other review a while back, and I'm very pleased to get another one! You overwhelm me with all this praise. I know you can't tell through typing, but I'm actually having some trouble coming up with some way of responding. I'm really glad you seem to have such extreme confidence in all the different elements of this story coming together. I have to say, I've been writing it so long that when I look back to the early parts some stuff makes me cringe, but I really enjoy writing it. I swear I won't abandon it or leave it unfinished. I need this to be complete as much as anyone, though I have to admit I'll be a little sad when it's all said an done. But we have a while to go before that happens! Yay! Thank you for reading and your kind review. I hope this latest chapter lives up to your lofty expectations. _

Part 28: No Quarter

This was a scene out of a bad movie. Me and Jubilee, standin' in the driveway, watching the SUV fade out of sight with our men inside. At least ah wasn't out here alone. With Jubilee here, it was at least easier to pretend ah wasn't "that girl".

"You know what really pisses me right off?" Jubilee started after the dejected silence had stretched long enough, "A part of me is really surprised they left us. Stupid. Of course they did. It sounds exactly like something they would do."

Her feelings were all foah Logan, but she threw out the plural in an effort to include me. We were some kinda friends, but we both knew we preferred our men to each other. Jubilee took foah granted that we were feeling the same things: we needed each other, while they were gone at least. Ah sighed, wishin' mah feelings were as simple as Jubilee's: anger, sadness, worry, sour grapes. Those feelings were enough foah anybody.

The truth was it had taken everythin ah had, mah very best effort to create that last memory foah me and Remy. In a way, our moment in the library had been wonderful. In another way, it was dishonest. Both of us had been performing, and ah don't know who was hidin' more.

"Well, look on the bright side…at least they didn't run off alone, like they usually do."

Ah had to admit, most of mah feelings contradicted each other and confused me, but at least one of them had been clear: ah was relieved that Logan was with Remy. Sure, ah felt like more than half mah life had just driven off with both of them leavin' at once, and ah had no guarantees that either one of them would enjoy the company, but ah knew that Remy was safe with Logan around.

In some small way, this knowledge was helpful. It meant that ah really did care about what happened to Remy.

Ah know it seems callous foah me to have even wondered whether ah did or not, but let me give you a peek inside mah head at this time.

Even if ah hadn't known any of the people involved, the vision that had spewed out of Caliban's memory was sickening, terrifying, and a bunch of other adjectives no one's thought of yet. But it wasn't just havin' to watch, but experience it.

On some rational level, ah knew that it would take me a while to fully separate Caliban from me. It always takes a while to make some room foah somebody new, and his personality was at its strongest when ah absorbed it. Foah this reason, and until ah was confident in mah control of him, ah couldn't trust mahself.

At least that battle was familiar-ish. It didn't help that whatever feelings really were mine, they were some of the most intense and complicated ah had ever experienced, and the person ah absorbed was in a similar predicament. Ah wondered how there was even space in mah skull foah everythin. I went from loving Remy, to hating him, to feeling like he didn't deserve to be loved, to feeling guilty foah not loving him more. I would feel mad, then betrayed, then sickened, then just lost, alone and jaded, all because of Remy, the very person ah wanted to come and hold me because ah was feelin' down.

Ah had determined that ah could not in good conscience take any action at all until ah sorted it all out. Problem was, ah didn't want to.

The Professor had called me into his office yesterday. It was just after ah figured out that Remy would be leavin' the next day. Ah was surprised: the Professor had been so busy we hadn't seen much of him lately. When ah went in, ah barely recognized the place, what with the mess. The Professor's normally on the meticulous side. Now there were papers stacked everywhere, computers hotwired together, all running. It looked like a war zone.

Ah had sat down in front of the next, keeping mah professional face on. Ah figured it was some kind of mission-related summons, and ah was determined to keep at least the X-woman part of mah life on a good note.

Ah was surprised when the Professor rolled over near me, and looked almost sheepish.

"Rogue, I feel like I am making a terrible breach in etiquette in doing this, but I find I am unable to restrain myself."

Ah raised mah eyebrows, unsure of what to expect. "What's on yoah mind?"

Groaning, he mumbled, "What indeed? I must confess, my concern is more with your thoughts."

"Um…ah'm a little confused right now, if ya wanna know. Did you have somethin' more specific?"

He nodded, bashful again, like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "You must understand, Rogue, I am truly sorry. I do my very best to respect privacy and exercise control, but I am only human, after all, and there are times when even I-,"

He sounded like he was getting ready to spin off on a Beast-like tangent, so ah cut him off. "Xavier? You don't have to sugah-coat things foah me. Just…well, tell me what's up in words that ah might actually be able to understand."

Ah watched him, startin to feel apprehensive at his stress level. The Professor is normally calm by nature, what could have him actin' so guilty? And what did it have to do with me?

"Well…I would just like you to keep in mind that my intrusion was completely accidental, and I apologize for any inconvenient it may cause. I debated whether to address the issue with you or merely keep it to myself, but I couldn't ignore everything in good conscience, if there was something I could do."

"Professor? Words ah can understand?"

He chuckled a little, almost nervously. "I do apologize. My apprehensiveness is making you ill-at-ease, which serves neither of us. But you can be a bit…sensitive about your personal space."

"Um, at the risk of soundin' impatient: less with the apologizin', more with the explainin', perhaps?"

He sighed and clasped his hands together, forcin' his words to stop until he'd gotten a better handle on them. His eyes told me he wanted to go right on apologizin', but he managed to stop himself. Ah tried to make mah expression more approachable. Didn't think ah'd see the day when ah needed to reassure the good Professor. Weird.

"You see Rogue, I…unwittingly and unintentionally stumbled onto some of your thoughts."

Ah closed mah eyes. Ah didn't want to talk. Maybe when ah opened them he'd be gone. He wasn't.

"You see Rogue, there is always an element of human error in controlling our mutant abilities. I am happy to say, particularly with the nature of my gifts, that mine are usually well in hand. But essentially, control means learning to ignore the hundreds of little dialogues within my…other hearing. But Rogue…I'm sorry…but lately you've been shouting. I've been doing my best to ignore you, not to intrude, but the sound is jarring. I've been nearly tempted to cover my ears, as though it would help."

Ah steeled mah face. Ah wasn't mad, but ah simply couldn't talk about this. Not yet, and not here.

"Ah'm sorry."

"No no! You have nothing to apologize for. It's not something you did deliberately, not something you can help."

"Well Ah'll try to keep it down. Is there anything ah can do to make it easier foah you?"

His eyes went wide as though startled, "You're trying to make the cacophony in your mind easier for me?"

Ah shrugged.

"Rogue I did not call you here to give you a wordy 'shh". I asked you to come because I thought I might be able to help."

"Professor, ah understand that you didn't mean to overhear. Ah'm not mad, but ah can't do this right now. Ah'm sorry, ah just can't."

The Professor interlaced his fingers and put them in his lap. "What exactly is it you're unwilling to do?"

Ah fixed him with mah gaze and said bluntly. "Talk."

He nodded. "I expected as much, but that's not what I was referring to."

Ah cocked one eyebrow. "Yoah confusin' me again."

"Most of what I overheard…is simply not my business. I am perfectly aware that I am not one of the premier people you would turn to for a heart-to-heart."

"So Ah'm here because?"

He took a deep breath. "There is one recurring theme that I think I can address in other ways, if you are willing to accept my help. You are frustrated by Caliban. He masks all your thoughts. I believe I could help you isolate his influence, so you can better handle…everything else."

Ah answered too quickly. "No. Thanks but no. You've got enough on yoah plate. I can deal with this on mah own."

He cocked his head to one side. "Rogue, you and the rest of the X-men…you are my X-men. You have priority over anything else. You need not concern yourself with my effort in all this. I am more than happy to provide any help I can. In fact, it would do me a great good to have you in better condition."

"Because of the mission?" Ah asked, a slight note of dread creepin' into mah voice as ah wondered if he would try to talk me into it, knowin' that if ah was a liability to the rest of team, ah couldn't argue.

He seemed almost frustrated. Ah respected him foah that. Ah was confusin' him, and though he could easily go after the answers he wanted at any time, he waited foah me to explain.

"No. Because I have a vested interest in helping those I care about."

Ah chewed mah lip. How could ah possibly explain this?

"Thanks Professor…really. You've always been kinder to me than ah deserve. Ah appreciate you wantin' to help and all…"

"But you won't accept my help in this."

Ah looked at the ground guiltily.

"You know I will never force you to do something you are averse to. But...your thoughts Rogue. I am just hearing the reverberation, and it is…difficult to bear. I don't understand."

Ah twisted mah fingers. Ah couldn't find the words. If Caliban were contained, everythin would undoubtedly be clearer. Why shouldn't ah want that?

"Professor…Ah don't know how to explain. Ah know normally you would be opposed…and ah know its not a pleasant place to be right now…but ah'd appreciate if you just read mah mind. Ah don't know how to put mah thoughts into words."

He considered this foah a moment, frowning. "Are you certain? You don't have to answer me, I was not trying to interrogate."

"Ah know. Ah just…figure you deserve some kind of explanation foah what you've heard."

He looked at me hard, judging. Suddenly his body relaxed, and his eyes unfocused. It lasted only a moment befoah he started and leaned back suddenly in his chair, gripping the arm rests.

He shook his head and gave me an apologetic smile. "I see." He pondered a moment longer. "I…understand."

Ah nodded. "Thank you." Ah rose to go.

"I will not bring it up again, but if you should change your mind…when you are ready for the answer, Rogue, my offer stands."

His words felt like ice water. "Ah appreciate that. Ah'll let you know."

Yes, with Caliban gone everythin' would be clearer…and ah didn't know if ah would still love Remy.

Ah wanted to. Ah had put a little distance between us, because it felt wrong to go through the motions of being close and supportive when ah couldn't give it mah all. Remy was perceptive, ah figured it would hurt him worse to know ah was pretending.

But still, when Remy was around, some part of me loved some part of him. It wasn't a happy feeling: it hurt now, but ah felt like mah life depended on that desperate pull. The confusion was infuriatin', but ah worried that with it gone…everythin' else would disappear too.

Ah had to figure out what ah felt, but ah wasn't ready to know. Ah wanted desperately to care about Remy. He had become the biggest and brightest part of mah life.

But in an instant, he had also become the darkest.

His presence here still made the part of me that was attached hum. It occurred to me that him leavin' might make it go quiet foah good. The thought made mah throat tighten and mah eyes sting. That's the stupid thing about tears, once you let a few out, they get harder to control.

That's when ah thought of it: if only there was a way to still see him. To be with him, sometimes. If only ah had a picture.

Ah had no right to ask him, what with havin' been so off lately while he needed me most desperately. At one point ah had been happy to have this opportunity to prove mahself to him. Ah had failed miserably.

The scheme had come together in mah head. Ah figured it would do us both good to have one last memory of what we had hoped to be. Maybe it would be enough to carry us through this next patch. Ah had swallowed everythin else, and given him that.

Ah meant to leave it there, but that small part of me was desperate to see his face the next mornin'. Unfortunately ah couldn't swallow all the other stuff a second time, and ah had been unsure of what the goodbye would be.

In a way ah was grateful foah Logan. He had interrupted it. The group setting had made it impossible to have emotional honesty of any kind.

"Some bright side. This just plain ol' sucks, Rogue." Jubilee had set her dial to "fume", and was perfectly content to stay there foah now. Ah understood. If anyone's guilty of using anger to cover everythin' else…

Ah sighed and punched her in the shoulder amicably. "Looks like it's just you an me now, Jubes. Guess we have no choice but to go back in and get back to work."

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to the danger room to kick Logan's virtual butt."

Ah laughed. "Good luck with that, sugah."

As we went back through the door of the mansion, ah took one last look down the road. Ah knew it was gonna hit me. Ah knew there was no time, and nothin' ah could do. Ah had to dedicate everythin' ah had to Antarctica, to the mission. Bury mahself.

Ah should be used to it. Ah had been, at one point. But it was hard to pull mah mask back up, frayed as it was at the edges.

Ah knew that at some point everythin' ah was wrestlin' with would settle, pull, and finally snap. Ah didn't know what would be left when that happened. Ah was terrified of it, remembering all the other times mah life had disintegrated befoah mah eyes, and knowin' that this could be worse than all of 'em put together.

But not yet. Not yet.

Ah let the numbness of that empty road settle down on me, imagined it spreadin' like anesthetic through mah arms, legs, mind, heart and soul. Ah let it harden there like cement, vaguely amused that Antarctica was the least challenging problem ah had to face.

Ah held onto that feeling, lettin' it carry me through the next few days. It slipped once.

Ororo came back, and brought a guest.

We held a team meeting to debrief on our various kinds of progress. Hank had inadvertently triggered one of the processors security protocols: he and Mystique were tryin' to undo it with limited success.

British and American governments had made a sort of peace gesture, alerting their facilities in Antarctica to cooperate with us. They would monitor our mission and strategize based on our findings. They, along with Russia and Japan had agreed to give us a limited financial reimbursement as security contractors. Magneto had thinly veiled his contempt at the half gesture, but any help was good help at this point. The Professor had managed to keep all contractual agreements tied to him individually, separate from the school.

We had chartered two DASH-7 aircrafts to take us from the Falkland Islands to the base, seeing as we simply lacked space and resources to transport our team, our allies, and the Brotherhood. The Blackbird's modifications were complete, and it was currently being shipped down. Scott would be the pilot for the Blackbird, he'd been training in flight simulations with our other two pilots, Mystique and Pietro.

Jean had been busy calling in all the peripheral people we had. Betsy, Warren, Bishop and some names ah didn't know as well, like Forge and Polaris. She hadn't gotten all the responses yet, but she was feeling optimistic.

Ororo walked in, interrupting with an announcement. She was steeled to the gills, usin' a regal manner that she had probably acquired as a goddess in South Africa. Those who knew 'Ro well knew this was largely a defense mechanism: it was just a good one. Her stance was one that made lesser men cower.

"I understand that my association with the Morlocks has interfered with my role with the X-men. I make no apology for this, only acknowledge it. I have cost us a valuable resource at a time that we need to pool everything we have, and for that, I do apologize. I know many of you are unable to reconcile my decision, and while I respect your objection, it is final. However, in a gesture of good faith I will try to minimize the negative impact on the team. I have brought another set of hands to aid us in our expedition."

With the ring of authority in her voice, she stepped aside.

A woman stepped up reluctantly on the other side. She was medium height, wiry, with a decided aggressive manner about her. Her magenta hair was close cropped, and her tattered clothes were further abused by the ivory spikes jutting out of her back.

Ah recognized her and felt mah jaw drop. "You brought _her_ here??"

Ororo fixed me with a glare like lightening. "She is the best fighter I have. It is a great honor that she is offered." She turned her gaze, no more friendly, to Marrow. "And considering that the Morlocks must share me with the Xavier Institute, I think it is wise they come to know better what exactly it is we do here, and what kind of people we are."

Scott rubbed his forehead with two fingers. "She hasn't had any training. Combat is all well and good, but she's not prepared for the climate. We've got enough to deal with without having an extra liability."

"Then let her handle communications, or take up excess duties here at the mansion. Or give her a run through the danger room and see how she fares. You lead this team, Scott. Use her however you see fit."

Scott looked pointedly at me befoah turning back to 'Ro with a look that seemed to ask "are you stupid?" Ah worked on getting mah mouth to close.

"I have no assurances that she can be trusted, Storm. This just isn't the time. If the Morlocks want to make it up to us, we'll deal with that later."

"We have no assurances that we can trust the Brotherhood either, Scott. That hasn't seemed to exclude them."

"Ok, you want me to be blunt? Gambit's not the only one affected by the Morlocks' presence here. We already lost him and Logan on their account. I can't lose any more key members, and having her here will jeopardize more than we stand to gain."

Storm retained her defiant posture, mincing no words. "Perhaps we should just ask Rogue what she thinks before we assume she can't handle it."

Scott's jaw clenched painfully tight as he glowered at Ororo, but he couldn't argue. After a few tense seconds, they turned to look at me.

Ah didn't know what to say, put on the spot like that. Ah tried to put some kind of logic in order, but befoah ah could, Jubilee jumped in.

"This is such crap! Why do the damn Morlocks get seniority around here all the sudden? We have no obligations to them, how about they stay on their turf, stop causing problems for us, and Storm can pick a stupid side, since she's the one all tangled up in their weird sci-fi politics, rather than making all of us do it!"

Storm turned the full force of her glare on Jubilee, who stuck her chin out defiantly, but leaned back in her chair all the same.

"How about those of us who know something about this situation come to consensus, and those who don't refrain from speaking."

Jubilee sneered, but all attention came back to me.

"Rogue, say the word, and this matter will be closed," Scott threw out for Storm's benefit.

Ah floundered around foah some kinda answer, happy to see that mah only options regardless of what ah wanted was bound to piss someone off. Ah must've really done a number in a past life to have karma this bad.

Ah remembered with no small measure of relief that Marrow was not in mah version of the massacre, but still…with Remy gone, and her here, would it tip the scales in their favor? Would it be easier foah me to remember the version of him that ah hated rather than the one ah loved? Marrow certainly had no lost love foah Remy: she'd taken violent action against him when they showed up on the lawn.

It occurred to me suddenly that Marrow had said nothin' this whole time. No one had asked her a single question, they just gave the matter entirely to me.

Ah addressed her. "Do you really want to be here?"

Storm cast a glance back at her, one ah couldn't see. Marrow's lips pressed into a hard line.

"I want to be wherever my leader sends me. I am loyal to my people."

Totally unhelpful.

"But this won't be easy, no matter what task yoah given."

She looked at me as though ah were bein' redundant. Ah watched her, tryin' to get some sense of the woman, figure out if she was someone ah could deal with or not. Her eyes had a bright spark of intelligence, but there was nothin' soft or invitin' about her. This was all the more strange because somethin' in me expected there to be. Completely illogical.

All at once, ah realized that there was somethin' familiar about her. Ah scanned quickly, superficially through mah false memories. Ah didn't remember any particular reference to her from Caliban. His personality was somewhere though, maybe that was responsible foah the strange draw ah felt towards this otherwise completely abrasive stranger.

Ah tried to think of a question that might get a more telling answer. "How do you feel about us?"

"I don't know you."

"Yes, but you know of us. You know what we stand foah. You know the kinds of things we do. What do you think of us?"

She watched me, weighin' me with her eyes, obviously suspicious. She was a little paranoid, ah thought.

"I think you're stupid. Stupid to think that the thing you want can be accomplished. But your stupidity compels you to do good things for mutants. It would be self-defeating for me, as a mutant, to dislike you."

We watched each other warily, like two predators in the wild, each wondering what the other was capable of, what their motivations were.

After a time of measurin' each other, ah decided to ask the question no one wanted to, the one that made all the difference. Ah pulled mah numbness back around me as thickly as ah could manage, hopin' it would be enough to shield me through this.

"You know that…Gambit was part of our team." Ah tried to say his name without picturin' him. Ah had enough to figure out with this woman standin' in front of me. Ah couldn't handle the Remy tug-o-war at the same time.

"I know that you did not know him like you thought. You removed him. I have no reason to hold a grudge for your ignorance."

"Yes, but not everyone here agreed with the decision. He may not be part of the team, but there are those of us here who are still his friends."

She grimaced, but said nothing. Storm held her in a steady gaze.

"It is very important to us to save the mutants who were taken by the Sentinels. Many lives depend on our success, and we take that very seriously."

"I have no wish to see harm visited upon fellow mutants."

"Is that motivation enough? We need to know that we can count on everyone involved to give everythin' they've got. Are you capable of that? Knowing that you'll be workin' beside the friends of your enemy? We won't tolerate any aggression toward him."

Ah had wondered if she would get mad, but she tilted her head to one side as she looked at me, and somethin' passed over her face so quickly ah couldn't recognize it.

"So you're the devil's woman?"

Ah steeled mah face all the harder. "Ah think that title gives me some undue importance, but it doesn't change mah question."

Her eyes searched mah face almost curiously. "I cannot expect the rest of the world to share in my grudges. He has done wrong by our people, not by you: we need no help hating him. For now we have a bargain with him, and until the bargain is settled he is sheltered from what he deserves. So long as he is not personally present," her gaze turned icy as she stared me down, "I am perfectly in control of myself."

Ah swallowed. "He won't be here."

She studied me one last time, nodded, and then cast her gaze disinterestedly at the floor.

Ah addressed the team. "If you have a use foah her, Scott, then she can stay."

Jubilee's mouth became a round "o", Storm threw me a ghost of a smile in the way of thanks, and Scott only stared at me a moment. Ah leaned back in mah chair, crossed mah arms over mah chest, and retreated into mah mental anesthetic.

Scott continued the meeting as though Storm had never interrupted. We were goin' to have one team stay at the base, keepin' communications up between the A-team and the outside world. A-team would be the real muscle, bravely headin' out to face whatever was comin'. B-team would be reserved as backup. While we wanted as many hands on deck as possible, we didn't want to compromise everyone at the same time by moving together, particularly if we found out it was a doomed mission. They were still debating the placement of a few key members, and hoped to have final placements within the next few days.

Ah paid attention, but it was like watchin' a movie on a screen: ah wasn't all there.

Eventually Ororo came and sat on the other side of me from Jubilee. Scott kept talkin', but 'Ro stared at me long enough that ah couldn't ignore it. Ah slowly raised mah eyes to meet hers.

Her face held a blatant apology. She was sorry, and more importantly she had a reason that she wanted to give me at a more opportune moment.

Ah stared back at her coolly. A part of me understood that she was doin' the best she could, that she was tryin' to balance all her ties so everyone could come out ahead. But another part was too tired of blow after blow, tired of makin' excuses and acceptin' that things had to be the way they were.

Mah life always had to orient itself around everyone else's convenience it seemed. Sure, take mah mind. Take mah heart. Take mah best friend. Take Remy. You all must need those things more than me.

Put me on the spot. Invite mah problems foah a visit. Keep secrets from me. Lie to me. Hurt me, if it makes things a little easier foah ya. If that doesn't work, leave me.

Once you've tried all that, ask me to be strong. Ask me to shoulder everything with dignity. Ask me to stand tall and take on the impossible. That's not unreasonable, is it?

Sorry 'Ro, but Ah'm at mah limit. Today ah have nothing left to give. You want me to let you know everythin's fine and ah understand. You want a smile, and ah don't have one left.

Ah know its not all yoah fault, and ah'll probably feel bad later, but ah don't have a bigger person in me right now. Ah don't care what you want, or need. Today, we are not friends.

15


	29. Chapter 29

_Hey guys! Here is the latest chapter, can't wait to hear what you think! I also hope you guys will forgive me, but I took a little extra time to write a different Romy story. I was listening to Christmas music and the inspiration just descended on me, refusing to be ignored. Hopefully this timely update is apology enough for getting distracted. Anyway, the other story is a Christmas one-shot, and it's complete and posted if you'd like to take a look. Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season!_

_Blimey the Toad: Wow! What a review! Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed the Rogue chapter. I absolutely adore this character, partially because she is helplessly crazy. Lol. We're all crazy people at heart I think, trying to figure out a way to act normal. I also really like her powers. Though I don't know if I'd like to have them, I think they make a great symbol. Who hasn't felt totally isolated at times, incapable of connecting others in the ways we desperately need to? I just love this girl, and I'm really lucky to have such intelligent, classy, like-minded readers. Lol. As far as Marrow, she's one character that I really feel like I have a poor grasp on, though she interests me greatly. I trust you to keep me in check and make sure that my rendition of her is faithful. I'll do my best. To me, characters are the most important part of any story. By the way, I was completely thrilled to have find out I have a fellow southern girl in my corner. Thank you for reading and your lengthy review, I hope this newest installment lives up to your expectations!_

_Red Skippy: Thank you for your sweet review! As usual the part of the story I was the most nervous about is the one you chose as your favorite. Lol! As always, your kind reassurance has made me breathe a little easier. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks a ton for reading and for your review. I always love to hear your take on things. _

_Bologna121 – I love Rogue too! This is why I love fan fic people, we just get each other. Lol! Ororo is getting on my dang nerves too, how lame is that? I mean, she really isn't trying to be malicious, she has good reasons for behaving the way she does, but she's really trying my patience. Still, I have the feeling she will utterly redeem herself like she always does before the end. Thank you so much for reading, the review, and your encouragement. It seems that the farther I come in this story the less sure of myself I become. Lol. _

_Gidgeygirl – I hadn't really planned that end part with Rogue, but I just couldn't find any more excuses for her to give people with everything she's dealing with. It was only a matter of time. I'm glad it came across so well, and that you enjoyed it. I do have some plans for Marrow as a temporary part of the team, but I'm trying to leave her some wiggle room for the time being. I guess we'll all just have to nervously watch and wait to see what she'll do. Lol. Thanks for reading and your review!_

_Starlight2twilight – I hope your exams went well! I just got done with my bachelor's degree a few weeks back, so I definitely feel your pain. Knowing the awesome type of people we X-men fans are, I'm sure you knocked them out of the park. I'm glad I could have two chapters ready for you as a reward for all your hard work. Here's the requested "moar!", hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading and your review!_

_MDD – In answer to your question: I am updating next….RIGHT NOW! Lol!Just so you know, I don't really have my updates on any type of schedule. I'm just chucking them out as quickly as I possibly can. Wow, thanks so much for your head-swelling review. This is really my first attempt at a story of this magnitude, fan fiction or otherwise. I'm really glad so many people are enjoying it, because I'm having a blast writing it. I will probably never get over Remy Lebeau, seeing as I've loved him for 15 years now, so I'm sure there's lots more ff to come. I really think I've learned a lot from writing this story, and I hope my approaches will just keep getting better. In the meantime, I just posted a Christmas story that is just chock full of Remy. Thank you so very much for reading, and your review. I can't stress enough how much it means to me to have feedback, good or bad. _

_Crack4sure – hey, I've been checking out some of your favorite stories lately, and I gotta say your taste in ff has me intimidated. There's some stiff competition, and fantastic stories. Thanks for making me a directory of the best of the best. As far as the photo thing, I was a little unsure of how to approach that with everything going on, but I get a little burned out on constant melodrama. I tried to kind of lighten things with the photo thing, plus I needed the pictures for reasons you'll see below, but I'm sorry it came across a little too shaky. Any ideas on how I could maybe improve it? I'd love to hear your opinion. Thanks as always for reading and your review! _

Part 29: Odd Couple

I kept my eyes trained carefully on the road in front o' me, counting de lines as dey sped by. I was determined to give not'ing away; a skill I had practiced almos' since birth. Today it was difficult to summon up my more carefree persona, so I had turned the radio on "blare" as soon as de mansion faded out o' sight to cover me.

I was irritated dat Logan was wit' me. S' not dat I have anyt'ing particular against Logan, but he was one person dat I refused to show vulnerability. I used up almos' all my willpower to make it out o' de mansion wit' what little dignity I could pretend. I had counted on having dis long, lonesome car ride to let myself fall apart in private. Now I couldn'. I was pulling from empty reserves.

I had managed to keep a stone face while de threads of my life had slipped away, I hadn' said one word about being cut out o' de team, I hadn' hunted Rogue down and made her be closer to me dan she wanted, I hadn' argued one single decision, regardless o' how much it hurt. I had even restrained my more brazen, selfish nature. I hadn' taken anyt'ing dat didn' belong to me: not even a drugged and tied up Rogue. De t'ought had occurred to me, but it was idle and spawned no action.

I suppose I should've been more t'ankful to Logan fo' taking my part against de X-men, but I had a distinct feeling dat his defection really had very little to do wit' me. I'm a man who understands ulterior motives, and I figured I was jus' a useful pawn in some much bigger game. Maybe dat's being harsh, but although Logan and I had similarities we couldn' ignore and dere was no real bad blood between us, we weren' exactly friends, non?

To his credit, he was making t'ings easy on me. We rode in companionable silence, him looking out his window, me staring out de windshield. He didn' try to talk to me, he didn' mess wit' de radio, didn' even watch where we were going.

I would have been content to leave t'ings dis way, but after an hour or so I needed to know what to do wit' de man. I rolled down my window and lit a cigarette befo' turning off de radio. Logan turned his head to me casually.

"So where you headed?" I kept my eyes on de road when I spoke, taking a drag to make de moment seem unimportant. It wasn' my best, but still a believable act to any outsider.

He watched me steadily, keeping his casual stance. Still, his focused attention was intense. You can never be sure if Logan is buying into yo' load o' crap: in fact you can' help but doubt it. I would try, but if Logan asked me any direct questions, I wasn' sure if I could lie. His gaze almos' made me itch. I wanted away from him, I needed some time to be honest wit' myself befo' I went insane.

I waited, but he only shrugged.

"As often as yo' gone, you got to have someplace you go, someone you wan' to see?"

"Nope. Usually when I leave it's because I have things to do, when they're done I come back. I don't have much in the way of roots."

I tried not to get exasperated wit' him. Nice as it was getting to know de inner Logan, I was not trying to have an idle tete-a-tete: I was trying to figure out how soon I could dump de excess baggage.

"Well den, where's yo' business dis time?"

"Don't have any business of my own this time."

I finally braved looking over at him. I put a conversational smile on my face, and hoped it didn' look menacing.

"Maybe you'd like to sort yo' path out at de nearest bar?"

Logan's eyes narrowed a little and he turned to look straight ahead. He turned de radio back on to "blare".

I was too frustrated to trust myself, so I looked back out as well, wordlessly. If he didn' watch it wit' dat attitude he was gon' get kicked out on de wayside to fend fo' himself. We rode in silence fo' annudah hour befo' I tried again, dis time more directly.

"Where do you wan' me to drop you off, Logan? I got places to be."

"Like where?"

He was still totally composed, almos' seeming bored. It made de itch worse. He was cool, calm, and collected while I was jus' pretending to be. It made me feel like he had de upper hand and I couldn' figure a way to take it from him.

I let some o' my frustration leak out into my words. "Does it matter?"

"Not really." Logan was unfazed. I waited fo' him to say somet'ing useful, but once again he acted like I hadn' asked him anyt'ing.

Logan is a man who appreciates being dealt wit' candidly. Normally dis is de area in which we disagree: I'm all fo' a little parley and subterfuge, but if I wanted my way I t'ought it'd be better to err on his side.

"Logan, I appreciate what you did fo' me, but I got to go warn my family about de Morlocks, take care o' some business. S' a little urgent, and little personal. So I need to be on my way. I can' do dat while yo' in de car. I'll take you anywhere you wan' to go, but we need to start heading dat way."

Logan non-chalantly took out a cigar, cut it, and stuck it between his teeth befo' answering me. It was almos' like he was trying to get on my nerves.

"Like I said, I have no place in particular I need to be. How about we head your way and I'll duck out when I'm good and ready?"

What?! I tried to keep my facial features composed. I allowed myself a bewildered smile.

"Sorry, but you can' come wit' me. Like I said, personal business."

He lit his cigar, puffing around his words. "You can keep trying this conversation as many times as you like, Gumbo, but it ends the same way: with me in the car."

"Dat what yo' after? You need de car?"

"I'm after you, Gambit."

"I hate to go around breaking hearts, Wolverine, but yo' jus' not my type."

I was trying to goad his temper and in de act, relieve mine. He jus' grinned at me.

"Actually, I'm just exactly yer type. I mind my own business, take care of myself. I have a shady past so I don't nose my way in to other people's problems. I'm good at turning a blind eye when the occasion calls fer a little moral bending. Plus, I'm intimidating. All in all, a perfect wingman, and a perfect balance to yer little act."

"Says you. I don' know what act yo' talking about, but I work best alone, mon ami. Desole, but Gambit Enterprises is not accepting applications at dis time."

His eyes twinkled as he turned back to the window, flicking ashes out into de rushing wind. I waited, but he sat in silence.

Once again, de conversation ended wit' him in de car.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm not kidding, Logan. Yo' not coming wit' me."

He looked back at me again, still bemused. "Then why am I still in the car?

I looked at him half a second longer, utterly appalled. Who knew Wolverine had a sick, twisted, biting sense o' humor? Apparently everyone but me. I swerved off de road, fishtailing in de gravel as we screeched to a halt. De car behind us leaned on de horn as dey passed us. I flipped dem de bird befo' I reached over Logan and slung open his door.

"Get out, Logan."

His grin turned wicked as he slammed de door back shut. "Nope."

I leveled him wit' my mos' serious glare. "Get. Out. Of. My. Car."

"Nope," he said as again as he blew smoke in my face.

Any normal bargaining situation would have turned to blows by dis point, but de man was Rogue's friend. Luck is jus' not wit' me dese days.

Wit'out annudah word, I jumped out o' de car and started storming down de road wit' my thumb out. Wouldn' be de first time I hitched my way cross country. I heard his door slam a second later and his rushed footsteps as he hurried to keep up wit' me.

"Turn around and leave me alone. I don' wan' to have to resort to anyt'ing drastic."

He laughed raucously. "Threats, Gumbo? Wouldn't I just love to throw down with you one time, just to know? Maybe one of these days but not today. If you really want to ride with strangers I can deal with that, but it seems a real waste since you already paid fer the car."

I spun to face him. "What is yo' problem?! What happened to minding yo' own business?!"

His face grew jus' a little more serious. "Nothing happened to it. You became my business."

"Dat's bull."

"Besides, you left all yer stuff in the car."

I turned back around, stalking away. "I'll get new stuff."

"Yeah, most things are pretty replaceable fer you. Yer not the sentimental type. Still, I wonder how exactly you plan on coming up with another set of these."

I knew better dan to turn around. I knew better, but still I glanced back over my shoulder like I didn' have no better sense. He held aloft a white envelope, trying to keep de triumph off his face.

I spun on him again, and dis time I felt my eyes glowing. I didn' bother wit' stopping dem. I don' take well to coercion.

"Dose are mine!" Yeah, I probably should have come up wit' a better opening line.

Logan kept his cool. "You gonna give me a lecture on stealing?"

I clenched my fists, feeling de energy inside me swirl to dangerous proportions, searching fo' a release. I wanted to give it one, but I tenuously kept control.

"I don' need dose to remember. It'd be nice to have dem, but I don' need dem. You got not'ing to make me stick around. I don' know which one o' us would win in fight, Logan, though I'm starting to suspect we jus' might find out, but I do know which one o' us can run faster. So we can keep having dis conversation as many times as you wan', but it'll end de same way: me dropping you someplace."

"Ooh, nice turnabout. Yer quick on yer feet, no doubt about that." He slipped his zippo out o' his pocket, flicking it open and igniting a flame.

He dangled de envelope dat held my pictures, my last moments wit' Rogue over de fire. It seemed to rise jus' a little higher, trying to lick de surface greedily.

"So we have two possible outcomes: you seem to think they're you leaving, or me staying. Yer wrong about that."

He waved his lighter back and forth tauntingly, inches away from de envelope. "You can simmer the hell down right now, we can get back in the car, and I'll give you yer precious belongings back unharmed. Or you can be a pain in my ass and keep walking, in which case this envelope gets charred beyond recognition, and you end up back in the car anyway. The options are getting back in the driver seat, or riding bound and gagged in the trunk. I'm game either way."

I tried to keep a poker face, but I knew I was failing miserably. "I'll jus' charge anyt'ing you use to tie me."

"I'll knock you out."

"I'll wake up eventually."

"I'll beat you up and tie you again."

"I'll blow you into tiny lil' bastard smithereens."

"I'll get over it. Then I'll call Rogue and tell on you."

Damn._ Dere jus' pictures, dere jus' pictures, dere jus' pictures_ my mind wailed helplessly.

Logan raised an eyebrow, letting his hand lower painfully toward de lighter. "Time's wastin', Cajun. What's it gonna be?"

Dey were de only t'ing I had from her, de only t'ing she'd given me.

"I don' like you, Logan."

He snorted as he flicked de lighter shut. "You think yer the first? Glad you decided to be smart after all."

I held out my hand, grimacing. Logan raised an eyebrow befo' tucking de envelope back into his jacket.

"Hey! We had a deal!"

"I told you I'd give you yer pictures: I didn' say when. Once you get back in the car like a good little Cajun, you can have the first. I think these might be a useful tool at positive reinforcement fer you. I figure it'll make the trip simpler fer both of us."

I didn' know what to say. I'd been had. Me, de prince o' t'ieves, by Logan of all people. He jus' waited and watched, looking like he had all de time in de world. I did de only t'ing I really could do, under de circumstances: I walked back to de car.

He stopped me befo' I got dere, holding out his hand. He said simply, "Keys."

"Yo' pushing my limits, Logan."

"You want yer picture or not?"

I resisted de urge to snarl at him, instead giving him an evil grimace befo' handing over de keys and getting in de passenger side. He's impressive, but at de end of de day he's jus' annudah man. He had to eat and sleep. I would bide my time, observe my case, and when de opportunity presented itself, I would take my pictures back and leave him someplace really nasty. Like maybe a mental institute, or de 3rd grade classroom of an all girls' school in not'ing but his boxers.

He got in de driver's side, cranked it up, and we pulled back onto de rode wit' as much ease as if we were headed to a drive-in movie. Logan reached into his jacket pocket and tossed a picture at me wit'out even glancing at it.

I snatched it out o' de air, glaring at him all de harder fo' his lack of reverence. Least he could do is be careful wit' my t'ings if he's gon' use dem as bait.

I meant to tuck de picture into my jacket wit'out looking. I had no interest in walking down memory lane wit' Logan present. Unfortunately, my eyes betrayed me and flickered down, jus' to see which one I'd gotten safely back into my care.

My breath caught. I didn' t'ink it was possible, but de camera had captured every tiny detail o' Rogue's face as she smiled up at me. De green o' her eyes, even caught indirectly, was bright enough dat it seemed like it should burn through de page. Her silver locks framed her face gently, and gave her skin a rosy glow in contrast. A few light freckles danced across her nose like golden dust. Her posture was relaxed, shoulders sloping gently down, highlighting the graceful length o' her neck.

De gentle smile dat lit her face added light to de whole picture: it made a small part o' me feel euphoric. Dat smile was almos' more dan I could bear.

She was smiling up at me as my red eyes glittered down at her. As always, she was untroubled by my peculiar eyes. More noticeably, she was undaunted by my arm draped heavily around her shoulders. We were standing close togeddah, obviously a couple.

I was smiling back. De devil and an angel, smiling at one annudah. I looked in love. I'd never seen my face look so adoring of anyt'ing, and yet I remembered dis moment was o' small remark. Jubilee had asked us to look like a couple, we had smiled at one annudah, a little embarrassed as we tried to comply. It was not a moment o' great intimacy, though it was a nice one. Was dis jus' how I looked at her?

I looked happy. Dis had been one o' de lowest moments I shared wit' Rogue, our goodbye. But gazing into her face, I still looked happier dan I had ever seen myself. I almos' looked like someone entirely different.

It descended suddenly, dropped like a weight. Someone had pulled de plug and I was being sucked down. I watched all de color drain out o' my world, leaving everyt'ing void: black, white, shades o' grey.

I couldn' hold it back anymore, de t'ought I had mos' wanted to avoid.

She was really gone. Each second we drove put us further apart. She would not come after me. I would be as I once was.

What did it matter if Logan t'ought I was weak? Who de hell cared?

I crawled into de backseat. Logan raised an eyebrow and looked over his shoulder.

"I'm gon' sleep."

He turned back to de front. I laid on de seat, rolling to face away from him. I knew I wouldn' sleep, but it was as alone as I could get. I wrapped my arms around and pulled myself into as tight a ball as I could manage in a misguided attempt to hold my body togeddah while de rest o' me fell apart, and den I let de wave crash.

I was surprised to open my eyes and realize I had actually fallen asleep. It was dark now, deep into de night probably. Dere's a certain time o' night, long after de sun has set, and long befo' it rises, dat de sky seems to forget it was ever annudah color. De street lights passing had disturbed me as de gaudy amber light flashed in steady increments through de window.

Fo' a while, I jus' let dem go by. As my body slowly came back around to de land o' de living, I realized I was uncomfortable. I was still in de same tense position I had fallen asleep in, and mos' o' me was complainin' about it. De arm pinned beneath me had fallen asleep ages ago, and dere was a terrible crick in my neck.

Moreover, I needed to find a men's facility. It seemed dat life was cruelly ironic. Everyt'ing important to me had ended, and de world went on exactly on cue, as though not'ing had changed. Rogue was gone, and I had to make a pit stop. It never rains when you wan' it to.

Knowing dere was no way to get out o' it, I sat up.

"What time is it?"

"Just after midnight." Logan kept his eyes on de road ahead o' him, and answered casually, as though we were mid-conversation.

"Mon dieu."

"Yeah, I'd say you got a solid 11 hours. Considering yer usual M.O., you should be good fer the next couple of weeks. I'll take the next exit that comes up, let you stretch yer legs."

I knew dat I was vaguely still mad, but overall I was too groggy and numb to summon any impressive emotion. "T'anks."

We sat in silence again. Dat's one nice t'ing about Logan, he doesn't need de constant reassurance o' conversation. A minute or so later, we came up on an exit. Logan pulled us into de parking lot o' a non-descript gas station, and we hopped out.

After dealing wit' de mos' pressing business, Logan went through and stocked up on beef jerky, cigars, sandwiches and beer. Apparently he's pretty comfortable in his own skin. I took some long strides and stretched out all my road kinks befo' heading out to fill de tank. While I was watching de numbers spin and muttering about de rising costs o' gasoline, it occurred to me dat I had no idea where we were. When Logan came out to join me, I asked.

"You mentioned family. Only other people that talk like you are down Louisiana way. I made an educated guess and headed south. We're on I-40, not far into Tennessee."

"Good guess."

He shrugged. "We stopping fer the night?"

I hadn' even had a chance to t'ink about it. It still felt like I jus' left, what wit' sleeping through half de journey.

"We can. You been driving all dis time, you mus' be getting tired."

"Not really. My regeneration factor means I don't need a whole lot of sleep. If I sleep every day, I really only need an hour or two. I've gone five days without it and only been a little rough around the edges. If you want, we can pull a straight shot."

His face stayed cool, but his eyes twinkled as he spoke, as though he had somehow guessed dat I was counting on using his human needs to get around him at some point. I frowned at him, wondering if I was jus' getting paranoid.

"Whatever. I'm not picky as long as I get to drive a while. I get bored jus' sitting, and I don' t'ink I can go back to sleep. Am I allowed to drive, Deputy?"

He tossed me the keys, ignoring de jab. We got in and pulled back out onto de road. It was a quiet affair again fo' a while, but finally Logan spoke. De sound almos' surprised me.

"Ok, I think we better get some key points straight. We're both males with strong personalities, and if one of us dies before this is over, Rogue'll be pissed."

Her name had a new quality to it, a new fierceness in de sound, like glass breaking in de next room…hard to ignore.

"Whatever you say." I had meant it to sound sarcastic, but my voice sounded too hollow.

"First I think it'll help you to know where you stand with me. Fer the most part…I like ya."

"Be still my heart."

"When you get down to business and stop mouthing off, at least. Yer obviously a low down sleaze with a sketchy background-,"

"Oh don' hold back, sweetheart."

Logan shot a sharp glare at me. "…but you haven't actually done anything that I can hold against ya. Far as I can tell, you've tried as hard as ya can to be as good as you can since you first came to New York."

I didn' say anyt'ing. Yeah, I had tried hard. He didn' know how hard. Hadn' made one damn bit o' difference.

He took a deep breath. "That being said, I like Rogue more, and I hate you with her."

I didn' say anyt'ing still. What was I supposed to say? Congratulations?

He stared straight ahead, hating as usual to talk about personal issues.

"It's been a real pain fer me, being drawn to both of ya, and hoping ya wouldn't be drawn to each other."

"Dat's why you act all alpha around me?"

He ignored my question.

"I hate you with her, because I know that in order fer you to be a good thing for her, you'll have to go against everything that comes to ya naturally. You'll have to try harder than I've ever seen anyone try. I don't know if yer capable of that. I trust her, but I don't know if I can trust you yet. I'm hoping to find out."

My knuckles tightened against the steering wheel. "S' a little late fo' you to go to all this trouble befriending me. Looks like you all got yo' wish. Gambit won' be soiling yo' precious school, precious team, and precious Rogue. If you'd quit being stubborn and let me leave, I could jus' fade off into de sunset like a bad dream. Everyt'ing would be de way it was, and no one would lose any sleep."

Logan waited patiently through my tirade. "You done?"

"I really might have to kill you. Jus' to keep my sanity."

"You done?"

I glared over at him. What was his problem today? He took my silence as cooperation.

"Rogue's family to me, and one of the reasons that we understand each other so well is because we both have a void in us we can't explain. We don't even know what belongs there, only that there's something missing. Rogue's decisions are her own, and so long as you didn't do anything to force my hand, I would've left it there."

Logan was going off on one o' his vague tangents dat I didn' understand. He wasn' very good at talking about feelings and relationships, and right now, despite de extra sleep, I didn' have de energy to sort through his words to find deir meaning. I t'ought maybe he was having a case o' "misery loves company", projecting his personality on Rogue like dat. I never noticed Rogue having some kind o' mystical void. She had scars, and unfilled wants and needs, but not'ing like what Logan was talking about.

"If yo' gon' say somet'ing cryptic and life altering, could you please get to de punchline?"

Logan was unhappy with my intrusion, and my lack of regard fo' his emotional honesty. He did dis so rarely dat he was used to getting undivided attention.

His icy eyes bored out straight ahead like he was trying to drill a hole through de glass. "Forget it. We'll just have to try not to kill each other and hope fer the best."

"Why can' you jus' go home?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Lots of reasons. One, they had no right to toss you like they did, and deep down they know it. Thanks to personal ties and hierarchy, no one's got the stones to do anything about it, except me. If we're gonna be the damn good guys, then we don't get to pick and choose who needs our help. Me leaving forces them to be the people they mean to be."

He sat quietly, seeming content to leave it dere.

"You said lots o' reasons."

"Doesn't mean I have to give you all of 'em."

"No, course not. God forbid I make you uncomfortable."

He watched me coolly, unaffected by my shifting moods.

"How about you have a penchant fer getting yerself in trouble? Rogue is trusting me to keep you out of it, at least til she makes up her mind. So just you remember that, while yer planning yer great escape."

"You sho' are playing de Rogue card a lot tonight. You better be careful you don' run out."

"I'll use whatever works. That's one of the differences between me and you. You try to be prepared, make sure you got enough tricks to get by. Me, I deal with whatever I have. Right now, Rogue is the thing yer responding to."

"Yes, but yo' taking it fo' granted dat I'm responding de way you wan' me to. Face it Logan, your dislike o' me runs deeper dan my dalliances wit' de girl: you hate it dat you can' figure me out. You don' know what to expect from me. Remember dat when you start to feel confident."

"Didn't I basically say as much? That I don't trust you?"

"Yeah, but you blamed it on my personality, not yo' inability to read said personality. In dat, dere is a world o' difference. I'm jus' pointing it out so we're bot' on de same page."

He gave me a sidelong glance. "One of us is gonna die. I don't see any way around it."

Suddenly, an idea occurred to me: Rogue wasn' de only playing card in dis game.

"You know, lil Jubilee didn' seem too pleased wit' yo' decision. I wonder if she knows jus' how far Rogue outranks her in de heart of Wolverine. Dat Wolverine's a scoundrel, strings everybody along wit' his natural charm."

Dere it was, de subtle tightening around his eyes dat I would have missed if I hadn' been looking fo' it. Interesting. I jus' might have a weapon in dis little tournament. It was nowhere near as strong as his, but at least I wasn' defenseless.

"She'll get over it."

"Sure hope you make it back befo' de big mission. She's a little spoiled by you watching out fo' her."

He turned to me, and I could see in his expression dat I was finally starting to get to de man, at least a little. It was a small and petty victory, but a victory nonetheless.

"I didn't leave her alone. Like I said, I trust Rogue. She'll look out fer Jubilee. You dig too far under my skin, Cajun, yer gonna find yerself a set of claws."

I smiled. Rogue had sewed me up in a tight little box: hopelessly in love wit' her, painfully separated from her, and wit' Logan here, unable to keep her from my t'oughts. I couldn' move forward, nor go back. But Logan was de thread holdin' dis whole, tormenting box togeddah, and I had found a loose string. All I had to do was find a way to pull hard enough, and he'd unravel.

My smile widened. Logan had no idea what he got himself into when he decided to go visit de t'ieves guild.

16


	30. Chapter 30

_Red Skippy: Remy makes me laugh all the time! It might be lame, but I laughed a lot while writing that last chapter. Remy and Logan just play off each other so well! And even though life isn't rosy yet, I really needed the tension break of those two bantering. Thanks so much for reading and your review. I hope this next chapter works for you!_

_Bologna121 – I'm so thrilled I could make you laugh, with *ahem* the help of our resident scoundrels. I really needed Logan to go along to break up some of this really heavy stuff. I'm glad you enjoyed the hilarity! I really miss the Romy moments too. It's really hard not to just give in and give those two what they both want, and what I want too, but I think what I have planned will make up for the heartache. I really hope so at least. We'll both try to be patient for a little bit, non? _

_MDD – Wow I am really enjoying getting reviews from you! I'm really happy I could suck you back into the fanfiction world! I am ever at its mercy. Lol. The idea that I actually inspired someone to write is such a huge compliment, like you wouldn't believe. Thank you for that. As far as continuing chapters, I had estimated 30-35. I was wrong. I figure it'll probably be at least 40. I think. We'll see. Lol. _

_Sweetcornbee – I love getting addicted to reading, and so I'm positively thrilled that you find this story addicting! I gotta say, when I started doing this story switching between perspectives it was a little jarring, but now it's become totally natural. Now that this chapter is done, I just expect the Cajun to show up in my head with something to say. Lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it has a little bit less hilarity than the previous one. Thanks for reading and the review!_

Part 30: Puzzle Pieces

Ah avoided Ororo. The rage was too tempting, the only color in a world turned black. She would be seeking a way to see me alone, to explain herself. Her explanation would be perfect, reasonable, and undeniable. That's who she was. Ah knew that, and ah didn't want it. All the negativity, all the pain and confusion and frustration that beat me relentlessly had up til this point been chaotic, a shifting pandemonium that was out of control and had me hopelessly at its mercy.

In bringing Marrow, involving herself in mah perfect mess, Ororo had gotten more than she bargained foah. It was just bad luck on her part. Ah liked 'Ro, but ah had no particular attachment to her. In mah little play she was an expendable character, through no fault of her own. It was cruel, but so was everything. Why shouldn't ah join in the fun?

Storm had provided something on which to pin the anarchy of emotion: she herself had become the focal point. Foah whatever reason, mah relatively small frustration with her had given me resolve, put everythin' in a narrow tunnel. Ah had some "oomph" back. Ah wouldn't let her come take it away with a thing so merciless as rationality.

Jubilee turned overnight into mah unofficial sidekick. Back during mah little stint in New Orleans, the room next to Piotr's had opened up and ah'd lost mah roommate. Kitty and ah were on better terms, but the awkwardness of our sudden 180 had been difficult to get around. Her attachment to me had more to do with redeeming herself than any real affection. Ah was glad to have her in mah corner, but the space had made things a little easier.

Unfortunately, now ah didn't have the excuse of a roommate to get away from Jubilee. She treated mah room like it was hers, walkin' in whenever she felt like it and stayin' til she was good and ready. Ah liked Jubilee more every day, but this particular habit grated on me, though in hindsight it was probably helpful. As usual when ah felt things falling apart ah was desperate foah alone time: Jubilee's constant presence was an irritation, but it kept me from sinkin' too deep into the dark pit inside mah head.

Ah had confronted Jubilee at one point, when the claustrophobia had become almost suffocatin'.

"You do realize that ah have mah very own shadow, ah don't need you to provide one."

She grinned at mah distemper. "You prefer having the more discreet kind, huh? Well, that's not my style. I just feel creepy lurking around like Team CajunClaw."

Ah narrowed mah eyes. "What are you talkin' about?"

"Pssh, you always have an extra shadow or two. They're just not honest about it. I figure they'll both owe me big if I manage to keep you healthy and happy. Face it, you need a little sunshine in your life, and I wear a yellow coat for pete's sake! And besides, you get yourself into interesting situations. If I hang around you, the excitement should be enough to distract me from everything else. Just think of me as a more visible Logan. Except a girl. With great hair. And a sense of humor."

A startled laugh made its way out of mah chest. Jubilee thought she was lookin' out foah me?!

"Sugah, you do realize that Logan asked _me_ to take care of _you_ while he was away, not the other way around."

Her face scowled. Clearly this concept hadn't even entered her consciousness. "What?! Why me? I can take care of myself, thank you very much! Does he not recall who it was that did the saving when his scruffy butt exploded?! Ugh!"

Ah laughed at her guiltily, ah couldn't help it. "That's Logan foah ya. Take it or leave it."

Jubilee composed herself again, realizing she'd let me one-up her and feelin' sulky about it. "Whatever. Doesn't change anything. It sucks to feel like I have the words 'innocent child' scribbled across my forehead all the time, but you and me are on the same team now and we're all that's left of it, especially with Storm being all hoity-toity."

Ah sighed. No getting out of it. Ah could've continued the conversation, but the truth was neither of us really had anything better to do. And while Jubilee seemed to wear her thoughts on her sleeve, she was really perceptive and most of the time she was exactly the kind of company ah needed.

Work time was full of complications now too. We all needed to focus and honestly tried to, but it was impossible not to be distracted by the names we didn't say. We were not at our most unified and you could practically hear the mental skips when everyone tried to play nice.

Ah think we were all hopin' that Marrow would be more problematic than she was. It seemed that Storm was standin' alone when it came to wantin' her here. Maybe if Marrow had been a real pain it would have given us some shaky common ground to grab, but she was surprisingly cooperative. She didn't talk too much, but took every task we gave her without any sign of disdain, performing to the best of her ability. There was no hostility or objection.

The only disconcerting thing about her was her attentiveness. Her eyes stayed constantly alert and she would occasionally ask questions, though she never gave any visible response to any answer. She watched me a lot. Every time ah was in the room with her the weight of her gaze settled heavily and gave me the creeps. Still, it was never overt enough to call her out on. Mostly she slipped increasingly out of our awareness.

Surprisingly, in the face of all the adversity the mission was starting to become more and more feasible. The suits had finally found an acceptable balance between insulation and maneuverability: we could function in the danger room version of Antarctica foah a few hours at a time. It wasn't comfortable, but it was doable.

The team assignments were out. A-team would be Scott (of course), Storm, me, Betsy, and Hank from the X-men, coupled with Mystique and Pietro from the Brotherhood. All hopes were pinned on the fact that A-team would get in and take care of everything, making B-team nothing more than a precaution. To this end, the team had a smattering of powers that would hopefully cover any unforeseen need we might have: strength, speed, climate control, psychic abilities, shapeshifting, ranged optic blasts, mimicry and flight. X-men outnumbered Brotherhood to hopefully keep them from trying any funny business. They didn't like it, but since we were funding this little expedition they couldn't say much. The A-team also had a nice range of technological specialties, though ah didn't contribute to that much.

B-team would be only be utilized in the event of A-team failure, capture, or otherwise incapacitation. For this reason, it was loaded with meat-trucks: Colossus, Bishop, Sabertooth, and Blob would be taking punches for Jean, Bobby, Jubilee and Magneto. Though the X-men still had the advantage here with numbers, Magneto counted more than twice, especially since none of our typical team leaders would be present to counteract his natural leadership. If B-team was called out, we would just have to trust in our integration training, or hope that the leadership training would be enough to keep things going our way.

Team C was going to stay at the base and head up communication, and was composed of the good Professor, Toad, Wanda and Warren. Though X-men and Brotherhood was evenly matched, there was no real opportunity for mischief in the control tower, and the Professor would certainly hold his own. Besides, Wanda hadn't given anybody a speck of trouble.

Not everyone was pleased with the team divisions. Warren didn't like sittin' in the background: he'd taken special time away from his day job in order to take part in a real adventure and was going to get left coolin' his heels. Unfortunately, we couldn't figure out a way to keep his wings warm enough without makin' 'em totally useless. Sabretooth took it very personally that he was put on B-team: he loved to charge in first, and now it looked like his chance to draw blood was slim. Jubilee was also livid at being on the B-team: we would be separated. Moreover, she suspected her demotion had more to do with her age than her abilities. Ah had to admit that she was probably right, but ah secretly agreed. We didn't know what we were up against entirely, and Jubilee can be a little overconfident sometimes. Moreover, she was actually the youngest member included. This way ah could carry on with the mission and not have to worry about her safety: Logan and ah were square.

Ah had no problem with the job ah was assigned, but ah sure wasn't thrilled about mah teammates. Storm was officially the placeholder foah mah least favorite teammate, and Mystique and me got on about as well as milk and vinegar. Not only that, but Besty had been in Britain foah most of the past several months on her alternate business: ah didn't really know where we stood about the whole Gambit thing. Ah didn't really know where we stood befoah, and there was a big question mark between me and Remy these days. Ah have very little experience with boyfriends, and even less with catfights. Ah mean, sure, ah could take Betsy at arm-wrestling, but one big pimp-slap from her psychic powers and ah'd probably just curl up in the fetal position.

Ah needed the mental focus mah Storm-grudge provided, and there was no easy fix foah the whole Mystique business. Foah the sake of the mission, ah thought ah better try to smooth things over with Betsy. Ah quickly learned that mah worries were completely unnecessary.

Ah managed to corner her in the locker room after the first round of A-team trainin'. Suckin' in a big breath, ah walked up and squared mah shoulders off.

"Um, Betsy? Could ah talk to ya foah a minute?"

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. We had always been a little indifferent to one another, respectful, but distant. The truth was ah had always liked her: she was a strong and assertive woman with a lot of style and a beautiful accent that always made her sound like an intellectual to me. All those things rolled up in a pretty little asian package, although it wasn't technically hers, had always intimidated me.

"Sure, Rogue. What's on your mind?"

"Ah just wanted to…well seeing as we're going to be workin' together on this mission and everythin'…" Ah had meant foah mah start to be stronger, but no matter which way ah lined up the words they sounded just awful.

Both Betsy's eyebrows shot up, taken completely offguard by mah strange behavior. "Please do come to some kind of conclusion, dear, I have no idea what you could possibly have to say, though I must say I'm tempted to try and find out. Oh god, this isn't one of those 'if I die' speeches is it? There's hardly any call for dramatics."

"No!" Ah sighed, "Look…ah wanted you to know that if there are any hard feelin's between us…"

Betsy's face scrunched up in confusion. "Hard feelings? Whatever about?"

Ah hated it, but ah felt mah face flush. This was just so not me. "About Remy."

Her face blanked. "Who?"

Mah jaw dropped. "Remy Lebeau? Uh, Gambit?"

Recognition sparked on her face. "Oh yes! Now I remember. I don't recall anyone calling him Remy, in particular. He's not around anymore, is he? I haven't seen him since I got back: I didn't even think to notice. Good heavens, why on earth would there be hard feelings about him?"

The idea that someone could be so blatantly unaffected by Remy was a foreign concept to me: it was like watching a pig fly.

Ah was a little bewildered by the direction this conversation had taken. Ah had expected anger, awkwardness, maybe even some condescension, but not this. "Ah, uh…he and ah are…were…well, are sorta together. And you and he…" Ah trailed off.

Betsy's eyes opened wide as she caught mah meaning, and then she started laughing uproariously. "Oh Rogue darling you are too funny!"

Ah stuck mah chin out defiantly, confused by her response. No one likes bein' laughed at.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, truly! You've just taken me by surprise is all. I had no idea! Gracious, I think we maybe went out, what, twice? Certainly Gambit was quite a dish, but to think I would still be pining away after all these months?" She stopped a moment, allowing herself to catch her breath and giggle some more.

"So…yoah really not mad?"

Betsy guffawed. "Oh of course not! I wouldn't have even thought about it if you hadn't said something. I've had men since, you know. And I had suspected just a little that he may have been eyeing you before I left. I'm not stupid enough to think I had captured the totality of his attention: he's not that kind. Quite frankly I thought it served him right, finally finding a woman he could never ever have. That must have really put a cramp in-,"

Her eyes popped as she cut herself off, realizing that she may have said somethin' uncalled foah. Fortunately, ah still had that mild anesthetic running through mah system these days, helping me to stay focused on the task at hand when the rage wasn't enough, and banishing the questions ah would eventually have to ask, even though ah didn't want the answers.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Rogue. That was cruel of me to say. My mouth just ran away with me."

She watched me warily, wonderin' how ah was gonna take it. Ah shrugged. "It's ok. It's true enough."

Betsy frowned. "No, that was wrong of me. You must understand, I do have a rather vindictive streak at times. I really wasn't surprised that Gambit had other interests, I just expected him to pretend better, you know? But still, I shouldn't be so insensitive, particularly not now, when I'm happy enough that his welfare makes absolutely no difference. Do say you'll forgive me?"

Her remorse seemed genuine, and ah had just come to patch up an imaginary rift with Betsy: ah didn't need to go and make a real one over such a small truth. Ah smiled at her.

"Really, Betsy, it's no big deal, don't be worried. Let's just forget it ever happened, ok?"

She smiled gratefully. "Though totally unnecessary and more than a little silly, it was really very decent of you to try and make amends. We've never been terribly close, you owed me no explanation."

"That didn't really matter. Ah hate feelin' like people are slipping around behind mah back, bein' dishonest and disrespectful. Ah don't want to make anyone else feel that way. Ah don't think ah'd feel to keen on a teammate just swoopin' right in on mah ex."

Betsy giggled again. "Gambit doesn't even rate as an ex, dear. Just because something is mildly romantic doesn't mean it needs to be terribly serious. There was never any real attachment between us, and there's no grudge at all. If you can be happy with him, go with my blessing."

She went back to packin' the rest of her things up, and ah nearly left it there, but thought it might not hurt to cement the brief little bond that flickered.

"If you don't mind mah askin', is there any reason we never got terribly close? Maybe the Brotherhood thing, somethin' else?"

Betsy smiled a little sheepishly. "I think it had mostly to do with time; we simply haven't had much time together. But then part of the reason for that is because you give me a bit of a headache."

Ah raised an eyebrow and she continued, bashfully. "I think it has to do with your mutation. You just have too many psyches in one location…it's like riding in a car with five different radio stations playing at the same time. Most of the time I can ignore it, but it takes greater concentration."

"Oh."

"But that really isn't your fault, and I have nothing against you. Perhaps with a little more practice I might improve. We are going to be teammates after all."

"You know, ah'm startin' to think ah'm just not a big hit with psychics."

Betsy giggled one last time. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm no big hit with Cajuns."

We smiled at each other, and ah was relieved. That was one less teammate to dread in Antarctica.

And truthfully, it was nice to know that this attractive, self-sufficient and otherwise totally desirable woman had no desire to sink her claws back into Remy. It was absolutely ridiculous that the thought should have been anywhere in mah head, considerin', and ah certainly didn't admit it to mahself, but still it was nice to know.

The truth was, despite the numbness that ah clung to like a life preserver, despite the 'Ro hatin' ah used as reins on mah twisted feelin's, despite the huge workload of the team, despite the constant company of Jubilee…ah thought about Remy all the time.

It was like the slow drip of a faucet in the back of mah mind, each drop carryin' a memory, or a worry, or an image. It was like a stain ah kept wall paperin' over, only to have the paper fray and peel. Ah had to be diligent, keep the next piece ready to paste over the spot as soon as the current one fell. Still, it was always there.

Logan had called the day after they left. When the number came up on mah cell phone mah heart skipped a beat.

"Logan?"

"Hey darlin'. Just callin' to check in."

"Thanks, sugah. How's life on the open road?"

"Quiet. I'm still tagging Gumbo. We're headed south. He's in one piece so far, but I'm getting real tempted to change that. How bout you girls?"

"Jubes is still mad, but she got assigned B-team."

"Good. You?"

"Tankin' foah the A-team."

"I figured. Be careful. I really hate you guys going out there without me."

"Ah can take care of mahself, and the worst Jubilee will probably deal with is jetlag. We're all missin' ya though."

He grunted. "Well, yer Cajun isn't too happy about having a babysitter. He's gonna try to split at some point. I've got it under control fer now."

Ah swallowed. "Is he there?"

"No. He's in the station. I decided to take advantage of the moment alone. You want me to pass along a message?"

"Not really…just…how's he doin?"

"My guess? Bout as well as you. I gotta go now, we're getting back on the road. You let me know if anything changes?"

"Yeah."

He hung up without another word. Logan's not really a phone type. Neither am ah, truth be told. Once again ah felt a little flush of relief, knowin' that Logan wouldn't let anything happen to Remy, at least nothing worse than him.

About a week after our resident scoundrels took off, we got our ship date. We were really going. Two weeks. We had estimated about 10 days once we finally reached the icy wasteland we'd all been dreadin'. There was still a naïve hope that this would be a reconnaissance mission, that we would find a clue or a message that we could report to the proper authorities, you know, the people who were not us, and they would take it from there.

Ah'd always wanted to travel…but Antarctica had never been in mah top ten list of vacation spots. It was hard to believe we were really goin'. Ah had sent Logan a text. Ah knew he would be grumpy, knowin' that this really meant we were goin' without him. He didn't respond, so ah figured ah guessed right.

We trained exclusively in our assigned groups, and we trained hard. It made it a little trickier to avoid Storm, but ah managed. Hank was backup muscle, his strength less impressive than mine but enough that you didn't want him to sucker punch ya if you could avoid it. Ah was glad foah that. It's impossible not to get along with Hank. Scott held his usual status in our group, which simplified things. Ah was used to him and knew what to expect. Betsy and Pietro hit it right off, both super competitive types, and pushed themselves to the max at every opportunity with no encouragement. They were showin' off, but their little game kept everythin' bearably lighthearted. Overall we were a nice team, and complimented one another well in combat.

Of course ah hadn't known what to expect from Mystique. Ah figured she'd want some kinda sabotage, but she didn't try anything. Then ah expected snide bait, like maybe she'd want to lure me into some kinda confrontation, but she kept to herself. Ah gotta say, ah was really relieved when ah realized that she was givin' me the silent treatment. She only interacted with me as much as she had to, and otherwise kept her distance. Ah thanked mah lucky stars.

Jubilee was perpetually unhappy with her team. Apparently she was relegated to the demeaning task of charging Bishop. She kept a steady flow of energy directed at him so he could use it against anything else. Ah couldn't help but be amused: what had she expected? To lead the charge with Sabertooth and Magneto on her flanks?

Soon after the ship date, something else weird started happenin', as though a trip to the south pole, complicated boyfriend, team friction, and a touch of multiple personality disorder wasn't enough. Wanda started bein' really nice to me. At first ah thought it had somethin' to do with her brother bein' on mah team. It was obvious that the two were tremendously close: ah figured this was all gonna lead up to some kinda "please look out foah Pietro" plea. Ah love how everyone is so sure ah can take care of other people when ah'm such an obvious disaster most of the time.

Still, after a few days of her bringin' me coffee, helpin' grade papers, and general niceness ah was getting a little suspicious. Ah decided to ask Pietro about it one day befoah trainin'.

He rolled his eyes. "She's such a brat." The word held no spite, but instead was laced with an interesting mix of irritation and affection.

"Thanks foah that little gem of information, but it's not terribly helpful at explainin' her behavior."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Wanda just can't seem to mind her own business. Apparently she decided as usual not to listen to me. She better be careful, too. Magneto…well, father's not a huge fan of you just at present."

"Ah can imagine, but you still haven't told me what's up with yoah sister."

"Ok, well, don't get mad, but Wanda thinks the whole thing is incredibly romantic. I know it sounds really juvenile, but with the Brotherhood and our father and all that we don't have a whole lot of time to develop many personal relationships. Sometimes it just feels like everyone wants to fight us, and there's not a whole lot of good stuff left to find, y'know? Can you blame her for liking to live vicariously sometimes?"

Ah stared at him blankly foah a moment while ah tried to comprehend. When ah did, ah was still confused. "She thinks what happened with me and Gambit is romantic?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. That's just Wanda. The untouchable girl and the renegade, how could she resist? She thinks of it like Robin Hood or the Highwayman or something."

The wallpaper peeled back from mah stain, and ah didn't have anything ready to cover it with. A memory bubbled up, unbidden yet undeniable.

"_So…why don't you like bein' a thief? From what I gather ya weren't bad at it or anything."_

_He looked almost curious foah a second. "You want me to go back to stealing go' a living?"_

"_Not if you don't want to. Ah just wondered what yoah problem is with it."_

"_You don' have a problem wit' it?"_

_Ah considered. "Not really. Ah've known lots of people that have done lots of bad things. Lord knows Ah'm no saint. From the time we spent with yoah family, they never seemed to take things from anyone who'd really miss it. In fact…" Ah trailed off, not sure if Ah should say what Ah was thinkin', but his eyes pressed me. "Ah kinda thought of it like Robin Hood or somethin'." Ah looked down, embarrassed. _

_He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a small smile returnin' to his lips. "Robin Hood hahn? Sounds dashing. Guess I'll just have to sweep some maiden off her feet to make de impression complete."_

"_What am Ah? Friar Tuck?"_

_He laughed loudly, and Ah started to feel a little more confident._

_He wiped at a corner of his eye. "You always surprise me, chere."_

"_Why?"_

_He gave me one of those glances that makes it hard foah me to breathe, those red eyes of his borin' into me like fire. "All de t'ings dat uddah people hate about me, you like, or at least don' seem to mind. Like right now. When I look at you, you never look away. S' like you don' care what I look like, or what I do. Jus' who I am. It surprises me always."_

_It never in a million years would have occurred to me that Remy Lebeau would be self-conscious._

Pietro's voice called me back. "Look, um, I can tell her to lay off if you want."

Apparently mah face was not coverin' me as well as ah might have hoped.

"Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. Ah wanted to know why, and now ah do."

"Geez, you've really got it bad, huh? That's terrible. If you want to talk or something…" he trailed off, trying to be friendly but really hoping ah wasn't gonna cave on him.

"Thanks Pietro, but no. What ah need is to focus on this mission, and to have everyone around me acting normal so ah can."

Pietro smiled gratefully and nodded that he understood. Ah wished ah'd met him when ah was a less troubled version of mahself: it was clear that he was easy to like. Bein' a crazy person all the time was startin' to lose its charms. At least Wanda wouldn't be with us in Antarctica. That was another small breath of mercy in a sea of relentlessness.

Two weeks went by quick. It felt like barely any time had passed befoah ah found mahself settin' an early alarm to catch our flight down to South America. It felt surreal. Ah was goin' thorough mah bags, makin' sure ah had packed everythin' ah'd need, when a single knock came at the door.

At first ah assumed it would be Jubilee until ah remembered that she never knocked. Must be Scott with some lack minute instructions.

Ah went to the door and opened it. On the other side, a sharp pair of eyes regarded me with curiosity. The consistently stern face was framed by close cropped magenta hair, and ivory spikes jutted out of her back as aggressively as ever.

"Marrow."

"Rogue."

Ah squinted at her, as though if ah looked hard enough ah'd see someone else. "Can ah help you?"

She kept her face composed, but paused a moment befoah answerin'. "Would it be all right for me to come in just a moment?"

Ah waited, hopin' maybe she'd change her mind, but in the end ah stepped aside and let her enter.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"No thank you. I'd prefer to stand."

We stood across from each other, weighin' each other again. She seemed every bit as wary of me as ah was of her.

"Are you afraid?" she asked, though there was no threat in this question.

"Of you?"

She smiled, "No. I am quite certain you are afraid of me. I was referring to your mission. I have never heard its equal."

Something about her nature had me feelin' honest. "Ah know ah should be, and ah think maybe as it becomes tangible ah will, but now no. Ah don't."

She cocked her head to one side. "I believe your answer. I have watched you as you prepared yourself. You have not shown any sign of apprehension or nervousness, not like your teammates. There is a constant calmness around you as you work…resolute. I would like to know why."

Ah raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to know? What difference does it make?"

She crossed her arms. "Perhaps I am curious to test my theories."

Ah blinked. "You could share them, and ah can let you know."

She smiled again. "It would be easier for you to simply lie to me than to dodge this way. Why not just tell me that you don't know? Or that you love the thrill of a challenge? Why be honest?"

"Most conversations follow a question-and-answer format. Question-to-question will eventually just spin us in circles. How about we just stick with the easiest reason: ah'm not very good at lyin'."

Marrow fixed me with a piercing stare. "You don't fear the thing you need. I think you need this mission. You need the work, because it keeps you from your thoughts of him."

Ah backed up, surprised by her accuracy. She nodded. "How do you think I rose so quickly among my people? At so young an age? It is because I have been working ceaselessly, taking any task I could find: the more difficult the better. I keep myself occupied to get away from the very same man. I wonder, are our reasons the same?"

Ah kept backin' away from her. "Ah don't know and ah don't care."

"Now that was quite a lie."

"Leave. We're not talkin' about this."

She seemed unaffected. "You know, I think you're all going to die."

Mah eyes popped. "What?!"

"I think you're seriously underestimating the potential of evil. You all have a very naïve idea that having 'right' on your side gives you some kind of mystical advantage. It's actually a handicap. I don't see any reason why you should be so confident in a safe return."

"Is that what this is? You want me to be afraid?"

Marrow shook her head. "No. I am simply explaining what I think. You see, I suspect this will be the last time I see you. For this reason, it is my last chance to say whatever I need to say. It is rare that people get this knowledge: that something is happening for the last time. I don't intend to waste it."

Ah was borderin' on desperate. This woman had the power to undo what little was left: ah'd known that from the moment she showed up. Why hadn't ah sent her away when ah had the chance?

"What could you possibly have to say to me? Ah had nothin' to do with anythin'!"

"Of course not! But your misery is every bit as sharp as ours, because you love him. And, you might have some answers that I need."

"Ah don't have any answers Caliban doesn't. Ah only saw his version of events, ah have nothin' to add, and ah don't want to relive it."

"I don't want to know about that! Don't you think I remember well enough? I want to know…about him. I need to make some sense of the man that saved my life."

Ah dropped. Fortunately ah landed on the bed, havin' backed so far away from Marrow that ah was standin' right in front of it.

Marrow kept her eyes on me, and ah felt like she knew every thought, every feelin' ah was havin'. That was impressive, considerin' that ah didn't.

"It has been a constant paradox for me. The man who took away my life is the very man responsible for my survival. Where does that leave us? How should I feel? He has been like a great fissure, separating who I was from who I became. It is impossible for me to connect myself. I am fractured by him."

Through the haze of shock, ah felt like ah knew exactly what she meant.

"It is easier to hate than it is to love. No one ever tells you that. To love someone truly is to forgive everything. I cannot forgive him, so I must hate him. Still, I cannot forget that he saved me, so I cannot hate him entirely."

Ah tried to draw a breath. Ah felt like ah mouthed more than whispered, "What do you want from me?"

She ignored me foah the time being, lookin' at the floor thoughtfully. "I think I would be glad, to lose my hate, but I don't know how. I feel guilty for even thinking it, remembering those who died. It seems like the hate is all I have left of them, the only evidence that they ever really lived."

Her eyes came back to me. "But you have no hate in you. You have only love. To lose the hate would be to finally heal. To lose your love would be to break entirely. So we come to rest on either side of him, our situations exactly reversed, and equally hopeless."

Ah repeated mah question a little more forcefully. "What do you want from me?"

"I want to free myself from the debt I owe. It complicates everything."

"What debt?"

"He took my soul, and gave me my life. If he fails in the bargain he made with Storm, I will have to take his life. Most of me will want to. But if I can give him his soul back, I will have given him much more than he gave me. That will settle the good between us. Then, perhaps, if he brings the others to justice, he will have settled the bad. I can give up my hate, forgive him both for hurting and saving me, and finally forget."

"Ah don't know what yoah talkin' about. Ah don't know what it has to do with me."

"I don't know if I can make you understand. Could you really explain to me, if you had to, everything you feel about him? I may be the only other person alive who is as complicated over…Remy…as you are."

Ah felt mah eyes prick as Marrow acknowledged all mah private pain. The drip of the faucet in the back of mah mind became a torrent; the stain crept out and colored everythin'.

"Please…" ah started, but didn't know what to ask foah.

"I've seen from this place, from the people that miss him that he has tried to make a better life for himself: perhaps he is trying to undo his wrongs. Maybe he deserves to be redeemed. I don't know. But I know that you might be the key. I need to know one answer: does he love you?"

Ah can't explain how it felt to have her ask me that, not fully. It was bloody.

His eyes danced in front of mah face, materializing as the sum of each time his gaze had fallen on me; from the first time he came to the mansion, to playin' rummy, all the fights and closeness and worry and uncertainty all melded together into one image.

"Yes." Ah felt the first tear spill, droppin' quickly and silently down mah cheek like it was tryin' to escape from everythin' it had seen inside.

Marrow watched me, a look almost like sympathy on her face. "Then you have become his soul."

She walked over and sat beside me on the bed. Ah could only watch her in bewildered anguish.

"And if I can help you to love him again, then maybe I can free us both."

Without hesitation, she put her fingertips to mah face.

Ah was small and terrified. Ah didn't understand what was goin' on. Ah didn't understand that people could really hurt each other this way. Of course I had been told there were bad people in the world, but they couldn't really be like this.

Ah held onto Annalee's blood soaked dress, unable to comprehend that she was dead. Tears ran ceaselessly down mah face. This just wasn't real. It couldn't be real.

_Ah don't wanna die, please god, ah don't wanna die. _

Berzerker had always said he wasn't afraid to die, and that no one should be. He said it would be a great adventure, and that he hadn't seen a Morlock yet who was so cowardly as to fear death. Ours were a great people, a people set apart by our courage.

Ah wished he was here to make me feel brave. Ah was very afraid to die.

A dark man with beady eyes stared at me. He was short, with slanted brown eyes above the large flat planes of his cheeks. He wore a big brown suit, fur lined at the sleeves and hood. He pointed a long weapon at me with a sharp point. Ah was scared of how much it would hurt, if he stuck me with it. Ah wondered if he'd just do it once, pokin' it all the way through, or if he'd do it lots of times. Ah choked on the terror and the tears came faster.

Finally, the dark man spoke, but not to me. "Scalphunter. Do something about this."

Another man, this one tall, but with the similar flat, dark features turned and scoffed. "Everyone wusses out when it comes to the kids. I don't get it. They're just small, stupid versions of all the people you've already scored."

He pointed a big gun at me. Ah looked into his eyes foah a second and saw somethin' horrible there. He was a real monster, and he was gonna kill me. He didn't care if ah was scared, or small, or hurt. Ah squeezed mah eyes shut tight and wailed.

Something impacted me, but it didn't hurt as much as ah thought it would. Ah heard a loud bang just afterward. That confused me: how had ah been hit befoah he pulled the trigger?

"Gambit you idiot!" the monster called. Ah didn't understand the words.

Ah tried to move, but mah arms and legs were pinned. Mah eyes flew open as ah flailed to be free.

"S' ok! S' ok! I got you!"

Ah looked up, but red, demon eyes glowed down at me. Ah'd gone to hell. Ah'd gone to hell foah bein' a coward. Ah shoulda listened to Berzerker. Ah wailed again.

"Shh! Shh, bebe! Dey'll hear you!"

"I don't want to go to hell!"

His eyes grew wider as he looked down at me, and there was such concern in them that ah started to feel incrementally better. Maybe demons weren't so bad.

"Yo' not going to hell, petite. Yo' not gon' die. I'm gon' get you out of here. I swear it, I'm gon' get you out!"

Ah sniffled, tryin' to quiet mahself. Suddenly ah remembered the red eyes. Ah started hittin' him.

"Put me down! Put me down! You're with them! You brought those bad men in! Put me down!"

He had been runnin', but he stopped, and his face crumpled in pain. Tears welled up and spilled over at the same time, and his arms shook around me. He felt really bad. Ah felt bad foah makin' him cry.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn' know!"

Ah patted his face, his tears made me scared again and ah started cryin' too. "It's ok. It's ok. Don't cry." The words had very little meaning. It was just what you said to someone when they were crying.

He took some shuddering breaths. "I'm gon' save you, bebe. I promise."

"Ok." Ah replied simply. He smiled at me gratefully, but it was a fake smile. It was the same smile Annalee had given me just befoah they broke in.

He pulled me back close, and it felt like he was huggin' me. Ah held on to him tight, and it was comforting. Ah was glad he was holdin' me. It made me feel safe now. This one wasn't bad like those other men.

After a while, ah heard rushin' water, and the air grew fouler and fouler. When he finally stopped ah looked up and saw the dirty sewer water.

"Bebe, can you swim?"

Mah face screwed up. "I don't wanna swim in that!"

He smiled again. "Me neither, but s' de only way to get away from dose bad men."

"But it _stinks_!"

"I know, petite. But we got to be brave, non?"

He sounded like Berzerker. Ah nodded gravely.

"You got to hold onto me, ok? De water will get fast, and it will be dark, and den we'll fall a little ways out into a beautiful lake. We can get all clean from the dirty water there, and we'll swim to shore and be safe. But de water will try to separate us: you got to hold on tight!"

Ah drew his shirt into tight little fists and looked at him seriously. He smiled once more, and then we jumped in.

The water was terrible, thick. He had his arms pinned around me tight, kickin' and kickin' and tryin' to keep to the surface. He managed to get us to the surface and we both took a big, acrid breath befoah we got sucked back under. Suddenly, we were sucked to one side. The water thinned, but sped up. It felt like we were bein' dragged behind a boat.

Our bodies started to twist apart, and ah clenched his shirt all the tighter. Every so often ah could feel his arms flail, tryin' to keep hold of me.

As the water sped and sped, it was only mah small hands twisted in the fabric that kept us connected. Eventually ah felt a strange pull, and then the tension on the shirt slipped away: it had torn free. Ah kicked mah arms and legs in the water, tryin' desperately to find him.

Suddenly ah was in the air, fallin' and fallin'. Ah screamed and got a mouth full of water.

Ah hit the surface of the lake, and plummeted forever down under the water, choking. Ah kicked and kicked and kicked. Just when ah felt mah lungs about to explode, ah broke the surface. Ah tried to see through the darkness on every side, but ah could only see the inky black of the sky, and the obsidian sheen of the water. Ah saw the reflection of mah tear stained face.

The moment ended. Marrow had touched me only a second and managed to stay conscious as she doubled over on the bed pantin'.

Finally ah recognized her face. Ah had seen it in Remy's memory a long time ago. Marrow was the little girl who was so important. He had captured her child-face in precise detail.

Ah had absorbed one other useful thing from Marrow. All mah confusion about Remy was new and overwhelmin': she'd had years to cope her with hers. Ah was able to compose mahself. Ah was able to pull up a mask much heavier and more durable than mah old flimsy one had been.

Ah watched her as she slowly started takin' deeper breaths. Ah was surprised. Mah touch is not usually a quick experience.

"Caliban did not exaggerate your touch….like I was hoping he had. It is something else. I feel like my very life is…diminished."

"It was a small dose. You seem to be comin' around in record time."

Suddenly, a sharp pain exploded from mah back and hands. Ah cried out a little, surprised, but almost as soon as the pain came it started to pass, the wounds from mah new bone spikes healin' shut. Then, the spikes dropped and new ones came juttin' out. This time ah managed to grind mah teeth.

Marrow looked at me wide-eyed as ah generated bone spur after bone spur, finally expendin' the last of her power as my most recent wounds closed.

Now ah sat pantin', tryin' to recover.

"I didn't realize that you…I'm sorry. That must have hurt."

"You have a regeneration factor. That explains yoah recovery. Ah guess that's pretty fortunate foah us both."

Our eyes met in quiet acknowledgment of our shared memory.

"Does it…help?" She asked hesitantly.

"Ah don't know yet." Ah answered honestly.

Ah waited, but she didn't say anything. "Ah recognized you."

"Really? I'm told I looked different as a child than I do now."

"Ah recognized you because ah've seen you through him."

Her eyes popped open and her jaw dropped. "You already knew?!"

"No. Ah only saw a glimpse. Just yoah face, and the way he feels when he thinks of you. He must think of you often, to have remembered so perfectly."

Her face contorted with somethin' ah didn't recognize. Foah some reason, ah thought it was important she should know. "He loves you, you know. He hopes yoah ok."

Marrow stared at me only a moment longer befoah she jumped up and fled the room.

Ah went to the dresser, got out mah cell phone, and dialed Logan. There was no answer.

23


	31. Chapter 31

_Thank you all so much for reading and for you patience. My sincere apologies for taking so long to update, and for not responding to you individually. That practice will resume next chapter, but I was desperate to finish and publish this before the New Year. Enjoy!_

Part 31: Home Sort-of Home

You'll have to fo'give me if my words are disjointed. S' hard to remember everything in chronological order and extreme detail from dis period. Every'ting hurt, and not'ing interested me.

Long road trips give a person lots o' time to t'ink. Time was exactly what I needed right now. De heartbreak was enough o' a monster to grapple wit', but it wasn' de only ball I was juggling. After I had time to calm down and start planning, I was sort o' grateful fo' dat. S' much easier to bury yo' emotional baggage if you've got distractions.

Logan was here, and until I came up wit' some stroke o' genius was gon' stay. If dat was true, I needed to learn how to manipulate him. He wouldn' like it, and it would take a huge effort on my part, but he was de one bein' stubborn. Leave a loose cannon unsupervised and s' bound to make a mess.

Once again, like a loser I was crawlin' back to my family home. Dis meant grapplin' wit' Assassins, which was bound to be mo' fun dan usual since Belle was gone. It also meant dodging Jean-Luc and de oath dat would finally seal my future. Since I kept ending up here anyway it was starting to seem like a less important point, but s' never a good idea to make a life path decision in de midst o' emotional strife. I had no idea how my family was gon' react to my ill-tempered excess baggage, but I would have to roll wit' de punches and try to keep ahead o' de situation.

Dis was a situation dat needed Gambit at his best, but unfortunately I was gon' have to manage it on minimal power. Still, in dis dere was an additional weapon. To Logan, and I knew to my family, it would be obvious dat I was not myself. Since I was almos' never emotionally honest, and even when I was it was never de whole story: no one could predict jus' how far gone I might be. I could use dat. My emotional outbursts would henceforth be timed, well-planned, and to my benefit.

O' course dat meant no candid outbursts. Dere's always a catch. So what's de official response to de heartbreak? Simple. Get over it. If only it was as simple to do as to say. Dere was no real point in boohooing. Rogue was gone, I was not an X-man: dese t'ings were now facts and no amount o' sulking would change anyt'ing. No one can choose how to feel, but I could still choose how to act about it. It was a clean break, and even if it seemed impossible now, dere would come a time when I wouldn' t'ink about it anymore. New York would be one o' dose lost chapters left to collect dust somewhere in the back o' my consciousness. Logan would eventually leave whether I got rid o' him or not, someday I would feel normal again.

But normal was as good as I could promise myself, and dere was the one horribly paralyzing catch: hope. De decision would come jus' any time, and I knew what de decision would be. Still, until it came dere was dat one in a million die cast dat she would choose me. I had to kill dat possibility. I had to take dat choice away from her and make it my own. It was de only way to survive, but I wasn' ready to do it.

So I would give myself a little breathing room to get de last o' de New York air out o' my lungs, the last o' her scent from my clothes, and let the memories yellow at de edges until I had enough distance to do what had to be done. Til den, I would jus' have to get ahold o' myself and play the game in front o' me. I would let Logan get comfortable wit' his winning hand, let him t'ink he had de win wrapped up nice and tight. I would let my family pity me and go easy. I would reclaim my bravado, come out on top, and go on wit' my life. I repeated dis plan like a mantra in my head so I wouldn' have room to let all de doubts crowd in. If I couldn' convince me, who could I convince?

I wished all de wild cards were out o' de deck.

Dere we were, driving along in a comfortable silence, when suddenly a computerized melody exploded from de passenger seat so unexpectedly it made me jump.

Logan grunted and reached into his inside pocket, pulling de phone out and flipping it open in one motion. He glanced as briefly as possible at de screen before snapping it shut and tucking it back in his jacket.

His face betrayed not'ing, but fo' some reason de exchange was jarring to me. S' like hearing dat noise outside when yo' home alone at night. You can' t'ink o' a reason fo' it, but yo' hair stands on end.

Den agin, I was a little edgy. De quiet road made me introspective: jus' de t'ing I didn' wan' to be. I was jumping at shadows, my mind trying to scare me onto annudah track. I settled back into my seat, coaxing my mind to abandon s' state o' alarm.

Not two minutes later, de melody rang out a second time. Again, I jumped. Logan's eyes tightened fo' a split second, but he didn' reach fo' it dis time. He stared straight ahead and ignored it.

I tightened my hands on de steering wheel. "T'ought you liked to live off de grid."

"You ain't the only one with separate lives."

"Not quite as separate as I'd like."

He ignored de barb. It was only half hearted at dis point anyway.

"So who are you avoiding?"

"Mind yer business."

"Pardonnez-moi, my ill-shaven comrade, but considering yo' latest display I figure all privacy claims are off."

Logan stretched his legs out in front of him, unconcerned. "I got leverage, bub, and fer once, you got jack."

"I never took you fo' de 'kick-a-man-when-he's-down' type." I tried to keep de tone flippant, but dere was still a faint edge o' spite.

He shrugged. I t'ink he shrugs too much. "I'm not usually. This is a special case. I always figured I could take you in an all out brawl, but outwitting you is a far better brag."

"Was dat a compliment wedged right in de middle o' yo' gloating?"

"Too early to tell. I'm waiting to see yer next move."

I stared back out at de road an' muttered undah my breath, "You an' me bot'."

We dropped de conversation, but it stuck in de back corner o' my mind, a puzzle missing a piece.

My fam'ly was less help dan I hoped, save one. Dey were predictable wit' regard to me; same pleasantly surprised, if somewhat smug expressions dat quickly faded into hard stares when dey sensed somet'ing not quite right. I tried not to notice how deir eyes darted ever so quickly over my shoulder, looking fo' somet'ing dat wasn' dere. Maybe it was jus' my imagination.

Unfortunately dey took to Logan immediately. When I first met Logan, it was on his turf. He knew I was trouble, and I knew he knew. We got started all wrong. But undah different circumstances, maybe I would have seen him differently. He was exactly the kind o' low key, rough-an-gruff, misguided sense of honor type dat ran in de t'ieves guild. He struck an accord almos' befo' he got out o' de car. Damn him.

Sebastian, on de uddah hand, was on my side. He was toddling now, talking a little too, but in his own personal language dat took some time to undahstand even if you spoke Cajun. As he grew mo' mobile, he also grew to be mo' trouble. He wanted to be everywhere, touch everyt'ing, stick everyt'ing in his mouth. He also t'ought dat de word "no" had de same meaning as "fun". If you tol' him not to, it jus' made him mo' determined. While exhausting, dis little development in personality had Logan on edge when Sebastian so much as came wit'in 10 yards. Logan's not much fo' lil ones to begin wit'. Sebastian, sensing Logan's discomfort, was determined to attach himself. Fantastic.

I hadn' even unpacked my bags befo' I put myself back on active duty. De ol' routines kept my mind busy and gave me a pleasant alternate reality: dat I had never left, dat de whole mess wit' Belle, de Morlocks, de X-men was jus' a bizarre dream.

Jean-Luc was not so much surprised as confused. He kept his t'oughts closely guarded, but offered, "I might not have made dis very clear, but you can come home jus' to visit. Stay as long as you wan', no t'ieving required."

"And do what, help Mattie in de kitchen?"

He smirked. "If it suits you."

"I'll take de streets, t'ank you."

"What you wan' me to do wit' yo' friend?"

"Put him in his crate til I get back. Don' bother feeding him."

His smile spread a little wider, but den faded. "You know, we haven' had to work quite so much lately."

"Non?"

"Haven' heard from de new account since Belle." He tried to lightly drop de name, but wit' such a story behind it dere was no way.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at de floor. "Anybody heard from her?"

He shook his head silently. We stood fo' a moment as he considered what direction de conversation ought to take. In de end, he decided to be merciful, breaking back into a casual smile. "Yo' sister is back on duty, you know."

I groaned. Merci was as good a t'ief as any, but she was far too serious. She had no patience fo' brazen antics or any uddah form o' fun. Fun was somet'ing you had once you had yo' target in hand. We'd never had a fight dat wasn' on a job.

"Can' we jus' split de city right down de middle? She gets one half, I get de uddah?"

"Depends. Can you stay on yo' half?"

I did a quick inventory o' my favorite spots. "Prolly not."

He laughed, "Welcome home, Remy."

I knew dere was bound to be a confrontation I didn' wan' to have, it was jus' a matter o' time. Sebastian had made himself doubly useful now dat he repeated whatever he heard, making phrases o' interest into little songs.

One day he skipped past me singing, "Pauv-re Re-my, pauv-re Re-my! Dormez-vous? Dormez vous?" (poor Remy, are you sleeping to the tune of "Frere Jacques".)

I scooped him up, but he wasn' as cuddly as he used to be. He wiggled and wormed and made a great game out o' escaping adults who were naïve enough to try to pick him up.

"Whoa dere! Oncle Remy wants to know where you heard dat song."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Teeeeeeeee Veeeeeeee!"

"You changed de words, _petit-homme_." He grinned and nodded. "So why poor Remy hahn?"

He answered wit' a new composition, rocking back an fort' in time to de tune in his head. "Nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows. Find out, find out!"

I sighed, "You let me know what else you hear, mon ami."

He was abruptly done wit' de conversation and started kicking his legs, swinging his arms and chanting "Down, down!" I complied wit' his request to avoid bodily harm, and on de way down he reached his lil' monkey hands into my pocket and grabbed my zippo lightening fast. His skills were rudimentary at best: de giggle gave him away.

"Give dat back you lil t'ief!" I snatched it back out o' his pudgy clutches and he ran away with a shriek o' baby laughter.

Hopefully dere would be enough time fo' me to script it out in my head, to make what had to be said a t'oughtless string o' words, each chosen carefully to have a desired effect wit'out touching de wound. Self-control was essential.

It was not a strong start.

Once Logan got a clear idea dat I was planning to stay put fo' a while, he let my leash out a little. He kept a low profile, enjoying de night life in de city, playin' poker wit' de uddah t'ieves, dat kind o' t'ing. I took advantage o' what space he was willing to give me, but if he t'ought it was gonna get him any brownie points he was sorely mistaken.

It was almos' late enough to be early when I got in after an unproductive night. De weather had complicated t'ings. Jus' as my target was nearing s' destination, de car transporting it hydroplaned into a fender bender: cops descended and de opportunity was lost. Couldn' even trust my luck lately.

I took off my soggy coat and boots, leaving dem by de front door so Mattie wouldn' squawk about de muddy tracks. Den, I headed as quietly as I possibly could up de stairs so Merci wouldn' squawk about me waking de bebe. My ability to charm de ladies o' de house was also on de fritz.

I had jus' skipped de squeaky stair when I heard a low, muffled voice. It wasn' unusual fo' t'ieves to be keepin' late hours, but out o' habit probably left from childhood I stopped to see if I could make out who was talking, and what about.

"Bout the same as last time…..it's hard to say."

Logan was talking to somebody, but I couldn' make out de uddah end o' de conversation.

"Look I'm keeping him out of trouble, I'm not the heart-to-heart type…I don't know if you wanna hear that, kid."

My breath caught and my ears were on fire.

"Well to be honest he's pretty rugged…What do you mean how do I know?..." he sighed heavily, "How do I get myself roped into this bull?"

Call me self-centered, but somehow I got de impression dat dis conversation was about me. I also had a fairly good guess whose honeyed voice was on de uddah end o' de line. Perhaps in annudah life dis would have been flattering, but fo' de first time in weeks I felt somet'ing uddah dan empty: de heat rose to my collar and de anger roiled up so strong it nearly gave me tremors.

What was I? Some kind o' experiment? A fish in a bowl? She pushed and pushed to know my secrets, den left me fo' dem, as I tol' her she would. Den she sends a babysitter? She could call _me_, and ask _me_ how I am, but she might get mo' of an answer den she bargained fo'.

All dis time everybody been so worried about what a man like me might do to her. Didn't anybody see what she had done to me? Even now, I couldn' blame her fo' her decision, as I said befo': I'd made de same one years ago. But keeping me on de knife's edge, checking on me clandestinely, dis was a half measure and a game I wouldn' have expected her to play. I couldn' have her, but I couldn' be free o' her either, her or her goon.

Dis was torture to a man already beaten, already bruised, already broken. How was I? I was in love wit' a girl who I could never touch, not because o' some mutation, but because I was too stained, too filthy, and she was clean. She extended her heart to me like an angel extends mercy, and den snatched it back wit' a snarl.

As fo' my heart, what could it be if not shattered? But fo' de meddling o' fate, she would be mine now. It had been so close, and even wit' de limitations, de fights, de danger, it would have been enough fo' me. Mo' dan I dared hope fo'. Jus' to belong. Jus' to be hers.

"Take my word for it, will ya? He's not happy…Not to me, don't know if he's talked to his family about it but I get the idea that he hasn't…No, I don't have a real clear read, on him or you really…I know, you don't have to go into it…"

My blood simmered, boiled, and den felt like it was open flames. My grip on de reins felt faulty, but I wanted to hear every word.

"Any chance they might move the date out?...Dammit. I really don't like sitting this one out. I wish either Scott or you would come to your damn senses already…You there?...Sorry, you know missing a good fight makes me grumpy. It's not yer fault. As if what you found out wasn't bad enough, you had to find it out that way…Take all the time you need. Just keep an eye on the pipsqueak for me, and keep me posted. You know if you need me I'll be there…you too, kid, you too."

I heard a faint click dat I assumed was de phone snapping shut, and den he groaned heavily. A moment later, de springs as he flopped down on de bed.

De very back o' my mind knew dat what I was feeling was far too violent and reactive to be fair. I didn' necessarily know fo' sure who it was he was talking to, or what about, even though I would've bet my life and been right. I also had no proof to assume de intentions behind de conversation. De words I put on de uddah end o' de line were entirely invention, down to tone and expression.

But t'ieves aren' known fo' playing fair. Well-founded or not I let de fury swallow me whole. If I'd been able to t'ink far enough, I might have laughed at de irony: dis was a Rogue tactic.

I stormed down de hall like a harbringer o' doom an' kicked de door in.

"Who de hell do you 'tink you are?" I grabbed somet'ing off de dresser, charged it an' threw it at him wit'out looking to see what it was.

He dodged and leapt to his feet in one motion. "What the hell, Cajun?"

"I never did any'ting to you!" I charged somet'ing else and threw it.

He batted it away and it exploded against de wall, blowin' chunks o' plaster an' dust all over de room.

"Bub, you better simmer down and stop trying to blow me up before I get pissed off."

"I have done every'ting dat was asked o' me, I tried everyt'ing I knew! What mo' does she wan'? When will it be enough? How much pain do I have to be in?"

I kicked somet'ing crumpled on de floor, charging it wit' my bare feet. It was a white tee shirt, and fin'ly it connected, sending white hot embers all over him.

He roared as he furiously brushed the burning shreds away. He lunged at me and I met him halfway, throwing my shoulder full force into his chest. It knocked de wind out o' him, but he got a fistful o' my shirt and we toppled togeddah. A hail o' blows landed on de back o' my head hard enough to make me see stars, but de pain only increased my rage.

So he t'ought he could take me? Time to find out. No punches pulled, I was gonna keep swinging til one o' us went down fo' de count.

I slipped an arm out o' my shirt and his hold was strong enough dat it ripped nearly in half. I pulled free an' rolled to my feet: he did de same, and dove fo' me again, landing a blow across my jaw. I rolled wit' de momentum and let loose a roundhouse dat connected wit' his ear.

Spinning to face him again, I reared a fist back, taking aim fo' his nose.

"Remy LeBeau you STOP dis RIGHT NOW!"

It was enough o' a distraction to avert my gaze fo' a split second. Jus' enough time fo' Logan to tackle me to de ground, driving his knee sharply into my stomach. I grabbed de lamp off de nightstand on de way down, an' while I still gasped fo' air broke it against his head, sending him rolling across de floor. I sprung to my feet, de disruption completely forgotten, my eyes fixed on Logan.

Befo' either of us could launch annudah assault, our line o' site was cut off by Jean-Luc an' Henri.

"MOVE!" we roared in unison.

"Take a walk, Remy," Henri said coolly, though his eyes betrayed some o' his alarm.

"Dis is none o' yo' business, Henri. Get OUT of my WAY!"

"My wife an' baby are trying to sleep, you are destroying de house, and yo' face is bleeding. Now calm down and come take a walk."

"Not a chance!"

"You got to fight me befo' you can get back to him. So either take a swing or TAKE A WALK!"

I glared at him ominously, seriously considering de option. He clenched his fists at his sides and raised his eyebrows, waiting to see what I'd do. De adrenaline an' anger stung in my veins, making me crazy. I jus' wanted to hit and hit and hit until dere was not'ing left o' me. But o' course, Henri was my bruddah who had done not'ing wrong. I couldn' bring myself to hit him. I settled fo' shoving him out o' de way as I headed to de door.

Logan snarled at me on de way out from where Jean-Luc had him cornered, trying to calm him. I snarled back, my body half turning, but Henri shoved me through de door and slammed it behind us.

Henri followed me down de stairs and out de front door. I didn' bother grabbing my coat or shoes, though de rain still pelted down, oblivious to our little drama.

To my extreme dismay, de cold water started cooling my anger almos' instantly. My skin was so hot it steamed as de cold drops hit one by one, icy touches gently soothing my temper. I knew it was ridiculous to be having a fist fight like a wayward teenager in my fam'ly's home. I jus' didn' wan' to know right now.

De rain might cool my temper, but it had no effect on my drive. I walked briskly, letting my legs try to burn de excess energy my fists held onto. When dat didn' help, I marched, den jogged, den ran outright.

De wind and water drove behind me, my bare footsteps splashing through de swamp. My hair, skin, and what was left o' my clothes eventually got soaked. Pieces o' bracken, dirt and leaves stuck to me, and branches whipped at my bare arms and face. I paid dem no mind, jus' ran and ran and ran til my pulse thundered in my ears and my lungs felt like dey would burst.

Logan's swipes started taking deir toll. My ribs complained as dey expanded, my face stung, my neck was stiff and my head throbbed from de trauma and de high. I drove myself harder. I liked dis pain. Dis pain was somet'ing I could touch and see, somet'ing familiar dat I could manage. My steps drummed a faster an' faster beat, de stinging rain hitting harder and blurring my vision.

Finally, gasping fo' breath I slowed, pacing back an' forth, unable to run further but still not spent. A branch caught my cheek, and I swung back at it. My legs exhausted, I put de energy back into my hands, swinging at de tree trunks, de bark scraping my knuckles.

Hands shaking, de cold fin'ly registered in my system and set me shivering out de last bit o' exertion. I dropped into de bed and leaned against my former foe, looking up and letting the cold water hit my face as I sought to caught my breath. I closed my eyes and focused on every discomfort; de raw feeling o' de wet fabric, each pang, every cold sensation, every complaint.

And when fin'ly dey ceased to distract, I let her face crash into my mind. Her voice had been so close, and she hadn' asked fo' me. Dat's what made me so mad. I was so desperate to see her, feel her, hear her, and she had resisted me so easily, and how often? She'd asked _about_ me, but she hadn' asked _fo'_ me. She danced around de peripheral, out o' my reach and out o' my sight, haunting me. Strangely it made me feel mo' alone dan if she vanished completely.

I mus' have been pitiful when Henri caught up to me, drenched, wounded, shivering in de dark. Poetic from de outside perhaps, but not a strong showing on de carefully-controlled-meltdown front. By now I was feeling embarrassed an' guilty, and so didn' look at him as he approached.

"You done yet?"

De night was already a waste, might as well be honest. "No."

"Would it be possible to relocate to someplace dry?"

"Yes."

"Is it safe to put you back in de house or are you gon' keep tearing t'ings up?"

I sighed. "Might as well." I stood, crossing my arms over my chest in a useless attempt to keep warm.

Henri tossed me his coat. "You don' look so good, Remy."

"Imagine dat."

"I don' mean de busted face. What happened to you? What's wrong?"

I met his gaze, wit' what expression I don' know. "Me. S' de usual story, Henri. I jus' don' fit."

"Don' fit where?"

"S' not important. Let's jus' go back to de house. S' getting late, Merci will be worried you."

He didn' know how to deal wit' me in dis mood, so he jus' complied. I didn' realize how far I ran: light had jus' barely broken befo' we got back. By de time we made it to de front door, every inch o' me was sore an' de novelty had worn off. My face was swollen, my feet cut an bruised from my little escapade, and a bruise was jus' starting to blossom across my stomach. My head pounded, my temples throbbed, I was freezing an' well beyond exhausted. If I had to face Logan again it wouldn' be much of a show.

Again, lady luck eluded me. Logan was sitting on de front porch, a cigar in one hand and a forty in de uddah. Worse still, he was freshly showered, unblemished, alert: a regular dapper dan.

Henri eyed him warily, but I knew dat de danger had passed. Logan doesn' have much of a poker face.

"Pull up a chair, tiger."

"Maybe you should bot' get some rest first, hahn?"

"S'alright Henri. Go on in."

He shot me a heavy warning glance. "Won' be any trouble. Scout's honor." Logan raised two fingers to corroborate.

Still wary, but too tired to pursue it further, Henri headed inside. I plopped down in de chair beside Logan. He tossed me a pack o' my cigarettes an' a lighter.

I took one out gratefully an' brought it to my lips. "I gotta warn you, I don' know how much longer I'll be coherent."

"Yeah you look it." I rolled my eyes at him. "Feel any better?"

"Don' know. Too tired to feel much. You?"

"I'm right as rain, thanks fer askin." He set his beer down between us.

"So what kinda vengeance should I brace fo'?"

"Nah. I've been expecting something like this fer awhile. You needed to blow off some steam. I just underestimated yer flare fer the dramatic. Kinda hard to keep cool when someone opens the show by throwin' bombs at me."

"Sorry. I guess dat was a little harsher dan necessary fo' de offense."

"Yeah well, I busted you up a little rougher than I really had to."

"No kidding."

He grinned. "Glad we're past that."

I picked up de forty and took a swig. "You gon' keep spying on me?"

"Yep. Though blowing up my phone is gonna make it trickier."

"Why? What could possibly be in dis whole t'ing fo' you?"

He took a drag off his cigar. "A couple of things really. First, what I said back at the mansion about you getting the boot is true. The X-men can't start holding prior offenses against team members without being entirely hypocritical. Yer not the only criminal trying to sleep under that roof. Not the only killer either." He gave me a meaningful look.

"Dat explains why you left, it doesn' explain what yo' doing here."

"In addition to making my political statement, I'm also giving Rogue some peace of mind."

"I t'ought I did dat by leaving."

"Did it ever occur to you that we might have more to talk about than just you? Like the fact that she's hunting down those machines that abducted 400 mutants and took them to Antarctica?"

My pulse picked up a step. I hadn' forgotten, I jus' tried not to t'ink about it too much. I didn' answer.

He snorted. "As long as she knows I'm here, lookin' out fer ya, keeping you out of trouble, and most importantly keeping track of your slippery Cajun hide, she can focus on what she's doing and keep herself alive. She knows I'm doing her a favor, but she doesn't really grasp what that favor is."

I looked at de ground sort o' sheepishly. I hadn' considered dat angle. "So why not jus' tell me dat from de beginning?"

"Cause yer a stubborn pain in the ass, and I didn't feel like it. That, and you haven't exactly been on the sensible side of late. Figured it'd be easier on you to have at least the illusion of space."

We sat in quiet, enjoying a smoke as de sky steadily lightened.

"When does dis end?"

"Her call." He glanced over at me. "I gotta admit, this seems tougher fer you than I thought it would be."

I chewed on de question I wanted to ask, nodding in acknowledgement instead. De conversation was bordering on personal: a genre Logan can't really stomach, so he stood.

"Well, you got yer freebie, Gumbo. You come at me swingin' again I'll put yer friggin lights out. And you owe me a phone and a shirt. Now go clean yerself up."

I tossed my cigarette over de banister, and headed woodenly up de stairs, almos' delirious wit' exhaustion. I would give all dis mo' t'ought tomorrow, fo' now no irreparable damage had been done. I collapsed onto my bed, not caring what de mud and debris might do to my sheets.

It didn' take me long to start drifting away, but jus' befo' my eyes closed I noticed an odd series o' stains on de ceiling. Dere was almos' a pattern.

Solving de mystery was my last coherent t'ought befo' losing consciousness: tape marks.

13


	32. Chapter 32

_Red Skippy – Thank you for the compliment and for hanging around! I know my update rate has been deplorable lately, and it was great to see that you were still sticking around. We'll get there, I swear!_

_ultimateGambit – I am so sorry you had to read this whole thing through again – it is forever long! I hope you won't have to do it again this time, but I'm glad you're still enjoying. Some of those early chapters really make me cringe, but I hope it's gotten better as it goes. Thanks for reading and for your review._

_SparklesInTheSun – lol – the tape marks are from Rogue's visit to New Orleans. Remember when he taped a sheet to the ceiling to make a partition since she was all shy about sharing room? I know, it's been so long ago and I suck at updating lately…So yes, to recap, Rogue knows about the Remy's past (at least with the massacre), but she's not sure how she feels about it yet. And I think you're onto me! I am trying to wrap this one up at some point, so it won't be a perpetual adventure. Thank you for reading! _

_Shandy – Thanks for keeping the faith! I've been writing this thing forever, I could never give up on it, just got to get better about making the time. And I know, these chapters where Remy and Rogue are separated are hard and I just wish they' get it together! But unfortunately perfect relationships are boring – we'll just have to see if they can work it out. Don't worry, Logan will strive to keep us entertained in the meantime. _

_Juno21 – Thank you for reading and for your review! I hope this latest chapter lives up to your expectations. _

_The Duplicitous One – By the way, love your screen name. Thanks for reading! I liked the word "captivating" – I'm flattered. I know, Remy is his most charming when he's his more confident self, but hardships are just opportunities to grow…I think I've given them ample opportunity, don't you? lol_

_Lurch2753 – Wow. Thank you so much for reading and your kind review! I had a great picture of you on your Blackberry at work (looks a lot like me trying to sneak in a few rounds of "words with friends" during a call blitz). I wish I was working for Marvel! But for now, I'm having a blast pretending. Hope you enjoy this latest piece. _

Part 32: Arrival

It was cold and white. Empty and violent.

The scene should have been familiar from the danger room, but the adrenaline and reality emphasized the open space, stretchin' foah miles into a distant horizon of blazin' white. Every line was sharp and hard, outlinin' jagged shapes that did little to break up the barren landscape. The wind whipped furiously over the field of ice, searchin' in vain foah some obstruction on which to crash, screamin' it's frustration as it passed.

Visitin' Antarctica isn't like going to another country, it's like going to another planet.

Ah was hangin' onto Scott as he navigated over the frozen plain. Three other snowmobiles rode in close formation – Storm and Psylocke, Mystique and Pietro, and Hank with our equipment. We could only have been travelin' for a couple hours this way, but the light was constant; it gave no impression of time passin', and the empty, homogenous scene gave me the eerie impression we were actually standin' still.

Scott's voice came scratchin' into mah helmet yet again, "Comm 1, what's our current range?"

Wanda's voice replied immediately. "Sixty-seven miles remaining. On-time arrival is expected at current velocity. Continue south-south-east."

Ah had to hand it to her, she was certainly reliable. As rough as it was on a snowmobile foah the past few hours, it couldn't be easy to sit and stare at a screen foah that length of time without getting distracted. After having seen the tiny communications hub lined in cinderblocks - closer to a cell than a headquarters - ah couldn't help but admire her efficiency.

Nevertheless, another hour and half seemed dauntin'. The wind and motors didn't leave much room foah conversation, and there's no such thing as nappin' on a snowmobile. We were trapped behind our plexiglass helmets with nothin' but our thoughts foah company. Mah thoughts were neither comfortin' nor comfortable.

Ah had tried foah days to reach Logan as the mood around the mansion had grown moah and moah ominous and the day drew near. Ah had taken foah granted how much ah relied on Logan's solid nature when ah felt like the world was out of control. His temperament would make him seem unreliable, but to me, he was a good friend, and he was always there. He had been fit to be tied about us goin' on without him, so why the radio silence in the last few days?

And at the risk of sounding juvenile, things didn't feel right without Remy either, and ah needed Logan to tell me about him and make me feel like he wasn't so far way. Ah needed the time apart, but ah wished ah needed somethin' different, somethin' that would have been easier. Ah didn't trust mahself not to hurt him, and ah could barely live with the hurt ah'd already done. At the very least, ah had to know which feelings were really mine. Ah didn't want Marrow's venom using mah words as an outlet, or even worse, Caliban's compulsive violence. There is no textbook or support group in place for how to handle discoverin' the other half of your soul is covered in lies, secrets, and blood. The lack of control that had been mah crux from the very beginnin' had finally succeeded in drivin' us apart, and somewhere under the puzzle in mah head was moah than one broken heart.

There wasn't really a good excuse for spyin' on him – ah should have had the strength to live with all or nothin', but sadly ah didn't. Logan's updates were frustratingly undetailed and less than encouraging, but it was better than nothin': until they stopped.

But that last night, when we all went to our rooms knowin' we wouldn't sleep, ah spent a long time starin' at the ceiling, tryin' to organize mah thoughts, clear out everythin' except what ah needed to complete the mission - expel any fears, doubts or loose ends. There would be no room foah anything but a soldier. As some of the fog began to dissipate, the small, achin' need grew larger.

Finally ah shot out of the bed, grabbed mah cell phone, and dialed the number befoah the moment of clarity passed or mah courage failed. Ah held mah breath as the dull ringing began, tensing for the relief of hearing his voice. Once….twice…three times….four

Ah hung up when the beep of the voicemail came on and dialed back immediately, not sure why ah thought mah chances would be any better. Again, the beep of the voicemail. Ah shut the phone and swallowed an unforgiveable lump in mah throat. When Ah left for Antarctica, mah last memory would be of him drivin' away, and of knowin' it was mah fault. And even in the haze of confusion and conflict, ah knew that was wrong – ah wanted more.

Ah dialed back one last time without hope. When the beep of the voicemail came up, ah tried to make mah voice sound calm.

"Hi Remy. It's me. Ah was hopin' to catch you befoah we take off tomorrow, but ah guess yoah in bed or out someplace loud, " it made me a smile a bit to imagine which was moah likely true. " Look, um…ah know we haven't talked, but ah wanted to let you know that Ah'm thinkin' about ya, and hope yoah enjoyin' the time with yoah family. And voicemail probably isn't the best way to tell you that but….anyway, ah'll call ya when we get back. And….ah miss you. So, ah guess that's all then. Bye. "

Ah felt like an idiot as ah hung up, but better. It felt like there was moah of a reason to come back. And that gave me the last nudge of motivation ah needed to commit to the road up ahead.

The trip wasn't much of a tale. Everyone kept the mood light, but the doubts showed through in nervous laughter and awkward pauses. The best access point was from the Amery Ice Shelf on the east side of the continent. The Australians had one of the few coveted hard landing strips for the Blackbird and the chartered DASH-7, and our centrally-located destination was as convenient to the bases there as anywhere. First we headed over to Australia, which worked out because there's nothing like a 30 hour flight to dull one's senses.

We spent three days in Perth, and though almost everyone was itching to get out and see the wild continent befoah we headed off to the icy one, we spent the entire time in a series of briefings with special committees from the UN to ensure that we had the equipment and know-how to complete the mission. They stressed that this was a reconnaissance effort only, and that we would be reportin' back with any findings immediately so they could determine if future action was merited. Ah fought not to roll mah eyes. If it weren't foah the fact that the Professor was able to personally finance our little expedition, they'd just as soon do nothin'. Still, we needed to convince them that we would be good little muties so we could at least have the chance to look foah the missin' ones. From the clenched fists and tight expressions around the table, ah knew ah wasn't the only one tryin' to bite mah tongue.

Finally, we headed down and landed at the Amery airstrip, where we were quickly packed up and herded off to the camp. To our great disappointment, the researchers there had another briefin' for us, this one even less comprehendable than the ones in Perth. Hank alone took studious notes as they relayed information about weather patterns, gear, and the importance of not compromising the primary function of the camp as a scientific research center. Ah had to kick Jubilee under the table to keep her awake.

They gave us a tour of the small facility including the communications center, and then showed us to our temporary quarters: two rooms littered with cots and a closet each. It felt appropriately like a barracks. At long last, they left us on our own.

As the door closed behind the last of the outsiders, there was a moment of tense silence. The professor cleared his throat, and the adrenaline hit in full force as we all realized the same thing: this would be our last time together as a full group. Our missions started in earnest in the mornin'.

He addressed Magneto first, "I would like once again to express my profound appreciation to you and your team, Erik. This effort would simply not be possible without your assistance. I know that we work on a temporary truce and there is no lack of hostility between us, but it does me twice good to know that some ghost of our former friendship remains, and that true justice overcomes the most severe conflicts of ideology."

Magneto stood with his usual kingly heir. "Ideology and idealism are two different things Charles. Everyone here wants your imaginary world of kindness and cooperation to exist, only some of us recognize that the nature of man makes that world an absolute impossibility. It is my hope that this experience may lead you, or at least some of you, to awaken to that reality. It is not a malicious desire, only an understanding that if you could for a moment let go of a perfect world, we could all work together, as friends, as we are now, to establish the best possible world. Mutants should enjoy fellowship and brotherhood, and though our situation may prove temporary, we are proud to join you in your efforts to rescue our own. " At this last, Erik clasped the Professor's forearm, and they shared a silent moment that would have seemed almost tender but for the fact that we were watching two titans.

"Thank you. Now if you would be kind enough to permit me to speak to my children for a moment?"

Erik nodded, and the Brotherhood left the room, no doubt eager to have a moment to be among themselves.

"My X-men," the Professor began, and took a long pause to look at each of us individually. When his sharp blue eyes fell on me, ah straightened mah shoulders, wantin' to show him that ah was ready. He smiled in a way that was almost sad. "The most difficult thing about being your leader is actually asking you to be X-men. Sending even one of you into danger sets a terrible weight upon me. Yet the world we live in does not allow me to use you sparingly. If there had been anyone else, I would rather have saved you this task. I know how very much it is to ask you, and believe me there is no one here more affected by our situation than myself. And of course I would know," he tapped his temple, and we all grinned, like a bunch of kids at camp with our favorite counselor.

After the brief levity, his face set hard, eyes alight with intensity. We unconsciously inched closer to hear his next words. "But let me reassure you: if there were one person here in who's ability, courage, and preparedness I lacked confidence, we would not be here. If even one of you could not be trusted to persevere even against remarkable odds, we would depart at this moment, task undone. But the truth is, as much as I may think of many of you as my own children – and believe me, I am old enough – you are not children."

He leaned forward, grippin' the arms of his chair, his voice sure. "You are X-men. You are the measure to which all other mutants must hold themselves, and I can never express how seeing you all here makes me overcome with pride. This was my dream for years, seeming unreachable even to me at times. And yet here you are, in this moment, in this place. This is the moment in which you show yourselves more than every before to be heroes. You have come willingly, selflessly, thanklessly, to the aid of mutants who's future was beyond all hope. Believe in yourselves. Believe in each other. And believe that there is nothing here that can overcome you."

His next words were still for all of us, but his gaze settled only on Scott. "And one of the greatest reasons to take courage is in your leadership. The task I set before Scott is more difficult than any other – I give him responsibility not only for your success, but to bring you safely through every battle, every hardship. The reason he is thusly appointed is because he is utterly capable. When it comes to tactical calm, strategic decision-making, and survival instincts, there is no one superior. Those of you who leave tomorrow, you leave in capable hands. Scott has my full confidence: respect and follow him. And come back safe."

Wordlessly, he yielded charge of us over to Scott, who now took up the floor.

"Ok team. Until we get on the plane to leave this place, we are X-men and X-men only. It's vital that we have full focus, that we give this our all. Whatever our situation was back home, whoever here is your best friend, your worst enemy, "and his eyes cast meaningfully on Jean "or the love of your life, here they are strictly your teammate. We are relying on one another as we go into a situation we know nothing about. You are trusting the person beside you with your life, and them you. Be trustworthy."

You'd think we'd all be used to the pre-mission pep talk, but this time every word put a little moah salt in mah spirit, made me stand a little straighter, and put mah head where it needed to be. If the Professor was helpin' behind the scenes, ah was honestly ok with it.

Scott continued, "I won't keep you here much longer. It's important we rest as much as we can – we'll need to be fully alert tomorrow. But as you're preparing yourself for the day ahead of us, I would ask that you take some time to remember why we are doing this. Remember being in the garage and hearing that horrible noise, waiting in fear to see if they would drop the building on us. Remember those big hunks of metal that dragged innocent people screaming from the streets. Remember that those people may just be alive, but even if they aren't, we owe it to mutants everywhere to find out what happened and make sure it never happens again. And yes, even it means breaching protocol with our hesitant friends in international politics. Let's be clear, I'm not encouraging anyone to act out in defiance, but what they don't understand is that this is _personal._ "

We nodded furiously, enjoying the cathartic relief of the validation. These were _our_ people, and _we _were going to take care of it, with or without anyone's say-so.

We dispersed to spend the night in closely packed cots, one room foah us ladies, one foah the gentlemen. The close quarters were uncomfortable all the way around, especially if you happen to have a skin condition that kills. Ah chose a spot against the wall and no one argued. But mah new shadow, Jubilee, came and plopped herself down on the bed right next to mine, suddenly invigorated.

"Can you believe we're seriously in Antarctica? I am so jealous that you get to go out first. Maybe they'll at least let the rest of us out to explore, this base is the pits."

"Ah don't know Jubes, seems like we're on a pretty tight leash here."

"You're not scared of the dweebs in camo are you? Pssh, I could have taken those guys out by myself and I'm just a second stringer!"

"Yoah not second string, hell Colossus and Magneto will be runnin' with ya. But hopefully we'll just find a lot of rock and ice and then go sightseein', no need foah any dramatics."

Jubilee paused, her voice unusually grave. "You know, for once I hope so too."

Ah had only been half payin' attention, but ah focused back in with a smile. "Yoah not worried are you? This is just like any other mission. The big wigs get everyone all worked up, we go out, ignore the plan, and everything ends up fine."

"Yeah we've gotten pretty good at step 3."

"Ah'm just glad Bobby's not on mah team. Can you imagine how horrible his puns will be considerin' where we are?"

Her face twisted up "Ugh! Just kill me now why don'tcha?"

"Well look at it this way – maybe he can finally get it out of his system on this trip and we can live in peace from now on."

"Yeah, right," she rolled her eyes, "and maybe Scott will grow a sense of humor."

Ah smiled, and then added seriously, "Just do me a favor – if foah some reason you guys get called out, and ah'm aimin' foah that not happen, stick close to Colossus and stay away from Sabretooth, ok?"

She nodded dismissively. Jubilee doesn't really like people worryin' about her, but it needed to be said.

"Well, I guess you probably need your rest. Sorry I'm just starting to feel a little cooped up and everyone else here treats me like I'm eight and ride the short bus."

Ah smiled, "Not a problem. Yoah good company, really. You distract me from thinkin' too much."

"Which you do all the time."

"It's a hobby."

Everyone else was pretty well settled in, and Jean pointedly shut out the light. We needed to be alert tomorrow, but if she really expected us to sleep on a cot, in the common room of a research station in Antarctica, the night befoah a mission, then the stress really was gettin' to her.

We laid quietly in the dark, which was startin' to feel familiar. After a few minutes, Jubilee whispered, her voice quiverin' just a little. "Do you think we can do this? …I have no idea what I'm doing here."

Ah waited a minute befoah answerin'. She wanted reassurance, but she wasn't just some kid: she was a member of the team, and deserved an honest answer.

"Ah don't know, but we'll find out tomorrow. We've been trained, we're ready. We're the X-men, and there are people out there countin' on us. There is no one else if we can't."

"But we don't even know who we're up against, and the machines were bad enough. What if there are more of them?"

"If there are, then it's that much more important that we stop them. There has to be justice, Jubes. You can't just erase a bunch of mutants and face no consequences. Would you rather stand by and wait for those things to show up at the school?"

She didn't answer foah a while. "I'm scared."

"Sometimes that's not a bad thing. Use it. Let it make you better, more aware, more cautious. And just remember that none of us are in this alone."

"It's being the second team that kills me. It'd be one thing if I was the first one out, but if something happens to you guys...I mean if you can't do it what are we supposed to do? It'd be heading out knowing you're not gonna make it."

Ah sat up and punched her in the arm. "If you don't think you can take it when the times comes, then stay behind. No one will stop you. But I don't want to hear any more bull about anyone not making it. You keep tellin' us yoah not just some kid, that you can do anything we can do. This is yoah big chance. Prove it."

She rolled over and tugged her covers around her. Mad. Good. Jubilee was moah productive angry than scared. And ah couldn't bear to think of leavin' her here alone and afraid. Alone and angry was easier. Logan asked me take care of her, this was the best ah could do.

A last thought occurred to me. "And in the meantime, just you think long and hard about what happened last time you faced those machines. If ah remember correctly, somebody held them single-handedly when Wolverine was taken out of commission."

She didn't answer. Ah closed mah eyes, willin' mahself to refocus. Ah took mah own advice and let mahself fall back into the day that had put us on this path. Mah mind called forth an image of a long steel tentacle flyin' towards me, wrappin' around mah face, cold and alien. The weight of the garage pressed down heavily, and the first pang of panic set in as ah realized ah had no way to fight back. Then a blur of brown leather and pink explosions streamed into view, and ah knew everything was going to be ok.

Miraculously, ah fell asleep.

The mornin' was all business. Food, pack, and ship out. Now we just had to get where we were goin'.

"Comm 1, what's our current range?"

Usually someone would have given Scott sass by now foah his military precision, but today we all just waited patiently foah the answer.

"Thirty-two miles remaining. On time arrival expected at current velocity. Twenty-mile alert will be issued, use extreme caution and investigate any apparent disturbances. Please execute individual check-in to ensure all communication modules are functioning properly at this distance."

Scott began the roll call. We all confirmed that two-way communication was in place. It seemed only seconds later that the 20-mile alert was given, and even though the situation wasn't at all funny, ah had to stifle a giggle. There was absolutely nothin' to see. Everythin' here was an endless stretch of the same, and with all the harsh lines left by the wind scratchin' at snow, and the angry lookin' rocks juttin' out of the earth, who would notice a disturbance?

Still we scanned our surroundings diligently, all of us exhausted of the tension and hopin' to find somethin' that would get this whole show on the road. As much as it would be a relief foah us to come back empty handed, it would mean a cold case foah the 400 missing mutants.

Wanda alerted us again when we were in 10 mile range, then 5. Everyone's heads were swivellin' furiously to see somethin', anythin', but we sought in vain. At long last, we arrived at the coordinates Hank had pulled from the downed Sentinel's guidance system. The snowmobiles came to a halt, and we dismounted stiffly.

Hank set to work unloading equipment to see if maybe there was something here we couldn't detect. Mystique, ever-talented with technology, set about helping him. Pietro took off to investigate the perimeter, two miles out. He'd be back in a few minutes. Scott and Betsy began ground surveillance, and 'Ro and I took cautiously to the wind foah aerial surveillance.

The icy gusts buffeted us about, but our suits protected us from the worst of it. We stuck close together so Storm could spare us the worst of the gales, but as we flew we a saw nothin'. After about 30 minutes, 'Ro came over the comm line "Does anyone have a suggestion as to where we should focus our search?"

Scott replied "Hank, we don't have any visual disturbances, are you getting anything on the readers?"

Hank's voice sounded incredulous, "The readings so far are normal. I'm still conducting my research, please be patient."

We waited another 30 minutes, but mah eyes were startin' to glaze over from seein' the same pieces of empty. Finally the base called in.

"Cyclops, please report your status."

His voice was blank, "We have reached location and dispersed to observe. At this time there is nothing to report. We are continuing to survey the area."

The feelin' of defeat started to creep in. All the trainin', all the speeches were foah this? We renewed our efforts to search, but this time with moah desperation than hope. We searched foah another hour, in vain.

Hank came in "Perhaps we should continue our search by moving outward out on a grid pattern. It's possible there may be more information to uncover in the surrounding area."

"Which direction do you suggest we start?" Scott's voice was flat. This would be stabbin' blind, and we all knew it. Ro' and ah started our descent to discuss our next, less confident steps, when a strange thing happened – a crag caught mah eye.

At first ah thought ah might be delirious, but they did say to investigate anythin' and everythin'. Ah headed off to take a closer look. It was only a few hundred yards off. Ah landed and went in foah a closer look. Ah ran mah gloves over the surface of the rock, checkin' foah anythin' unnatural or out of the ordinary, if anythin' in Antarctica can be called ordinary, but it looked just like any other rock.

Ah stared at it hard, tryin' to determine what had caught mah attention. But there was nothin' remarkable about it at all. It stood about 30 feet tall, gray with white and pink veins, patches of ice.

"Storm, can ah get a second pair of eyes?"

Ah didn't realize it, but conversation had stopped to watch mah progress. Storm hurried over.

"What am I looking for?"

"Ah don't know, anything that stands out."

She scoured over the surface with as much care as ah had, usin' her eyes and hands to try and perceive any unusual characteristic. Betsy joined us, surveying around the bottom of the structure, and Hank came over using his various equipment to scan.

After about 20 minutes, ah started to get frustrated. Somethin' had caused me to check into this thing, but ah couldn't put mah finger on what it was. The excitement faded quickly as we started to realize this was another dead end.

"I am sorry Rogue, there doesn't seem to anything out of the ordinary."

"Mah mistake, don't know what caught mah eye."

We started wanderin' back toward the snowmobiles in defeat, empty-handed. Cyclops radioed in, "Request to return to base. Recommend additional expeditions to search surrounding areas."

"Request granted. Approximate distance 148 miles. Arrival estimated in 3.5 hours." Even Wanda's voice sounded a little deflated.

"All right team, I know this wasn't exactly what we were looking for, but it's a good start. We reached our destination without incident, and we have the first of the findings to evaluate back at camp. We'll keep searching. We'll let B-team use a fresh set of eyes tomorrow. There's something here, we just have to find it."

We all hoped he was right, but day one wasn't very encouragin'.

By the time we got back to camp, ah was freezin' cold and cranky to boot. We took turns takin' hot showers, but the chill felt like it had settled deep into yoah bones, where nothin' could ever get it out again.

B-team went out the next day, and we listened anxiously foah any reports as they scoured the same area near Hank's coordinates. The air of drama was down somewhat after yesterday's underwhelmin' outcome, and ah had asked Jubilee if she would take another look at the crag. Frankly it was the only thing that really stuck with me about the scene.

We took turns botherin' Toad foah updates from the comm. line, and checkin' in with Hank as he studied the samples, readings, and photographs from our previous expedition. It was a long and slow day. Even the Professor was startin' to show signs of impatience.

Our hearts sank as B-team radioed to come back in, empty-handed as we had been. Magneto's voice carried in enough frustration to give you chills.

Once B-team returned, the leadership team had a meetin' to discuss next strategy. They went behind closed doors, but the facility wasn't really designed for sound-proofin'. That and we were all tryin' to hear some explanation of our thus-far-failure and so we could get on the right track.

"It's not as if we're searching a city where 400 people might be a needle in a haystack. We're searching through the most barren place on the planet. An operation of a necessary size for large scale abduction should leave noticeable traces." Magneto's voice was drippin' with accusation.

"And what exactly do you suggest then?" Scott was simple as always, but his firm tone held a subtle warnin'.

Mystique was unimpressed by the apparent display. "Let's state the obvious shall we? Your amateur scientist pulled some information out of a badly damaged search unit, and translated a programming language with which he was completely unfamiliar. The theory was flawed from the start, and we're wasting time and resources here while the trail goes cold. Exactly how long are we going to be led by the blind?"

"Your assault on Beast's qualification is baseless. He is one of the most qualified men on the planet to conduct this research."

"If that's your level of confidence, feel free to wheel yourself out there and have a look."

The sound of a chair sliding across the floor alerted us that Scott had stood in a hurry. "That kind of attitude is unproductive and unprofessional. If you can't actually contribute to a leadership conversation, you can take a hike."

"Careful, you'll hurt my feelings."

"Mystique perhaps lacks some diplomacy, but her point is valid. At this point we continue by searching aimlessly on an inhospitable continent, when all of the evidence points to a flawed supposition. Exactly how long are you planning on entertaining this idea?"

"This is a search effort," the Professor's voice rang in calmly, but with some tension. "If any of us were expecting our objective to be complete within a few hours of searching, then that was simply naïve. It could be several weeks before we find anything. The information we have is not ideal, but it's the best we've got at present. We must keep looking. We can't possibly give up after two days."

"We also can't stay here indefinitely."

"We have run of the base for 30 days. I suggest we use each and every one of them."

"You can't really intend on keeping us here a month finding nothing?"

"On the contrary," and here the Professor's voice took a bitin' edge, "You can leave at any time and we will respect your decision. We will continue without your aid, provided you can manage your own way back. Our team has already incurred enough expense for this opportunity between training, travel, and research. But we understand if you find the work too exhausting."

There was a long pause. Ah held mah breath a little, hearin' that thinly veiled animosity from a man who seemed perpetually calm.

"Very well, Charles." Magnet's voice was placatin'. "Perhaps the disappointment has us all a bit on edge. We will continue for now. But I think it wise that you consider alternatives should our efforts continue to prove futile."

The plan was to widen our nets. We set out again the next day, and the second round on the snowmobiles had us all a little saddle-sore by the time we arrived. We were less hesitant now, our nameless fear now seemin' like a silly dream. We were searchin' foah clues now, not so much people. We scoured the rocks and snow drifts, Storm and ah took aerial photos foah analysis back at base. We did our jobs flawlessly, and yet at the end of the day were no better off foah our efforts.

Now we were startin' to get bored. Hank trudged off to the back room to study our samples, but without the thrill of new discovery he starts to wilt a little. The rest of us started to notice just how scant our accommodations were, and wondered how we would ever pass the coming weeks trapped in this tiny space with nothin' to do and no cable. How did these scientists hack it foah months out here without goin' nuts?

Once B-team went back out the next mornin' the cabin fever really started to set in. It would be hours befoah they even reached the next patch of nothin'. So, we started messin' with each other.

Betsy rummaged through 'Ro's bag to see whether she had conditioner. 'Ro was not amused, and some heated words were tossed around befoah they stalked off to take bunks at opposite ends of the room like feisty teenagers. Sabretooth challenged Colossus to a fight over the last porkchop MRE (army ration), and when he refused insulted his masculinity in a crude and Sabretooth like way. Uncharacteristically, Colossus jumped at the bait. Magneto pushed him back against the wall and Mystique talked Victor down. Scott let his macho side get the better of him when Pietro tried to flirt with Jean, and she turned off their depth perceptions foah 15 minutes. Ah thought it was an interestin' concept of time out as they stumbled around knockin' into things. Worst of all, Toad started tracking the days here like we were in prison – only instead of carvin' tick marks into the wall, he used his trademark mutation: bright green wads of spit. The scientists were not impressed, but not brave enough to do anything about it. It's not that Toad is all that intimidatin', he's just creepy and gross enough to ward folks off just the same.

Bein' out was hard, but it was definitely preferable to bein' stuck inside. When a sudden storm kept us all home bound foah two days, the Professor had to reinstitute trainin' just to give us some kinda outlet from bein' at one another's throats. We went out in shifts in our heaviest gear, scufflin' in the snow and practicin' maneuvers. Ah noticed that people weren't pullin' their punches anymore when Mystique sent Betsy tumblin' head over heels with one kick. Normally we would have cried foul and let leadership handle it, but everyone was too geared up to care and the exercise rapidly disintegrated into an all out brawl. Bishop launched an energy blast at Blob, which was somethin' he'd mentioned he was curious about earlier. It didn't work, and Blob gave him a punishin' blow foah tryin'. Toad's tongue flew out at Bobby and he froze it to the wall of the base. Foah mah part, it felt good to let Sabretooth's face eat some of mah frustration, but it was less funny when he slung me over his head by mah hair. The episode was brief – as usual Scott stepped in to be responsible and ruin the fun, blastin' at the X-men with an order to stand down. Still, the event improved moods considerably foah a few hours.

We were startin' to give it less than our all in the field – we now expected to find nothin' when we went out, but we stayed out and searched as long as we could anyway. If the mutants had ever been here, they certainly weren't here now. There was still a slight chance we could find some clue as to where they went.

A-team was packin' up after another unsuccessful expedition. Scott was recountin' in his captain's log the notes of the day, coordinates and area searched, readings and samples taken, which piece of the grid we were on, etc. At the end of the day, we would still have to report our efforts. If we were gonna find nothin' we at least needed to validate the fact that we tried.

Since the wind and weather was some version of cooperative ah was up takin' some last minute aerial photos. Ah turned around to get a final shot of the perimeter when somethin' caught mah eye – a shape in the distance. Ah stopped dead in mah tracks, not wantin' to charge off again on a wild goose chase. Ah stared long and hard at the shape, tryin' to figure out what exactly had mah instincts all stirred up. Ah couldn' put mah finger on it.

"Rogue, we're packing it in." Scott's voice was flat, but not as heavily laden with disappointment – like ah said, we no longer expected to find much.

"Wait please. Ah need a minute."

"What is it?" Mystique's voice was moah irritated than curious.

Ah stared and stared, feelin' frustrated. There was somethin', surely there was somethin' to this. But the longer ah stared, the moah it looked like just a rock in the distance.

Finally, heavin' a sigh, ah landed. "Nothin'. Nevermind."

Hanks' voice held a glimmer of hope. "Rogue, if you think there's something worth investigating…?"

"Nope. Got nothin'."

Ah was gnashin' mah teeth the whole ride back. Was ah delirious now? Somethin' in mah basic makeup just loved a good rock?

But as we rode ah had an idea – maybe the Professor could help with this one. There was clearly somethin' grabbin' mah attention that ah couldn't identify, but with his help maybe we could simplify it down into somethin' understandable.

Ah approached him as soon as we got back to camp, wantin' validation if nothin' else. He looked tired as he reviewed the maps to plot our next course.

"Professor?"

He looked up and smiled, but it wasn't one of his most convincin' efforts. "Yes Rogue, what can I do for you?"

"Sorry if ah've caught you at a bad time, it can wait a bit ah guess. You have been on the radio all day."

"Not at all. I think these eyes could use a break anyhow. Is there something on your mind?"

Ah pulled up a chair. "It could be cabin fever or wishful thinkin', but twice now ah've been out in the field and somethin' has suddenly grabbed mah attention without me knowin' why. The first time it was just a big rock, and the whole team searched but couldn't find anythin', and then this last time ah saw a shape in the distance, probably another stupid rock, and again ah couldn't figure out what was so special about it."

He shrugged "We are in a very strange place after all. It can give one a sense of otherworldliness, jumping at shadows-,"

"It's not like that."

He cocked his head to one side, givin' me his full attention. "What is it like then?"

Ah took a deep breath and paused, thinkin' of some way to express what ah meant. He waited patiently.

"It's kinda like…well, have you ever run into somebody and recognized their face? And you kinda stand there goin 'Ah know that person, but ah have no idea what their name is or where ah know them from'?"

"Certainly, though I have ways of unraveling those mysteries for myself rather easily." He smiled.

"But that's just it, ah think maybe if you'll take a look at what ah'm talkin' about you might be able to tell me whether ah'm bein' crazy or not."

He raised both eyebrows. "You want me to look at your thoughts?"

"Just these," ah warned.

He considered for a moment. "I can try if you are willing, but please understand that your mind is more difficult to navigate than most – it's difficult for me to target pinpoints of thought, I have to search through the strand."

"Yoah mutation, yoah methods."

He nodded. "Very well. Just try to relax and think about what you saw and how you felt. "

"Can do." Ah'd only been obsessin' about it foah the past several hours.

He wheeled in close and reached out one hand, lettin' it hover near mah temple. Ah closed mah eyes so it wouldn't make me nervous. If ah ever absorbed the professor ah think it'd be the end of everythin'.

Ah forced mahself to think of that first day, the adrenaline as we raced over the snow wonderin' what we would find, our disappointment, and then that little burst of alertness as the rock jumped out.

"Stay there." He said softly.

Ah focused, thinkin' of the exact texture, shape, and height of the rock. A froze mah mind's eye in the air above it. Unnervingly, ah saw the Professor below me, approachin' the rock and examinin' it himself. He quickly reached the same conclusion we had: nothin' to it.

One of mah legs started bouncin' as ah got frustrated again. "Rogue, relax. I wanted to make sure I understood what you saw, and now I do. Next, I'm going to examine your thoughts and see what caused the reaction. Be patient with me, it's been a long day."

Ah opened mah eyes long enough to smile sheepishly, and then closed them again, goin' back to that moment. The image suddenly got a slight blur, like it was vibratin'. The psychic stuff never gets less weird.

All at once ah felt a strange jolt, like bein' shocked with a live wire. Mah eyes shot open and ah clutched mah head. The professor grunted, obviously also affected. "I'm sorry – you have….a scar of sorts. I didn't realize. Let me try more gently."

Ah nodded, tryin' not to let it shake me. This time the image didn't vibrate, but seemed to undulate like a picture floatin' on water.

"What are you lookin' foah?"

"The source of this thought. It should be simple to find – response is always linked to stimulus - but I'm having trouble pinpointing it. It really does seem to come out of nowhere, but you're right, it's not like it's imaginary or self-deluded."

"Gee thanks."

He chuckled. "I meant that in the textbook sense of the term, of course. Why don't you think of the moment from today? Perhaps it will be easier to see a link between the two."

Noddin', ah directed mah thoughts toward that shape on the horizon, mah agitation as ah tried to pull some meanin' out of it. The professor took a deep breath, and then ah saw a proection of him float out through the air in front of me, toward the rock in the distance. It gave me chills.

"Sorry. Sometimes the easiest way to find more detail is to use my own eyes. Just a little trick I've learned over the years."

"How do you ever get used to this?"

"I haven't. It's completely different each time I use it, because each mind is different. It wasn't really the control that was difficult for me, thankfully. It was overcoming my often unwelcome curiosity, finding some way of living with my abilities without being a perpetual intruder."

"But hey, at least no one can lie to you."

"Of course they can, people can lie to themselves can't they? You'd be surprised how often I find various conflicting versions of events all locked within a single mind."

Without me meanin' to, Remy came to mind, and with him Marrow and Caliban. Ah felt somethin' like the snap of a rubber band as the Professor snatched his consciousness out of mine, holdin' his ears.

"Ah'm so sorry, are you all right?"

He straightened up, willin' himself to relax and smiled reassuringly. "You can just be quite loud sometimes."

Ah sighed, "Tell me about it."

"It actually makes it a bit worse when you try not to think about it."

"Should ah try not to try not to think about it?"

"Now there's a brain teaser. I could try to turn them down a bit you know, but either way I'm afraid they won't lessen by being ignored."

"You can tell which one is me?"

He shook his head. "Not so much. You're very difficult to latch onto. But I can tell which ones are not you. Counter-intuitive, I know." His eyes lit up. "Wait a moment, maybe that's an idea. Think again of the incident from today."

He came back into mah mind, but this time it was just a feelin'. Ah didn't see anythin' but the rock in the distance. This time Ah had a strange feelin' like the kind you get when you miss a stair in the dark.

The professor's eyes shot open, "Rogue, this isn't your thought." Both hands flew up on either side of mah face and his eyes sparked with intensity. "This is something you've absorbed from someone else."

Ah didn't know whether to be thrilled with the progress or maddened by the continual interference.

"That explains the scar. You absorbed this forcibly in Sinister's lab, from Vertigo."

Mah breath came up short at the memory of her thoughts floodin' me out, erasin' me from existence. Just befoah mach chest started to tighten, a wave of calm washed over me like a sedative.

"I'm sorry. It's not my place. I just can't stand it."

Momentarily euphoric, ah smiled. "Ah don't mind. That's one feelin' ah can do without. Hell maybe you can just turn 'em all off and all mah worries will be over."

The calm started to fade down. "I would never do that. That _would_ be erasing you. Now, where were we?"

With a gentle nudge, we went back one last time, and ah felt waves of triumph as the Professor had an epiphany.

"And there it is."

"What? What did you find?"

"The shape you saw today was the same rock you saw on the first day, just at a distance. Rogue, what you are recognizing is a landmark."

Ah shook mah head, tryin' to understand. "What does that mean?"

"It means," his voice full of excitement "That you know where we need to go. You're the map."

17


	33. Chapter 33

_Note from the Author: I know that I'm horrible. But as promised, I will not abandon this story until it's finished. And get this – I finally know how it ends!_

_Thank you all so very much for the patience, kind reviews, criticism, and continued reading. I hope you enjoy this latest installment. _

Part 33: AWOL

Henri was still in de game, but he was starting to sweat.

"I'm flattered that the Thieves Guild thought well enough of me to send their prince in person, but we still have a little problem." Trey McGowan folded his hands in his lap, leaning back in his chair. "I can't have every rag tag band of pickpockets I run into thinking they can take a shot without facing consequences."

Henri only blinked, but his hands clenched into fists. Trey stood, pacing the room. "So tell me, what would your Guild do with an intruder who sought to make off with something that didn't belong to them?"

He waited wit' polite pretense for Henri's answer, but Henri smiled in a taunting way as he replied, "Intruders would never make it this far, so s' a moot point."

It was an insult. Trey McGowan was one o' de highest paid "private contractors" in de country. His reputation was known in de underground by his self-professed specialty - "janitor". Criminals and public figures hired him from time to time to "neutralize situations" – whether that meant paper trails, weapons, items come by dishonestly, or keeping witness accounts out of the media. Wit' warrants in seven states ranging from extortion to assault, he was not a man to take lightly – an ideal target.

Trey jus' happened to be in town on a divorce job – how sad. Turns out a certain corporate mogul had lavished his wife wit' nearly $100,000 in fine jewelry over deir six-year marriage; unbelievably she had left him over a lil issue of compulsive infidelity. Legally de jewelry was hers, but de insurance policy maintained by her husband would be split. Trey was transporting de articles out of country so dey could be stored in a foreign account and returned to de good businessman after de court proceedings – he'd keep de jewels and get $50,000 to boot. It was a bold move since he had an obvious motive, but knowing Trey dere would be no evidence and everything would come out clean – he would certainly charge enough.

"You know, I don't think you're taking this quite as seriously as I'd like."

Trey turned his gaze on me wit' a slight nod. I was playing de inside man on dis job, running personal security fo' Trey while he was in town. Trey preferred hired guns to be local, dat way dey knew de flavor and were never around long enough to know what he was up to. In theory.

I had been away from dis city fo' so long I was no longer a known figure. De career span of most professional criminals is less dan professional athletes. Henri was practically a celebrity of de underground, though de fact wounded my pride a little.

At his implied command, I took a step forward and threw my fist into Henri's jaw: de force snapped his head backward.

De smirk on Trey's face was quickly squelched when Henri started to laugh. "Do you really intend to handle me like a common street rat? Me?"

He calmed his guffaw and leveled an unconcerned stare back on Trey, ignoring me completely. "Let's cut de bullshit and talk plainly. You may have caught me, but now yo' faced wit' de problem o' what to do wit' me. After all, I infiltrated yo' base, know where yo' keeping de jewels, merde, I even know which flight yo' taking out o' town. You can't let me go. But you can only take yo' persecution so far. You can't risk making an enemy out o' de T'ieves."

Trey snorted. "The Thieves are a joke - low class, petty gutter swipers. Perhaps _they_ should have thought better before making an enemy of _me_."

He nodded to me again, and I slugged Henri between the ribs, knocking de wind out o' him.

As he gasped fo' air and Trey t'ought up his next line, a dull buzz broke through de tension. Comically, Trey reached down for his cell phone. Finding it blank and lifeless. his eyes cut over to me scathingly.

I reached down and took de offending phone out o' my pocket. I hit de button to ignore de call, sparing a quick glance down at de number.

My breath stopped. Now? Why now?

My fingers itched, burned to flip it open, my body stilled fo' de rush of relief dat sound would bring. I held in place, unable to tear my eyes away.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gautier, am I interrupting some personal business of yours?"

I hadn't realized dat Trey had been talking to me. With every fiber of my being resisting, I put de phone back in my pocket.

"Sorry boss."

De jarring quiet had lasted only a few seconds befo' de buzzing started up again.

I clenched my hand into a tight fist as Trey stared me down. I tried to make my smile casual as I gave de smallest piece o'de truth.

"S' my girl. Guess she's a little lonely tonight."

Trey watched me wit' a considering look, but Henri's eyes got wide fo' jus' a moment as he searched my face. I could have kicked him fo' dropping his game like dat.

De buzzing stopped, and Trey looked at me a moment longer befo' turning back to Henri. "Pardon the interruption. Where were we?"

Henri smirked, "Don' worry about it. Good help is so hard to find dese days."

Trey opened his mouth to speak, but befo' he could de phone started again. Under his breath he muttered, "Dammit."

And dat was all de notice I got dat Trey 's trust in me was broken. In our world, suspicion is de same t'ing as guilt.

In de two seconds it had taken me to hit de floor, Trey drew de 9mm from inside his coat and fired a shot where I had been standing. I rolled into range and kicked a leg out, trying to bring him down. He sidestepped and aimed annudah shot, but Henri's bonds were not as constricting as Trey might have liked. He lunged from de chair and tackled him from de side.

"Merde, Remy! Help me hold him!"

But Trey didn't get to where he was wit'out being able to scrap. He covered his fist and used de force of bot' arms to drive an elbow into Henri's stomach. Henri doubled over, breath forced out in a loud "whoosh" dat left him gasping.

Trey grabbed de handgun from where it sat on de floor, leveling it at me again. But I was in close quarters now, my mind calm and staff drawn. I swung and landed a welt on his wrist, effectively disarming him as he used de force to roll deftly to his feet. I swung de staff down in front o' me, trying to knock him back down, but he caught it wit' his powerful arms, bringing us face to face.

His voice was cool. "You think you're the first traitor? Oh no my little friend, I like a good traitor every now and again. It puts the fun back in a good old-fashioned homicide. "

He tossed his head back and sent his skull crashing into mine befo' I could react. Fo' a moment all I could see was stars as several mo' blows crashed into my jaw.

Still sputtering, Henri tried to intervene but it only earned him a wallop right in de chest. It was jus' enough o' a break fo' me to regain my composure. I was a danger room alumni, no way would I be taken down by one stupid criminal. Besides, he wasn't really a martial artist per se, jus' a skilled brawler. I needed to handle him like I used to handle Login in training. De trick here was to be faster and out o' reach. I dropped to de floor and rolled over to my discarded staff, swinging it in a wide arc to give myself a little room.

"Get out o' here Henri. I got dis."

Trey half smirked, confident he could take me. Henri looked uncertain, but I glared him down until he took a dive fo' de door. Trey dove after him and I jabbed de end o' my staff between his shoulder blades. His back arched involuntarily and dat gave Henri enough o' a window to get out o' de room.

Trey cracked his neck and turned back to me. "All right Mr. Gauthier, you first."

I easily side-stepped his first lunge, leaving him wit' a wallop on de back o' his head fo' de trouble, but I misinterpreted his goal as his open hand approached de gun on de floor. I knew I couldn' get to gun befo' he did, so in a split decision I leapt after him.

When he turned and swung de barrel around at me expertly, I was ready. Catching the cool steel between my fingers, I kept myself barely out of the line o' sight befo' charging and detonating. De energy set off de bullet, which went whizzing past my ear, and de gunpowder burned us bot' as de metal went to pieces.

Trey was left dumbstruck by the unexpected outcome, and I was quickly able to fell him and pin him on the floor, arm twisted behind him. Game, set and match.

Merci burst into the room, eyes wild until she had surveyed the scene. Once she determined that no one had been shot, she was quick to help me tie the now wordless criminal. She gave me a reproachful look, but didn't say anything. It technically wasn't over until we dropped him at de police station, so we avoided de "constructive criticism" fo' now.

We lugged him outside to where Logan was waiting wit' de car. Logan was going to be de innocent bystander, finding an incapacitated Trey on de side o' de road and handing him in to de police fo' a hefty twenty thousand dollar reward. Merci had cracked the safe, making off wit' half de jewels – after all, we needed to leave enough evidence to implicate Trey in de crime. Seventy-five thousand wasn't bad fo' a night's work. De wife would get half her jewels back and $25,000, and the husband (should he even be able to clear his name) would get $25,000 - a pittance after the hundred-fifty grand he counted on.

Logan dropped us at a safe point so he could hit de police station while Merci, Henri and I switched to a different car to head back. We barely got de doors closed befo' Merci started in.

"What in de hell happened? I had jus' closed de door to de safe and was headed fo' de window when I heard you two idiots letting yo' macho instincts get de better o' you."

"It was an accident-" Henri started in helplessly.

"An accident? AN ACCIDENT? Dis was our biggest heist in months and you had an accident?" She practically spat de words , "Do you understand dat 'accidents' normally lead to body bags? Jus' what was I supposed to think when I heard dat gun go off? You two had one job, on job only, I can't get in and out if I can't trust you two to do yo' damn job wit'out-"

Henri leaned between the seats and grabbed her by de back o' de neck, pulling her down to plant a hard kiss on her mouth. She punched him de chest, seething as she drew back. "Don't you DARE try to sweet talk your way out-"

"I'm sorry I worried you, chere. We had to play it by ear a little bit," He gave her de full force o' his baby blues, brimming wit' remorse and sincerity.

Merci's teeth came togeddah wit' an audible click as she turned to stare out de window, jaw clenched tight. She was undoubtedly plotting all de ways to make his life hell.

I barely registered de spat. My mind was completely on de phone burning a hole in my pocket. I needed to get home, to get someplace private so I could find out jus' what was so urgent.

What if she was in trouble? Surely not, she was wit' de rest o' de team. Maybe she jus' wanted to talk? Yeah right, like after all dis time she'd try to be casual. What could she possibly have wanted from me bad enough to call three times back to back?

"Aren't you driving a little fast dere Remy?"

"Hmm?'

"We don' exactly want a speeding ticket, non?"

I glanced down to de speedometer as de needle twitched past 75 mph.

"What's de limit?" I asked innocently, as if I didn' know it was 55 and had been fo' years.

"Take yo' current speed and subtract a lot." Wit' a sigh, I begrudgingly eased my foot off de gas. Felt like we were crawling.

"Dat fire fight back dere got you a little riled, hahn?"

I glanced over my shoulder blankly. "Quoi?"

"De asshole wit' de gun!" Merci spat, still in a bad mood.

"Oh. Yeah." Actually, couldn' be further from de truth. I had already forgotten bout dat. In fact, none o' dese heists really held my attention fo' long.

"Hey dat reminds me, who de hell called you?"

I kept my eyes on de road. "Don' know. I'll check it once we get home."

Henri kept his face cool as he pushed, "Shouldn' you check it now? Somebody calls three times I'll wager s' important."

"Mind yo' own business." I snapped irritably.

Wit'out warning, Merci's wrath turned on me. "You watch yo' mouth! Yo' so wrapped up in yo' own little world dat you don' notice anyt'ing, not even de fact dat you and yo' bruddah almos' got killed!"

"Henri and me been in worse scraps befo', will be again too. Maybe you need to decide if yo' a t'ief or a housewife."

"And _you_ need to decide if yo' a t'ief or an X-man."

I wished she'd hit me instead: dat's what I had expected her to do. "You make it sound like I have a choice."

Glaring out our separate windows, we rode in silence back to de docks and de motor boat, and finally home.

Merci marched herself upstairs to the bedroom she normally shared with Henri and locked de door. Henri sighed as his shoulders slumped.

"If she wasn't de biggest pain in de world, I would never be sure she was really meant fo' me. Looks like a night on de couch. You up fo' a movie? I could use some time to wind down and somebody ought to wait up fo' Logan."

A part o' me felt guilty – it was rare to have time jus' us, wit' him having a family and de guild keeping us running.

"Actually…I'm a lil beat. I t'ink I'll take a glass o' bourbon and hit de hay." Henri only shrugged, flopping down on de couch wit' de remote.

Forcing myself not to run, I made my way upstairs, trudging down de hall and into my room. Once de door was closed, I whipped my phone out o' my pocket.

A little yellow envelope lit up de screen. "New Message" it said. All at once my hands went cold. Wasn' it obvious? Dere was no emergency – she was in New York wit' de team. She wasn' calling to chat. Dis was it. De moment I had been dreading from de beginning. From dose green eyes looking up out o' her notebook in de courtyard, to her waking in my arms in Sinister's lab. From de rooftops o' New Orleans to de coffee shop back home. From de danger room to de collapsing garage. From her bed where we lay awake to de driveway where she faded from my sight.

I had known all along dat dis was coming. And still I wasn' ready.

I walked over and sat down on my bed, pulling de bourbon out o' my nightstand. Had it been so long since she slept here, in dis same bed? Dere was no trace o' her here now. Taking a swig from de bottle, I stared at my phone like it was a living, breathing entity. At any moment it could strike and end everyt'ing.

Still, a stupid flicker o' hope floated through my mind, probably a side effect o' de bourbon. As much as I dreaded what was lurking in dat envelope, dere was no way I could leave it until morning.

Taking another long swig from de bottle, I put de cap back on and steeled myself. Holding de phone to my ear, I pressed play.

"Hi Remy. It's me. Ah was hopin' to catch you befoah we take off tomorrow, but ah guess yoah in bed or out someplace loud. Look, um…ah know we haven't talked, but ah wanted to let you know that Ah'm thinkin' about ya, and hope yoah enjoyin' the time with yoah family. And voicemail probably isn't the best way to tell you that but….anyway, ah'll call ya when we get back. And….ah miss you. So, ah guess that's all then. Bye. "

A soft beep let me know de message was over. I sat motionless fo' a moment, and den pressed play again, listening closely to each word, every inflection o' her voice, every pause.

Another soundless minute passed, and den I was up off my chair. No longer caring fo' appearances I ran down de stairs and lobbed de phone at Henri, who cocked an eyebrow at my outburst.

"Tell me what it means."

Henri looked at the phone then back at me coolly. "It means you probably drank yo' bourbon a little fast."

Rolling my eyes impatiently, I pointed to de phone, "Listen to the message. Tell me what it means."

Hesitantly, Henri picked it up and put it to his ear. As soon as de message began to play, he grinned, "S' our girl all right!"

"But what does it mean?"

"Shh! 'S still playing." Henri listened intently, his face more serious. He took one look at de desperation in my face, and den he was off de couch, marching up de stairs.

I followed him blankly, still waiting fo' an answer. He knocked on Merci's door.

"Go away, Henri."

"Merci, we need yo' help."

"I don't care."

"Rogue's on de phone. Remy's asking me to analyze. I don't want to give him de wrong answer."

Seconds later, de door opened a crack and Merci held her hand out. Henri deposited de phone and she retreated back into de shadows. We waited.

After a moment, de door opened a little wider and Merci studied my face. "First off, I don't know her so well and you haven't told us what happened. But dat aside…I t'ink she's being sincere."

"About what? What does she mean by dis?"

Merci held her hands up apologetically. "Like I said, I don't know her dat well."

Just den, de front door opened. We looked at each other, quickly realizing who it must be. In one solid pack, we rushed down de stairs.

Logan looked up at us like we were crazy. "Geez. I didn't know you cared." He cautiously held out de envelope presumably containing reward money fo' Trey.

Merci held out de phone to him. "Translate, please."

"Something wrong with yer English today?"

She shoved it into his hand insistently. Grunting in discomfort, he put de phone to his ear and pressed play. To his credit, he didn't react to the voice on de uddah end.

Handing de phone back, he said calmly, "You sure you want my input? You should know her well enough by now."

I jus' nodded, not daring to let my mind run it over.

Logan sighed, "You didn't hear this from me. It means she's been thinkin' about you all the time, and doesn't want you to give up on her cause she hasn't given up on you. And that she misses you. Rogue doesn't mince words much – she usually means what she says."

His voice was gruff, ever disdainful o' emotional honesty. My heart hit lightly in my chest, once, twice, and den thundered out o' control. She missed me!

I felt de grin spread across my face and couldn' care. Henri clapped my back. "I guess dis means yo' gon' start acting human again?"

"Didn' you hear? My girl hasn' given up on me. Human doesn' even cover it!"

Merci smiled at me teasingly, "Only himself when he's in love."

Henri grabbed de phone from Logan and handed it back to me, "You gon' call her back?"

My mind skipped joyfully. Call her? Talk to her?

Logan shook his head. "Not now. It's one A.M. here, which means its two A.M. in New York. She said her piece, she needs to rest and focus on the mission."

My heart sank back down a little, but I knew he was right. I wouldn't let this mild disappointment cloud de fact dat Rogue still wanted me, at least a little.

A new t'ought hit, one which set my emotions on another roller coaster. It had been cold and dark inside fo' so long, all dis excitement took a toll. Rogue was leaving tomorrow fo' Antarctica, and I wouldn' be dere to protect her.

"Logan…dey really going wit'out us?"

"Whadja think they were gonna do?" Logan tried to sound casually sarcastic, but de rough edge in his tone gave him away: he didn't like dis any mo' dan me.

"Who's going where'xactly?" Henri chimed in. Logan and I searched his face, trying to decide if he was asking as a t'ief or as a friend.

Shrugging, Logan answered cool as a cucumber, "They're on a reconnaissance mission. Trying to find out where the missing mutants from the Sentinel attack ended up."

Merci's eyes grew wide. "Dey trying to find de robots?" Her eyes turned accusingly at me, "And you were going to go and not tell anybody? Where are dey looking anyway?"

"Dat's classified."

Rolling her eyes, she asked cynically, "De X-men have classification?"

Logan fixed them with one o' his cold stares, de kind dat said "give up immediately", "No. But the United Nations sure does."

Henri's face was full o' concern. "What you got yo'self caught up in, bruddah?"

"Nothing, as it turns out. Dey kicked me out. Dat's dat."

"Which means, we're completely blind until the team gets back. We'll have no way of knowin' if they're ok, and no way of helping." Logan shoved de envelope into Henri's hands unceremoniously and shoved past him toward de den.

Henri and Merci watched him go, den watched me fo' a reaction. I tried to school my features. "We jus' gon' have to wait. Nothing fo' it. Dey trained. Dey don' need us. " I wasn' sure whether I said so fo' dey're benefit or mine.

I could tell dey wanted to ask me mo' questions so I hurried to follow Logan. He was sitting on de couch, flipping through stations wit'out really waiting to see what was on each one.

Henri and Merci looked at us and den each uddah, debating whether to join us, but eventually decided against it. At least dis lil' spectacle had won Henri hack his bed. Always a bright side.

We sat in silence, wishing that the flashing box had enough magic to distract us from de knowledge dat in a few hours, everyt'ing we cared about would be on a plane towards danger - wit'out us.

"It's not like they don't know what they're doing." Logan muttered under his breath.

I wasn' totally sure if he talking to me, but t'ought I'd answer anyway, "Absolutement. We'd probably jus' distract dem, what wit' yo' anger issues and my relentless charm."

Logan cut his eyes half-heartedly at de jab. "So exactly how much of tonight's take do we keep?"

"Half goes to de house, de rest split four ways. We come out wit' around $9,300 each."

"Is that enough to get from here to Antarctica?"

Our eyes met in quiet acknowledgement. "If you know how to haggle, which I do."

"How long do we give 'em?"

"You wan' to give dem a window?"

"We show up, our reputation is gone forever. That and Rogue'll slug you if she thinks you're underestimating her."

Sighing heavily, I gave it some t'ought. "How long were dey planning to be dere?"

Logan shook his head, "Wasn't exactly clear from the briefings. They're searching through ice, could find nothin'. A month?"

A month? Thirty days o' wondering? "Two weeks."

"It's gonna take 'em a week to get there."

"Two weeks."

Logan eyed me carefully, den de corner o' his mouth twitched. "Two weeks from tomorrow. Book it."

De beginning o' a countdown is always de worst part.

11


End file.
